Last time we talked about the Bodhisattva vow and I thought a little bit more would be good tonight. At Zen Center we often chant together what are called the four universal vows or four vows. which are, which go in English, sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable, I vow to become it."

[01:15]

The first of those four vows, sentient beings are numberless, I vow to save them. in one sense is the basic line of the bodhisattva, that I vow to save all living beings. And the next three in some sense go with saying that I vow to attain complete enlightenment in order to save all beings. The first line is the wish to save all beings, and the next three lines are required in order to actually do that, in order to actually live that life. You can help a great deal without being completely enlightened.

[02:20]

You can help without being enlightened. Just going around making mistakes actually helps some people. But if you want to help everybody in the highest possible way, then it's good to accomplish these next three vows. The second vow is, we say at Zen Center, delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. But that's actually a kind of a bit of an interpretation or a little bit of an adaptation for the American audience. Actually, what it says is afflictions are inexhaustible. Now you can understand afflictions as various emotional states that afflict us, various delusions that afflict us. But it literally says afflictions and it means, I think it means a certain kind of delusion, many kinds of delusion.

[03:43]

The next line is, Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them. And we also say enter, but literally it says I vow to understand them or, you know, learn them. And Dharma gates means some gate to the truth. So gates to the truth are boundless. There's no end to gateways to the truth. Everything that comes to us is a gateway to the truth. Everything. So I vow to understand that, first of all, that everything that's coming to me is like an opportunity to enter the truth. And then I also vowed to actually enter, to use every meeting with every living being and even with every non-living being as an opportunity to enter into truth with whatever that gate is.

[04:55]

So it's not just that I enter, but that the gate is entered. So you become intimate with whatever that phenomena that you're meeting is. If it's a living being, you become intimate with that living being and that living being in that meeting becomes the opportunity or part of the opportunity for realizing the truth together with that gate with that person with that feeling with that emotion with that perception and last one is that the buddha way is unsurpassable and in other words buddha's enlightenment is unsurpassable and it's that we also say i vow to become it But you could also translate, I vow to accomplish it or I vow to manifest it. I vow to realize it. I vow to attain it. So in order to save all living beings, I actually need to free myself of all kinds of delusions and afflictions.

[06:06]

I need to use every opportunity every experience as a door to the truth, and I need to attain complete, authentic awakening." And so those are the bodhisattva vows. As I mentioned last week, not everybody that comes to a Buddhist meditation center actually feels these vows or wants to make these vows. I mentioned that last week. Some people say, well, actually, I'm primarily here to help myself.

[07:10]

I'm not actually primarily here to help others. Some other people say, I'm here to help myself and some others. I'm here to help myself. And there's a few people I would be very happy to help too. But all people? Not quite. There's a few people I'm not so sure I really want to save from suffering. There's a few people I know who actually I don't have anything against, but they have so much work to do to get a little bit saved. I just can't quite think about working on such an enormous project as that particular person. That person is so... Wow, that would be like, that one person would be like my whole life's project. So I really can't, like, say that I honestly want that I'm actually going to, like, live to enlighten that person.

[08:16]

Some people say that. And that's good that they're honest, right? I sometimes say to them, would you like to learn how to want to do that? And sometimes they say, well, I'd be willing to try to learn how to want to do that. So that first one, if you can't quite buy the first one, it's partly probably part of the reason why you can't buy the first one is because you haven't really thought about the second one or the third one or the fourth one. Part of the reason why we sometimes can't bear the thought of all the work it would take to help some people is because of our afflictions. We're afflicted by thinking that we have a limited amount of time and energy

[09:21]

And it's kind of true that we do have a limited amount of time and energy, but you don't have to be afflicted by that. You don't have to have that be something that like undermines you or makes you like not be able to love people. Funny thing is that you can even see that the fact that you have a limited amount of time and energy and talent and other stuff like that, that's the very reason why you should specialize in saving beings. Because you don't have to be smart to love everybody, or talented or powerful. So whatever your equipment is, it's good to recognize it, but that doesn't have to be the reason why you can't love beings. If it is a reason why you can't, then the qualities of your life are afflictions to you as a bodhisattva.

[10:30]

Then you're turning them against yourself. Your real heart as an enlightening being doesn't want what you are to stop you from being what you can be. What you are is not supposed to stop you from being a Buddha. What you are is exactly what's going to be a Buddha, not the reason why you're not going to be a Buddha. What you are is the way you're going to help people, not what's going to interfere with you helping people. So what you have to do is you have to end these things afflicting you. If you think about it, it's not that bad a deal to have what you are no longer afflict you. to have your feelings, your opinions, your emotions, that they wouldn't be afflictions anymore, that they would just be like leaves on a tree rather than like, you know, poison to the tree.

[11:33]

But in fact, some of our very qualities of our being, we sometimes feel afflicted by our own thoughts and our own feelings. in terms of realizing the welfare of others and the welfare of ourself. And then that relates to the next one, which is that everything that comes to us is an opportunity for truth. So all these things which you might see as limitations or interference in loving beings, they're not. necessarily seen that way. You can cut through that and see that these are actually opportunities, they're opportunities to realize the truth with other beings. So if you want to help anybody, including yourself, it's good if you can become free of afflictions and understand everything is a door to truth. And finally, which again I've also mentioned that a lot of people say, you know, this thing about becoming a Buddha, I'm not, I actually, you know, not that interested in being a Buddha.

[12:42]

I'd like to be, you know, a little bit less anxious and a little bit nicer and stuff like that, but I don't really think of becoming a Buddha. Again, I say, well, fine, you know. But really, in order to help one person completely, it's very similar to helping everybody completely. And the reason why this vow is not just total insanity is because Buddhists actually feel perfectly comfortable about helping everybody completely. And actually, they also understand that that everybody is already, you know, got things going for themselves in such a way that all they have to do is wake up and then they can see that everything's fine. That actually we're already, we're already, all of us, loving each other and in perfect harmony with each other.

[13:57]

So part of what is really helpful if you want to help anybody, yourself or others, if you really want to be able to do that, it's really helpful if you can see how great everything is already. That encourages you rather than discourages you. When you see somebody who's suffering and you see how great they are, It doesn't discourage you to work for their welfare. It encourages you because you realize what a precious, beautiful, sort of incomparably wonderful creature this is, but they don't get it. When you can see that, it's easy for you to help them. not exactly easy, but it's like, not exactly easy, it's more like, well, you sort of have to, because you don't want this person to miss out on what they are.

[15:10]

You really want them to see it. You know what they could see if they would open their eyes. And you know you're working for like the best possible thing, namely this person. And it's not that they're better than other people, it's just that they are the best kind of thing that there is. They're called, they're a living being. Those are the best things. And there's an infinite number of them. Or not there's infinite, but you never run out of them. So, being, realizing Buddha's enlightenment helps you a lot to work for people It's a joy because you can see what they are. And also, you have tremendous skill in order to accomplish what you would like to accomplish.

[16:12]

Some people you may really, you know, you may have a glimpse of how wonderful somebody is, which is a little bit of Buddha. When you see how good somebody is, you got a little Buddha going there for yourself. But you need not just a little bit of Buddha, you need like full-scale Buddha so that this person who you're willing to jump into the water for to save them, so when that person starts slugging you in the face and starts pulling you under the water, you don't get angry at them because you realize it's not going to help. You figure out how to like, you know, maybe get away from them for a little while so you can get some air and where they can't hit you anymore. And then you come at them again. Pull them up. And let me say from a distance, you know, the last time I came near you, you slugged me and I'm just trying to save you.

[17:18]

So, you know, next time you take a hold of me, try not to put your hands in my mouth or in my eyes. Just relax. Yeah, but I'm freaking out because I'm drowning. I know, I know. I can see that. Anyway, you do something really skillful out there in the water. Another way to put this, which I also said last week, is a bodhisattva vow in some sense is the vow, the wish and the commitment to become intimate with everything. Not just humans, not just humans and animals, not just humans and animals and plants, but even with all inanimate things.

[18:31]

You don't have to be necessarily a great sculptor or something, but you need to be as intimate with that stuff as a great sculptor. When you see a piece of marble or a piece of steel, you need to see it as a Dharmagate. And if you're not afflicted by your own vision and your own attitudes, you can see a piece of steel as a Dharmagate. Like your attitude might be, well, I'm not a sculptor, so I'm not going to be interested in that piece of steel. Well, then you're afflicted by that attitude. Rather than, I'm not a sculptor, I don't know anything about steel, but I'm going to get intimate with the steel anyway. maybe not today but that's my vow is to become intimate with everything and i don't know for all i know i can't really tell it's probably as difficult to get intimate with steel as it is to get intimate with a human

[19:55]

Like I was talking to Donald about the... There was an exhibit that just ended in San Francisco of Alexander Calder, right? This is the guy that got intimate with steel, right? Didn't he make toys or something originally? First he got intimate with toys. Then he got intimate with... Maybe first of all he got intimate with his kids, I don't know. Then he got intimate with toys. Then he got intimate with big pieces of steel. So maybe he, you know... But he didn't do that all of a sudden. He worked at that. And he didn't let... Well, maybe sometimes he did, but he didn't... He overcame a lot of affliction, which is probably himself thinking that he couldn't do certain things with certain materials. So I don't know, you know. But when you meet certain people, you think, what can I do? How can I... Well, that thought's okay. As long as that doesn't turn into an affliction, namely to block you from being devoted to this person.

[21:07]

As long as that doesn't block you from saying, what is the truth here? How can this piece of steel, how can this person, how can this plant, how can this animal be a gate to the truth? Oh, it would really be hard to get intimate with this person. This person, like, you know, I'm allergic to this person. This would be really hard to get intimate with. This person's, you know, a drug addict. This person's, you know, crazy. This person's manic depressive. This person is blah, blah. That's my thought, you know, it's a thought. There's a Dharma door there. It's a thought. This would be hard to get intimate with. Oh, yeah. Probably. It's hard to get intimate with anything. But that thought doesn't have to be an affliction, which makes you feel like, well, I can't do it.

[22:11]

That thought can be oh, yeah, it would be hard, but that's not a problem. It's normal that it's hard, and I still want to do it. Or I'm about to give up. I better go talk to a bodhisattva and get some encouragement here. So you go talk to the bodhisattva, and the bodhisattva says, yeah, that is hard. That's normal. It really is hard. But don't let that stop you. That's just normal. Do you want to be intimate with all things, all beings? I can't say I do. Would you like to learn how to want to be intimate with all beings? Yeah. No, I don't. Would you like to be intimate with anybody, with one being? No. Would you like to learn how to be intimate with one being?

[23:16]

No. Yeah. Okay. Who do you want to start? What do you want to start with? Let's go to work. Intimate with one being means meet one being without, you know, taking the knowing to yourself, which I called last week like entering in a relationship where you don't exactly know what's going on. Yeah, like let's say I'm having a talk with you and then I know what's going on between us. I know, Martha, what's happening. Rather than, well, how can I know?

[24:16]

Maybe you don't agree with me. Do I get to know what's going on, even though you might not agree that what I know is going on is what's going on? If you get in on it, then I'm not going to get to know exactly what's happening. because your view is going to count and your view is not the same as mine, so knowing is not the thing that's going to be part of the intimacy. I still have some idea about what's going on, and my idea of what's going on may be fairly stable. And I may even like what I think is going on. I mean, I may even like the ideas I have about what's going on. Like, I may think, well, my idea is I'm really being a good friend of yours. I like that idea. Perfectly good idea. It's very similar to, I'm not a very good friend of yours. It's very similar to, it's actually very similar to, I don't even know what a friend is.

[25:20]

Like that, one of my, not that I'm much of an expert on it, but one of my favorite dialogues of Plato is called Lysis. And it's a discussion that Socrates is having with Lysis and some other kid about what's friendship. So they, you know, they say, well, maybe some people think friendship is that. And they talk about it for a while, and then, well, that's not it. And they say, well, how about this? And they talk about that, and then that's not it. So they talk, and they talk, and after they talk for quite a long time, Socrates says if someone if anyone was overhearing our conversation, they would think we were kind of like kind of Crazy because here we have been talking about friendship all this time and now we know less about it than when we started They didn't and and in that and I did too after reading it, but you know, I felt all the way through I Felt he really loved those boys He really loved them. He was really interested in them. He didn't know what was going on either. Socrates didn't know what was going on. But he was interested in these boys.

[26:27]

He was interested in his own mind too. But not just his own mind. He wasn't just sort of like rattling on his thoughts to them. He asked them questions and he listened to them and he was really interested in them. And he didn't like say, oh, geez, this conversation is going nowhere. Let's stop. Or, you know, we're not getting any better handle on what friendship is than when we started. Let's call it off. We're losing ground here. But they got more and more intimate. More and more intimate and less and less, you know, certain of... that their opinion was right, of what friendship was. They were more and more certain of what? More and more certain of something, of what? More and more certain that he loved people. More and more certain that he was devoted to helping them think, rather than helping them get a hold of something.

[27:33]

I vow to save all beings from suffering, not I vow to sort of like figure out what's going on and get it over with and move on. And when you're talking to somebody, you know, and the conversation starts going in some direction you don't like, I vow to see that the direction it's going is a Dharma door. I vow to see that I don't like it going in this direction as a Dharma door. I vowed to see my impulse to get it back on track as an opportunity to see the truth. The truth of what? Well, first of all, the truth that I'm trying to get a hold, I'm trying to get in control of this conversation. What's that about? Well, that's about the truth that I don't really, that I actually don't trust that the way it's going is a Dharma door. I don't. But maybe I trust enough to look at the fact that I don't like where it's going. Maybe that's a Darmador. Maybe what I think is a Darmador, even though where it's going is not a Darmador.

[28:46]

Once you start seeing Darmador as one place, you start seeing him other places. So you're talking with somebody. Things are going in a way you don't like. That means you don't... You're losing track of that vow to see everything as a Darmador. But if you can at least catch that you don't like it and make that a Dharma door, then you can see, oh, yeah, I don't like it. That's telling me something about me. That's telling me that I don't, yeah, that's telling me that I'm afflicted by my opinions. That's telling me that I do want to save all sentient beings, but I actually don't want to save this one. the way they're going. I want them to come back and be different, and then I'll save them that way, rather than save them as they go off on this side track. You're going off in the wrong direction. I can't save you over there. And also, I'm losing track that everything's fine, that we're working very nicely together.

[29:50]

So that shows me a lot of other things are going on. This is called... Another way to talk about this is called not turning away from life. To really like plunge into life, of all things. And not anything special, just what's going on, just the way it's happening now, to plunge into it. To plunge into anxiety. To pull back your armor and feel it. Don't go look for it. That won't be the real thing. Just stay here and plunge into it without even leaning forward. Plunge into it straight down. It's right here. Now, where does the... Where does the...

[31:03]

willingness to plunge into life, to not turn away from it, to make this vow come from, you can't make it happen to yourself. And nobody else can make it happen to you. It comes from communion with Buddha. And Buddha happens to be right here all the time. All you got to do is start communing with Buddha and you start to feel this vow. Although this tremendous interest in becoming intimate with all beings is kind of hard to imagine sometimes and you can't make it happen. You can kind of warm up to it by practicing to whatever extent you can lovingly open up to anybody.

[32:12]

That tends to make you... more open to having this thing come upon you. This thing comes and gets you. It seizes you. It comes to you because you have let down some defenses. I myself, I don't know, at some point in my life I opened a book and I read some stories. I opened a book. When you open a book, you kind of, you know, to some extent you open yourself to the book. Open a book and read stories about bodhisattvas.

[33:22]

So I opened a book and read stories about Zen monks and I read the stories And they came to me, and then this thing came up inside me, which was, I want to be like that. I want to be like that, and I want to be like that, and I want to be like that. How do you go from I want to be that to be that? Well, that's the work. But anyway... Are you opening yourself to beings so that you can get something which will stimulate you to want to do this? I didn't read stories about Buddha at first.

[34:28]

I read stories about Zen monks. So I didn't think I wanted to be like Buddha. But then later, as I came into the Zen door, I heard about Buddha. When I heard about him, then I wanted to be like him too. Like him, I was a kind of ordinary person, actually. I didn't necessarily want to be him like, you know, the Buddha that sits there and has the light rays come out, the beam out through the forehead, you know, and illuminate 18,000 world systems to the east and so on, and had a tongue that's like many, many light years long, stuff like that. That wasn't the Buddha I wanted to be. I wanted to be the Buddha that was... that was just walking around... you know, the Buddha walking around, and for some reason or another, his disciples weren't with him, he was just out by himself taking a walk someplace, and it became nighttime, so he went over to a potter, and he said to the potter, can I stay in your potting shed tonight, in your potter's shop, pottery shop, and the potter said,

[35:53]

Yeah, you can stay there, except there's already somebody staying there, so you have to ask him if it's okay. And the Buddha, so the Buddha says, okay, I'll go ask him. So the Buddha go ask the guy, says, can I stay here with you? And the guy was also a kind of a meditator. And he said, yeah, there's room here, you can stay here too. So the Buddha was allowed to stay in this potting shed with this other yogi. So then they stayed there together. And then in the night, this yogi was sitting up in meditation, and the Buddha sat up with him. And the Buddha sat in meditation and looked at the guy and said, pretty good meditator, that guy. And they sat through the night together. In the morning, he thought, this guy is a good meditator. Maybe he'd like to hear a little dharma from me, of some teachings.

[36:59]

So he said to the guy, he said, under whom did you enter into the spiritual path? He said, I entered under the Buddha Shakyamuni. He's my teacher. And the Shakyamuni Buddha said, have you ever met Shakyamuni Buddha? And the guy said, no, never met him. He said, would you recognize him if you ever saw him? The guy said, nope, don't know what he looks like. But you're his disciple? Mm-hmm. I heard about his teaching and I think it's wonderful and I'm trying to practice it. I'm embellishing now, he didn't really say that. If I ever meet him, I look forward to the time when I can actually meet my teacher, the Buddha. So then the Buddha said, Would you like to hear some Dharma teaching?

[38:05]

And the guy said, Yeah. Sure, pal. Lay it on. He spoke kind of informally like that to the Buddha. Not disrespectfully, but just sort of like, you know, something like that. So then the Buddha started to give him a little talk. And the talk that the Buddha gave was a wonderful talk. I'm not going to get into what it was, but it was actually a wonderful teaching. And it's called, the name of the teaching is called the Discourse on Elements. So he taught these various elements. So he's teaching his elements to this guy. The guy's listening attentively to this teaching. He doesn't know it's the Buddha, but he's still listening to hear whatever teaching it is. He's willing to open to it. He's open to it. He doesn't know it's the Buddha, but whoever it is, he's open. He's going to learn from whoever this is. If it's a good teaching, he'll benefit. If it's a bad teaching, he may say, that's kind of weird.

[39:09]

I have a question. Did you really mean that when you... But it turns out it was the Buddhist, so he just sat there and listened, and it sounded pretty good. And towards about two-thirds of the way through, the guy was enlightened. And he understood who was talking to him. But he didn't say, okay, I know who you are. You can stop now. Yeah. I'm enlightened and I know who you are. Stop. Even though he realized that it was the Buddha, and even though he was enlightened, he also knew the Buddha liked to finish his talks. Once he got going, he liked to sort of like finish the course. So he let him finish. And then after he finished, he said, I've been waiting to meet my teacher, and now I have met my teacher.

[40:11]

And I'm sorry that I didn't recognize you at first and that I talked to you so informally. But... And the Buddha said, yeah, you were kind of, you know, a little bit on the chummy side there and kind of informal, but now you got the picture, it's okay. So I didn't, you know, that's the Buddha I want to be like. Just ordinary Buddha, you know. Just a Buddha, you know, who, you know, walks around and walks around, knocks on the door and says, can I stay here? And the guy says, yeah. Or maybe the guy says, no. And then he says, well, is there someplace where I can stay or whatever, you know. Anyway, yes. And then, can I stay here with you? Yes. And then you sit in there. Just like that.

[41:16]

This is the... And what does he do, you know? He goes and he sees the person. This is a good person. He gives him the teaching. He wants this... You know, he gives him what he's got to give at that time for that person. Tries to do his best, and he's successful, this guy. He sees... He wants to help all beings. He doesn't say, oh, this guy is too hard. He just... looks at him, sees how he is, and then says, do you want, can I help you? And if he says yes, then he helps. And he sees a way. And he's successful at this wonderful thing of waking people up. He could, he actually woke people up. So bodhisattvas want to be like that. They want to be like somebody who can like go into a place where there's people, look at them, you know, ask if they want to hear the teaching. And if they do, give the right teaching and keep working at it until you finish, until they wake up.

[42:24]

And that's your job. So then you got another Buddha there. And of course, this guy was a guy who... He was open. He was, you know, he was there, he was taking care of himself, and he was open to teaching... Sometimes people aren't open. So then the Buddha... Sometimes people won't even let the Buddha stay in the same house with them. So you say, well, can't stay here? Okay. So you can't, maybe. You have to stay outside. Maybe it takes a long time before that person will let you in the house. And you say, well, would you like to hear some teachings? And maybe they say, no, thank you. So you wait. But asking and having them say, no, thank you, and waiting, that's the teaching too. Like one time, one time, Suzuki Roshi did a ceremony with some of the priests at Zen Center, and we got these new robes, which were a different style from the ones we had before.

[43:40]

So after the ceremony where we received his okesa, we said to Suzuki Roshi, how do you put on these new robes? How do you wear them? And he got up and walked away. And then we asked another teacher, Kadagiri Roshi, how do you wear them? And Kadagiri Roshi started to try to explain. His English wasn't so good, so he was like trying to explain. And we were kind of like not understanding what he was saying. And then one of us noticed, said, oh, look, and pointed to Zigurashi, who was over in the corner, putting the robe on. Sometimes you don't notice but he's trying you know it took us a while. We finally got it He was really kind of an ordinary guy in the world being a buddha and by the way

[44:43]

Tonight, this is the 12th, I mean, the 12th month, the third day. On the 12th month, the third day, 1971, was the last day that he lived. 27 years ago, this day was the last day. And then in the morning of the 4th was the morning he died. So 27 years ago, he entered nirvana. Nirvana. So we have a little bit of time left before we enter Nirvana. So let's see if we can enter the world, you know, just plunge into it, however it is. Plunge into it. And then see if we can learn to have this vow. Find some way to learn to have the vow to want to want to work for this wonderful thing.

[45:50]

Plunge into our life means open lovingly to your own experience. Open lovingly to your own experience. And this will come, this vow will come, this wish will come if you can take care of yourself well enough to be where you are you will mature and gradually you will wish to help at least one person completely. What you say will not be held against you. Yes. Did you have your hand raised? What is the word that when you said delusion could be translated as affliction, what is that word? In Japanese, it's bomon, which means affliction. Bom, yes. Japanese is bomon, means afflictions. Yes.

[46:56]

Sometimes I think I see an opportunity and somebody who I might be able to help, but then I still don't know what behavior to do. All you can do at that point is pray for the happiness of that person until it comes to you what to do or what behavior. That's good. It seems like, you know, I can see sometimes an aliaqti, but then I don't know what behavior to do to help them. Wishing for their happiness is a good way to get intimate with them. Wishing for your own happiness is a good way to get intimate with them. Wishing for your own happiness, wishing for your own body and mind to be buoyant, wishing for your own peacefulness is a way for you to take up residence in your own body. If you're willing to be where you are and be who you are and be how you are, if you love yourself and are kind enough to yourself so you can stand to be who you are, then you show them somebody who's willing to be who she is.

[48:16]

You show this person it's possible to be a person who doesn't run away from being how she is at that moment. They look at you and they notice you're not wiggling too much. Now, if they're wiggling a lot, it may take them a while to even notice that you're not wiggling. Because they think you're wiggling because they're wiggling. You know? But eventually they may notice, how come you don't wiggle? How come you just sit there? And then you have something to say maybe, like, you know, I'm skewered by my pain. You're in a lot of pain? Yes. I am. You look so happy. That's because I'm not trying to run away. What? What did you say? I said I'm in pain and I'm trying not to run away. And you're smiling. And you're being nice to me. Wow.

[49:20]

And what did you say? You said you love me? In the middle of your pain, you can love me. You can wish me well while you're suffering. Now, maybe you don't tell people that, but they can feel it. Some people, again, may not notice that you're not wiggling for a long time. But if you're actually doing that job of plunging into your life, you're showing them what they need to do in order to be free. You're showing. You're demonstrating it. And you're also getting their attention. So first Buddha gets our attention by doing something like, you know, you look across, look over the oceans of people wiggling and turning and so one person is not moving. How come you're not moving? And then, and then when they, once you got your attention, then you show them. what it's like to be present in the middle of suffering.

[50:25]

You're right there in the world, just like them. You know about anxiety, but you don't run away. You've got their attention. Then you can tell them how it is, and then they can wake up, and then they can enter too. It's not a matter of knowing what behavior. You have behaviors all the time. Basically, it's just we take, we hold hands with people, we join hands with people, and we walk through birth and death with them. That's basically it. And as they come into the, what is it, the valley of the shadow of death, and they're holding your hands, and you're not fearing evil, they feel that, say, how come you're not scared? And you say, you want to learn how to not be scared too? And you say, yeah.

[51:29]

And you tell them how you do it. You didn't plan that beforehand. You're just holding their hands. You don't know when they're going to ask you, how come you're not scared? Or they might even ask you, how come you are scared? I thought you were a bodhisattva. How come you're scared? Well, then you can tell them how come you're scared and they'll learn from that too. Oh, that's how you get scared, huh? Yeah. That's how I get scared too. We get scared the same way. Isn't that a coincidence? The Dharma door. But anyway, wishing yourself well and wishing them well is part of the way you take your seat. You kind of got to love yourself into your seat. Got to make yourself as comfortable as possible. Patience is part of taking your seat. Like I talked about last time, you got to be sitting in the middle of your suffering for this thought of renunciation to arise, right? When you're sitting in your suffering and not wiggling, the thought arises, it would be nice to let go of my attachments because they seem to be causing problems.

[52:34]

But also, not only does renunciation arise from not wiggling and being in the center of your suffering, but also wanting to free all beings, to have that be your project, that also arises in that place. Because you know that that would be the end of suffering if you totally were dedicated to saving all beings in that place of suffering, you would be happy. So patience and loving are part of the way you take your seat. And when you take your seat, you're already becoming much, much more helpful to people. You don't have to say anything in particular or do anything in particular. It's coming from that presence, from that patience, from that willingness to be who you are. And that speech and that face is very helpful to people. They may not even notice it when they see it, but then some other time they're walking along They're in big trouble and suddenly they remember your face and say, oh, yeah, she was sitting still in the middle.

[53:39]

I think I'll sit still too. I'll be present. When you're intimate, you don't know exactly what to do. I mean, you know what to do, but it's not because you're sort of like holding it. This is the right thing to do. It's just the right thing comes out and you feel like, okay, I'll go with this for the moment. What do you think? Have any feedback? And in the ceremony, the bodhisattva vow is not part of the ceremony. The bodhisattva vow is the background of the ceremony. because it's the Bodhisattva Precepts, these are the precepts for the people who want to do this work. And also George asked me last week, he said, which precept of the 16 Bodhisattva Precepts, which one is this kind of like not knowing or this intimacy?

[54:47]

And I thought, well, first thing I thought was, I think the first one, I take refuge in Buddha. I go back to Buddha, means I go back to being intimate with all beings, because that's what Buddha is. Buddha is intimacy with all beings. So I take refuge in Buddha. That's this kind of like not knowing this intimacy. I take refuge in Dharma, means I want to find truth in every experience. I want to look into each face and try to understand what's happening in this world through this face and this face. I take refuge in Sangha means I take refuge in all beings. I want all beings to help me practice. I want to take refuge in the world of beings. I want to meet people in such a way that everybody supports my practice.

[55:55]

And then all the other precepts are also really intimacy. Not killing is intimacy. Not lying is intimacy. Not stealing is intimacy. Not killing is also not knowing. I know what's best for you. And in another sense, all those precepts blossom from not knowing, blossom from intimacy. So they're all expressions of intimacy and they're all ways to train at intimacy. You know, when you meet a bug, killing is not the way to be intimate with it. Like Vonnie said, I was talking about killing at the lunch table with her the other day at Green Gulch, and she said, well, I have a dog, you know, and she had a dog. She said, well, when it comes to taking ticks off my dog, I have to kill those.

[56:59]

I said, well, I understand. I said, but my students have forced me to not kill the ticks I take off my dog. So they asked me to take the ticks off the dog and then give them, you know, they feel okay for me to deport the ticks. So I could take the ticks outside. And someone would say, well, they're just going to get back in the dog, but I don't, you know, there's so many ticks. I don't know if that tick is not that much of an addition or subtraction, but I do take them off the dog. Now I think of you before I kill him. Hey, I'm a success. If I can install myself in the mind of all murderers, enlightenment will be close at hand. Yes? What's your feeling about abortion?

[58:02]

My feeling about abortion? My feeling is that If I can help somebody who's pregnant have the baby, that I would do that. If there was information that the baby was, that something really terrible was going to happen to the baby, you know, that would make a difference to me. But I guess my feeling would be to let the baby decide whether it's that bad that they want to not be born and see what happens. I think Down syndrome babies are perfectly wonderful manifestations of life. They're not, you know, regular humans in a certain sense.

[59:07]

because they're not smart enough to hate people the way most of us can, but I think Down syndromes are little Buddhas. So if somebody found out that they were going to have a Down syndrome baby and they thought, oh, it's going to be so hard to take care of the baby, it won't be hard to love it, but it might be extra work to take care of it. And it's not like it's going to grow up and, you know, like get a job and be able to take care of itself. So it's going to require... a lot of support its whole life but everybody does so i guess i would try to encourage the parents to go ahead now if they said we don't want to do that then i guess my position would be well if you don't want to uh then give the baby to me and I'll try to find somebody to take care of him or her. But I don't feel like... I'm not saying that I think there should be laws stopping people from doing what they think is best.

[60:22]

I think if somebody is about to kill something, I would try to stop them from killing it, if I could, in all cases. But not knowing exactly what's right or wrong in the situation, but just I would try to stop the killing. That would be my vow. But I don't feel good about forcing people to have babies without giving them support. It seems like if a baby's coming, you should say, I want to help, I want to support you, rather than you have that baby and I'm not going to support you. I don't think I should say anything if I'm not willing to be part of the support for the baby. I should shut up if I'm not going to be devoted to this baby.

[61:32]

I'm not telling you to be devoted to the baby and me not. So if I say I'm devoted to this baby living, then I should theoretically be as willing to take care of it as you are. And you might say even, I don't want to take care of it. So then I would be more willing to take care of it than you if I asked you not to kill the baby. So that's pretty hard for me. So I'm going to open my mouth and I'm going to have to back it up with that kind of support. So I don't think people that are telling other people to have the baby and then not supporting the baby, I don't think that's consistent. I don't feel like you sort of stop the killing and then let the baby not be taken care of. That's a kind of killing too. So I think if you say don't kill, then you just say, well, are you going to follow through on that? Are you going to take care of the baby after it's born?

[62:36]

If so, then go ahead. Say, please don't kill. And I have said this to some people. I've said, well, why don't you just have the baby and then either put it up for adoption or I'll help you find a home for the baby if you don't want to take care of it after it's born. I've said that a number of times. So far, nobody's given me the baby. Of course, the people who come and ask me are preselected because they wouldn't be asking me if they didn't have some question about it. So that's what I think sort of about abortion, kind of more or less. Yeah, because two friends of mine are pregnant. Well, one friend is pregnant. It's her former boyfriend who is the father. And they're trying to... He's trying to convince her to have an abortion. So I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to... Yeah.

[63:43]

Well, I know all these people who want babies. So, you know... I don't know if there's the same number of people who want babies as the number of people who want to have abortions. I don't know how it works out, but anyway. Shall we sit for a little while to conclude?

[64:14]

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