What was the title of the course again, as it's published? Four what? Four Modes of Action. Four Modes of Action. Bodhisattvas, did it say Bodhisattva's Four Modes of Action? Bodhisattva's Four Modes of Action. Yeah. That's one way to say it. Another way is Four Methods of Guidance or Four Modes of Guidance. Another way is Four Ways of Embracing. And another way would be Four Integrative or Four Ways of Integration. So ordinary people in an unenlightened state are, you know, if you look at them as a person, are not necessarily integrated, or all the different dimensions of the person are not necessarily embracing each other, and also ordinary people who have not fully

[01:24]

awakened feel somewhat unintegrated with other beings and do not necessarily feel that they are embracing all beings or being embraced by all beings. The activity of a bodhisattva in a sense, or the bodhisattva activity in a sense is basically to integrate all beings, or to realize the integration and the mutual embracing and sustaining of all beings. That's the bodhisattva activity, is to realize It isn't exactly to make it that way. That's the way it actually already is.

[02:26]

But many beings who live in this sphere of embracing and sustaining among all beings do not see it that way. And we innately do not see it that way. This creates a sense of separation or a wall or a split between the two. between beings and within beings. So the bodhisattva activity is to integrate these different beings to overcome and to heal the split among them and within them. And in one sense, guidance is okay as a translation of this term. It's the activity which guides beings to integrate with each other, but it's also the way of guiding, of practicing that guides you into integrating.

[03:30]

So it's both the way we can help each other and guide others, but it's also the way we ourself are transformed from a split being to an integrated being. And it's also the way our society human and non-human society goes from being split to mutually embracing and sustaining. What does non-human society mean? Animals, trees, cockroaches, and even non-living beings are integrated into this So the first method, which we talked about last time, was the method or the mode of integration or the mode of embracing called giving, or the original Sanskrit word is dana.

[04:41]

The practice of giving or offering or charity or generosity or dana, this practice is intended to realize complete integration. But I also suggested that Even before we realize complete integration, we frame the practice of realizing integration in an imagination of integration. So I said to someone the other day who was telling me about some problems he was having in his meditation practice, and I said, Who do you practice with? And he said, I practice alone."

[05:49]

And he literally meant that he practiced meditation in his own house by himself. He wasn't coming to Zen Center to sit anymore, or very seldom. And so we talked for a while, and towards the end of the conversation I said, I would recommend to you that you think about your practice, not that you're practicing alone. I think a lot of the difficulties that you're having facing your experience in meditation is because this difficult stuff is coming up in your life and it's like you alone and this difficult stuff. And I don't think you need to expect that you, all by yourself, can face all the difficult things that are coming up in your life. And he had some difficult stuff coming up. which I think anybody would have some difficulty facing by himself.

[06:54]

I said, I would suggest that when you start to sit, you actually invite or you invoke the presence of all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas to join you in your practice, and also that you intend to do the practice, or you tend to give your life to the practice of the Buddha, to give your life to the practice of Buddha, or give your life to the practice of a Buddha. And the practice of a Buddha is to practice in the company of all beings. The Buddhas do not practice by themselves. Even if nobody is visually around or even if people are like six blocks away or forty blocks away or six inches away, the Buddhas do not think about practicing by themselves. The Buddhas, the way they see it is that they're practicing to get in the company of all beings and all Buddhas.

[08:03]

So I suggested that he think about his practice that way. If I do that, it helps me face difficult things. In fact, the facing of difficult things, not so much my facing the difficult things, but the facing of difficult things that happens where I am, the facing of difficult things that happen where I am, in the company of all beings happens. Difficult things are faced when everybody's there together. Difficult things are faced and can be faced. That's the context. Now that's the context which the practice of giving was then finally realized. But as you start to practice giving, as you start to give yourself to giving, you can start by Imagining the context which you will realize through the practice. You don't have to wait until afterwards before you can start seeing the world that way.

[09:12]

You can start seeing the world that way and then start the practice. And the other thing I emphasized last week, which also came up, someone in this class actually asked me this week, he said, I don't know what you expect of me. or what your expectations of me are. And I said, I really don't have expectations of you. And if I do, that's kind of like my problems. Don't worry about them. What I do have is I have desires about you. I want things of you. I want you to be happy. I want you to be enlightened. I want you to be fearless. I want you to be diligent. I want you to be kind. I want you to be generous. I really do want that, but I do not expect it. And if I do, I just consider that a personal slip on my part, not yours.

[10:15]

It's not your problem. Well, it is sort of a problem for you if I expect things of you. And I don't want to give you that problem. And it might be a problem for you that I want things of you and for you, too. That might be a problem for you, too. But that's a problem I think you should live with because it's a fact. And I do want things, and I'm not going to stop wanting things. But I can get over expecting things of you, and I pretty much have. It's been difficult, but I pretty much got over it. People have sort of beaten it out of me. I really, you know, I don't want anything less than the highest possible realization of everybody.

[11:17]

I have no problem of wanting the very best for everybody. I really don't have a problem of wanting that, but I don't expect it. So I mentioned it in the first class, and I mentioned it in the last class, too. I would like you to let me know if you're going to miss a class. That's something I want, but not something I expect. I don't expect you to let me know if you're going to miss a class, but I want it. And I told you, but I didn't tell you to get it. I told you as a gift to you to let you know something about me. And so now you know. And I'm still that way this week. Then people come up to me after class last week and told me that they're going to miss class. And you know, believe it or not, it was a little bit of a surprise in each case.

[12:22]

And today, too, some people came and told me that they're going to miss class. And it wasn't so much a surprise that they're missing class. It was a surprise that they came and told me. It was a little bit of a surprise that they're missing class. See, I don't want you to miss class. And I don't expect you to miss class. But I don't expect you to come to class either. But when I ask you for something and then you give it to me, it's a surprise because I didn't expect you to give me what I asked for. So all these people giving me these gifts of telling me that they're going to miss class, each one was a little bit of a surprise, which I was happy to experience. And not only was it a surprise, which was a happy experience and a nice gift, but I had the feeling like almost everybody that told me that was enjoying telling me that it was fun for them, that it was kind of like they felt that they were being generous a little bit.

[13:27]

It's a small gift that they gave me because they knew I asked for it and they gave it to me. And there's another little element in here which I just... Actually, it's a little big element, and that is that some people, when they get into this kind of thing, they... I've heard the word infantilize used, you know, that you're going to the teacher and telling the teacher that, you know, you're thinking of not coming to class next week. It's a little bit like a kid, you know, telling daddy or mommy or something. There is that element, I suppose. I don't reject that idea. Or that you'd feel that way. I don't reject that you might feel that way. But there's another side to the story from my experience. And one of the sides of the story is that I heard from Gregory Bateson that in Bali, I think Bali, but maybe some other place in Southeast Asia, the gods of the people are children.

[14:29]

And when you have a divine vision or a divine visitation, it's like what you hear is, Daddy. Daddy, would you come over here? It's like that's the way the gods talk to and the goddesses talk to. Mommy. Hi. It's not the big old people upstairs, it's like the little fresh children who are like divinely visiting you. And then also I have the experience of my teachers, particularly my first Zen teacher, Suzuki Roshi, he would let me know when he wasn't going to be places. And I often felt like, well, what's the teacher doing telling the young priest what he's doing? He actually knew I was responsible now. I was in a position where I was responsible to know where people were and stuff. So when he wasn't around, he would tell me what he was doing. And he would even kind of tell me the reasons. And I thought I was surprised. But I realized that it's not because you feel like a little kid that you tell somebody what you're doing.

[15:36]

It's because you feel connected. Or you could be with your little kid. But in his case, it wasn't that he was feeling like a little kid. He just realized his relationship with me and my responsibilities, and then he acted that way. So anyway, I don't expect, but I ask for, and then I see what happens. And I give my request as a gift, and I receive gifts, but I don't expect to receive them. Giving means non-greed. Non-greed means not to covet. Not to covet means not to curry favor.

[16:42]

And again, I think I should say one more time, I think it's fine to do things to please people. I mean, or at least to do wholesome things to please people. And I think it's fine to want people to like us. I think Buddhas like people to like them. Actually, Buddhas want people to like them because liking a Buddha is good for people. But it's not selfish to want people... It doesn't have to be selfish that you want people to like you. It's actually healthy to want people to like you, to want everybody to like you on some schedule, however, is not healthy. Like, I want everybody to like me 10 minutes from now. That's like, it sets up an expectation. And to want to do things for people that please them is fine, but to do things to people to please them so that they'll like you, that's the expectation.

[17:51]

And for me to ask you to inform me about something, for me to say I want it and to ask you for it, to get you to like me, rather than just, I told you what I want, that's like expectation. And that, I really know it's hard for us to get over that, but that's the part which I think we can actually learn to get over. To do things for people that they very well might like very much, but not so that they'll like us, even though we want them to like us. currying favor no not currying favor you do nice things for people compliment people but not to get them to favor you you're doing great and you mean it when you say that and you also mean to have it be a gift and you mean it to please the person and encourage the person but even maybe before you mean it to encourage them and please them you just simply

[19:03]

feel that way, and you just simply give that information. But not to curry favor, not to get something. And that's excessive, unhealthy, something we can try to get over. However, once again, Stephen mentioned, and I think It's good to mention that if we look carefully when we're giving things to people, when we're trying to give someone something that would please them, if you look carefully, some people might say almost always, or quite frequently, or maybe occasionally, but almost always, there is some expectation, there is some sense of getting a reward. So we really have to keep our eye while we're doing these good things for people, while we're being generous, and even while we're giving the basic thing, it's who we are, moment by moment to everybody we meet.

[20:05]

As we give our presence as a gift, watch out, keep track of how we're trying to get some return on that. It's not the end of the world that we're trying to get a return, because we have a practice for that, which is called awareness, that we're trying to get some return And by revealing and disclosing that awareness in the presence of everybody, we will get over it. We can get over it. But we have to keep emphasizing doing good, practicing giving, period. Well, you can say, why aren't you practicing that in order to realize your connection with all beings? Yes. That's not a return exactly. It's more like a realization of the way it already is. You give to people to get over the illusion that they're separate from you. You're not trying to get non-separation.

[21:06]

You're trying to realize. You're trying to wake up. But again, you have to be careful of not making that into an expectation either. You want it, but you're not trying to manipulate it. So anyway, even if you govern the four continents well, very skillfully and so on, even if you're a great sovereign governing the whole world, you should always convey the correct teachings with non-greed. To give... Oh no, it is to give away unneeded belongings to someone you don't know. Or to offer flowers on a distant mountain to the Tathagata, to the Buddha. Or again, to offer treasures you had in a former life to sentient beings. And if you don't like former life, you can just offer things you had when you were a kid.

[22:12]

Like you can offer all your toys, which you don't know where they are anymore, but you can still offer them to other people and to other children. I had some really neat toys when I was a kid. They used to make, like, trucks for boys that were, like, they were made of metal, you know, and you could, like, sit on them. You know, have you heard of Tonka toys? Tonka is made in a town called Minnetonka, which is in the suburbs of Minneapolis, so I grew up with Tonka toys. Tonka toys were originally made out of metal. All those trucks were actually metal. And they were, I'm not saying nothing against the one they make now, but they had a certain kind of like earthy quality because they were made of metal. And I would like to give all those toys to my grandson and to your grandchildren. Although when I'm around, I still have that feeling I wish to do that.

[23:17]

Whether it is teachings or material, each gift had its own value and is worth giving. Even if the gift is not yours, there is no reason to keep from giving it. Now, that doesn't mean that you take things from people and give it to other people without their permission. but you might actually see somebody who has something nice and try to get that person to give it to somebody. In that way you would be participating in that gift. But you can also just, the main thing is that you wish to give it. I wish to give the things of some people to other people. If I sincerely wished to give your things to other people. That is giving. And the next paragraph is a very nice one, I think.

[24:30]

It says, when you leave the way, and that means the way of giving, but also the Buddha way or the Bodhisattva way, when you leave the way to the way, you attain the way. Another translation is when you entrust the way to the way, you attain the way. At the time of attaining the way, the way is always left to the way. At the time of attaining the way, the way is always entrusted to the way. One time I said this in the zendo at Tatsahara, and one of the experienced monks walked out of the zendo when I said, when you leave the way to the way, you attain the way.

[25:41]

So he walked out of the zendo. I thought what he meant by that was, okay, I'll leave the way to the way. And by leaving the zendo, I'm not staying in the zendo to make the way happening. I'm going to leave the way to the way. See you later. And I maintain in the way. He didn't say that, but somehow the way he was walking made me feel that's what he meant. And I thought, can't fault him on that. That's right. You can all stop practicing in a sense in the way that you're practicing the way. You can all stop practicing that way. And if that's the way you're practicing, which he was practicing that way, you can leave the zendo. You can stop that. But it isn't just that. It's that you leave the zendo as an expression of, I just left the way to the way and attained the way. Yippee! I just entrusted the way to the way.

[26:45]

And it also says, when the way, when you attain the way, there is always entrusting the way to the way. Strong statement. That when you actually attain the way, what's actually happening there is leaving the Buddha way to the Buddha way. Another way to say this is, at the time of attaining the way, it is giving. And the next line says, you give yourself to yourself. When treasures are left just as treasures, treasures become giving. That's one way to translate it. Another way to translate it is when material treasures are left just as material treasures, the material treasures become giving.

[28:01]

Another translation would be when goods are left as goods, goods become giving. They could say leaving goods just as goods is giving. Another way to say it, I would say that too, but it's even to say that leaving goods as goods or entrusting goods to goods, goods become giving. I usually use the example of breakfast because it's the first meal of the day.

[29:05]

To let your breakfast be your breakfast, breakfast becomes giving. To leave breakfast to breakfast, breakfast becomes giving. And you could say the actual food becomes giving, but also the activity of, you know, the breakfast event becomes an event of giving when you leave breakfast to be breakfast. Every day you have breakfast, actually. I mean, I didn't say do, but anyway, every time you have breakfast, in fact, breakfast is breakfast. But when you leave and trust breakfast to breakfast, then your breakfast thing becomes giving. It's not you doing breakfast or not doing breakfast. It's you leaving breakfast to be breakfast and then giving is realized.

[30:09]

And then it goes on to basically the same thing again. And the example now is yourself. You give yourself to yourself and others to others. When you leave yourself to yourself, you attain yourself. When you leave others to others, when you let others be others, when you entrust others to others, then others become giving. The event of others becomes giving. And I said last week, this is another way to say it, the practice of giving Giving is the practice of Dharma for the sake of Dharma. Giving is the practice of breakfast for the sake of breakfast. Giving is the practice of you for the sake of you. It's to give things to themselves, to let things be themselves. Of course, they already are.

[31:12]

But do you practice the way things already are? When you do practice the way they already are, you're practicing giving. Somehow we have to, like, realize the way they are. It isn't enough that things are the way they are. We have to realize it. They are, of course, everything is the way it is, but do we realize it? And without practicing giving, we do not realize it. We have to put our body and mind into the way things are, otherwise we don't realize it, even though, of course, we're already included. So those first three sentences there in that paragraph I think are really important and wonderful to remember at breakfast time. And you can do it to the parts of the breakfast too.

[32:13]

To let your cereal, to leave your cereal to the cereal, the cereal becomes giving. And also you give the cereal the gift of letting it be part of the Buddha way. That's why even non-living things are included through this practice. Yes? Can I ask a question? Is this connected with imputation, when you do not impute anything on the breakfast? I think in this particular case of this practice of giving, you leave the imputation of breakfast to the imputation of breakfast, and then the imputation of breakfast becomes giving.

[33:18]

So this giving practice is... first practice. It's the first of the four, and it's basically the first bodhisattva practice. So eventually we're going to get over it, believing imputations upon things are the things. But even while you still imagine that breakfast is what you think it is, You can still let the breakfast the way you think it is. You can leave that breakfast to that breakfast. And then suddenly breakfast becomes the bodhisattva practice of giving. It becomes the embracing activity of the bodhisattva. The enlightened person would practice the same way. And when you practice that way, you're not doing the bodhisattva. You're doing the practice of a bodhisattva when you have breakfast that way. including whatever level of understanding you have of your breakfast. You don't have to have any other understanding than the one you've got right now.

[34:23]

Yes, Paul? Seeing things the way they are is an act of giving. It's given to whom? What? Well, again, this giving, it's under the rubric of an embracing activity, of an integrating activity. Okay? So the giving is, you know, the deepest, the most important aspect of giving is that it becomes an enactment of embracing. So it may look like you give to me, but really what it's about is to realize how we're embracing each other. So like I said last week, if you give a monk a gift, he also gives you a gift by receiving it from you. To receive a gift from somebody is a gift. So whether you're giving or receiving,

[35:40]

If you give it with this attitude, both people, both sides are giving, and the bilaterality of it is really the deeper meaning of the giving. So is the breakfast giving itself? Is the breakfast giving itself to me? Is the breakfast giving itself? Yeah, the breakfast is giving itself, yes. this understanding of the breakfast giving itself integrates you in the breakfast. Because somehow the breakfast, the full realization of the breakfast being giving comes from you letting the breakfast be the breakfast. If you won't let the breakfast be the breakfast, then somehow you magically interfere with the breakfast being giving. And the breakfast is giving, plus the breakfast gives itself to you. But it gives itself to you before you even touch the food, when you let the breakfast food be the breakfast food.

[36:49]

It's already, giving has already happened before you touch the food, before you eat the food. The breakfast becomes giving, and also it becomes giving to you, but also you make the breakfast turn into the Buddha way. So you also give something to the breakfast because of your attitude towards the breakfast. And the breakfast says, thanks, Paul. Maria? . Well, possibility number one, is it because you're thinking it's something other than what it is, did you say? Or wishing it was something else. Yeah. Right.

[37:51]

Yeah, in other words, being greedy and wanting eggs to be something other than eggs, which is really excessive, that greed interferes with the giving, interferes with letting... The greed interferes with the giving, and in this case, the greed interferes with the giving by not letting the breakfast be the breakfast. Of course, the breakfast really is giving itself to you, and you really are integrated with the breakfast, but because of greed, the greed creates a block. It's not real, but it feels like there's no giving going on. Another thing I like in this section is it says, it doesn't say this, I'm going to say it this way.

[39:09]

It is difficult for the mind of sentient beings to change. Of course, the mind is changing all the time, but I think what that means is it's difficult for the mind of sentient beings to change in some fundamental way. It's difficult for it to change. Another way it's translated is that the mind of sentient beings is difficult to change. That sort of sounds like something's trying to change the mind of sentient beings, which is okay, but... So in some sense, bodhisattvas are trying to change the mind of sentient beings so that they can get over their sense of separation from each other. But it's difficult to change them. What is difficult is to transform... the mind of sentient beings. And then Dogen says, this giving, this giving is to intend.

[40:16]

Okay, we're in the context of what's difficult. That's the situation. That's the setup. What's difficult? To transform the mind of living beings. Okay? Now, this giving is to intend this giving is to intend from the first tiny little thing that you give which means and when you give even some small things the transformation starts and again when I give or when you give Even some small thing, when you really give in this way, the transformation starts. And the transformation starts in both sides. When I start giving as even a small thing, I start to be transformed. And you start to be transformed if you're the recipient. And our relationship starts to be transformed.

[41:19]

I start to change, you start to change, and the integration starts. This giving is to intend from this first little thing we give all the way up to the transformation into the attainment of supreme enlightenment. This giving is to, in the small ways, giving in small ways, it creates small beginning transformations, but also at the same time learn to remember that this giving is going to go on and even transform me and you and our relationship into supreme enlightenment that's the kind of giving this is if you leave out the second part that's fine it's a different kind of giving it's still good to give to cause a little bit of transformation

[42:26]

But I think to complete the picture, the other side should be mentioned too. And when the other side is mentioned, then you understand the type of transformation that starts with the littlest gift. It's not just any old transformation. It's a transformation along this path to realizing complete integration among all beings. It's that type of transformation that's being started by the first, tiniest gift. So he says, in the beginning, the mind... In the beginning, it... It, meaning the transformation of mind, must be done by giving. Therefore, the first of the bodhisattva practices is giving. It's hard to change people. The first practice is giving. And I mentioned last week... That last Sunday we had a ceremony, a Green Galt tour, a special ceremony which we only do once a year.

[43:31]

It could be done more than that, but it's a ceremony particularly for that aspect of the world of beings which is really closed down and almost hasn't started to transform at all towards integration and embracing or being embraced. It's a ceremony directed towards that aspect of ourselves or others which is like really tight, really closed and hasn't even started to open up. It's like the aspect of ourselves or beings that are like heavily, really heavily and deeply feeling separated and blocked. there's not even a little bit of opening to get any nutrition from the rest of the world and we have special ceremony to try to open a little bit to get them to open a little to find something that they could receive to try to like give them something that they could go okay i can let that in to start opening them up to the possibility of being embraced and embracing

[44:49]

And the thing we do, the way we do that is simply by giving. We try to give music, we give teachings, and we give food. And we give it in a gentle way. Just take a little bit, just a little bit. Come on, open up. The fastest way to a being's heart is through the stomach, as they say. to open the throat a little bit. So the hungry ghosts are beings which are very hungry. They have very thin necks. They can't get anything in. So we try to open their throats. Come on, open up a little bit. Just a little bit. Suzuki Roshi's son was a wonderful Zen priest. His name was Hoitsu Suzuki Roshi. And he had this habit of smoking cigarettes.

[45:54]

A lot of Japanese Soto Zen priests smoke cigarettes. I don't know why they do that, but they do. And when you think, when you smoke cigarettes, not everybody, of course, but when you smoke cigarettes, I guess whatever you're trying to get by that process, it has a tendency to make you get, make your throat get smaller. It starts to make you, it makes it harder and harder for you to get... To a, I don't know what the word is, but an air, vis-a-vis air, you turn into a hungry ghost. You want, everybody wants, living beings want, at least living humans want air. But by smoking, you make yourself unable to be nourished by the air all around you. And he got to that point where he couldn't talk. And then he stopped smoking, but then the asthma kicked in. So he had quit smoking, but there he was. He was by himself in his temple. And it closed.

[47:00]

It closed, you know. The throat closed. And he passed out. And while he was passed out, he heard someone say, What did she say? She said... I don't know what she said exactly, but I think she said... I think the voice said, Ho-chan, or something like that. His name was Ho-itsu, or Ho-ichi was his name. I think he heard, Ho-chan, Ho-chan. And it was his mother's voice. And she said, ho-chan, ho-chan, gambatte kurasai, you know, please try. Try. And he said, he went, you know, let a little air in, you know, a little more.

[48:11]

Keep trying, keep trying. So the Bodhisattva, his mother, the Bodhisattva in the form of his mother, you know, came to him and said, you know, we want you to, we want you to live a little longer. You're a good priest. Come on. Get a little air in there. And he got, and he came and he got some in and he's still with us. But sometimes we get in this position where we can't let anything in. And of course, then you can't let anything out either. We get in those situations, even good people get in those situations. But then if we can receive something, if somebody can like hear, I have a gift for you, open up, take it, then we can continue to live and practice. And so now he's still with us, and he is very generous actually. But this thing he was doing with the smoking was not very generous actually. It wasn't a generous thing. He wasn't leaving the cigarettes to the cigarettes.

[49:14]

So we want to... We don't have to actually exchange anything. necessarily, although we can. Just everything we meet, let it, leave it to itself, let it be what it is. We're not trying to get anything from it or take anything from it. There's no greed. There's no selfishness. And when there's no greed or selfishness, then things start to become giving. When we meet in this way, the meeting turns into giving. When we eat in this way, when we talk in this way, the activity becomes giving. It becomes free of greed, hate, and delusion. It becomes free of self-clinging. And the transformation starts a little bit, and it starts with us, and it starts with those we meet.

[50:38]

It's mutual. We give, they receive, they receive, we give. They receive, we receive. They receive, they give, we receive. All that starts happening when we meet events in this way and then they become giving. And then our activities become one with the circulation among all things, and become one with the way everything is embracing everything. We enter into the mutual assistance which is going on all the time among all beings. And we start to realize it. It starts to be realized. It starts to be realized through the practice of giving, through the understanding of letting things be what they are, not trying to get something. But if something is given, we receive it And by receiving it, giving is realized.

[51:44]

We, I should say, our receiving, our receiving realizes giving. When he inhaled that air, he realized the giving of great compassion. He realized the giving of all of us who want him to live a little longer. He received that and he realized giving by receiving. You realize giving by receiving things as they are. And receiving things as they are means being free of greed, hate and delusion at that moment. And then you enter, or then you and everything enters this circulation among all things, the mutual assistance among all things. And then the walls between people start to be dropped. And then again giving is realized. And then again we enter into the stream.

[52:48]

And then again the walls drop. And then again this is giving. This is the first practice of a bodhisattva. And then this practice continues all the way to the end. So in a sense it's the practice which in some sense is the most continuous among all of them. So it's the way to get us started and them started and us started, and then we continue it. Anything you want to bring up?

[53:51]

I'm trying not to articulate what's going on in my head, but I think you need to understand what you're I like to try to practice. Kind of what I have trouble understanding is that we make decisions all the time about having certain relationships with the people. And that seems different than accepting or realizing your relationship with all beings. We decide to have particularly intimate relationships with certain friends. You decide to have intimate relationships with certain people. Did you say? Yeah. So in that instance... Or the decision arises in you that you'd like to have intimate relationships with certain people.

[55:10]

Mm-hmm. But we also decide sometimes to leave an intimate relationship. Uh-huh. The decision to leave an intimate relationship arises. So in that case, then, aren't you rejecting something about the way that situation is or the way that person is or the way that friendship is developing? If you... Thanks for the question. That was a nice gift. If you reject something about a relationship that is kind of like... It's a little bit like hatred. And so if you do that in some relationship, if you do that towards something like yourself or something other than yourself, if you do that, then that kind of like rejection doesn't sound like letting that thing, that person or that thing, just be itself.

[56:38]

It doesn't sound like being generous and saying, I... totally let you, I leave you, I entrust you to yourself. It doesn't sound like that. It sounds a little bit like, I'm not into that right now. I'm more interested in getting rid of you or something. That's what it sounded like. So that can arise. In other words, a sense of rejection can arise. And then there can be a little break in the practice of letting this person, of being aware, being aware of entrusting this person to the person. there can be a break in that awareness. And if there's a break in that awareness, then there seems to be a break in the practice of giving. But you can also be with someone who you think it would be good to be quite a distance from and let that person, leave that person to that person, entrust that person to that person, and then at that moment you're

[57:41]

that attitude is giving. There is giving. Now that attitude also then realizes integration with that person. That attitude realizes embracing that person and being embraced by that person. That attitude realizes mutual assistance. It emphasizes that person is assisting you and you're assisting that person. In other words, giving. In other words, enlightenment. Now, if you mean by ending an intimate relationship, like being, like moving out of the house, or asking them to move out of the house, or asking them to move out of the state, okay? That's what you mean by ending an intimate relationship. I would say, I wouldn't talk that way myself. I would say that's just like moving out of the house. I know some people who have moved out of my house, who I was intimate with before I met them,

[58:44]

I was intimate with them when they lived in the house and I'm intimate with them after they move out of the house. Because intimacy or mutual embracing is reality. But it isn't reality that we all live in the same house. And it isn't reality that we all sleep in the same bed. That's not reality. That's not conventional reality and that's not ultimate reality. Children grow up and leave their parents. So you could say, well, that's ending a certain kind of intimacy. When my daughter was born, my wife assigned me to give her baths. And I gave her baths until she was eight. And then I stopped. And I didn't get to do that intimate thing with her anymore. It was an intimate thing. And then I did the intimate thing of not taking baths with her. I had the intimate relationship of being a man who was her father who didn't take baths with her.

[59:45]

because it didn't seem right to take baths with her anymore, because she was getting to be too much like a grown woman. So I stopped. But if I had gone on and taken baths with her, I would say that in some sense that would have violated our intimacy more than recognizing that our intimacy was such that I was a grown man and she was becoming a grown woman, and because of that, in a couple with the fact that I was her father, it was time for us to not take baths together. That's a manifestation of our intimacy, actually, that we don't do that anymore. And now she explains to her son, he said, he can't understand why we all can't take baths together now. He said, he takes baths with me, right? But his mom doesn't come in the bathtub with us. And she explained to him, you know, you and I, she said, mommy and you can take baths together. But I used to take baths with my dad, but I don't anymore because I grew up.

[60:51]

And he just doesn't quite get it, but he's only four and a half. At eight, they can kind of get it. So I said to her, one of the reasons I said, can you imagine your mom taking a bath with your grandfather? I said to her, and she kind of could see that that'd be funny for her mom to take a bath with her dad. She could see that, that it would be kind of very strange and that that was, so she would, and she was becoming more like her mom, so she kind of could see it. That, I don't feel that that, it was sad, the transition, because I lost this special kind of thing we got to do together. But I think it took care of our intimacy that we made that change. And it wasn't my decision alone. Matter of fact, I didn't really think of it myself. A little bird told me it was time. A grandmother bird and a mother bird told me.

[61:54]

But I could kind of see it. And then I looked for other ways to manifest my intimacy with my daughter. I tried to find other ways. This practice is about realizing intimacy with everybody, but intimacy with everybody doesn't look the same. So now I take baths with my grandson, and it's a wonderful thing for him and me. I recently got him a boat. to put in the bathtub. But the time will come when maybe he won't take baths with his granddaddy anymore. But it doesn't mean that we necessarily will lose our intimacy, because we won't lose our intimacy.

[63:00]

It also doesn't mean that we'll lose awareness of it or realization of it. he may be able to say to me, you know, I mean, at a certain point, you know, we say, time for a bath, Maceo, and who's going to take a bath with you, or who's going to take you to the bath, you know. The time may come when we'll say, and he'll say, I'll do it by myself. I don't want anybody to come with me. Or he may say, pick somebody, and then we may say, well, maybe you're getting too old for that. And there may be some transition, but... We can harmoniously physically come close to people and physically separate. It's possible to do that with intimacy. And also the next one is kind speech. And I remember one line in there which says, enemies can be subdued with kind speech and kings can be harmonized with kind speech.

[64:03]

So kind speech may help us negotiate transitions in the way that intimacy is manifesting. So the idea is to everywhere manifest this interdependence, everywhere manifest this mutual assistance among us, everywhere manifest it. But the way it looks is different in each case. The way Bernard and I are intimate is different from the way Stephen and I are intimate is different from the way you and I are intimate. There's differences. You know, people feel okay about us taking a bath together, but they don't feel okay about you and I taking a bath together. But that doesn't mean I'm less intimate with you. Matter of fact, because of our intimacy, I take into account all the different ingredients in our nature. I take into account gender and stuff as part of honoring the intimacy and societal relationships.

[65:07]

And also how our relationship affects everybody else is part of our intimacy. The way I relate to you, I don't want to undermine my relationships with anybody else. And by giving, you can be intimate with this person without disturbing your intimacy with these people. But if you don't practice giving and really realize the intimacy, if there's any greed, hate, or delusion, or messing around in that way, then your intimacy with this person can bother that person. Not just bother them, but disturb the realization of intimacy with the other people. So giving is the beginning of the way we realize intimacy with one person in such a way that we realize intimacy with other people. We learn how to give in such a way that it doesn't alienate anybody else. We learn how to give so that other people don't get jealous. Or even if they do get jealous, we relate to that jealousy in such a way that the giving becomes jealousy.

[66:15]

I mean, that the jealousy becomes giving. Because we let the jealousy, we leave the jealousy to jealousy, and then we realize giving and intimacy with the phenomena of a jealous, of a jealousy or of a jealous person at that moment. How are you feeling? Huh? Relax that book. Open that tummy. Elena? You said from jealousy to jealousy, it occurs to me that maybe what really is the thing for everything, jealousy, love, whatever, is part of the human experience. Yes, that's right.

[67:17]

That's part of generosity is give everything its place. It's going to take it anyway, so you might as well give it. Then at least, even though jealousy is an unwholesome thing, or even if hatred is an unwholesome thing, still to entrust hatred to hatred, then hatred becomes giving. It's still an unwholesome thing, but it turns into giving, and then the transformation starts. There is, in fact... space for everything to happen that happens the universe didn't make any mistakes it's just hard to let things be what they are and to turn something difficult or obnoxious by this method into giving then the transformation starts it doesn't mean the thing isn't still a problem It's just that we're starting to transform beings through this very difficult thing by this practice of giving.

[68:25]

May I have something to expand on that? So if one tries to change, say that you feel jealousy or hatred and you feel bad about it and you say, no, I have to change, but that's not giving. Giving is just allowing. The giving would apply. You said, you actually just now described a number of different phenomena just there, in a kind of a sequential way. The giving would be practiced at each moment in that process that you described, of letting each part of that be itself. of not having any aversion or attachment to any aspect of that process you just described, then giving would start to be realized in that very process you described. The process itself isn't giving. People aren't giving unless they are met with no greed, hate and delusion.

[69:28]

People are just opportunities for practicing giving. The people you meet and the person you are is a moment-by-moment opportunity for the practice of giving. It's not that a rock is giving or you're giving or pain is giving or jealousy is giving. It's that each thing is an opportunity to be a gift and to be giving. if related to in this way, but we have to be on the giving ball. We have to be like, okay, I'm practicing giving. So, okay, now there's Tracy. Now how do I practice giving with Tracy? Entrust Tracy to Tracy. Give Tracy to Tracy. Let Tracy be Tracy, and now we have giving happening. And I'm not getting anything out of this, and yet lots is happening for me. I'm not trying to get anything out of it other than just realize the practice of giving.

[70:32]

And she may change, and she will change in the next moment, and she will change no matter what I do or how I think, she will change. But if I'm thinking in this mode, she and I are being transformed through the practice of giving. Yes, Tracy? There's an opportunity. Yeah, there is. There's another one. Are there words to say what level your teachings These don't feel like regular classes like in school. No hoods. Could you speak a little louder, please? Yeah. These don't feel like regular classes like in school. I don't feel like what's being asked of me is what has ever been asked of me in traditional education.

[71:41]

So I'm... Wow. Can you say why that... How come I'm like this, you mean? Because I'm so touched by the gift you just gave me. I know.

[71:57]

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