During the opening ceremony here, I said something like, I hope that we can discover and clarify and develop our ultimate concern, the ultimate concern of our life, and the ultimate concern of life is another way to express faith, so I'd like to begin this practice period by considering our faith, and I feel I have to be careful not to talk you into some faith.

[01:17]

I can tell you maybe about my faith, and I can also maybe not talk you into a faith, but at least encourage you to discover what your faith is, what your ultimate concern is. It might very well be the same as mine, but we'll see. I like the expression ultimate concern because it helps to ... it protects from the usual idea of faith as, I believe in something over there. Some people may believe in something as good, but they may not be involved in it, they may not be intimate with it. So ultimately, what are you concerned with? What in the end, when it comes down to the end of your life and the beginning of your

[02:31]

life, what is it? The word concern, the root of the word concern is to relate to, to be involved with, and even more at the basis of the root of it is, it refers to mix, to be mixed in a sieve before sifting. Literally, to be together in a sieve, but before the sifting, before you're separated from it. And I like it even more because the potential

[03:50]

there is that it's something that you can be together with, and then a moment later the sieve can shake and you're separated from it. So the word concern has this ability to be together with something that you can be separated from. So what is it that you can be together with, that with a little shaking you can be separate from? Well, many things probably, but what is the ultimate thing that you are concerned with, or what's the ultimate thing that you're together with that you can also be separate from? Each of you gets to find that out. So I tell you that my ultimate concern is enlightenment, which is the same to say as my ultimate concern is Zazen. And ultimate concern also means, what is it that you'll give everything else up for?

[05:00]

And for me, what is it that I trust, if I take care of that, everything else will fall in place? So although I want to be careful not to talk you into having the same faith or similar faith to me or anybody else, at the same time I propose to you, and also don't want to talk you into Zen practice, but I would tell you that in the tradition of Zen, I just want you to know that from what I've been able to find out, all of the people that we're talking about in this chant we

[06:05]

just did, all these Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, their ultimate concern for all of them, as far as I could tell, was enlightenment. And that basically, whenever they were on the job, although they had slips, but basically whenever they were doing their job as Bodhisattvas, they were thinking about one thing. They spent their whole lives as Bodhisattvas thinking of one thing, and the one thing they thought about was enlightenment, Bodhi. They're always thinking of Bodhi or Buddha. When they were thinking about other things, they were just in error, which they then would confess and repent for, which is also part of the practice. So I

[07:29]

am pointing to the mind which is prior to the separation, which is prior to the separation between people and enlightenment, between delusion and enlightenment. It's also prior to the distinction between possible and impossible. A lot of people who somehow wind up in Zen centers have said to me that enlightenment seems to be too lofty, they don't even like to think about it, and we don't use the word very much. It's almost taboo. But to say that you don't think enlightenment's possible for you is fine. To say that you think it's impossible is fine. We're talking about something prior to your opinion of possible and impossible,

[08:35]

something more basic, something more fundamental than whether you or I or anybody has ever been enlightened or can be. So in terms of my concerns, I'm not really ultimately concerned with the opinion of whether or not such a thing as enlightenment is possible. I am interested in studying the mind which makes the distinction between delusion and enlightenment. I am interested in studying the evolution of the mind of delusion, as many of you know. I'm interested in the psychology of ignorance, the psychology of attachment. It may turn out that we will study some texts which show how the mind evolves to create a

[09:59]

sense of self and other, how the mind evolves to develop a sense of separation of delusion and enlightenment, how the mind evolves in order to create objects and then form attachments and then cause various kinds of afflictions. But before studying such a text, I would like us all to be clear for ourselves of what's our very basic concern from which we come to study such texts or such teachings. Otherwise, if the basis isn't clear about how we're studying these texts, they could be a distraction. And if the basis is clear, we don't have to study these texts, we can study anything. But these texts would be alright too. And when I say the kind of

[11:08]

categorical statement that all the Bodhisattvas have always only thought of one thing and never anything else but, I don't mean that they go around saying Bodhi, Bodhi, Bodhi all the time necessarily. As a matter of fact, as far as I know, none of them have ever done that. I think from what I've seen that sometimes a lot of them do say, think Bodhi. They actually think the word Bodhi and they say Bodhi, they say Bodhisvaha quite a bit. But to always think of Bodhi doesn't mean you're always thinking of the word Bodhi. It means actually that you're thinking of something which is never stuck anywhere, that you're constantly thinking of what is never stuck, that you're constantly thinking of what is always free and unattached. So how can you think of something

[12:11]

that's free of being something? That's what the Bodhisattvas are thinking about all the time. And their minds create forms and when those forms happen, those forms seem to be stuck in that form, like the word Bodhi, as soon as you say it, it's stuck in the form Bodhi. But it's just an indication, it's just a finger pointing to this thing which is not stuck in the word Bodhi. It's also not stuck in the word not Bodhi. So thinking about Bodhi all the time means that they're constantly thinking about selfless practice, which means they're constantly thinking about just sitting, which means they're constantly thinking about not doing anything. But again, not doing anything for them means whether they're doing something or not doing

[13:23]

something doesn't make any difference, because they forgot the self and they can't remember what the difference between doing and not doing is. They've forgotten about a particular path, a fixed way of approaching this Bodhi. So they read texts and they don't read texts. They read the Heart Sutra and they don't read the Heart Sutra. They read the sky and they read the mountains and they don't read the sky and don't read the mountains. They're constantly producing a mind which has no abode. They're thinking about the mind which has no abode all the time. They're willing to give up everything else but that thought, and that thought doesn't

[14:31]

interfere with any other thoughts. You can think of the people you're thinking of right now and the thoughts you're having about them do not hinder the mind which has no abode. The mind which has no abode is arising right now and is not hindered by your thoughts. But Bodhisattvas are not thinking about their thoughts. They're thinking about the mind which has no abode, which is simultaneous with whatever thoughts you're having. So in other words, Bodhisattvas have the thoughts you're having, but they also have a mind concurrent with the thoughts you're having which has no abode. And thinking about that mind is all Bodhisattvas ever think of. The Book of Serenity, Case 3. Our great ancestor, the teacher of our founder,

[15:48]

Bodhidharma, whose memorial day it is today, his teacher, Prajnatara, after having lunch was asked by his host, Master why don't you read scriptures? Why don't you recite scriptures? It was traditional I think at that time, and it is today too, that when a king or a queen has you over for lunch, or even a peasant has you over for lunch, afterwards you may recite some scriptures for them and donate the merit to them and their wealth. So Prajnatara just ate lunch. After he finished lunch, that was it. And the king who was serving him this wonderful vegetarian feast says, well how about the recitation? And Prajnatara said, this poor wayfarer doesn't dwell

[16:56]

in body and mind when breathing in, doesn't get entangled in myriad circumstances when breathing out. This is the scripture that I recite. 100, 1000, 1 million scrolls. I'm always concerned with this scripture. It's not just a scripture of my breath, it's the scripture of while breathing, not getting entangled in anything, not dwelling anywhere, not dwelling even in a way to enlightenment or any form of enlightenment. In this way, I'm always reciting. So his ultimate concern was breathing in, not dwelling in body and mind, breathing out, not getting entangled.

[17:59]

That was his ultimate concern. He was always involved in such a practice. He said, but before I go any further, I just want to say, don't worry if you slip from your ultimate concern. Because as the chant you just did points out, bringing to mind when you slip, when you lack faith in this practice, that repentance melts away the root of deviation from the practice. So even if you intend to not dwell in body and mind as you inhale, and not get entangled in the myriad circumstances of your life as you exhale, even if that's your

[19:01]

intention, even if that's your ultimate concern, even if that's what you're together with ultimately, and you slip, you feel you slip, you feel somebody shook the sieve and now we're separated. Now there's me and my practice of not dwelling anywhere is over there. I'm misplaced. I'm a misplaced wayfarer. I'm separate from my practice. Even if that happens, as soon as you notice that, if you notice that slip and you examine that slip, your practice is protected. And not just your practice, but the practice of all beings is protected. So another kind of categorical statement is that the path of the Bodhisattva may be summed in one principle, and that is

[20:01]

that living beings, the protection of living beings is accomplished by the examination of our own mistakes. So first is faith, what's your ultimate concern, and then that faith is protected, the faith of your life. The ultimate concern of your life is protected by examination of your errors, of your mistakes. Not at all by the examination of other people's mistakes. You may notice other people's mistakes that may happen to you, and that's not a problem, because that's just something that's just a body-mind thing that's happening while you're breathing in. It's just that when you see somebody else's mistake as you're breathing in, don't dwell on their mistake. If you see their mistake as you're breathing out,

[21:10]

don't get entangled in their mistake. Just breathe right through all the mistakes of other beings, in and out. You can say, Hi. Hi, you made a mistake. Oh, you screwed up there. You can say that if you want, but don't dwell there. Just say hi and go on. Whereas when it comes to your own errors, you don't dwell there either, but you can examine them. You can study the farthest reaches of the causes and conditions of your errors. You can study your ancient twisted karma that gives rise to the mind which seems to forget its ultimate concern, and make practice into something fixed. The fundamental of Zen practice is again stated as the orientation which only

[22:19]

seeks enlightenment. At the same time, if you form an idea of what it means to seek enlightenment, then you of course are off. To seek enlightenment, those who seek enlightenment lose it. But then, as the Zoroastrian said, if you don't have a goal in your practice, that's a big mistake. If you envision enlightenment in some form and put it in that form, then you have just dwelled in your mind. And as soon as you put enlightenment in some form, you're alienated from it. So of course, all forms are enlightenment. But if you say each form is enlightenment and say,

[23:25]

okay, now all these, each one of these forms are enlightenment, then you put it in a form and then do, and you alienate yourself from it. So somebody's ultimate concern is to just sit, and a number of our ancestors said, my ultimate concern is just sit. They said that instead of enlightenment, they said just to sit. In other words, just sit. And nobody knows what that means, and that's what they wanted to practice. They wanted to do a practice that nobody knows what it was, including them.

[24:35]

So the practice would be selfless. Now there's one tricky point, and that is, Suzuki Roshi said that if you have some idea of self, then when you practice you're going to want to do this practice or that practice, you're going to want to do some kind of a practice, you're going to want to work on something. So it's permitted to be a human being and to come to a Zen center or even a non-Zen center and say, well I want to work on something, give me something to work on. So if people want that, then sometimes people give them something to work on, because people have a self. When you have a self, you want a kind of companion for it, namely your practice to work on, which is fine. But if you don't have a self, if you've sort of forgotten about it, then you don't have to have something to work on, and you can just sit. As a matter of fact, not only can you just sit, but you

[25:41]

can sit calmly and quietly, even though you don't have a practice, even though you don't have a thing to work on. And then Suzuki Roshi said, this can be a kind of a test for us. He actually said, it's a kind of a test which we have received. It's a transmitted test. So you can say, if you don't have and hold a self, then you can do a practice which really isn't doing anything or where you don't have anything to work on. Then turn it around the other way, if you can sit calmly and quietly without something to work on, then that kind of proves that you have selfless practice. Now, I don't know if he really said that or just was a transcription error, but that's a tricky thing to say, because if then you sit there and say, well, here I am sitting here and I don't know what my practice is and I'm calm and quiet. Actually, now I'm talking. Well, maybe I should shut up then.

[26:45]

So then you stop talking and you're really calm and quiet and you don't know what you're doing, so you say, now that proves that I have selfless practice. But then you say, well, you're actually making some noise there. So maybe he's right. If you can actually sit there, just sitting, not doing anything, calmly and quietly, and not even be telling yourself that you've just passed the test, then maybe you have passed the test. Maybe you really are practicing selflessly. So we have to be careful that this practice we're doing here in this monastery isn't now something which we're doing wholeheartedly as a proof because, if this is the proof, then what about the people even in this valley, not to mention outside the valley, who aren't doing this practice, which proves our ultimate concern?

[27:49]

The other problem of that is, what happens when you don't do it? Then you start getting anxious. Well, I said what to do when you get anxious about not doing it, and now we also have to be careful about getting arrogant if we do do it, if we do something which proves that we're practicing. And yet, there is a kind of proof in being able to sit here still and quiet without having something you're actually working on. Myriad things are coming up, but you're not working on them. You're just exhaling through them. If you work on them, that's another means that you're getting a little too entangled with them. To try to

[28:52]

not work on them or to ignore them would also be entanglement. So how can you have a mind and a body which are producing all these phenomena and just not get entangled? That's called just sitting. That's called not getting involved as you exhale. That's called not dwelling in this kind of phenomena of body and mind when you inhale. That's called only thinking of enlightenment, which completely transcends whatever is coming up and is completely there,

[29:53]

too. It's right under your nose and completely transcends your nose. It's right under your feet. It's right in your thoughts, in your emotions, in your judgments, and also transcends them. Completely elusive and completely present. So completely free that it can be you and the rest of us. Such a thing which doesn't abide or non-abide in its thingness is my ultimate concern. Examining when I slip off of that and get distracted from that is a practice I do to protect my

[31:00]

ultimate concern and bring me back in line with the way. So the spirit of the Bodhisattva

[32:27]

is to only be concerned with enlightenment and yet without focusing or fixating on it. So most of the activity of the spirit of only being concerned with bodhi, most of the activity of it is to guide us back to that concern because as soon as we fixate on something we're off. To notice that we fixated on or made it into something, the spirit of enlightenment says, oh that's a mistake, and get back on to being focused on something that you can't form or unform. And yet I just did, so I'm off. Noticing I'm off, I guide myself back. So it's a kind of guiding to something which is ultimately a concern without then fixating. The mind keeps

[33:30]

fixating and then the spirit of enlightenment says, whoops, you fixated, whoops, whoops, you fixated means you're back on the path again. I'm only concerned with enlightenment and I just dwelled in enlightenment as my mind. I made enlightenment into my mind or body. I made enlightenment into this posture and I dwelled in it. Fine, that's a mistake. So I make a posture

[34:31]

and then to watch to see if I dwell in it and if I do I catch myself of that error and then I'm back in the path. So the path is a place of continuous noticing the mistake. We offer a field, a body in mind to notice these mistakes and therefore practice the way. Only concerned with enlightenment means passing through worldly states and passing through spiritual attainments without clinging. To

[35:49]

be only concerned with enlightenment is a spiritual state and we should pass through that too. We shouldn't cling to what all bodhisattvas have always been concerned with. So I ask you and I ask myself, what is your ultimate concern? What are you ultimately together

[37:10]

with in the sieve before it's shaken? Once that's clarified, I feel somewhat protected. In bringing up other kinds of study, but I leave it to you to look deeply into your heart to see what is ultimate for you to find your faith in this lifetime. And if you want to be a kind of

[38:26]

a little kid, you know, like you want to Buddha's children and line up with the Buddhas, fine. I do it myself. I'm willing to be a copycat to that extent. And but if you don't want to and you actually want to take a stand and say, no, I have a different ultimate concern. You're welcome here, too. There's probably a way to practice with some other ultimate concern than the ones that all the Buddhas have had. It's okay to have some non-Buddhists here. That might be very interesting. What other ultimate concern you might have. A lot of times it just may sound different, but you may have to

[39:32]

say it in a different way. And I hope you have the courage to do that if really that's where you're at. And some other people may have trouble finding it. It may not be clear or it may look clear for a minute and then you may feel like, no, no, I'm not willing to give up everything for that. You may say, well, there's actually nothing that I can find that I'm willing to give everything else up for. I actually kind of like, I want to have several options. That may be where you're at. So then the ultimate has not been discovered yet. And so your faith is kind of spread out in several baskets. So in a sense, I guess it's a worldly teaching to say, don't put all your eggs in one basket. But maybe a worldly teaching is good. Maybe you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket.

[40:37]

But anyway, I'd like to start off by considering, is there some place where you feel comfortable putting all your eggs? Is the mind, which has no abode, a safe place to put your whole life, do you trust that spot? And if not, what fears or whatever do you have? You might say, well, I'd like to, but I'm afraid of what will happen to me if I did. I might lose my address book. These are normal fears, but there's ways to encourage people who have these fears if they would say that they have them. So I guess I'm saying either line up with the Buddha,

[41:45]

or if you're not going to, please have the courage to say, I don't want to. And then what do you want? And we probably can work with that too. Dogen says that one of the main functions of a practice period is to clarify and deepen your faith. So obviously you people are into sitting. So there's something about your faith having to do with all the sitting you've been doing and all the sitting which you say you want to do. So there's something going to be, and you're going to be settling down into your sitting. Is that your ultimate? Is this sitting

[42:49]

your ultimate? Is this just being thus your ultimate? So this practice period will be, could be, offers the opportunity to clarify and deepen your faith. And Sister Moon said, well after we leave Tassajara on Saturday, some of us, which would also apply to after you leave Tassajara on December 21st or whenever you leave, will you be able to continue this discovery, clarification and development of your ultimate concern? Yes, you can do it. You can do it outside Tassajara because you can get lost at Tassajara. Since you can get off of it here, you can get

[43:53]

back onto it here. Since you can get off of it here, you can get off of it outside of here. If you can get off, you can get back on, and you certainly can get off. And the place you get back on is precisely where you get off. Same place. So this practice is not dependent on this monastic setup, but this monastic setup is designed primarily to clarify this practice. Whereas we do not have agreement from the rest of the world that all the other activities of this country are primarily set up to clarify this fundamental intention of our life. But even in a place that is out front set up to support clarifying your fundamental intention,

[45:01]

even in such a place we're able to get off the track. Even with all the support we're able to get off the track. So it's really our mind that's the clever one. It's much more clever than any institutions that are set up inside or outside the monastery. You can always get off. You don't need to leave Tassajara to get off. And when you're out of Tassajara or in Tassajara and you get off, it's always the same practice. Namely, catch yourself. And when you catch yourself, don't beat yourself up. Don't cry over spilled milk. Just say, the milk is spilled, clean it. And you don't even have to clean it. All you gotta do is say it's spilled and it's cleaned.

[46:03]

And I think many of you have heard this before, but I just want to give another warning in case I die this afternoon. And that is, people think that as you get more and more enlightened that you probably would spill milk less. You almost might say that it gets a little healthier when you get enlightened. That the mind which discriminates gets a little bit healthier, a little bit more strong. But it really doesn't. It's just that you get more decisive and you have less hesitation in spilling the milk when you're enlightened. And also since you have less hesitation and you're more decisive about it, the difference is that you notice it more. So the difference between unenlightened and enlightened is enlightened people notice

[47:29]

that they're spilling the milk constantly. And less enlightened people notice that they spill the milk once in a while. And people who are really deluded within delusion, you know, their delusion is protected by delusion, those people never spill the milk. So actually they're quite decisive and unhesitant too. They unhesitantly never make a mistake. So they're like an enlightened person. The most deluded people are like the most enlightened in that way, that they unhesitantly are perfect. In the middle is most Buddhist practitioners who sort of admit kind of that they make a mistake and therefore they do everything somewhat half-heartedly because they notice it's an error. And they think if they do an error softly or weakly that it will reduce the error. Whereas enlightened people know that that doesn't make it less so, so they

[48:39]

go ahead and make the full-scale error, not a little bit more or less than it is. And it is constant because the mind is constantly making separation. It's separating the path from the path. It's making the path into something or whatever. So don't be discouraged if you try to find your fundamental intention and you're successful and then you notice that you're making lots of mistakes afterwards. As a matter of fact, I would say you could be encouraged, another kind of almost test, you can almost be encouraged if you start to notice more error than ever before. And I think you've heard this, you know, Dogen Zenji said, the path is one continuous mistake, continuous mistake. And the more I practice,

[49:40]

the more I kind of see that he actually was serious and it wasn't a mistranslation. But when the path is one continuous mistake, it is also one continuous joy. Or somebody has recently become enamored with the expression of the Soto Zen path, it is a 10,000 mile iron road. But it's a joyful road because you're no longer afraid that the path is going to be an iron road. You've adjusted. And guess what happens when you fall down on an iron road? Someone gave me a piece of broken farm equipment, which is shaped like this,

[50:46]

kotsu. It's quite short, too short for elegant use. So I haven't been using it, but it's very heavy and hard and it's iron. And he wrote him back in Japanese, harmony. Anyway, I'm going to try to have this piece of broken farm equipment lengthened so I can use it. Lengthened and bent by my super human hanja. He's in training now for bending this iron road. He looks scared. You can do it, Lee. So anyway, welcome to the iron road. And I hope you have fun walking along and falling down and getting up.

[51:54]

In our intention, we believe that faith is everything and place, with the true path of God's way.

[52:20]

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