This morning I would like to talk about the first great bodhisattva precept. It's already passed out. My first great bodhisattva precept is a taking refuge in Buddha. And I've been warming up to this so far in all my talks.

[01:03]

So what I've been suggesting to you is that you could go round and round between invoking compassion, practicing renunciation, confessing, invoking compassion, evoking compassion, Practicing renunciation, confession, go round and round and round and round until you are well-renounced, well-compassionated, and well-confessed. Or you're practicing renunciation with a fully confessed person. and that by practicing renunciation you can fully confess yourself.

[02:21]

That taking refuge in Buddha spontaneously arises that you return to Buddha by that process spontaneously, without any thought even of the word Buddha necessarily. And when I first, I think at some point when I thought about these bodhisattva precepts, And it dawned on me that the first three ways off of precepts are the refuges. It occurred to me, and I think that some other people have also mentioned that the refuges don't seem like precepts. And sometimes they say, refuges and precepts. Sometimes they write out on the linear document or on the ordination document, receive refuges and precepts, but those first of those refuges are called precepts.

[03:34]

So just as taking refuge spontaneously arises out of us when we complete the practice of confession and renunciation, complete, not complete, but when we fully realize those practices, Taking Refuge in Buddha spontaneously is realized, too. In the same way, I see all the Bodhisattva precepts emerging from this first precept. Taking Refuge in Buddha includes all the other precepts, and all the other precepts naturally stream out of the one practice, the one practice realization. of taking refuge in Buddha. All Buddhas teach. Refrain from all unwholesomeness, practice all good, clarify the mind, or in later versions, save all beings.

[04:40]

That comes out of all Buddhas. returning to the mind and heart of Buddha, once settled there, once realized there, the precepts of the Buddha naturally come out. All Buddhas teach not killing, not stealing, and so on. This mind of Buddha that we return to, that we take refuge in, You know, in whatever way we can, but anyway, that mind of Buddha, that heartache Buddha, is the mind and heart that sees everything as not killing, that looks everywhere in the universe and sees the teaching, the precept of not killing, sees it happening. sees not stealing, sees how the world really sees the world of dharma, how this really is.

[05:51]

In the world of dharma there is no stealing, there is no lying, and so on. It doesn't mean that the Buddha can't see the world of stealing and lying. The Buddha's eyes can see that too. And this brings tears to Buddha's eyes and pained the Buddha's heart. but would also concede that all beings are enacting the bodhisattva precepts. So in that sense, the mind of Buddha doesn't seem like these other precepts when you think of these other precepts in terms of regulations. The mind of Buddha is where both the regulation side of the precepts comes from, if people need it that way, and also where the realization or enlightenment side of the precepts comes from. I don't remember exactly how Norman put it, but something like, when you're with a sick or a vast person,

[07:03]

and express their pain and their misery and their illness, if you can listen to that pain and then be at peace with that pain in yourself. Yes, I hear you, and I'm at peace with that. This helps them listen to themselves and be at peace with their anguish themselves. Or if a person is confessing to you and telling you, you know, I'm really a jerk, and I'm really cruel, and I have a lot of sorrow over the way I am, I'm really selfish, you don't try to talk them out of it. You say, oh no, you're not, it's not so bad. You listen, and you feel the pain that they feel. You accept, you don't feel their pain, but you feel pain in their story. You know what they mean, because you would feel pain if you

[08:08]

felt that way, and you're at peace with your own pain, and you show them that they can be at peace with their own limited views. And if you can be at peace with your pain and show them to be at peace with their pain, both of you can be at peace with your pain, then there's a possibility of taking refuge in Buddha. But it would also apply to yourself as you're dying. if you can be at peace with your own pain about your own dying and your own sickness. So, the main teaching that's given some people when they're dying is, fundamental teaching is take refuge in Buddha. Now, if they haven't taken refuge before, you have to be quite clear about whether they wanted that, person's already been practicing taking refuge prior to their stillness or prior to their mortal or fatal illness, then we can support them to continue to practice into that world.

[09:31]

And the proposal is that If you can tune in to refuge in Buddha, no matter how much misery you're in, the taking refuge in Buddha, the taking refuge in Buddha's mind, that realization of that intimacy of Buddha's mind, no misery, no misery, no pain, no death, nothing can take that away from you. That's why it is recommended, because it is the reliable, the most reliable refuge that can take you through birth and death and birth and death and birth and death and birth and death. No other refuge is so reliable through the changes we have coming.

[10:33]

Sometimes people wonder, you know, about the Zen, how we don't have a teaching about, you know, like the bardos and stuff like that. You know, the intermediate realm that people go into and the pictures that happen as you start to die and as you're dying and so on and intermediate realm and rebirth and all that. Well, all that teaching, or not all that teaching, but a lot of that teaching is just from earlier, particularly in Buddhism, it's in how Jarmakosha and stuff, those stories, how that all works. And Tibetan Buddhists have brought tantra in and mixed it with both basic stories of death and rebirth. Dogenzenji, actually in a classical show of organza called Weimind, Doshun, discusses what to do as you approach death, yourself or with another person, how to go into death, intermediate round, approaching birth, birth, and then in life.

[11:45]

And what he recommends in that text, which he wrote or spoke while he was still alive, was he recommends taking refuge in the three treasures. As you approach death, he recommends taking refuge incessantly as you approach. And if you waste in assisting someone, then because they're having a hard time with their illness or whatever, you can assist them so that your mind is still... able to speak and so on, you can say the words for them to remind them of the refuge so that they can stimulate and support them to take refuge as they approach death. And as in dying and in death and even in the intermediate state, and as approaching birth, over and over again he says, take refuge, you triple treasure. And then as being born, take refuge, you triple treasure. And then after being born, throw off that life, take triple treasure.

[12:48]

In other words, take refuge in the triple treasure throughout all experiences of birth and death. That's what he wrote. That classical, for some reason or other, has not been published under the one. Okay. Which is briefly another thing which I told you before, I just tell you again, this is so moving to me, and that is that when Dolin's engine is sick, very sick and approaching his death, but he still had enough strength to do calligraphy. He wrote on a piece of paper, he wrote, Buddha Dharana Sangha Jewel. And he hung that calligraphy on that pillar in his sick room and walked around it taking refuge in Buddha Dharana Sangha. That's what he did. as he was telling.

[13:49]

Yes, Christine? Can you say something about the work that stayed behind his hand that much? Yes, yes. I will definitely get you to try. Now I don't know what I'm doing now. Now I'm doing this. Yes, yes. And when I first heard that, that Dogen Zenji did that, walking around, pillar-trending Three Treasures, taking refuge in the Three Treasures, I was surprised. I thought Dogen Zenji would sit cross-legged and practice Shikam Taza as he was dying. Because didn't he say that that is, what is it called? Total devotion to a mobile sitting. That is the... one characteristic of all Buddha ancestors, that's what they're always doing, right? I thought you would do that when you die. His final statement, sitting, die sitting.

[14:52]

I don't know exactly what he did at the last moment, but anyway, the thought then comes to me, well, maybe the reason why, not the reason why, but maybe this taking refuge is just sitting. Maybe that's what just sitting is, is taking refuge in Buddha. And I definitely now feel that way, that that first Bodhisattva precept helps us understand what it means to just sit. Total devotion to immobile sitting means total devotion to taking refuge in Buddha. Total devotion to the first and central Bodhisattva Preset, the Buddha, or the Buddha Mind. In the Ava Kamsaka Sutra, as I already mentioned, I'll say it again now,

[16:00]

It presents not six parameters, but ten. It presents the first six that we're talking about, giving through wisdom, and it presents four more. And those ten perfections correspond to the ten stages of bodhisattva. And then at the end of the presentation of the practice that applies the practices of each one of these perfections, at the summary section, Buddha says that whatever practices these bodhisattvas are doing, so in this stage, predominantly they're emphasizing giving. They're focused on giving. This is their specialty. But they're also doing, while they're practicing giving, while they're specializing in giving, as much as they can, they also practice conscientiousness, Mindfulness, patience, enthusiasm, concentration, and wisdom. The much as they can while they're concentrating on giving, they do the other five.

[17:02]

Then they move on to the next one. They concentrate on the next one. Then they concentrate on patience and so on. They're concentrating on patience in the third stage, in the third round. But as much as possible, they do the other five, two, or the other ten, the other nine. It says it over and over at the end of each section. that as much as possible they do all ten together, or all six together. But they emphasize one every time. But no matter which of these priests, no matter what practice they're doing, no matter what practice they're doing, they're always thinking about the three treasures. That's the one practice that goes through all practices according to Dalatom-Sakha-Saintra for Bodhisattvas. Thinking of Retro-Saintra for Treasure is the basis of all vows. So again, when Dogen Zanji says, you know, no matter what you're doing, you know, when you practice giving

[18:13]

Whether you're practicing behind speech, whether you're practicing beneficial action, whether you're practicing identity action, in other words, no matter what practice the Bodhisattva is doing, they're always totally devoted to your mobile city. They're always taking refuge in Buddha. So now, Christina, with what mind do you take refuge? With what mind do you go for refuge? Well, in a sense, well, you go with whatever mind you go with, right? You might go with the mind of, oh, I'm going to take refuge, and I'm just going to be a good deal for me. I'm going to do better than my neighbors after this. This is, you know, a gaining idea way of going.

[19:19]

What is the ultimate or ideal way of going to refuge in Buddha? The ideal way is to go for refuge in Buddha with the mind of Buddha. So it says, there's some text, you know, that when you take refuge in Buddha and you take refuge in Buddha, in Buddha, in your mind street, In your mind, in your being, you're taking refuge. Not like, I'm here, Buddha's over there. But that your mind is taking refuge in Buddha. This is the way we try to educate ourselves to take refuge. And when one takes refuge in Buddha, through your mind stream, through your heart stream, that these inconceivably wonderful things are said about taking refuge.

[20:24]

When you once, just once, in any lifetime, take refuge in the Buddha, you are, all the texts I've ever read, guaranteed Not every text I've read, but every text that talks about this and says that none of them say anything else but this about this topic. They all guarantee nirvana if you once take refuge in Buddha in this true way. Some of them don't mention it, but they don't say anything else. It doesn't do anything less than that. You are definitely... predicted and destined to achieve perfect enlightenment, if you once completely think of the Buddha and give yourself completely to that thought, and you just once, just once, when the preceptor says to you, in any lifetime when the preceptor says to you, now you receive the three treasures and you say, yes, and you say,

[21:37]

Now you repeat after me, and you say, yes, and you say, I take refuge in the Buddha, and then you say, I take refuge in the Buddha, and you say that, and then afterwards, you say, even after a part in Buddha, when you continue this practice, and you say, yes, and you say that with total renunciation. In other words, you have no other thought. You're not thinking of several things at once. You just say yes. You just plain say yes. You don't say yes, maybe. You don't say yes and what am I going to get out of it. You don't say yes to me. You just plain stupidly say yes. And you really mean it. And that's it. And then you get fixed. Whatever. On the good path. You may get in trouble later. If possible, we have stories about that, like what Dovi tells a story about the Buddha was giving a talk and there was a female dragon gang to visit and she was covered with, you know,

[22:41]

He was covered with bad, what do you call it? Yeah, what do you call it? Yeah, right. Dragon. Dragon. So the Buddha said, come over here. And the Buddha took a little drink of water. And then you've seen these Indians do this, and they think of it. Have you seen any medicine? They blow this fine mist over you. When it did that, it blew this fine mist of the water coming out of it, mixed with the Buddhist saliva. And the dragon, she was completely healed and then, you know, transcended her dragonhood and a great monk and all that. And then somebody said, I don't know how it happened. Do you remember how it happened after that? The rest of the story is that because the Buddha first asked her, did she take refuge in the past? And in fact, that's why she was in a condition that she was in.

[23:42]

Because she had been a nun. And she violated all the vows. And so she could go, where I get acne. And then the Buddha says to her, because she once took refuge, I can do this for you. Right. Particularly, she did violate the law, but she specialized in one. And that was, she used her position as a nun to get sexual favors. And she used her authority as a nun to seduce people. And she picked that up enough so that she got this difficult situation. But she did once. take refuge, really. And that always got her through. She'd get another chance, you know. And also what it discussed is how this one lady was, you know, encouraging, I think it was, she was an aristocrat, a Japanese, two Chinese aristocrats, she was encouraging her courtesans to take refuge in the Buddha to receive the bodhisattva precepts.

[24:53]

And someone said, oh no, I don't do that because if you receive the precepts of any violin, you get in trouble, right? If you make a commitment and you slip, you start to even want to do that. You say, well, yeah, that's true, that might happen, but still, if you do it once, even though you may get in trouble later from going against them, still, you guarantee... Buddha, Nirvana. Okay, so... There's many stories like this about the incredible benefits. Incredible. The inconceivable. It's hard for us to believe. I guess maybe they are sort of incredible. It's hard for us to give our credit, to give our hearts to these stories. It's not hard to believe. Actually, I'm afraid to tell the stories again, because I don't want to alienate people.

[25:54]

But there's a lot of them. So that's why... What will alienate people? Well, just if they hear this thing about the female dragon, because they might think, oh, this is some kind of... cult or something. You know, you're saying if you take the revolution, this great thing will happen, you know, they might think you're trying to talk them into something by these very high recommendations. I don't want people to think we're trying to sell them up to build goods. That's what I mean. Does that make sense? One of the things I liked about Zen was that, from my point of view, it looked like it was just sort of sitting there waiting for us to come and jump in. It never said, hey, come on over here and practice Zen. It's the best. It's more like, well, we're sitting here, you know. Well, I practice Zen in the morning if you want to come, fine. Rather than, well, you sitters, get off the street and come in.

[26:56]

Yes. Done. Done. If you say, I'm taking refuge in the Buddha because you want to be liked by somebody, or I'm on the law or whatever, are you really taking refuge in the Buddha? No. You're just saying the words and you don't really mean it. You just want to use Buddha to, you know, get sexual favors or whatever. And that's not taking refuge. Taking refuge in Buddha is, as Suzuki Roshi said, just to be yourself. Now, if you're a greedy person who wants to exploit people and stuff like that, then taking refuge in Buddha means that you're just a greedy person who wants to exploit people. That you're just that.

[28:01]

No more, no less. You admit it. You renounce being, you renounce trying to, you know, if you admit that you're a greedy person trying to exploit people, to yourself and to others, that partly protects them. You know, you should have a sign called exploiter. So you have this tendency to exploit people, but you admit it, you confess it. Exploiting people is not good. But that an exploiter is an exploiter. The fact of an exploiter being an exploiter, that is exactly Buddha. Buddha is not that an exploiter is an exploiter. Buddha is that a deluded person is a deluded person is precisely what is meant by Buddha. That a cruel person is a cruel person. That is what is meant by Buddha. That a kind person is a kind person. That's what is meant by Buddha.

[29:01]

That you are exactly yourself. The fact that you are you, exactly like that, that is Buddha. But that means you have to re-announce everything to realize the state of being yourself. You have to realize any kind of gaining idea. Renounce any kind of gaining idea. So although you may be a person who has genuine ideas, you renounce improving that person or meddling that person, and you admit that you're that person, and then you naturally take refuge in Buddha. That mind which doesn't mess with what's happening, which embraces light as it has come to be in this moment for that person, that's the mind which has no abode. That's to mine like a wall. That's to mine like wood. So there you are, being wherever you are, with all your, you know, stuff. Nasty, petty thoughts.

[30:03]

What do you do with that? Well, you don't try to fix it up. You don't try to deny it. You don't try to shove it all on somebody else. You just be like a piece of wood. There I am in the middle of being a jerk. A piece of wood. Just lick it. And now, suddenly, the nastiness evaporates, and here I am sitting in the middle of positive feelings for people, appreciation for people. I have all this great energy. I love everybody. I'm grateful to everybody. Piece of wood. Not like, oh, now, now I can start a little grasping here. I didn't mind not grasping being a jerk. I didn't mind just sort of leaving alone that I was a rat. I'm also going to leave alone being a great priest, right? being a great Bodhisattva, I must leave that alone, not deny it, not grasp it. That is how to take refuge, that is how to say yes to what's happening, and that is Buddhism, that is just sitting.

[31:11]

So that is the mind with which you take refuge, but that means that is the mind with which the refuge is in your mind's dreams. When the refuge is in your mind's dreams, you have a mind like that. That's what's called thinking of Buddha. Thinking that way. Isn't mindfulness including all that? Yes. Mindfulness included. When you're mindful, just mindful, when you play, whatever you are, you just are aware of that and that's it.

[32:17]

No more, no less. When you are just yourself, you are mindful. That is perfect, pure mindfulness. Now, it is also possible that we're mindful in a limited sense about ourselves. Like we live in a little compartment about ourselves. Like we live in a compartment of, I'm a nice little Zen student or something. Or I'm a woman, I'm a man. We live in some small part of ourselves. And we're mindful of that. This is not all we are. So, that's the best you can do now? Fine. If you keep practicing that way, gradually people will come and knock on the door and say, you're also this out here, and you're also that, and you're also that. So gradually in your sense of yourself, your full complexity will be admitted and confessed. But you continue to practice mindfulness of that too. So when we say just be yourself, we don't mean just be yourself according to some very small current idea of yourself.

[33:22]

We mean be yourself completely, all that you are. And then be mindful of that. Patty? This summer, I think I'm hungry. He just talked to me. He said, if somebody asked me that God is... I don't say God is mindfulness. You're impugnily over that? He just said the same thing. Yeah. Or, what is enlightenment? Enlightenment is that when you drink a cup of tea... You taste the tea, a little bit of bitterness there, you taste the tea. Just tasting that tea, that is enlightenment. Just being aware of that taste.

[34:26]

Pure mindfulness, drinking tea, being this person, that's it. You're Buddha at that time. Now if you want to talk about your reservations and your lack of presence with that, then you're bringing up not being yourself, and then you're bringing up what's called, you know, I guess, resisting taking refuge and your reservations and ambivalence and all that. That's not Buddha. But admitting that reservation, as it is, and including that just as it is, that's Buddha again. Instead of drinking tea, you're not drinking your reservation. You taste it as it is. Now, I'd like to bring up another aspect of this, and that is oftentimes when you speak of taking refuge, or when you hear people talking about taking refuge, and they talk about taking refuge in Buddha, they sometimes talk about

[35:39]

what a Buddha is like. They sometimes say, well, if you're going to take refuge, it might be a good idea to find out what it is that you're taking refuge in. What are Buddhas like? How are they? And then there's various descriptions of what a Buddha is like, so you can see about whether you want to take refuge in that such a thing. And when they talk that way, they talk about like it's a Buddhist Shatyamuni, like it's somebody who lived a long time ago, or that it's a Buddha Maybe there's now, but anyway, something external. They talk about something external. So I'm presenting, in my own mind, I have a little bit of difficulty with this, and also when I think of talking to other people, I have a little bit of difficulty with this internal-external thing. And I sense, in talking to other people, there's some difficulty with this internal-external thing, or how to harmonize these two ways of talking about taking refuge in Buddha.

[36:39]

So this... So I said, Zuko Rishi said, to take refuge in Buddha means to just be yourself, or to take refuge in Buddha is just you, yourself, sitting zazen. That's what taking refuge in Buddha is. But then I imagine somebody, and myself too, that if taking refuge in Buddha is just that, then it's kind of like, well, where is the Buddha? Me, being present there, and this is the mind of Noah Bowen, so the Buddhacy is rather ungraspable in that case. Where is it? Where is the Buddha? And of course the Buddha is formless. Because each, you know, each person being herself or himself, exactly, that's Buddhist. So there's not like some form of Buddha that distinguishes between Meya Buddha and David Buddha and Jin Buddha.

[37:47]

But it's not exactly that Meya is Buddha, but Meya being Meya is Buddha. And Meya being Meya is a formless thing. It's the same formless thing as David being David and Jean being Jean and Denise being Denise. It's the same thing. It's the same formless thing. It's identical. It's the same Buddha in association with each person being precisely what they are, exactly what they are. So if the Buddha is formless, then again, we feel kind of queasy. And it's not this, and maya being maya is not internal to maya. It's not in maya. Maya being maya is not maya. Maya being maya transcends maya. Maya being maya connects with David being David and Scott being God and John being John and Lorraine being Lenny. It's all the same. We are all connected in that Buddha, which is the transcendence of our limitation through the fact of our limitation being just that and nothing more.

[38:51]

Our limitation is the sight at which we realize Buddha, but Buddha transcends that. It connects with all other beings in the same way. But again, we feel like, well, that's kind of indefinite, and we kind of want to get a hold of it. So sometimes they talk about it like a Buddha on the statue, or a Shakti Guni Buddha, and you can talk about Shakti Guni Buddha's qualities. But then people have trouble with that, like, well, then there's a Buddha over there, you know, and then people think you're kind of talking and taking refuge in Shakti Guni Buddha. over there. So they have problems with that. So there's problems with the formlessness of our own Buddha nature and there's problems with projecting it out into some historical figure or head of the set. It's very dynamic to start to find what's the actual station of this mind of no abode that actually takes refuge and is the refuge. So one way to turn it is that when we talk about the Buddha and talk about how great the Buddha is, that is also describing qualities of this formless mind.

[39:57]

But the qualities of this formless mind aren't formless, but the formless mind can manifest all these wonderful qualities which we can put into words and talk about. So what are some of the qualities and good points about the Buddha? You know, Shakyamuni Buddha, for example, and other Buddhas. Well, some of the qualities. One quality is the Buddha is completely beyond all danger. The historical Buddha was beyond all danger. beyond all trouble, beyond all misery, were completely free, you know, and skated and flew through misery very freely and not harmed by it. And then they tell stories about Buddha.

[40:59]

Do you know Buddha had kind of a hard time? Did you ever hear about that? People actually were mean to Buddha. Can you believe it? People like his cousin made a machine for, you know, helping him with big rocks. He made a machine, not just pushed a rock on him, but made a machine to lift up big rocks and throw them at Buddha. That's what they say. I don't know what that is, but in that story, his cousin tried to kill him, but he didn't get hurt. Somebody released some wild, you know, running elephants at him. His disciples, his arhat disciples who had magical powers, flew up in the sky to avoid the elephant. Buddha just sat there and the elephant, you know, relaxed. There are several occasions where Buddha was attacked violently and was not hurt. Buddha also, do you know Buddha had back problems? I should say back in the streets.

[41:59]

Sometimes he couldn't give a talk because his back hurt so much. So he reclined and had a noun to give a talk for him. You know, kind of like Charlie McCarthy. So he gave a robe and not the side up on the thing. Buddha reclined and had a noun to give a talk because Buddha couldn't sit up. A Buddha, can you imagine a Buddha, not being shocked when he couldn't sit up because he had a back problem? That's what they say. That was very encouraging to me. when the Buddha got sick he actually got sick you know his final illness with the eating and stuff and he got he actually got a stomach ache it actually hurt his stomach and he got regular stuff like we get like diarrhea and blood and he got dehydrated you know he had a hard time like we would you know like sweating and You know, he's walking along with Ananda, you know, kind of like, oh, God. You know, he was having a hard time. Maybe that's exaggerating.

[43:01]

But anyway, he's having a hard time. And he sat down at one point. Maybe you know his story. He sat down by a river. And he asked Ananda to go get him some water. And Ananda... Ananda says something about it. He has some objection. Does anybody know what his problem was? Yeah, the water is muddy. The water was muddy. Like we love water, you know. And Buddha said, no, no, we purified it. And I said, no, no, it's muddy. He said, no, go get the water. No, no, it's muddy, Ananda. This is one of the cases where, you know, Buddha was gentle and sweet, but that was severe when, you know, the mother, go get the water. G-O. He said, I don't know what you got the water from. He wanted the water. The guy wanted the water. The Buddha, of course, wanted water. He needed water. He was dehydrated. In other words, he was like us. He got a problem or something. But did that in any way?

[44:04]

Did that in any way? Hurt him. I would say, no, no, no. Then he got sicker. Did that in any way hurt him? No, no, no. Did it in any way interfere with what he was here for in his teaching? The teaching he gave while he was sick? Well, read his past scriptures. Read the last things he taught. Aren't they as great or as great as any teaching he gave when he was hungry? Aren't they still here to encourage us? Was he hurt? No. He learned how to be free of this stuff. That's one of the qualities of Buddha. We take refuge. We return to this ability of a human being to realize a way of life that is not harmed by any kind of misery that goes on through all kinds of different, and good times too. He also could handle parties there.

[45:04]

Next quality. Because of this ability, He can also teach others how to be free of all harm and difficulty. So he can teach others how to do it. This is another reason for taking refuge in the Buddha. This teaching will work for you. It's a teaching which he adapted for you and me. Another reason for this being such a good thing is that the Buddha loved everybody. And felt compassion for all beings. All. Not just his friends. Not just the people who helped him. But all of them. And there's many examples of, you know, people who would have helped that nobody else would have helped. Like Boston Blackie. Anybody know the Boston Blackie kind of like slogan? He was a friend of those who had no friends.

[46:06]

What was the next line he used? Nobody knows. Anyway, this movie called the show called Boston Blackie in the beginning was he was a friend to those who had no friends. Buddha was a friend to those who had no friends. I was a little Christian. They sometimes say he was especially loving of the most miserable people and the people who at the worst he was friends with. He was also, however, friends of kings. And he was friends with everybody. Kings and the most miserable friends and enemies. He loved a passion for all beings. Now, this is like, you know, and then there's stories, you know, you can find stories about all these things to show how he was that way.

[47:08]

Historical stories. So then you've got this, you have trouble taking refuge in your own formless Buddha mind, which is just a fact of you being you. And the fact that you being you is exactly why you can truly transcend yourself, and that you put in mind, you have trouble with that. Then sometimes they say, well, this great being, you know, and all these historical proofs of how wonderful he is, then there's a problem with being eternal. But that doesn't mean that your own nature is internal. Anyway, I can go to that more later, but I just want to now talk about this dynamic of that by talking about Buddha, the way Shakyamuni Buddha was, you can describe or bring out the potential of this mind, of this formless mind of the transcendent nature of your being. that your your liberated mind is like that your liberated mind is beyond all harm your liberated mind can teach other beings how to be up beyond your liberated mind your liberated heart loves everybody even your enemies you love your enemies you have compassion for your enemies

[48:35]

You want to help your enemies. You give all help and support and teaching to your enemies the same as you would your friends and supporters. And that's the mind which has been recommended to take refuge in. Not the mind which wants to help some people, which is pretty good. That you want to help anybody is pretty good. That you want to help yourself is pretty good. But the mind which will not only help your friends and yourself, but the mind which will help everybody, including your enemies. That's the mind, which is actually the mind that arises spontaneously from you just being yourself. So, by going back and forth between thinking of, you know, homage to Shaky Muni Buddha, to devote yourself to Shaky Muni Buddha, and his teaching, and the way he was, and the story you heard about, to want to be like that, to want to emulate that, to want to Be like that.

[49:41]

Think that way and then also turn it the other way and return to your own upright, deliberate mind, both two together, so that you develop a mind which is the mind which takes refuge in a booyah. Is it real hot again? Yes, of course. Well, okay, open some stuff here. It was hot when it came in. And I just want to raise a bunch of other problems here for starters. Another thing is that after you've taken refuge in Buddha, in different schools, Zen and Vajrayana, and I'm not sure, I can't say, I can actually cite a Theravada text, if somebody can show me that, I appreciate it. But after receiving the refuges, after taking refuge, at that point then, they say often, and now, don't, you know, don't have any other teacher.

[50:54]

And I was kind of cringed at that point. Because I figured another thing that attracted many to Zen is that Zen wasn't one of those tools that said, if you don't practice Zen, you're going to go to hell. If you're a Christian, you're going to go to hell. If you're a Jew, you're going to go to hell. If you're a Muslim, you're going to go to hell. But Buddhism didn't come on like that. But then at the end of taking refuges, once you're actually in the family, and you say, okay, then they say, and now don't have another teacher. Have no other teacher. Have trouble with that. That's a problem for us, I think, thinking about that, understanding that. And I don't want to immediately make that easy for you. I think it's a little bit of stuff across to chew on. It sounds almost like a sense of exclusiveness, but I would turn it a little bit to say it's more like you could see it, not so much as a method of exclusiveness, but more of helping you concentrate. A similar phenomenon is, again, the expression you hear over and over again in different traditions of Buddhism is not to associate with foolish common people, not to associate with cynics, not to associate with people who will say to you over and over, you know, you're really stupid to take refuge in Buddha, or, you know, you're really getting uptight not going with us to these places.

[52:27]

Come on, relax. And they're right, you should relax. But maybe the way you should relax, possibly, as it's often said, you should relax by going back to the city as I was in. Rather than relax by going into a bar. When you first take refuge, even though you really, truly did it, and basically you're all set, you're on the track, still you can fall. And there are again stories about people who, great, [...] great practitioners, bodhisattvas, who really did take refuge, and that's why they eventually did become great bodhisattvas. But then, during certain times of difficulty, they took refuge in something else. And it blew it. Not long term, it's short term. Now, for us, you know, we don't usually, we don't have like a, maybe some of us do, but most of us don't have a, I don't know, some of us don't have a like background religious tradition that we resort to when Buddhism doesn't work.

[53:37]

But some people have come to Buddhism from a religious tradition that worked somewhat, but not as thoroughly as the Buddha. And then when they're practicing Buddhism and they run into some real hard times, they think, Or maybe if I prayed to somebody else, I'd get some help. And praying to is okay, but taking refuge is said to be enough. So sometimes they say, it's like paying a bribe. Paying bribe is okay. So, like, if you're starving, if you're traveling across the desert and you're starving, and you're a Buddhist, it's okay maybe to go over to the mountain and power the mountain and make peace and offerings, and so on and so forth, and ask the mountain to give you some water. It's okay to pay homage, not homage, but it's okay to make offerings to the local deities for practical purposes, for the local powers.

[54:38]

practical purposes, it's okay to do that. It's just not okay to take refuge in this step. Maybe that's a little difficult, but this is a little bit different step. Taking refuge means you align yourself with that. I mean, this is what I'm going to use to take me through all difficulties. This is my subject commitment in my life. That's refuge. But going with that, you can make deals with people. It's okay. It might be beneficial. But I do not know. I feel these are difficulties, this potential explosiveness, not associating with people who will distract you. And I actually didn't finish my sentence there, is that when you first take refuge, although you really do it, you can be distracted and undermined. When you really have, you know, when the refuge has really taken effect on you, you can go anywhere and hang up with anybody. Associated, I don't think means that you don't go help people in bars and in difficult situations.

[55:43]

I think it means you don't associate with them. You don't do the practices that they do until you're very advanced. And then if it's helpful, you will even do... He'll do whatever is helpful at a certain point. But at a certain point, if you do certain things, it won't be helpful to them, it won't be helpful to you. It'll just distract you. I think in the Christian tradition, they have this expression, somebody told Jesus not to go home, right? Don't go home, Jesus, to your hometown. And one time, I was going to go on a trip, and he said, okay, I'm sick, you can go. And I got back and he said, you shouldn't have gone. So the basic idea is you don't go home you know, the expression is, if you go home, they'll call you by, and this is both in Christian and Zen literature, I heard it also in the chapter of Shobo Genzo, some great Zen master asked his teacher, what is that Zen master, about going home, and the teacher said, same thing as Zikorishi did, he said, okay, when the guy got back, he said, you shouldn't have gone, he said, if you go home, they'll call you by your old name, it's exactly what they said to Jesus, they'll call you by your old name, and

[56:58]

When you become a Buddhist, you get a new name, which is the name, you know, you're Buddha. When you go home, they'll call you by your own name. They'll say, come on, good old drinking buddy, or sex buddy, or drug buddy, or whatever it was. They'll call you by your own name, and you'll be drawn, perhaps, if you're not developed enough. You'll be drawn back into ways that you ever used. Get confused. Yeah. So if you're not developed, you're not mature, don't go do that. I can manage your limitations. But again, that's a tricky thing. The most difficult people to visit, of course, is your parents. Or your children. I think I've brought up some of the difficulties that the tradition offers, some of the difficult statements I'd like to put out at the beginning rather than trip you up with it later, so I pretty much have confessed some of the difficulties that have come up around this incredibly pure attitude of saying yes to the Buddha mind, saying yes to your own true nature, returning to your own pure awakeness.

[58:13]

And then there's these difficult comments that are made afterwards. Yes, do you want to? I'm ready to answer just like that. It also seems to me like taking refuge in Buddha is taking refuge in God or whatever. And it says that Buddha doesn't rest in any particularity. Yeah, Buddha has three bodies. One is the law body. That's the primary one you get back to. The law body is, you know, as I said before, that Buddhism is not one of those religions like Buddhism, Christianity, and so on. Buddhism, when Buddhism goes beyond Buddhism, that's Buddhism. When Christianity goes beyond Christianity, when God goes beyond God, that's Buddha, or that God. Buddha gives up being Buddha and will be God. The Buddha says to Sabudhi, is there any dharma, anything by which the Buddha has attained the utmost right and perfect awakening?

[59:24]

Is there anything by which the Buddha attained? And Sabudhi says, no indeed, O Lord, there is no dharma by which the Buddha has attained the utmost right and perfect awakening. Well said, Sabudhi. And that is precisely why it's called the Upmost Right and Perfect Enlightenment. It's because it doesn't depend on anything. It can happen anyplace. It doesn't depend on not being like mea. It also doesn't depend on being mea. It just depends on mea being mea. It doesn't anything. Just thinking themselves is all it depends on. And that's already established. So it doesn't depend on anything. So whatever. It's complete transcendence. But there's another body of Buddha, which is the transformation body of Buddha, is that Buddha has to come into particular transformations of particular beings in the present. That's the nirmanakaya Buddha. That's part of the aspect of Buddha, is that it can come into a particular form.

[60:25]

And that's the form that helps people in daily life. John? John? I've wondered what refuge or getting refuge is in Sanskrit, Bali, Chinese. Yes. You know, because, I mean, I hear it different ways in English. I hear, sometimes I hear it as just, you know, going and fighting. Oh, that's a word. Yes. Or... Do you want to do that now? Do you want to do that now? First of all, the English word refuge means refuge. Refuge means to fly. Re means back. Refuge means to fly back, to go back, to return. But refugia also means to have a little shelter or sanctuary, someplace where you're safe and protected. So the English word refuge has both the meaning of something you can depend on to protect you, but also going back.

[61:31]

You know, it means flee, actually. Flee back. Yeah, so it means flee back. What? Flee from your attachments back to your true nature. Okay, Sanskrit, Saranam Gaccham. Gaccham means to go. Saranam means go to Saranam. Saranam means both, means return, and means a safety place. Okay, the Chinese, which is, you know, which is the same as Japanese, kie. Ki means to return. It also means to plunge in completely. It means to mindlessly dive into something without any thought. That's the way it takes for a future. And it just turns out that when you mindlessly jump into something, guess where you go? Always. where you are. You return to where you are when you mindlessly jump in completely to what's happening.

[62:38]

That's the key part. Total fleeing back to your original nature without any thought, any deliberation, any deals, any gain, any loss, just flat out return. And then A needs to depend or rely on. or be sheltered by or supported by. So the Chinese translated Saranam into two characters. So they say, so Gacchami is to go, or at least sometimes to take, go, to returning and relying. So there's two dimensions. Sorry, what was Saranam? Saranam is Pali and Sanskrit. And it means both, that's what those meanings are called returning and relying. In Chinese, it means two characters. One means to return and also plunge into, and the other character means to rely or depend on, to be sheltered by.

[63:48]

And refuge has, English word refuge is good, it has those two meanings. So it's kind of a fortunate choice. I have a, I guess, a clear understanding where it seems like what you're talking about, As I heard, it's more about mindless jumping in and it was completely seen in oneself. But I'm wondering about the protective sheltering aspect of it. I mean, to rely on something where there's nothing to rely on. Yes. Right. Well, that's why I said that's difficult for us to jump into formlessness of our own nature. but to jump into the transcendence of our own being. Pretty hard to jump into something that's so fundamental and formless, right? So that's why sometimes they talk about, well, there's Shakyamuni. You need a form? Okay, there's Shakyamuni Buddha. That way the Shakyamuni Buddha was, and some of his disciples have been,

[64:50]

is what it's like when you live from that formless place. When you're in that formless place, you're free of all danger. You know how to be free of all danger. You can teach others how to do it. And also, you're free of all limitation about who you're going to teach. And you're free of all limitations of love. You have no way to stop your love. You're not smart enough to not love somebody. So you love people that somebody might say, you shouldn't love him. Somebody, I don't know who says that, but somebody might say, don't love him, that's going to be a problem. Buddha is too dumb to not love someone. And also Buddha doesn't not help. So that mind also doesn't not help anybody. So it's hard for us to just... we have trouble trusting ourself.

[65:52]

We have trouble trusting our own basic goodness, our own basic buddha nature. We have trouble with that, I think. So we think we want some kind of like a, I don't know what, some kind of a device to sort of protect the world from us just in case our formless true self would be some destructive or some way. That's why before you take refuge, you should admit I'm a dangerous character, potentially. I have, you know, I can hurt people. I admit it. And I can hurt people in my own particular ways. I'm not generally harmful. I'm specifically harmful in many ways. Other people can harm people in other ways. Sometimes I can't harm people. I don't have the ability. So I admit my humanness, my limitations, my pettiness, my nastiness. I admit all that. That's the ground upon which I am liberated. I accept my destiny. I confess my destiny. And then the foremost liberation from my destiny is the Buddha mind, and that is the same mind with which I go for refuge.

[67:00]

That mind wants to go home to Buddha. But it's hard for us to trust ourselves, so this is our problem, this is our struggle. Yes? One thing I'm hearing in... how you're translating Olly, that's being really true for me, is that you're saying there's two separate goings. You're going towards the tone. You're going towards we lie. So it sounds like... Plus, even when we chant that, we're saying two times, I go through it, three times. You're going towards not just towards a place, but you're going towards a process. Yes, you're going towards a process. I continue to go back to going back. Yes. Right. And process... is ungraspable and formless means that it can be any form.

[68:00]

It doesn't mean it's nothing. It means it can be any form. Namely, it can be working with this, which is mindfulness. Yes. Is it possible for Maya to be anybody else besides Maya? Pardon? Is it possible for Maya to be anybody else but Maya? No, but it's possible, very easy for Maya to dream of being somebody besides Maya. Definitely. Even though she's dreaming that, then I don't understand if it's impossible for you to be anybody but yourself. Yes. Exactly what, taking refuge those words, you know, when you say that? Yes. I don't see what it does. Well, another way to put it is, we dream of who we are, and if we admit the dream fully, we wake up from the dream. Waking up from the dream is taking refuge those words.

[69:03]

And when you wake up from the dream, that awakeness carries you through all difficulty, and the difficulties are the dreams you're having. And it helps you teach others how to get through their difficulties that they're having, their dreams of misery, which they are really suffering from. I mean, it's real suffering about a dream. I'm really suffering from the dream that you're a jerk. and that you hate me, and that I can't talk to you because you'll hit me. I'm suffering from that dream. I feel terrible about it. You don't even agree with that dream. You think, I love you, I'm your friend. But I'm suffering from my dream about my relationship with you. It's very painful, my dream. And Buddha comes to help me wake up from my dream. And not into another dream, like, oh, Lee's really a great guy. But maybe I'll switch to another dream.

[70:08]

Golly, he's really a great guy. He'll wake up from that dream, too. It's the waking up from the dream. It's switching from the stream of dreams to the stream of awakening. And you need to keep taking refuge, cause someone, isn't it? Yeah, that's what I said at the beginning. The bodhisattvas are constantly thinking about what they think. They think about it. In other words, bodhisattvas think. They're not like, you know... Bodhisattvas are constantly thinking. What are they thinking about? They think about Buddha. What does it mean to think about Buddha? It means to think of formless transcendence of what? Of exactly what you are. So you have to be mindful of where you are, completely, thoroughly grounded in drinking your water and standing on earth and taking notes and frowning and whatever else you're doing. You have to be mindful of where you are and then think of Buddha, which is nothing other than exactly what you are.

[71:20]

which is transcendence of yourself. They're always thinking of that, turning that over, always thinking about that. And they also think of dharma. And they also think of sangha. They're thinking about these things all the time. Constantly taking, which means they're constantly going for refuge in the triple treasures. They're always doing this, always doing that. They may not be thinking about it literally like saying Buddha, They may be thinking of making their mind like a wall. That's the same thing as thinking of Buddha. They may be just telling the truth. I feel this way. I feel this way. I feel that way. I'm thinking this. This completely being mindful of what you're doing, that's thinking of Buddha too. Because there's no form of thinking of Buddha. I mean, Buddha has no form. So whatever way you think of it, that thought is not Buddha. But you think of it anyway. Most of us sometimes take breaks in that. So these bodhisattvas are always thinking about it. They're really into it.

[72:24]

So there are leaders, there are examples that sort of show us that it is possible they're suggesting to think about it all the time no matter what you're doing. And one of our ancestors, what's his name? Say again, Gyoshi. Gyoshi means walking, thinking. Walking, thinking. Thinking, walking. And they gave him that name because wherever he walked, whatever he was doing, he was always thinking about Buddha. He was a quiet guy. He was busy. Always thinking of, you know, how to help people, how to love people, you know, how to be free of suffering, how to help others be free of suffering. Always thinking about that. So he's our, you know, we have ancestors with names like that. Awesome. Is there some way to distinguish between a dream and not a dream? Distinguishing between dream and not a dream is a dream. Okay.

[73:27]

Distinguishing between things is discriminating consciousness. That's dreaming. So what's the problem? There's another question there, I can see it. Yeah, discriminating. I'm trying to conjure up something that is not that... Right, so you're trying to dream another dream, which is fine. It's kind of like one mirror and... It's a stream of dreams. The stream of dreams will not be destroyed. by taking refuge in Buddha. Taking refuge in Buddha means that as you're dreaming in this dream, or as you're dreaming a dream, you see the dreams a dream. The content of Buddha's mind is dreams, being seen as dreams. The content of non-discriminating wisdom is dreamland, seen as dreamland.

[74:30]

That's called waking up. When you're in a dream and you know up to dream, you're right. You've just awakened to some extent. This is along the same lines. What about if you're answering Lee about having a dream about someone who's going to hit you, or maybe someone who's going to be deceptive, and you know you're dreaming, you're superimposed over this, but that person would actually hit you or deceive you. So there's like a hostility in the dream. And so how do you discriminate then? Because you're trying to be... You know, in that line, which is seeing Buddha in this person who will kick you or deceive you or whatever. So if you're trying to see them being beyond that... No, you're not trying to see them being... No, no, no. It's all I've confused on how to be... You don't try to see them as being beyond that.

[75:33]

You don't do that. It's not like I look at you and I have this dream of you and I try to see Belinda on the other side of the dream. That's another dream, of trying to see Belinda on the other side of the dream. Recognize our fault if you're going to hit me. Well, that's not necessarily fault that might be a good thing. If they're hitting me. But I like honesty. I mean, be honest. You say this person's a... No, you say... No, that's not honest. It's not honest for me to say that this person's going to hit me. It's honest for me to say I think this person's going to hit me. That's what I think. That's honest. That's what I think. I admit what I think. That's honest. I think you're going to hit me. Am I right? And you might say yes. So, one of you, you know, good guess. But I don't try to sort of say, oh, now Kit, you're a really nice person who would never hit me, but she looks like she's going to hit me, but I should try and switch my mind over into thinking that she won't hit me. Both of them, that's just another kind of dream.

[76:34]

that's maybe you could call it an afflictive emotion or afflictive thought to go around seeing everybody's going to attack me but I'm not saying you shouldn't think that way you can think everybody's against you and doesn't like you and is trying to defeat you and get rid of you if you think that way that's pretty difficult to think that way it's kind of uncomfortable, right? what I'm proposing is that you practice renunciation and confess that you have that thought And if you can completely see that this is how you feel, this is what you feel is happening, you're not riddled from that. You will be liberated from that dream. Just as you would be liberated from the dream of everybody loves me. Everybody's my friend. It's true, you know, you can say it's true, everybody is your friend, but still, even though they may be, still, I dream that they're my friends. There are millions of ways to dream that everybody is your friends. I always have a dream about how they are our friends, or that some of them are friends and some of them aren't.

[77:36]

I have all these dreams. And those dreams are the content of non-discriminating wisdom. Suzuki Roshi said, non-discriminating wisdom does not mean you don't discriminate. It means... You study everything. So like you're dreaming of your enemies, you study that dream. You're dreaming of your friends, you study that dream. You're dreaming of we're half friends and half enemies, you study that dream. You study everything. That's what non-discriminating wisdom does. The others say, well, this is a good thing to study and this is not. It studies everything. Everything is a great opportunity to realize Buddhist wisdom. That's non-discriminating wisdom. Always study, always learning. So that the discrimination happens, like this is Grace and that's Charlie, discrimination happens, but I don't let that discrimination stop when you can study. I study all the time, study, study, study. That's what it means to practice non-discrimination, is that you study everyone, you respect everyone.

[78:38]

So it sounds like you were saying yesterday when you were talking about confession, that even the Buddha needed to confess because he was still dreaming. That even as a Buddha, the Buddha dreams and he confesses. But I get this impression, this image of a shudder, experience where he dreams and then he corrects us because he realizes he's dreaming. Realizing you're dreaming is a correction in the sense. It's a correction in the sense that you're liberated from your dream. He doesn't correct it like, I don't know what, fix the dream. Buddha understands that everyone is Buddha. But Buddha also has a dream of who's suffering how. Buddha has a dream about how he has intestinal problems. He has a dream about that. And he just admits it's a dream.

[79:42]

That's enough. It's enough. Then he wakes up. Wakes up. Everything that happens to Buddha, Buddha wakes up from. What? He has intestinal problems. Oh, I see. From what you just said. Namely, what you said is he has intestinal problems. See, that's reality. He actually has them. So there's some need among human beings to make what's happening a little bit more than just what seems to be happening to me. We have that tendency. For example, we say, I have intestinal problems. And I don't just say I have intestinal problems. In other words, I think I have intestinal problems or I've been diagnosed with intestinal problems or I have a pain here. We tend to make it a little bit more than that. We give the mind a boat. We give the mind a boat. That's our tendency to do that. And then...

[80:44]

We're going a little too far there. But we can also admit that. And also that causes us more pain. So the Buddha was not attributing essence to his pain. That's why. That's how. He's free of his pain. His pain doesn't inherently exist. Therefore, you could be free of it. If pain was inherently existent, there would be no way to be free of it. It wouldn't be able to niroga. It wouldn't be able to cease if it had inherent existence, because inherently existent, they don't end. But suffering independently co-arises. Therefore, we can be free. But it's not how I sort of pretend that you're not suffering. It is actually by being mindful of precisely how you're dreaming of your suffering. Someone else has a totally different view on your suffering. The amoeba and your stomach have a totally different view on your suffering. It's not that you understand, just because it's in your body, it's not like you're the universal monarch expert on your suffering.

[81:48]

You have your take on it. I have my take on it. That's our take. That's our dream about our experience. If we admit it as a dream, that's what Buddha would do, so we wake up. It doesn't mean the dream goes away, though. It doesn't mean the pain evaporates. He keeps, step by step, suffering along, going back to the place he's going to die. Just pain like everybody else, dreaming step by step. He's just an ordinary person. But every ordinary experience that happens to our Buddha mind is a sight for enlightenment. Enlightenment. But they also say, you know, when Buddha walked, actually Buddha walked four inches off the ground. But even so, he left little imprints on the ground with the dharma wheel, you know, imprint. And all the bloods underneath the footprint attain liberation. That's what they say. But another point of view is Buddha is walking along and every step, if he's got stomach problems, every step he feels his stomach problems, too.

[82:53]

But because he's liberated from simple mindfulness, pure mindfulness, because he's liberated on every pain, earthworms are helped. They get the idea. from his feet. They can tell by watching how the feet come down. Oh, they get the Dharma through the feet, you know. The Dharma comes across through the way the feet come down to the ground. He loves the earth. His feet say, I love the earth. After passing towards the earth, he's teaching the earth how to be free. There goes the kitchen. So since the kitchen's going, maybe we should too.

[83:51]

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