It is said in this practice lineage that all Buddha ancestors who correctly transmit the inconceivable Buddhadharma and realize supreme awakening have a very subtle and wondrous way. And this way is unmade, uncreated, unfabricated. Only Buddhas transmitted to Buddhas and its criterion, criterion of this subtle and wondrous Dharma is the self-fulfilling awareness, which is

[01:12]

the samadhi of the self as it receives and accepts its functioning. For playing about and living fully in this samadhi of the self receiving its function, the true gate is sitting upright, practicing Zen. This wondrous Dharma pervades the entire universe and is abundantly present in the lives of all

[02:22]

beings. There's no place it doesn't reach and all Buddhas dwell in this Dharma constantly, but they leave no trace of conceptualization or discriminating consciousness in this Dharma. All living beings also constantly function in and use and move about in this same wondrous Dharma, but this Dharma does not illuminate their perceptions. It illuminates the perceptions

[03:27]

of the Buddhas, but the Buddhas leave no conceptualization in it. There's no traces of mind in the Dharma, but the Dharma pervades mind. The criterion for judging the realization of this Dharma is this samadhi of the self being fulfilled, receiving its function, which is happening all the time. The self is constantly receiving its function every moment, and the question is whether there is complete absorption in this process wherein there is no discriminating

[04:37]

consciousness. Sentient beings are absorbed in a different kind of samadhi. They are absorbed samadhi of the self projecting itself, imposing itself on all things. So there are two kinds of meditation, and in that sense the word zazen is used in two ways. One way

[05:43]

is the zazen in terms of self-awareness, zazen practiced in the realm of the belief in an independent self. Selfish zazen, selfish meditation, self-improvement meditation. The other kind of zazen is selfless, is zazen which is just about developing the entire universe, and it is the awareness of the interdependent self. Usually, when Dogen Zenji speaks of zazen, the zazen he's talking about is the selfless

[07:08]

zazen. Maybe once or twice here and there he might have slipped and spoken of zazen from the point of view of the self which lives independent of all things, but usually he's celebrating this zazen which is this standard for realizing the incomparable dharma. The zazen which is totally unconfined and all-inclusive and unmade. This zazen from the time of the

[08:26]

sixth ancestor, Huineng, has been transmitted as something which originally has nothing to do with mind or self, but having nothing to do with mind or self does not mean it's the slightest bit different from mind or self, because if it were at all different from mind or self it would have something to do with mind or self. This unmade, unproduced practice, this unfabricatedness is just the nature of mind itself, but the nature of mind has nothing to do with mind. The nature of mind is the same as the nature of mountains and rivers and the entire land. The nature of

[09:31]

mountains is that mountains are mountains. The nature of mind is that mind is mind. Mind being is unmade. Mountains being mountain is unconstructed. That unconstructedness in stillness is the practice, the selfless practice of meditation. Just as mountains sit unselfishly, not trying to gain anything, that's the same samadhi as the Buddha ancestors. However, we must start the practice from where we are now and to whatever extent we

[10:44]

approach life from the point of view of the independent self. We must honestly admit that, and before we admit it we must be aware of it. We can't deny our selfishness and then practice unselfishly. So, if you hear about the unselfish practice which actually verifies the incomparable Buddha-Dharma,

[11:45]

you might want to practice that. This would be a perfectly selfish response, which is fine. Especially if you can admit, I just had a selfish response when I heard that and I'd like to do that practice. This is a self-centered response to those words. If you can completely admit that selfishness which arose when you heard of the incomparable efficacy of selfless practice, that admission is selfless practice. If that admission is complete. After work meeting yesterday, I walked down the stairs under the walkway and there was a person sitting on the steps.

[12:48]

And I asked something like, what are you doing, or how's it going, or what's happening? And he said, I just thought I should sit down here for a minute and see what's happening. And I said, that sounds like a good idea. So, whether selfishly or unselfishly, sit down and see what's happening. And if there's any selfishness going on, admit it. Of course, there's some problem because if we are selfish, we might not be able to see that there's selfishness going on. So, you might have to sit down for quite a while before we would be able to notice any selfishness.

[13:52]

It might be a really long time because even while we're sitting, checking out what's happening, we're also sitting selfishly protecting against seeing any selfishness. If you sit long enough, you'll get to a point where you will admit what you're up to, and that admission then will will open the gates to selfless practice. So, if you sit in this meditation hall, we have quite a few opportunities for that. And if you sit with any idea to gain something for yourself or improve your own meditation or

[15:03]

anything like that, you will not be kicked out. I personally won't support you being kicked out for sitting here selfishly, trying to get really concentrated and things like that. It's fine. Selfish beings are allowed to practice Zen. Selfish beings are encouraged to completely admit the full extent of their selfishness. And that is quite difficult because the selfishness is a very extensive situation for almost all living humans.

[16:05]

I don't think it's inconceivable how extensive it is. I think it is conceivable how extensive it is. But it's very thoroughgoing and highly developed, this selfishness. And in some Zen temples throughout the world, it is also allowed that selfish people can practice and continue to deny that they're selfish. That's also allowed for a while. It shouldn't be allowed indefinitely though, I don't think. I think eventually, if a person won't admit that he or she is selfish, they should be put in some kind of isolation area, kicked out of the monastery, because they wouldn't admit they're selfish after, I don't know,

[17:14]

depends on the person, how many years you'd let them deny that before telling them to go someplace else since they're perfect. Some people start out kind of like normal people and then they get perfect for a few years. And then they come out of it. Other people start perfect. Some people never get into it. But the unmade, unconstructed, unconfined realm of the samadhi, which is the standard for judging this supreme dharma,

[18:23]

is totally non-dual with selfishness. It is exactly the awareness of selfishness receiving its function as selfishness. But only a selfless practice can support and allow the full and precise admission of the current manifestation of selfishness. When that full and precise, not overdoing it or underdoing it,

[19:27]

admission of selfishness is realized, this is selflessness and this is the samadhi of the buddhas. This awareness of selfishness can be practiced in any situation because selfishness pervades all normal human situations. But in Zen monasteries we have a kind of special opportunity offered to observe it, which is clearly for no other purpose than to understand this self-fulfilling awareness. And that is the ceremony of sitting meditation.

[20:33]

And I've talked to you before about the wonderful word, the wonderful Chinese character, which can be translated as ceremony or deportment. It's a character which is composed half of meaning, half of the character is a character which means meaning, and the other half of the character is person. The ceremonies of sitting meditation is a place where the person and meaning are joined, interact. It's a place where the person and the true meaning of the practice interact. And just as we say in the dual mirror awareness that the meaning is not in the word,

[21:46]

the meaning is not in the ceremony we do here. The meaning is not in the formal posture which we assume and practice. The meaning is also not in the person who performs the ceremony in this traditional fashion. The meaning is not in the person or in the ceremony, in the form, but the meaning comes forth to meet the effort of the person who performs the ceremony. When the person is dancing with the form, the meaning comes forth. And the meaning comes forth in proportion to the effort of the person. If all of the person's energy comes to the ceremony, then all of the meaning

[22:56]

of the ceremony and the person and the person dancing with the ceremony, all the meaning comes and arrives at that place and that time. Without taking up residence in the form or in the person, it completely inundates the process without getting stuck in it. And the process then is liberated from itself, which liberates the ceremony and the person and everything else in the universe. However, if the person's energy only comes 99% forth, then the meaning only comes 99% forth.

[24:00]

The meaning is very kind, never outdoes us. It meets us, you know, point by point. 80% is met by 80%. Never more or less. However, if there's 1% missing, that slight variation is sufficient for fitting an entire universe of suffering. You can pack a whole universe of suffering in that 1% that's being withheld. Of course, you can fit the same universe of suffering in 2% or 10% or 90%. If you don't try at all, that still will leave plenty of space for the world of birth and death and misery and cruelty. But the slightest bit of holding out, you can get the whole world of suffering in there too. But when the effort, when the whole life comes forth,

[25:07]

or in the coming forth of the whole life, there is a coming forth of the full meaning, there is no discrepancy and birth and death can't get in. And birth and death are totally inundated and liberated too, without being touched, manipulated or tampered with. But there is no foothold for birth and death in this dharma, and no foothold means also no exclusion of birth and death, no meddling. So, the question is, simply, whether there is total devotion to this moment, to this action,

[26:09]

of when you sit, is that it? When you're selfish, is that it? When you're selfish, is there just selfishness? Or is actually, there a kind of like maneuvering around being selfish? I'm selfish, but you know, if selfishness doesn't work very well, I'm going to hold back a little bit and be a little unselfish too, just in case selfishness doesn't work. See, that's selfishness on top of selfishness. When you join your palms together, which we do quite frequently here, is that it? Is that it?

[27:18]

Or is there somebody there still waiting to see if this is going to work? Will they bow back? Will the people bow back? Will the Buddhas bow back? Let's see, let's check it out. No. That's not it. That's the joining the palms, plus somebody there joining the palms, somebody doing something for somebody, not just joining the palms. And it can be completely, I join my palms. That's fine. I, me, separate person, join my palms. Is that it? Anything left out? If nothing's left out, and totally just there doing that, even if dualistically,

[28:37]

that's the gate to the self-fulfilling awareness. That's how you enter the Samadhi of the self receiving its function. The meaning of the practice will come to meet you. However, once again, there's no trace of conceptualization that gets into this meeting session. There's no trace of discriminating consciousness, just to come into that meeting and the realization of the meaning and get to say, oh, there it is. No traces of consciousness gets into the gassho, which is just the gassho. Even though that illumination totally pervades the entire being, nothing gets in there. Which is another example of the selflessness, because you do that practice even though you

[29:48]

cannot know about it. This Dharma is not known by a person. This Dharma is realized by the person who is just the person, which is the Buddha. And also, just to get this on the record, although this practice is selfless and unmade and unfabricated, beyond causes and conditions, by the very fact that it is just whatever causes and conditions are happening, being themselves. That's all it is, and that's exactly the reason why it's beyond them. It's just what's being made, being made, and that's how it's unmade.

[30:53]

It's just whatever fabrication is happening, and that's how it's unfabricated. Although it's unfabricated, it can talk, it can walk, it can do the laundry. However, this walking and talking and washing comes from unconstructedness in total motionlessness. It's selfless, it's the Buddha. Being settled in this unconstructed stillness is very close at hand all the time. And yet, to give up worldly affairs,

[31:55]

in other words, to give up selfishness and to accept your selfishness, that's very difficult for us to do. It's very close and very difficult to attune exactly, but there it is. And we have three months to try to settle the selfish self on the self. The selfish self is quite nearby, it's not the slightest bit away from you, and yet how can you completely accept, settle, witness? How can you give away all your selfish concerns except for that settling and accepting, honestly accepting? How can you give away the selfishness and admit the selfishness?

[32:58]

That's what I will encourage us to look at. So so

[33:59]

And perhaps I should say also that there are many what people might call techniques techniques for taking up residence in selfish existence. Many techniques for grounding ourselves in the mud of selfishness. And these are so important that sometimes people think that they are actually the meditation practice of the Buddhas. And in a sense they are, because the Buddhas must do these grounding practices.

[35:15]

But in a sense these grounding practices are not the meditation which liberates a person, but they must be practiced in order to do the meditation practice which does liberate us. So there was a, I guess you could say, I don't know what you say, but anyway a person who was teaching at Green Gulch, I was going to say a Theravadan teacher or a teacher of Vipassana, who taught many techniques recently, and she said at one point in the midst of teaching many techniques that all these techniques are not the meditation practice. And yet we must

[36:30]

deal with and admit what we're doing. So it gets a little confusing sometimes because the actual meditation practice doesn't say that it's different from anything else. It includes all other… the liberating meditation practice does not push away or put down any activity of a human being. And yet there can be an understanding that a particular practice itself is not liberating. So the only kind of practice which we can do

[38:00]

is a practice which is not liberating. The only kind of practice we can do is a selfish practice, a self-centered practice. That's the only kind of practice we can do. And since we're doing selfish practices all day long, we need to, what do you call it, make a virtue of necessity. We necessarily must do selfish things all day long, so then we can… since it's necessary, we make a virtue of these selfish things and then there are opportunities for liberation if we simply let them be selfish practices and let those practices which we can do be done completely thoroughly.

[39:08]

Then they become points of departure for the liberating practice. But I think we need to understand, I think we need to understand, maybe not, but I'll just put this out and then say the opposite. I think we need to understand that what we're doing is selfish and be willing to wholeheartedly do something that's selfish and a waste of time. Now the other possibility is you might be able to wholeheartedly do something without knowing that it was selfish, even though what I just said, whatever you do must be self-centered, because in order for you to do something you have to think that way. You can't do anything without being self-centered. If you weren't

[40:14]

self-centered you wouldn't think that you could do anything. So all the things you think you can do are based on that delusion, because aside from that delusion you never do anything by yourself. In fact, it is not the liberating reality that people can do things alone. The liberating meditation is when you do the meditation that you don't do. You're doing the meditation which is given to you, which you receive, not the meditation you do. So all day long you and I do things. And so maybe it's possible for you to wholeheartedly do, you know, completely give yourself

[41:25]

to doing something without noticing that it's selfish. That might be possible, but I don't think so. I don't think you will give yourself wholeheartedly to anything until you notice that what it is is selfish. Because, this is my proposal, because since you're selfish you'll always hold back a little on whatever you're doing because you don't trust it. You just, it's too, it would be unselfish and foolish from the self-centered point of view to give yourself completely to anything. It just doesn't make sense. And you're smart. You would not make that mistake. So you always hold back a little on every selfish thing you do. You selfishly hold back on your selfishness because you know any particular selfish activity might not be beneficial to you. And you're right. So it's wise of you to hold back some of your selfishness to get ready to make a change in case it doesn't work out for you. To take everything and put it into something selfish would not be a good idea

[42:36]

for you. But if you know what you're up to is selfish, then you might be able to notice since I'm doing this selfish thing and this selfish thing and this selfish thing, I notice I also hold back and I'm ready to play some other way in case it doesn't work out. Once you are aware of what you're up to, then you say, oh look, since this is what I'm up to, I think what I have to do now is do this kind of foolish thing. Of doing it completely. Just you know maybe for a second in the middle of a session. Just for a second or maybe five seconds just like do this foolish thing of like doing any selfish act or whatever anyway and just give myself entirely to it plus all my other you know holds out. Just toss it all in there. I don't think we'll do that unless we notice that we don't usually do that.

[43:37]

That we're always playing the odds. This is a pretty good selfish thing but I don't, you never can be sure. Just be completely selfish. Which means just simply admit that you are. That is unselfish. That is called sitting upright and that's the gate to the awareness of the self receiving its function. Okay. So maybe you understand that. I have no idea. But I don't mind going over it again and again. If you have any questions now before we conclude this morning's event here,

[44:45]

Dharma event. Yes. The issue arose in my mind of the practice of having compassion for yourself. Yes. Yes. The practice of being compassionate with yourself and being kind with yourself. Yes okay. That's part of this. In order to pull this off of admitting your selfishness thoroughly you have to be really kind about this. If there's some kind of roughness and meanness in the situation the self is going to say no I don't trust this. But there's really a feeling of you know this is actually the best thing for you. This is actually not going to hurt yourself at all. This is going to be a good deal to yourself. This is going to be the nicest thing you ever did for

[45:47]

yourself. Because not only are you going to get to have yourself after it's all over as usual but yourself is going to be totally unburdened and free. Totally happy and be this great thing which won't even be concerned for how great everybody's going to think you are. And they will. And you don't care. You're going to be free of doing things to get people's approval. You're going to be free of presenting yourself in deceptive ways so that people will like you. You're going to be free of hiding how selfish you are because people might punish you if they knew. You're going to be free of all that plus still be able to be selfish. It's just that you'll be selfish and completely admitting it moment by moment. Which is a great way. That's the happy way to be selfish. It's honestly selfish. I want this. I want that. You know that kind of thing.

[46:47]

Give me the pickles. I want the pickles. I want my hat. Like what is that gorilla you know. What's your name? Coco? People come and interview her. They say good morning Coco. She says good morning. Can I have your purse? Nicely. Once you're this way, once you're free of selfishness, you can be selfish nicely. You know nicely. Really nicely. Not deceptively. Kind of like well you know I'm going to be unselfish now right. And then unconsciously you're totally cruel because you don't admit that you're selfish. Now you can just say hey good morning. I want you to know something about myself. I'm selfish and arrogant. Just want you to know that right off. Okay now what should we do? Can I have your purse? What do you have inside? Oh a barrette. Can I wear it?

[47:54]

This is called, this is not, you don't you know, you don't want the purse for the benefit of all beings. You want the purse to play with. That's what you want the purse for. And just that's where you're at. It's like you know that's where you're at. No problem. When I first came to Zen Center, Katagiri Roshi told a story about the Zen master who after the war you know Japanese people were hungry. Second world war. Because one Zen master made friends with this, I think it was a U.S. admiral or something. The admiral came to see the Zen master and every time he came to see Zen master, Zen master say did you bring me some cakes? You know, as a new Zen student I thought that was kind of weird. Zen master say can I have my cakes now? All the more I thought it was strange if he's hungry. You know, not if he was like you know filled with a room you know like piled to the sky with cakes and then the admiral came and said give me my cakes so I could see it. But if he's just like

[48:57]

hungry you know post-war Zen master being so concerned with these cakes, I thought weird you know. But now I think that's really where you know Zen master, hungry Zen master give me the cakes please quick. But they know they're selfish. They don't think oh this is some you know great thing. They just give me the cakes please. You didn't bring them for me right? This kind of thing. You get that you get that way by being kind to yourself. If you're not kind to yourself, yourself is going to say oh no way. We're not going to spill the beans. Not going to tell other people. We're not going to tell you. You're not going to find out anything about how selfish you are unless you're kind to yourself. You got all kinds of ways to not show yourself any stuff that you might spill over which might not be good for you. If you can't be trusted with your lies, you won't know about them. But if you can be trusted with your lies, if all the lies about

[49:59]

yourself you would be kind about, then you can tell you, then you can become aware of your lies. And now that but then you can tell other people when it's relevant like you know right now I want this. Not a lie anymore. It was a lie before you were told. Now you're told it's not just a simple fact. No big deal. Ordinary human being. Kindness and gentleness with yourself about this is... I mean you know the two together, the kindness and the honesty. You can't have one without the other. You can't have one without the other. Except you know a very you know low level of development I guess you could have that could be separated. You could have a little bit of honesty without being kind or a little bit kind, tiny bit kind without being honest. But what's to be kind about if there's nothing except about what's honestly the situation right? To be kind about what's not happening isn't really kind. Yeah I'll be nice to you as long as you don't tell me who you are.

[51:03]

Just lie to me about who you are and I'll be real nice to you. Tell me you're great this and great that and you know what a wonderful Zen student. Everybody will be nice to you. You know that's not kindness that's just you know more selfishness. But when to actually have some selfishness revealed and be kind about that that would cause more selfishness to be revealed. If you basically could tell yourself no matter how selfish you turn out to be I'll hang in there with you. Then little by little it'll come out. Not all at once. You know we don't trust this. Try a little bit. Okay that worked. Try a little bit more. Okay little by little it'll all come out. Anything else? Yes? How does generosity in a true sense, false generosity develop? Well the first thing that comes to mind is that again

[52:09]

to let yourself be the way you are is generosity. To let your breakfast be your breakfast is generosity. Not to let your breakfast be your breakfast because somebody's going to like come over and whisper in your ear that you're enlightened but just let things be the way they are with no gaining idea. That's generosity. That's true giving and there's no gain in that or loss. You look like you that didn't hit the... Well I'm thinking specifically of giving to another. Yes? And I'm not getting... Is it possible?

[53:16]

Is it possible to give to another in a non-gaining way? It is possible and what I'm suggesting to you is that part of giving to another in a non-gaining way is to be aware of any selfish motivation that might come up which almost always comes up in every... Again every time you do something if you do the thing of giving there is self-centeredness in that action already. It's already there. As soon as you think in terms of you give to another if you actually believe that's happening then you believe you exist independent of the other. So already this is a diluted process. Okay? That's what I'm saying. If you admit the selfishness that's involved in that act of giving even if you don't get into like I want to get something back which is probably there too because it's how you're going to extract that from this self-centered system but even if you don't see that you can at least see I think I'm separate. You can admit that

[54:22]

and let that be. That is the generosity of the situation and that will be the great joy of this little theater piece of you pretending to be an independent person from this other person. It's like a little theater thing. I'm going to be me now and you're going to be you and I'm going to give you this thing. A little game we're going to play and I believe this game. Then you might also notice perhaps not necessarily you're trying to get something from it as a result of that. But the zazen of the situation or the true generosity is just what's happening. So if there is any self-centeredness if there is any gaining thing going on the fact that that's that way and letting it be that way and honestly admitting that, that's giving and that's the great joy and that's giving which is liberation. But are you present enough to notice the selfishness involved in your acts of charity

[55:35]

and generosity? So that's why acts of charity and generosity are good to do because they actually bring to light this I'm doing that and also I'm doing that this to gain this thing for me. I'm doing this to see the look on my grandchildren's face. I'm doing this for the love that they'll have for me afterwards. Oh grandpa you're the greatest all that kind of stuff. That's what I'm doing this for. And not being cruel to myself and saying you bad grandpa you selfish grandpa trying to manipulate these kids by giving them presents. No just here's selfish grandpa coming in with all these great presents watching these kids you know manipulating these kids that's what's happening I'm totally there admitting this. And it's not this selfish manipulation of people that's the giving. That is like the ground in which the actual

[56:40]

practice of giving happens. You don't have to bring in the presents to manipulate things you can also like think of you know giving the Tassajara National Forest away to a friend. Say here you own the forest now just think of that and you can do that and realize there's selfishness in there and the admission of the selfishness and letting yourself be a selfish person and letting what you give be what it is and letting the person you're giving letting it all be that's the actual giving. That's the freedom from selfishness but it comes from admitting the selfishness. We have to start where we are and until further notice it looks like where we are is we are in the Samadhi you know we're absorbed in this belief in self. We're naturally you know

[57:43]

yogis of self-centeredness. People don't you know they don't people want to practice concentration they can't get concentrated you know they're totally concentrated on their self-concern including they're totally concentrated on trying to get to be able to do this Zen meditation or whatever. People are concentrated absorbed in self-concern deeply I mean not just up in the head you know across the intellectual realm in the tissue in your tissue you're a yogi of self-centeredness as far as I can tell. I mean some people have gotten you know beyond that so that they have no problem drinking gallons of other people's saliva but most people have not got to that point and the people who can do that are people who have faced that you know that interface who have you know faced the visceral cellular

[58:51]

repulsion of the ungoverned other. The people who have faced that and embraced that got close to that that selfishness there they can be free of this but they got there by admitting that they were selfish humans. I haven't heard of any that have got there without going down to the ground of admitting normal human selfishness. If you just admit your great yogic powers of selfishness you will become harmless and a great beneficence in the cosmos but it's not easy to thoroughly admit what you're up to. It's not easy to catch up with this fantastic selfish yogi but it's possible it's possible to give with selflessness if you can admit how selfishly you give everything

[59:58]

and give up the joy of going around thinking that you you know make these donations selflessly. Give up that joy. It doesn't mean it goes away you still feel it. Still feel it. Watch the little faces you still feel it but you give it up but you don't throw it away you just give it up. You give it up in the process of admitting what you're actually up to. So this way is actually a really good deal you get your cake and you can eat it too in this case. The other way you just you just got to eat the cake or get the cake you couldn't have got to choose this way you get both. But you have to tell the truth about what you're up to and for starters you can admit it you know once in a while but in order to go really deep and make sure it's 100% you kind of have to do it I think pretty much you know non-stop because if you take breaks then maybe you know maybe

[61:03]

you're taking a break. If you take breaks sometimes then maybe you're taking a break all the time. So it's hard to like really get into it and just be the evil one walking around you know. Anything else now? Kitchen goes at 10 right? More or less? It's 10 more or less.

[61:31]

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