At the last class, I discussed with you a little bit about doksan and started to introduce some discussion about zazen practice. And I wanted to talk to you in a kind of informal situation because I want to get sense right away now at the beginning of the practice period of how you understand your zazen practice. Part of what I can offer or do with you is I can bring up, for example, the teachings which I see as teachings about Zazen practice, particularly, for example, the teachings of Dogen on Zazen practice. Before introducing these teachings, I want to have some sense of how you understand, because if you don't have a basic understanding, then those teachings may just, they may not be inspiring and encouraging, they may just be confusing.

[01:15]

But if you have a basic understanding, then these teachings of his can be kind of like, really kind of like, you can experience it as real encouragement, real kind of like rooting for you, and also you rooting for him. and really appreciating what he's saying in his many poetic and beautiful ways he says it. But I'd like you to understand some basic thing. I don't know if I'd like you to understand them, but I'd like to see how you do understand and go from there. So I'm going to offer some things which in one sense are kind of simple. And it's hard to believe how simple they are. I just want to know if you believe them. So to review a little bit, this is all part of what we call studying the self and becoming intimate with the self.

[02:18]

And in that process of becoming intimate with it, one forgets one's ideas about what it is. And because of that, one is awakened by everything that happens. And this is to drop body and mind. So in the end of the chapter on Avalokiteshvara, Bodhisattva, in the Lotus Sutra, kind of the last verse is, with eyes of compassion, observing sentient beings, an ocean of happiness accumulates beyond measure.

[03:20]

eyes of compassion, observing sentient beings, an ocean of happiness accumulates beyond measure." Beyond measure I would interpret tonight as meaning beyond anything you can do, beyond anything you can think, beyond anything you can start or stop. So the idea here is you and me observe what's happening moment by moment. This is called observing sentient beings. with eyes of compassion means with radical politeness.

[04:33]

In other words, just observe sentient beings, not to accumulate an ocean of happiness, not to fix them up, not to improve them, not to improve yourself, simply observing with eyes of compassion living creatures. With this kind of life, an ocean accumulates, an ocean of happiness accumulates, and this is beyond measure. You can't figure out how this happens. You can't figure out how big it is or how small it is. You can't figure out where it starts or where it stops. And you can't start it, and you can't stop it. This is a way of talking about what zazen is. This ocean of happiness beyond measure is what is called, in the Fukan Zazengi, deportment beyond hearing and seeing.

[05:49]

We deport ourselves in the realm of hearing and seeing, and to observe ourselves and others deporting themselves in the realm of hearing and seeing is called observing sentient beings. To observe them as they have come to appear, to just watch how they are without any agenda, other than our basic vow to save them, but without any agenda to make them look different from what they are, or wish that they were better or worse. That means to not only observe them, but to observe them with eyes of compassion. This is deportment beyond hearing and seeing. Or rather, deportment beyond hearing and seeing totally pervades this and is realized by this kind of meditation, by this kind of observation. This deportment beyond hearing and seeing is already going on.

[06:54]

It's not something I can do. It's not something you can do. It's something that is done by all of us all the time. It's already happening. The issue here is called... The issue of zazen practice is the issue of practicing and realizing this, or realizing this as practice, or practicing this as realization. Our practice is to realize this deportment beyond hearing and seeing, this ocean of happiness beyond measure. It's already there. It's a question of realizing it. The way of realizing it is to observe sentient beings with eyes of compassion. Zazen practice is to observe sentient beings with eyes of compassion. This is called, in the ordination ceremony, which we just did up at Green Gulch, there's an expression, a realization in the realm beyond karma.

[08:12]

This ocean of happiness is a realization in the realm beyond karma. This realization in the realm beyond karma comes into our life stream and into the life stream of others by the perfect, well, complete acceptance of the realm of karma, the painful, twisted realm of karma, so difficult to accept it as it appears, as it comes, If there's the slightest bit of self in the observation, if you wish for it to be anything, then to observe the realm of karma is quite painful. To observe it with eyes of compassion means you

[09:17]

I'm not saying there's no pain there, but it means you really let it be the realm of karma as it's coming now. That's highs of compassion, observing sentient beings, that is accepting karma. And in that acceptance, there is a realization in the realm beyond karma. There is already this realm beyond karma. It's a question of practicing and realizing it. Again, this is zazen. Sitting, observing yourself with eyes of compassion, sitting with this body with radical politeness to yourself and others is the practice realization of deportment beyond hearing and seeing. There's a kind of a logic here I'm setting up. Maybe you can start to see it. Here's another example of it. The thought of enlightenment is not something I can do.

[10:25]

It's not something you can do. It's not something I can do for you or you can do for me. It's not something which Buddhas give to me. It's not something I conjure up by myself. It doesn't come from self. It doesn't come from others. It comes in communion with awakening. which I cannot do and awakening cannot do, but it happens. And it is happening right now. It is happening beyond hearing and seeing. My hearing and seeing, your hearing and seeing, do not hinder it, do not aid it. It is going on. The thought of enlightenment does not depend on the circumstances of my life right now or your life. It does not arise in conjunction with circumstances. It is caused by itself. And it is arising right now. And the arising of it right now is it.

[11:26]

All this is deportment beyond hearing and seeing. When a whole bunch of Buddhas come into a room, it doesn't make the thought of enlightenment get any stronger. When they leave, it doesn't get any weaker. The thought of enlightenment happens in birth and death. It happens in nirvana and delusion. It doesn't depend on conditions, but when conditions are together, which they always are with the thought of enlightenment, this is what Dogen calls a single hand held out. A single hand freely held out. A single hand held out in the midst of all beings. Conditions don't cause the thought of enlightenment, but the conditions together with the thought of enlightenment is the manifestation, is the realization of compassion in the world.

[12:43]

What's our job? Our job is not to create the thought of enlightenment. Our job is to be intimate with conditions, which we are already. Conditions, our conditions, as such, together with this thought of enlightenment, which is arising right now, realizes compassion. This intimacy with conditions is our effort, our human effort in zazen. We already are our conditions. Our conditions are already with the thought of enlightenment. This is already compassion in the world. However, we do not realize that if we don't practice that. Practicing that is to take care of every single thing that occurs in our life. Yeah. Yeah. You said at the beginning that when you observe all beings, you don't need to observe them with anything other than your vow to save them.

[13:56]

What's the importance of that, of having that vow to save them and being able to see them clearly? Well, it probably helps you listen to the teaching which I just said. Couldn't it get in the way, though? Yes, it can get in the way. That vow does not mean, for example, that vow does not mean that you can be impolite to people. For example, you make the vow to help all people, and then you see people doing things harmful to themselves, and you might think that you should then, you know, kind of like stop them from doing harmful things or something like that, just because it hurts you to see that. But if that's your understanding of your vow, then your vow could be in conjunction with a misunderstanding, and then you could blame the vow for your misunderstanding. But I don't think the vow is the problem.

[14:59]

I think the vow is just a sort of an opportunity to be deluded. It's fodder for delusion. But I think the vow does help. help you study and, you know, because it says to study and it orients you in the proper, it orients you to on the proper topic and then, you know, and then also part of the vow is to study and understand the teaching about how to, how to save sentient beings and how to pay attention to them and so on. But any of these teachings can be, you know, picked up the wrong way and backfire on us. The basic method of how to help a being not to do anything. Yeah, or like I'm calling radical politeness tonight. So, I gave the example, a couple examples. This is zazen, okay? It sounds like working with people in the world, but it's really zazen, translated into a relationship with something else.

[16:05]

But the same, this way you would relate to other people is the same way you relate to yourself. So, for example, I heard this story, Alice Miller's story, about this little boy who went to visit his aunt for lunch or something like that. And he ate lunch. And then after lunch, I guess there was dessert. And then he had dessert. And then he reached to get himself some more dessert. And his aunt said something like, you should ask for seconds on dessert. Or you should wait to be served or something. And he said, I don't know what he said. He said, maybe, you know, well, why? Or at home, I don't have to do that or whatever. And she said, yeah, but you should be concerned for the other people. And he said, what other people?

[17:07]

Anyway, she pressed the point pretty strongly. And he got upset. And he said, well, at home, if I'm hungry, my mom just lets me eat. Anyway, he got kind of upset. And when a friend of mine told this story to some people, they said, well, you know, you need to discipline children. They need to learn manners, right? Don't they? We need to learn manners at Zen monasteries too, right? Like how to serve and how to eat. I mean, if we watch ourselves, or particularly if we watch others, we may see that they could use a few pointers on how they eat, right? But in terms of radical politeness, how can I instruct these people in the dignified conduct of eating?

[18:11]

How can I do that? I myself, I guess I can say this, that the way I eat outside of the zendo is not as dignified as the way I eat in the zendo. After many years of sitting and eating, my eating style in the zendo is not that boorish. But at restaurants and stuff, I am kind of, I guess, not as cultured as I am in the zendo. Because my cultural level in the Zendo is much higher than it is at restaurants, having eaten many more Zendo meals than restaurant meals, I'm quite a, you know, I could be quite a little, I could have quite a few things to say about the way people eat in the Zendo and the way they serve and stuff. Slight things I notice. But what do I do about that? How do I talk to people about these things that I see? Like, you know, the way they, I don't know what, you know, the way they pick up their bowls.

[19:16]

The way they, like, I mentioned last practice period about, you know, when you're serving cereal or something. And, like, in a nice restaurant, can you imagine, like, if a waiter came up and served you soup, if you imagine him going, That's like what you see in those scenes, the movies in the prisons when they're serving those guys. But at Zen Center, it's not that people are being rude exactly, it's just that sometimes when you pour the cereal, it doesn't come out, right? So the server wants to get it off their cereal. So I mentioned that last practice period. Now, in this case, I'm not being particularly impolite to anybody because I'm not talking to a particular person. When somebody's serving me, you know, and they come up and they start going... To get it off there, you know, a part of me feels like this is kind of rough. This is kind of like not very respectful to the cereal.

[20:21]

But what about being respectful to them? I can be said, you should be respectful to cereal, but I can also talk to them like they're really trash for the way they serve the cereal, right? But they need to learn this, right? That little boy needs to learn manners. But does he really need to learn manners? Well, yes and no. I mean, yes, he does. But no, he doesn't. But does he need to be abused? That's the question. Does he need to be trashed in the process? Well, you know, we don't really trust this little guy. We don't really think he's going to learn unless we give him a little encouragement to dig. You can't really wait until next week or whatever, because it might get worse. His habits might develop. This is not radical politeness. This is not eyes of compassion. But it's hard to let him just reach over there for seconds and wait for the right opportunity. It's hard. It's hard to wait.

[21:23]

Yeah? Is it radical politeness of an attitude so that you could say something about how you serve and that would attract somebody and there would be another way to say it? That's right. That is beauty. That's right. You can train people at manners with radical politeness. One of the main characteristics of radical politeness is, I would say, well, just it's very polite. That's basically it. And so a good time to train somebody as something is when they want you to train them. So if somebody's eating in such and such a way or walking in such and such a way or sitting in such and such a way, to comment on their posture or whatever, a polite time to do it would be when they ask you to comment. That would be one sort of hint that was kind of like, maybe this would be a polite time to mention it, is that they say, would you please tell me when I should reach for seconds? Or is it all right for me to reach for seconds? And even to say, is it all right, you still might not even say, no, it's not.

[22:27]

You might say, what do you mean, is it all right? You might kind of like let them ask you three times to tell them something about this. So it is possible to train people. I gave the example before, I think you may have heard me say that I heard one time about a woman told me about her father teaching her how to ride a bicycle. And as a father, this particular father has been having a hard time finding things to teach my daughter. I just don't think of a lot of stuff to teach her. So when I hear something to teach my daughter, I feel like, well, great, I can do this. I try to teach her many things, but she either isn't interested or says, well, basically, mom's going to teach me that. I mean, she says it literally or in fact, it's not my job. But now, here, fathers get to teach daughters how to ride bicycles because they're a little bit stronger and they can hold the bicycle seat, right?

[23:33]

and run alongside. So this is an opportunity to come to do this with the daughter. So when I heard about this, as soon as my daughter was kind of knee high to grasshopper, I said, do you want to ride a bicycle? And she said, you know, no. So then I got her a bicycle. And And it was a secondhand bicycle, but I put a lot of effort into painting it all red and getting a new seat for it and getting training wheels and everything. And then I said, I gave it to her for Christmas. I said, now you want to ride a bicycle? And she said, no. And then I asked her again, six months later, you want to ride a bicycle? No. And then I put it next to the car so when we got in the car, I could say, see the bicycle? Because I wanted to do this thing with her, you know? My motivation was not to make her into a bicycle rider. I wasn't that rude that I thought, this kid must learn how to ride a bicycle.

[24:36]

This is necessary. It was more that I just wanted the joy of teaching her and seeing her learn. But still, she wasn't interested, and I would say I didn't force her. I encouraged her, and she got on a couple times finally and rode for a few steps and just didn't want to. Got off. And then when she was about seven or eight, she came up to me and she said, would you teach me how to ride a bicycle? And I said, yeah. I went out to the park and she got on a bicycle. Now she was bigger. It wasn't that little bicycle with the training wheels anymore. It was a regular, you know, kind of like full side, not full side, but kind of nearly full side bike. And with no training wheels. So she got on the bike. I held the seat. And she started pedaling. And actually, I held the seat and held the bars for a while and went alongside with her. And then she said, let go of the handlebars.

[25:40]

So I let go of the handlebars. And she steered. And I just held the back of the seat to stabilize it. And she went along. I was running along next to her. And then she said, let go. And I let go. She went off. And then there I was. I got that thing I was waiting for for many years. And I did teach her, and I was fairly polite, and it was great success. But I had to wait for a long time for her to tell me it was time to ride a bicycle, that she wanted to learn it. And another example, in this example, I'm really on kind of like, what do you call it, thin ice. To use this, because I really don't know anything about horses, but I read a book about horses one time, about training horses. And the reason why I read it was because somebody told me it was a great Buddhist book or Zen book. And the beginning of the book, it says, pretty much right away, it says, you know, horses already know how to run, walk, stand, trot, canter, and gallop.

[26:48]

At a certain age, they just know how to do all that stuff. If you try to teach them to do that stuff before they know how to do it, they won't be able to learn. They just learn by themselves. They automatically know how to do that stuff. What the trainer has to do is learn not to teach the horse how to do that stuff because they already know how. The trainer needs to learn how to tell the horse which one of those things you'd like him to do. And the way you teach him is you learn how to use your hands in such a way, tell them with your hand that you want to do one of those things. So it's not that you teach them how to do this, and it's not exactly that you teach children manners. They already know these things. You just have to be able to tell them when to do it. And people do want to cooperate, actually, when they're told in that way that tells them that they want to do it. When they're told in the other way, they don't want to do it. When the thing goes like this, you don't want to do it. But when it goes like that, you want to do it. It's when that polite thing, when you're told in the way you like to be told to do the thing you want to do, that radical politeness is to learn how to tell the person in the way that they're asking you to tell them because they do want to do it at some point.

[28:02]

And they want the help of you to tell them. It's the same thing here with yourself. There's a way to tell yourself to be concentrated. You already know how to be concentrated. You already are concentrated. It's just a question of learning how to tell yourself, now be concentrated. There's a rude way to tell yourself to be concentrated, which works up to a point, but it is abusive. There's a problem with that. And if you're really intensely abusive to yourself, you can get yourself to concentrate by that abusive technique. I've done that to myself in meditation. I did it right here in the old zendo. Twenty-three years ago or twenty-four years ago I was in that zendo and I abused myself into concentration. I did very abusive things to myself. I threatened myself severely to be concentrated.

[29:05]

And when it didn't work, I upped the ante. And upped it and upped it until finally I submitted to my instructions and I got concentrated And when I was finally successful and completely dominated myself and overwhelmed myself with my rough instructions and been successful at coercing myself into getting concentrated by that method, then I finally realized that I didn't want to practice that way. So I survived. And I just said, OK, now I've seen what it's like. I don't like it. This is not the way I want to practice. I don't want to meditate this way. I don't want to concentrate this way. So then I started trying to thought, what do I want to concentrate on? What do people want to concentrate on? There's something that we want to concentrate on. And it is what we are concentrating on. You already are concentrated. It's just a question of telling yourself, of being polite with yourself and saying, would you like to concentrate perhaps on what you're concentrating on?

[30:10]

And for you to say, well, yes, thank you, I would. Well, then go right ahead. You mean I'm concentrated now? Yes, you are. You mean what I'm doing right now is what I'm doing right now? Yes. As a matter of fact, why don't you do that? Why don't you actually completely be present with what you're doing right now? And allow yourself to do that again and again. And I'm saying this to you only because you begged me to say it, right? You really want me to say this to you, right? Well, actually, I want you to stop now. That's enough. Well, I'd like to tell you a little bit more. No, no, no, no. That's enough. So there is a concentration practice here. And everything that's happening, in fact, is your concentration practice. Rick, can you give an example of how you, this abusive kind of concentration?

[31:24]

Like what you would say to yourself? I said to myself, I said to myself, I'm going to kill you if you lose track of your breath. I said that to myself. I said I'm going to stab you with this sharp instrument if you lose concentration. You can use concentration. And I said, I'm going to make this real tight program for you to help you. So what I did was, I counted 1 to 10, and I also counted the number of 10s that I did. So I set this very rigid program for myself so that I could count every breath for the whole period. That's the kind of coercion I did. and work, but when I finally was successful, I said, I don't like this. This isn't what I came here for. Somehow I got myself into doing something, which was not why I wanted to practice Zen in the first place, and I didn't like the experience.

[32:24]

But I did this kind of, and this was what the guys were doing in Tulsa in those days. We all did this kind of rough talk, we all treated ourselves roughly, and we were really lousy meditators, you know? Because we weren't polite to ourselves. We knew how to be impolite to ourselves, and we knew how to be polite to other people, therefore. And we were quite impolite to each other, too. It was a very impolite time. As a result, people slept a lot. Because, of course, you have to withdraw into denial and sleep to recover from this abuse. People curled up in balls and read a lot. Is that enough example? Yeah. I also told this story at the beginning of The Gringo Says Sheen, and I saw this movie called The Miracle, and I watched the movie.

[33:27]

It was vague. I thought it was really a very good movie. I think it's made by this guy who made this other movie, which is very popular now called The Crying Game. An Irish guy. Anyway, this movie's called The Miracle, and so as the movie proceeded, I was kind of looking for what the miracle would be, and towards the latter part of the movie, I saw what the miracle would probably be. And so I was watching for that miracle. And then, very close to the end of the movie, I saw another miracle, which I wasn't expecting, a kind of minor miracle, actually. of this boy who I was expecting this big miracle to happen to this young man, which was his mother and father getting back together after being separated since he was a baby, and his mother had left him and come back. There's a possibility now that he would get his mother back, wonderful mother back, and his parents would get back together. This was the miracle which I was sort of like seeing looming on the horizon, and I started to hope for it a little bit.

[34:33]

That's the miracle which I thought, that's the name of the movie, right? This is... And then he went to church, his boy went to church, when he had found out that this woman was his mother, and he was kind of hoping himself a little bit. He didn't know exactly what to hope, but I said clarified something to hope for. He just knew he wanted something to happen. He knew it was a terrible situation. He knew his life had been a terrible situation up to that point, not having a mother, but then finally when he found his mother, now the possibility of having his mother and his parents getting back together, now he wanted something to happen. And he went into church, and he sat in front of the Virgin Mary, and he kind of just said, okay, I'm just going to sit here until something happens. He sat in a pew, and in the next scene, you see him waking up, or maybe not the next scene, but shortly thereafter, you see him waking up in the morning. He had fallen asleep in the pew that night. You see him waking up in the morning in the church, and something is bumping him.

[35:36]

It's an elephant. So there's a little miracle, right? Something happened anyway, right? He asked for something to happen, something happened. This qualifies, right? A girlfriend had given her body to a boy at the circus, and I think as a payment for that or whatever, she got to release all the animals from the circus. So she released the elephant. The elephant went to the church and woke her boyfriend up. So there was a little miracle. And then I saw, and then some other miracles happened. And then I realized, little by little, that there was a whole bunch of miracles before that I hadn't noticed, actually. And then I realized that the whole movie was a miracle. Every single thing that happened in the movie was a miracle. In other words... I got a little insight that everything that happens all day long for eternity has been miracles.

[36:37]

And there's one thing that wasn't a miracle. One miracle didn't happen. And that's the one that I was expecting. That one will probably never happen to anybody. The miracles are in the realm beyond hearing and seeing. That's how they come about. And in the realm of seeing and hearing, you can see everything as a miracle, or you can hope for something in this realm, and you can say that it happened or not happened, but basically the ones you want to happen aren't going to happen. I propose that. But miracles are happening all the time. One of the things we call these miracles is sentient beings. But also non-sentient beings are also miracles. So I was talking to Chris today about some commentary on the story of insentient beings expounding the dharmas, you know, walls, tiles and pebbles expounding the dharmas.

[37:43]

Insentient beings also are miracles. Walls, tiles and pebbles are also miracles. And to care for each thing as though it were a miracle, to realize that each thing is the manifestation of Buddha nature. This is called observing things with eyes of compassion. So sitting in meditation, you've got nothing else to do but realize that this is a miracle. Or give it the kind of attention you would give to something if it was a miracle. But without even saying miracle, just appreciate it as it is. As though you were extending Buddha's compassion to this sentient being. as though you were coming right down there to this body and this mind and also your neighbors and across the room and everything everywhere that you actually really appreciated, not in theory, but in actual attention to detail. You really did appreciate everything and you really did feel radically polite towards everything and you wanted to train everything, but on its schedule, not yours.

[38:52]

And you want to help everybody, but on their schedule. You want to save them when they want to be saved, the way they want to be saved, rather than the way you want to save them. We want to do these miracles for people. I've got various miracles that pop in my head that I could perform on some of your people. And the closer I get to you, the more ideas I get about miracles that I could pull off. But you're not asking me for these miracles. And if I impose these miracles upon you, sometimes I can see quite clearly that it would be very disrespectful for me to perform this miracle. Yes? What? You want a miracle? Yeah. What do you want? Tell me the one you want. What do I want? You have free choice. Just tell us the miracle you want, and we will assist you. I've got a bunch of ideas for miracles with you, but you're not asking me for those.

[39:59]

Well, okay, ask me then. What? How so? I feel like asking now so that, you know, so you can be polite about telling us what's there for us, so that it's asking you ourselves. Really? Well, I want to teach you how to ride a bicycle. Well, go ahead. Yeah. I want to be there when you learn how to fly. So when you want to fly, I would be honored if you would ask me to assist you, you know, to be right there when you jump and me to give you a hand. When you're ready to do it, I'd like to be there. I want to see you learn. But you have to tell me, now teach me this. You say, okay, I want to go north. Now you teach me to go north. And I want to go right now. It's not like, again, I have various miracles, but those are not the miracles whose time has come.

[41:04]

That's just my karmic mind, which I have to accept and live with, my karmic mind. That's not what you should come and ask me to do. No. You should come and ask me what you want to do. Someday it might correspond to my karmic mind. That might happen. But a lot of the things I have in mind, I will never be asked to assist them. And I have to live with that. So in a way what you're saying, the key thing is to figure out what the miracle that you want is. Once again? The key thing is to figure out what miracle you want. In a sense, that's my karmic work. I mean, that's my karmic activity. My job is to accept that I have a karmic mind which has miracles in mind, and I have to accept to be with that. And while I'm with that, people will come up to me and ask me to do things which I wasn't planning on doing, and I can assist them on those.

[42:08]

But if I'm not keeping track of my karmic motivations, if I'm not willing to admit that I'm a deluded being who's got these trips in mind, like training my nephew to have good manners, or helping my daughter with bicycles, or teaching priests and monks various monastic exercise programs, if I don't have that in mind, that that's my deluded thing, then I'll act on it, then I'll be driven by it. And even so I'll be driven by it, probably. At least I can admit I have these delusions, I'm being driven by them. That's my job. That makes me somewhat susceptible to being ready when I'm asked to do something which was not my delusion to maybe be helpful. But even that's a little bit I'm not quite right because actually the helpfulness is not something I do. As I said in the example, if I'm these conditions of my life, which are to have various miracles in mind or hopes in mind, I just accept the conditions in my mind and life and karma.

[43:22]

That, together with the bodhi mind, that together makes my karmic mind as it is with the hand held out in the world. Which, if I accept myself this way, I also accept other people as the conditions of their life. And they also are a freely held out hand to me and all sentient beings. But it's very subtle, this thing. So it can easily slip into me setting you up or trying to get you to guess what I want to teach you. And that's part of the trickiness of it, is that You know, that's not excluded, that thing about trying to guess what... And particularly if somebody was very polite to you and was not imposing her trips on you, that would be a very likely person you'd like to guess what they would like you to learn. Somebody who doesn't respect you very much and just trying to lay their trip on you, this person you're not particularly interested to guess what they would like you to learn.

[44:23]

Because, of course, they're stupid because they don't respect you, right? They think you should do this, this, and this, rather than they really want to see... What do you want to do? What do you want to learn? But still in that is a subtle thing of, you know, what do they want me to learn? Yeah. One is that it seems like it is actually helpful to put that pike for BC and to ask with some regularity Let me teach you to ride the bike. Even though there may be a few years between that and the person asking, because you put it in their mind, the possibility. So that guidance helps prepare somebody for options.

[45:24]

Right. But the other thing that occurred to me is that at the point that you say in a general way, I want you to help me, then you could have a narrower or a broader request. And once you have made perhaps broad requests, then within that, there might be a lot of... of teaching that you didn't expect and it's hard to take and so on and so forth, but it would be in a broader... I don't know when you say you or... I don't know who you're referring to when you say this. Are you saying that the daughter says to the father, teach me in general, teach me in a broad sense? Are you saying... No, I'm past the daughter example. I'm thinking of us here in the monastery

[46:28]

A monk in a monastery saying to somebody else in the monastery that they, generally speaking, would like some instruction? I guess I think there's an implication. First, and secondly, I'm not supposed to say it to you. I'm at the monastery to accept its teachings, and I would like your teachings. And I'm not sure what they're going to be, but I want you to know that I'm open to them. Right. Then at that point, he'd still get in trouble because I still might not like it if he did, be destructive. Uh-huh. But... Okay. And you said, I'm partly allowing you to say something to me which I might have trouble with. Mm-hmm. Okay. And what I'm saying tonight is that people sometimes say to somebody, I allow you to abuse me. And I'm saying, tonight I'm saying that you, that I'm proposing a radical politeness where you do not accept the person's permission for you to abuse them.

[47:39]

This is a new thing. Yes? I'd like to make a note. I noticed with Bill and with Jake and you and Regina, not only did you were asking... I just want to say I really like the way that you said, I want to see you free. And I felt that, in that sense, in a way that you not only were the person asking you to say, yes, I want free, but you were kind of being, in a sense, as wanting to see that, what it's going to be, what it seems to be. Both coming together and meeting. Not, I'm going to teach you for your good. I'm going to learn this from my good. Hopefully that's right.

[48:42]

We've gone out and spoken. I want to see you become free. And, you know, however it is. That's what I think. That's what I think. Coming together. And there was a time when she said, OK, let go. And me letting go and not doing anything was also part of it. She knew I was back there watching her take off without helping her anymore. She was also saying, I don't need you anymore. That's part of it, too. I've quoted this to you before too. What is it? Thoreau said, all you need to do is sit still long enough in an attractive spot in the forest or the woods for all the inhabitants to present themselves to you in turn. For all the inhabitants to present themselves to you in turn. And for me, the key point that I'm trying to stress there is that they come to you when they want to.

[49:47]

Not when, you know, okay, now today I'd like the raccoons to come. No. The problems, this is, again, this applies to your own internal states. So I say to myself, I'd like today to deal with anger, but anger doesn't come. Instead, lust comes or whatever, you know, or confusion or fear. They come in their turn, and that's very important, that you learn it on their schedule, not yours. And another way to put it is, this radical business is, I say I want to learn how to practice meditation. So I say it to myself, so I read books on meditation. This is my choice. I get that information, and then I can abuse myself with it. I can try to get myself to do the meditation instruction which I had just willfully, voluntarily read about and learned.

[50:49]

Now, of course, since I just read the book, it would be very useful, while I still can remember it, to go up to Zendo and apply it. But that may not be the one I want to do when I get there. But still, since I just read the book, that's the one we'd like to do today, please. So I do the same thing to myself. Even though I said, in a sense, I want to learn, and I read the book to learn, and then I went up there and... But sometimes, even though I say, yes, I want to learn, and the teacher or inside or outside the teacher says, okay, I'm not going to teach you what you asked me to learn, you still might feel like, well, I'm sorry, but I'd rather not learn that today. On the other hand, you feel to some extent, I'd better not say that because I just asked for this instruction, so wouldn't it be rude and ungrateful, now that I asked for it, to say, sorry, I changed my mind? Wouldn't it be rude? Well, I don't know. But from the point of view of the one who is offering the teaching to others or myself...

[51:55]

Even though she asked me for the instruction, I still may say over again, did you really want me to give you this instruction? In such a way that she doesn't have to be rude to say, well, no, I don't want to do this practice today. It's real. I mean, I know it's read in all the books. I know it's one of the, you know, best meditations that there are, and we should all do this meditation, it's one of the basic ones, and I asked you to teach me, and actually before, I was like studying it right along with you, but now I don't want it. I'd rather do something else. What is it I want to do? I'd like you to recognize my freedom rather than my discipline, actually, today. I'd like you to witness that I'm free, that I don't have to go along with the program which I just agreed to do with you. We went to the trouble of making this agreement. We did it voluntarily, and now I want to be free of it. Can I really be free?

[52:58]

Will you actually watch me go away and not need you anymore? These are two sides of our own mind. You act it out with other people, both in terms of them asking you to help, and you trying to help them, and also you asking them to help, and you refusing to help. We do it inside and outside. This is the issues, this is part of the dynamic and complexity of Zazen practice. Yeah. This is the other side that, again, you just touched on, but would I like to... bring up some more, which is the side that, like the side of making a vow, and then despite how you might feel later, you know, the usefulness of following that vow. And one example could be just like coming here, and we talked about this a little last back up here, and that that's what you really want to do, deciding that's what you want to do.

[54:03]

Even though here you might say, well, now I really don't want to do this. Now we have pre-content kids to come around and help you get out and make sure you do it, even though you might be saying, well, I really don't want to do this. But then there's that question of the vow. And actually, that kind of problem comes up a lot for me in certain activities that I want myself to do and trying to figure out whether I really want to do them or not. But there's a side that, like you said, or it seems to be emphasized tonight, of paying attention to what, not abusing myself, and really trying to see what I really want to do. And it is a side of, that that just might be sort of letting myself in a larger picture. continue doing what I really decided I didn't want to do anymore. I wasn't happy with habits or something like that. So I think it's really difficult to know what's abuse and what's useful about, or what's an intention for the larger scope that is stronger than whether you want to do something today or not.

[55:23]

Well, useful vows are, for me, pretty easy to spot. But how to apply them is very difficult. To save all sentient beings is really a good vow. I had no problem with that. Also, to become free of affliction, to cut through our afflictions and attachments, it's really good. But how to apply it is very difficult, very complex, inwardly and outwardly. Very difficult. That's, and that's, in that sense, I think we offer each other these forms here at Tassajara. So, you know, like, for example, somebody told me that she's going to, every time she eats, for some period of time, she's going to do the meal chant from innumerable labors. Thank you. It's all day long. You know, so like, If it's snack time, you know, or like at meals, of course we do that.

[56:29]

So for three meals here, that's got that, right? But what about between meals? What about like when you go to the back area, the back area? What about in the back? There also, this vow would be that she would chant that before she eats. And of course, if you do that, you might not eat. but it would change the way you eat. Now, is this to make this thing holy or just to bring your attention to the fact that you're eating? Various ways you could apply it, but again, if you want to do that, that would be a way for you to bring yourself to the person and observe this sentient being that's eating. If you do this chant, maybe you could watch yourself with compassion eat. Now, this is what she wants to do, and she has to figure out how to do that in a compassionate way, but that's a possible form that would help her look at how she's eating and watch how she eats and see if there's compassion there, to see if she allows herself to eat it, to see if she allows herself to eat it, to see if she allows herself to be this person.

[57:34]

But if I don't stop, if she doesn't stop, I think she thinks, if I don't stop and do that meal chant, I may eat, but consciously or unconsciously, you know, criticize myself for eating, saying, you know, you're overweight, you're eating compulsively again. She's bad-mouthing herself while she's eating, consciously or unconsciously. She's not really being compassionate with herself because she's not there. She's somewhere far, far away stuffing her face. And maybe she's not even stuffing her face. She doesn't even know. She might be eating very nicely, but she basically feels like she's on a bad trip because she ain't there. If she can be there, there's a chance she can be compassionate with herself. But there's also a chance that she can not be compassionate to herself, but if she's there in the neighborhood, she might be able to tell that she's a little bit judgmental in the way she's eating. And there she can say, well, that's, you know, I didn't say I was going to be judgmental, but here it is. And to see that is also compassion, to notice that. There's so many things like that throughout the day.

[58:38]

In everybody's life, particularly at Tassajara, there's so many opportunities like that where we can be there and watch carefully how we're treating ourselves. How we do or do not face what we're doing. How we do and do not face our posture. How we do and do not notice that we stand this way or that way. It's very subtle. This is this thing about observing sentient beings with eyes of compassion. And another example that Dogen says is we must find these eyes which see Buddha. It's the same thing. And the eyes that see Buddha... means that you are tolerant, stable, peaceful, and practice all virtues.

[59:50]

It's hard to actually be there with yourself eating or walking or whatever if you're not tolerant of yourself. stable and peaceful and practice all virtues. And what does it mean to practice all virtues? He says it means to go into the mud to help those who are sunk in it and to enter the water to help those who are drowning. That is to see Buddha. To see Buddha means you're willing to go into these situations with yourself and with others. Yeah. So if the people that you think need to be saved don't think they need to be saved, then you can just wait until then? You go into the mud with the person who doesn't think he wants to be saved. Rather than going into the mud with the person who you think does want to be saved.

[60:53]

That's not the mud that's here today. This is a neighboring mud. which you'd rather go on. If I'm going to go in the mud, I want to be there with somebody who wants me to save her. I don't want to have to get muddy and also be with somebody who doesn't want me to do anything for her. At least a little respect would be good. A little appreciation. But that's not the situation. The situation is she's In situation X, and situation X is she does not want me to do anything, but that's what is here. There's a person in front of me, or perhaps a person inside of me, who is sitting in meditation, who does not want me to save her, who does not want me to get her concentrated, who does not want me to entertain her, or who does not want me to bore her, with the meditation program which I've set up. This is inside and outside the same thing. But this is the mud I must walk into.

[61:55]

I must be with this person who is really bored and does not want to be here, and does not want me to be here with her. That's going into the mud. And if you do go into that mud, this is called having the eyes which see Buddha. If you don't see Buddha, you won't go in that mud. Seeing Buddha means you can go into this mud. Not seeing Buddha means you only go into certain high-quality areas which you like. That's called being deluded. That's called following my idea of the program and getting this person or that person to go along with it. That's not called seeing Buddha. That's called being deluded. That is delusion. In other words, I, this is the definition of delusion, I am going to practice this. That's delusion. Rather than, this is what's going to be practiced, and here I am. This is what she's going to do today, and I'm here with her doing this.

[63:01]

That's not delusion. That's enlightenment. And that is going into the mud that I didn't set up. And that's not easy. That requires dropping body and mind. And it also requires being intimate with myself because I'm intimate with myself rather than I'm intimate with myself, which I bring to the situation. I'm intimate with the real self. In other words, all things are enlightening me. All things are realizing me. Ten thousand things enlighten you. Also, if you say ten thousand things, the word means not wake up in the sense of breakthrough illusion. It means realize. Ten thousand things realize you. That's going into the mud. That's dropping body and mind. That's zazen. That dimension of zazen.

[64:04]

Study the self. Forget the self. Be realized by everything and drop body and mind. These are different four aspects of zazen. So what do you think? Do you accept that? Does that make sense to you? To do such a far-off practice? If we want to be there when others are free, we have to do it. Right, if you want to watch this wonderful, if you want to watch the miracles popping out there, you've got to be there, because the miracles happen in the mud. It's not such a, you know, it's okay. It's a miracle, actually, that birds keep flying. That's a miracle, too. Not my idea of a miracle. What I'd like to see is the first time they fly, and after they fly, it continues to be a miracle that they keep going. That's awesome. They get enlightened beyond enlightenment. They learn beyond learning. So I have to be there in the mud and the sky and the mud and the water.

[65:08]

And Dogen is really great at, you know, just, he keeps charging beyond realization. And so he's sitting there waiting to, he and his predecessors and successors are, you know, offering further instruction from this point of deportment beyond hearing and seeing. But if you don't basically agree with the program of not doing anything and observing sentient beings with eyes of compassion, then we should get that straight, you know, before we go on from there. I can imagine that that maybe this doesn't make sense yet, but I'd like to sort of get the basic concept there so we can work from there. Yes.

[66:10]

The idea of this radical politeness kind of worries me a little bit, because we're wondering about holding back Did you hear what she said? She said it seemed like radical politeness would be holding yourself back. That's not radical politeness. Radical politeness means you actually feel polite towards a person. It isn't like you kind of like think, this person is a trash heap and I'm not going to abuse them. That's not polite. That's just restraining yourself from abusing them. Radical politeness means you actually think that you've got a dignified thing here. You've got a person of great dignity as they are. Again, I loved my daughter prior to her learning how to ride the bicycle. I didn't love her at all more afterwards.

[67:15]

If you don't love the person already, then restraining yourself from abusing them is not radical politeness. It's maybe a good idea. But radical politeness comes from eyes of compassion, that you actually allow the person to be this creature, to be this girl who does not want to learn how to ride a bicycle today. So if I don't really accept her as a person who does not want to ride a bicycle, then yes, don't. Don't force people who you don't accept to do anything. Stay far away from them. Leave people alone that you don't accept. Yes, restrain yourself. But that's not radical politeness. That's just restraining an impolite person. Radically polite beings do not have to be restrained. They can walk right up to people and say, hello. That's the thing about radical politeness. You can interact then because you really deeply respect this person as they are.

[68:19]

In other words, you observe them with eyes of compassion. Now, if you don't observe yourself with eyes of compassion, it's going to be tough to do that with other people. And, of course, it is pretty hard for us to sit on our zafu and observe this person with eyes of compassion. Since students often are not looking at themselves with eyes of compassion, they come and tell me how they see themselves, and this is not report compassion. of seeing themselves with eyes of compassion. It is the report of someone who's looking at herself or himself with judgmental eyes. Such a person is not being very polite at all. Not to mention be radically polite. I mean like flat out accepting the person and appreciating them as they are. And not thinking that they need to be improved at all. This is hard for us to look at ourselves. To look at your meditation practice and On some level, not want to improve the situation at all.

[69:24]

On some level, not want to gain anything from practice. That's radical politeness. Radical. At the root, polite. If I'm not that with myself, then to that extent, basically it will be reflected in my attitude towards others. So if I look at myself when I'm sitting, It's not too bad, but you couldn't, it's not really, I can't really accept this posture. Really, I don't. So, I don't accept hers either. So then I walk around and adjust all these postures and actually everybody has got lousy posture. If I sit and look at my posture minutely at all the things that it involves, and I really get down close to the bone, and I actually say, okay, Rev, you can have this posture. You can have this posture and this posture and, ooh, and that one and that one and that one and this one.

[70:33]

That's easy. Fine. And this one. If I do that with myself, then I can walk around and adjust postures, and I'm not bringing these misshapen creatures back into line. I am making a suggestion. What's a suggestion? Try this. It should come with respect. If I don't respect the person, I don't think I should touch them. And again, I have to practice Zazen with myself and keep checking out, because it can grow up in me again too. Your practice is not so good. Your concentration is not so good. My concentration is not good. My concentration is not bad, and nobody else's is good or bad. It's just the mind says it's good or bad. And my mind will keep saying it's good or bad, but that's another thing to look at with eyes of compassion. Here's my mind saying, oh, this is good, this is bad.

[71:33]

And this posture is good and this posture is bad. But somebody is not doing that. This is called, you know, the one who has eyes of compassion is not judging. It's actually letting me sit like this. That's called just sitting. Of course, judging is going on in the trees, in the wind, and on the walls. In every place in the universe, there's judging. But there's also just sitting. and there's no judgment, and that's eyes of compassion observing this person sit. Those eyes, then when they relate to other people, they don't have to restrain themselves. And they can go up and they can touch, and they can talk. This is how you can just sit. Just sit. You can let yourself just sit. And you can take care of yourself, and maybe you're going to miss some periods of zazen because you don't want to go.

[72:44]

Maybe that's really what you want to do. Maybe you really don't want to go. But if you really don't want to go, and you're really respectful to yourself, and you're really polite to yourself, and you really let yourself be that way, and then you want to do that, you can also be respectful to the tenken. And you can say, brother, you know, I love you, but I'm not going to come to this end of this period. And if you want to talk about it, I'm happy to talk to the Yino, Tanto, Docho, the Doa, the Tenzo. I'll even talk to him in English. Because I'm accepting myself, I accept them. I don't want to cause any trouble. This is not to cause trouble. But if it does cause trouble, I'm sorry. I really am. I don't mean, this is not the agenda here to cause trouble. This is just, this is what I think is best right now. And once in a while that might happen, that people, you know, arrange their lives to come up here and live in these mountains, and just to be here to practice meditation, and sometimes they really, actually do not want to go.

[73:51]

I mean, really. Rather than just they're kind of resisting a little bit, but really they do want to go. Or they're scared. If you practice zazen sincerely, you could be frightened to go up in there because this is going to be a big deal here. Every period is now going to be like, are you going to actually sit? Are you actually going to enjoy your life up there this period and let yourself be this person there, freezing or hot or cold or stupid or lazy or whatever? Are you going to actually go up there and have this hand stretched out in the world? Are you going to actually realize that? I can see why you'd be afraid to do that. The question comes up for me then, why have a schedule at all and why don't we just, okay, I feel like sitting now, so I'll go sit now and not have a schedule.

[74:52]

Somebody wants to get up at 3 and sit all day long until midnight, why don't we just do that? When I talk like this, those thoughts occur in my mind too. In other words, you and I no longer have to be afraid to think such thoughts. We can think about completely changing the program here. It's OK. Our mind can do that now. We don't have to like, don't think of that. And also, don't say anything because people might think that. And then what will happen? Then they'll maybe say it out loud. And then we'll have to have a meeting. If everybody thought that now and everybody said it, we'd have a meeting and we'd probably come up with a schedule again. Maybe it would be different. Maybe it'd be upside down. I don't know. Who cares? The point is, we're free. We can do whatever we want. This is freedom camp, you know? We can dance all night if we want to, but you people want to go to bed, right?

[75:56]

Because you probably think we're going to have the same schedule tomorrow. Because you know, usually, we have practice committees, right? If you want to have us change the schedule, let us know. We'll talk about it. Now, you might say, I got this other thought. And the thought is, let's not talk to the practice committee about it. Let's just decide right now to not have a schedule. And guess what, ladies and gentlemen? If you people want to not have a schedule tomorrow, we can decide right now not to have a schedule. Let's dance all night. We can do that. We can not have a schedule tomorrow. Now, if that happens, then the Dons will have another meeting probably and talk about, well, should we hit the bells and horns and stuff as usual? And the shoe sole will come to say, well, should I ring the bell? And I'll probably say, why don't you go ahead and ring it? See what they do. What do you think? And she'll say, I'd like to ring it. And then you hear the bell and you say, God, that's great. We decided to have no schedule. And now this person is running up and down in the middle of the night yelling, you know, good morning and ringing bells and stuff. It's beautiful.

[76:58]

I'm not going to go. You know, because we decided I didn't have to. Or you might get up and go sit anyway. You might. But we can decide tomorrow. There's no schedule. In other words, there's no schedule, but some people will probably go sit. I'll probably go sit, even if we don't have a schedule. Why? Because one time, you know, when Mel was ringing the bell during Sashin, he rang it too early. in the city center. He rang the bell too early. Then he went up and down the halls telling people, I made a mistake, go back to bed. Suzuki Roshi got up and went to the zendo, and nobody was there. So he went back to his room. Then Bell Mel rang the bell again, I think, and everybody went to the zendo. And he went down there and he said, the tankin rang the bell too early, and you people went, and he said, go back to bed.

[78:02]

And then you people went back to bed. What are you doing?" And he went around and he hit everybody and we cried, not because he was hurting us, but because he loved us and we knew that's what he felt. And so I'll go to Zendo probably, even if you call the schedule off, even if I call the schedule off, I'll probably go anyway. Why? Because I want to. I don't have to have a schedule to go and you don't have to have a schedule to go either. So if you guys want to do that tomorrow, we can have no schedule and see what happens. I'm happy that we can do that. Let's not have a schedule tomorrow. OK, let's not have a schedule tomorrow. If that's what you guys want to do, you want to do that? How about a schedule that starts at 8? Now, wait a minute. Do we want to change the schedule or not have a schedule? If there's no schedule, it doesn't start any time. It never starts and it never stops.

[79:04]

What? Yeah, they won't. If there's no schedule, maybe there's no schedule. Now, does that mean you don't cook? There's no schedule, there's no cooking? There's no eyes either? And ears? And tongue? Is that what you want to do tomorrow? What do you say? What do you want to do? I don't care. I don't care. Oh, it's not now, is it? Well, it does pretty much have to be unanimous, doesn't it? Oh. No? But if it's not unanimous and what happens is not what you want, please observe that with eyes of compassion. And if you get angry at those people or yourself or whatever, please observe that anger with eyes of compassion. And I don't know how we'll ever put this monastery back together again.

[80:07]

Chris and T are leaving town. You know, I went to a ceremony in Japan one time. There's one minute to go. Can I tell a story? There's no schedule. You people can walk out when I'm telling the story. It was an animal releasing ceremony in Japan. And so these priests were wearing these fancy robes, fancier than usual. And they brought in these cartons full of chickens and put them up on the altar. It was an outdoor ceremony. put these chickens up on the altar and made these offerings and did this chanting. And at the end of the ceremony, at the climax of the ceremony, they opened the cages and the chickens flew out. And then they did this chanting and the chickens were all over the place. And then we had this kind of like reception afterwards with lovely Japanese food and drink.

[81:14]

And then I noticed that the chickens were crawling back into the cages. I don't know if they were trained to do that. They use these chickens over and over. So you people may be cherub ceremonial chickens. So I don't know. We'll see what you do. So let's just do this. Is that okay with you? That's absolutely fine. Okay, so let's just do this thing. We don't know what we're doing, okay? And see what happens. And... Various, various departments will be consulting with each other. Each sentient being will consult with himself and herself to try to figure out how to cope. You have to talk, yeah, you have to decide not to go to sleep. You have a lot of decisions. Well, no, you may decide to go back to the monastery.

[82:18]

Now, you don't need a schedule when you're together with your friends to chant something, right? Just say, let's chant. May our intentions

[82:37]

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