up the word renounced worldly affairs, I have been encouraging us to enter into the practice of renouncing worldly affairs. And I have been, to some extent, through the Dharma, hardly until I feel like I myself have gone pretty well down to the pit of relinquishing all activities of thought.

[01:04]

in a sense I haven't really been expressing myself, but more what I've been expressing is saying over and over, So as you notice I've been staying in the room here with you. I don't know how much longer I'm going to stay. Not just to show you but also to show myself that I'm sincere about the work of going down. and that I really do think the sadness is good.

[02:14]

I try to find a way to be compassionate to myself and to others under the circumstances that we share here. So I saw an image come to my mind of the Bodhisattva of Infinite Compassion, which I brought up yesterday, and then again this morning, another image of Kamsayon came up, which I shared with you before, and that is when I was in Paris, I went to the Nice Guimet, And there I saw a statue, a carved wooden statue of Kanzayon sitting in a dragon cave, a jagged stone grotto, cross-legged with her hands in the cosmic concentration mudra that you have in your hands now.

[03:35]

And there were two little shelves on either side of her body in this cave. And on one shelf there was the flower, the lotus flower which she often has in her hand. And on the other shelf there was the vase that the flower is often emerging from. These are the tools of her trade which she has set aside. In some sense the tools of our trade are our worldly affairs. Worldly affairs is all we have to use to help people actually. Our thought activities, our activities of thought are the basis of our actions by which we can help people. So the beings of infinite compassion use the same materials that ordinary people use

[04:42]

It's just that they have been initiated into the essence of mind, and the initiation process posed here, this fiery initiation, is the initiation of setting everything aside, of disentangling from everything. and watching the mind resist that, or be overly enthusiastic about it. So the practice that she demonstrated, and which I'm recommending as the first initiation, is the practice of not moving.

[05:47]

And it's not doing anything. It's putting aside all action, even putting aside the source of action, stopping all movements of the conscious mind. But again, there is a time in maintaining Buddhadharma when we get very active and when become very expressive, but I'm suggesting now that we put aside expression and get to the fundamental, get down to the essence of your mind, which will appear when you give everything else, including what you think that is.

[06:49]

But let me say again, if you have some resistance to doing this because you think, well, geez, that couldn't be all of Buddhism, well, you're right. This is really not the way. This is simply a raft to get to the other side of your delusions so you can really go to This is putting aside the diluted mind. Thank you.

[09:06]

Okay. Okay. Okay.

[13:43]

So I'm carefully considering whether to say anything, and I thought about it all this time while I was quiet. Because in a way I don't want to point or direct your attention in any way, unless necessary. I don't want to add my pointing or my suggestion to your activities of thought. which I encourage you to set aside, put on the shelf.

[15:51]

But I thought that just in case you have not put aside everything, that if you still are pointing in your mind that I might have some counterpoints. To give you some examples of counterpoints to meet these impulses and these obsessions, some counter-obsessions. If you're at the place where no thoughts and no words reach, then my words will peter out on their way to you.

[17:10]

If you're still involved in anything, then maybe you can use the words I send you to drop your involvement. So if you're still involved in thinking, which involves carrying yourself around, where you bring yourself to your actions, When you bring a self to practice and verifying events, then I would suggest that as a way to end this line of karma, that you follow this path that you're on of you doing things, follow that to the end.

[18:34]

follow it to the place where this kind of activity comes to an end. Which means that you're simply aware of the beginning. of actions that you do, that you notice the beginning of you doing something, of you thinking something, of you thinking, posturing and speaking. And you notice the middle of it.

[19:44]

And you notice the later part of it. And you notice the end of it. You notice the whole process of your action. This kind of observation is not for any purpose.

[21:23]

It's just in the spirit of putting aside and relinquishing the activity which is going on. Because if we don't maintain mindfulness of these activities of mind, we naturally get entangled in. Unless we can be thoroughly aware of them as they're happening, we tend to just join in the forward movement. So the setting aside isn't doing anything, and yet it is very alert. and not just alert to the experience per se, but to the burden of self on top of the experience.

[22:40]

Unless it's not there, and if it's not there, then you've come to the end. Then you've just witnessed the end of the burden of self. and then you have disentangled. If you can't see it, it's either because you've finished or because you're still not clear enough to see that you're carrying this thing around and projecting it onto everything. That you're carrying the self and putting it on top of every experience. and making every experience into a thing, into a self. If you can't find yourself doing things, you can find yourself doing things in the things being things.

[23:45]

Then you put the burden of yourself onto each experience, and that way you can find it before you act and on everything that you act upon. It's so pervasive, this burden, that it's hard to notice it. Like it says, with every thought concealed, always concealed, this self-view. And yet you can feel it. and you feel it, you think, you do things. I do things. And there is a place of impact between self and other, between self and element.

[24:47]

It's the place where the world can turn. if you're there. It's a place where you actually can finally drop self and drop all these activities. Not even you drop, they just drop. Like the schedule. As Thayu said to Arlene, if you don't follow the schedule you won't be able to drop body and mind. Another way to say it is, following the schedule, like along with all the other monks, following the schedule is the self of body-mind dropped off. but any experience that you follow to the end at that point the self terminates there and meets the other.

[26:07]

There's a point at which there's an end to the self doing things and at that point is the beginning of things doing the self. To be particularly on the lookout for things doing the self I don't think is best because you'll still be looking for a self in the things, in all things, doing-self, and it'll just be the same thing again. However, if you do get into looking for all things coming forth to make yourself, just remember that that's another example of yourself now looking for this special event, which you may have heard is enlightenment.

[27:18]

But in fact, if you just watch the place where this ends, which is also the place it starts, this is the pivot where spiritual work turns. This is the pivot where the thinking or Manas becomes purified. So we don't, I'm not recommending that you do a thing called trying to stop yourself from doing something but rather to follow what you're doing to the end.

[28:57]

That involves relinquishing worldly affairs. Worldly affairs is to not follow what you're doing to the end. It's to dance on the surface. It's to dance on the Self, on the surface of the Self. What I'm talking about is not the Buddha way, okay?

[31:20]

The Buddha way is, I think, what you really want. It's where you really act and interact with being in a beneficial way. gentle, liberating way. Talking about an initiation into the actual practice, not pretend, not wanting to, it kind of thing, but the actual, actual, actual practice of enlightenment.

[32:35]

The gate to this actual practice, the gate to the unfoldment of the way things actually work, is not interesting. It's not painful. It's not pleasant. It is simply renunciation. That's all it is, and that's nothing either. It just means give up all retreats. It doesn't mean stop making excuses.

[33:46]

It means when you're making excuses, just relinquish that activity. When you're complaining, when you're blaming, when you're trying to get something, just renounce that, renounce everything. But again, not in theory, but in actual experience. Whatever trip you're actually on, whatever delusion, whatever enlightenment you're actually working with, that's the thing which in actual practice has to be relinquished.

[34:52]

left behind. Until this is done, everything is vain discussion. After it's done, everything is not vain discussion. Everything's a wonderful, what can I say? Everything is totally awesome and cool. So I'm painting myself into a corner by virtue of my faith where I have to do this work and I can't pretend otherwise with any integrity.

[36:22]

It's rather embarrassing But part of my understanding is that once I'm completely painted into this corner of renunciation, at some point after that, I will burst out of nothing that I give myself into. If that happens, don't be distracted by me. I'm not telling you to do the same, until you've done the same work. My behavior will not be encouragements to be like me. I practice like I'm practicing. But now, I tell you, I'm going down, and I encourage you to come with me. Like I say, unless you're already there, and then at the time that you're ready, you can burst out.

[37:36]

But honestly speaking, have I really settled down? Have I stopped moving, really? Have I found my city? Have I really put everything aside for a moment at least? If so, isn't it time to pick up the vase and flower again? If not, I need to sit longer. More still, more quiet, and give up more deeply. Give up more deeply. Every technique, every method.

[38:50]

Including this one. There's a story about this process. Just kidding. There's millions of stories about this process. And I think I'll tell you the first half of one of these stories.

[40:02]

Now the introduction. I warn you. It starts off by talking about how it is after you settle down. It starts out by pointing to your capacity as it will unfold when you stop fooling around with your thinking. So, in the ocean is the world of dragons. Now a new sporting goods store, Serene Sports. The sky is the home of cranes. They fly and call freely.

[41:13]

These are the creatures of the Buddha way. Cranes, dragons, gorillas. Why does the exhausted fish stop in a shallow pond and the sluggish duck rest in the reeds? Is there any way to measure gain and loss? Anyway, I know where there's a sluggish duck and a exhausted fish. The fish is exhausted, dreaming of being something other than a fish, wanting to be a dragon. she has to accept her exhaustion completely and somehow stay awake.

[42:32]

The acceptance of this exhaustion, again, is not theoretical. It is alert admission of it as you feel it. The admission is not painful. What is being admitted may well be pain. I don't know. This sluggish duck also is sluggish because her energy has been depleted through outflows around the way she messes around and holds on to her thought activities. She's all pooped out and dull because so much energy has been spent by him on worldly affairs. The ones who can sit still with whatever kind of a fish or duck you are can enter into the realm where dragons and Garudas are born.

[43:55]

And also I have to say to you and to myself, it doesn't count to go part way. It doesn't count to go part way. You can't like sort of settle into being a duck and a fish. You can't sort of spend a little bit of time or a lot or many, many years even settling down halfway, 99%. If there's a thread of holding out, of not admitting that you wish you weren't a fish, then you're still. Is a special breed of worldly affairs. Some of you may Be happy to know, be happy to see, be not have that problem.

[45:05]

That you got more than a shred that you're holding on to. Big heavy-duty chunks. So now you have that to look forward to. But you might be able to jump from chunks to nothing, so don't worry. So here's a story, a monk comes to Yangshan and Yangshan says, where do you come from? And the monk says, from Yu province. Yangshan says, do you think of that place? And the monk says, I always think of it. I always think of it," the monk said.

[46:23]

Before Buddhas were enlightened, they were just like that. They were always thinking of new province. They were always thinking of where they come from, just like we do. This monk was honest and upright. So Yangshan said, The thinker is the mind, and the thought of is the environment. Therein, the environment, there are mountains, rivers, lands, buildings, towers, halls, chambers, people, animals, and so forth. Reverse your thought. Learn the backwards step and think of the thinking mind. Think of your worldly activities.

[47:48]

of your mental activities. Which is another way to say, just think of what you're thinking of. In other words, renounce them by simply thinking of them rather than being carried away. Turn around and look at them. This is renouncing them. Study the place where you think of it, where you say it, where you do it. That's the thinking minds. Think of that thinking mind. Think of your ability to think.

[48:55]

Watch how you can think. This is how to relinquish your mental activities. Relinquish them by simply thoroughly admitting them. Admit them to the end of them. Admit them at the beginning, at the middle, and at the end. Do nothing but that. To be in such a state is called to be in a state of renunciation. No matter what the state is, whether you're an exhausted fish or a sluggish duck, whatever, even if you're a dragon or a Garuda or a crane,

[50:15]

One of the problems of giving these talks is that some of you don't start listening until the very end of the talk and that's a difficult time to start giving the talk. Now, if I give my talk for another hour or two, you would really hear it. But there's problems of doing that kind of thing. And when I say you would really hear it, I mean I would really hear it too. I don't know exactly how to get around this.

[52:47]

I thought of, you know, well how about we could just come together and then this problem with the kitchen and so on, we just come together and sit for about an hour or so and then I start to talk. Another way that usually happens is I just wait until the sixth or seventh day. And then most people, everybody's pretty much up. But I feel a little silly sometimes talking for the first five days. It's kind of a problem. And it's a, you know, it's a mutual thing. I don't mean to put it out someplace outside myself. This aligning yourself with kanzean, with, you know,

[54:09]

this compassion which will help you, which will guide you, which will guide all of us to the place where we can hear the Dharma, which will guide us to sitting still. which will embrace us and sustain us in our fear of what will happen to us if we renounce worldly affairs which will gently whisper in our ear that it will be all right if we give everything up

[55:27]

that will be taken care of. And yes, dear, it really is a good idea. All the Buddhas have done this. And this mind of renunciation is a place where you actually can hear the Dharma. that you so dearly want to hear. With the true pain of the last way.

[56:34]

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