A few days ago, it was a long, long time to talk with some questions and answers. And so I could move on to some further into this discussion, or if you'd like to bring up any questions right away or any comments right away, that's okay. It would be cute. Bring anything up right now. You only relate to other people's normal qualities. Well, it's not so much that you relate to your own qualities, but that you're aware of them.

[01:01]

And just that you're aware to whatever extent you're stingy, ungenerous, in need, narrow-minded, self-centered, self-concerned. thinking you're not as good as other people, or thinking you're better than other people, just kind of thing. You're aware of that. Such things can arise in our experience. Right? Yes? Grounding yourself in your awareness of your limitedness. You're already grounded in your limitedness. But it's to be aware of it. How does it realize?

[02:08]

How does it? Well, the immediate way is that exactly the way you are limited just the way you're limited, really, is that you're not limited. Because the way you're limited, the particular way that you're limited, the particular way that you're stingy, the particular way that you're self-concerned, by being that way rather than another way, The thing about being in a particular limited way is that you're that way, not another way. The defining, determining qualities that give you that particularity are exactly the reason why that particularity has no substance.

[03:20]

There's nothing to it, really. It's just an appearance. But we, generally speaking, think that our particularity is real. Therefore, then not only do we have the appearance of particularity and limitation and self-centeredness, but we think it's real, therefore we're really attached to that. Once we realize that it depends on other things and therefore has no inherent existence, we're freed from our particularity. But you have to actually feel your particularity completely before you feel how it's made, what it depends on, and by that very dependence, how it doesn't have any independent existence, which we usually think it does.

[04:24]

And we usually think it does because we don't pay attention to it fully. we look at ourselves a little bit, we can say, well, I'm probably there. And then we go from there to I'm really there. So unexamined, our self-unexamined, can stand and be strongly institutionalized. And other people who have strongly institutionalized selves can cooperate with that project, so we make all these independent cells and then we have these problems, these unpeaceful, twisted, painful lives. But if we look in a balanced position, in an upright mental and physical posture, if we study this limited, stingy situation,

[05:33]

and we see just how it is, then we are immediately liberated at that point that we really, like, see it as it is. But I probably look very carefully in a balanced way of what is... what is so uninteresting It's okay. Yes. No. They don't. Yes. We're strangled by, um,

[06:40]

unexamined phenomenon. So when you look, when something appears and you don't look at it carefully, you think it can exist by itself. Its independent existence strangles it. Its independence cuts it off from everything that gives it life. So our way of seeing strangles everything. I shouldn't say I strangle everything, but by making our life into a bunch of things, we strangle everything we make. Everything we make, we strangle at the very moment of its birth. As a thing. Yeah, we make ourselves a good thing, we strangle ourselves. By saying I'm cut off of everything that supports me, then I felt threatened by everything that supports me.

[07:45]

Everything is... But he didn't seem to care about it. What I'm leading up to is that homosexuality and males can become free from their males and from their humanness. We can become free if we can be aware of what it is to be what we are. and clearly aware of what it means to be like you, for you to do that, to set you free from what you are. Right? Can't give them more. Can't give them more. You can face that with all the pain that's involved in the idea that you're a limited event. You can face that, you can become free of your limitation. If you can't face that, then your limitation will all drag you back down into it. But this thing about the nobility that Deng Shang mentioned, that the generations of nobility temporarily fallen into ungenerous, mean, petty, stringy existence, the message there is that we should be grounded in the awareness of our limitation, but we shouldn't lack in confidence.

[09:14]

Being aware of my limitations doesn't mean that I don't have confidence in Buddha nature. And by confidence, practices did not make you in the slightest bit better. But you needed to think that they made you better in order to recover. and realize that you could never be made any better. So, as long as we're thinking dualistically, I mean, we're going to keep thinking dualistically. And then you can say, okay, well, I won't do any practices now. Well, fine. Or I will do practices. Well, fine. Or I'll do practices that don't make me better. Fine. Or I'll make practices that do make me better. Fine. But anyway, a lot of people are of the type of person that does a practice which seems to make them better.

[10:28]

And as they get better, they get more and more confidence. But when they finally have full confidence, they realize that this process of getting better by which they seem to get more confidence, in fact, was an illusion that they did not get the slightest bit better. That nobody can get better. But at the same time, we have to recognize that in conventional reality, people do want to get better. Okay, fine. But that, uh, that, um, Dung Shamsen, that's an illusion. So, and then again, there's that story, that famous story of, uh, what is it? Master Ma was practicing meditation, practicing sitting, and his teacher, 9-year-old, Wairon, came up to him and said, what are you doing?

[11:31]

And he said, I'm sitting to make a Buddha. And then Nanue went over and started polishing a roof tile. And Matsu said, what are you doing? He said, I'm polishing this tile to make a mirror. And Matsu said, how can you make a mirror out of a tile? And Nanyue said, how can you make a Buddha out of a sentient being? Let's see, a colon, right? The Toggen we just have, um, in fact, Matsu sitting there is making a Buddha. But it's not that Matsu is making a Buddha out of a sentient being.

[12:40]

Take a sentient being and make it into a Buddha by polishing. Polishing a sentient being isn't that you polish a sentient being and sentient being becomes a Buddha. Polishing a sentient being is Buddha. For a sentient being to sit makes a Buddha. For a sentient being becoming that person is a Buddha. So when Matsu becomes Matsu, that makes the Buddha. Or when Matsu becomes Buddha, that immediately makes Matsu. So usually that poem is understood as, you know, you can't do a practice in Zen.

[13:51]

You can't do a practice to make a sentient being into a Buddha. That sometimes loses track of the fact that you can do a practice which is a sentient being. Being a sentient being. That's all. Not a sentient being being a Buddha. But when a sentient being is a sentient being, that is a Buddha. But very presentient beings are sentient beings. Very presentient beings are about being sentient beings. In other words, very presentient beings are willing to be limited in their own particular sentient beings. Therefore, that unwillingness that unwillingness to be themselves means they don't trust themselves, they don't have confidence in themselves, they don't really think they're evil in this family, and that lack of confidence makes them, blocks them. I'm unwilling to feel my resistance.

[15:01]

Well... but being stingy about my stinginess. Not only am I stingy, but I'm down on myself. Fine. You can, you can, your mind can create whatever it is, whatever, and you can still be aware of it. And there's nothing that your mind can create that you can't be mindful of. It's your baby. You can be aware of it. The question is, are you taking care of your thing? So, I don't know if Kitchen left before or after I talked about those, uh, Those throne gods. Were you in the room when I talked about the throne gods? Huh? Huh? Yeah. So there's this imperial throne. Not the main, not the big main one, but sort of some bathroom thrones. And I don't know if it was actually for the male emperor or for one of the main concubines. But anyway, it was a throne. Perfectly good, beautifully crafted throne. It had two gods, a male god and a female god.

[16:06]

and the female god was kind of nervous and twitchy and squirmy, and the male god was just totally slouched out. Two different ways of resisting the circumstances that they were. They had a job there to sit there in those chairs all day, and they had two different styles of resisting being in one chair. Somehow, if you can take your seat there, in that body there, that slouchy body there, that nervous body, or up in the Zendo, whatever, slouchy or nervous, agitated and hyper-energetic, thinking too much, slouchy and trying to go to sleep, whatever, if you can take that seat and take care of that baby, watch it, moment by moment, in detail,

[17:09]

just as a detail that it's presenting itself. Whatever that form is, whatever nasty, obnoxious, petty form that is, if you can take good care of that, you'll wake up to what that really is. One time I was at the airport. I don't know where I was going to or from Japan, and this woman, Japanese woman, was taking care of her baby. I think it was a little boy. He's a toddler, just learning how to walk. He was walking all over the airport. Well, not all over the airport, but widely. He was covering quite a bit of territory. She just followed him wherever he went, just so he wouldn't get hurt. She didn't restrain him at all. But she was just right there in case he fell down to his head on some sharp object or something. And of course, so he wouldn't get kidnapped or lost. She was just there with him. Everywhere he went, she was there. right there just constantly ready to catch him or assist him or... And that's really, I thought, very similar to the attitude of how you practice meditation.

[18:21]

So, there you are sitting, you know, either a throne guard or anywhere you're sitting in your cushion in the zendo. Can you be attentive to this mind as it goes through all these changes? Including, in fact, that some of your minds aren't like a little kid. They run all over the place, but run in the same places over and over. You might say, well, if I had a mind like that, I'd be able to follow it. But mine's a very boring little kid with kids running over to the same chair during the game. That's a real challenge, to stay with that kid. It's very boring. But that's what it needs. It needs the mind which will stay with it, no matter what it does. It's not what it's doing at the point. It's the attitude toward what it's doing. That's what we're cultivating, is this attitude of non-discrimination that will study no matter what's happening.

[19:29]

No matter what this moment is presenting, you will give it your full attention. even though it looked just like that last moment. How can I pay attention to the same kind of the same thing over and over? In some sense, your mind is doing you this great service of presenting the same boring story over and over and over. There's only one mind that could stay attentive to such a boring story. If your mind didn't want you to grow up, it would present you with interesting things moment by moment in meditation. Keep, you know, presenting you with things which would be easy to pay attention to. Well, that's interesting, that's interesting, that's interesting. I don't have to change that, but you're not the best story. I cannot go with this other one. If your mind didn't want you to grow up, it would present you stuff like that. But your mind wants you to evolve, so it presents you with what requires you to mature in order to pay attention.

[20:35]

So it presents you with what requires love rather than what is sort of basically entertaining. And children do that too. They're not primarily there to entertain. They're there to help you develop love. And that's what the other people of Sangha are there for too. They're not primarily here to do something that you think is interesting. They're acting in a way that in order to pay attention to them, they have to put aside how they appear and just pay attention to them no matter what they're doing. This is non-attachment. This is non-discrimination. So again, non-discrimination is not discriminated. Your mind is discriminated all the time. That's the kid running around. Non-discrimination is... You study your mind no matter what it's discriminating, or no matter how it's discriminating.

[21:41]

You study that. That's non-discrimination. And one of the things we have here is the separation of these short classes. Right? Yeah. But we'll have a lot of them. Yes? I thought what you said, you said that the mind doesn't give you to whatever it gives you. Well, I should say, the mind in its helpful mode, you know, give it a chance, give it a chance, and it'll give you what's not inherently interesting, but what requires you to mature. Yes? In other words, it's not what is the mind that the mind of itself is. No, it's not like your mind has a... No, it's like, because your living mind, you know, you're like a living child, your living mind presents you sort of with what, with what, uh, kind of like is conducive to you developing patience rather than what is conducive to you staying asleep.

[22:47]

Uh... What is it? Well, in one sense, boredom is a big, big demon. It's trying to, in one sense, you can say it's trying to ruin your practice just when it's about to really settle down and set you free. That's kind of the paranoid version of boredom. So, when you're not angry anymore, or restless, or greedy, or doubting, when sort of those things, when those demons don't bother you anymore, you just sit and watch them and say, okay, got some greed here. That's what it is, greed. And then, by just seeing what it is and not messing with it and just letting greed be greed, greed evaporates.

[23:55]

You're not trying to run away from greed or run towards the greed. Just greed, greed. And greed drops away. Same with those other words. When they aren't getting you anymore, then the border moves. Huh? Nothing worth studying, you know. Anyway, it could be seen as a big demon. But also it could be seen as a big challenge. How can you be enthusiastic about taking care of a boring kid or a boring friend or a boring student? How can you be enthusiastic about that? Well, one of the things that helps is to say, I'm bored. To recognize boredom. Well, is boredom interesting? Boredom's not necessarily interesting, but recognizing it is... Enlivening. What?

[25:06]

Wanted to get more interested? No. Please, please, please. Please, please. Please. [...] One antidote to boring is what? That's fine. It's fine to have that antidote, that similar antidote. You'd like to use that one. But I'm emphasizing something a little bit different. What am I emphasizing deeply about bored? Yeah. Just be bored. No antidote. What's the matter with bored? Do you think bored is going to kill a Buddha?

[26:06]

No. No, bored will kill a Buddha or hurt a Buddha. As a matter of fact, like I was saying, in some ways, If you want to, you can encourage yourself a little bit to boredom and say, this is like, in order to deal with boredom, I'm going to have to be Buddha. To be awake and alert and loving to boredom is not something for anything less than a Buddha or a loving mother or whatever you want to say. Anyway, rather than have an antidote to boredom and go back to some more interesting situations, it got rid of boredom. Oh, look at that. So, I think some ways if you can stand it, just just study, you know, practice with boredom. With no kind of like idea, well, if I practice with it, it'll go away. It's tough, huh?

[27:15]

You've got to have a lot of confidence in yourself to guide you with that. Now if we said, okay, we'll all agree. It's very clear. Okay? This man here is Buddha. And you feel, actually, you're making us all happy. And you can see how you, you know, every breath you take is like totally beneficial to us. And every exhale is like just, literates us and makes us work. All ecological and environmental problems are completely evaporated by the next day. You feel that, you know? They say, but one thing I want you to look at is, would you please be bored, in case you have a little boredom? You probably say, okay. A small price to pay. But if you think you're kind of like, well, I'm kind of like a mediocre or suddenly a bug average student, and now I've got this boredom, and if I got rid of boredom, I'd have to be a better sense student. Or at least I'd be more entertaining.

[28:18]

If I'm going to be a medium-grade Zen student, at least you'd be entertaining. Plus, if I want to be a lousy Zen student, then I really want some entertaining. Some compensation, right? I'm in the lower part of my class, and it can get some fun out of this. But if you're a Buddha, you know, you can work with anything. And so if you're being given an example of, well, how about this or anything, then guess what you're supposed to do with it. Guess. Guess what you're supposed to do with books. Accept it, you know? Well, in other words, don't do anything with it. That's what you're supposed to do with it as a Buddha. Buddha just sits there, right, unmoving. Doesn't stand up, doesn't sit down, doesn't walk right left, doesn't come and go. And that just working with what's happening, that is a great light which illuminates all beings.

[29:20]

So again, if you were sitting there, illuminate a radiant great light, which was relieving the pain of beings in all directions, right? And when boredom walked out in front of you, you think that would get you? You could say, can I have an antidote to this, please? I think an aspirin's okay, but an antidote to boredom, I don't know about that. So again, if you don't think you're a Buddha, you think you're kind of like whatever, something less than a Buddha, then you're going to want antidotes to some of this stuff that's appearing before you, like, or, well, fine, okay, this is a free country, have an antidote. That's what Hong Kong Nhi is saying. But Dung Shan is saying, it's not so much you should have an antidote to your situation, this is your situation. Why don't you accept what you got? You have come down. You have fallen into this boredom.

[30:27]

This kind of attitude, you know, I'm bringing this case up at the beginning because this kind of attitude of case 56 is a kind of a strict thing, you know, whether you're going to actually, like, adopt a non-dual approach to the practice. which allows you to keep being ordinary, dualistic, whatever you are. You don't have to, like, pick yourself up or anything. You just have to change your attitude towards practice in order to adopt this mode. You sort of adopt the point of view of practice, in a sense, at the same time that you don't believe it. You adopt the point of view that you have after being Buddha. after being Buddha, but also not up in the cloud, but grounded in the fact of, hey, I'm just a petty guy. Self-centered, small-scale person.

[31:30]

Somehow, and the practice I'm gonna do is not try to make this person into a better person, but realize the liberation of this person, for the welfare of all people. I'm kind of torn you. I think you've got this problem with your questions. I appreciate your questions, but I think the idea was to stop. So we'll have another class two miles. If you can remember your questions, go further into this. Sorry about this. We're not used to these short classes. I hope you can deal with this. So Linda, please. Why don't we finish the schedule? Why don't we do it? Why don't we see our life? Isn't it lousy to give me a lot of space?

[32:35]

It's so long.

[32:38]

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