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Meeting Each Moment Fully Alive

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RA-01292

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The talk explores the concept of pure presence, emphasizing the teachings of Shakyamuni Buddha on entering states of consciousness beyond mundane experiences. It discusses the five aggregates of existence and the nature of suffering through attachment and grasping. The core practice recommended is cultivating presence without identification or desire, as this leads to liberation. The talk addresses the importance of the middle way, dependent co-arising, and how true presence is meeting each moment with acceptance rather than manipulation. The speaker reflects on personal experiences of pain, demonstrating how embracing presence can transform suffering.

Referenced Works:
- Avatamsaka Sutra: The perfection of wisdom is equated with the teaching of presence in this text, highlighting a state of equanimity and non-discrimination as crucial for achieving enlightenment.
- Teachings of Shakyamuni Buddha: The talk delves into the Buddha's insights on the five aggregates and dependent co-arising, foundational concepts for understanding impermanence and the cessation of suffering.

Referenced Authors:
- T.S. Eliot: His poetry is cited to illustrate the idea of presence as being at home within oneself, with every word and action fitting naturally and authentically.
- Nagarjuna: Although not deeply elaborated within this session, his teachings on the doctrine of the middle way and dependent origination resonate with the themes discussed.

This summary distills the essential teachings and textual references, offering a focused point of study for those interested in the application of Zen principles to the understanding of self and consciousness.

AI Suggested Title: Meeting Each Moment Fully Alive

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Speaker: Tenshin Reb Anderson
Possible Title: 5-Day Sesshin DT#3
Additional text: MASTER

Speaker: Tenshin Reb Anderson
Possible Title: 5-Day Sesshin DT#3
Additional text: Practices after pressure on knees and focus. MASTER

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Transcript: 

Homage to Shakyamuni Buddha and homage to Manjushri Bodhisattva. Shakyamuni Buddha was a great yogi and was able to enter into states of meditation in which there was a predominance of the feeling of rapture and bliss. He could easily enter into states like that, and he also could enter into higher states where there was even equanimity with regard to bliss. He could enter into higher states than that too, where there was just vast, vast spaciousness into states where the whole processes of perception and feeling were almost attenuated, or they were attenuated, almost ended.

[01:12]

And some people who were able to enter these high yogic states, which are considered to be the highest possible mundane experiences, some people misunderstood them as liberation itself. However, the awakened ones, when they're in those states, still realize that these states are due to conditions, will end, are dependent on other things, lack inherent existence, and are not liberation. So even though he attained these states, he was still not satisfied that he had accomplished the liberation which he sought. He continued to use the practice of concentration which he had employed to attain these very high mundane states.

[02:30]

And he turned his attention to various meditation objects when he was very concentrated and bright and flexible and alert. One of the things he did in the night of his enlightenment was he turned his attention towards his past lives, reviewed them all, And when he looked over them, in every single one of them, what he saw was basically the same.

[03:47]

He saw five aggregates of existence. He saw form, feelings, perceptions. various kinds of formations and consciousness. In every life there was these five manifesting in ever-changing ways The Buddha said that, generally speaking, in the world of suffering, there is approach, grasping, inclinations and dispositions.

[05:11]

In the creation of the world of suffering, there is an approach, a grasping, an inclination in that grasping, dispositions for how we grasp. Approaching things, grasping them in these established habitual, entrenched patterns creates a world which rises up and goes away. And creating the world in this way, we suffer. When it goes away, we feel grief, sorrow, lamentation, suffering, despair and so on.

[06:15]

However, for one who does not approach, grasp, incline, have inclinations and dispositions towards things, such a person does not hold to views, like this is myself. Such a person will observe the arising of suffering which is arising and the ceasing of suffering which is ceasing. Such a person will not hold to the views of existence and non-existence.

[07:33]

Such a person is simply present. It's not that there aren't entertaining opportunities for such a person. It's just that there's no approach to the entertainment, grasping or dispositions towards the entertainment. The Buddha said, please, honored followers of Zen, Train yourself thus. In the heard, that's heard as in hearing things, in the heard, there will be just the heard. In the seen, and that's seen as in seeing things, but also could apply to the seen spelled S-C-E-N-E, in the seen, there will be just the seen.

[08:56]

In the imagined there will be just the imagined, and in the cognized there will be just the cognized. Train yourself thus," the Buddha said. I say, this is presence, simple presence. Then the Buddha said, when there is for you or when for you there is in the seeing just the seeing and for you in the heard just the heard and in the cognized just the cognized

[10:03]

and in the imagined, just the imagined, then in such pure presence you will not identify with it. When you do not identify with it, that is, the seen, the heard, the cognized, the imagined, when you don't identify with it, you will not be located in it or outside of it. When you're not located in it or outside it, there will be no here or there. or in between, and this will mean the end of suffering. Now I say, please train yourself thus.

[11:26]

In the pain, let there just be the pain. Without approaching it, grasping it, having dispositions towards it, inclinations towards it, just pure presence with pain. When for you in the pain there is just pain, then you will not locate yourself in it or outside of it. You will not identify with it. It will not be here or there or in between, and this will be the end of suffering. This is liberation, which is not less of love, but an expanding of it beyond grasping and desire, beyond desire and grasping.

[13:06]

This is the presence of Buddha. This is Buddha's presence that I'm talking about. It's no big deal. It's just the teaching of suchness. It's just simply what's happening. It's just simply what's coming to be. And for what's coming to be to be just what's coming to be without approaching it and meddling with it, without running away from it. Just pure full-faced meeting with what's happening with no desire for something else.

[14:35]

In this kind of presence, Buddha observed the dependent co-arising of the world, the dependently co-arising formation of the world, and the dependently co-arising cessation of the world. In that presence, the world comes and shows you this story. It shows you how the world comes to be and goes away. T.S. Eliot says something like, every end is a beginning.

[15:54]

Right now, you are at the end of your whole life up till now, and it is the beginning. It is a beginning. He said, every word is at home. Each of you is at home. And being at home, each of you takes your place and supports everybody else being in their home. Every word, every person is in the right place. He said, something like each word is neither diffident nor ostentatious.

[16:59]

Your experience in pure awareness, in pure presence, is neither diffident nor ostentatious, not shrinking back from itself nor proudly puffed up, just right at home. The common word exact without vulgarity. The formal word precise but not pedantic. In your ordinariness exact but not vulgar. in your formal practice, in your formal postures, precise and not pedantic.

[18:07]

In every ordinary, commonplace expression and experience, there is exactness in this presence. But it's not vulgar. It's not disrespected. Formalities are done precisely as formalities must be done. but there's no pedantry or arrogance. The Buddha said, the world is bound, is enslaved by approach, grasping, inclination, and disposition.

[20:37]

The opposite of freedom is compulsion, is the impulse and compulsion. And if we fall into that impulse and compulsion, we lose our presence and we lose the freedom which is already under our nose. if we could just be present with it. He who does not follow the approach, grasping, and dispositions does not cling or adhere to any view like this is myself. With this pure presence one thinks this suffering that is subject to arising arises.

[22:05]

Suffering that is subject to ceasing ceases. Such a person does not doubt, is not perplexed. Herein her knowledge is not other dependent. Thus far, there is right view. Everything exists is one extreme. Everything does not exist is a second extreme. Without approaching either extreme, the Buddha teaches you the doctrine of the middle. Dependent on ignorance, dispositions arise.

[23:14]

Dependent on dispositions arise consciousness. dependent on consciousness, the psychological personality of name and form arise. Dependent on the psychological personality, the six sense doors arise. Dependent on the six sense doors, contact arises. Depending on contact, feeling arises. Feeling is the seventh stage. Sometimes it's taught that the third through the seventh stage consciousness through this feeling, this pertains to the present life.

[24:21]

Even Shakyamuni Buddha, born into his present life, had a past life of five skandhas where there were dispositions. Born of ignorance, arising dependent on ignorance, there were dispositions and he was born And there was consciousness. And there was psychological personhood. There were sense bases. There was contact and there was feeling. But the Buddha stops there. In this life, The awakened one stops at that link, at feeling.

[25:28]

Does not leave the present feeling. stays present and upright with this feeling, this pain, this pleasure, this confusion, does not move into thirst, craving, grasping, and so on. Each of you has to judge for yourself as best you can what it means to be present with your feeling, which is your evaluation of what's happening.

[26:52]

And each of you has to carefully observe whether you're present and whether your actions arise in dependence on presence, or whether your actions are karmic formations arising from approaching and desiring and grasping, and karmic formations I'm smiling because if you are present, you can uncross your legs and it's not more karma.

[28:02]

It's just something that spontaneously arises out of your presence. It's not because you're desiring something else. Are you present? In the pain, is there just the pain? And in that presence, do you notice that there's no identification or separation from the pain? It comes so quickly it's hard to, it's hard to not flinch a little bit.

[29:09]

A slight change in a person's face can hurt and in that hurt you can quickly approach it, grasp it, and apply a disposition and act from that disposition. All like that. Similarly, when that expression, that facial expression happens, you can also stay and feel that pain and be upright with it and witness an action that's based on right view spontaneously arise with no deliberation, not part of a

[30:17]

causal chain, still dependently co-arising, but now the enactment of liberation. But it all depends on presence. If there is anger, then there's no problem about presence. You've been knocked off. But if you're present with the pain, even the slightest pain, if you're present with it, and you don't get angry, then the dispositions bring in the big one.

[31:24]

boredom. This is a threat of no more entertainment, no more fun, no more joy. Life's going to be very flat in this pure, non-desiring place. It's going to get very dusty and drab and not life at all. But when that kind of threat comes, you know you're getting close to the truth. Of course, with such heavy duty threat, most of us will not stay in that neighborhood very long. We know how we have dispositions to recover from that threat.

[32:31]

Just a slight wisecrack is sufficient. You don't even have to get angry. A tiny bit of cynicism is sufficient. homage to the perfection of wisdom, the lovely, the holy, unstained. The entire world cannot stain her. In the Avatamsaka Sutra, when they teach the perfection of wisdom, they call that teaching the teaching of presence. How do you enter the presence?

[33:39]

You enter the presence of the perfection of wisdom by entering the sameness, the equality of everything. You could say that is the blandness the uninterestingness. But anyway, it's by entering the sameness of the signlessness of all things. All things don't really... they are signless. Or rather I would say, the way that they're all signless, the way that they're all undifferentiated, They're all equal that way. And you enter presence by entering that sameness, that equality. There's nine other equalities through which you enter in order to enter this presence of perfect wisdom.

[35:24]

but I stopped here for a second, not exactly for a, what do you call it, a commercial break, but something like that. It's like a moment to pay homage to doubt. To doubt. For the one who doesn't approach and grasp and fall into inclinations and dispositions, there is no doubt. But what about for one who doubts? To practice pure presence, in other words, to just sit upright and to be totally devoted to just sitting upright and not moving from what's happening, and just be present there with no desire and no object or goal in mind.

[37:02]

It's necessary to understand that there's a goal in the back of that practice, and the goal is to become free of suffering and to attain enlightenment for the welfare of all beings. There is a goal. And that's in the background of this objectless practice, this practice of pure, selfless, desireless presence. This pure, selfless, desireless presence is the compassion which is patient with all beings who are doubting this very practice which would liberate them.

[38:12]

Understanding that there's no room for the self in such a practice and that people are hesitant to enter into such a practice because they sense that they will perhaps forget themselves in the process. So there's a natural perplexity or fear or doubt of what will happen to me if I enter into that kind of presence. So that kind of presence does naturally follow from the practice of living in such a way as to realize enlightenment for the welfare of others. But the actual presence itself has no other there.

[39:21]

There's no here or over there in there. There's no being located or not located in there. There's no approach to anything. We need to understand that this practice of just sitting in pure presence is the practice of a bodhisattva. who's dedicated to the welfare of others. Otherwise, the just sitting could be a waste of time. And this so-called pure presence could be a waste of time. So if there's some perplexity around that, it would be good to clarify that. Now if you don't have perplexity, you're just not interested in it, then that's fine.

[40:38]

Then you have a different kind of doubt. Again the poet says, a complete simplicity costing nothing less than everything. That's what this is. a precision without pedantry, an exactness without sloppiness, neither ostentatious nor diffident. Just simply, completely be yourself as you're coming to be. Nothing more, nothing less. It's not that this is good or bad. The proposal is that this is authentic. authentic.

[41:39]

You are the author of your presence. The question is, what presence are you the author of? Each of us has a deep sense of whether we're being authentic or whether we're telling the truth. And if you think that you are telling the truth, well, then I would suggest go tell somebody about it. Get it out of yourself. so that you don't get, what do you call it, hurt by your own truth which you keep inside.

[43:10]

Your own truth, your own honesty will hurt you if you don't get it outside. Also, your own lying will hurt you if you don't get it outside. So on the first day of Sashina I mentioned the obvious, and that is that there's not much time left, and now there's less.

[44:35]

Since I spoke on the first day, it's been about 48 or 49 hours. Each of us has lived, I guess, that whole time. And thinking about how I've lived my life the last 48 hours, I can notice quite a few times when I wasn't fully present, when I looked away from the brightness of the bodhisattva's presence. when I flinched from the subtle and gross pains that I experienced, when I flinched or dodged the subtle and gross pleasures that I experienced, when I missed an opportunity

[46:44]

to move with the dignity of a Buddha. When I missed an opportunity to respond to another human or non-human being with the dignity of a greatly compassionate being. when I missed the opportunity to be present with the awareness of our ancestors. In short, I noticed many times when I wasn't fully present. when I was a little bit ahead of myself or a little behind myself, a little bit ahead of my pain, a little behind my pain, a little off center, a little off balance, or a lot off center and a lot off balance.

[48:12]

Right now, As I'm speaking, I'm watching to see, am I present with my body, with my speech, and with my thoughts? And as I check, I tell you, not bad. Not that bad. A little embarrassed to tell you that, but not that bad. In other words, sometimes I'm not this good. Sometimes I'm not this present. But this would be a good place to start from. Right about like this. Right about, like, quick.

[49:23]

Here. Now. Here. Totally. Always. Here. Kind of like that. Oh, there's some pain. Okay, hi, pain. Hello. Oh, my God, when I talked sweetly to it, it disappeared. Funny. That was nice. Should I try it again? Hello. Hi. Wow, it worked. I didn't know it would. I wasn't even talking to it to make it go away. Now, next time if I try it, it probably would be for that reason, but that time I was just actually, it just came to visit and I said, hi, did you see me? That was very spontaneous. And it went away. It's going to be hard for me not to try that again. And if I do, that will not work, because my pain will feel that I'm being disrespectful and just using a trick on her.

[50:37]

But actually, that was a purely friendly response to my pain. I was going to say something after that, which I forgot. What was it? Well, I was going to check to see how present I was with it after I said hello. Or there it is again, hello, hello, hi, how present am I with you? It went away again. I'll be darned. Isn't that funny? Presence is a miracle. Presence is the end of suffering. At least right then it was. Could that be so? Could it be that simple that presence without Meeting your pain without trying to get it away, just really meeting it as though you're meeting a long-lost friend, something that you really love. Not love like, love like, like. Love like love. Like, hello. It went away again. Micah, it's amazing.

[51:42]

thought crossed my mind to bring a book in and read it to you. It's a book that has a story that I told and somebody put it in a book. It was a book, it was a story about me when I was suffering a lot during a session. Did you read that story in that book? Some of you did. Okay. So if I tell the story, the lecture will be longer. I hesitate to tell you to talk to your pain the way I just sort of spontaneously talked to mine and made mine go away. And every time I even talk about talking to my pain that way, it goes away again. It's amazing. It keeps coming back as I'm talking to you, and then I have this kind of Friendly feeling about it, and it keeps going away.

[53:00]

Every time I feel friendly towards it, it goes away. How long will this work? I'm kind of looking forward to try this out. Wow. But I think, anyway, it's still kind of manipulative, you see. So I'm really not going to try that too much. I'd rather read it, but I sort of remember it because I told it after all. So it was my second Sashin over in Japantown. And so I was waiting for Dokusan with Suzuki Roshi, and I don't remember particularly...

[54:02]

that when I was sitting and waiting that I was in a lot of pain. But generally speaking, I was in a lot of pain when I was sitting. So anyway, I was sitting there for some time waiting, and then I went in to see him, and I sat down and crossed my legs. And I talked to him for a while, and then he said, oh, excuse me, I have to go do something. Or maybe he just said, excuse me, and he left. He left the doksan, left me sitting there cross-legged, which, as I said, was generally an uncomfortable situation for me. We don't have any way of telling who's suffering most around here. I mean, I don't know who's suffering most.

[55:08]

I really don't. I sometimes wish I could just, like, temporarily visit some of your bodies, just sort of drop in there and see how it is. Oh, wow, this is nothing. Or, oh, my God. You know, you can stay just as long as you wanted to, right? So I really don't know. But I do know that I have some pain, and it varies. And I was always surprised about the sitting, how painful it was. It always surprised me. If you sit in full lotus long enough, believe it or not, you'll have pain. If you sit in half lotus, long enough, you'll have pain. If you sit in a chair long enough, you'll have pain. If you stand up long enough on the earth, you'll have pain.

[56:13]

Any posture you stay in, any yogic posture you stay in long enough, you will get uncomfortable. If you keep moving enough, you may not notice that you're in pain. Of course, until a certain time comes when you can't move anymore. and then it's going to come real heavy. But anyway, I was sitting there cross-legged talking to him, and he said something like, excuse me, I have to go. And he left me, and the Doksang room was downstairs, and I heard him going up the stairs, up, [...] upstairs to the zendo, which was above my head. And then I heard him walking down the hall to his office, and I heard the door of his office open and close. And then... I heard the door of his office open and close, and I thought he walked into the zendo. And then I heard the sound of noon service starting, you know, ganji, zaibo, that kind of thing.

[57:19]

And then the noon service ended, and then there was, I heard the sounds of lunch. Buddha was born, you know, that kind of stuff, munch, munch. Then I heard the sound of the end of lunch. There's water, blah, blah, blah, blah. Ambrosia. And then I heard the people coming out of the zendo, going down the stairs, going on their break. And then after that, I heard the door of his office open and close. I was kind of listening to see what he was doing. Somewhere in the middle there, I think in the middle of lunch, I noticed that it had been quite a while. I'd been talking to him a pretty long time before he left, actually.

[58:21]

So after I'd been sitting there about an hour and a half, I noticed that I didn't have any pain. I mean, there was sensation. I wasn't numb. There was sensation, kind of a warm feeling down there in the leg area. It was not exactly different from what it was usually when I thought I was in this excruciating pain. It's kind of like it is right now. But I wasn't calling it pain, and I didn't see my pain. I was perfectly comfortable. And I thought, oh, he did a little thing here, showing me something, a little teaching. And I thought, wow, how did that happen? I was really amazed that usually I would sit for like, that time anyway I would sit for not too long and I would start to have a lot of pain, like maybe five minutes usually into the period it would get pretty good.

[59:28]

Then by 15 minutes it was usually close to max. And it stayed that way pretty much to the end, usually, with a few little hills and valleys. One time I counted the hills and valleys, 270. There wasn't any hills and valleys, just kind of like mushy, like mushy wonder. Then again, somewhere during the break time, I heard him coming back down the stairs. At this time, it had been, I think, about, like I say, maybe two hours altogether I spent sitting there.

[60:33]

And then I heard him come over to the door and open the door and he came in the door and he looked at me and said, oh. He didn't say, I forgot you were here, but obviously he had forgotten I was there. So it wasn't some kind of special teaching. So then he sat down and we talked some more to finish the conversation. And then that was that. And I left. But I really... I said, you know, when I wrote the story, I showed it to somebody and I said at the end that my understanding of pain changed after that. He said, well, I would like to hear you say how it changed. But it's hard to say what it changed into. I guess I just really... I guess I just kind of like forgot the way I used to think about it and I haven't really gotten a new way yet.

[61:40]

To me it's just a mystery. I don't know what it is. But I really trust... loving it and taking good care of it with no desire and not leaning into it or leaning away from it. I really trust that. And it's been a great blessing to me to hear about this teaching of just let the pain be the pain. I've never, I've never, ever regretted being with pain that way. I've never regretted walking to the center of the field of pain and sitting or standing upright there and just being present there.

[62:42]

I never regretted it. Sometimes I can't bear to go there and I can't be present enough even to get there But whenever I've gotten there, I've never regretted it. I've always been happy when I got there. And if I could stay there and study there, then I think there is where I would like to study how it is that dependent core arising is revealing itself. And I also want to tell you that I just make it clear to you that there have been many times over the years in this lifetime when I have retreated from the fire.

[64:06]

In case that isn't clear. Many times I've retreated from the heat of the pain. Okay? And I... I really don't particularly want to say that that was good or bad exactly. Sometimes maybe I never really did get into that it was good or bad to do that. Because maybe it was good because the fact that I allowed myself to retreat sometimes meant that I would come back the next day and try again, or the next period and try again, or the next minute and try again. So maybe it was good. But maybe it wasn't good. Maybe I wasted time retreating some of those times. I don't know. I'm not so much into that, figuring that out. Maybe I should, but I haven't been. But I do think it was good the times when I was there completely for that little time.

[65:13]

But the times when I couldn't stand it, I really don't judge myself badly or well for doing that. I just know that I needed to do that. I needed to rest. I don't know if I should even say I needed to do it. I'll just say I did it. I rested or took a break. So I guess what I'm saying is that...I'm getting to it now. Here it comes. I'm pretty much saying to you that I'm going to continue to try to find the way to be present with whatever. I'm pretty faithful about that.

[66:15]

And that's an understatement. I'm willing to get in there with my life. And I may not always be able to do it fully, but even when I don't do it fully, then later I'm going to try again. And I'm not going to stop, ever. I'm never going to give up. I may slip. I may chicken out. I may overdo it. But I'm going to keep going. And part of the reason why I'm confident that I'm going to keep going and that I tell you out of that confidence is because I know that sometimes if I need to, I'll rest. And resting Knowing that I do rest, have rested, and have come back again and again, a hundred million times I've come back, makes me confident that I will continue forever.

[67:37]

Resting is part of being able to be enthusiastic about something that is kind of big scale like this, you know, like forever, like always. Rest. Be gentle with yourselves so that you can come back a little later with enthusiasm, with a joy that at least one minute during this session you're going to be completely present with what's happening. Or not even one minute, one second Funny thing is that sometimes you can't be sure if you're present when you're feeling comfortable. Because what would be the difference between being present when you're comfortable and just being comfortable?

[68:46]

It's hard to tell the difference. Do you know what I mean? I have a hard time. But when I'm in a lot of pain, a lot of pain, It's pretty easy for me to tell when I'm not present because there is an inclination to not be present. So I can tell kind of when I'm trying to get out of there, when I'm kind of shrinking back or fighting back or trying to modify it or, you know, get my hands on it to change it a little bit anyway. I can usually spot that. You know, sometimes I can pause, pause. So when I'm actually in the pain and I actually say, hello, darling, and I really mean that, and I'm not doing that to trick her or make her go away or be better behaved, but actually I just kind of like, hello.

[69:48]

And I also notice when it's painful, I notice that when I try to mess around a little bit and when I try to back away a little bit, it flares up hugely. So my lack of presence is easy to spot in pain. So the funny thing is that it's usually in pain that you first get a feeling for what it's like to be present. Most people first get a feeling for it. It also is possible to be present in the middle of pleasure because there's suffering there too, but it's a little harder to find it there. But if you can find it there first, that's fine. Eventually we have to find it in pleasure too. There's suffering there too, but the pain, the suffering of pain is Anyway, it's in awareness of suffering that we first usually get a feeling for what it's like to be enlightened, awake, free.

[71:11]

A smile has come across my face, and it's about something I thought, which I didn't tell you yet, and now I'll tell you. It's about me thinking, you know, that I wanted to teach you about the stuff you've been chanting in morning service during this session, about this, you know, there are no existences whatsoever are evident anywhere that are arisen from themselves, from others, from both, or from non-cause. Talk about that during Sashin. And when I think about wanting to talk with you about this and bring this teaching out and relate it to what's happening, and once I feel a subtle pain at not being able to do it, which I then tried to be present with. But then I got this picture of it's kind of like trying to teach or practice the Japanese tea ceremony or something like that out in the middle of a...

[73:33]

you know, construction site with lots of heavy equipment driving around you and when it's raining and cold and the wind's blowing and people are throwing, you know, tomatoes at you. And you're kind of like you're...maybe you're a tea teacher and you want to teach tea, right? But you sort of know that it's not quite...it's going to be very delicate matter to like even get the tea equipment out of the containers. without them getting very muddy, or not to mention to get the people to even consider such an activity under such circumstances. And yet, again, part of my enthusiasm is I think eventually we could figure out a tea ceremony to do there in the construction site. It might be different, but eventually we'd get so comfortable out there with all this stuff going on, it would start to look like a lovely tea room.

[74:45]

But it would be, of course, a different form. than the usual one, but you'd still want to, if you had experienced that, you know, you'd still want to teach that or practice that under those circumstances if you realize that there would never be any other circumstances. So I'm kind of like wanting to bring this up, but at the same time realizing that the circumstances may never allow it to be brought up during this five-day session. because you people are doing your kind of heavy equipment kind of work here, which is, I mean, I'm glad you're doing it. So maybe just chanting it in morning service will be sufficient. You'll wake up during morning service

[75:52]

to the message of Nagarjuna. But who knows? Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to get into it with you. So, depending on ignorance, there is the arising of karmic formations.

[79:28]

And depending on that, there's consciousness. And so on. up to death and suffering and lamentation and sorrow and despair forever. That's what the Buddha saw. And I think you can see that now too, maybe. but awareness of this story of ignorance and karma.

[80:37]

That awareness is not karma. The awareness of this messy business and all the pain involved, that is not karma. The flinching from this messy business is karma. The actions based on habitual tendencies towards this messy story, that's karma. But the awareness of all that is not karma. If you are aware of this, you are aware of a level of life which is not karma. And if there can be this settling into this story,

[81:48]

just as it's coming to be. This is the unborn Buddha mind. This is unconstructedness in stillness, the stillness of not flinching or running away from the world of karma. That is the end of suffering. It's right at hand. Right now. Can you feel it?

[83:00]

Can you settle into the unconstructedness, the unbornness of stillness? which is the entrance into the self-fulfilling awareness of all the Buddhas. Can you greet your pain? with true friendliness, with no manipulative agenda, just, hello, darling. Or maybe you could just say, please tell me your secret.

[84:25]

Tell me the secret of life. But if you don't, I won't reject you. I'll be your devoted friend, even if you don't tell me the secret. But I'd like you to. It would be fun.

[84:51]

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