assembly that there's a true person with no rank always going out and in through the portals of your face beginners who have not yet witnessed it look look a monk then a monk came forward and said what is the true man of no rank friends i got down from the seat grabbed and held him. The monk hesitated. Linji pushed him away and said, this true person of no rank, what a piece of dried crap he is. So, how about this person of no rank? Going in and out of the portals of your face, have you been looking for that?

[01:04]

Been marching for that? Are the five clusters the senses or the skandhas? They're the skandhas, usually. Usually for senses, they call them the doors, the thieves, the poisons. or the roots, the clusters, the skandhas. I was thinking what an ultimate compliment it is to a piece of dry crap. It doesn't even stink. No outflows. Is that what you thought he meant? I just saw it before I was reading it. Well, do you think he was talking about this true person of no rank, or do you think he was talking about the monk? I think he's talking about the person of no rank.

[02:12]

Yeah, then what Marta says would make sense. Also, just the call of a person with no answer, it gives me the rank to say he's a kind of beast of credit. You thought that... It was bullshit to say that he was a piece of dried... It was bullshit to say that he's a true man of your rank. Oh, I see. That that's actually given you a rank. So, do you feel it's appropriate then to point out that he's a dried crap? Or do you think that's too much, too? No. I don't know. Well, you could go on, you know. Yeah. You could stop there with the dried crap and say it's just so you're trying to balance it out. Mm-hmm. So how is it to look to watch out for this true person going in and out of your face?

[03:22]

It's like trying to look at your eyelashes. For you it's like trying to look at your eyelashes? Was it the last class when we had that assignment and we could look, look, look as we got to the class and try to find out how far we could go? What happened to me was when I got up to my house, I felt like I had been doing the look, look practice all the way there until there was my daughter asking me stuff about this and that. That's when it ended? Yeah. Mm-hmm. What kind of orientation do you have to look?

[04:51]

For me, it feels like this sort of whole body orientation. When the word look comes to my mind, it's like my whole body kind of goes This feeling of just energy coming up to being here. It's that kind of feel. So it's a kind of whole body orientation. Is that like no orientation? Sometimes. Yes. It reminds me of the experience walking up here, much like Linda's, before someone spoke to me. I think Douglas Harding had a book called Having No Head. It was just myriad things. Just myriad things. Mm-hmm. So any questions about an orientation, a whole body orientation?

[06:10]

Does that make sense as a good kind of whole bodied or kind of like no orientation or an orientation of myriad things? Does that make sense, an orientation of myriad things? Any questions about that? It doesn't make much sense to you. You don't understand what the orientation of myriad things would... Are we talking about the true man or...? I'm trying to talk about looking, you know, how to look. And what's been suggested is a whole body to orient. I asked kind of like, how do you look? One suggestion was, oh, you look with your whole body. Another suggestion was, I said maybe that's like having no orientation, to look without an orientation. So right now I'm looking at you, but to try to not look at you would also be an orientation.

[07:11]

But I'm not looking at you as my orientation, but I just happen to be looking at you, so I'm involved in that. But I'm also picking up the stuff all around the room, too. Or another way to say it, what Martha said was, the orientation of myriad things. So like everything in the universe is your orientation. In other words, you look, the way you look, it's like kind of like everything, everything arrives, and that's your eyes. Yes. I would have to open this, like they're seated. Yes. I can feel my eyes open more. Well, it's openness or like receiving, but it's receiving without somebody there being before you receive. It's not like you're there receiving. It's just receiving, and then myriad things are received, and that gives you your eyes.

[08:15]

Is this consciousness we're talking about? We're talking about consciousness, yes. Consciousness is the basic definition of consciousness, you know. It is. basically the total impression of everything that's happening is consciousness. But what we tend to do is we tend to be waiting there, and that's not just consciousness, that's delusion. So usually when we look, we are here looking. We're watching for the true person. But I think... We're talking about a different orientation where we're not looking for the true person. We're not sitting here watching for the true person coming in and out through our face. The looking is the arrival of everything. And that will happen.

[09:17]

Some of the myriad things are having a face, having senses, that's part of the myriad things. when in the ears it's called seeing, not hearing. Yes? How does that relate to this, the going out? There's something going out and in, something always going out and in, really gorgeous. How does that relate to the myriad things? Is it talking about the medium of? Myriad, you know, arrival can be, there can be the arrival of entry, and there can be the arrival of exit. What is it? You know the word outflow, the word for outflows are sometimes called floods or leakage, ashrava. It means flood, basically, but the flooding can come in or flood out. The sense doors are a place where stuff can come in or stuff can go out.

[10:23]

So the in-out consciousness arises at that place where the in-out happens. So another name for the sense organs in relationship to their field, are doors, ayatanas, doors. Doors of arrival, they're called ayatanas, you know. There's the skandhas, the clusters, the ayatanas, which are the doors of arrival. And they're the doors where consciousness arrives. So that they are, you know, eye and color, or ear and sound and so on. There's a twelve of them. There's mind, organ, and mind-objects. So things are going in and out across that threshold. But the true man of no rank, is that where consciousness doesn't arise?

[11:28]

Where there isn't anything arising, particularly? Well, whether you're talking about true man or not, nothing, in one level nothing is arising, nothing is arriving. But in the looking and watching the arrival of things, that's the place where one realizes that nothing is happening. But the sound of a flapping feet? With the sound of the flapping gate? The flapping of the flapping? Yes? I had a... looking in a slightly different way from the mechanical. This step, this step.

[12:30]

But I felt myself looking with my breath. I felt the in and out. kind of buffeted in with my breath, my awareness. I experienced the... I didn't get up to the parking lot. I saw the moon, and I just... the moon just coming up over, and I kind of stopped. I felt a lot of... I tried for a while after that to continue to come back. So, would that be a sense of touch? That would be the portal of bodily touch and bodily tactility.

[13:37]

So if you start tuning into these portals, it's very intense because a very large number of visual impressions coming in in a second. One in Mississippi, there's a lot of visual impressions coming in. And a lot of sounds coming in during that time too. And depending on the person, quite a few smells coming in. And some tastes, especially if you're drinking fitness tea. and physical, you know, senses of pressure or relating to gravity and all that stuff is happening. Lots of those happen in a second too. For me it's easier to calculate the number of visual impressions in a certain time space because I have a sense of how an image is put together.

[14:51]

So I know there's a very large number but I'm not as I'm not as skillful or schooled at how to calculate how many tactile impressions I would be experiencing in a moment. Like, you know, how many tactile impressions does it take for me to get a sense of sitting on this cushion in a second? I can get a few, but not as many as I can visually. But anyway, all those plus all the things I think during that time The stuff is coming in very rapidly. It's a very high intensity, a bombardment of experience that we're living in. Myriad things are really arriving. In a short period of time, we'll get up to a myriad. Yes?

[15:51]

I think the image, when I was looking, I was attempting to look, I guess the metaphor that came up for me real quickly was when you're in a twilight situation, and if you look at something straight on with your eyes, you can't see it. But if you look to the corner of your eyes, you can. The same kind of quality in looking at perception of my senses. If I kind of was using that sense, looking at the sense, I'd lose it. And if I was sort of looking at the sense viscerally, Just sort of, you know, we're sort of looking at the corner of the eye of the sense. I can sort of see, I can view the sense without being the sense. Does that make sense? It seemed like as soon as I tied into the sense, looking at the sense, then it would disappear.

[16:54]

I don't understand what you mean by the sense looking at the sense. Actually, it was more a matter of when I would get to the place of saying, I am looking at the sense, then I would lose the look. Oh, yeah. That makes sense to me, that you would. It doesn't seem to me that that's the kind of looking that Rinzai is recommending we do. That won't help us witness this... What did he say? He said... Yeah. I don't think that will help us witness this true person. Um... Now, I guess what I'm proposing to you is that, well, what I'm kind of doing is, which the way I often talk about these stories, I'm kind of setting the table for dinner, for a feast.

[18:14]

And part of setting the table is to put this concept on the table called this true person. And we're telling you a little bit about how this person behaves. And the other part of setting the table is to discuss which, you know, that this is a formal meal. Because we're not just setting the table, we're telling us, we're saying that at the table we're supposed to practice looking. Okay, so there's kind of like a formal way of being at the table. And that's what I'm spending time on now. is what looking might be. And then the idea would be that we would actually sit down and eat. We would eat this true person. We would receive this true person. We would witness this true person. And then what would really be confirming would be that we would be able to express or demonstrate

[19:25]

our orientation. In other words, the orientation with which we look at this would then, we'd be able to express, we would have that orientation, we could express ourselves. And that's why this story has a section about the monk. The monk, from his attempt to look, the monk says, what is the true person? That's his expression from eating what's been set before him. And then Rinzai interacts with him, and that's Rinzai's expression from his observing, but the monk can't play. And then Rinzai expresses himself again, but the monk has dropped out of the feast, apparently. but um so actually what i guess what i'd like to do with this story and i don't know if we can get to it this week would be that we would have some understanding of looking and then anybody who is looking could then express themselves and we could interact around that expression

[20:49]

which is what's happening in this story. Does that make sense? Anybody have any questions about that? Yes? What I wanted to ask earlier, and maybe this sort of answers it, is what you or some of the people might have for words besides look. I mean, would witness be one? Because I found that word puts me too much into active consciousness, looking. So maybe, is witness something? No, I don't think so, because I'm pretty sure that the word for witness is different from the word look. Witness is what we're... Witness is the sort of the point of looking. How about observation? Observation for look. Observe, observe. That'd be fine. Witness means not only observing, but that you... Witness means understand. You actually see this person. What do you mean it puts you into active consciousness?

[21:56]

To me, looking is... It's in the same realm of maybe watching or something. I mean, I'm like looking. I'm kind of active, not just noticing or observing or... Active consciousness. Active consciousness. What do you mean? Yeah, yeah, right. Hold on. I was thinking that... You shouldn't ask, what is it? If the monk answers in such a way that you shouldn't be satisfied, then that won't be as a person of no value. So that he can look in the right way. I think you're right. I think I agree with you that he looked in the right way, but I don't think that he's a true person of no rank. I don't think you and I or anybody is the true person of no rank.

[23:00]

But I think we can. I think what's being proposed here in both these stories is that it's possible to observe in such a way that you can witness this person of no rank. No rank means also that this person isn't like... This person can appear as a person, but it also can appear not as a person. It has no rank. But you still can witness this. And this thing is in and out of our face all the time. It's embedded in our experience. And I think that, Sonia, I would say that the previous case just told you that you have nothing but active consciousness. So I don't think I wouldn't recommend we try to get away from active consciousness. But given that we're human beings and we have active consciousness, how can we orient ourselves in the midst of active consciousness in such a way that we have a chance of witnessing? If we witness, then we have a chance of responding to someone coming up to us and saying, what is it?

[24:07]

If you witness this, I propose that if you witness this, your orientation is such that you can witness it, and your orientation is such that you can respond. Or you can respond, or you can even come forward and present something. Like this monk tried. His question, what is the person of true rank, that was his expression. That was his understanding. He was telling us. He was demonstrating his witnessing. The teacher said, look, look, and he came forward to give his understanding of what this person is. And the teacher then said, okay, this is your performance, now here's mine. And the monk hesitated. He might have witnessed it, but somehow couldn't, he lost his confidence, or he didn't witness it, one or the other, I would say. I think both these stories are about being able to be present and witness what's happening, basically.

[25:13]

And then, not only that, but come forward from there, which is a further validation of your presence with your meditation. And Rinzai, he's very much known for trying to test this through interaction. So that's what happened in this story. The previous story is also testing. So both these stories, 37 and 38, are both about testing this real living meditation practice where you can actually witness what's happening while you're moving and talking, which we saw how difficult that was when we left here. The moon wipes us out. Our kids wipe us out. We can't continue the meditation Like, imagine Rinzai coming at you.

[26:16]

I mean, that would be hard. It would be hard to stay with it, you know. It's moving real fast. It's moving real fast, yeah. Yeah. Mahin. You told him, you and him, you're not that person's no rank. Did you tell him that? Yeah, I don't think we should understand that people are the person of no rank. Yes. But if we are not that person... But also don't say a person isn't it either, okay? The person of no rank is very ungraspable. Yeah, if you are not that person, how come that person comes in and out through our face? Yeah. But he says he comes, look for it, right? He says he comes to you in and out. Right, so we have this dynamic relationship with our experience.

[27:22]

We're not our experience and we are our experience. I mean, you don't come in and out of your face and yet you do You don't come out of your face, do you? Do you see yourself coming out of your face now? Would you tell us about that experience? How do you see yourself coming out of your face? I'm listening right now. Do you see Mahin coming out of your face? Yes. You do? Do you see Mahin coming in? How does Mahin come out of your face? I have to sit and I can't see it. For a minute I wasn't aware. I didn't see it for a minute. Yeah, that's why I express myself. Sometimes part of me comes through this, sometimes part of it. How? I feel like I'm a little bit red now.

[28:30]

No, you're not, actually. I feel like that. I can imagine, but you're… Something's coming out. A feeling of redness in your face? Yeah. Is that you? Yes. It is you? I think there is one person living there. I don't know if there is another one. No, well, so is this feeling of redness in your face, is this the person of no rank? Is it? I don't know how to say it, but you just have to show if I... You get to say whatever you want, and then after you say that, then there's consequences. So you have to decide, though, is the redness in your face the person of true rank, of no rank, or not?

[29:36]

You get to choose. You don't want to choose. It's me. I don't know yet. I don't know. So are you witnessing this person of no rank coming in and out of your face? Please, please show me. Show me that you're witnessing it. Where did it go? I'm not convinced that you see this person. What do you want to see?

[30:43]

What I want to see? That coming out of the face. I want to see you acting from your meditation practice on this face. And I don't see it. Maybe you could explain it to me, but I don't see it. I don't have anything to explain right now. I didn't ask you to explain, I'm asking you to respond, and I don't feel like you know what you're talking about, my feeling. But you can do something to show me that I haven't understood yet, if you want, but I'm not getting it. I wrote that poem. What is it? Three.

[31:45]

Here, and now, and this is it. Okay. Are you practicing that? Yes. Okay, now show us that you're practicing those three. Now you hesitated. I think you hesitated, didn't you? I don't have anything to show. I told you about the coin. Well, if you have nothing to show, then please show that. Okay? Do you understand? Yes. Okay, so you want to do it now? No. What? No. You don't want to? No. Okay, well, then you don't want to. Maybe that's a person of no rank. Okay. Is that it? That you don't want to express yourself? Is that the person of no rank? I'm not sure who it is.

[32:48]

I'm not sure. Okay. So actually, there has to be, you have to be sure about this. I am both on the side. How do you mean? I don't know. Thank you. Okay, so that's a good try, but you hesitate. Do you understand what I'm suggesting here to do? I'm suggesting you try to absorb yourself into what you think is the way you want to observe, and then express yourself from that And for starters, I will then respond to whatever you do and then we'll see if you can come back again. If you can't, then you've lost your meditation, I guess. Because you'd come right back again from the same place that you came the first time.

[33:49]

But come from that place that you're observing. Okay? I feel like I'm going to throw up. Yes, your foot. That's right, your foot. My foot? It's moving. Yeah, it was moving. Want to try again? No. You can do it later. Now, Wendy is not doing this. She wants to set the table, I think. Yes? Beginners who have not yet witnessed it look, look. Your question to her presupposes that we are to observe something in the other?

[34:51]

No. I don't mean... Pardon? Because if she can't show you... Does that mean that she doesn't experience the no rank coming in out of her face? If she can't show me, does it mean that? Let me think. Does that mean that? Because the look-look would not have to be... I guess my feeling is that she does show me, and what she shows me is that What I felt she was showing me was that she was unsteady in her observation. That's what I felt. She was trying to meditate. She was trying to observe, kind of making some attempt. From that place she came forward with what she said. Then I responded to her, and I feel like she stopped observing.

[35:52]

What do you observe when you don't fully observe? What does one observe? What does one observe when they don't fully observe? You observe some object. A person of some rank. A person of some rank. You observe a person of some rank, yeah. You observe something. And that's your orientation. And if that's your orientation, then you still might try to express yourself. And then you can see how that works. Whenever you come from that place, you're, what do you call it, you're kind of, you're biased. You don't have much flexibility. But if you can practice, I think what some people have said is a good... is a good way to describe the way you should be meditating, is an overall awareness, an openness, a receptive mode, which is not you being receptive, but just letting things arrive, and that be your meditation.

[37:11]

These are good instructions. if you're looking at some particular thing, watching for some particular thing, you're not the arrival of all things, you're there watching something happen, which is, there is a kind of meditation which we have, which we give at beginner's instruction. We say, you know, you sit there on the cushion and you watch your breath, that's fine. But I think this more total awareness what you might also call readiness. But readiness, if you're ready, it's not like you're ready for something to come at you from the front, or something to come at you from the back, or something to come to you from above or below. That's not ready. That's ready for this. It's not ready for that. Ready, I would say, should be radical and total. You should be ready for whatever. Suspended. Suspended, yeah, right.

[38:12]

Like a wind bell. The wind bell is the image of that kind of awareness. Whatever happens, you respond, and that's the sound of wisdom. So that kind of, you know, that kind of presence, or you're just hanging in emptiness and you respond. Whatever happens, you respond. You're not looking to the north, but if the wind comes from the north, you move to the south. That's a normal reaction. Or you may not move, But if there's enough wind, you move to the south a little bit. And then because you move to the south, you're going to move back to the north again, probably, unless the wind comes from the west and you move to the east. But your response is born of the arrival of what's happening. Are these unconditional responses? No, they're conditioned. They're conditioned. It's, it's, it's conditioned consciousness happening, you know.

[39:14]

Like that story I told about Suzuki Roshi when he was coming in the room and the person came in behind him and bumped into him and then he, you know, kind of went forward and gave the guy an elbow in the chest but it was just kind of like, it wasn't like Suzuki Roshi was like waiting for the guy to give it to him. It's just normal reaction, physical, skeletal interaction. And, in that also the story I was telling about where the monk comes and talking about the teacher and the student interacting and the monk says, you know, I'm pecking out, teacher, will you peck in? And the teacher says, how can you live this way? And the monk says, well, if I'm not alive, I'd be a laughing stock. And the teacher says, well, you're still in the weeds. And it sounds like he's kind of putting the guy down But he's not putting the guy down necessarily. Sometimes you can't help but say, I don't like that. And it doesn't mean you don't like that. It just causes and conditions force your mouth open to say, I don't like that.

[40:18]

And at that kind of interaction that sometimes happens, these guys are puppets. These gals are puppets. They're not like sitting there controlling themselves. You can make a Buddha say, I don't like you. It doesn't mean they don't like you or that they do like you. It just means that they're saying, I don't like you. It's like that thing about, you know, when you see somebody in front of you with their left turn signals going on, you know, that doesn't mean they're going to turn left. All it means is their left turn signal's on. You don't know how that got on. I know how it stays on. Your hearing's not good enough here. So, karmic consciousness is not under our control. Karmic consciousness is the kind of consciousness that's about control. It's one of its agendas.

[41:21]

We're into that. Karmic consciousness is, you know, roaring or sputtering along, whatever. That's what's happening. We're in that world. Okay, now, what? Now, even though it's karmic consciousness, it's very similar to enlightened consciousness in the sense that everything's coming forward, realizing what's happening. It's the same, actually that's going on. It's just that karmic consciousness is also saying, I'm here doing this stuff. So karmic consciousness also has that story going on. We're trying now to have this other orientation, simultaneous with karmic consciousness, Not fighting it at all, but simply seeing the other side of the story, which is right there. Rather than this partial approach, like I'm talking, rather than that partial approach, which is a karmic approach, or I'm looking, now there's another approach where everything comes forward and there's looking going on.

[42:27]

Where everything comes forward and there's talking. This is called looking or observing. He says, if you haven't witnessed this, please practice looking. Okay? If somebody has some other idea about what he might mean by instructing people to look, to witness this, you're welcome to say so. Yes? Well, I find the words encouraging. that we have... After all these years, they're still encouraging. Isn't that something? Yeah. And we have these things going out and in. And getting back to Sonia, looking at another word for looking, and this may not be it, but what comes to mind for me is sitting. Uh-huh. Now, that may not be proactive, which is going on anyway, but that's my meditation.

[43:33]

That's what I've been working on lately, is sitting. Your meditation is sitting with? Sitting with. Twin sitting with. Did you say you didn't know what was going on? No. Oh, good. He's from Beverly Hills. I hope I didn't. I hope that wasn't confidential. No. And if it was, it's not anymore. Yes? Is this true, like, you should know that there's one who's not busy, back in 21s.

[44:40]

You should know that there's someone who's not busy. Is it like that? Yeah. Well, um, No, my answer is no, but that's not true. Pardon? What did you say? That's good, Gracie. Is that Rick Watts? How's it going, Jill? Are you following what we're talking about at all?

[46:09]

What do you think is going on here? What do you mean, right now? Yeah, right now. What exactly do you mean? Pardon? What exactly do you mean, what we're talking about? I was actually asking you a simpler question before about what had been going on, but you said right now, and I actually prefer that. If you'd tell me what's going on right now, that's what I'd like to hear. What? Okay. What do you think has been going on in this class the last half an hour? Actually, now it's almost an hour. I've been confused.

[47:17]

If you were to tell somebody, someone asked you what happened in the class, what would you tell them the people were talking about? I thought a lot of people were trying to figure out what's going on. Just like me, I'm sure other people are doing more than I am, but there are a lot of people trying to figure out what's going on, and not everyone is, but people are trying to understand, and they're trying to show who they are. I would say, if they ask you what I say, tell them that I say that I'm not trying to figure out what's going on. I'm trying to witness what's going on. It's different. Usually what we do is we try to figure out what's going on, and that's called karmic consciousness. That's the kind of consciousness where I try to figure things out.

[48:22]

This is a different kind of consciousness This is a consciousness which witnesses, and that's a consciousness which is trying to witness what's going on rather than figure it out. And so, did you understand what we're saying about, like, to observe, rather than I'm watching you, to observe, like, watch everything come forward, and then I see you? Rather than me seeing you? Does that different orientation make some sense to you? Right, people cannot do it. What usually is that people, like people do things, right? That's the way people usually think, right? Like I talk, or I look at you, or I come into a room.

[49:26]

That's the usual way. This is another way which you can't do, which is kind of done to you. So rather than I do, it is done to me, or it is done and then there's me. So it's like the, I sometimes say, it's like, usually the way people think about the world is there's the whole world, plus there's one thing in addition to the whole world. You know what that is? Yeah. So there's like the world, plus there's a bump, there's a bump on the world. Something a little extra. And the other way is, there's a world, there's the world minus something. Just for, you know, almost like, not even in time, but there's a point of view where there's the world minus something, and what is minus is you.

[50:29]

And those two worlds fit together perfectly. I think that the meditation is to switch over to the world minus you. First of all, just let there be the world. First of all, let there just be things coming in and out of the face before there's you. But don't say before there's you, just let there be the arrival of the song to the bird. Or like you're saying, just let there be everything except your head. And there is everything, actually, except me. There is everything except me. I can count everything up, and there's one thing I haven't gotten to yet. If you actually start observing, that'd be the last thing you'll come to is yourself. Unless you start with yourself in the first place and then start counting, which is our usual approach.

[51:38]

So rather than that approach, why don't we just start with the whole-bodied approach, which is count everything, or take everything into account, the myriad things that are happening. But of course, you've got to be faster than that, so you don't have time to count. You've just got to sit still and just feel everything come, and then... Wasn't there supposed to be something else? And there was supposed to be something else, and I couldn't remember it, but when this woman cleared her throat, I remembered it was me. That was my experience. And when she laughed again just then, I remembered me again. It's like there's a compliment of, of things coming forth. And then like, and then there's this kind of like one more thing, a straw that breaks the camel's back. And there's a you, but actually you can practice such a way that you're not walking around most of the time.

[52:46]

And then moment by moment, just before the moment's over, practically something happens and then there's you and that's over. And then there's another one where everything's coming. And then you're not there yet. And then, sure enough, something happens and there's you again. But this is very fast, but actually it's like that. That although it's very fast, we are that fast and you actually, you're the last thing that happens. Because everything comes together to make us. Or when you get to the point where it's you, you've cut off the stream. Mm-hmm. Right. And you start over again. Right. However, what we do, usually, if we hold on to the you, we kind of get behind the eight ball sort of thing. We hold on to the you and then start the next one holding on to us. So then everything gets kind of twisted. And we come to things in this deluded way because we're holding on to what was delivered to us from the last moment.

[53:51]

So we're defiled by that. We've got to somehow now approach it, start watching, start observing without that thing happening, and then watch that you get it, but sort of like turn it around so it's the last thing rather than the first thing. It's a big relief. However, it's very intense to keep, you know, stopping that every time you slip back into the old habit of holding yourself. Now, when you can make that switch and you feel like you're in that swim, then I'd like you to come forward and speak from that Self, the last thing to happen is yourself. Speak from there. And you can speak from there, but it's tricky if you're not used to this. But that's what I think he's talking about here. That's the meditation practice here. And that's what the monks are trying to do with him. And that's what he's doing with the monks. He's waiting for somebody to come forward. If they don't come forward, he just walks out. Yes. When I was walking home after the last class, it's like, it was the voice that, you know, when we talked, only he wasn't talking English, I could continue looking.

[55:02]

It was amazing, the power of the words. Yes. Well, you know, I did, but then again, tonight when you do it, notice that when this thing happens, it's almost like that's the example of where you arrive, you know. But then, at that time, try to not hold on to it until the next moment. Just realize that that's the completion of that experience of yourself. And then drop it again. The thing is, it's hard to drop it again because you feel some social obligation. And You don't stay with it. But actually, when you get home and that thing happens, that's actually, that's in some sense, the culmination of the meditation is when somebody says hello and then, or she coughs, and then there isn't anybody maybe until that point. You don't have a strong sense of that until somebody does something like whatever. But that doesn't have to be the end. For example, you could just walk out of the house again.

[56:03]

and come back in. You could do it several times like that. They'd be all right. Telling them to shut up, though, won't work. I mean, once in a while at least. But basically it won't work because you've already hesitated if you have to tell them to shut up. But if you sense you're losing it, just run out the door again and walk around a little bit and try it again. What is it? Is it a flash of recognition or emotion or what is it that brings you? In other words, you mentioned... What is it that brings what? It brings me into what... It is a flash of recognition, that's right. That's exactly what it is. When you see yourself, you recognize what yourself is. Yourself is the arrival of all things. That's correct.

[57:07]

And something, something, something on the outside of me, but doing clearance of voice... No, it's not really on the outside of you. It is what... Something realizes you. Something realizes you. And at some points you don't feel realized yet. You look at everything and you actually forgot about something. And then something happens and you remember. But the thing that makes you remember is not yourself, It's somebody's voice, or it's your kid's face. It's that that realizes yourself. Your self is not realized by yourself. Your self is realized by the other. That's enlightenment. The usual way is you're already there and you're realizing everything.

[58:11]

You're confirming all this stuff. You're doing Buddhist practice, you're saying hello, you're walking down the street. Well, you know, that's fine. That's karmic consciousness. We know how to do that. That's not going to stop. Simultaneously with that, as a matter of fact, the karmic consciousness itself is also... At the same time, everything's coming forward and realizing the self. And when you see the self realized, that is a recognition, that is an insight. You're witnessing the birth of the self. That's the way to meditate, is to see the other side. But don't try to mess around, anything like that. That's just more karmic consciousness. Don't worry about it. Let it go. But also try to get this sense of everything coming forward. Every moment. Try to get that sense. It's coming in your face and out of your face right now.

[59:15]

You don't have to do anything. You just have to witness it. If you can witness that, then you can also witness this person that gets confirmed by all that. That's the true person. But it's not you. It's the self that has been confirmed. But it is not you. It is a cough. It is a kid's face. It is a smile. It's not you. It's a self. It's like, oh yeah, that too. And the forgetting is right there. It's because of forgotten that it's confirmed. That's called looking. And that's a whole body meditation. This whole body is the whole room. It's all of Green Gulch. It's all of the world. It's everything that's happening. And you can't do it. It does you.

[60:15]

But simultaneously, you're doing a practice. You're doing many things. So there is... the path of what is practiced and what is being practiced. They're simultaneous. Again, what we need to do, if you want to work with this case and really know what it's about, you need to do this meditation, we need to do this meditation, and then this case is saying, just like the previous one is, then test it. And the people who test it are the people who feel like they're doing the meditation and they want to try it. So this is the last session of this particular series. And we start another series, I don't know when. I think after next. I think after next. That's like the 20th, huh? Like the 20th. It's like the 19th.

[61:17]

It's exactly like the 20th. Right? This is what I like to do, is to practice that. You practice this meditation. It's called Zazen, actually. It's called enlightenment. This is called enlightenment. To do this other side here. And it perfectly, it perfectly dovetails with delusion. You know, Genjo Kahn. Just study that, study Genjo Kahn. For you to practice and confirm things and, you know, to come forward, that's delusion. That's called, quote, delusion. It's not really delusion. But that's what is what we call delusion. The other side is the side you need to learn. You need to learn it. It's called learning the backward step. The forward step is, you know, You do stuff. Backward step is stuff is done, not to you, is done, and then there's you.

[62:21]

It's done, and then you're realized. You need to learn the backward step. Learn the backward step, and then we can, in class, if you learn the backward step, you're practicing the backward step, and from that backward step, you come forward and we interact. That's what this case is about. The monk was trying to practice it. He came forward. Rinzai was happy with him. and got down to play. The monk hesitated, and that's the end of the story. And Rinzai mentioned nothing against or about the monk, he just mentioned something about what this true person is like. This true person is like that, is like a piece of shit, a dried piece of shit, or whatever you want to say. You can say whatever you want. Rinzai didn't have to say that, that's what he said. Now, since he said that, we think, well, that's the law, right? But you don't have to say what he said. You have to say what you have to say, and you're not in control of what your mouth will say. When you come from this place, you're not in control anymore.

[63:23]

But if you can do this meditation, you will dare to speak from not being in control. That's why I like Gracie's remark. Didn't sound like she was in control when she said that. Now, that was pretty innocuous. She didn't sound stupid, did she? But it might sound stupid, it might sound aggressive. You don't know what it's going to sound like. You might say something, well, this person's still in the weeds, to somebody who made a wonderful response, you know. That monk was enlightened in that story. The teacher still had to say, this guy's still in the weeds. It wasn't true, but he had to say it because that's what his mouth did. You know, like I said, you know, you take a Zen teacher, you hit him with a rock and a spark comes off. It doesn't mean anything other than when you hit a rock with another rock, a spark comes off, that's all. When a monk comes and says that to a certain teacher, he says, this guy's in a wheeze, he can't help it. These people are not in the realm of control.

[64:26]

I mean, they are, like everybody else, but these unusual statements are coming from someplace else. They're coming from the nature of the mind of control. The nature of the mind of control is that it's not in control. It wouldn't even be concerned with it except that it isn't. Yes? Is this like sometimes when I've been painting and I all of a sudden I just like come back. I come back. I've been normal. Painting has been painting. Right. It's like that. All of a sudden I am there and I don't for a little bit, I don't have any words. The words aren't there. Well, that might be, but you might have something to say right away. You might go like this. You're painting and then suddenly you go like this and you go... make a little blue thing and go blue and then suddenly there you are. You didn't expect that this blue thing would be you, but it is you.

[65:33]

That's when that was you. And you might have something to say right at that time. You might have something to say. You might say, piece of dried shit, you might say. You can talk from that place. You don't have to, but you can talk. You can do anything from that moment. Matter of fact, you do. But The thing is not for you to do it, but for it to be an expression of this self which was just realized by the arrival of the color. The color's coming in. That realizes the self. That realizes the true self. When the color comes, the self, that's the true self. It's not you. It's the color, you could say. But it's not the color. It's the arrival of the color that confirms you. Of course, you're not blue. But sometimes you feel blue is more you than anything you've ever seen before. It's more truly, truly you than anything you've seen before. Painting is painting you. Where are you going, Janine?

[66:34]

To go to the bathroom. Is that okay? No, sit down. I can't. This is est. I can't. I have to go to two pretty soon. Because we've been drinking so much tea. Yeah, and it's fitness tea. Fitness tea. Maybe that's what's wrong. Maybe I've been drinking too much fitness tea. Yeah. Or maybe it's allergies. There's a lot of allergies going around these days. Yes. Lots. So I feel like we're just getting started on this, and I'd like to actually see if we can practice this in our daily life for the next two weeks, come back to class, see if anybody has anything to say.

[67:43]

If you don't, we can go on to case 39. And then... Because... we should just do something until we're ready to practice this case. I mean, if nobody wants to practice this case, we can just wait until, you know, we can go read some Buddhist literature or something. Play golf or something. Maybe it's not going to work. I can't quite... Right, right. I was just kidding, in a sense, to say that we can do something else as a way to get started, and sort of like, what do you call it, fast on this case until we're really ready to do it. And whenever anybody wants to do it, we'll be on case 38 again. But case 38, you know, case 39 is a different kind of thing. Different kind of thing. Can you say that again? Yeah. We have a formal dinner two weeks from now? Well, this is a formal dinner. We're having it tonight, too.

[68:45]

It's just that we're having a little trouble eating. Or people are eating, but then they're having trouble having dinner time conversations. We're being very hesitant with each other. We're very shy. because we think we're here. What we need to do is we need to be in a position more like a feeling like the arrival of the guests is us. And then when the guests arrive, we say whatever we have to say to the guests. Okay, that's called the host. That's called the host. He mentioned something about food. Who, he? He mentioned something about food. Isn't that a case? That's a case of telling something. Oh, Henry wants something to eat. No, it's been two weeks. Well, could you be in charge of the truck wagon?

[69:50]

Now, if we were on a cattle drive, who would be our... Who would it be? Henry. Well, he's certainly a candidate. Anyway, I think it'd be fine to have some actual, you know, appropriate food to eat in the class. The main thing that we eat here, of course, is our mind. But food is, you know, I mentioned to Susan today that, so anyway, is the assignment clear? the assignment is practice this backwards learn this backwards step practice this backwards step and then we'll try to you know interact around that and if you feel like you're able to do that practice then then start expressing yourself from that place and watch what happens and then we can do it in a class just like they did it here and maybe somebody will do better than that monk better than Rinzai

[71:19]

Is that his first name? Linji's first name? Linji is like the area his temple was in. It means by the edge of the, it means by the edge of a, you know, the ford by a river, a river ford. It means at the edge of the ford. So his temple was at the edge of the ford, so they called it Linji. Linji Si. So he was called Linji. And he lived there with just a few people. And he really expected a lot of them. He expected so much of them that they became really competent practitioners. And so this wonderful tradition came from this. He just worked with these people. He wasn't famous. He just really worked on these people. And some people stayed there and they really got it together apparently.

[72:27]

He was a really sincere person. And no nonsense and just all he cared about was the truth and helping people realize it. So he just stayed there. Didn't travel much or you know a few of our more famous Zen masters visited him and stuff and There was no bad reps on him, but he just caused some trouble. Anyway, so is the assignment clear? Do you have some sense of how to do it? How to meditate? It's a, you know, it's this backward step thing. It's kind of hard. And if you don't want to do it, don't. Or maybe somebody does, and you can come and watch. Now, I wanted to mention that This is not exactly the same kind of meditation, but I mentioned this. During Sashin, I was sitting at one point, and I was feeling kind of, you know, semi-blissed out, and I was feeling like this big kind of white surface.

[73:38]

And I was sitting kind of like this, you know, my mudra was not in contact with my abdomen. But I was sitting up straight and I was quite alert and enjoying the situation quite a bit. And I was very relaxed and at peace and all that. In a way. So anyway, it was good. But I noticed my hands were not in contact with my abdomen. And I just had this feeling of this big, soft, kind of vague, vague awareness. And the image came to my mind of dim san. Dim san means literally dot heart. And these little muffins, they often have little dots on them in the center. And the dot heart

[74:43]

one meaning of that is that this food is kind of snack food, you know. And that lady up in the mountains, you know, that Virtue Mountain ran into, you know, she said, with which mind can you get these, will you get this thing that's the same character. It means refresh, you know, but it means like to hit the spot. These little things, they kind of hit the spot. They refresh your mind, you know, they hit right on. And also the verb of eating is the same word. The cake or the dumpling or whatever is called a dot heart. And the verb is called dot heart, too. So when the lady said to him, she was selling him these dot hearts, you know, and she said, well, if you can answer this, I'll give you one of these. So then she says, past mind cannot be gotten. Future mind cannot be gotten. present mind cannot be God, with which mind will you dot the heart?

[75:49]

You know, with which mind will you refresh yourself? With which mind will you eat this dumpling? But literally, it's with which mind will you dot the heart? Anyway, I was sitting there with this, kind of like this feeling, this big white dumpling, you know, with my hands out there, and I thought, I think I'm going to dot this heart. And I think I knew how to dot it. The way to dot it is to just bring my hand and touch my abdomen. And you just might watch that, just experiment with that difference in quality, you know, between the nice, relaxed, big feeling you have when you're meditating and your hands are just sort of somewhere in your lap. And then when you take them and you bring them in contact with that point below your navel just have to come and touch there and watch the difference in the quality of the mind that's this do it when you're calm sometime and relaxed and awake you have to be awake in order to watch the difference but watch the difference between this it's kind of general it's kind of like alertness and when you like zero in on that point where the hand touches the abdomen just

[77:06]

That's an example of something coming in the portals of your face. Okay? Before that it was kind of like this stuff was coming in kind of generally, but then you bring it into that one spot, you tune in that final dimension of your posture and you touch there. And you dot, I definitely experienced that it really did focus and dot the heart. And it changed it. It wasn't any longer, it's just this big soft bliss state. It was, You know, to tell you the truth, what happened was I gave up that bliss state and just was present. That's the difference for me. But you check that out and watch that. And that's another way in your meditation to watch how stuff comes in and out, just in terms of meditating on your posture and the slight differences in whether you're really aware of the details of your sensation Was the list state looking, or you're saying it wasn't? The looking that we've been talking about.

[78:09]

I don't think it was looking, no. I think it was me. I was sitting there, having a good time. I was sitting there, watching this. Kind of like in my mind's eye, watching this. It felt like a big, white, round surface. Like a big, puffy, soft moon. You know? And... But it didn't have... And I noticed my hands were not in contact with my abdomen, which I recommend, you know. So I thought, well, you recommend it? Maybe later. Just enjoy this a few minutes more. But then finally I just sort of brought it in, touched it. And I don't want to say any more about what happened, but I will tell you that the difference between those two is bears on this issue. And I guess basically what I'm saying is that when the hands are touching... For me it's more like this looking than when I was sitting there enjoying the state. But you can check it out and it works best if you are feeling kind of relaxed and enjoying the state.

[79:18]

And then to bring yourself into the next, bring yourself into that higher level of focus which will happen when you actually feel your hand, your mudra, against this part of your body. You check it out and see what the difference is. And then maybe compare that to what we've been talking about tonight. So we'll continue with 38 in two weeks. May our intention...

[80:07]

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