And now the place I see the eye is around the term. It's actually not in the text, but the mind terminates in mere concept. is now for me the eye of the text. So actually the eye of the text is mere concept. relationship with this text.

[01:04]

My fundamental concern now is the mere concept of mere concept. I feel like now we're actually getting down to the practice of it.

[02:25]

That you're actually starting to put the theory into practice. And I'm starting to see now the arising of doubt real doubt. And one meaning of doubt is that you don't believe in something, like you don't think it's true. But another, the way I'm thinking of doubt is doubt in relationship to faith. That it's something that characterizes someone who has faith. In other words, someone who is trying to do a practice If they have doubt, it's in relationship to what they're actually trying to do or what they're willing to try to try on. But it's of course related to believing something is true because in some sense you don't really believe the teaching is true.

[03:31]

You're not sure it's true, therefore you hold back a little bit or a lot. But another way to understand this word doubt is actually the root of the word doubt, which means to waver or to vacillate or vibrate. And the root of the word is dual, which is the basis of two, I mean dual or duality. A hair's breadth deviation or well a Harrisburg deviation can be as big as its distance from heaven and earth. So there's some, I feel in myself and in others, some doubt, some vibration around this mere concept, about the issue of letting the mind just terminate on mere concept, some doubt

[04:40]

about letting the mind be like a wall. Some doubt about that. Some wavering around letting the mind settle completely so that there's no activity, no jumping around the outskirts of the object of awareness. This wavering is doubt, doubt in actual practice, and full faith is the faith of a Buddha whose mind completely settles on just concept, and there's no coughing or sighing in the mind. It's the realm of Dharma. You and I Can't get in there.

[05:41]

No words reach it. It's just clear awareness. The jumping around, the activity of the mind around it is the attribution, fundamentally is the attribution of substance to what you're aware of. That's the basic activity around the object. The mind like a wall drops that activity. and there's just a concept. So the prospect here is of the mind, the consciousness terminating on just the concept and nothing more and nothing less. Now there's lots of reasons for this doubt as if one was, if one settles, starts settling down on what you're aware of, your pain, your pleasure, whatever emotion, whatever idea, anyway all of them are ideas, it's not really the pain that you're dealing with, you're dealing with the concept of the pain, the concept of the pleasure, whatever it is.

[07:13]

the concept of hunger. As you settle into that, as you try to settle down with that and be still with that, if you haven't already noticed, you will probably start to notice that there is some activity around that. that there is some coughing and sighing in the mind around that concept. That's why Bodhidharma said, don't activate the mind around the object. Don't have any coughing and sighing in the mind. He said that because usually there is, even in his great disciple, even in himself, because he was just like that before he was enlightened. He had coughing and sighing around his mind. I'm setting this cup down very softly.

[08:24]

As the opposite of the way I want to set it down. For emphasis. Activity around the mind, pretty nice word, activity. What happened to Shakyamuni Buddha when he tried to sit down and just settle with mere concept? Did he notice some activity, some coughing and sighing in the mind? You know the story, don't you? It was quite a scene. the beginning of or hints of a scene like that of him happening to some of you and me this very week and before.

[09:38]

Anyway he didn't move and he didn't know what was going on he was just like us but more so and the more he didn't move the more he got challenged The activity got more and more tense. The coughing and sighing turned into, you know, tubercular coughing. Many of you have admitted, very kindly, that as you approach this place, you want to go to sleep. You want to take a nap. So do I. The only thing, the only reason why you won't is because there's too much of a storm going on and, you know, you can't. This is called going down into the Green Diagon's cave.

[10:48]

Nobody will voluntarily do this just sort of to be a good guy. You kind of need to, or you you notice you're already there. If you're already there, you're lucky because it won't be that much harder to look at what's happening. So we have a great opportunity because we're already down in a cold valley. So I'm happy when people tell me, when they say that they have doubt because mostly what I hear from people is they're acting out their doubt but they don't call it doubt.

[12:04]

I don't want to call it doubt for you. I want you to tell me it's doubt. I want you to tell me that you really don't want your mind to terminate. in mere concept, that you don't like it, you're resisting it, you want to take a nap instead, you're afraid of what will happen to you, you tell me. And you are. I appreciate those of you who have told me this. It's good that you know that, it's good that I know that. When it says, boy, it's time to set cool like Shaolin, of course it's to set cool like Shaolin, it's colder.

[13:18]

But what's the benefit of being here? And I don't know, I can't find the cartoon. He makes some response and walks off and goes and sits in this cave out behind the temple. And then the monks go out there and they look at him and they point at him, hee hee, look he's sitting fast and ha ha. What a weirdo. And then it starts snowing.

[14:23]

And they come back after I don't know how long. A day, a week, a year. Not a year I guess, but a week, a month. They come back and the snow's gotten higher and higher. And look at him, he's still sitting there in the snow. And then the picture is, they're not going hee hee anymore. In the Japanese cartoons they have like these little, they're like little droplets coming off people's face. You're just sitting there in the cold day after day. I think some of you know that when you're sitting in the cold, although you're sitting in the cold, something's hot inside. Somebody's saying, you know, I am freaking out. You know, there is damage being done to the tissue here. People sometimes get upset when they're cold.

[15:29]

Even, you know, it's funny thinking, why don't you just freeze? Well, before you freeze, people seem to get upset. I do. You're worried. What's going to happen to me? Am I going to be all right? So he said he was cool about freezing. Or whatever. Maybe he wasn't freezing. I don't know. But anyway, he was cool. Can you be cool about sitting with this mere concept. If you're comfortable and you start letting yourself down into the green dragon's cave, well, you know, why would you do that? Wouldn't you start to get nervous? What's going to happen to me next? Well, I mean, How can we get down in the place of major full-scale suffering without like being, how would you call it, without like mortifying ourselves?

[16:41]

How can you comfortably let yourself down into the cave? Well, for me, I got a letter in the mail. I didn't ask for the letter. It just came in the mail, opened it, and there I was in the cave. And it could have been just a moment, and then I'm out of the cave, but I kept being in the cave again and again. The pain kept coming back. I didn't ask for it, I got it. It was a gift to me because I sit upright. If you sit upright, you'll get a letter that'll put you in the cave. Or you'll see a face of someone that'll put you in the cave. Or something will happen anyway. All you got to do is be upright and you'll be in the cave. Now when you get in the cave some of you actually have gotten in the cave and then what do we do? We do something to get ourselves out of the cave. Now it's up to you to say whether what you're doing is trying to get yourself out of the cave. It's not for me or somebody else to say, hey you're running away from the cave.

[17:48]

You're poo-pooing or discrediting or denying or running away from this pain which was, you know, delivered to you because you're a good Zen student. You got instant admission to the dragon's cave where Zen is practiced and now you want to take a nap. Of course you do but actually try to stay awake even though it's getting tough. Try to find the mind which can stand this and the mind which can take care of you so that you don't hurt yourself. You may discover you're already wounded. Well, take care of yourself without running away. It's difficult and we have doubt about this, but this is kind of where we're at and we have a

[18:58]

an opportunity to go deeper in the rest of this practice period. I feel this session has been a shakedown cruise for the rest of the practice period, for all of us. And now we can start getting ready to actually go all the way and experience the mind terminating in mere concept. It's not that far away right now. That mind like a wall is simply the mind which does not jump around and does not attribute substance to what you're experiencing right now. which doesn't say what I'm saying is true or false, which just listens.

[20:03]

And when it listens, it hears and it makes a concept out of that. And that's it. It just stays awake with that concept and then it hears something else and converts that into another concept and just hears that concept. It doesn't really hear, it cognizes. In pleasant situations, it's difficult for the mind to terminate in your concept. because of our habits in difficult situations, it's difficult for the mind, not difficult, it's difficult for us to sit still in difficult situations and let the mind terminate. And in pleasant situations it's difficult for us to sit still and let the mind terminate.

[21:08]

It's difficult for us to let the mind die into mere concept. So I heard a birdie sing me a poem and I would say with Wallace Stevens that we must have the mind of winter in order to sit still in the dragon's cave. One must have a mind of winter to regard the frost and the boughs of the pine trees crusted with snow and have been cold a long time to behold the junipers sagging with ice

[22:37]

the spruces rough in the distant glitter of the January sun. And not to think of any misery in the sound of the wind, in the sound of a few leaves, which is the sound of the bud full of the same wind that is blowing in the same bare place for the listener who listens in the snow. and nothing himself.

[23:47]

Beholds nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. We must be that cold and that cool to sit still in this cave with Bodhidharma and let the mind terminate in mere concept. And nothing herself beholds beholds her own freezing, her own death, listens to it, doesn't meddle.

[25:00]

This is what opens the bud of the serene body of release. which is warm beyond all measure but finding this mind is bitter work and you won't be able to do it unless there's already some bitterness in your life and there is if you just would Sit still and open up to it. I don't know if

[26:17]

Now when you're listening to me, if you're practicing what I just tried to encourage you to do, I hope you are. I have some examples. of doubt, of wavering. One has to do with thinking of the future. A lot of people think, ask me, if I let the mind terminate in mere concept, how will I deal with the future and my plans for interim? How will I decide, you know, about my airplane reservations and what country I should go to?

[27:26]

As Kalupahana said, without inductive references, inductive references, in other words, if you do this, then that will happen, and then that will happen, and then that will happen. Okay? Without inductive references and conceptualizations about the future in terms of the past and present, without that we would not have any possibility of intellectual activity. In other words, we wouldn't be human beings. So can I really let the mind terminate in mere concept? What about my plans? Don't I have to think about this stuff? Or one answer is just for the next few days anyway or just for the rest of the day maybe don't think about your plans and just let it terminate.

[28:37]

Give it a try. But what about when you do have to think of those things? Can the mind terminate while you're thinking of the future? While you're making plans? to try to stop that activity of the mind wouldn't be terminating mere concept. It would be saying those are real thoughts and therefore I should stop them. It's okay to let the mind go down those paths those trains of conceptualization, if every single moment of the way you realize mere concept, mere concept, mere concept. Just like Vasubandhu said, the accomplished, the third,

[29:46]

is the ultimate meaning of events because it is also suchness. And since it is suchness, it remains such all the time. And since it does remain so all the time, it is mere concept. He just went through an intellectual operation on non-discriminating wisdom and said it's suchness. He figured that out. If you watch how... Anyway, you're not following this, so I'll stop. It's okay. Anyway, whatever you do with your mind, you must remember this. It's mere concept. You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss, a smile is just a smile.

[30:56]

Is that right? A sigh is just a sigh? Is not a smile just a smile? Is a sigh just a sigh? Is there also a smile just a smile? Or is that just something I made up? as time goes by you must remember this even when you are looking at the mere concept trying to and you can't see it because you really have not the mind has not terminated and you're being tossed about in a wild sea of torment You can't see the mere concept at that time. Your mind is not terminating in mere concept.

[32:00]

The dragon is tossing you around the cave, biting at you, gouging out your flesh, scaring the wits out of you. And not only that, but you're wondering, what's going to happen next? You don't even think, this is bad enough, I'll just sort of settle on this. You have time to think, what if it takes another bite? And that's why the dragon is tossing you around the cave. It's going to toss you around until you stop wondering what it's going to do next. I'm not kidding. You know that, don't you? You know you're going to get attacked until you finally just sit still and accept it. And then the dragon backs off. A lot of animals do that, don't they? They may come back later to check, but... This is called doubt, when you don't sit still.

[33:03]

And there are these ways. Moving, get out of the zendo, take a nap in the zendo, or get out of the zendo and take a nap. These are the ways. So how can you carefully get yourself in a position where you're not going to run away anymore? where you're not going to waver. As long as the mind doesn't terminate in mere concept, so long will the dispositions of the twofold grasping not cease. So long as your mind doesn't terminate, then when you think of the future, you're going to grasp it. When you think of the future you're going to make it real or whatever you think of you're going to make it real.

[34:10]

You will not be able to resist making it substantial. So long as we do not realize that any speculation beyond immediate sense experience which we don't know about in other words any speculation about anything we know about as long as we don't realize that any speculation like that imprisons us in mere concept we are in prison of mere concept as long as you don't realize you're in the prison of mere concept that you're stuck in mere concept and that's all you can see it's not reality it's just a concept and that's the prison you live in that's the cave you're in as long as you don't realize that you cannot resist the inclination towards making that into a reality into a substance

[35:30]

And then when you make it into a substance, it's your baby. It's not just making it a substance and, okay, there's a substance over there. You become totally enmeshed in it. And when it moves, you move. When it tips over, you tip over. Letting the mind terminate in mere concept means you realize, I am totally trapped in mere concept. I am in this cave. And this is not reality. When you're established in a state of mere concept, when the exhaustive search for something which inherently exists is abandoned, being established in such a state, then we cannot grasp anything.

[36:35]

So if I can use the example of the head monk who says, you know, there was a moment in her life when the thought came up in her mind, she had a thought in her mind, the thought was, not enough, not enough food. Woof woof woof! Does that barking hurt you?

[38:44]

Yes. No? He's happy? I'm happy. You're happy when you hear that? Is it a heartwarming experience? Yeah. Unless he's crying, then it hurts. How about that one? He wants attention. He wants somebody to come see him. So, this is an example of different mere concepts. of what that bark meant. We all have, I guess, you know, some people say that we all have some blood sugar level right now, right?

[39:59]

So she has hardly any. Somebody else has some other blood sugar level. And then we have concepts about whether we're hungry or not. Anybody got a concept that they're hungry? You're hungry? Dogen says, to penetrate one thing is to penetrate 10,000 things. An ancient Buddha said, a painting of a rice cake does not satisfy hunger.

[41:17]

Everybody knows that, right? To say a painting of a rice cake does not satisfy hunger is like saying to refrain from all unwholesome actions and to respectfully practice wholesome actions. It is like saying what is it that thus comes? Now some people when they hear The teachers say a painting of a rice cake does not satisfy hunger. They think it means, you know, like written texts, the scriptures and so on, the words that are written down on a page.

[42:23]

These paintings of the Buddha's teaching will not satisfy hunger. Some people say, these words of the Buddha will satisfy hunger, have been able to satisfy hunger sometimes. Other people say, yeah, well when he said them it did, but when you write them down they won't satisfy your hunger. That's what some people think it means when you say, a painting of a rice cake will not satisfy hunger. But Dogen says, it's like saying, what is it that thus comes? When somebody says a painting of a rice cake will not satisfy hunger you hear what is it that thus comes? What was just said? What was it that you just heard? When he said a painting of a rice cake does not satisfy hunger. You can get into what it means this or it means that

[43:30]

Dogen didn't say what it meant. He said it's just like saying, what is it that thus comes? It's the same kind of expression. It's like saying, I say, what, you know, a painting of a rice cake does not satisfy hunger. That's the same as saying, don't do evil. Do good. The great master Yun Men said to a monk, no, a monk asked Yun Men, what is your statement, teacher, about going beyond Buddhas and surpassing ancestors?

[45:15]

And Yun Men said, a sesame rice cake. Dogen Zenji said, you should quietly examine these words. When this sesame rice cake is actualized, the ancient... When this sesame... Opening the matter and hurling it back as a sesame rice cake is itself two or three painted rice cakes. Yunmun's statement

[46:18]

is one that goes beyond Buddhas and surpasses ancestors, an activity that enters Buddhas and enters demons. Dogen's late teacher, Rujeng, said, a tall bamboo and a banana appear in a painting. This phrase means that things beyond measure are actualized together in a painting. This phrase means that things beyond measure are actualized in a painting. Your future, your past, all your life plans, your hunger are all beyond measure and they are actualized together in a painting.

[47:45]

All things in the universe are of course, you know, beyond measure. The cry of a dog, the bark of a baby, are beyond measure. They come to us with everything. Everything comes to us and we convert it into a painting. We never fail to make a painting. And we may remember, but we often forget that we have just made painting, that we are trapped in our painting. We also live in a world of direct experience where things beyond measure are constantly touching us in ways beyond measure, in ways beyond measure.

[48:52]

Our life is not a measure of these things, our life is just a completely supported by these things. But these things that are impacting on us beyond measure are actualized in a painting. The tall bamboo and the banana appear in a painting. Dogen says, know that the entire heaven and earth are the roots, the entire heaven and roots, the entire heaven and earth are the roots, stem and branches and leaves of the tall bamboo. Thus, this makes heaven and earth timeless.

[50:00]

This makes the great oceans, Mount Sumeru, and the worlds in the ten directions indestructible. The walking stick and the arched bamboo staff are both old and not old. The entire Heaven and earth are the roots, stems and branches of the tall bamboo which is actualized. The entire heaven and earth are actualized in the painting of a bamboo and the entire world are the roots, stems, branches, leaves and so on of the tall bamboo. The banana has earth, water, fire, wind, emptiness, mind, consciousness, and wisdom.

[51:07]

The banana has earth, water, fire, emptiness, mind, consciousness, and wisdom as its roots, stems, branches, leaves, flowers, fruits, colors, and forms. Accordingly, the banana wears the autumn wind. The banana wears the autumn wind and it is torn by the autumn wind. We know that it is pure and clear and that it is not a single particle excluded. Now, the fluctuations of the tall bamboo and the banana are a painting.

[52:17]

Those who experience great awakening upon hearing the sound of bamboo, whether they are snakes or dragons, are all paintings. Do not doubt it with limited views that separate ordinary from sacred. That bamboo pole is just tall. That pole is just short. This pole is just long. That pole is just short. As these are all paintings, The painted form of long and short always accord with each other. When you paint something long, it cannot be without painting something short. Thoroughly investigate the meaning of this.

[53:25]

Because the entire world and all phenomena are paintings, human existence appears from a painting. and Buddha ancestors are actualized from a painting. Since this is so, there is no remedy for satisfying hunger other than a painted rice cake. Without painted hunger, you never become a true person. Without painted hunger, you never become a true person. If you have hunger, which is not just a painting of hunger, you are someone who is caught

[54:36]

in your belief in substantial existence. If you waver and try to prove your position, you're caught even more. A true person has painted hunger and uses a painted rice cake to satisfy it. A true person is willing to be just like Buddha was before enlightenment. And before enlightenment we are trapped in a painted world of mere concept. There is no understanding other than painted satisfaction.

[55:40]

In fact, studying hunger, satisfying no hunger, not satisfying hunger, not satisfying no hunger cannot be attained or spoken of without painted hunger. For some time, for some time, study. all of these as painted rice cakes. When you understand this meaning with your body and mind, you will thoroughly master the ability to turn things and be turned by things. If this is not done, the power of the study of the way is not yet realized. To enact this ability is to actualize the painting of enlightenment. So we have to decide whether we're going to hold on to our cherished beliefs

[57:00]

or turn around and go in the other direction, whether we're going to say, this is reality and I happen to be able to see it, or whether we say, well, what I'm seeing is actually a painting of reality and that's what I see. I'm no longer in charge of the truth, I'm in charge of a bunch of paintings. Painting of cold, painting of pain, painting of hunger, painting of being insulted, painting of being complimented, painting of enlightenment.

[58:06]

If I'm not willing to be this way, I can't be a true person because true persons are actuated from being a regular person and regular people are living in a world of dreams and constantly being shocked by their belief in the reality of dreams. If you can realize that this is a dream, that this is a painting of the world, and that's where the shock comes, is that you don't understand it's a painting. If you understand it's a painting, the shock will go away. You will not be able to grasp enlightenment when it's a painting. You will not be able to grasp bamboo or banana or pain or mountains or rivers.

[59:08]

When you don't grasp them, This is the serene body of release. But you cannot avoid grasping them. You will not be able to avoid grasping them. You will throw your whole self into them. You will grab them with your whole being as long as you think that they're not just a painting. It is irresistible to grab these babies. We're built that way. But when you realize it's a painting, you don't eat paintings of rice cakes. And if you do, you're usually pretty detached about it. One must have a mind of winter to regard the frost and the boughs of the pine trees crusted with snow, and have been cold a long time to behold the junipers sagging with ice, the spruces rough in the distant glitter of the January sun.

[60:43]

and not to think of any misery in the sound of the wind, in the sound of a few leaves, which is the sound of the bud full of the same wind that is blowing in the same bare place for the listener who listens in the snow and nothing herself beholds nothing that is not there and nothing that is there. Thank you very much for letting me talk about pain and hunger.

[62:34]

I've really been aching to do it for many years. I hope it wasn't too obnoxious to you. I always felt like they'd lock me up if I talked about this before. So I finally got it out of my system. And I hope now that I've got it on my system I can talk about it some more, because I think this is one of the most wonderful teachings of Dogen's. And Master Yuen Mun, it gets right in there. at that place where delusion and enlightenment turn on each other, where real delusion turns on painted enlightenment, and painted enlightenment turns to real delusion, and real delusion turns to real enlightenment, and real enlightenment gets made into painted enlightenment, and where painted enlightenment becomes excruciating delusion, and where excruciating delusion

[63:56]

becomes excruciating delusion, becomes excruciating delusion, becomes a painting of excruciating delusion, becomes a painting of enlightenment, and turns into real enlightenment from being a painting of enlightenment. So you got some delusion? If you got some delusion, enlightenment's just on the other side of the coin. You've got some delusion, you've got some pain and delight and enlightenment. You've got some pain and enlightenment, you've got some real delusion. You've got some real shocking dreams there. But it's not hard to live with this dynamic reality. We have a strong habit to want to get out of there and take a nap. Because there's no you there in that world of Dharma.

[65:01]

Light turning on darkness, turning on light. Light and dark spinning, spinning, spinning. There's no you there. And you don't have to chop yourself up and throw yourself in the garbage can. All you need to do is enter that place and yourself will drop off. If you're willing to enter, then you're willing to drop it off. there's a possibility to culminate this study, to go thoroughly and far enough on this study to actually get some actual confirmation of your practice. We're not that far. Please be thorough. and I'm rooting for you, and if you have doubt, that's fine, it shows there's faith.

[66:17]

If there's some doubt, then you know you're wavering on something there, and we can settle with that doubt. May God and Swami be with you. Namaskaram.

[66:43]

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