the practice of Buddhism, the tradition of what's called Buddha dhyana, that speaks like that, can you hear it in the back all right? I was founded by the God Indua, and worldview about tradition, if I may say of this tradition, called the Buddha Way, is that there are two and only two modes of existence for sentient life. But there are two and only two roles for sentient beings to exist.

[01:16]

And those two roles are called in Sanskrit, samsara and wavana. I don't know if I wanted to mention the good news or the bad news first. The good news, it's called nirvana, is that it's impossible for us to live, to live, you know, human beings to live, to live, that lives are inconsistibly happy, free,

[02:27]

and beneficial to all other living beings. But it is possible for our human being to... ...realize... ...a world living... ...which is unauthorily happy... ...and does not decay... ...through the endless changes... that love is subject to and goes through this is called nirvana or enlightened existence the other option is called samsara which means going around in a circle in a circle samsara means circle but also going round and round and that role of loving which is available to us

[03:30]

is unassorable misery, non-stop, and anxiety, fear, and compulsive advantage. Only the two options, and there's no purgatory tool. However, there is a process of purgation. The process of purgation is called the Buddha Training Program. At least two hours may sound like heavy and hot.

[04:43]

And, um, if they do, fine. The state of, uh, the environment is, or, you know, a little one is to sort of, uh, um, look out, uh, uh, burn out. to be burned out, in a sense. So, you're kind of a root of the word. And that's burned out or extinguished, more rules. Self-conserve. That's what burned out. We find that it's the rule of existing when you don't care about yourself anymore. Not even a little. If you care about a little, that's enough to put you, keep you in a little misery. This woman don't care about yourself at all.

[05:49]

And you do care about every single other living thing. This is called unsolvable happiness confusion. The role of eternal love that reason is the role where you still do care about yourself because you care about some other people. Those who basically promote yourself. Or even not basically, maybe a little bit promote. Or the role you care about people to help you a little. They help you a lot to care more. So basically it's all about self-concern. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. But arrows is enough. This one-level threat is enough to keep us in this compulsive, obsessive bondage. But more minerals is the load of existence of selflessness and happiness.

[06:52]

When we're willing to come into bondage, if it's interesting to other people, if it helps them forward, bondage is not a problem. But it's not compulsive bondage, because it is chosen thoughtlessly to benefit others. So bondage is the evil realm of bondage for one who doesn't care about herself anymore, is a prorogand. The realm of where all beings are suffering in great agony is a problem when you go and root suffering beings and show them the path to become free. It is a joy to have the opportunity to help selfish beings. While not caring about what it may cost yourself. Okay?

[07:57]

So for the villainous tradition, especially for the founder, that's pretty much it. That's the story of the villainous host. And by the end, the story went to him. It's a story, it's a joke. It's like, what's it like in heaven? No, what's it like in hell? In hell, it's like a big dinner party. A big dinner party, lots of people, like, you know, lots of people and the most delicious food is available and enjoy it and you know it and you really want to eat the food and the one wrong with this particular food is that you have to eat with chopsticks

[09:18]

So like chopsticks. The only problem is that the chopsticks are 11 feet low. So of course you can't eat, you can't feed yourself for these 11-foot chopsticks. That's hell. So what's hell and like heaven is exactly the same situation, except what you do, you use the chopsticks to feed other people. Today is my 22nd modern anniversary. Kind of, it's the 22nd, and it's the 22nd. Me too, so before I got married, and, um,

[10:27]

I was a Zen priest at the time. I'd been a Zen priest for, um, three years. I'd been ordained a Zen priest for three years, and I got married. And, uh, but, you know, the concept of marriage was, didn't include that, uh, um, I would be totally devoted to the wife that I was marrying. In fact, I had the concept that I was a priest, so I was actually devoted to all beings. And since my wife was associated with me, I probably should, with her last, make her most priority. But over the months, I wasn't associated with me ahead of her. And I think I even said something about that to her. And I think she sort of heard me and said, okay. But when she saw how it was going to turn out, she changed her mind.

[11:34]

And it took her quite a while, but finally she sent this room to me, which a lot of people know. It's uksar-less. It comes from a Greek, uksar, which means wife. And she said that I should probably work on that. I should work on being devoted to their wealth. I looked up the room recently and I found out that it was a kind of excessive devotion to one's life to the point of foolishness. I mentioned that to her and she said, that's okay. I knew that. excessively fond and don't have the music service.

[12:39]

Anyway, I was, at that point, I was, I grew out and we started to some longer the practice of devotion, total devotion to life. And, um, it really worked. And it, uh, pretty much It pretty much just made me completely happy in my marriage. And before I had that concept, and before I was doing that, I had pretty much a long start to struggle with it. And at first, when I started practicing that road, she would sort of stuff like, I forgot what you saw exactly, but, like, bothered them before. Uh, didn't bother. Um... I appreciate your effort.

[13:48]

Really? And, um... I think there are a lot of people who actually are devoted to us who see that even though we haven't come very far towards our potential complete selfless devotion to our beings which don't have for us especially what applies to them They do appreciate our effort. Like, you see the effort. And so, she appreciated my effort, even though I wasn't coming along very quickly.

[14:50]

Anyway, after several years, she switched from, I told her I didn't really like that even better than before, or, you know, so bad as before. She actually started to switch to just plain and good. Like, Good husband. I mean, finally, best husband. Best husband for me. But even before much happened, even before she could even see, the fact that I searched, it would leave me a great corner of my suffering. This time of year, there's lots of things on the road we are in.

[15:57]

And to review our new newspapers about people who make a special effort to be generous and compassionate. As I heard on the road yesterday, the president has called this time of year, the season of enlightenment. My wife also is part of her devotion to me. She gets out of the room and she brings her back wonderful stories about killing the world.

[17:04]

What's the world she's doing with them? About hate crimes. As you know of this hate crime thing is it gets up It's like a violent disease that is going on, you know, in the world of misery. But there is something weird. I don't know how loud about these here kinds of matters. It's sometimes, it's sometimes, it's a condition. for our crews, our people, to kick the door door and support each other in response to this hate. And one example of those heroes in the beginning of the internet Robles are strong.

[18:09]

I'm fairly strong. I'm following the Ku Klux Klan. There's been quite a bit of hateful activity expressed by these people. Towards, basically, towards what is your pain? The other. It's hating the other. It's hating what's not you. And I forgot how this happened, but when you were at some planet, in some home, A little Jewish boy put a memoir. It was after his first memoir. But you know, memoirs is a killer. Killer, I don't know, I don't know. Is it mine? Eight. Get, uh, part killer holders. At the beginning of Haruka. You pull up.

[19:09]

One lane. That's not fair. I'm sorry. There's one in it. And then he put that up at the beginning of Honecah, and went out one year ago. So soon Lord put that in, and he was given the window of his house. And the government came in, and some people came by, threw a rock through the window. And that was, uh, killed a lot of them, had been oiled on. And, uh, I took the villainous, uh, newspaper. featured a story about that, and it asked everybody to put minerals in their windows. And Billings is a small name in the town, I believe. I don't know if the population is going to say, is there one now? Let it go in the town. We have a million times in the community of our building. Anyway, the newspaper asked the people to put the Mars in the Alkina one was.

[20:13]

And the Jewish population of bones is probably about six. By the row, 10,000 people put the Mars in the Alkina one of those. So the picture, though I'm peeling, was a picture of the credibility of the potential to be inconsiderably happy and free and kind and wise, and also almost inconsiderable suffering for us. And in that suffering, in confusion, which is generated by self-consuming,

[21:17]

We can be very cruel to each other and to ourselves. And for the last few talks I've been giving here, I've been talking about the world of selfishness and taking pictures. I wrote what we do out of selfishness. And afterwards, one of my friends said, I think I've had enough of this business about how selfish we are. Can we talk about compassion? Next time we're going to talk, we're going to talk about compassion. So I thought, okay. But then as soon as I think of compassion, I think of the amazing thing to be compassionate about is the suffering that arouses from selfishness. We're just going to get really confused. But out of our confusion, The storm sure was a basic mistake of seeing myself suffer from others and then trying to protect him from out and satisfy himself, the isolation of others.

[22:37]

that basically gives some such intellectual mistake. Then, we will merge out through our feelings and emotions and causes tremendous turbulence, in pain, and in that wild world of turbulence, in conflict, between our self-consuming and the concerns of others. We get so confused and so disordered and so much claim that we act out of that, and because we throw rocks through windows, or little boys that put candles. We as your beings are potentially selfless beings. We have the ability to be selfless. But we are not naturally selfless. In order to be selfless beings, we must realize how thoroughly selfish we are.

[23:48]

If we want to skip all of our seeing how selfish we are, the selfishness unsupervised will flourish. And this flourishing means our suffering. Selfishness is unbearable. clear observation will reveal itself in all its horror and it will drop to an invasion. But it's not really to look at our own selfishness. It's not really to look at other people's selfishness. We found that rather disgusting. But it's not really as disgusting as our own. In selfish interest in suffering, in suffering, and in selfless interest in loss for peace and freedom. If we desire only loss for peace and freedom of selflessness, then I wish to enter a path like I saw this Buddha children problem.

[25:06]

And Buddha children problem is to study the self and to study The self concern arises around the self. To study the role of development is to study self and selfishness. If you want to study selflessness, it's not to study selflessness, because you can't say selflessness, it doesn't really be studied. Selflessness should be expressed. Selfishness must be supervised, must be watched carefully and understood. But we don't like to look at our own selfishness. We don't really feel pleasant. However, we read a thought. I propose to you what we may read. Tomorrow we look at our selfishness. that to be enthusiastic about looking at our selfishness.

[26:12]

We need to love the meditation in our own selfishness. We need to love it. We need to perform with joy at the extremely wholesome thing of looking at our own selfishness. Looking at our own selfishness to feel it. and to remove it and understand it protects all beings. Be cool in yourself. Keep a close track of our own selfishness protects all beings, not just from us, but don't run through it. To know about our selfishness and become full of it will become not only I could be protected from us, but we become a positive, beneficent, element in the universe. We can share names, but the role of happiness goes to study such as selfishness, and to become free of it.

[27:19]

We are devoted to the wrath of others. And thinking about how you can help others is a vulnerable role to at the same time study selfishness. Because if you think about helping others, You will notice often, selfishness will be a white boy, a criminal attempt to help them, or a human resistance to one devotion. If you don't turn it to the author of other things, one of the things you might do is practice generosity, gigging.

[29:03]

So, one time, so I would actually, right while I was working on this practice of gigging one time, someone would do a mirror, a beautiful mirror pencil, automatic pencil. A really nice one. And I brought it home, and my wife saw it, and she said, can I have it? And I was fat and slugged. No. The reason why I was so mad was because I didn't want to do it to it. I didn't want to do it to it. And at the same time I didn't want to do it to it. When I said that, and I felt that when I said that, I felt bad. I thought, boy, I'm trying to practice women. I got to just come with a pencil.

[30:04]

And I'm a dear wife who's been so kind to me for all those years. What was the pencil? I want to do the pencil. But that was the way I felt. That's who I was. That's the way of it. I could have been there too anyway, but That's really what I'm doing with the pencil. That's just like handling all of this pencil so that she's not there and I don't have to admit how selfish I am. And also I've been resenting her for mostly stealing the pencil from me. Coaching me when I've been guilty or not like I'm feeling guilty if I'm living if I checked it. So I wouldn't, women is not to resent a person who would do the pencil to.

[31:07]

But to serve in a thief. A pressure thief. Villainy, I respect your practice. As a practice to help you overcome milderliness. Because you remember what you want to do, it gives an extreme joy. None of them, none of them like a little joy, extreme joy. None of them like, oh, I kind of like to do it. Yeah, really. 100% enjoy it. So, I worked on it. I felt my selfishness, I felt a pain in my selfishness. And I thought about this pencil, and I thought about my life, and I thought about how it would be kind of nice to do it to her. And I thought about it so much, so I thought it would be quite nice to give it to her. And I thought about it so much, so I thought about it would be really nice to give it to her. And I thought about it until I really, really, completely wanted to give it to her.

[32:13]

And then I gave it to her. And she accepted it. It was overwhelming to her. Help me see that I was selfish. When devoted to duty, help me see that I was selfish. Help [...] me see that I was selfish. Alone. I have no other problems. What about the suffering of other people?

[33:19]

That's not my problem. There is no job. Other people's suffering is no job. I'm responsible for it, but that's where I put my life. That's my job, is to meet suffering greetings. With the heart, the nerves, that very early problem, is their self-consent. There are no other problems. Otherwise, life kills an unstoppable one-stop twist. So now it is, I'm just about to do this watch. It's possible that we can press cartoon in the window.

[34:23]

It's about a blue light so you can see it or see it in your turn. It's time to receive this light. The turn is about to see it goes 4 minutes to 11. I can't press the light because every time I press the light, it destroys the turn. Kind of cosmic. Anyway, she's going to turn it to me, trying to do a plan that's fucking pussed her out in sugar time. I looked at my rock because I know it's time to talk about the, you know, more about the world, but this name is time, and I just want to mention that I would order most of us in order to actually clear those off, [...] clear those off.

[35:26]

And not just for me, just for oddly happy, but for when I, you know, harvest others, but also to help others get started and go on this path too. In order to do this, we have to basically give up wasting time. There's not time to roast. Some of you are in one world than me, and some of you are in one world, but all of us cannot afford to roast totally. Even though there's an opportunity to discipline yourselves, it is practice of studying stuff. notice of selfishness, notice of its pain, through my works, and progressively toward realizing selflessness.

[36:28]

Every moment is like that. That's really. That's absolutely good. It's my manuscript. I write that. But that doesn't really give us to the time because we already have been roasting quite a bit of time. I have already roasted quite a bit of time. We have a well-established pattern of roasting time. That means to do things which distract us from working at what the problem is. Losing time is to lose sight of our own selfish motivation, to lose sight of it, and therefore, in that lack of attention to it, the children know it can act selfishly and do them the pattern of selfishness. How are we not being lost time? We'll have to discipline ourselves. We'll have to discipline ourselves.

[37:30]

Just look what happened just by accident. It's not going to happen just by accident. I take it back, even though I'm bouncing around accidentally. Just bouncing around and I just like, oh, look how selfish I was, bow. It isn't that a drug. It don't really work that. It isn't this beautiful. And we don't know how to drop this whole thing. And we don't know how to really care about it. Yeah, that might happen by accident. Fine. I take it back. We will be able to learn about that accident. And even in all this world, it doesn't happen. when we slip back into not noticing our selfishness, and can let our selfishness come out and act without supervision, without values, without retortion, the total of the pattern, and causes my harm. To be one little element of looking away from my selfishness, I can poke somebody in the eye.

[38:34]

To be one little element of looking away from my selfishness, can act me from that, I can poke somebody significantly. especially someone who, you know, looks up to you. And I was a random person, actually, you made me wrong, when I was 26, I was the director of the City Center, San Francisco City Center. I was the director, and the same person came to study in Xenomir. He was a professor of studies at the University of North California, Berkeley. And he came to talk And I was talking to somebody and he came up and talked to me and I raised my finger and said, just a minute. Just a minute. And that discouraged him from practicing for the rules. You start wondering when I'm like, you know, just won't lie, man, just shut up, kind of feeling, you know?

[39:40]

And just that feeling of, you know, we're not important, just a little, a little bit of love, then you know, a smack thing, I hardly noticed it, but it really hurt him. Now, people's hearts are awkward, you know, in spiritual situations. I think it's nice to work and we can easily hurt them. In time, we don't, [...] we don't work. We don't do work. Just a couple of days ago, I was just up in the mountains in Tassajara. And I was talking to somebody. I was making a meeting. I was calling a meeting to turn the ceremony as part of a ceremony to receive the precepts. The precepts of selflessness. The whole ceremony where we get precepts of selflessness.

[40:43]

And as part of a ceremony, we get to go on one Buddhist meeting. So I was consulting with some friends of all the people that were doing the building and seeing the precepts. I was talking to them and asking my advice about leaving this person. And there was another person named Bob who didn't know this person. And I didn't want to ask that person because that person didn't know this person that I wanted to leave. Is that cool? But she kind of ran into the building of the conversation. And I kind of didn't want it to be in any conversation. Because I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to get heard through anything about the name of this person. And then the next day she said, well, I got through this whole treatment, you're a three-month training program. And I think I could sell it, but I got through it. But I didn't want to get any work from you, except yesterday. We were talking with people about the name of me.

[41:44]

I felt like you were doing well during work. And I said, I don't know if it wasn't during work. I just... I was talking to Ben because there was a person, and so that worked out a lot. And so she didn't get to her training corridor by one dirty look from the teacher, which wouldn't mean a lot to her if she'd go home and say, I've been a good one dirty look. If I hadn't talked to her about you, if she told you that, and you'd say, I didn't mean it as a dirty look, I just didn't actually talk to you about it while I talk to these other people, It's a little thing. But there was a kind of... I've also been with a historian. I wouldn't have to say something like that. I don't want to talk to you about this. [...]

[42:49]

We smear out things. So it's the time, it's the season of enlightenment. There's lots of things that can burst through the phone. There's lots of time to receive. But those are the other ones too that are gone on. There's little limits of selfishness that are gone on. Can you notice them? How do they discipline yourself with this? At the moment of the practice program, one of the monks spoke in the talks that I gave to the monks up in the rooms as a pastor to a dish harmonious with the outside world, with the world outside the mainstream. Because I was talking about my wasting time, and there were a few examples of wasting time.

[43:57]

That was a little bit. having a job to make money for yourself. Selling money in the bank, trying to interest on money, going to arms, realize purpose and reasons, going shopping. Have to measure parking and kind of outdoor and possibly road in Seoul. I listen to culture. over those two times, some of the rich people usually consider as wasting time. This is where the most people view last year playing was really learned by wasting time. So this is where this is my most girl I was taught to. Now, of course, again, because of my real wife, I know shopping is still wasting time. Because I'm added on shopping at a larger to help. Which is the most important thing that's really true.

[45:07]

I've heard shopping. The only way I'm shopping is to go to hell. All I've heard about it, because I can go to hell. So I'm going to have my suits for the hundreds to sit. So I'm going to have a tour on the blue bears. Good job. It's a rush. So we're going to start, we're going to see what we're saying in our environment. But it sounds like the test, you know, can we ask, you know, something really, really expensive for somebody who's not going to be learning to us? And she says, oh, how do you know that I'm extremely expensive, wonderful puzzles? Because I know nothing else, you know. She's extremely generous.

[46:07]

Not only does she think I'm being responsible for this, but she goes, we're going to make this, you know, like she was so proud. People feel, God, we're going to drift. How do you still go out? She says, I'm just a lot of drift, further, [...] further. She'd be like, okay, what do you think of us, you know? But I'm sitting around here. I'm looking for this. So what I'm trying to do is... is I say, uh... What? [...] I'm sure it doesn't do something for herself or she sometimes does.

[47:10]

And she's choosing the two or two things. And the one, and the one she kind of laughs and the other one she really laughs, but the one she really likes is more expensive. I really suggest it's expensive one. Turn it short then, and One time we were shopping, she was sitting there with a shower, a very expensive, beautiful shower, very expensive and beautiful. And when a car was sitting there with a suit for her business, she was sitting there with a suit, and it was a very expensive suit. And she asked me which one I thought she should do it. And I thought, she'd get the suit, it's really useful. And she said, that is so romantic.

[48:13]

And I said, yeah, that doesn't seem romantic, but I understand why it's romantic because it's romantic that I want her to have the best. Anyway, how do they search for the husbands to sit in? So they're like, tell me what their situation is like. If you want to talk for what's happening, you may want to speak. You may want to speak with a clear, calm, compassionate mind and so less. You must have been around the world best for our beings. But you have to discipline yourself. You have to make a commitment to go shopping with your wife. To go shopping for yourself is a verse to term. Unless you go shopping for yourself, in order to help other beings. Sometimes other girls will actually go shopping for yourself, but you should go shopping instead of most of them.

[49:14]

Anything you do, when we put ourselves first, is the worst of time. Anything in English puts others first is not a waste of time. But I can't say anything. Maybe there's something in person we could do, putting others first. I can't think about that. Let me know if there's such a thing. I'm doing something in person that will put others first. Is there anything like that? Let me know if I question you answer. Are you sure that one already? Something to do? It could be an intellectual mistake. It could arise from that basic split. And it could be harmful to oneself, neglectful to oneself, to always put, and selfish, to always put so-called others first.

[50:22]

I think that can happen. Well, we can discuss this, but I think what you're saying is you can misunderstand about humans. But probably, when the moon starts put on his first, he can move his understanding of the moon. For example, on the airplane they say, put your all-in oxygen mask on first before the travel helps somebody else. Well... So that's, in order to help others, you have to put your own mask in and see if you've got some areas so you can put the mask on. To try to put those on first would be a mistake. It's not practical. You can have more people if you've got yours on them. So put yours on first, so it's going to help people. That's the example of having to put your own, you help yourself, apparently, to help others. So in fact, You don't want to help others, that's what I'm telling you, okay? I'm telling you that if you want to help others, the first thing you have to do is to put your own oxygen mask on.

[51:23]

And your own oxygen mask goes to notice how selfish you are. You need to invite yourself half of other beings by neutralizing yourself, by starting to neutralize yourself, by realizing that you are running selfish quarter. And now we're three here, we're three here, we're 10 or quarter, and both of them are selfish. That's, if we do that, they don't have enough to be soft, now we can help other beings. So once again, I've always told them we're really disciplined. And in order to discipline, we have to clarify what it gives them all of the discipline that. What is the practice that you wish to do? To think about what's practical, to think about what I really want to do right now. And do what I want to do. In light of this, how selfish you are. You're still in the eye of that.

[52:25]

I don't know if you knew. There's nothing I want to talk about, but we just think that when we have such a root in the universe, you keep the knowing, you keep the failure, your own selfishness, you are willing, you have anger, you have confusion, if you think we have such a root in the universe things, and keep track of them, then the question goes, do you want to commit yourself to a discipline of noticing that you're keeping those things before you. If you don't, then I think it would be good to say, I don't. I don't run into that. If you do, then so you do. And if you do, then make a commitment. Once you make a commitment, And if you want to come up with your mind, you get that.

[53:35]

And you actually throw around with your voice. And you actually put your mind in the place to do that. That creates an actual physical structure, giving your heart, giving your mind. And that actual physical, structural support of your heart will support this style, this intention, to study yourself through an author of our beings. Without this kind of commitment, it becomes to three minutes left, likely, that we'll be able to overcome our selfishness. In which choice? Well, I told you how terrible that is. In order to successfully and thoroughly and completely study ourselves to the point of where we become free of selfishness, I think it looks like we are in discipline.

[54:42]

In order to put aside these rooster activities, or distract ourselves from our real look of liberating ourselves and our abilities, We need to structurally, verbally, mentally, and physically commit ourselves and create this kind of support to your heart and your environment. Have you clarified this issue? Do you think that it is necessary to become a roar of low selfishness? If you do think it's necessary to become aware of your selfishness, and to keep your eye on it, and to become full of it, have a mother commitment. Do have support within your own heart and mind, and even environment among your friends and relatives, to do this joyful work of meditating on your own selfishness.

[55:51]

And if you, if the answer is yours, then you're on the drive, but then you just know if you're on the server, because if you're on the server, then, well, maybe you could find out how to do that. There's many of those. I was also able to have a little bit of this turn this into like a recruiting problem, but you're on the phone on me. where people actually are who seem to use precepts. Not killing, not stealing, and so lose their precepts to support the meditation in selfishness and the liberation from selfish activity. Not killing, not stealing, to listen to sexuality, not lying, not intoxicating, not soft for others, not speaking of others' thoughts, not praising self for the expense of others, not being possessive, not harboring their world, and not discouraging, enlightening it, particularly by enlightening it for the community of practitioners.

[57:06]

Desire to absolutely revivere all immersive activities. to vow to practice universal activities, and to vow to reverse and sustain all beings. I'm telling you that, because then we're free and happy, using the precepts, which will continue to suit and commit oneself to. And when one does that, one has then established a support, a support, a container in which you can cook, until your selfishness is blasted away, and you are, have become a fastless, uh, man. This curtain process talks about the voice to person to person, depending on the temperature, and, uh, it was, it was, uh, thrown in the pot.

[58:10]

If the shot in the windows arrived, uh, we know, That would make a difference. But anyway, we need to make a container. We need to make a container, a carman. We need to make a container. [...] We The container is a commitment to the practice of selflessness, which is a commitment to stubbornly self-consume. And I was about to throw it, but it takes about 30 dollars to cook it off. But I'll choose to have it and throw it off. I'll take that back. It takes more or less depending on the temperature and who the cook is. The cook is your teacher.

[59:11]

So like I said, we've shot the universe here and we've got the pot maybe, you know, two weeks. And most of us don't have robot teachers, so a lot of them have robot teachers, so it takes me all about hundred years. But, you know, I've been cultural for three years and it's I feel a lot of listening up with this selfishness and just I learned a lot of listening up as you're a little bit encouraging. So would I talk a stranger like this to you? It took you 30 years is not, you know, something they're discouraged about. Some of the greatest ancestors took 30 years. Actually, it takes you and the wealth of it, but we won't get into that right now. So I have a lot of songs here to sing.

[60:21]

I have songs about the world of music and I have songs about... do you follow me? I don't know what songs are about the environment, or... I don't know which one we're... I'll try this one. This is part of the first one, but I'm not the victor of this one. But we can do it twice. Can we, can we? Do you know why I'm involved in our help? This is little the way I am. I will be free of selfish concern. How? I don't care about yourself anymore. You just care about other people. So it's like this. I will see truth and gloomy. We are the answers too. I will see truth and gloomy. From you to you when I feel to myself.

[61:26]

When I run both of the wind I see scars on me, I cry the great The well-blossed day, the backstreet night In a full tune of stars When I run both of the wind The colors of the rainbow set through the sky. I saw the forces of people going back. I saw the flow of the cheek of a stranger hiding there. And though it's only for you, I love you. I see the girls crying. I'm not still there, but you, then I'll ever know when I speak to myself what I run for the world.

[62:28]

I'll see wind, I'll see trees of doom. We'll be on this trip. I'll see that rain from me too. And I'll think to myself, roll and roll for a win. I see stars of blue and clouds of red. And I'll sing to myself. I'll sing to myself. I'll sing to myself. I'll sing to myself forever. The colors on the rainbow. The sword. On the covers of the moon, there's a criminal sky. I lost the land of sources of the people in my life.

[63:30]

I forgot to change the land, told me how do you live? What is so I love you? I keep hearing those crying, I have lots of them. Those who are trying, God, I will grow and I'll sing to myself. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow. No! No!

[64:34]

Well, in your case, of course, it doesn't apply. Because you're working and you're saving your money for the welfare of all beings, right? Then it's selfish. If you're afraid of getting old and being on the street, that's selfish. It's not anything but selfish. It's all it is is selfish.

[65:50]

Do you want to talk about that anymore? What do I do with my life? No, your life isn't all wrong. Your attitude's all wrong. Your attitude is, what's going to happen to me? Who's going to take care of me? What's going to happen to me when I get old? Am I going to have a nice house? This is your wrong attitude. That's called attitude of selfishness. And thinking like that is nonstop fear, anxiety, sickness. Almost everybody's got it. You're not the only one. You're just the only one to ask the question. But That attitude is the attitude of misery. It's self-concern. If you've got that attitude, you should watch it. You should watch it like you're watching a poisonous snake. If you watch it, watching it is not the wrong attitude. That's the right attitude. That's the attitude of watching a poisonous snake. That's what your life could be about.

[66:54]

And if your life is about that, pretty soon the snake will be tamed. The snake will disappear. Not pretty soon, 30 years. 30 years of intent meditation. Longer if you do it just occasionally. So this thing about my retirement, my hospitalization, my house, my 99 life, and really being caring about that stuff rather than doing it as some kind of burlesque. That is, did you miss me there? You could do a little burlesque show called, I'm concerned about me. This is my life. I care about me and what happens to me. This could be a little show you do. But realize that you don't really mean it. That's not really what you're concerned about. There was this story called The Stingy Month.

[68:04]

He was a painter, and he charged extremely high prices for his paintings. And people used to, like, he was so good, people would pay. A lot of the customers would complain and say, you're a monkey. You're so stingy. Why do you have for so much money? And he said, you want the painting or not? Yeah, OK. Anyway, he raised all this money. And after he raised a certain amount of money, he stopped painting. And what he used the money for was, I forgot exactly what he did, but he built a bridge. He did three things for the welfare of others with the money, and then he stopped paying. So if you have a job, and you're doing that job in order to help people, if that's really your goal, your goal is to help people by your work, and your motivation is to free yourself and all beings from suffering. If that's why you're working, then your work is not a waste of time. But if your work is basically in response to what's going to happen to me, and how am I going to take care of myself and my old age, and also next week, that's the reason why you're working.

[69:10]

Then your work is a waste of time vis-a-vis Enlightenment needs to be happiness. It's not, what do you call it, the work that you do for yourself is not apropos of freedom. Apropos means to the purpose. It's not to the purpose of freedom and happiness. But most people do do what they do for themselves and for their own family or for who they like. And who they like is usually who helps them. And that's what most people do. And that's called a waste of time, apropos of freedom and happiness. So you need to change your attitude, if not your job. And then people say, well, if I change my attitude, though, the people at work won't support me. Well, again, that's self-concern. Well, not yet. I'm worried about therapy.

[70:10]

Yeah, well, worried about, I mean, worried about starving, that worry will never end as long as you're concerned about yourself. You can starve now. You can starve next week. You can starve five years from now. You can starve in innumerable lifetimes. It's always possible to starve, and you can spend your whole life or countless lives worrying about starving. Or you can spend countless lives worrying about whether other people are starving, which is a joy. Okay, the lady with the red scarf. There is what? No, not necessarily, right. I have a question of skillful needs with respect to the answer.

[71:48]

It occurred to me Another option in not giving a pencil until you had meditated on why it would have been to give it and then sit with the feelings about it. And I wondered if those two choices occurred to you. It seems like they'd- I've done the other one many times. And it felt worse. Well, the other one's dangerous. The other one's really dangerous. The other one endangers the other person. You can hurt them. If you give something and then resent it, your resentment can hurt them. So by giving something... I mean, you know that you have some sort of resistance the second you do it, but you choose to do it because you want to pay attention. Just like you were saying, sitting... If you choose it because you want to meditate on your resentment, then you want to meditate on your resentment. That's different.

[72:50]

Then you give it, and then you find yourself resentful. If you say, I want to, I actually really want to meditate on my resentment, then you won't have resentment towards the person anymore. That will nullify the resentment. Well, then there's no resentment. So either way would have worked? If you actually say, I really want to meditate on my resentment, really, and I agree, it's a meditation topic. It's not something I believe in. I just want to feel that little ache. But if you want to meditate on resentment, you can't actually have the resentment. So if you want to do the meditation called meditating on the pain of giving it away, that's kind of paramount to wanting to give it away. I would say, that's fine to enjoy that. But what you're saying, actually, is what I got anyway. I went through that process of thinking about giving it away and feeling the feeling of the pain of giving it away.

[74:01]

I dealt with the resentment. I went through the resentment. I went through the pain of giving it away. I went through all that stuff. While I was going through that, the feeling of joy was growing. So I did what you're saying. But if you would have given it earlier, that's fine. But then you miss what I'm talking about. If you do it your way. That's what I don't understand. What you miss, I go through what you say. I go through that in my head. So I did what you're saying. But if you give it right away, you do not experience the joy of giving. If you go through that pain in your head, the shame of not wanting to give it, the pain of giving it away before you really want to, you go through that in your head. You go through all that. That's good. I did go through that. But then you get into the pain. How did it feel you're giving? And then you'd be great. So then when you give, you've gone through all those things and learned all those things about selfishness.

[75:05]

Plus, you had the joy, the joy of giving. It just occurred to me that you were lucky that your wife accepted it when you finally were ready. She's a great son master. I was lucky. I was lucky, but I wasn't really lucky. It's the practice that made that happen. Because of the practice, she was willing to accept it. No, no. The practice. It's not my practice. I couldn't have done that without her. She couldn't have done it without me. The practice is what made that happen, not luck. And this is also something that... Pardon? What do you mean by that? Well, listen. Somebody asked me about devotion. What about if you're devoted to someone and they don't return it? If you're devoted to get them to return it, it's not devotion. If you're devoted as a manipulation, it's not devotion.

[76:06]

It's another deal, another selfish deal. What about the pain that you feel when you're devoted to someone and they don't return it? That pain is because you're devoted to them, but there's still some self-concern. You still care whether they return it, but you're still devoted. And the more devoted you are, the more your selfish concern will hurt you. To those people that you're not devoted to that don't give you anything, it doesn't bother you that much. You're still selfish, but it doesn't bother you that much. But when you start giving to people, giving them your very best, and they don't give you anything back, it starts to hurt. It hurts because you're selfish. So the devotion surfaces and highlights your selfishness. Then if you don't run away from that being of the selfishness being accentuated by your devotion, then the devotion becomes not only something which is positive in itself, but becomes a way for you to bring that self truth right in front of you very clearly.

[77:12]

And he said, but it's so painful. He said, I hope it ends soon. He said, if you hope it ends soon, that makes it last longer. When the pain of your selfishness is happening there and you're patient with it and don't wish it would go away. Or if you wish it would go away, you let that feeling drop. And just be willing to suffer as long as is necessary in order for you to get the message that you have to let go of this. We will suffer from selfishness until we have it proved to us that it's better to drop it. Because we already know there's certain advantages to being selfish. There are some. There's something to it. It has a certain biological efficiency. It has served a purpose. We have to see that its purpose has been outlived and it's better to drop it now. But we will not see that unless it's demonstrated to us over and over and over. And being devoted to someone is a good way for it to show whether they return it or not.

[78:13]

Still will show. If they don't respond, if they don't return it, that makes it a little clearer. But... Anyway, so there's so many hands, you know, so many hands. I don't know. I think you are nice. Yeah. And then I think you and you. And then you and you and you. Yeah, I just want to question the way that it sounded like you were labeling all self-concern as selfishness. And I think there's a difference that there can be a self-concern which is healthy, a self-love that isn't selfish, a self-love that's based on self-respect and caring about yourself that enhances your love and compassion for other people. It's a lot of what Eric said in The Art of Loving, that you can't genuinely love other people if you don't love yourself? And if you're totally wiping out self-concern, how do you help other people? Yeah. Well, so, what I'm saying is that self-concern means that you're concerned with your individual self.

[79:22]

That's what you're concerned with. Okay? You're concerned with that. That's your concern. That's what I mean by self-concern. That's part of your concern. That's not your whole concern, but what I'm saying is you can be concerned with... Just a second. Self-concern, even if it's part of your concern, the self-concern is the problem. That's what I'm saying. The other part is not the problem. Self-concern is the problem. And you say you can't help others if you don't love yourself. I agree. Loving yourself is not self-concern. Well, I'm not sure I get that. How can you love yourself and not care about yourself or take care of your needs? You mean how can you take care of your needs without being concerned about yourself? It doesn't have to be selfish. Okay. How can you brush your teeth without being selfish, for example? Huh?

[80:22]

You want that okay? Brushing your teeth? Are you with me? Yeah. That's the example I would have used. We can go on to your example later. Brushing your teeth. Can you tell the difference between brushing your teeth just to brush your teeth like you brush somebody else's teeth and to brush your teeth the way you brush your own teeth? There's a difference. Brushing your teeth out of self-concern, you're scared. You're frightened. You're worried about them falling out. You're worried about the dentist bills. You're scary when you have self-concern. Also, if someone interrupts you while you're brushing your teeth, you may or may not like that. You may get angry at them if they interrupt you while you're brushing your teeth. If you brush your teeth out of self-concern, it's miserable. If you brush your teeth unselfishly, it's like brushing somebody else's teeth. There's a difference. The self-concern is the disease Respecting yourself is to take care of yourself in a way that makes you happy.

[81:27]

Loving yourself is to take care of yourself in a way that makes you happy. Loving yourself is not to take care of yourself in a way that makes you miserable. That's not love. Love is what makes you happy. And unless you learn how to love yourself in a way that makes you happy, you can't love others. You can manipulate them, you can coerce them, you can try to manipulate them, you can try to coerce them, you can try to possess them, you can try to all those things. That you can do without loving yourself. But to love somebody, you have to learn on yourself. You have to learn how it is that you take care of yourself that really makes you happy and healthy before you can learn how to do that with others. But that's not self-concern, that's not self-cleaning. Self-concern, self-concern, self-cleaning, selfishness means that you care about yourself first, more than other people.

[82:31]

That's what I mean by self-concern. And that's not part of love. That is antithetical to love. And we have to get rid of the self-concern, self-clinging, selfishness, in order to love ourselves. We cannot love ourselves as long as we are selfish. That's what I'm saying. OK. And I think you were next. Actually, I'm going to pass it back. OK. I think you were next. I think I'm having a hard time understanding the difference between what the First Lady was talking about, about saving money, which seems like there's a practical side to life. Uh-huh. And I think that practical side is an important thing, too.

[83:35]

Practical? What do you mean by practical? Well, it's practical in the sense that you have some base, and then from that base, then you can go out and do... A base? A base. Yeah. What is the base? Well, it would be a home base. I guess a home base. A home base? Not to me. Like a body, you mean? No, more than a body. A shelter. A shelter with a body. A shelter for the body? A shelter for the body, yeah. Yeah. Shelter like clothing? Clothing too? Like a house with clothes? Someplace, yeah. Cardboard? I guess it would be in a way like, you could say like your cushion. You're going to sit down and your cushion is sort of a base also that you could go back to. And from that base, then you can be effective. Effective at what? At saving other beings. So if you're making a little shelter, a little house, or a big house, maybe a palace, if you're making some kind of shelter where you can be during times when your body needs shelter, if you're making shelter like that, and the reason for making that

[84:55]

is so that you can save other beings, that's not a waste of time. Because that house is a house which is being built for all beings. It's not a base for me. It's a base for all beings. But to make a base for me so that then I can help other people is not apropos of helping other people. That doesn't apply. What I should do is first of all change my attitude and make the house for the other people. In other words, make the base in congruence with your goals from the beginning rather than I'll make the house for myself and then I'll go help other people. Include them in So Buddhism is about helping other people first, not first me, then them.

[85:57]

However, if you don't take care of yourself, you can't help others. So you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others. The question is, are you taking care of yourself for others or are you taking care of yourself really for yourself first? Is this care really coming from the fact that you prize yourself ahead of them? You're the only one who can tell. And most people, most of us, most of the time aren't checking in to see if this act is really coming from a concern for others or whether this act is coming from self-concern. All right. Let's see. One has to search one's own heart in order to see whether you're inhaling for the benefit of all beings, whether you're exhaling for the benefit of all beings, or whether you're inhaling for this person and exhaling for this person.

[87:09]

Do you inhale? Do you take in air into your body in order to benefit all beings? Is that the reason why you're taking air? Do you exhale in order to benefit all beings, primarily the trees? Relate the stuff you exhale. Is that what you're inhaling and exhaling for? If so, then that's that. Then the next one. The next inhale, the next exhale. Is this for the benefit of all other beings, all other beings? Or is it just to keep you going? Which is it? You check it out. I'm not saying you shouldn't be doing it. You shouldn't be breathing for your own life, for your own. I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm actually suggesting that maybe most people are primarily doing it that way. That most of the time I inhale for myself. And I'm genetically programmed to do that. However, that is a miserable life. That is a life of fear. That is a life of anxiety.

[88:11]

That kind of life. So that's why we are afraid and anxious all the time because we're mostly breathing for ourself. I'm not saying it shouldn't be that way. I'm saying I am that way. And I'm saying I shouldn't be that way. What I'm saying is that in order to protect all beings from this selfish person, I have to keep an eye on this selfish person. And I don't have to build a house to keep an eye on this person. Watch this person before I build a house. He's already here breathing for himself. Keep an eye on this guy. That's what I'm saying. Now, once this guy's under supervision, then build him a house so he can keep meditating. Now, I'm not telling you not to be a human being. I'm not telling you not to be selfish. I'm not telling you to be different from an ordinary human being. I'm saying, why don't you admit it? Before you talk about your job, before you talk about your house, before you talk about this stuff, why don't you just turn around and admit that you're a human being.

[89:21]

You're like the rest of us. You're a selfish one. And when you do that, You're starting to love yourself. That's the first loving act I'm suggesting. And the more you notice how selfish you are and how selfish you are and how selfish you are, the more you feel compassion for others. The more you feel compassion, the more you care, the more you notice how selfish you are, the more you care about them. The less you notice how selfish you are, the less you care about them. And the more your selfishness comes up and takes over this person, unsupervised, You're just a puppet of your selfishness. Get the selfishness out there, and you start to feel more and more love for people without thinking that they're kind of like little angels. Little angels, no, you're not selfish. No, no, you gave me that present just out of selfishness. That was no motivation. You weren't trying to get the teachers. Did I answer your question yet?

[90:22]

I think you were next. I don't know. What do you think? You selfish man. Just kidding. Not you. Not you. Yep, I agree. especially honoring it, maybe not immediately, maybe it sort of releases it right away, but I had to honor it quite a few times until it was released.

[91:32]

But finally, due to my devotion to my no, the no went away, went bye-bye. It went away. And then gradually the yes came. There was a space between when the no went away and when there wasn't yet a yes. Then the yes started growing and the yes got You know, I couldn't let the yes get to be full-size because otherwise, you know, pencils wouldn't be usable anymore. You know, we would move into a time when people don't write anymore. But anyway, I gave it, you know, I gave it up.

[92:02]

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