What are we doing? There was a river. The river became a road. And the road branched out to the whole world. But because the road was once a river, it was always hungry. In the beginning, it was that everything came forward and practiced and confirmed the self.

[01:41]

this is the river but then the river became that the self came forward and practiced and confirmed everything but because it was originally the other way around the self is always hungry. And not just hungry, but anxious. And this way of the self coming forward and acting on the world of the subject confirming the world.

[02:52]

This way is well-established. It's a well-established habit. As a matter of fact, this way we call the way of the world or the worldly way. Me here coming forth, acting upon you and the rest of the world. me doing Buddhist practice this is well established and we need to accept that there is this way there is such a road that covers over the river and it's a hungry road it's a hungry self always hungry and anxious the mode of the self-conscious subject acting upon the world is always hungry and anxious the way it was in the beginning that

[04:16]

All things come forward and realize the self. All things come forth and realize themselves as the self. That way we call enlightenment or awakening. that the self comes forth and acts upon the world and practices the world and confirms the world and manipulates the world, that we call delusion. And we call it delusion in quotes because it's not really there. This is not happening. It doesn't happen that way, really, but we dream it does. One way is awakening, the other way is delusion. Life in the river that's coming and giving life is awakening.

[05:20]

Life of the self, already there, the predisposed, prejudiced self that now acts upon the world, this is the world of delusion. So I ask, and one might ask, how do we return to the river? How do we return to the world where everything's coming forth and realizing me and you? How do we realize the world where she's got the little bitty baby in her hand? She's got you and me.

[06:24]

sister in her hand and she's making it happen how do we return to that world where we're actually born how do we return to the primordial passivity of life where we are made through the great activity of all being? How do we return to enlightenment? How do we return to the way things actually happen and then live from there? In other words, how do we take refuge in Buddha? There's two ways.

[07:30]

One is study the mind. The other is study the body. This week and for a few thousand years, the Buddhists have been emphasizing studying the body first. And studying the body means studying your own body. It means studying with this. You could say with this. I'll start by saying study with this lump of red flesh. But then I'd change the language a little bit and say it is this chunk of raw meat that

[08:35]

that studies the way and this chunk of raw meat which it is this chunk of raw meat the chunk of raw meat doesn't study the way it is the chunk of raw meat that is the study of the way I don't study the way you don't study the way the body doesn't study the way the body is the study of the way The way the body is is the study of the way. The way the body is is entry into the Buddha way. It is returned to the river. It is plunging through the floor of the road back home and being made like a gangster.

[09:37]

when you graduate from gangster school they say you're a made man you get to be made in the river when you return to the body which is sitting at its place which is here and someone said one of the questions from the people in this little training session we are coming to the end of here said well what about when you're not in the sitting posture what about when you're out in the world how do you practice then and I would say that The sitting posture, the body in the sitting posture is somewhat artificial.

[10:48]

To put the body in the sitting posture so that we can realize the body practicing is somewhat artificial. But we need, most of us need to have the body in a particular, in a definite form in order to realize the body practicing. If the body is in various forms, We tend to stay in the mode of the road. We tend to stay in the mode of I'm practicing.

[11:54]

I'm driving. I'm cooking. I'm talking. I'm thinking. I'm confirming things. I'm using the body. The established thing is the self-conscious subject dominates the body. That's the established pattern. And if the body is moving all over the place, the self-conscious subject can say, can think, according to its habit, I'm dominating the body. I'm practicing the body. The body is working for me. Not very well sometimes, but working for me. It's more the other way, really, that the self works for the body. The body created the self to make more bodies. But then we forgot about that.

[12:56]

But when the body is placed artificially in a definite form like the sitting posture in meditation, It is possible to just let it sit there and let the imposition of the self upon it drop away. It is possible to realize the body just being the body. And when the body in that posture The body demonstrates what it would be like for all judgment and preference and manipulation to drop off. The judgments and preferences and manipulation that the self-conscious subjects thinks it can come from and act out upon the world.

[14:10]

if you're in the daily life and you're trying to let the body just be the body, it's pretty hard because it's too easy to stay in the old habit. But when the body is just sitting still, the old habit becomes more and more suspect and it becomes clearer and clearer that the body and what's happening with the body is not under the control of the subject, of the self. I'm bringing this up maybe at the wrong time, but in other words, what do you do in daily life? And in some sense, daily life is outward directed, And it looks like delusion in the sense of I'm relating to people, I'm driving the car, I'm doing this and that.

[15:15]

That's why we need this arbitrary setup, this artificial setup to see the delusion of that. One time Suzuki Roshi, the founder of this temple, was being chauffeured and his chauffeur said, how come you don't drive? And he said, too dualistic for me. You know, I drive the car. So then someone says, well, what about when I'm driving the car? If you're driving the car, you're acting out delusion. But still, if you're in the car and you're at the driver's and at the steering wheel, and if the car is moving, I think you should play the game. One might wonder, is it possible to ever get to the point where you can drive the car or you can be in the driver's seat when the car is moving and have it be not that you're doing it?

[16:32]

I would say yes, but it's very advanced practice. First of all, learn to do that in a situation where you're like just sitting still on the earth. It's hard enough there. If you can learn it there, it can extend to activities which are so set up to be seen as that you're doing it. For example, the car is set up to have just one steering wheel, right? So we have what you call a designated driver. And everybody says, you're the driver, you're responsible. I can annoy you or not, but you're responsible. We don't say all of us in the car are driving the car. We don't say all the people in the other car. We don't think it's all set up to put the finger on the self. So it's a very advanced practice to drive. That's why, you know, what do you call it? It would be good to have public transportation, mostly.

[17:45]

With no driver, just run by a computer. Until we're thoroughly enlightened, I think when we get into activities where the body seems to be reacting to situations, where there seems to be picking and choosing, and the body seems to have to participate with that, it's going to be pretty hard to make that into practice. And we have to be patient with that. but let's go back now to the artificial setup to realize the entry into the Buddha way let's look at that and see what the qualities of that are someone told me about some advice that she got from an old lady and the advice was something like whatever happens

[18:54]

say, thank you very much, and I have no complaint whatsoever. And when the body's sitting, in a given moment, the body could be seen as saying, thank you very much, I have no complaint whatsoever. Even if there's somebody right nearby saying, no thank you, and I have a lot of complaints, or this body really doesn't look like it's saying thank you, or this body looks like it's complaining, even though somebody may be thinking that or saying that, the body actually looks like it's not complaining because it's just sitting there, being itself. If the body moves, then someone could say, see, it's complaining.

[19:57]

It's not saying thank you, because it moved. But anyway, after it moves, it's still again for a moment. And in its stillness, in its being where it is, it is saying, it is being, thank you very much for this, and I have no complaint. And this thank you very much, I have no complaint whatsoever is entry into the way. You don't need a brain to say thank you very much, really. I mean, I guess to say it you do, but to feel thank you very much, you don't need a brain. Well, you do need it, I guess. But anyway, it doesn't take that much intelligence to feel thankful. It doesn't take that much intelligence to not have any complaints. You don't need a self in charge to make no complaints. You don't need a self in charge to be grateful for life as it's happening.

[20:59]

When we're actually in the mode of thank you for this and I have no complaints, this judgmental mind drops off. The judge becomes one who does not judge. The judge becomes the body which does not judge the conscious self becomes in a sense artificially not conscious the body and mind are just sitting and at the same time the body and mind drop off and in this dropping off the body and mind become impartial the heart becomes unprejudiced. And there is entry into the river. It is this body, being this body, that is the entry into the river.

[22:15]

The self-conscious subject is on a break it lets the body just be what it is, at least for that moment. And being what it is, all the judgments, all the prejudices, all the preferences drop away from this body which is just being itself. And that is the mode of entry into the Buddha way. At the center, in the inner precincts of the self, There is the body. And this body is not a consciousness. But consciousness arises out of and with this body. And then consciousness can become self-conscious and a self-conscious subject and turn back in the body and forget its origins and start to become a road, a hungry road.

[23:34]

But even as the consciousness arises with the body at the center of this consciousness, and even as the consciousness develops into a self-conscious subject, at the center, inside this self-conscious subject is the body, and is the body at rest and quiet and unprejudiced. The unprejudiced body is always at the center of the hectic, anxious, power-hungry life we live. Diving into this body, we dive into the river and we are born again from the river, from all things coming forth. And we return to Buddha and we realize Buddha. through this body which is just sitting and realizing the dropping off of the self-conscious subject with all its preferences, all its prejudices, all its power trips, which all backfire on it.

[24:53]

relatively, more so sometimes than others, but even in the best, even in the most successful power move, there's anxiety. Like, what did they say? As the Roman generals were returning to Rome after conquering the world, I think they had a little assistant who sat next to them and whispered in their ear, all glory is fleeting. It was so noisy with the crowds cheering for the generals that they couldn't hear that really this little assistant is inside all the time telling you that in this greatest success it's fleeting. And what follows the greatest success could be anything.

[25:57]

This is the river. We know this. This is our home. And it keeps calling out to us and saying, This isn't really what you want, this thing you got by your own power. Of course, sometimes we don't succeed and we're not victorious, and then you may say, well, then we don't need the reminder. And in some ways, then we don't. Then we know, hmm, this isn't working. Now what would be working? Everything works in the river where everything comes forth and experiences the self, illuminates the self, verifies the self, enlightens the self, liberates the self.

[27:05]

Very nicely. No other way. Once the self is enlightened, it may be possible then to let the body move and realize that as a result of every movement, the body is there in a definite form. And in this new position, there is a new body being itself, not complaining. There is the body being itself with no alternative to being where it is. And in this body being where it is with no alternative, there is a re-entry again into the way. And then when illuminated there, there can be a new position for the body and a new re-entry.

[28:10]

But this is advanced practice. Usually when we move, it's an opportunity for the habit of the self-conscious self to come back on the job. And if that's the case, we have to just We have to say, okay. So we have a practice called confession. Before we return to Buddha, we confess that we've been out of town. We confess that we took refuge in the self-conscious self rather than in the coming forth of all things, creating the self. We confess, I've left home, I went away for, I don't know what the reason was, but anyway, I went away from this place where everything comes forth and illuminates this self. And I've been in the area where I illuminate everything and I do stuff.

[29:14]

I've been there, I confess it. Now I want to go home, please. I want to take refuge. So I do. But when I confess in a formal ceremony that I've been away, that I've committed karma, which means I have said, I have thought that I do things on the world, that I'm separate from the world, and now I act on the world. This is karma. I've been doing this from way back. I confess it. And even after I go back home, even after I realize Buddha, I will continue this practice of confession if I ever slip. But we don't say, if I ever slip, we say, I will continue this practice until I am a perfect Buddha. So you can return to Buddha and realize Buddha, but still flip back into the delusion phase. In that case, we practice confession and then again take refuge in Buddha.

[30:21]

How do we take refuge in Buddha? Through studying with the body, through studying as the body in a definite form. And, ladies and gentlemen, the body is always in a definite form. Bodies do not come in indefinite forms. The question is, is this opportunity being fully appreciated And when we put the body into a form like meditation posture, we gradually appreciate this body is in a definite form and sometimes I wish it was in some other form because this is getting uncomfortable. But it is in this form. I do see it. And preferences arise for it to be in another form, but the body is not in another form.

[31:24]

And that body, which is not in another form, is demonstrating, thank you very much, I have no complaint, and here we go into the Buddha way. And here comes the Buddha way, realizing me. Here comes all things, and I get to live in all things. So this is the dilemma for us of how much time we're going to spend setting up a situation where we can be confronted with the reality of this body sitting with all manipulation and preferences and alternatives dropping off. this body which enters the way, this chunk of raw meat, sitting where it is, standing where it is, lying down where it is, walking where it is, this body enters the way.

[32:37]

How are we going to live in such a way that we can give our life to this body which enters the way? This is a problem. Do we have to stay in the meditation retreat all the time? Well, we can't. How much time do we have to spend in that in order to initiate ourselves into the Buddha way? And many people are struggling with this. I don't spend enough time to be initiated. or I'm initiated but then I have to leave and run away from home again and go back to the mode of me acting upon the world which is delusion. So this is our dilemma of balance.

[33:42]

but one thing I can say today and this morning is that we can each of us look look around look inside and see if we want to go home to the river go back into the coming forth of all things which illuminate which give us life which realizes if we want to go back And if we want to go back, say so. And if we want to go back, say so again and again and again and again. we'll find the opportunity which is right under our nose of this body, which is where it is, and which has no alternatives to that, and which says thank you by being what it is, and says I have no complaint by being what it is.

[35:04]

And in this mode, there is constantly, there is constantly entering into the Buddha way, entering into enlightenment. It's always, not exactly right under our nose, but it's sort of under our nose, and the part under our nose is called our lip. Our lip is constantly entering the Buddha way. It never doesn't. Right where it is, being where it is, it says, thank you. It says, thank you, I have no complaint. Even when it's quivering, There's stillness between the quivers. And in that stillness, the lip enters the middle way and brings you with it if you don't resist and flex back to, I'm in charge of that lip. My lip.

[36:06]

Okay. I confess. That was delusion. I want to go back home to Buddha. using my lip and my nose and the lower lip too and the chin and the face and my whole body as it is this body being in this form I want to have it be the way it is and enter And I want to eventually have that be every moment. I want to return to Buddha. I want to return to the place where the whole world gives me life. Yeah, I do.

[37:17]

And I've heard that that's always the case, that this world is always there, and it's just a question of whether I'm with it or whether I separate myself from it and act upon it, which is a delusion. It's not really that way. There is actually the whole world coming forth and creating a person who thinks they're coming at the world. That too is created in the river. The road is created in the river. But then the road forget that it was born of the river and it's hungry. Remembering where we're born, we return. We're born from the coming forth of all things. Remembering that is called waking up. Being in that is called waking up from the delusion that we're outside acting upon the world.

[38:28]

So, Erwan, I don't know if I answered your question, did I? Huh? Huh? It's mostly confession. Mostly when you're acting in the world, you're mostly confessing. You're confessing, I'm not enlightened enough yet to drive this car without me acting on the car. If I have a chauffeur, I can move over to the... to the passenger seat and practice non-dualistically. But I don't know how to drive the car responsibly. I can't stay in the realization of the car and the road and the laws coming forward and realizing me can still do the job of driving the car. I can't do that yet. So I confess I have shifted back into the mode of the self-conscious self acting upon the world.

[39:37]

I confess that. But I want to return to this true nature of awakening to the way things actually are. But right now, I have to admit I'm not there. And I notice also that I'm anxious in this mode. And I notice a yearning to return. And maybe I will just pull over for a second and take a little meditation break. It's a traffic jam anyway. And if we thoroughly confess that we're separating ourselves from what's happening in that thorough confession with no complaining about that we're in this mode, there is again settling and dropping off.

[40:40]

But we oftentimes don't even dare to thoroughly confess our delusion in the process. We think that's dangerous even. And it's a matter of confidence that you can confess your delusion and re-enter enlightenment and that the world will not turn into a traffic accident. But if you can't even do it when you're sitting still, don't try to do it when you're driving a car. But confession while driving the car, I think maybe you can do that before being completely enlightened. There is a difference between enlightenment and delusion. There's a difference between everything coming forth and realizing your life and confirming your life and you and me going around realizing and confirming everything.

[41:52]

There's a difference. What's the difference? The difference is that when you try to hold on to the world where everything's coming forth and realizing you, you lose it. And when you fight the world where everything's coming forth and attacking you, excuse me, when you fight that world or whether you fight the world where you're acting upon things and you're anxious, if you fight that world, it gets stronger. So don't fight, don't try to have an alternative to the world where you think you have an alternative. That makes the world of delusion grow stronger. To be embarrassed about and try to avoid being deluded makes the delusion stronger. To confess the delusion leaves it in its present state of delusion, which is its present state of delusion, which is the way it is.

[43:06]

On the other hand, if you realize awakening, the way all things are coming forth and confirming you and you attach to it, you switch to the mode of delusion and you lose enlightenment. Do you notice that there's a place where the flowers don't fall and the weed don't grow? Do you notice there's a place where enlightenment doesn't drop away, get lost, and where the delusion doesn't get intensified? Did you see the place where the response is the same? If there's enlightenment, there's the body sitting, saying, demonstrating, thank you very much, I have no complaint. Then the flower of enlightenment continues to blossom. You see that? And when there's delusion, and the body's sitting, demonstrating, thank you very much, I have no complaint, the delusion doesn't flare up.

[44:19]

It just is delusion. You see? No? Should I do it again? If there's enlightenment, if you're in the world where all things are coming forward and confirming you, And then you switch modes and try to get a hold of the world of enlightenment, the world of awakening, where all things come forward and confirm you. If you try to get that, you lose it. Okay? We say flowers fall when you attach to them. The nature of enlightenment is that when you attach to it, you lose it. All right? attached to delusion, you don't lose it. That's the nice thing about delusion. As a matter of fact, when you're attached to delusion, it flares up and gets stronger. It says, thank you very much, you have made a contribution.

[45:24]

And we're a rupture in delusion now that you've tried to hold on to it. Or, if you try to get rid of it, it also flares up. Trying to get rid of it or trying to hold on to it, delusion grows. trying to get rid of it or trying to hold on to enlightenment, it grows. Okay, is that clear? What? Trying to hold on to enlightenment, you lose it. Does that make sense? What'd I say? Okay. Yeah, okay. Trying to hold on to... Trying to hold on to or get rid of a delusion, delusion grows. Trying to hold on to enlightenment or get rid of enlightenment, you lose it. Sorry.

[46:31]

But you see, all things came forward and illuminated me. This is enlightenment, right here. You see it? You see it, but don't try to get a hold of it. It was right here. Did you see it? That was enlightenment. I learned what was going on, didn't I? By the aid of all you. Now is it clear? Attached to enlightenment, fight enlightenment, it grows. You understand. You can't put anything over. Not now. Before I could have. At the beginning I could have said, attached to it, you know, make it grow. People say, yeah. Attached to Buddha, that makes Buddha stronger. Right? No.

[47:31]

You attach to Buddha, you lose Buddha. You fight Buddha, you lose Buddha. You attach to delusion, you fight delusion, and you get more delusion. Okay, that's the principle. So, what's the similarity there? How about you don't attach to Buddha, you don't fight Buddha, and then Buddha blossoms. Okay, how about you don't attach to delusion, you don't fight delusion, and delusion doesn't grow. It stays in its present condition. You might say, well, I don't like that part. I like the other part, but... But the key I'm trying to point to is that what is the way of responding to both situations the same? I just said it. Whether it is enlightenment or delusion, either one, the same practice. Namely, don't fight it, don't attach to it.

[48:35]

Which means, thank you very much, I don't want more or less enlightenment. thank you very much. I don't want more or less delusion. Same practice. This is the practice we call the body. That's the way the body is. When you're deluded, the body's like this. When you're enlightened, the body's like this. When you're like the body, you enter the way which is enlightenment and delusion doesn't make any difference. You have no preference. You do not prefer enlightenment over delusion or vice versa. In that case, Enlightenment's enlightenment, delusion's delusion, and they actually, they can both be there. And the practice is the same, no matter what's happening. And enlightenment blossoms, and delusion's just delusion. That's all it is. You're not flaring it up, you're not promoting it, you're not killing it.

[49:37]

But enlightenment's right there. And the way you live with enlightenment is the same way you live with delusion. So you're living with enlightenment and delusion at the same time with no preference. This is the Buddha way. To live with enlightenment and delusion and have a preference is not the Buddha way. The body lives with enlightenment and delusion and it has no preference. It says, thank you very much. Thank you very much for delusion? Yes. I have no complaint? Yes. Thank you very much for enlightenment. I have no complaint? That's right. The same practice we call just sitting Buddha. Body and mind dropped off. In other words, the preferences for Buddha over delusion have dropped off. So enlightenment has always been enlightenment and delusion has always been in delusion. the way they've always been, they'll always be that way.

[50:39]

Delusion will be delusion, enlightenment will be enlightenment. What's the practice which realizes enlightenment? It's the practice of not preferring enlightenment over delusion. Not preferring the river over the road. That's the practice which enters the river and realizes the river with a road on top. But down in the river we don't say, oh, got rid of that road, it's still up there. If you prefer the road or prefer enlightenment, the road takes over. If you don't prefer the road or the river, the river is realized. It's alive. It's alive and you get to be born there in the water of the river.

[51:41]

Suddenly, a mighty mass emerged from the water and shot perpendicularly into the air. It was a whale. Or maybe just a little minnow. I want to go back to the river, but I don't prefer the river. That's a tricky one. I just want to go back because it's calling me home. Come on home, Rebbe. Come on back to the river. Okay, I want to go. But if I can't get there today, I ain't going to prefer getting back home. I'll just sit up here on the road crying with the rest of them.

[52:46]

Where's the river? I'm sitting on the road saying thank you very much. In other words, I'm a Zen student. I'm hungry, and I say thank you very much. I'm hungry. Thank you very much for being hungry. I have no complaints. These tears are not tears of complaint. They are tears of delusion. But I do not try to get rid of these tears. I do the same practice I would do if I'm in the river. You can cry in the river too. It's all water. You know, I was born in Mississippi. Huh?

[53:53]

I wasn't born in the river. I mean, I was born in a river. a tight river, but I was born in the state of Mississippi, which is at the bottom of the big river. And I was born in a town in the state of Mississippi called Water Valley. And then my mother took me to the top of the Mississippi to grow up, where they had more dairy products. And that state is called, is also named after water. It's called Minnesota, which means, mini means lake in Chippewa. And sota means land, the land of lakes. And I grew up in a city of lakes called Minneapolis.

[54:57]

And I played in the lakes And I played in a stream. I played in a stream with Daigan called Minnehaha, which means laughing water. Minnehaha Kreet. So I want to go home to the water. I want to go home to the river. But as a then-student, I do not prefer the water over the road. That's my sitting practice. If I'm sitting on the road, I'm sitting on the road and I'm hungry. If I'm in the water, I'm sitting in the water and I'm satisfied. Everything that comes is the most delicious meal. I'm not hungry anymore. Yeah? And there's a river under the zendo. And in the winter when the river's flowing heavily, if you want to ride through it,

[56:01]

We can show you where to enter. I'm very happy. I think you understand. That's great. So we don't have question and answer on these days when we have sashim. So if we did have question and answer, then I think it would go on a long time. Because as I mentioned yesterday, although your question may be short, the answer might be long. So with such a big group, there might be like 50 questions. So that would be like about 25 hours. So we don't have question and answer today. But if my help continues, I'm happy to be here to answer your questions about entering the way through the practice of the body.

[57:04]

I'll be continuing to try to practice and to discuss with you how that practice goes if you want to talk about it later during the rest of your life. Okay? I'm sorry that we don't have time. We can't reconvene for the question and answer. But I have a song, and you can probably guess what that song is. Yeah, close, yeah. Okay, so here it goes, something like this. Old man river, that old man river, he must know something, but don't say nothing. He just keeps railing, he keeps on railing along. He don't plant taters, he don't plant coffee, and them that plant them is too forgotten.

[58:18]

That old man river, he just keeps rolling along. You and me, we're proud and strange, but we all make an end up with pain. Hope that vibes lift that bill, give it a little drop, and you'll end the dream. I get weary and sick of trying. I'm tired of living and scared of dying. But in my river, it just keeps rolling along.

[59:23]

Thank you.

[59:47]

@Transcribed_UNK
@Text_v005
@Score_95.57