As for the contemplation of dharma, this can be the contemplation of dharma in the sense of contemplating a phenomenon that arises and ceases. And in this sense, we're contemplating the dharma of conventional reality, the dharmas of birth and death. One can also contemplate, I say one can, but anyway, not really one can, but there can be the contemplation of ultimate reality. So, since there can be, let's talk about it.

[01:10]

So how is the contemplation of ultimate reality realized? How is it realized? It is realized by a contemplation, a meditation, an awareness that does not approach events, does not incline with regard to events, does not cling or attach or grasp events, This is the kind of contemplation to which ultimate truth is realized, with which, through which, at which ultimate truth is realized.

[02:20]

So the thought crossed through my mind earlier, the thought, the sentence, how do we approach ultimate truth? How do we approach the contemplation of ultimate truth? And I said, oh yeah, you don't approach it. You have to be very careful not to approach it, because if you approach it, you certainly, if you approach this truth, you certainly won't realize it. So we have to be very still. There has to be stillness in the contemplation of ultimate truth. No approach Now this way of contemplation is also the way that one can contemplate conventional phenomena.

[03:38]

So as it says in the sutra, the world is generally not upright towards existence and non-existence. The world is generally bound by approach and inclination and disposition and sentiment and grasping and so on with regard to existence and non-existence. But if one contemplates existence and non-existence, if one contemplates birth and death, the arising of suffering and the ceasing of suffering, the arising of self and the ceasing of the self, if one contemplates this in this upright fashion,

[04:59]

then one understands and has no doubts about these arisings and ceasings. One has no anxiety about birth and death. When we have no anxiety about birth and death, really, deep down, this shows we have understood the ultimate. As long as we have an inclination towards the risings and ceasings, we are perplexed and anxious. But when we have no inclinations, no grasping towards the risings and ceasings, then we have no doubt. In other words, we understand that arisings and ceasings are not arisings and ceasings.

[06:16]

But arising is fundamentally not arising and ceasing is fundamentally not ceasing. Jojo taught his group, Mahakasyapa transmitted to Ananda. Now say, to whom did Bodhidharma transmit?

[07:28]

Pardon? Say it louder. To whom did Bodhidharma transmit? Yeah. So to whom did Bodhidharma transmit? That was good. Now answer my question again. To whom did Bodhidharma transmit? No, that was Mahakasyapa. Mahakasyapa transmitted to Ananda. To whom did Bodhidharma transmit? Bodhidharma Dayosho. Bodhidharma Dayosho. Jessica, Bodhidharma Dayosho. That's close, yeah. Bodhidharma transmitted to . He transmitted to the second ancestor of Zen.

[08:38]

He transmitted to you and me. He's got the whole world in his hand. He's got the little bit of baby in his hand. He's got you and me in his hand. Now, the monk said, the second ancestor attained the marrow. How about that? So Jaojo said, now say, to whom did Bodhidharma transmit? And the monk in the group said, the second ancestor attained the marrow. How about that? Do you have a question about the marrow? Did you have a question about marrow? M-A-R-R-O-W. Is that right? Merrill. The second ancestor attained the merrill. At the time of transmitting to the second ancestor, Bodhidharma said, You attained my merrill.

[09:45]

So then Jaojo said, Do not slander the second ancestor. He also said, If Bodhidharma means that someone reached the outside and attained the skin, and someone who reached inside attained the marrow, what does someone who has reached even deeper get? And the monk said, what does attaining the marrow mean? And Zhaozhou said, just know about skin. There's no marrow to depend on in my body. The monk said, what is marrow? Zhaozhou said, at that place, you don't feel the skin. When you know the skin, there is no need to search for the marrow.

[11:10]

This is truly attaining the marrow. The marrow is ultimate truth. You don't feel the skin there. The marrow is ultimate truth. There's no birth and death there. It's just complete peace and harmony. Buddhas and sentient beings are completely intimate. And sentient beings are thoroughly sentient beings feeling not intimate with Buddha. Who, me, intimate with Buddha? No way. Buddha says, The skin is birth and death.

[12:17]

You know that, right? Skin is birth and death. Skin is suffering. Endless irritation. Just before this lecture, my wife came to visit me. She snuck into the building and started attacking me. She's mad. I've been away too long. She's going to get me. She started already. But since there's no marrow to depend on in this body, I love being harassed. Because I just know the skin. Skin, skin, skin. Irritation. The funny thing is that sometimes when people touch our skin, we say, okay, I quit. I'm not going to play anymore because you touched me and that hurt. I'm going to go to the marrow.

[13:23]

But if you go to the marrow, your skin just gets more sensitive. Because there's no marrow to depend on in this body. Just know the skin. Just know birth and death. Just know the arising of the suffering that is liable to arise. As it says in this sutra. Just know the arising that is subject to ceasing. I mean the suffering that is subject to ceasing. Ceasing. Just no ceasing. Just no arising. That's it. This is truly realizing nirvana. I'm going to continue discussing this stuff for quite a while. So if you want to come on Thursday nights, you're invited to continue this study of the conventional world of birth and death and the contemplation of the world of no birth and no death.

[14:44]

You're welcome to come and continue to discuss and study just the skin. and realize the marrow where you can't feel the skin. But we have to first be willing to have our skin, have this skin. And we have some ambivalence about having skin, don't we? So do you understand how to practice contemplation of ultimate truth? You just have conventional truth. That's all you've got. If you're satisfied with that, the ultimate will reveal itself to you. If you're not, more birth and death for you.

[15:49]

Yeah. Only one robe. Stingy? What's stingy? Having only one robe? Stingy dharma. Just Stingy Dharma. And if you can just have Stingy Dharma, then you truly attain the marrow. Do you have some problem with Stingy Dharma? Oh, good. Stingy old Bodhidharma. Sitting there facing the wall for nine years, no snacks offered to the students. We have a priest group at Green Gulch, and we've just been recently studying another one of those guys, Fuyo Dokai Daisho.

[17:09]

You know that one? You sort of do. Anyway, he said, Fuyo Dokai said, did you just send her a kiss? Yeah. So, anyway, so... Fuyo Dokai says, when beginners, new arrivals come to the monastery, just give them water. No snacks will be provided for newcomers. I guess people used to come to get snacks, but he wouldn't give them any. Stingy Dharma. But our lineage seems to be not being stuck in that now. We give snacks to the beginners. So I guess that's nice. Some of my students want to set up a different monastery where we don't give any snacks.

[18:14]

We have Zazen 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. They don't like this kind of snacking style we have here. You know, like snacks, like people travel all the way to Tassajara to get those snacks during the guest season. Anyway, the important thing is to realize both truths. And if you are really just working with the first, the second will unfold to you. But you need the second. What do you need the second for, Jessica? Send her a kiss. What do you need the second for, Jessica? So you're grounded in the first? You need the second to give it up. You need the second truth, the ultimate truth, to give up.

[19:22]

You need it to give up. You've got to get the best thing so you can give it up, right? You don't know about that part, huh? You thought, well, I need the second one to attain liberation. Yeah. You do need the second truth. You do need ultimate reality to attain liberation. But really what you need it for is to give it up. And then reenter the world of birth and death. But now, once you've realized the ultimate and you enter the world of birth and death, now you won't have burnout. Now you won't abandon your clients and patients and students and wives and husbands anymore when they start hassling you. You started sucking your blood, scratching your skin, exuding orders which you're allergic to.

[20:22]

You'll still react, you know, you feel the pain, but no burnout. How come no burnout? Because you know the place where there's no skin. So the Zen teachers let go of the ultimate after realizing it and join hands with all beings and walk through birth and death. Walk through birth and death. And they can do that because they've realized the ultimate and let go of it. But it's hard to realize the ultimate because you've got to like just have your skin and your flesh and your bones. You've got to have your body and just have that body. So things arise and cease and that's it. You discipline yourself

[21:25]

You train yourself. You limit yourself to just what's appearing and disappearing. That's it. You don't add anything on top like things lasting or things being annihilated. You don't know about any fancy things. You just know the skin. You're kind of dumb. That's what my name, Ten Shin, means. It means kind of dumb. It means the skin is just the skin. That's what it means. When he gave me that name, he said, your name is Tenjin. It means reb is reb. That's it. And he said, people will have a problem with that, but there's no other way. My name means your skin is your skin.

[22:27]

And people have a problem with that, especially you. And there's no other way. And when you accept that, you're accepting the conventional world of birth and death. And the ultimate world is right there, ready to set you free. But you first of all have to act like you're free in the world of birth and death. So when things arise and cease, you have to be upright. Just like you would be if you understood that there's nothing to get other than this. And then when you really realize that there's nothing to get other than this, you get something which is not other than this, but is the deep meaning of this. The deep meaning of this world of suffering, the deep meaning of this world of misery is that it is not the world of misery.

[23:31]

It's the world of happiness. It's the world of peace. It's the world of undefiled love. That's the deep meaning. That is the deep meaning. That's really good, isn't it? That that's the deep meaning? Isn't that wonderful? But you can't have that unless you accept the superficial meaning, which is this world is not the world of love, this is the world of hate. And sometimes love, once in a while, if you're good. But if you're bad, you're horrid. And you're going to get punished. So, too bad for us. You know, somebody said to me, she said, you told us not to distract ourselves by counting breaths.

[24:34]

Did I say that during this session? Well, somebody told me I said that, and I didn't deny it when she told me that. I just thought, that's an interesting interpretation. I didn't say it, and I certainly wouldn't say it. I wouldn't dare to say such a thing now, would I? But I wish I had. Because that's another example, like Wellington was saying, I think maybe on the first day, you can use nice little practices like counting your breaths as a distraction from what's happening. You can use spiritual practices as addiction to perfection. Wow. Wow. You know, there you are, counting your breaths, and there's such a thing as perfect counting of the breath. And you can, like, really get into that addiction to being a perfect breath counter as a distraction from your skin, your creepy, crawly, painful skin that's arising and ceasing miserably.

[25:47]

So, although I didn't think I said it, I think actually I would say don't use counting your breaths as a way to distract yourself. But you can count your breaths if it's not being used as an extreme to take you away from the middle, the middle of your suffering. You could also use counting your breaths as an extreme of indulging in sensual pleasure, because some people really feel good when they're counting their breaths, which is fine to feel good when you're counting your breath, but to use it, to use the pleasure of counting your breath, it's the using that's the problem. Don't use it, and don't let it use you. Otherwise it'll distract you from the good old middle. Okay? Does that make sense?

[26:49]

And this person also said, it's very hard to just watch the breath without trying to manipulate it. I think that's really true for a lot of people. When you're watching your breath or counting your breath, it's very hard to not manipulate it. In other words, to not use it, either to be like a perfect student or to have some pleasure. And also, just like if the breath is happening and you can't use it, well, it's just like all over the place. You can hardly stand the chaos of the breath. The breath is not a well-organized program. And if you look and see that, you say, yikes, somebody, I want to get control of this. And what about me? What's my role in this breathing process, et cetera? This is called not just letting your breath be breath, okay?

[27:53]

But it's okay if you just let this mess be that mess. Just watch yourself trying to manipulate your breath, and that's as good a meditation as meditating on your breath. Look at that person there trying to get control of this breathing process. This is the skin. Just let this control freak be a freak who's trying to get a control of the breath. What a cruel thing to do. But if that's what she wants to do, hey, we're with you. We'll hold your hand through this one. Here we go into hell. Here we go into heaven. So it's a, it's a, until we're a Buddha, it's a kind of going back and forth.

[29:04]

It's like just skin, realize the marrow, give up the marrow, and hold hands, you know, lay on some skin. Take somebody's hand and just let it be that. Realize the marrow, can't feel the skin, give up the marrow where you can't feel the skin, feel the skin. Back and forth like this until these two are completely simultaneous and then that's called complete Buddhahood. Butch told me that he and some other people are going to the San Francisco jails to teach sitting meditation. And they've gotten feedback that there is a marked improvement in uprightness in the prison population.

[30:06]

the inmates are becoming more and more released from the general tendency of approach, inclination, and grasping. They're starting to watch the suffering which is subject to arising and rising. How about the inmates here? This morning during service there was a man here in the room with us who has been coming around Zen Center for about 30 years. And so he was here again today during our morning service.

[31:21]

And in 1970 I was asked to come up from Tassajara to be director of this building. We had moved into this building about six months before. We moved into this building in November of 1969. So this fall will be our 30th year anniversary. So there'll be quite a few snacks served, I imagine. So be sure to drop by. I think I will, too. It'll probably be really good. Anyway, so we moved in here, and then And then I was at Tassajara. Actually, I lived in the building when we first moved in here. I was the treasurer and the ino. And I also worked downtown programming computers. And so then I went to Tassajara and in the summer Zen Center people asked me to come up here and be director of the building.

[32:37]

So I came up here. And the day I came up here was like tomorrow. July 10th was the day I came from Tassajara. I arrived here on July 10th. I left Tassajara on July 10th and arrived here on July 10th. Twenty-nine years ago to the day, tomorrow. And I arrived in the afternoon and I went into the dining room for dinner. I sat down at one of those round tables and said hi. And I told people, today's my birthday. And they said, sure. But that's why I remember the day I came, because I arrived on my birthday, July 10, 1970, to be director. And so then I became the director from that time for a while.

[33:42]

And this person that I was talking about who came here this morning for service, he used to come into the building at that time, too. But he wasn't a resident. He used to just come in and hang out. That's part of the reason why they asked me to be the director, because they thought maybe I could talk to him about that. And also, sometimes he would make snacks for himself that weren't offered. And one time, he went into the kitchen and made a snack. And the tenzo said, would you please stop making yourself snacks? And he punched the tenzo, one of our more famous tenzos, named Loring Palmer. and the tenzo fell backwards onto the door to the pot room in the kitchen, which had a door on it at that time, and the spice rack fell on his head. He didn't get hurt too badly. I can tell you of some other times when he did get hurt, but that was kind of... So, for that reason, they wanted me to be the director, because I used to be a heavyweight boxing champion.

[34:50]

I'll talk to you about that later. And... Do you understand what's going on now? This is walking hand in hand through birth and death. Do you understand? Are you walking hand in hand through birth and death? Sure you are. You're happy, right? You don't want to be someplace else, do you? So anyway, I came up here and I said... I said, stop hitting the tenzo. So he stopped. And I also said, would you please leave and just come here during meditation periods? And he left. He left. He walked out. He was yelling when he walked out, but he did walk out. And then he threw one of the geraniums we had outside, potted geraniums, he threw it back through the window of the building. He's expressed himself. So then, you know, he kept coming during my tenure as director.

[36:11]

The director's staying to hear this. So there I was, you know, being director, and he came to visit other times. And one of the times he came to visit... Well, he came during meditation times. He came into the zendo. And at that time, we had a visiting Zen mistress. Her name was Yoshida Roshi. And she taught us sewing, the traditional way of sewing these robes. And she was sitting in meditation facing the wall. And he went into the zendo during meditation and walked around, not sitting in his seat like most people. He was walking around the zendo during meditation. And he went up to Yoshida Roshi and kissed her on the back of the head. And in those days, we used to carry the stick regularly.

[37:16]

And the person who had carried the stick was called the Junko. And she just sat there and received that kiss. And then after the period was over, she said to someone, Who was the Junko during that period? She thought the Junko had kissed her. Because who else would be walking around, right? And she didn't think Suzuki Roshi would kiss her, I guess. Then on another occasion, I'll just tell you one more story about him, probably, maybe more than one, but at least one. Another occasion, he came into the building, and I was in the courtyard here. This courtyard? I was there with my teacher, Suzuki Roshi, and we were talking about something, some directorial business, I suppose. And I saw Tom Poole coming in, you know, and he was approaching, and he said, Hey, Suzuki Roshi, and he started walking towards him, and I got up,

[38:25]

to kind of get between him and Suzuki Roshi because I didn't want him to hurt Suzuki Roshi. So I kind of like stood between him and the teacher. And he sort of yelled over me to Suzuki Roshi. He said, would you tell your stupid disciple to get out of the way? And Suzuki Roshi got up and walked over and said, who's stupid? Who's stupid? And he reached out and took Tom's hand And they walked hand-in-hand to the door, and he said, bye-bye, and Tom left. And I thought, oh, gee, that's kind of, I thought I was protecting Cesar Garcia, but he could take care of himself pretty well. He let go of the ultimate and took Tom's hand and walked him to the door. And Tom's still coming to Zen Center.

[39:29]

But lately he hasn't been throwing anything through the window or punching tensos. And actually when Oksan, when Suzuki Roshi's wife went back to Japan, he went to the airport to say goodbye to her. And she didn't really know who he was, I don't think, but she was nice to him. And he was so sweet at the airport. So he and I have this 30-year love affair. And he was here today. He left early. I guess maybe he had to go to work or something. Did he say why he was leaving? No. He's getting old. Maybe part of the reason why he's not doing these amazing things anymore. We're growing old together, he and I. And you know, part of growing old for me is that I'm shrinking.

[40:37]

Like I say, I used to be a heavyweight boxer. But I don't look like a heavyweight anymore, do I? I'm shrinking. I'm shrinking in weight and height. I don't mind shrinking the weight too much, but I feel funny about getting shorter and shorter. I've been feeling not so good about getting shorter and shorter, actually. I kind of like getting closer to the short people. I like that part. But I feel kind of uncomfortable about these people getting taller and taller. But during the sashin, I had a little kind of, excuse me, but a little encouragement. I thought, I'm getting to be more like Suzuki Roshi. Both that I'm getting shorter and approaching his height. But also when he was here, he was this little tiny guy teaching these big people. So that's what I am now. I'm kind of like becoming this little tiny shrunken little guy who's teaching these big people.

[41:39]

So it's kind of like he's taking over my body and turning me into a tiny little thing. This is a kind of like, makes getting smaller and older a little easier. I'm the age now and even a little older than when he first came to America. So, here I am. Here we are. Here you are. Walking hand in hand through birth and death. Trying to practice the middle way. Take our seat of enlightenment. Be upright. Give up manipulation and control. Let the skin be the skin.

[42:44]

Truly realize the marrow and give it up and reenter the world of skin. After all that, you probably don't have any questions, do you? So save your sutras. Take good care of them. The South will rise again. And if you don't want to take care of those sutras, please put them back in my basket. I'll take care of them for you. What sutra are they from?

[43:51]

Do you know? It's not really a sutra. It's from what's called the Udana. Udana means inspired utterance. So it's from that collection of the Buddha's inspired utterances. So it starts with his enlightenment and the things he said when he was enlightened. And then shortly after that, Udana 1.10 is where he says this thing about training yourself thus. I can show you the book if you want to, but anyway, it's not really a sutra. It's not called a sutra.

[44:54]

It's called Udana. Yes, Jessica? Hey, man, I'm into skin. You just keep talking. Okay. So I don't know time cool, but you weren't into bad love, right? Bad mother? Yeah. Did I say something bad? Well, no. I just don't know, and I just heard all... I would say it's kind of maybe not so positive because he's dead. Did I slander him? Did I make you not like him?

[45:55]

I know. If I see him, if I pinpoint two people, I will think that I'll associate those two things. Yeah, I will too. More than two things. Well, you know, I think the point is, first of all, was I intending to make you think less of him? No. Was there a possibility that you would? Yes. So. But that's not my intention. My intention is to tell you about the colorful history of Zen Center and that some of the early colorful people are still around Zen Center. Like me. And him. But I wasn't telling you that to make you think less of him. I was telling you to tell you a story about birth and death and how Suzuki Roshi and I lived with birth and death together.

[47:02]

Suzuki Roshi, I, and Tom lived together in birth and death. That's what I told you for. That was my intention. Now, if you think less of me, Suzuki Roshi, or Tom Poole because of that, then, well... I'm sorry if I did anything to encourage in any way you thinking less of anybody, but that wasn't my intention. I don't want you to think less of him. Based on what I said, you could think more of him. You could think, boy, this guy's really an old, this guy's a seasoned veteran of Zen Center. Somebody to appreciate. He's carrying a lot of history there. You could appreciate him more. So anyway, my intention was not to cause you to feel less close to him, not to make you think less of him, and also not to educate you about his history, him per se, but to educate you about mine.

[48:03]

Actually, I slipped when I said his name because I didn't necessarily want to say his name. I used to say his name when I told those stories because for many years he wasn't around Zen Center. So nobody knew who I was talking about. But then I thought, since he's in Zen Center, maybe I won't say his name, but it slipped. So I think the important thing is, what's my intention? Am I... For example, if I told a story about Suzuki Roshi doing this or that, some difficulty in his life, you might think less of him, or you might feel uneasy about him. If I told you something about somebody else, you could think less of them because of something that happened in their life. But that wouldn't be my intention. I vow not to have that not be my intention. Actually, Suzuki Roshi died of cancer, we say.

[49:10]

I mean, he had cancer. And some people in those days kind of thought, how could a Zen master die of cancer? They expect a Zen master to die of a cooler thing, like just die of over-meditation or something. Or maybe cardiac arrest would be all right. But cancer, like, geez, that's like just so ordinary. Can't they die of better stuff than that? And since then, you know, some other notable spiritual figures have died of cancer, so now it isn't such a blight on spiritual attainment. Like the Karmapa died of cancer, so maybe it's not so bad. Yeah, so, you know. But actually people did sort of say, how come, geez, that wasn't such a cool way to go. But actually I think he went really nicely with this kind of painful sickness that he had.

[50:13]

Yeah. almost the epitome of the way it's going to go, because it's, you know, all the poisons and toxins in the system, you know, one of them is going to create cancer, so it's going to be a vehicle for all of the others. Yeah, right. And Suzuki Roshi, he lived in, you know, he lived in Japan during and after the war and ate a lot of bad food and, you know, took in a lot of poison. So the body gets sick. And you could also say, well, a bodhisattva dies like everybody else. They don't have necessarily some special death. But that's another topic, about whether some people have special deaths.

[51:14]

Because there is that teaching that Buddhas do some special stuff when they die. But again, Shakyamuni, had, you know, just regular sickness, dysentery and all that. He had problems there with his body towards the end. But he was still the Buddha. And when Suzuki Roshi died, he would have these problems, but I was pretty happy with the way he dealt with them. the Dharma was coming off of him very nicely while he was sick, as far as I could see. I didn't feel like, oh, he's not giving Dharma talks or doksan anymore, so the Dharma isn't coming. I felt like he was penetrating very deeply. The way he was was going in very deeply. And I can still remember the way he was. He was showing me who he was very strongly at the end. very clear teaching.

[52:17]

So I hope you all appreciate and love the person I told these stories about. Do you? Did you love him before? Did you love him before? Did you love him before? Revelation upon revelation. Thank you. Okay, so is that it then? You had enough of this kind of stuff? Amen.

[53:24]

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