Zen comrades, honored followers of Zen, today I would like to consider with you the great bodhisattva precept of no sexual greed and this precept is offered as a guide for all bodhisattvas to help them realize their burning desire to bring the greatest possible benefit to all sentient beings before themself.

[01:04]

Again, today I would offer, in some sense, two approaches or two aspects of studying this precept. One is the conventional side, from the side of the world where there is greed, where there is self and other separated. where we acknowledge our belief in separation and the greed that is born from that belief. And the other approach or other aspect of study is that of

[02:24]

the compassionate meaning and the ultimate meaning of the precept. That's actually three aspects, but the first aspect falls under the heading of recognizing the harm It can arise from sexual greed and protecting beings from that harm. The conventional approach is an attempt to acknowledge harmful potential of sexual greed and thus to render us harmless and protect beings.

[03:39]

The other side is about after becoming harmless, how to become beneficial. It's not impossible to be of some benefit at the same time that there's some harm, but we are concerned with the greatest benefit. And so to assure that, we first practice harmlessness and then beneficence. And the beneficial side has these two aspects, one, a compassionate aspect, and the other, the ultimate. And in the compassionate aspect, we mean that sometimes it's necessary for bodhisattvas to break the precept in a conventional sense in order to fulfill the compassionate purpose of their life.

[04:52]

At the ultimate level, one finally reaches perfect accord with the precept. And it is never necessary to be out of accord in order to benefit beings. So looking at the conventional approach now, I'd like to begin just by defining the word greed from an ordinary dictionary. Greed is a rapacious desire for more than one needs or deserves. That's greed. And rapacious is an interesting word. It's related to the word rapture. or rapere, which means to seize.

[06:04]

It means taking by force, plundering, greedy. It means subsisting on live prey. Sexual greed is a kind of, that kind of thing, of feeding some kind of demon on live prey. A kind of vampirism. A seriously harmful use of our precious life. And so bodhisattva's sincerely endeavor to protect beings from the power of such greed. And such greed is powerful because at its root is this belief in separation.

[07:24]

which we so terribly want to end and misguidedly think that grabbing something will close the gap. And we will do anything, if we feel this gap, to close it. At the conventional level, the gap is still there, however. We haven't yet seen through it. We have not yet closed that wound. We must recognize that in our wounded state, we are dangerous to ourselves, most of all, and to others, too. You can see from the definition of greed that sexual greed is actually sexual stealing.

[08:27]

Like it or not, if we are not intimate with our sexual self, we are sexually wounded. And in this wounded state, we are liable to sexual stealing, sexual lying, sexual greed, and so on. So we must become intimate with the fact of our woundedness, of our greed, to whatever extent is there. Again, this is bitter work. And unless we are intimate with this greed, we are liable and susceptible to it from inside and outside.

[09:41]

The closer we get, the more we face up to the conditions of this greed, the closer we get to seeing his dependent core rising and the more beings are protected from it. For many years, after moving to California, I could barely use the word share, as in, thanks for sharing that with me.

[11:05]

I also have a slight aversion to saying famous Zen story. But anyway, there is a famous Zen story. That's the problem. Zen stories are famous. They're so good. As a matter of fact, There's lots of stories from other traditions, like Sufism, Judaism, you know, Native American, African, you know. But gradually, as they hold over and over again, they turn into famous, they turn into Zen stories. People can't remember now, is that a Chinese story or a Mongolian story? Oh, it's a Zen story. Anyway, this is an actual Zen story, maybe. It took place in China. A woman supported a monk by building a meditation hut for him and feeding him for 20 years. So at some point, she was rather old.

[12:10]

She wanted to see if all her patronage had done any good and made a bodhisattva out of this meditator. So she decided to test him. And she found, in some stories they say her niece, in some stories they say just a young girl, rich in desire. And she told the girl to go visit the monk and to make a pass at him. So she did. She went. without much ado, as they say, he started caressing him. Oh no, I forgot one part. The woman said, start caressing him and then at that moment say to him, what is it? And so she did that.

[13:17]

She caressed him and then she said, Well, what is it? And he said something like, this old withered tree is of no use. And she went back and reported this to the woman, and the woman got very angry. She said, at least he could have offered you some warmth in your state of need. There's no loving kindness in his response. But she went and burned his hut. So he protected, in some sense, against his greed. But we can't tell whether he really was intimate with it. And in some sense, even though you may try to restrain your greed in order to protect beings, you can still hurt them, even in that case.

[14:29]

So there's a skill in protecting. All fathers of daughters have this kind of problem. I think almost all. There is the possibility of some sense of separation and the desire on both parts to be free of the pain of that separation. And so some fathers play around with that, are too informal, to say the least. And there is misuse of the situation. But some are too strict or too stiff and too cold.

[15:34]

And they similarly hurt. how to come close to that point of anxiety and settle with it so that the girl is protected. Very difficult to find that place, but that's the job that's necessary to accomplish. And my daughter was about eight years old.

[16:37]

Well, let me say before that, that from the time my daughter was born, I gave her baths. So I was very close to her from the time she was a baby. Naked little girl in father's hands. be washed for many years together. If we had time today, I would tell you many wonderful bathtub stories. I got to tell you one, but you want to hear more than one? I mean, you want to hear one or two? Well, the first one is really the last one. I mean, the one I've got to tell you is the last bathtub story. But there's some other ones before that. This will make the lecture quite a bit longer. It already has. Anyway, one time we were in the bathtub together, and her mom was...

[17:46]

Her mother was out of town for some reason. So not only were we in the bathtub together, but the mom wasn't even in the house. She had me all to herself. Temporary victory. So there we were, and she said, let's go in the kitchen and get all the dishes. and break them and throw them in mom's bed. I said, okay, let's go. She said, no. The little girl doesn't really want to get rid of mom. She just wants to have dad all to herself, that's all.

[18:49]

Anyway, there are many other bathtub stories which I can tell you on some other occasion. Then before this last bathtub story, when she was about eight, she started to, she was very, I say, very intimate with me and she was crawling all over me in front of her friends. And I could tell what she was doing was trying to show her friends, see what I can do to my dad, see what I can get by with, see what he lets me do. And then later I said, you know, I don't mind you doing this, but I feel like you're kind of like trying to show off with your friends how intimate you are with me. I think we should stop it. And then around that time, Actually, it wasn't me that thought of it all by myself, but the mother, my wife, and also her grandmother, my mother-in-law, thought maybe it was about time for her to stop taking baths with dad.

[19:55]

Actually, it hadn't occurred to me yet, but when they said it, I understood that it was time. And, you know, for me, this was a big loss because, you know, this was one of my main contacts with her. I'm not the person to go shopping with her. I don't give her haircuts or take her to get haircuts. I don't take her to get her ears pierced and so on and so forth. I'm kind of out of a lot of stuff. I can tag along, but mostly they just want me to be sheltered. I'm not really into that stuff, so this is one area I had of intimacy with her, and now I had to give it up. But I knew it was right. So one night in the bathtub, I said, actually I must confess, the first time I brought it up, I said, your mom thinks that maybe it's about time. But then I changed it to, I think it's time that we stopped taking baths together.

[21:04]

And she said, why? And I said, well, wouldn't it be funny if your mom took baths with your mom's dad, with your grandfather? Wouldn't that be funny? And she said, yeah. I said, well, have you noticed that you're getting to be more like your mom? Can you see how it's kind of like getting to be the same thing? And she said, yeah. So I guess we won't take baths anymore. And she said, okay. She didn't cry, but she was sad, and so was I. Later that night, she came into her parents' bedroom and just stuck her head into the door and looked in and said, hi.

[22:16]

And her mother said, are you sad? And she said, yes. And her mother said, well, you know your dad still loves you, don't you? And she said, yes. And I think maybe she came in and sat on her bed. And I don't know what I actually saw, but now in my memory, what I saw was in her eyes, I saw her looking out from where she was and seeing a horizon. And on that horizon, she saw something coming, something she'd never known before, but which was now possible. And she was sad to lose this time with her father, but she was very happy to be moving towards his new life, which she vaguely sensed.

[23:20]

I don't know if I did my job just right then. It's very delicate not to reject with coldness and lack of loving kindness on one side and on the other side not to dally and tease and confuse on the other. With the aid of mother and grandmother and psychotherapist, I tried to find that place and guide her When Suzuki Roshi first came to America, he came without his wife. And being the only Zen master around in the days of the hippies, even though he was rather old, he was cute.

[24:29]

And certain ladies sometimes locked themselves into the temple at night. They hid when he locked up the temple at night. came up to his room. And he had to work that out without hurting them by rejection and without getting involved with them. Somehow get them to go stay someplace else. And he always managed to do so. Sometimes he had to make some telephone calls to get some help, but they never stayed over. But it hurt his heart to be that way, to have to draw that line with these people.

[25:32]

He didn't know how to do it. In Japan, women didn't do that. They knew what the rules were. But in America, they didn't understand exactly what this guy was. When I came to Zen Center, I came to study with Suzuki Roshi. That was one of my main reasons. I saw him, and I liked him. He wasn't what I expected, but he was the best I'd ever seen in the Zen teacher department. I've read about more interesting people, but this is the best one I'd ever seen. So I stayed to study with him. And I looked for every opportunity to study with him. And he noticed, and I knew he noticed.

[26:34]

But he was cool with me. Again, I can tell many stories about that. But basically, he was cool with me. And one elder brother told me, that Suzuki Roshi had been cool with him, very cool, for a year and a half, one time. Even though he was very active and very close to Suzuki Roshi, Suzuki Roshi was cold to him. So I took that as this was not real coldness, but something he was doing, which he did for, he did for certain students. And then after about a year and a half myself, and like I say, I was working very closely with him, but he was cool. One day I said, well, I'm going to Tassajara. And he wasn't going to come at that time.

[27:41]

And he said, this was like January of 1970, January 1970, I believe. And he said, I want you to learn to chant from Tatsugami Roshi, who was coming from Japan to teach chanting and things like that. He was Eno of Eheiji. And he said, I want you to learn chanting from him. And then he took my hands, which he never did before, and shook my hand. And the warmth was there. The warmth of all the Buddhas and all the ancestors came through his little hand.

[28:48]

And I knew that those years of his coolness were for my good. If he had touched me like that at the beginning, I would have been distracted, probably trying to get more of that. But he left me alone so that I could be sure that I was at Zen Center for the Dharma, not for his warmth, not to get his warmth from me. He could see by my behavior in those early years that I was not there to get his approval. I did want his approval, but that was not my main reason for being there. My main reason for being there was to practice with him. and to practice the practice that he practiced, that all Buddhas practice. That's why I was there.

[29:51]

And his warmth meant a great deal to me. But if he didn't give it to me, I'd keep practicing with him forever. But then he gave me a little hint, and he showed me his love. And I never will forget that moment. But if he had shown that to... Or if he had shown it to another, to a woman, a woman student, it could have been very, very confusing. Until practice is settled, until we have an adult, or nearly an adult, And this is a bitter, sometimes heartbreaking work to withhold the warmth.

[30:54]

So, as part of the practice we must become in touch with our sense of warmth that we feel towards others. We must become in touch with any greed we feel towards others, any greed we feel about sexuality. We must bring it up and bring it out in front of us. If we don't bring it forth, As Jesus said, it will destroy us. But if we can bring it forth, it will liberate us. If we can bring it forth, at first imperfectly, and then gradually become intimate with it, it will liberate us. So this precept of no sexual greed is not cold at all.

[32:35]

It's just warm enough and is connected to a burning desire to benefit. It's not saying that sex is bad at all. It doesn't say so, but if you think about it, sex is at least a little bit good because sex is a condition for the appearance of baby Buddhas, baby Bodhisattvas, and baby Bodhidharmas. It's good that way. but also it's good because it is the arena for the realization of perfect enlightenment. Given our sexual nature, it requires great uprightness and clarity and compassion.

[33:52]

to be present in a non-greedy way in certain sexual situations. And sex is, this precept of no sexual greed is not about no sex. I feel that celibate monks and nuns can be intimate with their sexuality and realize this precept. This precept is not about no sex, but it is about how celibate people can be healthy. Whether one is celibate or not, If one is not intimate with his or her sexual being, one is not healthy and is not yet sitting upright.

[34:58]

So if we recognize that in our school sex is a condition for the birth of our Buddhas and our Bodhisattvas and our Zen masters, then you might say, well, then I guess you don't have immaculate conception. But actually we do have immaculate conception. That's what this precept is about, is about immaculate conception. But immaculate conception does not mean no sex. It means intimacy with sex. And intimacy with sex is the ultimate meaning of no sexual greed. Intimacy with sex means there is the realization of the suchness of mind and objects.

[36:32]

It means there's no separation between self and other in intimacy. This is purity. This is immaculacy. Intimacy is like putting the last piece into place in a jigsaw puzzle. It's like when you finally learn by heart a great poem A friend of mine said one time, you know, I like sex, but sometimes a good tackle is just as good.

[37:42]

He was a football player. A good tackle, just where you're really neat, is just as good. Intimacy. Or perhaps intimacy is like when you're a fertile plain, a fertile field, and you feel that first sprout coming up in you. First little sprout breaking your surface. It's more than just satisfying. It's settling into the reality. of our sexual nature. It's settling into the reality of passion. Perfectly settling.

[38:49]

Without turning away or touching. Dancing with it. without taking what's not given, without pushing anything on that's not received, in perfect harmony. This precept of no sexual greed His precept of intimacy with sexuality is the gate to true upright sitting. No sexual greed is the Buddha's and ancestors' samadhi. In order to realize the ancestors' samadhi, we must be intimate with our sexual nature.

[40:08]

And being upright is the path to intimacy with our sexuality. Moment by moment, standing, sitting, walking or lying down, we are intimate We are upright with this great ball of fire. If we turn away, we freeze and beings are harmed. If we grab it, we're burned and beings are harmed. We just stay close at the right distance and walk around it, always in touch, always close, to the fact that we are sexual beings and we are descendants of sexual beings. Some of us may not have children born of sex, but for this lifetime, we are sexual beings.

[41:26]

We must stay close, we must be intimate with this passion. And when we are intimate with it, we must enjoy it, enjoy the intimacy, and then share the intimacy with all beings. But again, the way we share is that sometimes we do not immediately reveal it in its full warmth to a new student. We know it's there. We know this infinite love and warmth is there. But we don't reveal it until it's the right time. We stay upright.

[42:34]

We stay close. Constantly. Working with it. Dancing with it. It's always there. It gets stronger or weaker according to circumstances, but we're working with it all the time. And for each of us, there is a story. There is a time which could happen. When our god or goddess appears. At that time, you can't help feeling what you feel.

[43:45]

This is a time when, if there's a slightest discrepancy, we are most likely to fall into greedy grasping or flight, flying away from the situation. But if we can stay present in this situation, we really find our wings. If we can stay present in this one, this is enlightenment. everything is coming just as it should this is the one but it's not asking you to reach out and grab it it is giving you life you just join your palms and bow to this god or goddess

[46:03]

The meaning is wake up. The meaning is not grab me or run away from me. Someone said to me, when I'm in such situations, when I'm in such situations, I can't imagine any other thing to do, any other way to be. And I said, good, that's uprightness. Practice is not to do something else at that time. Practice, practicing upright at that time is not to be able to imagine being any different from the way you are.

[47:15]

You're overwhelmed by this feeling. Like on the verge of a swoon, You're completely entranced by anxiety. You can barely breathe. Being upright is to not be able to think of anything other than this that you're thinking. Not to say, what should I do next? What's required of me? Where do we go?

[48:15]

What do we do with this? Just face the radiance. This is purity. And the great master Nan Yue visited the sixth ancestor, Hui Nung. Hui Nung said, what is it that thus comes? And Nan Yue said, even to say it's this misses the mark. The ancestor said, then is there no practice?

[49:23]

and transformation?" Nanyue said, I don't say there's no practice of transformation. I just say it cannot be defiled. The ancestor said, this non-defilement, this purity, is the way of all buddhas I'm like this and now you're like this too when you're in the moment of the most intense sexuality what is it that thus comes

[50:31]

Can you stay present for that question at that moment and then not even say it's this? Not even say it's this. That creates a wound in your sexuality. To leave it alone is upright sitting. And that seals the wound and heals our sexuality. And then there is no sexual greed.

[51:36]

There is no longing anymore. There's a story about Marlon Brando when he was a student and his acting teacher gave the students an assignment. He said, pretend like you're chickens sitting in a chicken coop. Try it right now. Quietly.

[52:39]

Sitting in the chicken coop quietly. Comfortably, make yourself comfortable. Make yourself comfortable sitting in a comfortable way on your roost in the chicken coop, quietly meditating. And you get news that there's going to be a bomb, an atomic bomb, dropped nearby your chicken coop. And the assignment was, do what you think chickens would do. And all the students did various things. But Marlin, my hero, just sat there. He couldn't imagine the chicken imagining anything. This kind of stupidity is necessary.

[53:47]

When you meet the god of your dreams or the goddess of your dreams, at that time, when you meet them, when you face them, you have no smart ideas. You can't imagine anything else. You just enjoy the meeting. That's it. You don't sort of imagine, well, now should we go to a club? Shall we take a walk? You just face it. But if there is the slightest separation, the slightest wiggling, then you will do something very harmful. You will grab it and you will lose it. Or you will run away from it and you will lose it. And then, once you've lost it, by grabbing or running away, you will forever regret what you did.

[55:00]

And you will always yearn for it back. Next time I'll just be there. I won't grab it. Just let me see it again. Just let me be near it again. That's all I ask for. Turns out you get another chance. It's not too late. But in that yearning, although that yearning is not so bad, it's the seed for greed. It's a seed. It can be turned into a rapacious desire. We must have immaculate relationships. In our practice, as you know, we use ritual mudras.

[56:30]

A mudra means a ring, a circle, or a seal, like something that seals two things together, or like putting a seal on a document. So most mudras that we take on physically or mentally have this round ring-like quality. We have the hand mudra of our meditation practice, and we have the mudra, like many religions around the world, the mudra of joining the palms. Joining the palms is an opportunity to actualize the precept of no greed, no sexual greed.

[57:36]

When a Zen student, a Zen monk, a Zen master completely gives herself to the joining of her palms, There is at that moment just joining the pond. And you can't imagine anything else. You don't imagine anything else. The whole world in ten directions is just her palms joined. Thus she has the competence of Buddha.

[58:48]

This is not great sex. But this is great intimacy with sexuality and with all other ingredients of our being. At such a moment, one is at peace, one is content, and the precept of no sexual greed is realized. We must be intimate with all aspects of our being, including our sexuality, in order to give ourself entirely to the mudra. In giving ourselves entirely to this or any other mudra, we thus integrate our whole being, and there is no greed of any kind.

[60:02]

If on the other hand there is some aspect of our sexual being with which we are not intimate, then we feel, at least at a very deep level, that something very important, some very important part of our body and mind is being withheld and not included. This will then, under some circumstances, be a prime condition for the arousing of sexual greed. It is the same with the central mudra of our Zen practice, just sitting upright. At the very moment of just sitting upright, there is nothing but just sitting upright. You just meet your body with your body, and you can't think of anything further.

[61:13]

The person has wholeheartedly given everything of herself to this mudra. This is what we call renouncing worldly affairs. Giving up imagining anything other than what is happening now. This is called maintaining Buddhadharma. And at such a time, there is no sexual greed. At such a time, the entire sky turns into enlightenment, and the whole phenomenal world becomes this mudra. And the whole world of sex is sitting upright too.

[62:17]

Whenever we do anything with such complete warmth and devotion, it is just the same. Any work of art, any meal you prepare cleaning house, all these things, when done in this spirit of complete devotion and not imagining anything else, without the slightest separation between yourself and the task, it's the same. This is immaculate sexuality. When I was first at Tassajara, the day after I finished Tangario, I was very happy.

[63:34]

I was ready to do whatever work I was assigned. Back in those days, we just got assigned work, and whatever it was, we were grateful. Of work, yes. So I was standing right up there in front of the dorm, with a bunch of guys. And my buddy said to me, who was the work leader, does anybody here know how to drive this big truck? Which is parked right outside there, next to the toilet. Wasn't a toilet there then. Right out there. Wasn't a Zendo here either. But there was that wall. And there was a truck there, a big truck, pointed at the dorm. And I did know how to drive big trucks. Nothing. So I got in the big truck and started driving. However, the big truck did not have brakes. Did not have foot brakes.

[64:39]

But anyway, I wholeheartedly pressed on that brake and the truck kept moving towards the dawn. So I then wholeheartedly grasped the emergency brake and I pulled it with my whole being. And there was no sexual greed. And the truck stopped and the dormitory is still there. The next day I was assigned to do plumbing. It was the beginning of my long, illustrious career as a plumber. I'm still in that line of work.

[65:41]

And we had just had big storms, so our pipes, which brought us Water had been washed out. They used to go across in midair above the creek. They had been washed out and were broken apart all over the place up in the creek there. So me and another man went up there to repair the pipes. And we repaired one broken pipe. But before we finished repairing it, I already thought of fixing the next pipe. We sort of repaired it, but not really. And I was ready to move to repair the next pipe. Strictly speaking, this may not sound like violating the precept of sexual greed.

[66:53]

It wasn't like I had a date up at the next pipe. But it's the same spirit, is that I wasn't just taking care of that job. And we walked away, and I realized that this way of being is not what I'm here for. This way of sort of doing my job and then sort of moving on to the next thing. So I said to my friend, let's go back and fix the pipe. And he knew what I meant because he was not there too. So we both went back and we did it. And that is intimacy.

[68:00]

And that's why we came to Tulsa Hall. If there is the slightest bit of our sexual world that is not sitting with us right now, then we have not yet realized intimacy with ourself, and there will be at least some subtle longing for union. with the unincluded aspect of our sexuality. This is not yet sexual greed, not yet rapacious sexual desire, but this is the root of such greed.

[69:12]

This is the root of harm. Therefore, the precept of no sexual greed has not been fully actualized. And therefore, neither has just sitting upright. So let us notice if we give ourselves completely to joining our palms, completely to bowing, completely to eating, completely to sitting upright. If we do, the preceptors realize

[70:18]

and we are intimate with our sexuality. We can't or don't. Perhaps it's because. Not perhaps. We are not yet intimate with our sexuality and that is blocking us from being fully satisfied with doing just this. At this time, I ask all of us, are we able to give ourselves completely to what's happening right now?

[73:31]

Is any part, any aspect of our being not included here now? If you find something that's not included, something that's withheld from being present, without rejecting it, without touching it or trying to pull it closer, just being upright with that separation,

[75:38]

it begins to come forward and be included. Warmly, kindly, patiently, Be upright with it. It will come and join your sitting when it's ready. When you're ready. That all carefully to this.

[77:02]

To thus. If there's a hair's breadth difference, you may be able to imagine that you can't stand it much longer. But if you can quietly sit with that thin or thick wound of separation, you will be able to sit with this forever.

[78:50]

Now, if you should reach that place, that would be very good. But still, if you do, when the bell rings, give it up.

[79:10]

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