This morning's meeting? How's that in the back? Good? It is a farewell meeting for all of us to say goodbye to a year, 1990. It's been a a very good year. Right? It's been difficult. It's been... It's been... A lot of horrors have happened. We've lost many of our dear friends and teachers. We've had great joy and sorrow in this year.

[01:02]

We've come very close to war, and so far it hasn't happened. And I think we're all grateful. I think everyone's grateful that it hasn't happened yet, or almost everyone. Maybe some people aren't, I don't know. But anyway, I'm grateful that so far this war has not happened, a big one anyway. And we look forward to the next few weeks to see if we can continue to avoid going to war, continue to somehow avoid human beings slaughtering each other as much as possible. So farewell to 1990.

[02:13]

And also I personally am going to go away for three months to the mountains. to sit with a group of people in meditation. So I personally want to say farewell to you all. I hope you all fare well on the path of awakening and the path of peace and love. And I want to This morning I want to sing to you, sing to you about, sing you my song, to sing you the song of our tradition of meditation, our tradition of love.

[03:15]

This is not a lecture. It's a presentation of a song. But before I present my song, I want to ask your permission. Do you allow me to sing this song to you? Thank you. Then I want to do it. The basic song that I want to sing is that all living beings, without exception, all living beings in their wholeness, in their whole being,

[04:25]

what we call Buddha nature. Every living being in this whole world, as they really are, is what we mean by awakened nature, are completely light of compassion and wisdom. And the most essential thing for us is to realize this light which we are. And bring our body and mind, bring our life in among other people so that they can see this light, so that they can recognize this light and be encouraged to find it in themselves.

[05:39]

Everyone has this light. But if you look at it, you can't see it. And it's dark and dim. It's essential to realize this light, and yet you can't see it, you can't look at it. Because it's completely the same as what you really are. So the Zen path is the way of realizing and manifesting this light by doing nothing at all. By just sitting. Sitting. to trust this light of wisdom and compassion so completely that you don't do anything but simply directly sit still and realize it.

[07:14]

You don't have to do anything. You only need the intention and the desire to bring this light alive in you completely. If you ask a Zen teacher, what is this light? She might say, it's this stovepipe. It's this handrail. It's this bitter cold morning. Another song I have today, or another way to sing this song, came to me.

[08:52]

It's from a movie I saw when I was a boy. I think I was about 10 or 11 or 12, something like that. And I saw this movie. I think it was called, ironically, Annie Get Your Gun. I'm not sure. I think that was the name of it. So some of you have probably never saw that movie. Did anybody ever see that movie besides me? People around 50 saw that movie. So this movie, I think, was starring, if I'm not mistaken, Mary Martin, right? And she was playing Annie Oakley. Annie Oakley. Does everybody know Annie Oakley? Do you know Annie Oakley? Annie Oakley, I guess, was a real performer in the Wild West.

[10:02]

And she was a very good shot with a gun. So I think maybe she played in Wild Bill Hickok's Traveling Circus, right? Is that right? Buffalo Bills. Yeah, Buffalo Bills. You know who Buffalo Bill is? Buffalo Bill was a cowboy who had a Wild West show. He traveled all over the country into Europe, and he brought this lady named Annie Oakley with him. Did all this fancy shooting. Now, was Annie Oakley... I think Annie Oakley might have been Wild Bill Hickok's girlfriend. I mean, Buffalo Bill's girlfriend. Is that right? I'm not sure. I think... In the movie, anyway, I think she loved Buffalo Bill. And so I don't remember the movie too well, but I remember this one song she sang. And actually, I don't even remember the song.

[11:04]

But that's one of the reasons why I wanted to sing this song this morning, because... I thought maybe somebody here did remember it. I remember part of it. Here's a part I remembered. It goes like this. Once I had a secret love that lived within the heart of me. Wow. Just how wonderful you are. Now I shouted from the highest hill Even told the golden daffodils That my heart's an open door

[12:29]

My secret love no secret anymore. You have a pencil? Huh? Could you write that down? Huh? Yeah. It's on the tape. Yeah, right. I think it recorded what I did, but not what you did. Okay, now let's do it again, okay? Did you write it down? I wrote part of it down. Once I had a secret love that lived within the heart of me. All too soon I played it by. Anyone patient to be free.

[13:32]

So I don't naturally start. But maybe there's something new. Just a little love and dirt pulls you off. And how I fell in love with you. I shouted from the highest hill. Even told the golden devil a deal. At last my heart's an open door. My secret love's no secret anymore. You see what a group of people can do?

[14:41]

Usually these songs that I remember parts of, when I find out the rest of them, I can't believe how Buddhist they are. A lot of the songs in our American culture really have the Buddhist message. Anyway, this light in us that's a secret is calling out, somewhat impatiently, but we don't want it to be impatient. Make it patient, okay? It's an urgent cry. It's urgent, but we shouldn't hurry, okay? Don't get excited about it and fall on your face. It's an urgent cry, this light. We must bring it out in order to bring peace in this world, but we also have to be careful and concentrated and calm as we bring this light out. Otherwise, we'll lose it. and forget it.

[15:47]

So actually the Zen emphasis is listen to the cry. Just be quiet and you'll be able to hear it. The cry for light, the cry for love, it's right inside. You don't have to do anything. It's built in. Just listen to it and sit still. And eventually we will all become completely radiant. And this is the greatest encouragement to people to not go to war. And it's fun. It's fun to be full of light. It's more fun than anything. It's not a low energy game.

[16:55]

But you've got to have a lot of faith in your heart. You've got to have a lot of faith that you are light and that you don't have to do anything to improve yourself. And yet, of course, you will improve if you believe in this light. And you start with your body. You just start with letting this body be there. Just let it sit. Whatever you're doing, whether you're walking, sitting, standing, or lying down, just let yourself be that body. Let that body sit still. Very simple, very beautiful, very useful, but sometimes boring because it's just you.

[18:12]

But if we can somehow be satisfied with just being ourselves, the light is manifest. I have, you know, I have a big book here Zen stories and with all these Zen stories are really stories about people helping each other bring forth mutually this radiant love and how to do it without being manipulative or distrustful of what you are. how to do it by just staying right where you are and looking and walking straight ahead moment after moment without ever knowing what straight ahead means.

[19:38]

Because straight ahead is not just your idea of straight ahead. Straight ahead is straight ahead. Listen. Listen. to what straight ahead is. Listen to that secret love. I feel that we have already heard the song today, and I really don't have much more to offer.

[22:27]

It really is simple, just sit. And just sit means let go of every other concern. Let go of all concerns and only devote yourself to just sitting. Give up every concern except just dying into the moment. Dying into the moment. Accepting what the universe brings.

[23:39]

And at that time, listen. Listen. to the song that is born there of a new life, of a new light. And if you can stay present for that new life, then you may be able to sing the song of what you see and what you hear. If not, just keep quiet and die again. And then wait for the next moment to be born. Listen and watch for that and be born with it. And keep going like that until this light completely circulates throughout your entire being.

[24:55]

and eventually you will sing this song from the top of the highest hill. You'll even sing to the golden daffodils. Daffodils, by the way, are good to plant around here because deer don't eat them. The only thing I can plant in my yard But it's hard to let go of every concern but this one concern. It's very difficult. It's not easy. It's simple, but it's not easy. We Zen folk stake our life on such a practice of abandoning everything, but just sitting, dying, and singing the song of life that's born out of that.

[26:18]

So we say, facing the wall, In the back, a spring flower blooms. Just face the wall and in your back, a spring flower blooms. There are many kinds of walls.

[27:26]

Right now we have a wall called imminent war. We're facing the wall of imminent war. Let's just sit still and face that wall until a flower of spring blooms in our spine and we can sing the song of that. urgent, alert, and calm, we face the possible disaster. With all sentient beings, with the best possible intention, we just sit and face this wall. And we hope that the light manifests in all beings.

[28:27]

Well, again, I think I said probably enough. If you don't quite understand, then don't be discouraged. It takes a long time to understand such a simple teaching. Twenty or thirty years it takes usually, but I think everybody understands pretty well already. It's just that the final details take a long time. It takes a long time to be able to do this practice continuously. I think actually everybody's already doing it somewhat. It's just hard to do it continuously. to be able to do it all day long, even when the wall turns into, you know, somebody facing you with a fierce, angry face, to be able to continually just face that wall, calmly sit there and say, hmm, is that so?

[30:18]

I just visited a mother who has a little baby and The baby was crying. And I was very impressed by the mother's response. The mother said, tell us about it. Tell us about it. Yeah, what are you trying, yeah, come on, tell us. And I said, that's great that you say that. Yeah, I think that's good. She said, there's a really strong desire to try to make the baby be quiet. Because, of course, the mother wants her own heart to be quiet. When the baby's crying, the mother's heart is kind of agitated. So, quiet the baby rather than

[31:21]

Tell us what it is. What is it? Tell us, yeah, I'm listening. So when the angry face or whatever kind of face that causes emotion to arise happens, when the awesome, horrible aspect appears, Oh, is that happening? Oh, I see. Tell us more. And not just being sarcastic. We really want to know. Calming our heart through listening rather than calming our heart towards trying to shut people up. Rather than squelch the disturbance, listen to the disturbance. And through that, find the creativity and the genius to turn it around, to make the monster laugh, to tell a joke, to do something so unexpected that the demon is totally disarmed.

[32:39]

But first of all, we have to face our own fear of this demon. sit there with it, to feel our own pounding heart, our own fear, our own anger, our own denial. And then the spring flower will open and the demon will smile. And we could take the demon home and put it on the altar. I think I've said enough. I will continue this some other time, some other place. And I hope you also continue it some other time, some other place.

[33:43]

So I want to end with one more song. This is a song I learned on TV from Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. What? Yeah. I don't know. We'll do one practice time, okay? Because some people did not grow up in the 50s in America. We have an international group here. This song is called, it goes like this. Happy trails to you until we meet again. Happy trails to you. Keep smiling until then. Happy trails to you till we meet again.

[34:55]

Did you get it? OK, one more time. Happy trails to you until we meet again. How he trails to you, he smiles now and then. How he trails to you, he smiles now and then. How he trails to you, he smiles now and then.

[35:28]

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