If practice and realization were two things as it appears to an ordinary person, each would be recognized separately. Or another way to say it is, they would be able to look at each other. Practice would look at enlightenment, and enlightenment would look at practice. But what can be met with realization is still not realization itself, because realization is not reached by the deluded mind. In stillness, mind and object emerge in realization and go beyond enlightenment. Nevertheless, because you are in a state of self-fulfilling samadhi, you are moving a particle of dust. You extend Buddha's great activity, the incomparably profound and subtle teaching. So the first thing I'd like to comment on is just think about it. When, even for a moment, you express the Buddhist seal in the three actions by sitting upright in samadhi, the whole phenomenal world becomes the Buddhist seal and the entire sky turns into enlightenment.

[01:17]

There is, could also be translated as mudra. Chinese character means mudra. And that's a Sanskrit word. And mudra means like a seal. It's like a seal, like sealing a document or sealing a letter. It's just like a seal of approval or a seal that ties, that hooks things together. But it also means, you know, mudra like it means a ring. So it applies to physical form. It applies to the circle-like or ring-like or seal-like quality of your body. So you have a body and to some extent your body is like a circle. That's the mudra of your body.

[02:22]

So there's my hand, okay? And if I make my hand into this shape of bringing my index finger down to touch my thumb tip, I make a ring or a circle. This is a mudra, right? But even if I don't make that circle with my hand, you can just look at my hand. in a rather ordinary posture, if you can see the mudra there, if you can see the seal there. Can you see the seal of my hand? The mudra of my hand, even when it's not making a literal circle? Where's the seal of my hand? What makes that hand into a circle? Can you see it? Well, you can't, but you can understand it. That's the thing, is that this, the seal of my hand is not something you can perceive.

[03:26]

You can make up a concept for the seal of the hand, and you can perceive that concept, but the actual seal of my hands, not the form of the seal. So now I put my hands together. This mudra, which is called the concentration mudra, the concentration ring. So it looks like a ring, but before they're together, There's already a mudra here. What is that mudra? What is it? Tell me. Huh? Pardon? Intention. What intention? Well, what makes it a seal? What makes it a circle? The completeness. I mean, the body has boundaries. Yes. And that seems like a circle to me, that it's contained. The body has boundaries. Make a circle. Well, that the, I don't know, I feel circularly that it's contained within the skin of the body.

[04:34]

Oh, the body is contained within the skin of the body. That's one kind of ring or circle in the body. That's always there, right? It's the containment of the body. Its own circumference, in a sense. Its own continuous boundary. What's another? What's the Buddha's mudra? Is it like the full extent of your hand? Yes, but what's the Buddhist seal of that? What makes that the Buddhist seal? Is it like the hand gives life to the universe and the universe gives life to the hand? Yeah. The universe gives life to this hand. See that? Well, you can't actually see that. You can see part of it, I guess. But the way that this... the way the universe gives life to this hand, the way this hand is born from the whole universe, the way this self is born of the whole universe, and the way this self is also limited and has a limit so that it can be confirmed by

[05:55]

The fact that it's separate and not everything is completed by the fact that everything isn't makes it what it is. That's the circle. Your small self can only because of everything in the universe that it isn't. And also, your body can only be your body because of itself. You need everything in the universe to be your body. For example, Basha needs everybody else to be Basha. Also, Basha needs all the qualities of Basha to be Basha. You leave out one quality of Basha, you don't have Basha anymore. So she depends on everything else. Also, she depends on her body. But also, she depends on the mind to say that she's Bhasha, the thought that she is independent, all that it takes to make this thing called this person.

[07:08]

That's the Buddhaseal. When you put that Buddhaseal on everything you do, on your speech, on your thought, on your gestures, when that's that way, then the entire universe is simultaneously received the Buddhaseal. You press the Buddhist seal on this thing which depends on everything, and then the seal is simultaneously compressed on everything. And then the entire sky turns into enlightenment. And then all these amazing things happen which you read about. However, this does not appear within perception. So who's saying this? Where is this coming from? This comes from the understanding of this. Somebody talks this way. Dogen Zenji talks this way. Shakyamuni Buddha talks this way. This comes out of the mouth of what? Of a person. What kind of person? A person who's sitting still.

[08:12]

And now they're sitting still, but they're not moving anything around in order to say this. They're not becoming a different person in order to say this. They have no proof of saying this other than the saying of this. Their proof of what they're saying is what they're saying. Of course, they can say more. And they're happy to, if you want them to. But it's not by messing... This comes from unconstructedness and stillness. That's where these words come out of, unconstructedness and stillness. Not by moving things around so that you get in the right place, and then you can say this. Then you get to be somebody who can talk like this. It's like, when you're... You're not fabricating anything. You are fabricated by various things, like everything in the universe fabricates you, you're fabricated by your own identity, and you're fabricated by thought.

[09:16]

You're fabricated. It's unmoving and unfabricated. A fabricated thing being a fabricated thing is unfabricated and the unfabricatedness of each person every moment is identical to the unfabricatedness of every other person at every moment there's no difference you cannot tell the difference between the way Fred is Fred and the way Patty is Patty there's no difference in those two those two things and in the stillness of that fabricatedness the word the word comes although it's not fabricated it can talk and this talk comes from the buddha seal being impressed on the body the buddha seal being impressed on the body of a tree however trees don't talk the way we talk

[10:29]

They talk a different language. They do talk, but we can't hear them. Unconstructedness and stillness too. The way a tree is a tree is exactly the same way that I'm me. And the way I talk is like this. And my talk can come from unconstructedness and stillness. And in fact, it always does. The only question is, am I witnessing that? And the answer is, no. But, is there witnessing of that? And the answer is, maybe. Maybe there is witnessing of this unconstructedness and the speech that comes from there. This is called an expression or witnessing in enlightenment. So, our job in some sense, is to appreciate when the Buddhist seal is impressed, impressed on our actions and expressed by our actions.

[11:40]

And then if we can get with the impression and expression of the Buddhist seal on our speech, on our thoughts and on our posture, then the whole world resonates with that. So that's that whole section there I just talked about. I don't know if you followed that. But that's what the whole section is about. And this, because of this, Buddha's Tathagatas, as their original source, increase their dharana bliss. Buddha is happy. When this happens, when the Buddha seal is impressed on your body, speech and thought, that makes Buddha very happy. their kind of basic happiness. They have a variety of happiness, but this is their original happiness. Their original fundamental happiness is that you and I have this Buddha seal impressed on our body, speech and mind, and also our body, speech and mind expresses it.

[12:49]

This makes the Buddhas happy, and also this renews their magnificence in the adornment of the way. Their magnificence renews their magnificence. This renews their adornment. What is the adornment of the Buddhas and the magnificence of the way? What is the adornment? It is when we have the Buddha seal impressed on us and when we express it. That's the Buddha's magnificence. All of us, through our speech, manifesting this Buddha seal. And all beings resonating with that. And there's not the slightest bit of manipulation in this practice. You're not moving dust particles around. And this is not perceived. This is not perceived.

[13:51]

However, perception is going on. And if you're not there with your perception, guess what? You're moving dust particles around. The only reason why you're not there with your perceptions is because you want some other perceptions, rather than this one. For you to have your perceptions and for your perceptions to be your perceptions is what we call unconstructedness and stillness. So we don't manipulate our experience. That's not what this is about. This is about whatever experience you have, what is the unconstructedness and stillness of that experience? That's where this wonderful stuff happens from. So we're totally engaged in our perceptual process process cannot appreciate the total engagement. Can't see it. You can't see when you're finally realizing the way. It's not something you can see. But if you see something and you're totally engaged with what you're seeing, the way unfolds.

[14:56]

Right from that place. That's the only place is what you're up to right now. But what you're up to, which you can perceive, doesn't, isn't perceiving the way. The ways in what you're doing but what you're doing can't see the way. So it's kind of not symmetrical. It comes into everything you do. The Dharma illuminates and penetrates all aspects of your conscious life, but your conscious life can't get into the Dharma. Your consciousness can't get into the realization. The realization can totally, does totally, completely pervade every action. That's the kind of realization it says. And therefore there's no need to move or manipulate because everywhere it's totally given, totally provided.

[16:02]

But in order to do that you have to do this major enunciation of all power trips and just work with what's happening. which is very unfamiliar to us. And it's almost that you can develop at not doing anything, at getting better at renunciation, at getting better at not doing anything. We actually do get better at doing things. And we can also get better at not doing things. But we're already very good at doing things, so we'd rather get better at them rather than go back and start as a beginner at something we don't know how to do. And yet, instruction is being beamed out from unconstructedness and stillness, and you can hear it.

[17:09]

So this instruction is still coming, saying, you know, anytime you can start practicing a way that you don't know how to do very well. It's, you know, it's available to you. And it's just being proposed as a really good deal. So that's probably enough for now, huh? Do you want to ask a few questions before you try to eat? So what about this, at this time all being realized, correct awakening, it sounds like, I can see that maybe this thing of they're already awakening if they don't, since they realize it. Yeah, at this time, this time, I said, when I read that, I said, this time is not time. This time is not a time like before and after time.

[18:13]

This is not the timing of self and other time. This is a time when everything gives you your life. Life is not something that's there separate from other beings. You don't have that life anymore. You lost that life. You gave up the life, you gave up the body and mind, you let go of the body and mind which is separate from other beings. So at this time there actually are other beings. At this time there are not other beings and there are not other times. and at that time all beings realize the Buddha way at that time you see all beings have the Buddha nature you can also see that in another time in the place where there is before and after some beings are still not realizing their Buddha nature so in Zazen you can see in this world everybody is realizing the Buddha way everybody is completely supporting each other everybody is completely appreciating each other So much so that they drop the self-other distinction.

[19:15]

And everybody realizes the way simultaneously. That's the world. In this world over here, beings do not realize that. They're holding on to ideas about what happiness should be like, about the way people should treat them, about the way they should treat people. They're holding on to that self-other thing. In that time, beings still have the Buddha nature, but they don't realize it. You realize it. Everything realizes it. So in this time, is that... This is a time of total harmony, complete, unhindered bliss, peace, and friendliness among all beings. Everybody's doing their part. It's this time. Right. And is that fulfilling the vow to save all beings? Is what fulfilling it? This time, in this movement? It is fulfilled right there. However, there's another world where it's not fulfilled, the world of delusion. And so our zazen practice, or our self-fulfilling samadhi is, we're equally willing to enter the world of where everybody is helping each other without doing anything.

[20:27]

By just being themselves, everybody helps you. Without any people being the slightest bit different from what they are, they give you the greatest help that they can give you. Right now. That's one world. Hey, that's enlightenment. Then there's another world called delusion, where people are not necessarily helping each other, others helping certain people who are helping them. You help me, I'll help you. Okay, you don't help me, well, you know, there's going to be a certain grace period, but basically, not for long. You know, not, I'll help you, you have to help me, but there's a certain, you know, that's another world. I don't prefer one over the other. in this self-fulfilling samadhi because the one where people are playing these games and are unhappy and fighting with each other, that gives Buddha life as much as the other one. Work into the other world. And because of the other world, I can go back and forth. That's the Buddha seal. The willingness to go either way.

[21:31]

The willingness to appreciate both. The non-preference and also how they seal each other. Now this takes me into... People think that there's such a thing as a Buddha, happy Buddha, without all these miserable people. And I saw that happy Buddha, you know, I saw that picture of the happy Buddha. Is there really such a thing as a happy Buddha out there? I don't see that thing. I don't see that happy Buddha thing because I don't see any things like a happy Buddha outside the world of things. The only place you have things called happy Buddha is in the world of things, but in the world of things you have miserable people.

[22:34]

If you have things, you've got delusion. So if you've got a thing called a happy Buddha, thing called the unhappy person because people like us you and me when there's things we're miserable that's the price of thinghood if you want to be in the world of things you've got to pay the price of being unhappy happy to pay the price of being unhappy to come into the world of things to release people from things it's a small price to pay to be a little unhappy or even severely unhappy in order to help people become free of their belief in things. But if you take away the miserable people, which means you take away the things, there's no thing called a Buddha. But there is the way things are. And the way things are is that there's no things. And also the way things are is that when there are things, then there must be Somebody who's making a thing.

[23:38]

Then you got an unhappy person. So you got a Buddha. Because Buddha's come right back as soon as somebody's in trouble, Buddha's there. Buddha's there to say, hey, what's happening? Is this really going on now? What's this thing thing? What's this pain? Who are you? Buddha comes and does that. That there aren't any things comes to help us when we're in the realm where there are things and we're suffering because we're imputing that to the universe and believing it and suffering because of that and attached to it. So then Buddha wakes up, says, oh, time to go back to work. Hello. Knock, knock. Need some help there? So that's why I'm saying that if you don't have any suffering, yeah, but if you don't have any suffering, you don't have any things. So if you don't have any things, you don't have any Buddhas. If you don't have any things, you don't have any Buddhas. Buddhas are only there as a something when you've got somethings around. If you don't have somethings around, you just have vast openness of space.

[24:44]

And you have whatever life is. And we don't need to say anything about it because it's just vast openness of life. But as soon as some critter... says we got a thing and somebody made it then Buddha is there to help to release this person who has done this fantastic thing of making a thing in a world where there really aren't these things cut off from other things but somebody can imagine it and now do all kinds of karma in relationship to that suffering which comes Buddha comes then to say need some help here can I help you When that problem's there, there's no things, there's no Buddhas, there's no sentient beings, and we don't, you know, you can say whatever you want, but if you then think that what you're saying makes a thing, then you suffer and Buddha comes. And Buddha works when you get released from that belief. That's why I say, no Buddha, no happy Buddha without suffering beings.

[25:51]

No Buddha thing without suffering being things. Those things, you take away the Buddha thing, but the reality, Dharma is still there. Whatever life is then, that will be Dharma too, but it won't be the Dharma of Buddhas and sentient beings anymore. But I would say, to me, I'm not worried about that. If anybody doesn't like that world, we're not here, don't we? where there's things, suffering people, and Buddhas. And I think you understand now what Buddha is, right? So I think Roberta and then Thay. So, if there weren't any suffering, there wouldn't be Buddhas? If there weren't any suffering, there would be no Buddhas, yeah. You can't have Buddhas without suffering. Not, you know, not what we call, because Buddha means wake up. Wake up from what? From delusion.

[26:54]

Buddhists... Buddhists grow on delusion. Now, there may be... wake up... for waking up when there's nothing to wake up from, but that's kind of nonsense. We have sleepiness. We have delusion. And we have waking up from that. That's a paired set. That's a good deal. You got to dream and waking up from it. We have... that can dream, and that can believe their dreams, and then they suffer because they think a dream is not a dream. That's what we've got. Okay? And we have Buddhas to put together with that. And then the people are released from their dreams, and then everything's fine. But if there's anybody around that's still dreaming and believing the dream and suffering, what are they going to do? So Buddhas are not complaining about not having work to do. Buddhas are happy then. Because they have plenty of work. They have life. They have Buddha life. Buddha life is simply to help beings who believe their dreams. But there's no dreaming and or dreaming without belief in dreaming.

[27:59]

Dreaming without belief in dreaming is Buddha. You wake up from the dream. That's a Buddha. Buddhas are those who understand that dreams are dreams. Take away the dreams. You don't need a Buddha. You don't have a Buddha. Take away the belief in dreams. Then you can have dreams but no belief. So Buddha, kind of like a better deal, in a way, than having no dreams. Because now we can have dreams, plus freedom from the dreams, then you have Buddha. Otherwise, you've got to like have, I guess, you don't have to take away the Buddha, which frees you from the dream, then you've got to have no dreams, otherwise you have misery. The nice thing about Buddhism is you can have dreams and freedom from dreams. So you can have this whole universe, you can have a universe without bondage, misery and cruelty. Otherwise we have to mow the universe of dreams, which is what we used to have around here, as far as I know. At the time we just had a nice happy planet with no dreams.

[29:03]

That was okay. We had ferns, you know. There were ferns. They were like waving in the breeze, sending out this stuff. We had like gorgeous sunsets, apparently. Volcanoes, you know. And Neanderthal men. But then somebody started dreaming. And they thought, oh, this is not to be missed. Let's make it true. And then we started suffering. So now we've got this fantastic dreaming equipment, this wonderful... Well, you know how great it is. And so... But the problem is we believe it. Buddhas have awakened from this stuff. They've awakened from the belief in the reality of the dream. They say, hey, it's a dream. So no problem. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful dream if you don't make it into a thing. Okay?

[30:07]

So I think it's a good deal, the Buddha, you know, the Buddha suffering being thing. So it's just a medicine for the suffering beings. And when the medicine is taken away, yeah, the Buddha is not a thing. It's just simply, it's not a thing, it's not a happy Buddha, it's just being free from belief in the dream. So there's just freedom from belief in the dream, so there's also freedom from Buddha. I don't believe that. I really don't. It was just a dream I told you. You can make another dream. Really, you can. I welcome your dreams. And then if you believe in it, then we'll bring Buddha in to help you. This is his dream. This is the way he thinks it works. And the question is, is he hung up on this or not?

[31:07]

And can we Xerox these in a more upright fashion? So Miriam has her hand raised. Was there somebody before Miriam? Yes? When do we make up the Buddha? Do we make up the Buddha? You... With the help of everyone, you can dream of a Buddha. You can dream of a Buddha that's a thing. Yes. Your own imagination can do that. If you can see how everybody helps you dream up a Buddha, then you realize the way of Buddha, beyond your idea of Buddha. And that freedom you realize, which is beyond Buddha, doesn't look anything like the Buddha that you dream of. Not at all. And everybody helps you realize the actual Buddha, which is free of your dream of Buddha. And some people practice Buddhism without any dream of Buddha even.

[32:11]

They dream of other things, like dream of demons. If you realize how everybody helps you dream of a demon, you realize Buddha. And the Buddha is totally fresh to you because you don't even have any idea of Buddha. But you also understand that demons aren't really what you thought they were either. You realize that demons are just things that confirm the Buddhahood. Buddha was confirmed, was realized by demons to help Buddha become Buddha. That's part of our history. Well, it's kind of a different thing. What does the bell mean? The bell means lunch. Well, I can wait. Okay. I mean, just wait. Yeah, so that can wait. So we'll have lunch now.

[33:13]

And then how about 2 o'clock to reconvene for a little Zazen ceremony in the Zendo? Okay? Yes. So help yourself to a period of Zazen at 2 o'clock. All right? Yes. Okay. Just stop giving up, running away from it. What you are is already Buddha. When you realize Buddha, you have a fulfilled self. You realize self-fulfillment. You are absorbed in self-fulfillment. This is something we skipped broke back in April as well.

[34:14]

Be yourself in this moment. Be yourself in the next moment. In the next moment, we should be open. But in practical life, we make choices to avoid danger, to avoid risk. Is that at odds with being open and being accountable? You make sure, you mean like you don't jump off buildings? You don't jump off buildings, you don't drive into concrete blocks. Uh-huh. So you're wondering, is that at variance with something? With the evoking of vulnerable, if you take less extreme cases, you might choose. Well, like if you stand at the edge of a cliff and you, can you lean over and... You're wondering if that's at odds with something? Being vulnerable. No, you feel vulnerable, right? You feel vulnerable at that time, don't you? You feel like, geez, I feel vulnerable. I have this vulnerable feeling to this pressure.

[35:25]

So that's vulnerable, isn't it? Yeah. And you let yourself feel that way. Right. Yeah. You're doing fine. You have any problem with that? Huh? Now, if you lean over and you don't feel vulnerable and you feel comfortable, that's fine, I guess. They're going to lean over and, ooh, no problem. And you get to be that person. There's no choice so far, though, in what I'm talking about, right? So any further questions? No. Did I just solve all your problems there? Yes. Really? Yeah. If you're the kind of person who goes, I'm afraid to hide. Yeah. Okay, so I step back. Yes. Because... You get that feeling? Yeah. You get that vulnerable feeling? Yeah. And then you step back? Yeah. So does that mean that I'm not staying still?

[36:29]

Well, it depends. If you get that vulnerable feeling at the edge of the cliff, you know, and get that feeling, ooh, there it is, and then say, ooh, I'm feeling this vulnerable feeling, you're stepping back. Yeah. But you're stepping back from completely being that person who feels this funny feeling. No, I don't know. I mean, it seems to me like you feel that. I feel that feeling. Yes. And I feel it completely when I step in. What did I say? You said I was stepping back. Pardon? I don't know. You don't know what I said? So before you say no, listen to what I said. I thought I did. What did I say? I thought you said that you get there and you feel the feeling. Yeah. Yeah. You get there, you feel the feeling. I'm saying that. Okay. Then what did I say? I thought you said step back. Pardon? You thought I said... You stepped back. What did I say? Get there, feel the feeling, and then what happens?

[37:33]

You step back from the person who's feeling it. Huh? You step back from the person who's feeling it. It's on tape. Regardless of what's on tape, what did I say? I say, you feel this feeling. Now what happens? What? From that feeling, you step back. Yeah. From the feeling, you step back. From feeling the feeling, you step back. You don't step back from the feeling. That's karma. Which is fine. It's perfectly good karma. You would have probably made... That tends to promote having another day and try it again. But if you just are the person who's receiving her function there, here I am, this is me at the edge of the cliff now, now I receive my function as this person, then from that thing there comes the action, perhaps, of stepping back.

[38:38]

But it comes from being there, being that person. That's not karma. That's not even a decision. That's not running away, that's not running towards. It's just the action which might come up out of that for you. For somebody else, they might stay there for a while. And when you're leaning over the thing, you're just leaning over the thing and having that feeling. That's what you're at and that's what you do and you don't do anything but that. And then from that comes a right response. Which might be that you move away. But it's not like a decision made by you. is a decision coming from this samadhi. It's spontaneous, and that's the way everything is all the time anyway. And when you're in that samadhi, you watch to see how your actions are spontaneous, because your actions are given to you. You're in a space of where you see... You walk up, here I am, just standing here, I'm walking around, and all I've got to do is walk over there and I'll be given something.

[39:47]

You walk over there and here he comes. Wow! You just, you know, it's a gift. You couldn't make it up. You can't do that. You've got to be over there. You need a cliff for this one. So then the cliff and you get together and you get this thing that comes from cliff and you. And that's your life. Then from that life, something else comes. Something else comes. Something else comes. Everything confirms you. You confirm yourself away, way back from that. You're confirmed. You know. And then you're confirmed to walk back and feel that again. Because you do sometimes get near cliffs. That's you choose to, you know, live in a world that has cliffs. So these cliffs offer you opportunity. But you can also, like, turn away from it and not pay attention to that, how that happens. Not see how that stuff comes to give you the experience.

[40:49]

You know. You're there beforehand, and you're there during, and you're there after. And then it's like running around back and forth, always trying to figure out what to do. It gets very tiresome. Is the self fully born? I mean, is it complete at birth? You mean like a human homo sapien child? Yeah. It is... all the potential, all of the... the life that it can be is present at the time of birth. Let's see. Well, one way to answer that is kind of like psychological or developmental. And another way is Not that way.

[41:54]

So which way would be good? On a psychological end? No. Okay. So the non-psychological answer, in a sense, is that I'm sort of living now with that question. And the response is like this. So the same would be true.

[42:59]

And so whatever phase of development a being is, whatever phase of development life is, it always is sufficient unto itself for liberation. A newborn psychological self, yeah, takes a little while to develop it. But the self is not necessarily a psychological self. But if you have a psychological self, then you have to deal with that. If you don't yet have it, you get to deal with it. And in fact, that's the way a little baby acts. A little baby shows us what it's like. A newborn baby shows you what it's like to have a human, in a sense. It doesn't yet have a self. And this is something which is, you know, something that people kind of enjoy being around. This is what we call a new being, somebody that's very fresh.

[44:07]

And little babies are very similar to, you know, they are very similar to the They don't necessarily have enough sort of what we call practice background, such that when they run into a self, they'll be able to continue that apparent participation. And the way I understand it is that you have two babies, one that's quite enlightened, and one that's not so enlightened, but before confronting the self, they both are kind of like creatures. Like if you do some kind of like, what do you call it, thermal scan of their back, the back of their body, you see that the energy is pretty evenly distributed throughout their whole body, like they have good circulation usually, unless they have heart.

[45:20]

But they don't have like habits. that are manifesting in the body. The body's pretty fresh. They aren't like right-handed or left-handed yet. So, but then when they run into the self, some babies, like some little creatures, are closing down and others don't so much. Others kind of like say, okay, I'm not going to like, you know, I'm not going to, I'm not going to lie. Even though I can see certain things might not happen to me. So prior to the confrontation with self-concern, I think little babies look pretty good. They look very much like a Buddha would look under the same circumstances. The real test of your enlightenment is yourself.

[46:27]

How do you handle having a self? A lot of people look good without a self. And look good without a self is what you look like when what's arriving is confirming you. Those moments when what's happening is kind of like confirming you, you look good. You kind of like... kind of cruel, no thank you. You can get even cruel. So, anyway. At any point in the baby's development, it could, at any point in a creature's development, it could accept its self, whatever self that was. And you can be a being that has a self prior to this. So if a Buddha was born, someone who had the practice confirmation, who was willing to accept whatever happened, a Buddha could be completely realized a Buddha, and there would be no tendency to negotiate with what's happening, even before the self arose.

[47:44]

But if there was that tendency, even though the self hadn't arisen, the being would then need to get a self in order to develop what doesn't worry about the self. And that tendency is present. That tendency is genetic. To close down or to be open. The tendency to close down, to be open, to lie, to protect yourself is genetic. And some people have genetic damage, and they don't form cells, and they're a lot nicer in some ways. But Down syndrome kids are almost never mean. I went to visit my daughter. One of my older daughters had a place that took care of Down syndrome people. And I walked up to the house where she was taking care of these people.

[48:50]

And one of the residents of the house came running out of the house, a 45-year-old man, I think he was 49 years old. He came running out of the house and he greeted me. Didn't know me, never met him before, but he heard, you know, he knew my daughter and he was coming out. He ran out, said, hi, my name is so-and-so, I'm welcome to our house, you know, come on in, you know. course they have their feelings can get hurt you know people are mean to them stuff they feel that they don't like it they like it when people are nice to them and they can tell when people aren't being nice to them and they can tell when people aren't being nice to other people but their sense of self is not fully developed so they can do things like run up to some stranger and be very welcoming and not worry about that they're down syndrome you know and that they look somebody might think they're funny or somebody might not like them to come up and do that Like, I had a Doberman like that.

[49:53]

You know? He didn't understand that people were afraid of him. So he didn't run up to them, you know? Because he's sitting in a chair, he didn't run up to them and slap his head into their lap. And when he was happy, he... And when he smiled, he bared his fangs. He had... He had fangs like that. And, you know, he had a can of dog food. He didn't need an opener. Just crunch. Open. But he totally loved... He just, you know, he was totally loved people. and he was totally affectionate and never barked or growled at any human. The only time he ever growled is sometimes at little male dogs that thought he was a female dog.

[50:58]

Sometimes they'd say, no, I'm not a female. But he didn't know. He didn't have a sense of, you know... They might be frightened of me. So he just was himself. He wasn't concerned about that. But can you have self and do that? You can if you're right there with it. And you see that actually it gets its life from everything. then you don't have to worry about it anymore. And then, from not-from-this-self, which you don't worry about, which is kind of like a self you forgot, then this, from this place of this forgotten self, is not from the self, it's from the place of forgetting the self. From that place, your actions come forth in all their unpredictable outrageousness and ordinariness, too.

[52:09]

It can be quite ordinary a lot of time, quite nothing much. But it's coming from this place of... And enlightenment is that what's happening gives you life. That's, in fact, enlightened vision, that your life comes from everything that's happening, always, including what we call death. Okay? And there's psychological stuff too. I don't know who's next, but I think maybe Salvi. And then Martha, were there any other hands that I missed that were up recently? Salvi? I've been a mountaineer for four years, and I start from nothing. So in the beginning, I was in the edge of the cliff. In the Andes? Yes. I got some cliffs there.

[53:13]

It was very scary. But then you start practicing. It makes you confident. So you are not afraid anymore of being in the cliff. And actually, some of my friends that proceed in the practice, they were able to sleep overnight hanging from the cliff. And I didn't get to that level. all the time climbing on the walls. So it takes a practice. What happens? How does it go from being afraid to not being afraid? What happens there? How does it shift? It's just observing how people, they do it, and then you do it yourself. You know, the first thing that you're confronted to is when you do rappelling, The first thing is that you have a rope and you're in the cliff. And the first thing is that you have to get perpendicular to the wall because that's the place where you're not liable to have something.

[54:15]

If you're kind of in an angle, you can go like that. But you have to have the rope and then you start walking. you know you don't jump in the beginning so you start walking around and then you feel comfortable you know if you have your feet between you and the wall you're safe yeah completely perpendicular but if you start leaning your head can go into the wall like that or you know if you want your legs You want your legs very strong on the wall. Perpendicular, perfect. Stand on the wall. And then from that point, then, you know, you start jumping and you make lips and, you know, stuff like that. And then, you know, it gets to the other place where you start climbing. And there's different, you know, you got teachers that show you how to do it, etc. So I was trying to... correlate this to the place whereby you can be completely present with everything in your life, even though in those scary moments. And it requires... It requires... Correct.

[55:22]

In our case, upright, right? It's upright against the wall. You've got to be upright. Correct. When you're upright, you're fine, you know? And if you lean forward, you smash your head or whatever, right? Correct. So I was... Upright, that's the thing, that's the gate. But all requires practice, and to me... It requires practice, right. It feels that the Eightfold Path is a way to get skillful and practice to the point that you can be in scary situations upright. It doesn't come just like that. Well, at least maybe some people can accomplish it just... To me, it feels like the practice of the Eightfold Path can get you to a place where you can have your father shouting at you in your face and you can act in a mindful, skillful way that don't get you in trouble. Right, right. The gradual thing is, you see, you can get better and better at practice.

[56:27]

Okay? But it isn't that the practice makes you into a Buddha. That's a confusion. You get more and more skillful at the practice of being upright, and more and more skillful at the practice of everything gives you life. You can get more and more skillful at it by practicing, practicing, practicing. But from Dogen Zenji's point of view, it's from the beginning. Understand that the practice is enlightenment, rather than the practice gets you to enlightenment. That's his emphasis. So you can get better too. Enlightenment gets deeper, practice gets deeper, practice gets higher, enlightenment gets higher. It's not that the practice gets you to enlightenment. They're the same thing, and both are capable of infinite development. And actually, it's actually that you keep going beyond both. Both keep transcending. But see, the trick is... tricky part is that we is is to from the beginning change in this school you know is from the beginning have the understanding that the practice is not something that you do to get enlightenment because then from the beginning you make the practice into something you use to get something for yourself backwards and yet there is getting better at the practice that there is that aspect so that

[57:50]

The enlightenment and the practice are both processes and not things. The enlightenment and the practice are both processes and not things, right. Everything's a process, not a thing. Your self is also a process, not a thing. So the self-absorbed receiving function is actually the self receiving self, because that's the function of the self. It's the self receiving the self, yes. And the absorption is to put yourself on yourself receiving yourself. which is seeds itself. And that means that everything that's happening is included in that absorption. You can get better and better at that, but that is enlightenment. So the gradual thing is not gradually changing, making yourself better, gradually deepening your understanding. That what you are, life is not really something that's better or worse. We, however, human beings, we can make life into something that gets better and worse.

[58:53]

We can do that. Life lets us do that. Life makes us into beings which can judge it. Beings that can judge ourselves. We can do that, but... It's just judgment. It's not actually that things are, like, good and bad. But again... If you don't admit that you're doing that, then you're not upright. If you don't admit that you're going to have problems, you're going to have a hard time being upright on a cliff if you don't admit that you've got a cliff here. There are certain rules you have to accept. There are certain rules of judgment that you have to work with. But you can stand upright in a judgment, too. I don't know what angle the judgment's at, but in that judgment, Everything offers you an opportunity to be upright in it. And there's no end to dimensions and challenges and worlds that you offer from all different angles.

[59:54]

Saints come to you and how do you turn and be upright with whatever is happening? That's the skill thing. Martha? Martha? I think you said, did you know, and I felt I got kind of lost about genetic tendency to shut down, stay vulnerable. Genetic means that you're into, genetic means that it is genetically, what do you call it, it is genetically auspicious to have a self. I say that. I think that. What do genes like to do? What's their favorite thing? Reproduce. That's their thing. Their whole thing is reproduce. And if you ever looked at some of the things that have genes, what's their main thing? It's to reproduce.

[60:55]

There are animals will happily die if they get some of them. Right? Yeah. That's their deal. And that's because they're working for genes which are into that. Genes are happy to die to make more genes. That's our thing. So if you have a genetic setup that has a self, having a self has turned out to be helping genes. If you have one organism that doesn't have a self, you have one that does have a self. And those organisms live in groups, like humans. It turns out that highly evolved primates, the ones that have self, had an advantage over the ones that didn't. So, and now once you get a self, then you get into like protecting the self because the self's so helpful, so useful. And so you get into protection, then you get into whatever protects.

[61:57]

Sometimes lying protects. Guilty protects. So the self brings all these problems, but who cares? Well, we do. We care. We care. The self has caused us so many problems. The self has caused us extreme misery. The self is a big problem. You can try to check out, but anyway, these other beings who are going to have selves are going to keep going on, and they're going to take over. They have taken over. They're always going to be the ones that are going to... They're going to keep, you know, they're going to take over the whole universe because they make the whole universe. universe made them the universe worked hard to make things like us now we should be grateful and figure out what that is and when we realize what it is we realize how we are the children of the universe the universe has gone to a lot of trouble to make us and makes us brand new if we tune into that and we pay back the universe and we'll feel we won't feel so guilty but it's hard work right

[63:11]

Because we've got the self. And then we've got the belief in the self. But if you can face that, and face all the trips around the self, the protection, the deception, the closing, the lack of boldness, in other words, the deception, because the self is a bold thing. The self is about the boldest thing. that I've ever heard of in the history of the universe. Little tiny squirt on a little tiny planet stands up there and says, you know, I'm basically all that matters. And I don't need anybody else. And nobody gave me anything. You know, and I got a raw deal. What could be more bold than that? And everybody can do that unless they're beaten down before they learn how to talk.

[64:15]

A normal little kid can stand up and say, that's mine! To a big, you know, giant person. Now if the person then hits him, then they start saying, whoop, better not say that. So I'll just say it to people who are my size or smaller. And then if you hit him for that, then they start, it's not nice to say that's mine, Johnny. Okay. So, you know. Johnny's trying to protect Johnny. And how can I... How can I take care of my stuff without telling anybody that it's my stuff? So then Johnny gets new kinds of problems. And Johnny becomes a really nasty little guy because after a while Johnny even forgets that he even wants to and so on. So Johnny becomes very possessive and manipulative and totally miserable and dishonest. And then we have this situation. But if we can face that, if we can like, you know, stand upright in that, then we kind of see, oh, this is a situation.

[65:23]

And we see how that happens. And if you see how that happens, you start becoming more and more bold in admitting, oh, here I am, this screwed up person. I don't know how I got this way, but I'm going to find out, I guess. Because I'm fine. I learned more. It's a painful lesson, but I'm learning. And I hear that all the Buddhas have done the same thing, that they all were screwed up like me, that Buddhas were just like me before they were Buddhas. That's what I heard. Even Shakyamuni Buddha had the same kind of... He stood perpendicular. He sat perpendicular. He walked perpendicular. He reclined perpendicular in the middle of being that kind of a creature. And he woke up. It isn't that he practiced this kind of perpendicularness and then woke up. It's that he practiced this and he was enlightened. They're the same thing. It's not one leading to the other.

[66:27]

They're the same thing. You practice this way and you're enlightened. You are Buddha, but if you're not perpendicular, if you have biases and inclinations and attachments, you can't stand straight. So then you lose out on your enlightenment. And since you're enlightened, you get to have a treat. Watch how the world realizes you. Sorry, but just a reminder.

[66:59]

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