An expression just popped into my head. The characteristic of the stool. So I, the characteristic of the Zen stool. What is the characteristic of the Zen stool? I'm thinking about what kind of the overall the characteristic of the school, which is proportion to city. Totally engaging in the mobile city. Can I speak in Louvina? Yes. Just about.

[01:02]

How about over there? Thanks. So the characteristic of the school, of Sotoklan anyway, school of building, then it was total devotion to the mobile civic. Devotion to it. But this is not necessarily the characteristic of all school And there are some things about the dental school which the Zanning School shared with the other schools. I'd like to, of course, today talk about, if I can, this devotion to sitting. But before that, I'd like to hear a few words from our sponsor. And there's something which are characteristic of all the school.

[02:09]

Now, one of these things is all the school pay homage to Buddha, pay homage to enlightenment. And homage means not only that it has the meaning of praise, but it also means to align yourself. So if I pay homage to you, not only do I respect you and praise you, honor you, but I also say I'm kind of in your group, too. I'm in the same line with you. So all Buddhists stay on it, align themselves with enlightenment and take refuge in enlightenment. Return to, again and again, return to awakening and use awakening as our shelter, as our protection from the pain of life, the difficulties of daily life.

[03:27]

The only problem I had is that I think in a couple of days it was the 25th or 26th anniversary of the assassination of John Kennedy. And my daughter told me that just through riding in a car in Dallas and whites said, John, there's no question that Dallas will love you. And then just before, just after that, he got the bullet shot in the back of the head. So this is a story like this. No question that Dallas loves you, and your brain could long help. So we need help living in a world like this. I think we all need help. And the Buddhists are the ones who look to look to awakening at the first help, try to help us with this.

[04:43]

So this is something which we all call the Buddhist sharing, and the Zen school has this special characteristic. And I've also been emphasizing lately that before you're able to actually align yourself with awakening, before you're able to pay homage and align yourself and take refuge in the teaching of awakening and in the community of practitioners of awakening. Before that, you need to purify yourself. Of course, you're already pure, but you also have, all of us have committed innumerable wholesome and unwholesome activities. which we need to own up to before we can embrace our way in nature. We don't need to beat ourselves up.

[05:49]

All we gotta do is admit what we've done. Just purification, or we call it confession or repentance. before we before we return to buddha before we go meet buddha we have to recognize that though we package it and by recognizing these packages if we thoroughly completely recognize all this stuff we're carrying it is the practice of repentance that it drops away and kind of like we say Before our awakened nature, we say, I've done all this stuff. I really have done all this stuff. I admit it. And our awakened nature says, OK, come on. And if you can't understand that, that's OK, because it's from the human point of view that you can't understand that.

[06:51]

Buddha understand it very nicely and has said that this is so. But as soon as you admit what you've done, you are immediately forgiven and purified, and you can embrace your true nature. This purification is not sponsored by your ordinary thinking. It is sponsored by Buddha nature. Buddha nature makes this wonderful purification possible. So all schools of Buddhism share purification And one more step is to actually hope for, aspire to, hanker after, long for the realization of the awakening of one's self, at least. The Mahayana school for this wonderful thing for yourself and for everyone.

[07:55]

This is kind of background characteristic of this school. And I've also mentioned One of the skillful devices of Zen is that they don't tell people about the background sometimes. They get offered this wonderful characteristic practice of sitting, and when people start sitting, they find out that there's just other stuff. But most of us probably might not have been able to get into sitting if we'd heard about confession and repentance and things like that, because we have so many associations with that material. But after we start sitting too, some actually give the beginning instruction. Sometimes the lecture right after the beginning instruction, if it's given by me or some other person that's not necessarily in control, a person says right after the beginning instruction, you can't do that then, that you need the help of all living beings in order to actually do it properly.

[09:06]

That's why we take refuge in Buddha, because Buddha is the mind of all living beings. With this help, we can actually realize this total engagement in mobile city. This is devotion and self-surrender. Again, we don't say that right away. Another way to put this is after purifying yourself through owning up to your activity, After taking refuge in your enlightened nature, after taking refuge in the teaching that supports you to develop your enlightened nature and the community of people that help you do that, after producing this wonderful thought of enlightenment, then you can practice total devotion to the mobile civic. Or you can practice another word for it, is you can practice yoga.

[10:10]

What we call it in yoga, we call it Zazen. The most basic form of yoga we call Zazen. And the most basic form of yoga is to just be yourself. And I say just be yourself, but I also mean to completely be yourself. Not to see yourself over in this area, but be yourself throughout your whole life. We can all do this because we all are ourselves. It's just a question of kind of fully filling out what we are. And this is not easy. It is simple.

[11:15]

It's a simple description, but it's not easy because there's certain parts of ourselves that we, for various reasons, have been shying away for a while. Certain people and certain things have happened to us that have let us think that certain parts of ourselves we'd better not to deal with. And so we become rather unfamiliar with them, and therefore we don't go over there. and therefore we're not fully observing our personality. Our full self is not being lived. You know what I'm talking about? This person who said the characteristic of a school is devotion to the city, He also said, to study the way of awakening is to study yourself.

[12:24]

In Japanese, the word he uses there for study, the root is narau. Narai-masu, narate kudasai, and so on. But Narao, the Chinese character for Narao, on the top part of the character, it has some wings. So it means to study, but it means to study like baby birds study, like they study fly. It means to learn or to study also like flying or swimming or tea ceremony or walking or talking. It means to learn or study. But also, baby birds and me too, one of the ways we learn is by imitation. And for really complex things, we really have to learn by imitation. So in Buddhism, the main way of learning is by imitating the adult birds.

[13:31]

Hopefully, there are some around. So another way to say, another way to translate is to say, to model yourself. Or even to imitate the Buddha way is to imitate yourself. Or to model yourself on the Buddha way is to model yourself on yourself. And to model yourself on yourself is to predict yourself. Yoga is to model yourself on yourself. Model your thigh and your thigh. Model your heart on your heart. Model your eyes on your eyes. In other words, what do you got? Model your lungs on your lung. And if you got a collapsed lung, then model your lung on a collapsed lung. If you got a deformed spine, model your spine on a deformed spine.

[14:38]

Model yourself on yourself as you are. You've got some weird personality characteristics. It doesn't mean you should be weird. It means you already are weird. Why you should admit it? Don't model yourself on somebody else or on somebody that you think you're supposed to be. Model yourself on yourself as you are. This is not to say this is all that good the way you are. Because the point is not just to model yourself for yourself and flush yourself and be yourself, like hold onto it, but by modeling yourself on yourself, by doing the yoga of being yourself, the next thing that happens is you predict yourself. You predict yourself when you really thoroughly, courageously model yourself on who you are. And one of the reasons why we take refuge in the Sangha is some people are modeling themselves only on a little section of themselves.

[15:42]

And their fellow practitioners say, why don't you notice this part of yourself and model yourself on that part too? Even though they don't necessarily like that part of the person, they want the person to recognize the person's feeling to that part of themselves. In other words, they're over there doing this stuff over here. Why don't you get over there and notice you're doing this stuff? Take credit for it. Hold up to it. We're not saying you should do it. We're just saying, be honest. Oh, no, I'd rather not. But please, come on over there. Now, of course, if people say this to you without your permission, you say, get out of my face. Go away. Who asked you? Who are you to tell me? Look at your, you got those things. You go look over there at yourself. Get drunk, man. You've got mud all over your face. You can't tell me about mud on my face. So it's very tricky, this business of helping each other, because actually people have to ask.

[16:46]

They have to say, please tell me what I'm overlooking. Is there some part of myself I'm not flipping? And then even then, the person they ask, do they trust enough to ask, the person has to sort of not tell. Yeah, it's right over there. And the person has said, well, would you think there's some part that you're not aware of? Why didn't you ask? Does he have some information or something he might not be? And the person said, well, yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. But you really kind of know. As soon as we ask, we start to find out. This is called , this is called yoga. Totally embrace and sustain yourself. This is your job, this is doing your part. Nobody else can do this for you.

[17:46]

And as a matter of fact, you can't even do it yourself, you need a lot of help, you need a lot of support, you need to actually take refuge in Buddha. to do this really good job of being yourself. And Buddha would help you. Buddha would say, why don't you go ask somebody else to help you? Give somebody a chance to help you. The Buddha is, or awakening, is being greatly awake in the midst of your personality, in the midst of your psychological thoughts, or we might say in the midst of confusion. The Buddha is being greatly awakened in the midst of confusion.

[18:48]

Now, there are some other possibilities. For example, you can be a little bit away from the confusion. That's awesome. But that isn't what we mean by Buddha. But it's a step in the direction. I think I could tell some stories about some people, some children, some adults, who have had some insights in the middle of their confusion. And these are the insights which I'm personally very interested in for myself. Insights that happen in confusion. Insights that happen in the middle of clarity, they're nice, but I'm not particularly interested. So some people are actually quite awakened and quite enlightened in the midst of clarity, which is nice. Maybe some scientists, mathematicians, and so on. And some other people are awakened in the midst of confusion.

[20:02]

But a Buddha, one who's awakened in the midst, greatly awakened, really understands confusion. In other words, really understands herself. Because self is basically the core element of confusion. As soon as the self is born, self-confusion is born. Self-philosophy, self-positioning form, self-loving form, and self-pride form. That's basically it. That's basically yoga. The yoga of being yourself. It's what we call total engagement in a mobile setting.

[21:08]

How old are you? I'm 39. So that's the basic set design for Zen practice and for Buddhism. And I could go a little bit more, turning a little bit more towards like, what do you think? The next part is a little bit more complicated. So imagine that you're not trying to study the Buddha way. Model yourself on the Buddha way by modeling yourself on yourself.

[22:52]

So how do you do that? I'll talk a little bit, but another way to talk about this I don't see any way. One way is to talk about it in terms of the, well, psychological processing. That's one way. Another way to talk about it is in terms of precepts, precept practice, or ethical conduct. Another way to talk about it is in terms of time. But in many ways, once you sort of are getting in there, kind of tune into the light, the various ways, very soon, the various angles come up. So in which point that be? Time.

[23:55]

Time? OK, time. Time is . Uh, there was this, there was this expert, he was a, he was a police, uh, scholar. Name was, um, the, [...] the He was a scholar, and he specialized in a perfect wisdom text called the Diamond Sutra, the Diamond Scripture. He was an expert on it. The short scriptures tell me about, I would call it then, 32 short sections.

[24:58]

Is that right? But he had all these commentaries, too, on it. So he could walk around with little scripture in a backpack full of commentaries. And he could go around. various places and give lectures on the Dynastitra, explaining the Dynastitra. One day he was trekking through the mountains and he came upon a little, they used to have these little tea shops around China where you could stop and refresh yourself with a little tea and a little dim sum. Dim sum means dot heart, dot the heart. That this part, you know, that dot, dot your heart. It's the name of this handle of cakes. And it's also, it also can be, the word dot heart can also be, make your verb so you can dot heart of dot heart. You know, you can take a dot heart and put it in your mouth and dot get heart of it.

[26:00]

Okay? That make sense? So he's walking along, and he comes along to one of these dot heart shops run by a little old lady. He says, I'd like a dot heart or a dot heart. And she says, what's that in your backpack? He said, well, it's 200 commentaries on the dinosaur trip that I'm next door in the dinosaur trip. She says, oh, you are, huh? Well, if you wanted a dot heart trip, I've got a question for you. If you can answer it, I'll give you a dot heart. You can't? I'm not going to give you one. He said, okay, ask your question, ma'am. And she says, well, in that dynastica that you're expert on, it says that the past mind cannot be gotten hold of. Present mind cannot be gotten over. Future mind cannot be gotten over.

[27:05]

So what mind are you going to use to beat the dot, to dot heart, to dot heart? What mind are you going to use to beat this code? And the scholar said, he said, see you later. By the way, if you want to study further, there's a Zen teacher nearby that might be able to help you. His name is... What's his name? I guess his name was... No, it's a different story. The sixth day, I woke up hearing the diamonds. And then the guy who was chanting it said, boy, that's a pretty good what you're chanting, man.

[28:11]

I woke up. And the guy said, you want to hear more about this? There's a guy in . This is the South China, Canton, right? Walking along the Canton. He heard the diamonds. He heard a different section of the diamonds. Body softwares should produce a mind which abide nowhere, which had no abode. And he woke up that time. It was actually Tennessee. And then he hung up to the guy who was chanting it, who was kind of a soothsayer. He said, why don't you just stop it? It is more that the guy up in North China, he could go learn more about this. He's dead right there. He specialized in this stuff. This is later in the story. By this time, all over the countryside, little old lady news. And we're putting these lungs to the test. Wouldn't that be a beautiful world?

[29:13]

People wandering around, getting tested by little old ladies at various times. Well, where they are, it's a golden age event, right? So he went and studied with a guy, and that's a different story. But anyway, I ask you now, your past mind, your present mind, your future mind cannot be gotten at. With what mind are you going to live your life? Get a cookie. Can I have some? Yes. No, boy. No, boy. This mine? While they eat, we'll eat back. Yeah, give me a cookie. Sorry.

[30:30]

In other words, in the midst of time, and the midst of psychological process, too, you should be aware of your psychological processes, but all this True non-apprehension. Another word, don't approach. Live without approaching past, present, and future. Not that they're not there, but you can't grasp it. Live in the world where you're not grasping. Live in the midst of your own confusion, but don't approach it. Don't deny it, but don't approach it. Don't approach it. physical experience. Don't approach feelings.

[31:32]

Don't approach concepts. Don't approach emotion. Don't approach concepts. If you approach, all these things become a source of energy. If you approach time, ask present or future. Even if you approach the present, you're going to be hurt. You're going to have to be present. Have you heard about that? To be present. Well, that's true, but you don't get a hold of the present. If you approach the present, even though it's supposed to be really good stuff, it would be a source of misery. If you approach the past, if you approach the future, they are sources of pain. But if you don't approach, if you don't approach past mind, present mind, or future mind, if you cannot approach them, You are sitting in the middle and awake.

[32:34]

But how do you do that? Not so easy. We're very well skilled at approaching the past. Repentance is a way to stop approaching the past. Confession is a spiritual exercise to stop approaching, to stop apprehending the past. Staying in the present is a technique for not approaching the future. And how do you not approach the present? One technique is called how. To live howling without apprehending the future, not apprehending the past. That is an example. That is a way to talk. If you can do that, you could probably answer this lady's question. But it's not easy to live there. I should say it's not difficult to live there, but also it's freedom from pain.

[33:42]

Then in the past, the present, and the future, if you don't apprehend them, they become circles of happiness. Then there's your dancing partner. But when you advance it, then you all have to be vigilant not to attach to your dying partner. Same with psychological processes. If you approach them, they are the source of misery. If you don't approach, if you recognize them without approaching, if you're aware of your feelings without approaching, they become sources of bliss. The whole trick is Non-apprehension. And again, I hope, not hope actually, I imagine that you come and say, how? And again, that's my question. Don't apprehend anything.

[34:44]

Just live with how. But not how in the air, how in the middle of all your psychological life. You got real stuff happening with you. And this process, with the aid of taking refuge because you need help, this process will gradually fill your life up. By living in this way, the past and the future and the present will come forward and live their full size. Your psychological life will fill itself out. You can gradually stop fighting from yourself if you can live without apprehending. What we usually do is we apprehend something, and this little part of ourselves takes us away and we miss all this. If you can live through non-apprehension, gradually the parts of your life, the part of yourself that you usually think you're not supposed to know about, they gradually start crawling over to you and saying, are you really letting us in now?

[35:46]

I see you're not going someplace else. Can we come in? Yes, I'm actually just sitting here not apprehending you, which means I'm also not pushing you away. I'm not apprehending them, and I'm not pushing you away. I'm actually just sitting here quite vulnerable to myself. I'm sitting here steadily. I'm totally devoted just to sitting here modeling myself on myself, and now more of myself is coming to be modeled. And I'm kind of getting to be more myself until when you finally become totally yourself and forget the whole thing. The body and mind of themselves drop away. You don't drop them away. They drop away. As soon as you completely model yourself as yourself, first step is try.

[36:48]

Second step is you start coming, stuff that you don't usually want to call yourself. At that time, if you don't flinch, if you patiently finally sit there, you realize that this stuff is coming, it's actually you. And you start to grow, painfully grow, until you reach full size. And at full size, Dogen Vengy said, you forget the self. And when you forget the self, then all this stuff that happens, which you don't approach, which you don't have their hand. All this stuff awakens you. Everything that happens awakens you. And the body drops away. And the body of others drop away. Anyone? This is yoga. This is Zen yoga I'm talking about.

[37:51]

And if we don't do it on our own, as I said, we get the courage and the resources for this by confession and repentance and taking refuge and creating this wonderful thought of enlightenment, which we can do because we have a great sponsor that lets us do this, that helps us do this. Our Buddha nature, our Buddha nature, it makes this all possible. But we have to do our part. Buddha nature doesn't just come in and sit down in our light and start flowering. We have to make an effort, too, because we do make effort. We are effortful beings. If we don't make an effort in this way, we'll make an effort in another way. It's just waiting there for us to call. As soon as we call, answer. So we have to call.

[38:56]

And yet we're a little bit reserved in our calling. We say, hi. And you say, hi. Imagine the call, a wholehearted call, the call that you do with your whole body and mind, where no part of your body and mind is holding back. You really call up there and you say, hello. You get back a big hello. And to the extent that you don't hold back, it won't hold back. And to the extent that you hold back, it holds back. It never gets ahead of you. It's always meeting you toe-to-toe. However, although it just meets you, it's a lot greater and more wonderful than you've ever met and will really help to do your practice. And so then once you have that support, you could do Zazen.

[40:01]

Or Zazen can be done. At you, on you, on your place, in your life, it can happen. Three minutes. Three minutes before 11? OK. Giving a lecture is a little bit like painting a picture. And I never know when I'm done. And if I don't know and I stop when I don't know, then I never know.

[41:05]

But if I keep going on and on, I know that I'm about to fuck. So in a world like this, I need help. .

[41:28]

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