I take refuge in Buddha. I take refuge in the constant change of this world wherein peace and skillful means are born. May we enter this muddy water of change and pain and freedom and exist with purity like a lotus. as we bow to Buddha. One day a Zen monk entered the hall and sat in the seat and asked the assembly if they had any resistance to using the traditional heating bowls quietly.

[02:00]

One yogini said, give me a different set of bowls made of lacquer and wood, and you use ceramic ones with metal spoons, and I'll sit by you. Priest said, I won't give you lacquer bowls unless you shave your head, but I will use ceramic bowl myself. And he did. At the next meal, it was quiet in the hall. And the priest was deeply touched by the monk's sincerity and told him so.

[03:16]

Later, one of the monks came into the priest's room and told him that he felt that bringing up the question was a bullying act. The priest said, maybe so. I'm a bull. What do you expect? The question is, do you love the bull or not? And if you don't, or if you do, what are you going to do? going to fight it or run away, or maybe neither. One of the labors of psyche, one of the labors of mind, of the soul, to achieve reunion with love, was that she was supposed to go

[04:40]

to a meadow where there were some testosterone-poisoned rams. And she was supposed to go collect... These happened to be golden rams. She was supposed to collect golden fleece off these guys. So she was heading up there, but on the way, she walked through some reeds and the reeds said, Don't go to those rams at high noon. Wait until sunset. And even then, don't go up to them. Go around the edge of the field and collect the golden fleece from the brambles. If you go at them straight on, they'll just butt you. Touching those rams is a mistake, but if you don't go get the fleece,

[05:44]

There will be no reunion for you. But there's many ways to collect the fleece. Gotta be flexible. Listen to the reeds. They may have a hint for you. Anyway, whether you're a bull or a ram, or a sheep or a cow, whether you're a doe or a stag or a bambi or a bambino, no matter what, people are going to tell you that you can't be the way you are. If you smile, they'll tell you not to smile. If you frown, they'll tell you not to frown. Once in a while, when you're frowning, they'll say, nice frown, keep it up.

[06:50]

Once in a while when you're smiling, you say, oh, what a lovely smile. Particularly, they'll say, what a lovely smile if you've been frowning for two or three years. Oh, what a lovely smile. But if you're smiling all the time and you frown, they'll say, oh, what a relief. Anyway, through the kindness of all of you and through the aid of various forms of cotton, which I've wedged into my, behind my knee, my knee's feeling much better. I recommend that exercise. It's really working. People are really kind to us. And it's because of their kindness that we're here in such good health. However, one of the forms of kindness that people bestow upon us is they tell us we can't be like we are.

[07:59]

They call us all kinds of names. And so we think, well, maybe I shouldn't be like this. And so we try to be other ways. Doesn't work, though. Because we cannot be any other way. Never could, never will be able to. But still they say, I don't like this, be another way. And if you keep this up, I'm going to split. I'm going to bid you adieu. Bye-bye. I'm going to go find somebody who's the way I want him to be. So then at that point, you're tempted, well, geez, maybe I should be another way. And we try. And after many years like that, pretty much everything we try, we internalize this. And then even when nobody's around, we sit there on our Zafa and we say, this is no good.

[09:06]

I don't like this. No, let's have another way. Oh, please give me another way. Make me a Buddha. But of course, it's nothing sadder than the fact of a person who doesn't dare be herself, who's afraid of what people will say or do to her, and basically afraid that people will stop loving her if she shows who she really is.

[10:31]

or anyway shows anything If you ride behind a horse, or perhaps even walk behind a horse, sometimes they would lift their tail up and extrude large quantities of smelly stuff, which comes out and plops on the ground in front of you.

[12:08]

But I've never seen him turn around and say, excuse me? Maybe they can be taught to do that, but I've never seen one. Dogs can be taught to do that. When they do it, they sometimes look over their shoulder and look really ashamed sometimes. Sorry, couldn't help it. As you may know, little children, when they first do that, oftentimes They turn around, pick it up, and say, see what I made? They're really proud of it the first time. They kind of notice what they produced, and it's like a production. They do it for a long time without noticing that they've made these things, but at a certain point they realize, hey, I made this. And then they sometimes, like I did, use it to paint walls.

[13:12]

You know, to show their mom and dad what they can do with their new paint set. And there's various reactions that parents have to that. Some parents are too much like, oh, that's really a lousy painting job. And the child's artistic impulses are formed by that. Like they might say, well, I'm definitely going to be an artist then. And other kids get too much praise. The parents say, oh, that was really beautiful. They go off. It's hard to give them just the right response, you know. It's hard for me to ask you on a scale from one to ten.

[14:50]

Do you feel allowed to be yourself? Do you allow yourself to be yourself? Do you feel like other people would allow you to be yourself? What is yourself anyway? Last night during our evening sitting, some of us enjoyed in various ways the sounds of one of our members, and I know who he is, who said in his room during his break, oh, what a long day. I want to go home. Did you hear that, Michael? And then he went, oh. This guy was enjoying his break.

[15:58]

Oh. [...] I just want to say about this guy, this guy wins the prize that says she for getting my jokes. Except didn't get this one. I don't think I should publicly, you know, point him out. Do you? Or should I? What? Anyway, he was on his break. He wasn't, you know. And I was listening to see, as the period ended, whether the sound would stop. And, you know, whether it would quiet and I would hear his little feet pattering up towards his end, though. He did come. When his break was over, he did resume the schedule. Or he actually was following the schedule even then. I imagine that his roommate was not in the room But then I was thinking, you know, I was thinking, now, do we let this guy make that sound?

[17:03]

Or do we send somebody down there to tell him to shut up? He's, you know, we didn't say in the rule of admonitions, we didn't say, during your breaks, don't say, oh, what a long day, you know, I want to go home. With nobody else in the room, right? Thank you. We'll see what he says tonight during his break. He's kind of a serenoid. From a certain point of view, he's kind of a serenade. Could the people in the back of the Zendo hear this guy? He could? Oh, everybody could hear him. So, turn in tonight, 7.30. Radio KOAN. and see what he says. But, you know, I was wondering, you know, will we let this guy, will I let this guy keep this up?

[18:13]

How much space should we give him? But even if we do go down and tell him to please be quiet or tell him that we can hear him and we want to know if does he really want to tell us this, or whatever way we put it, you know, He has to decide for himself whether he's going to keep singing, whether it's good or not to keep expressing his sigh. When we're little, you know, it's a matter of life and death, it seems. We think when mom leaves the room, it's all over. And if she doesn't love us, she might not come back. So we better make sure she loves us, or at least scream loud enough so she can't stand the noise. But we're big kids now. And actually, people will feed us, I think, as long as we need food. Of course, if we get too violent, they'll put us in jail.

[19:18]

But I don't think usually we're talking about that kind of thing. We're just talking about talk, mostly. I'm not talking about hitting somebody. I'm just talking about, you know, the look on your face or the words in your mouth. And not even like harmful words, just, you know, words about who you are and how you feel. Anyway, again, really we have no choice. We are who we are. Why don't we carefully, gently let it out? Because we can't hide it anyway. I encourage it. Even though I'm afraid of what will happen if I think of the future.

[20:27]

So I encourage it from the present. And I don't think about, well, what would happen if they do? I stay in the present and hold on to my zafu and just say, please express yourself. And I don't think that you should expect not to get feedback. I think feedback is good. Maybe the first thing you should say is, before I say anything else, I want feedback. And then say what you have to say. if you do want feedback. Maybe the first few times you express yourself, you don't want it. Maybe you say, I just want to express myself and have you guys listen. I don't want any feedback because I don't feel safe yet. Let me do a few times just expressing myself, and you just sit there and listen quietly, okay? And when I know that you can do that, then I would like a few rounds with feedback. The advantage of talking to people and getting it out in that way is that we do the same thing when no one else is around, but we don't notice it, or we may not notice it.

[21:54]

So doing it out loud is helpful to notice how we do it in silence. Most of the Zen stories are about this kind of like thing of the two people expressing themselves to each other. And the stories do seem to sometimes have an element of I'm leaving in them. but it's not always the way it appears. Anyway, yesterday I felt that

[23:10]

I entered the mud with you and I don't know if a lotus was planted or if a lotus germinated or if a lotus blossomed. I think maybe it did, but I'm not sure. It's not only for me to see it. Again I want to bring up this situation of existing in muddy water with purity.

[24:48]

And we have this, what do you call it, this myth of Odysseus. At one point in the story, he's going across water in a boat. He comes through this narrow place, and on one side of the straits, there's Skyla, is it? And on the other side, Charybdis. Is that how you pronounce it? Skyla and Charybdis? They're both monsters anyway, very colorful, devouring monsters. And they don't just sit in their stations, they can lash out at some distance with various deadly implements. And the water is rough and it's difficult to negotiate without veering off towards one of these monsters.

[25:51]

Part of the issue of being pure in this world is like that, is you have to try to figure out how to not veer off towards the extreme possibilities in a moment. One extreme is avoid the mud. The other extreme is indulge in the mud. One extreme is, I'll do it myself. I'll practice on my own. The other is, I'll get somebody else to do it for me. When you take refuge in Buddha, when you say you want to go back to your true home, you may think that your true home where the Buddha is going to

[27:00]

going to take care of you. And that's right. But there's a slight difference between somebody taking care of you and somebody doing your job for you. At a certain point, our parents take care of us by changing our diapers. And we can't change them ourself. It's not our job to change the diapers before we have certain skills. They're not doing our job for us. they're doing their job for themselves. And for us to try to change the diapers would be to try to do their job. They're taking care of us by doing their job, which is called changing diapers. But at a certain age, they take care of us by not changing our diapers. They take care of us by saying, I'm not going to tie your shoes anymore that's how they take care of us and Buddha takes care of us not by doing practice for us Buddha takes care of us when we do our own practice but again we don't do it all on our own power that's not what practice is we do it with everybody's help and everybody's help is

[28:30]

that everybody's saying, please, take care of yourself. We can't do it. You have to. You're suffering. You're confused. You're angry. You're lustful. Please, we need you to take care of yourself under the circumstances. And they're rooting for us. And they say they love us. And they want us to be successful. They really do. But they can't do it for us. But it's tricky to ask for help. And the help we're asking for is for Buddha to say, well, okay, do it. Buddha says, I love you dearly, but you've got to do it. You have to be completely pure Here's my feeling, okay?

[29:39]

When you're serving, generally speaking, well, first of all, I want to say I really appreciate the fact that the service in this session and many others, generally speaking, are very kind. And sometimes the kindness, the way you express your kindness is by bending your back when you serve. It's nice of you to try to bend over, but it's not good for your back, I don't think, really. It's not good for your back. I don't want you to do that for me. I'd like you to stand up straight in good posture. Now, if you're really tall like Steven, that means I have to reach up. But I can reach up that high, and if you can't reach Steven, then ask him to kneel. Then he can reach up to you. But this bending over the back is not good for your back. So please, when you serve, stand up straight. Enjoy your posture, just like Kiheen.

[30:40]

Stand up like a mountain and hold the thing out. This is basically, you know, for things that you're holding, like salads or something. And serve us, and we'll reach to you. You're already helping us enough. You don't have to bend your back. Now, if somebody has a different opinion about it, please, here's your chance. Speak now or forever be silent. Yes? Well, is it keeping your back straight? Well, that's all I care. Just keep your back straight. If you like to bend your knees, that's cute. Do a little curtsy. Anyway, I'm talking about just simply keep your back straight. Be upright. Don't feel like you have to bend your back for our sake, okay? We don't need that. It may be, you know, the feeling is to bring the bowl just to the right level, right? Which is very nice, but we can adapt.

[31:42]

We have some range here. And bending your knees and keeping your back straight, that's fine. It's just bending over this thing. And then also, not to mention that your beard might get in the food. Or, you know, various other things might fall in the food, and your rock suit might fall in the food and stuff like that. So it's better to keep upright, actually. I feel. That's my value. But this is just my value and if you don't agree, let's hear it. And the other way is you can kneel and keep your back straight when you're kneeling too and then just serve up to the person. But the important thing is keep your back straight. You're doing enough for us already. You don't have to hurt your spine in the process too. Also, Jerry feels funny. So, work it out with him, okay?

[32:43]

Right. But people aren't doing it that way, usually. I see his back all curved over. What I see is curved backs. And also, it seems like the reason they're doing it is because not because they're intentionally doing it, but because they're trying to bring the bowl down lower. That seems to be the point. They're going like this to bring it down closer. But you can do that in other ways, but also we can reach up to you. Anyway, if somebody wants to give a course on how to bend the back, that's fine, but I don't... I usually see these people all bent over with their head down in the... down like that. It looks like it's uncomfortable. It wouldn't be for me. Yes. Yes. Well, also you can bend over without curving your back, I think. Either you can kneel.

[33:57]

Or you can, as Kay said, bend and keep your lower back straight when you bend. Anyway, please... I'm not asking you to do this as a favor to me, okay? You can do whatever you want, but I'd like you to know that I personally would like you to stand up straight and you don't have to bend over for me. I don't think anybody else really needs you to bend your back over in these humped kind of postures that you sometimes put yourself in in order to serve. But if that's what you want to do, this is actually a free country. It really is a free country. And as a matter of fact, all countries are free. However, what they do to you when you do certain things, that's another matter. But it is free. You can do whatever you think. There's a price to pay, but

[34:59]

I see this other thing, these other two extremes. One is depending on the teachings, depending on the old stories, and being different from them. being at variance with them. Those are two monsters also that we have to watch out for and try to escape between, sail between. Part of me wants to bring up old stories now. The part of me doesn't want to rely on them. So I'm sort of on that edge there. And what I feel best about asking is, how do you meet yourself?

[38:02]

Do you have yourself in view? Are you taking care of it? Taking care of him? Taking care of her? And then, can you bring this person into relationship with others and can you, do you apply the way you care for yourself? Do you see how that you use the same method in taking care of others? Or taking care of your relationship with others? Is there something about

[39:12]

myself that I have trouble taking care of and then I have trouble taking care of that in others? Is there something in myself that I indulge in and that I indulge that in others or I can't stand to see others indulge it? But it's a reflection either a mirror image or the same thing that I do with myself. Can you see that? I guess it starts with, are you, am I aware of how I care for myself? Do I see myself? Am I in touch with myself? I've been taking care of my knee this session by putting this wedge in there so I feel okay about other people taking care of their knees.

[40:15]

I did not take care of my knees, so I hope other people don't deprive themselves of caring for their knees. I gave myself the luxury of taking that extra time. So one time a Zen master came to see a Zen master.

[41:36]

And one's name was Fayan, which means Dharma Eye. The other one's name was Shushan, kind of like shoeshine, which means Lord of the Mountain or Lordly Mountain So Lordly Mountain said to Dharmai, a hair's breadth difference is like the difference between heaven and earth. How do you understand this?

[42:42]

Dharma eyes. And Dharma eyes said, a hair's breadth difference is like the distance between heaven and earth. Except reverse the story. I said it the wrong way. Dharma I asked Lord Lee Mountain that question. Dharma I said, a hair's breadth difference is like the distance between heaven and earth. How do you understand that? And then Shushan said, a hair's breadth difference is like the distance between heaven and earth. And then Dharmaya said, that's very good, but how can you get it that way?

[43:57]

And Shushan said, Lordly Mountain said, I am just thus. How are you, master? And Dharmai said, a hair's breadth difference is like the distance between heaven and earth. Shushan bowed deeply. They say that dharma eyes unlocked the chains of Sushant's consciousness in that dialogue.

[45:14]

One said something and asked how he understood it. The other one said the same thing. And then the first one said, that's good. And it was good. But if you say the same thing back to me, how can you get it that way? If you just reflect back with the person saying, how can you get it? And he said, I am just thus. How about you? And then he said it again the same way. What was the difference? This kind of interaction became kind of like a hallmark of the school of Dharma Eye. It's called an AeroPoints meeting. And this attunement became the opportunity, one of the main techniques for enlightening disciples in that school.

[46:42]

Subtle variations in attunement between the self and the self. between the self and the other. I did an exercise with somebody at Tassajara where first she led me with her eyes open and I had my eyes shut. point me at certain things, and I would feel them with my eyes shut. It was interesting. Kind of enjoyable. I felt cared for by her. But I enjoyed more leaning her. And at one point, I guided her hands to a cliffside, and I watched her blind fingers

[48:02]

touching the dirt. And I felt that her hands were touching the dirt better than my own could. Watching her blindly feel the earth, I felt that she was touching it for me better in a more deep way than I could touch it myself. It deeply touched my heart to see her fingers moving over the earth because they were really mine. They were better than mine. Usually I put my hands on things and I touch the earth, I say, oh, this is the earth. But this is just my idea. But her hands touching the earth is not my idea, but really, that's really what the earth is.

[49:08]

there was another monk in Dharma Eye's group. He was called Superintendent Tzu. He became a Zen master. At that time, he was the director of the temple. And Fa Yan once said to him, Director Tzu, how come you never come into my room and talk to me? And Superintendent Suh said, well, didn't you know, Master, that I already attained awakening with that other Zen teacher, so and so? There's two different versions of this story, two different names. of who the Zen teacher was that he attained his initial awakening with. So that's why he didn't come in to see Dharma eyes, because he already was awake.

[50:36]

And Dharma eyes said, well, that's good. But I'm a little worried that maybe you don't understand. So would you please tell me what happened there when you had that awakening experience with Zen Master X? And Tsu said, okay. Well, I went in and I said, what is the student's self? And that Zen teacher said, the fire god comes seeking fire. And Dharmai said, that's good, but I'm still worried. I'm not sure you understood that. And Director Tsu said, well, what it means is that it's like seeking the self with the self, or it's like Buddha seeking Buddha.

[51:48]

I say, what's the student's self? And the teacher says, it's like the self seeking the self, or it's like Buddha seeking Buddha. And then Fa Yen said, oh, yeah, well, that's just what I thought. I didn't think you understood. It's too bad. Glad I checked. The director contained his anger and left without punching out Dharma's eyes. And he crossed the river near the temple and was walking up the road. Adieu to you, Dharma eyes. See you later. You don't understand how enlightened I really am. Anyway, bye-bye. After he left, Dharmai said, If that monk comes back, he can be saved.

[53:08]

If he doesn't, he cannot be saved. Just then, The thought occurred to Director Tsu. This guy is a teacher of so many fine monks. Maybe he had a point there. Maybe I should go back and talk to him a little bit more. So he went back. And he said, well, I'm back. And Dharmai said, good. Now you ask me what you asked that other Zen teacher.

[54:15]

And Director Tsu said, what is the student's self? And Dharma said, the fire god comes seeking fire. And the director woke up and became a Zen master. And his name is Zen master Shren Tzu. What was the difference between the first time and the second time? How did those guys get lined up? It was rough going there for a while. It looked like it was going to be a sad ending. But they worked it out. It got pretty muddy, pretty scary. There was anger. There was separation.

[55:18]

There were statements on the right and statements on the left. There were hopes and fears. And finally there was accord. In my hand? Do you see my hand? Is this hand working for you? Did you wake up?

[57:01]

I'll try again. How many people know the story of text, the whooping grain? One? Cover your ears. You know about cranes? They're big birds. And they're endangered all over the world because they have, you know, they're big birds and they have a big playground. Like, they range over thousands and thousands of miles. And if one part of their habitat's disturbed, it kind of screws them up. You know? Like if you wreck their winter playground, or you wreck their summer playground, either way, not to mention if you shoot them, it's not good for them.

[58:14]

So anyway, these wonderful, big, beautiful birds are endangered. And in the United States, we only have, I think, two or three varieties of cranes. Siberia has five, I think. But in the United States, there was a whooping crane that was born in a zoo. I don't remember what town, maybe Austin, Texas. And it was named Tex, a female. And cranes, like a lot of birds, imprint. So like the first, whenever they see something at a certain age, that's it. So unfortunately or fortunately, this female crane, at the time of imprinting, saw her male keeper. So she was into homo sapien men from then on.

[59:17]

And they tried to get her to mate. When she became mature, they tried to get her to mate with male whooping cranes. But she was not interested. She only liked human males. And they weren't interested in her, so it was a sad kind of thing in a way. So finally they found a human male that was interested in her, and he lived in Wisconsin. So they packed her up, and she took the train up to Wisconsin. Now this guy, he just loved whooping cranes. He thought it was very important that there be some whooping cranes in the world. And so he was doing a whooping crane breeding experiment. So if there's any whooping cranes that were having trouble reproducing, he was trying to help them reproduce.

[60:20]

Now the thing about whooping cranes, which is similar to Zen students, The thing about them is that in order to become fertile, you have to do a mating dance with them. And so when the female sees the male do a certain kind of a dance, She stands up and the egg descends from the ovary down into the whatever it's called in the female whooping crane. Anyway, the egg comes out of the hiding place, the resting place, and comes into action when she sees this male do this dance. You look worried, Kathy.

[61:26]

So anyway, this guy studied male whooping cream dancing patterns. He took a male whooping crane dancing course and he got feathers and stuff, he got crane wings and stuff. And in this recent issue of the National Geographic, there is a picture of somebody in Siberia doing this dance. of a human doing this dance for the cranes. And anyway, so he got dressed up like a crane, right? And human males are about the same size as full-grown crane. Cranes get to be, you know, almost five feet tall. So if you hunch over a little bit and wave your wings, you look pretty much like it. So he did this dance and it worked. You know, she, she got up, she got up and the egg descended.

[62:36]

And then at that time, as part of the dance, she was inseminated with a male whooping crane sperm. And, um, uh, it worked, you know, the egg was fertilized. And since whooping creams are big, it takes a long time. There's a gestation period of quite a while. But anyway, the egg was delivered, and unfortunately, I think the first time they did it, the shell was too thin or something, so it didn't work. And these, the female whooping cranes, they come in, they have a kind of heat, unlike some birds, they have a heat or a time of year, and they only do it once a year. I guess a lot of birds do it just once a year. Anyway, so that was it for that year. The egg was fertilized, but then when the shell was formed around it, it wasn't strong enough to carry the,

[63:44]

the baby to turn. So he did it again the next year. Did the dance and had her inseminated and so on. And again, the fertilization process occurred. They came down and everything. But again, there was some problem. I forgot the problem. I... I don't know where the article is anymore, but anyway. And then he did it another year. He worked for three years, and the third year also there was some problem and the baby couldn't be hatched. And then the fourth year he had some other kinds of responsibilities and he couldn't do the thing with her again that year, so he skipped a year. And then the fourth time, or the fifth year, he decided to give more attention to the situation, to give himself completely to this.

[64:58]

Part of what seemed to have gone wrong was that she seemed to be somewhat nervous during the process. She was a single parent, and you know how hard that is. So he tried to give her more support and have it be a, you know, because cranes make, you know, they do, the male does hang around during that time and help the female. He goes out and she sits on a nest and he goes out and gets stuff and brings it to her and stuff like that. So he actually moved in with her. He made a little living area which worked for her and worked for him and he You know, he slept with her. And he had his typewriter and stuff, so he typed during the day and stuff like that. Working on his reports and writing about, you know, what he was doing with her. And she rested a lot. And he went out and got her food and brought it to her. But he was with her all the time. And she was much less worried and nervous to have her mate there with her all the time.

[66:04]

Because for her, he was her mate. The fact that the sperm came from some other guy wasn't the issue for her. And so this time, It worked. You know, she was able to take better care of the egg and it held together and hatched and the baby came out and it was okay and it worked. It's also called, you know, a meeting. But it's, you know, as you see, it was tough. It took all those years and... It's been eight years. Well, it's my fault. Who made that loud noise? Can you recognize that call? Was that a vulture?

[67:05]

That was a 10-year call? Well, anyway, as you see, it was the fault of the male, right? He didn't give enough attention. So it's always the teacher's fault. The customer's always right. So students have to make teachers... students make the teachers, right? Students have to teach the teachers what to do by not bringing the egg to term or whatever you want to put it. And teachers have to keep trying until it's successful and not be in a hurry

[68:12]

for the process to go faster than it's going. And it's painful for both sides to lose these babies and do all this work. It's tough. Well, You don't need to know when it's successful. Until it's successful, you need to know. After that, you don't need to know. Can you imagine such a state? Anyway, it's beyond judgment of, like, this is or is not defiled.

[69:17]

But sometimes, I guess, when the lotus is blooming, it is blooming. And finally we don't have to know whether it's a lotus or not a lotus. People say many things, but anyway. The opportunity for this to happen is pretty clear, though. The opportunity presents itself now, no other time.

[70:26]

So in order to, in order to witness what's happening. We have to be there to be here for it. And so I think each of us is doing our best this week to be present for what's happening. But even though we're doing our best, there may be a hair's breadth of overshooting or undershooting. We may be a little bit into the future or a little bit into the past. past it's yourself and the future it's yourself.

[71:55]

What's the difference between the past and the future? How far apart are the past and the future? Yourself. Myself, yourself. If I'm hard-hearted to anyone, I'm hard-hearted to myself.

[73:17]

If I'm hard-hearted to myself, I can't be myself. If I'm hard-hearted to myself, I can't take care of myself. And if I can't take care of myself, I can't forgive myself. And if I can't forgive myself, I can't be enlightened by everything. Come and sit by my side if you love me. Do not hasten to bid me adieu. But remember the Red River Valley and the cowboy who loves you so true.

[74:19]

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