What are you going to do at the meeting? So you're going to pass it to the Senate on to people? Do they know each other's address and stuff? Sure. Yeah. And if you want to be on mailing list of my schedule, you don't have to do anything. If you don't want to be on the mailing list, if you don't want to get another piece of paper in the mail, tell Diane that She won't put your name on the menu. Some of your names, they're already on the menu, of course. But if you do not want to receive announcements of other retreats, you tell her and then she'll cross you and you want the list. They already had you in your dresses that were anywhere for gone. Right? That's what you should have. Which version would you like to do it?

[01:06]

I can tell you, or I'd like to jump on it. Oh, there's a good one. Oh, yeah. So maybe that's better. If you have a computer, an internet, you can find the schedule on it. If you want to read a piece of paper then, okay. Tell Diana, just to turn it on the mental list. If you want a mental list, it's going to tell each other where each other lives, right? Yeah. Okay. All right, so. Now I'm at noon. Three is the end of noon. There's quite a few things that we could discuss.

[02:26]

Interesting things come up when I'm talking to people in the interviews. One of the things that I found myself talking some days off was, you know, like, if you're, uh, on a stress part, you throw something up in the air and catch it, it requires some concentration to do that. You may be able to see. Yeah, you may be able to do that. Just to pay attention. And then you can take three things and enjoy them all. And then the other way.

[03:36]

And the other one. [...] So then gradually you can juggle two things. Okay? Little by little, you can get better at juggling two things. It's refracted, you know. It's better. Okay? You can come higher, like that. But you notice I failed a few times. And then if you can do three, that's pretty good, three, right? And if you get to three, That shows you're paying quite a bit of attention probably because you're not actually totally distracted.

[04:43]

After a while you can probably do it without paying much attention, but still there's some attention there. Here it comes and you catch it. You don't think so much time thinking, oh no, not another little thing coming. Maybe sometimes you think, oh, that one's getting kind of far away. If you don't talk about it too much, it's because you mostly like trying to feel it. Catch it. Not too much time to turn. I'd say it's too high that time. It might feel up a little higher. Oh, how this works? What? What's that? No, it didn't stop. No. That's a treat. And if you can do a tree, you can enjoy what it's like to do this with your tree. Even throwing one up. You just sit here and don't throw one up. You see what that's like. And then you see what it's like when you shift into, like, a different world of these different lines than not doing it.

[05:50]

And it feels pretty good, actually, because, you know, your mind somewhat concentrated, but it's good. You know, it's fun to be concentrated. You're paying attention to what's coming, right? In your two, your three, you're a little bit more concentrated, a little bit more at the exit, a little less distracted, okay? And then sometimes, then from three on to just the number of balls or whatever objects that you're doing increases, in some cases, you might willingly want to go to four Partly because of a challenge and also because you kind of know that your skill would have to increase. Partly to accomplish more, but also partly for the fun of it being more skillful. And partly being more skillful also being more concentrated. And more concentrated means less stress. Less stress means less attaching to things that not actually come.

[06:50]

So you become actually calmer and you struggle more involved. Does that make sense? The more balls you juggle, generally speaking, you're going to get calm. But when you go from three to four, at first you might make some mistakes. So you might not feel calm. Well, that's because you haven't yet gone from three to four. You used to do three if you felt pretty calm. That was nice. But now that you're moving into four, you still have maybe less calm than you did when you were doing three. But actually, If you're not taking less time, you're stretching them to be more time temporarily to make mistakes if you're dropping balls. But you might voluntarily say, well, I'd like to extend my skill for the four balls. And if you could then go to five, six, seven, up to maybe 11, you might be able to tell the difference in the

[07:56]

quality of your consciousness, the difference in the quality of your training and attention at 11, there's the way it's used to be at 3. And you might notice that there's less distraction at 11 than there was at 3. You just have less time to think of anything besides judging from your daily life. At 3, And you might say, well, even after you get used to 11, then it's possible. But still, at a certain point, even though you get used to it, there's still no time left. So at 11, you're in more toxic phase. Even though more has happened, it's more toxic. Because your wish will happen. A couple of things I was going to mention about this. One is, you're cheap. Now, you know this, but I want to bring it out. That if it's going from three balls, juggling three balls, or even going from one to three, not to mention three to eleven, the space between three and eleven is many, many things.

[09:00]

Many areas. So whatever level of training you've been doing with your present state of consciousness, go from here to much more stable, much more steady, much more alert, much more skillful way of handling what happens. There's going to be a lot of mistakes. If you don't try anything, if you don't try to meditate, if you don't try to practice the precepts, then you might not make that many mistakes. But if you try to develop your full potential between here and realizing that there's going to be many failures, failures are part of the policy. growing. It still grows when you're challenged and you reach a limit and you say, okay, I'm willing to go beyond it. Then you slip and you can save.

[10:02]

But you need to, in order to grow, you need to accept that you fail and do it. If you're not willing to do that, then you're not willing to go. Let me say, take all that pleasure, that stupid, active, homeless pleasure. because you realize that it makes sense for me to judge it. But now, it wasn't terribly sudden for me to drop his balls, but you enjoyed it. So, when I realized you were enjoying it, I didn't really mind that much anymore. Although it bothered me, it's painful to look so awkward and foolish, but not too much, because I'm teaching the willingness Bodhisattvas would be awkward and foolish. Bodhisattvas willingly come into the world with awkwardness, foolishness, mistakes, and failures. They do that happily. They play with other people who if they were actually up for life, they would be awkward and foolish too.

[11:06]

That's quite fun and funny. But the audience is fake. That's part of the deal. If you're not willing to make mistakes, you're not going to be able to introduce your speech, and you're not going to be able to help yourself. The other aspect of it is that when you're doing a certain number of balls, you feel quite concentrated. Even though you know that if you would increase the number of balls, you would have to, your skill would grow in that process if you could increase it. Even though it's the case, you may not be up for the challenge of more balls. You may not be up for mistakes if you would make it from each video you had a ball more. Understandable. Awesome. Anyway, nobody asks you to at least talk to another. And now you drop all your balls.

[12:07]

And the question must be said. You know, I've been asking that for me to a teacher and so on and so forth. So I just realized, oh, it's a chance. It's been up to grow. And this is the tiny, tiny growers that I found. And this is my limit. It's growing. I made a mistake in learning something. I was doing okay before. I wasn't making a mistake. But when I wasn't making a mistake, I wasn't learning it so much. Now, I've made a mistake. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing learning. I'm the beginner at four balls. I was a champion of three balls, and now I'm at the gym with four balls. I was a champion in the relating community, and now you have a film, and I'm at the beginning of relating community to a similar film.

[13:17]

And I'm positive, and I don't know the story, and I don't know how to spell it. This is a whole new ball game. Before we were young, actually carefully, and now we're older when we're at the heat with a similar game. But I remember only I came here to play. To play. We could have new games all the time so I could grow and become Buddha. So that I could help people. With all the challenges. Such a big part of this. This thing. That we're willing to talk for another disease. A new disease. We weren't holding this disease. We don't like this disease. Like we don't typically like a ball. we like the opportunity of working with these videos. That's kind of the spirit of what we call the Bodhisattva practice of enthusiasm.

[14:24]

If you want to climb a very cheap home in order to help people, Where is it? No, actually, I'm kind of busy right now. I'd be willing to walk down here, but not us, though. Now, it's okay to say, you know, oh, I don't want to do it. That's okay. It's fine. It's fine. But are you feet there? Are you, you know, are you full of joy, sir? You know, I just don't want to do it. I'm so happy to tell you I do not want to help you. I'm so happy. It's just I'm thrilled at the opportunity of not helping you. Fine. Fine. That could happen. Usually, if somebody wants your help and you don't want to give it, usually you're not happy about food. Usually if you hate somebody and they ask you to give them all your money and you say, no way, you don't feel good.

[15:27]

That doesn't feel so good. That's the thing with your feelings. It's, you know, your unpleasant feeling of hating. You hate them. You don't enjoy hating them. And then they ask you for all your money. I'm not going to give you all my money. I hate you. Forget it. Are you crazy? Let me give you all my money. This is actually a given. That's fine. Because every time I'm expressing myself, every time I'm being honest, rather than, okay, I hate them. Well, now I really feel bad because I hate them, I'm not giving to them, and also I'm lying. And also I'm a coward. But what feels good is when somebody comes Somebody comes to ask me for a gift. I'm just saying, could you give me some blood? And you don't like them. And you thought you were interested in something valuable like blood. And you thought you didn't want to give it to you.

[16:29]

And then you forget that you didn't want to. And you say, yeah, here, here's my blood. And you realize a whole new world. And you're very happy. See, I can't forget. Or another way to put it is, you wake up and see who it is that's coming. Sorry about this great, this great phase in India. There was a great sage in India. And this young man heard about this great sage and traveled long distance to study with him. And he was happily studying with this great sage.

[17:30]

And at one point, the sage and all his disciples were going to go to have a little sage effect. It's going to be special teaching. and they were going to walk from one side of it at the end to the end of the river to the other. And so the sage and all of his disciples, and a lot of the disciples were carrying the sage's equipment. He had that tank, stuff like that, cushions, various equipment, so they could set up the sage's circus at this wonderful event. The sage went first, and they got to the river, and at the river was this woman who was I don't remember exactly, but, you know, she had, like, lots of physical problems. Looks like she had, like, lots of open sores, and there was a few maggots helping her back in the evening. She's now in the bed and coming back to her mental. She's having kind of a hard time with her body. And that's the other thing.

[18:34]

She said to the pig, Hey, hey, Sonny, could you carry me across the river? And he said, I'd be happy to, actually, but I'm turning on Salisa in my disposal for help me. So then the next thing she asked, the next one, they all were busy carrying other things. They didn't find it disgusting, exactly. I mean, they didn't treat her. They all said, no, there's people down the line that are carrying less stuff, probably to look at you, too. So quite a long line, by the time, with the newcomer that I told you about, sort of at the end of the school, junior, junior students. So he was at the end. But he was carrying stuff, too. But when he got through, he thought, oh, well, According to the teachings of my guru, my page, I could say I should carry her as well.

[19:39]

So I guess I should carry her as well. But he picked her up, all kind of dewy and oozy and very fluid. He picked her up, you know, and kind of squished her into his body and kept carrying the other stuff he was carrying. And then he started, you know, kind of like struggling to cross the river from the sandbar. You know, suddenly, the feet weren't on the ground anymore, and that they were moving up into the sky. And they kept going higher and higher, and they were looking down, and there was this guru and the other disciples. They were looking up at him, and this mass of stuff started to change its form, and it became this great female Buddha. The yogini, and it's the indestructible yogini.

[20:40]

So that's who the person needs to help. The person needs to help. All the people who need to help are really Buddha and knocking on the door. And those, and those, Hello? Do you have time for Buddha? Sometimes you don't. That's good to be honest. I do not have time for Buddha. I'm sorry. Yeah, I've got too many Buddhas now. I've got seven Buddhas. One more is too much for me. But, you know, I realize, you know, that there's an opportunity of growth here. If I tried to carry you with all the other booties, I probably would fall down the stairs. I'm not up for that. Thank you, Doctor.

[21:46]

Or I'll be right back. I'll just carry them across the river and come back and just shoot them in a while. Anyway, there's many other stories, wonderful stories of, you know, a little group here. And... And there's many other stories in the Demolocritus here. But I wondered if there's anything you want to bring up. Some of you may want to get. Melody. Melody.

[22:48]

Melody. [...] What would you like to say? Also, some people think we should let go. I'll be not liking alcohol, I'll say. No.

[24:03]

No. I would suggest the main thing you trust is the practice. Don't trust people. Trust the practice. And even trust the practice doesn't even think, oh, practice works. I would say trust the practice means practice. So what's the practice? The practice is, okay, the practice is not that I trust George Bush. or algorithms, or you, that I trust being devoted to you. That's what I trust. I trust being devoted to you means I practice being devoted to you. But it doesn't mean I trust that it's going to work. I just think there's a possibility it works, and I'll trust it if they stand up, I'll practice it, and see if it does. And if it doesn't, if being devoted to you doesn't work, in other words, it doesn't make me, first of all, And eventually, you too, because some people don't like the way I'm devoted to.

[25:12]

I don't need your devotion. Get out of my space. But when I feel devoted to somebody, I feel good. And my devotion to you includes that I want to know how it's working for you. But my devotion to you might be, Melody, I would like to tell you something you won't hear. when you say yes, because I do not agree with your policy on capital punishment. I don't like that you have been the governor of Texas while 25 people have been killed in the last few years. I'm totally opposed to that. I want you to do it a different way. That's part of my devotion to it, to tell you how I feel. My gift to you is me. I have certain views, but I'm not attached to my view. And the reason why I'm not attached to my view is that I want to promote my view. I'm attached to my view and to view. Because I'm not attached to my view, I can tell you that I don't like what you're doing and still respect this at any time.

[26:17]

I respect you, but I'm trusted. And if somebody asked me, who could be in charge of deciding whether the people are killed, I wouldn't sign you with a job to take your track record to have you doesn't really want you to try this thing. So, you have not demonstrated to my view what I call compassion. This can be part of my devotion. I trust that devotion. I trust calling the truth. I trust the precepts. It means I practice. But if they don't work, if calling the truth doesn't work, if not stealing doesn't work, I'll try another. I'll try stealing. But, you know, actually, I've already tried this. I've done plenty of it. I haven't found it to be really workable. I've lied. It doesn't mean anything. So I've already tried breaking the food for quite a while, and now I'm trying not breaking them, and I'm finding usually the good deal. So I trust them to try it, and I try it, and I get feedback that I've worked so I can feel it.

[27:22]

And I've tried being concerned for my own health and worried about my health, and I find it that way, that orientation, Something needs to be more happy. It makes me kind of unhappy. And the concern of other people's health helps me be healthier. I take better care of myself than I'm concerned with other people's health. Like I brush my teeth, I think primarily for my dentist. And for you. And you don't have to have, you know, like, you know, I don't want you to have to deal with such a rotten situation. So I clean my teeth for you and the dentist, and most of all for this dental hygienist. With that orientation, I've been taking much better care of my teeth. But just for myself, oh, I'm so worried, blah, blah, blah, I think I'll take some drugs. I don't have to worry about keeping. So the orientation of devotion is happiness, the orientation of being worried about me.

[28:23]

I trust that. Try it. I tried it. I'm not supposed to tell you more stories about my wife, but I thought I'd hold this to it if I could tell it to me. Because it's in the public domain. And that is, after being married for a pretty long time, like down in the hallway, more than 10 years, maybe 15 years, she said to me one time, She said, you know, I've got a practice that would be good for you to do. It's called uxoriousness. Uxoriousness. It's a practice for husband. Uxor, I think there's a Latin word for wife. Uxoriousness was my wife's home man, which was actually not the definition of addiction. The definition she told me was that uxoriousness means to be devoted to your wife. She said, I think that would be good practice for you. I said, OK.

[29:27]

I was ready for it. For some reason, she hadn't told me about that. I think she knew about this all those years. But she never thought to tell me to practice it. I don't know why she overlooked it. It didn't occur to her. Anyway, after all those years, she said, why don't you practice it? And it was kind of like an idea who's trying to come. And I was ready to say, OK. So I tried it. And it was an immediate success to me. And she liked it a little. But mostly it helped me. It's like the women's movement. I don't know if women's liberation, I don't know if it's helped women at all. I think it's been very good for me. You know, it's raised our consciousness a little. So it's been very good for men, and women are still struggling with it, because it's their movement, right? So there's politics and all that, right? But anyway, it isn't that we trust people, it's that we trust devotion to people. And if you've got a problem with somebody, some politician, and you're devoted to them, and if you trust being devoted to them, you see that being devoted to them develops in a relationship with them.

[30:38]

I think it will. If they're doing something they don't like, and you're their enemies, they'll probably think, oh, my enemies don't like this, so I guess I could do what my enemies don't like. If these people hate, they probably should do whatever they don't like. But if people love me, then it doesn't make sense to me doing what people that love me don't like. Because people who love me are intelligent people. They know they're smart, obviously. So if intelligent, loving people, especially intelligent, loving people who love me, don't like what I'm doing, I have to look at that a little bit. But if people who hate me, who are obviously crazy, don't like it, then I'm probably doing the right thing. So since they're already doing something they don't like, you fighting them can very likely make it worse, make them more sure they're right, and drag them more into withdrawal and protection and self-righteousness.

[31:40]

Then with love, they can relax a little bit and maybe drop their self-righteousness, consider perhaps they could sometimes be awful. And in a loving environment, they're old enough to that possibility that maybe we could be making mistakes, especially if the person is bringing up the questions. to someone who's been kind to us. And you'd love them to say, have you ever considered to talk today that he's missing a statement in you? So yeah, so you don't have to agree with him. You don't have to trust him. You can also speak to someone you love very dear to them, your own child or your own spouse, your own parent. And if you're drunk, you see them heading toward the car. You don't trust that they're going to drive the car. What you trust is that you'd like to protect them from driving the car. And you like to protect everybody else from being in the car. So you walk over there and you try to tell them about how to feel. And you talk to them and you just snatch the key out of their hands and run.

[32:40]

And then you lock the car first and then run first. You're not trying to control them. You're just trying to get the control of people. Because you don't trust them for driving. But you love them and you want to protect them. But you don't trust them for driving. Maybe you're wrong. Maybe they drive well. It's possible. But you don't want to accept trust in them. So you just act that way. You don't trust them. You trust your friends. So you try it. Try it for one week. Try it for one year. And maybe you find, hey, this really works. And so, luxuriousness has worked on me. I used to be somewhat concerned about what my wife was going to do for me. Those were the unhappiness. Now, I'm just concerned about what I can do for my wife. These are the happiness. And then later, I looked up the word, and I found out that what it says, the definition of ridiculousness, is something like ridiculousness.

[33:51]

ridiculously devoted husband. Or excessive, excessive, no, excessive devotion to one's wife. And I went back and told my wife, it says excessive devotion. She says, I know that. Overdo it. Any others? Yes, please. Yes. Great. For healing and for all for healing and harmony. Right. Yeah. Yes. Right.

[35:17]

I agree. I think healing yourself not only makes you better able to help others and heal them, but also it helps you... I mean, it's not only you in a better position and a better state of body and mind to help them, but also you understand the very thing you want to help them with, because you've done it with yourself. But you know how to do it, plus you have the good results of doing it. Okay? So you're much better able to help them. But, healing yourself involves letting go of being concerned to heal yourself. That's all. I think you should heal yourself. I'm just saying that being concerned to heal yourself interferes with healing yourself. Because it's a kind of like, it's a distraction. It's a discursive thought. It's a kind of perspective. I get the perspective on the heal myself. Fine. I want you to.

[36:18]

But if you hold to that perspective, or I hold that perspective, holding to that perspective interferes with the healing process. And the healing process really means that you meet whatever happens while forgetting about healing yourself. And that's how to heal yourself. And that's what I'd like you to do. And then you're better able to teach your clients too, the patients, that if they would let go of being concerned with healing themselves, they would immediately stop healing at that moment. So once you learn how, yes, you want to heal yourself, but when you release that thought, that perspective, that preference, that it will be better for you to heal than not heal, when you let go of that, you immediately heal it, and when you continue to let go of it, you will more and more. Does that make sense? So I said that and I agree, you have to heal yourself before you can fully heal others. But being concerned with healing others is the way to heal yourself. And being concerned with letting go of all your ideas about how to heal yourself and all your ideas about healing others makes you more able to heal.

[37:28]

Or even take away, makes you more able to heal, makes healing more possible. Great. I would clap that that is just Buddhism right there.

[39:32]

We're suffering. Of course we want to be free of our suffering. We're ill. We want to be free of our own. Of course. That's the point. That's the first truth is that it is as you know. It's not that it is, but it appears. Not that it is, but it appears. We want to get rid of it, but trying to get rid of it trying to get rid of it, craving to get rid of it, thirsting to get rid of it is the source of it. First truth is that the appearance of, that it's true that illness appears. Second truth is it has a condition for an arising. It arises because of wishing, for example, wishing that the pain would go away. But if you just look, at the illness and give up trying to get rid of it, then you see what it is and how it happens and it goes away.

[40:50]

No, not sometimes. Not sometimes. It just goes away. It's not a matter of sometimes. It just goes away. You may not know the fifth, but it goes away. As soon as you see what it is, it's not fair enough. Because its nature is at a depending core horizon, it's not a thing by itself. You may not see it, but it actually goes away as soon as you see it. But anyway, you may not tell the story that Bruce told, if you didn't think there, It's not talking about time, sometimes. It's always the case that when you see the origins of the thing, you don't see the thing anymore. But when you see the origins, when you see the dependent core rising, you don't see the independent thing. You see the interdependence. You don't see the independent thing.

[41:52]

So for you and your vision, it's gone. At that time, you see the origin. So anyway, that's how to heal yourself when you stop trying to heal yourself. That's the practice of repentance in the healing. So yeah, that makes our retreat worthwhile. Thank you for listening to the teaching and trying, for letting it happen. Yes. He experiences difficulty breathing. Well, first of all, he experiences breathing. His difficulty breathing is, you know, first find the breath. And then he found that there was difficulty or pain.

[42:53]

But first you find the phenomenon. Then you find the first truth. The first truth is there with everything on you. You may not notice it, but it's there with everything. I didn't mention it. So, breath, inhales and exhales, taste of food, any dharma, when you settle with it, the appearance of suffering comes forth. The first thing he noticed, an actual phenomenon is breathing, and then he noticed that his consciousness. That's the way I would See the other part.

[43:59]

Yep. You're rising, you see it's in the breathing, and as you tune into that, you see that the breathing has the characteristics of some suffering from his illness. In Bruce's case, he wasn't described, but that was perfect. But he didn't sort of say, you know, it's already there. He found it. He said, well, I know before he even checked, I'm going to find breath he's got problems with. But he said he had to find the experience of the breath. The experience of breath first The suffering is actually like a characteristic of breathing, not the breathing of self. But everything, when you find it, you settle with it, the surface is characteristic. All phenomenal things have a characteristic of suffering. And they also have a characteristic of self. That's why they can disappear.

[45:00]

And what disappears is if the primitive breath goes away, doctor, or the pain goes away, it's the potential quality itself part of it goes away, because it's already there. And if you don't tune into quality of the illness, you can't be, if you don't tune into a phenomenon, and then find the quality of suffering in the phenomenon, and then you can't see the no-self quality. If you don't see the no-self quality, then you keep making the solid thing that's, you know, blocking your life. But seeing the suffering quality of the phenomenon is right next to seeing the emptiness or the no-self of the phenomenon. Yeah. I know what he meant, too. But maybe I don't know. It's amazing.

[46:02]

Yeah, it's amazing. It's [...] good. That could happen. It can happen. That's the proposal of Buddha. Stuff like this can happen. And it can happen over and over. Until pretty much it's like the Buddha's seed takes over. So you're thoroughly trained in this world. And you have a lot of confidence in the meditation and a lot of enthusiasm for it. And it starts to be shared more and more. The more you practice it, the more you convince it, the more you, again, trust it enough to practice it. And then practice it. You have faith that it's a good practice. If you practice it, you need a confirmation of your faith. You can use confirmation to help. It doesn't seem to help people so much that don't do it.

[47:03]

But it helps them a little bit. It seems to be near it. Some people are helping. They find it in practice. Like they live in New York City and they have members of them and they just think about people intentionally meditating to help. They don't try it themselves. Still, it could be somewhat helpful even if you don't do it. But sometimes when you do it, If you do it properly, you get confirmation of what the victory is up to yourself. Well, I'll just try it. So for me, that's what I've got to practice in Buddhism. Well, I'll just try it for a lifetime. Give it a chance. And at the end, if it was a mistake, I think it would be a good bet. But so far, the returns are coming in. That's pretty good. I'm basically more and more afraid every day. And it's not just by how it's working for me. I see it working. Yes, yes. I don't remember that. I was kidding. Yeah, that was a good move that she made.

[48:25]

Can I say something? Usually when you feel anxious, anxiety, the root of the word anxiety, you feel crangled, like choked. So usually when you're choked, the first thing you think of doing is what? Inhale. But what you should do is exhale. Usually. When you feel scared, exhale, you need to be more focused. But you think people are scared, but inhale. And if you inhale, you can't get any more breath. But exhale, it keeps it more. And what you did with your body there was you kind of inhaled in response to the anxiety. Great.

[49:40]

Yeah, so when we're trying to focus on our breathing, or pay attention to our breathing, we try to do that without tightening the breath, without tightening mentally or physically on the breath. So stay close without grasping, stay close without getting tight. But again, when you focus on something, we sometimes think focus means like, you know, but it means focus like in a flexible, gentle way. Otherwise, it's You can't bend it normally. But we have to learn how. How do you take closer attention and attention without tightening? It's kind of hard. It's like under some exercises where I try to hold my leg out like this, but relax my toes. It's easier to hold it out and tighten the feet too. Hold the whole thing. But to hold this out, tense these muscles and relax the toes. It's kind of tiring. But, you know, it isn't actually unfolding my leg up.

[50:43]

They don't have to do it. I forgot about the sky hood today. So, in the same way, you can pay attention with your breath, and you don't have to pinch your butt when you pay attention to your breath. You don't have to pant your neck when you pay attention to that. But sometimes when you do it, you've got to go, okay. Some Zen students, you see the whole body being used to pay attention to that. And then you get pooped. Unnecessary act. Nothing you need to care for. And actually, I'm reading in this book, Imala Kirpi. And when Jushu asks Imala Kirpi, Noble sir, how should a sick bodhisattva control their mind? Control him. And I underline control because I don't want to live back to you. You know? And if I read this, I would change it. I would say, Mingyushri, noble sir, how should a Bodhisattva be careful?

[51:45]

because control, for Americans, maybe in India meant something different. Maybe it's the India didn't know, oh, the way you control a water buffalo is easy, while you walk six feet away and whistle some kind of thing between. But when we hear control, we hear, you know, we hear, you know, Northern Europe feeling pressure, rather than like, Hey, I don't want you to do that. This isn't going to control you, but I just want to tell you I don't like it. Come back. Or, hey, you know, I've got a better idea rather than, like, it's heavy control. So you've got to watch out for the word control. There's been a lot of meditations that were control the breathing, control the posture, control the mind. That may be actually the best translation in terms of honoring the original, but I think you must think In America, since we live in Rome, we've got to be careful of the good people.

[52:53]

It means something, a very dangerous word in our culture. So care for it, and generally speaking, is a good replacement or control. Right, yes. Right, no gaining ideas is a really good strategy. So, you do gain something in Buddhism, in a sense, but your kind, but Bruce didn't have a gaining idea. And Patricia sort of gave up her get an idea that you usually have. So it's our strategy, but they're maybe more spiritual strategies because the thing that's causing the suffering is this craving, this trying to get something.

[54:03]

So a strategy tries to relieve us of the condition for the suffering, to try to let go of that game. It's a kind of strategy, but you really forget it when you're doing it. You're not thinking, oh, there's no game you can do it. You just let go of the game and the idea that she's coming up. So it is a kind of strategy, it is a kind of practice, it is a technique, but it kind of makes the slightest possible, just the least amount of instruction that you can possibly use in the Eastern Monarch, St. and Egyptian, and you can possibly have, which is probably a bit closer, if you're able to address it too. Which one, Bobby? I mean, Aunt Amy. What I meant to say, what I thought I said was, when you see the origin, you release.

[55:20]

That vision always relieves you. But you don't always see the origin. When you look at your suffering, you don't always see the origin. If only you see the suffering, but not the origin, then you still grasp the suffering. But when you see the origin, you can't grasp the suffering anymore. You release. So, by definition, when you have vision, when you have wisdom, there's release. Always. Right, the Buddha, Gatanguni Buddha, he had physical problems at the end of his life, but he was still the Buddha. And from this person who had physical problems, his great teaching is still bubbling up and laughing out. He was still the happy Buddha. He just was miserably suffering from the physical thing. So these sages can both have physical problems and be totally free mentally. And because they're free mentally, Their body, if they could still talk, could produce these great, magnificent words and how to help people, which they're very happy about, and everybody else is happy about, but the person is sick.

[56:30]

So like I said, my teacher, when he was sick, he was really ethical. He was speaking to me. The way he was sick was a great teaching to me. He was not sick in a discouraging way. He was sick. It's very encouraging what he had helped me. who was sick, he was talking to me. And also, at his story, I'd like to say that when C. Vicaragua got cancer, it was like, it was 29 years ago. At that time, people thought, well, how can those venenaires get cancer? They shouldn't get cancer. So then, after C. Vicaragua got cancer, people hadn't got yet used to the idea that, well, maybe venenaires did it. And then the Karmapa got cancer. And now people are feeling like, well, I guess some of the world's religious leaders can get homesick. That's the way they can go. In other words, they don't like diet. They don't have design or disease. They have like run-of-the-mill, you know,

[57:31]

The diseases of the people. The bodhisattvas get the diseases of the people. But sometimes the people are designer people, so sometimes bodhisattvas get designer diseases. That's the hardest life, man. But anyway, the karmapta, to Zipi Rati, had the disease. But I heard the people who were with the karmapta, when they went in to see the karmapta, When he was dying of cancer, they just felt so encouraged by the love that was exuding, that was emanating from him towards them. They were in good health, including the sick teachers, but the love coming from him, the kindness was unimpeded by his physical condition, which is what's possible. Would it be too simple to say? Well, first of all, already that's not so simple to say.

[58:46]

That was not too simple to say. That was fairly complicated. But that wasn't too simple to say. However, although it wasn't simple to say, I disagree. So, when you see the roots of your illness, it's not that there's no descriptive thought. You can have full-scale descriptive thought and not grasp but they're still going on. You can be in a room full of people chattering discursive sentences all over the place, and right in the middle of that room, you can not grab any of it. Like, oh, you know, Reb did this, and then he did that, but you just sort of sit there and you don't grab it. Or the scripture starts to be going on in your own head, and nobody else hears it with me. But anyway, inwardly and outwardly, descriptive thoughts could be raging away, and you're sitting in the middle of it, not grasping any of it, and you're like, as we say, cool as a teacher, but not calming down, not grasping your breath, calming down.

[59:54]

Your mind becomes flexible, forming, clear, and vivid. And then, with all this descriptive thought going on around you, not grasping you, suddenly your breath occurs. how your body is. And you notice, you know. And again, the spiritual thoughts are raging. And some of the spiritual thoughts are about the illness. You don't grasp it. You keep looking into them. And then in that place, you see the nature of the illness, the origin of the illness, the depending core rising of the illness. And at that time, you are free of this illness. However, the spiritual thought is still going on. It is not involved in it. Because the spiritual thought is not the way you're going to penetrate. to the nature of this illness. Once the vision penetrates, you're liberated because you realize that this is a defending core writer. It's not a college. So your mind, your spirit is released. Even while the illness is still sitting there, radiates the postage in a full period.

[61:04]

Now sometimes what happens is that also the illness goes away right after that too. That's something that happens. but they just pop, go away. But sometimes, just like Duffy Winnie, it's going to give them go away, but the Yen's not. Because for Yen, everything goes away. So he gets a big relief. After he gets a big relief, he feels very happy and free, and then he says, I want to go back and play in the land of no relief. So we have the Heart Seeker, right? Where's the Heart Seeker? He's Panic Zen Longfield. No eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind, no color, no sound, no smell, no taste, no suffering, no origins of suffering, no cessation of suffering, no path, no Four Noble Truths, then no Eightfold Path, no Twelve Links and Intimation. There comes a time when you don't, all the stuff is just not there, as do you think we can think of it.

[62:06]

It's called fitness place. Fitness called There's no much suffering. The suffering ceases. But the suffering isn't annihilated. So all I gotta do is just look back at the world of things, and there's the suffering. But the scourge of thought can be going on, but the scourge of thought can also stop. It doesn't have to. But we have to let go of it in order to calm down. Once you've calm down, then you can go look at the scourge of thought again, If you're looking at it from having let go of the script of thought, you're just examining the script of thought rather than grasping it. And if you examine the script of thought, you become free of the script of thought. Before you examined it and saw its emptiness, saw its timing core arises, you really thought it was out there and you thought you could grasp. But you train yourself by releasing and not grasping. And then when you stop grasping, then the thing you weren't grasping,

[63:09]

you can look at and find out what it is. And when you find out what it is, you won't be able to do it. You won't have to restrain yourself or release the drafting because you don't know how to draft it. If I reach somebody's first thinking, I get cold. And if I reach the cold, I don't mind it. I can't get anything by itself and everything I get is everything. It's called beauty. From the world of separate stuff, from the broken world of unhappiness. Does that look? I thought that was interesting. Okay, let's see if you can have the simple one. The mind has the ability to know things, just to know things.

[64:21]

If you train your attention onto that ability of the mind that just knows things with no elaboration, the whole mental field calms down, becomes stabilized, becomes flexible and clear and buoyant and bright and happy. Then that state of mind came to be used as a basis for then looking at what you want elaborated. The mind can also look. It can look and know and look at the attention. So then the attention doesn't exactly shift. It's still looking at the same thing, like the breath, for example, So you're looking at the breath, or you're looking at an illness, and you're just looking at it with no elaboration, with no grasping of perceptual thought or restricted thought about the illness, but about it will progress. See? Now you can't, looking at this object. And in that calm, then, a slight shift is to see the nature of that.

[65:21]

Before you want to see the nature of that, you see it just focusing on it in this way of purely experiencing or not adding something to trap and anything. It's pure care. Okay? And then you start to look and see what it's going to take care of. And you see that you have the breath. And there's no more breath. Because it's cool. It's a little bit tiny, rather than thin. Or, you see, you can do the pain in life. So you're liberated from the breath, from the illness, from the body, from the past, from whatever you're looking for. You can also then bring in everything you let go of, everything you start grasping, you can bring all this up and study, one thing after another, and tell you are liberated from everything, all possible problems. But you sometimes start, oftentimes, The first thing in Buddhist tradition, the first thing that we usually look at and we see a liberation, the first topic that we break through on is pain.

[66:27]

So sometimes we take breath, you know, and settle down with the breath. The key topic to look at in the calm state and penetrate the nature of is suffering. Because we're not so, you know, afflicted by our breath, or afflicted by our suffering. With suffering, you need to understand the nature. The nature is suffering that doesn't in itself. It's empty. It's a chemical reaction. So, you're saying, what's thesis? Well, it's the meditation practice that thesis. The practice thesis. You don't see it. You give yourself the practice. So the practice, first of all, is stabilizing. then the stabilizing becomes, remains of your division. When your vision is stabilizing, you have this insight. And that insight then fits all different. It spreads to the body. So the whole body feels relieved without whom they're thinning.

[67:29]

But then some things, when the whole body feels relieved, like certain others are shifting in the body, and people in the outside can actually see the body look different. They sometimes, the color comes back in the face, the face you're at, they think that, well, certain diseases go away, you know, from the view of other people. But sometimes the certain conditions might not change that much, But as you can see, they won't publish all the pensions out of their bodies. And they're totally transformed into the diagnosis of this thing. If you have an accessory, I'm going to call it Peralyn This is what?

[68:34]

Another accessory? It'll rape! Stand up and dance, sister! Yeah, right.

[69:50]

I want to go to the doctor there. Doctor for you to call me. Do you have high blood pressure? Do you think? No, I'd just say if you're looking to experience the actual sensation of your breathing, get an actual sense, take access to your breathing, it's sometimes easier to find the inside. But after you tune into your breathing, kind of conceal it as you kind of

[72:04]

moment-by-moment sensations, tactile mostly. We suggest tactile, first of all. It can also be auditory, but we suggest don't read loud, so you shouldn't really be listening to your breath. Most of the feeling is physical in your abdomen, heart area, chest, and nose. To get a feeling for a few outcomes, it's easier to find. But once you get kind of fluent and a good feeling for it, then it's often good to use the exhale as part of the breath to emphasize that you can let go of the stress. The exhale sort of goes better when you release it and relax. But that's not part of the tongue that I've found it yet. So tune in with the inhale, and then see if you stay with the inhale on the exhale. And then, when you start to kill things, okay, now I know it's a wreck.

[73:06]

Now I'm gonna try to, like, let go of everything. It's putting it away from you. You know, it's starting to touch here. Especially if you're stuck in place. You can crack that stuck in. Okay. And then, next is your teacher. See, got it? ...and then... [...] ...but actually... ...I'd like to... ...excuse myself for a moment... ...to ever be... ...for a minute, please. Hey, Chitra, did you have a question?

[74:06]

Suffering, yes. The way we use the word suffering? She was asking questions about the word suffering and distinguishing between suffering as a verb and whatever kind of stuff, as a noun.

[75:56]

So, one response I had is just that, with anything that you think exists on its own, then as soon as you think it exists on its own, it's almost impossible to stop the mind from grasping at it. Once there's grasping, then things are thrown out of filter, and there's unholdiness arises, unhealthiness arises, and they put Healthiness in some ways is a better word, because suffering, also the word of the word suffering is to bear, or to go through. So you can suffer a sunset, but not really suffering, if you experience it. So suffering is maybe not as good a word as unhealthiness or unwholeness.

[77:09]

Unwholeness means in some sense that something's happening, and you see it as cut off and everything, and your vision is already an unwhole vision. And then you grasp at something which is part of the story. So you kind of, your activity is now kind of like acting out this misconception. So then the activity sort of reiterates this sense of unwholeness, unwholeness. And then to go through that, or to bear that situation and suffer. But even, in some sense, even going through, you could, although it's somewhat unusual, even going through liberation, you could suffer liberation. You know, suffer my words, suffer my speech. or then it's separation.

[78:32]

Thinking that it's separate, thinking that it's just iron pollen, and therefore it can't be grasped, so then the grasping breaks the wholeness of the mind and body. But it only ceases at that moment. There are other moments. It's just that moment. And it doesn't mean that it's annihilated. It just means that it can't arrive because of conditions like this. But the sunrise, as soon as the sunrise happens, it ceases. It doesn't mean that the sunrise has been annihilated because the impulse might be one tomorrow morning. Actually, this sunrise has ceased, but there's another one for people over there that can't happen anymore. The sunrise hasn't been annihilated, but this sunrise is ceased because the conditions for the sunrise is that we're at a certain angle on the Earth, and most conditions have changed. So now there's no sunrise, but it isn't annihilated.

[79:33]

So suffering also ceases when you see its origin. Therefore, the film is ceases when you see its origin. But it's not annihilated. Also, before you see its origin, you might think that it lasts. But after it ceases, you also see it doesn't last. But also, when it arises, you see it's not annihilated. This is training in the world. When you arrive Friday, what? You're using an inhaler. When the conditions are there, they will come back.

[81:46]

They will arise.

[81:48]

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