Over and over again, I have offered some words about what enlightenment is. And I will offer them again now that I say, I say, that enlightenment is the silent bond among all beings, among all living and nonliving, among all fairly enlightened and unenlightened.

[01:07]

Enlightenment is the silent bond between those who realize the bond and those who do not realize the bond. Some people understand that we are all intimately mutually nurturing each other. Those are the enlightened ones. But the enlightenment that they have awakened to is actually something that completely includes those who have not yet awakened. And also it includes non-living things like mountains, rivers, and every particle in the universe is also in this silent bond. And as I mentioned last night, it's silent in the sense that it's silent. No words reach this bond.

[02:11]

This bond is actually the bond between all words. People are talking over here. People are talking over there. Some people are quiet and listening. But all the words, the way all the words are working together is silent. Now, somebody may be talking about that bond, like me, I'm talking about it, but these words don't reach the bond. However, the bond can talk, and right now it's talking. Enlightenment, it's a way that we are together that words don't reach, but it can talk. And it does. So that's enlightenment. And the Buddha is, in one sense, the Buddha is that enlightenment.

[03:24]

So we were talking about the relationship between meditation. We've been talking about the relationship between meditation and the bodhisattva precept. And the first bodhisattva precept is to go and return to Buddha, or a wreckage in Buddha. To return and rely on Buddha. to return to this bond among all beings and rely on that bond as a primary, as a hope, as a true hope. Enlightenment is the way you really are relating to each other.

[04:26]

Enlightenment speaks of the way I'm actually related to you and you're actually related to me. That's enlightenment. We also use the word enlightenment for understanding that. Enlightenment is already the case, and then the question is how do we understand that or how do we return to it? Because we seem, we have the ability to get distracted from it. Many of us, a lot of the time, are distracted from how we're looking to get. We're distracted by our current stories, and our current stories depend on past stories, which are stories sometimes, often, of how we're not looking to get it. We have stories that what people are doing to us right now is not supportive. is not helpful and even have stories that we do not want to help some people.

[05:35]

And other people seem to have stories that they don't want to help other people, too. Some people even have stories that they don't want to help us. This definition, these words about Buddha, about enlightenment, are saying that regardless of what people say, they are supporting you. Everybody is supporting you, even those who say, I don't want to support you. And when you think you don't want to support somebody, you're actually supporting you. But if you do think that you're not supporting people, one of the consequences of that is you might think that again. And also another consequence is that you might tend to believe it. That's true. If you think someone's not paying attention, you might believe that. How can you turn to

[06:48]

Well, in a sense, the answer is by meditation. So how can we practice the first Bodhisattva precept in this tradition to return to Buddha? How do we return to Buddha? By meditation. How do we meditate in such a way that we return to Buddha? Well, we practice wholeheartedly. We go one, two, three, and wholeheartedly here. One, two, three, is that true? Am I wholeheartedly here? I'm holding back a little bit. So I'm going to try again to be wholehearted in here. I'm here. OK, I'm wholeheartedly here. Here am I. I'm in the world. And nothing in the world is this. It's a world of, well, you can call it delusion.

[08:11]

It's a world of discrimination. That's where I am. And I'm going to wholeheartedly be in this world of discrimination. I'm going to be here in this world of discrimination and I'm going to practice continuing to be here wholeheartedly. And I'm not going to be attached to this world of delusion and I'm not going to be attached to the enlightenment which I'm hoping to open to. which I'm hoping to realize, which I want to realize. I am not going to be caught by the distinction between enlightenment and delusion. I'm not going to be caught by the discrimination between enlightenment and delusion.

[09:15]

Delusion is I'm not, the version is, I'm not helping everybody. And not everybody's helping me. I don't depend on everybody, and not everybody depends on me. That's the version. Or, of course, any version of it is, I don't want to help anybody, and nobody's helping me. That's, of course, the worst help. But even I want to help most people, but not him. Still, delusion. One little holding back for one person. Not wanting to give your best to one person is enough to establish what we call delusion. Enlightenment, as I said, it is the quiet reality of

[10:20]

unobstructed, universal, neutral. It's quiet, it's inconceivable. And so I practice, I want to practice, or the practice I wish to enter is a practice where I don't get caught by the distinction between those two. So if I feel like, oh, me or somebody thinks that we're not helping each other, okay, that's delusion. I generically let delusion be delusion. And enlightenment, I'll generically let enlightenment be enlightenment. And I am not caught by the distinction between them. I want to not be caught by the distinction between them. I want to not prefer them.

[11:21]

enlightenment over delusion or vice versa. And I want to be wholeheartedly living in the world of discrimination. For example, I want to live in the world of discrimination between enlightenment and delusion without being caught by it and live the life of leaping free of that distinction. My understanding is that's the practice of enlightenment. That's the way enlightenment practices. Because enlightenment is the bond among all beings, it is the practice of the bond. It's the way to bond with all beings and work with all beings. That's the practice. And by that practice, we actually do return to Buddha. And the next moment, we practice that way again, and we return to Buddha.

[12:22]

We practice that precept. We practice that direction. The direction is to return and rely on what? Rely on the way you're helping everybody, and rely on the way everybody's helping you. That's the thing to rely on. That's called reality also. And as you just recited in the text, the true Dharma is, in some sense, this enlightenment talking, or this enlightenment shining. The true Dharma is that this enlightenment, this Buddha,

[13:25]

is free of any separation from any of our states. Some of us vow to hear that teaching, to hear the Dharma, which is really to hear that the way we are now is not the slightest bit separate from those who have realized enlightenment, and of course not the slightest bit separate from enlightenment. The way we are now is not enlightenment if we actually think that somebody's not helping us. And that's not enlightenment. But that's the way we might be. We might feel like somebody's not on our side. That's delusion. Now, when we notice that delusion, we notice that And that's good that we notice it. What we're noticing again is called comic hindrance.

[14:28]

It's a hindrance because of past moments of seeing things that way and acting from that vision. Acting from that vision, telling stories about that vision, speaking about that vision, making talk about that vision, or get away from me. That is a consequence that we can't see anymore. while we're helping each other. And of course, we're afraid. We tend to be afraid and keep afraid. And then when we notice that we're afraid, pushing people away, holding on to people, pushing people away, holding on to us, holding on to people who are pushing us away, when we notice that we're into those things, hold. I'm not, oh, I don't seem to be in the practice of what? I'm not being caught by discrimination.

[15:33]

So I confess the practice of the Buddha, the practice of not being caught by the discrimination between myself and others, Buddha and delusion. I'm not there, I'm caught by his distinction. So I confess them. and I confessed them in the presence of the Buddhists who I think are suffering from me. And this process gradually melts away the roots of this kind of storytelling. Again, meditation is to practice wholeheartedly amidst delusion, not attached to delusion or enlightenment. That's the practice of enlightenment. The practice of enlightenment, to not prefer enlightenment over delusion or delusion over enlightenment, and to plunge into delusion and to leap from delusion, to leap into enlightenment, to leap from enlightenment, constantly leaping.

[16:48]

not being caught by any distinction, diving into distinction, diving into discrimination, and not being attached to it. So right now, if you want it the way you're practicing right now, to be the same as the Buddhist practice, Then just be the way you are now without seeking anything. Be the way you are without seeking anything. Then the way you are practicing right now is the same as the way the Buddha would practice if the Buddha were here. Don't seek anything and don't be caught by the distinction between yourself and others, between Zen and Christianity, between the way you are now and the way you want to be.

[18:00]

And practicing that way is the same way that Buddha practices, the same way that the ancestors practiced. And as I mentioned last night, one of the epithets that picked a nickname, but the nickname isn't quite right, epithet, or honorary title. One of the honorary titles for Buddha is, in Sanskrit, . And it's a wonderful expression because it has a dynamic ambiguity in it. As far as I know, it can be interpreted two ways. And no one really knows if one way should be chosen over another.

[19:10]

Really, the two ways, I think, are really wonderfully equally important. I don't think equally important. They're just both wonderful. One way of etymology, one way of understanding tata-agata is tata-gata. Another way to understand it is tata-agata. The tata-gata means Tata means the short for ta-ta-ta. And ta-ta-ta means the way things are. And the way things are according to this tradition is everything is in this bond with everything in a supportive way. Everything exists by supporting everything and being supported by everything.

[20:13]

That's ta-ta-ta. And ta-ta-ta can be shortened to ta-ta. Thus. Thus is ta-ta. Thus-ness is ta-ta-ta. Understand all this? Ta-ta-ta is thus-ness. Ta-ta is thus. Tathā means gone to nothingness. It means having gone to the way things are. The Buddhas are those among us who have gone to enlightenment. They plunged into and thoroughly integrated their self, their life with this enlightenment. They're totally what we call down with, and like, they're totally non-resisting.

[21:23]

It's inconceivably thorough friendship among all things, including things that don't know anything about friendship, the word friendship, like garbage can. The other meaning of tathāgata, the other honorary title of the ones who have realized enlightenment, tathāgata means come from you. Those who have gone and come from you because they want to. They come from enlightenment. They go from the world. where things don't seem to be cooperating. They go from the world of war and fear, I should say, actually, fear and violence and war.

[22:33]

Fear because of not realizing suchness. And violence and war, they go from that world of delusion into the world of suchness. And then from the world of suchness, they come back into the world of distinction. and they hang out with all beings and assist them to realize. So these two ways of talking about Buddha, in some sense, are two ways of practicing. And the way I like is actually one that combines the two, but you can also split them into two different sets. One way, well, yeah. The way of going toward the way things are is to practice trying to be wholehearted and learning how to not be caught by discrimination.

[23:43]

Practicing in a world where there seems to be good and bad and Studying and learning about those distinctions until you're free of them. And when you're free of the distinctions of good and evil, you come to the field beyond them. The field where they help each other or their friends. Where good and evil are at peace. what good and evil don't say. What good doesn't say, get away, yucky evil. And what evil doesn't say, let me destroy you, cutie pie good. Now it's like they really make peace with each other, and the whole field of good and evil is transcended, and they enter the field of peace between them, beyond where they're distinguished. We enter that field by studying the field of where they're distinguished and where we're caught by the distinction and where they are afraid.

[24:56]

It's a really challenging job, but that's part of the work of going to suchness and along the way admitting that we're slipping off the practice. The other way is, and this is the first way, tata, gata, going to such and such. That way of Buddha practice is, in a sense, learning wisdom. The other way is whatever you're doing, whatever you're doing, Let the Buddha come into your life. Let whatever you're doing be the coming of suchness. Right now, let this be the coming of suchness.

[26:03]

And of course, the coming of suchness, you're not seeking anything. You get to seek what you've been seeking all along. Every moment. Let your body and mind experience be the coming of suchness. Let suchness come as this. Let suchness come thus. Let suchness come like this. Let suchness come like you. Let it be like you. Let it be like me. Let the Buddha come as this. Let the Buddha come as this. At the beginning, what you practice is faith, the faith that you're going to let this be the coming of such-and-such. And you can do it in both kinds of opinions. Or you can do one period of meditation where you do one, and another period of meditation where you do the other.

[27:17]

Or one day you can practice, you know, devoting yourself, being in the world of distinction, and look for the path which doesn't get caught by them, which keeps going, hi, distinction, hi, hi. I let you be distinctions. I really let you be distinctions. I'm so into letting you be distinctions. I'm so totally into letting you be distinctions. I don't have any time left to get caught by you. I'm not trying not to get caught either. I'm just totally, I'm so generous towards all you distinctions that I forget about grasping you kindly. This is how to take refuge in Buddha. How to go back to Buddha. Originally in Pali, I don't know how you say it in Sanskrit, but in Pali it's Budam Saranam Gacchami.

[28:24]

Budam, Buddha. Saranam, return. Gacchami, go. It's literally a go and return to Buddha. This is how to return to Buddha. The other kind of practice is invent how to let Buddha return to you. Here I am, and I give how I am. I donate how I am to the coming affliction in this world. I let how I am be the affliction support to go. It isn't that I own the affliction. It isn't that I own Buddha. It isn't that I am Buddha, if I let me, ordinary me, completely ordinary me, I don't need, now that I'm letting Buddha take over, I don't have to worry about me anymore. I can be, like, a low-assage, no problem. Now, some people think I can be the worst, but that's a little bit tricky.

[29:27]

Don't, it's a low-assage, I don't think. I can even be acid, but anyway, I can be whatever I am. That's not the spot. The thing is, whatever I am is a perfectly good opportunity for the coming of suchness. Of course. There's no question about that. In that practice, anyway. Well, there's a question. Flip over to the other kind of practice. I'm caught. But then you can say, wait a minute. Being caught by the distinction. That I'm so but Buddha couldn't be here. And caught by that distinction, even that being caught could be a place that I give as a landing pad for Buddha. So one way of practice is you use the way you are as your launching pad. The other way you use the way you are is your landing pad.

[30:29]

You step forward from your ordinary conditions Anyway, your actual present condition, and you leap into the Buddha realm. And as you leap, you lose your ability to hold on to distinctions. You lose your ability to see anything. You're leaping. You're not leaping. You're not leeching. You're not clapping. You're leaping and even forgetting where you're going. By the way, you're a landing pad. the Buddha. I've got a movie, E.T., you know? They let the big spaceship come down. Is that thing called House, Devil Tower? That thing in Wyoming? That place where they landed the spaceship? Is it called Devil Tower? Huh? Has anybody not seen E.T.?

[31:31]

E.T. is this movie about this thing coming. It's This thing comes and it lands on this platform, which I guess is in Wyoming. And it's kind of nicely called Devil's Tower. Kind of like, I'm the Devil's Tower. I'm the Devil's agent. You know, I'm like, you know, and I'm not, I'm one of the agents. I'm like a below average agent, actually. Anyway, I'm just like, I'm just a devil. Trying to do my best here. And I'm going to let that big spaceship land on me. And that's a kind of a fake fact. I'm like, OK. So let the big ship come in and dock on me. So a story I told last night was

[32:33]

one of the great ancestors of the Zen traditions, we call him Number Six. And if he was still alive, he might say, don't call me Number Six. That's too much. Anyway, somehow he has allowed himself to be called Number Six, the big Number Six, sixth ancestor of Zen. And he was teaching and, oh, but I should tell you probably that before he was teaching in this story, he received the transmission of this Dharma from his teacher. He received the transmission of the Dharma of Buddhists are free from being the slightest deceptive from anybody. but the Dharma he received. How can I go on, you know?

[33:38]

But anyway, he received this teaching that the Buddhas are not the slightest successors from anybody. Maybe you're thinking, how about even not such a thing? That guy? Right? That's the teaching. He received that, and the teacher says, And he was, I think, quite young, like 24 when he received it. So because he was so young, he had some time to cook. The teacher said, now you go hide. You have this teaching, but you're not ready to teach. People will rip you to shreds if you try now. Go hide for a while. Unfortunately, he went on his fourth. He went on vacation for 16 years. He was just, like, hanging out with farmers and laborers for 16 years. They didn't know. They thought, you know, how is that guy?

[34:40]

Isn't he cool? He knows how to pick a melon. He knows how to pound rice. He was actually pretty good at pounding rice. He knows how to get a pair of pens. He's cool. They didn't think, oh, he's going to be big number six. But anyway, after 16 years, people found him and said, please start teaching. So when he was 40, we started teaching. And then this wonderful teaching came from him and all the great disciples. Came from him. I mean, came from him means he helped people become great disciples. Okay? But here's this guy, totally ordinary guy, like us. And this other person comes.

[35:40]

And this girl comes, young girl comes. And she says, hi. And he said, where are you from? And she says, I'm from Mount Plum. And the sixth ancestor says, what is the Tathagata? What is it that does come? He didn't say, what is it that does go? He said, what is it that does come? It could also be, what is it that just came? Who are you that just came? And also, what is the Buddha? The same question. So this young lady says, to point at it misses the point. To point at who I am misses the point, and to point at what Buddha is misses the point. To point at what the photographer is misses the point.

[36:47]

To point at the one who is gone and realize enlightenment and come back. And this is the point. Because no fingers reach it. And when the ancestor says to the young lady, why wrong is your name? Well, are you saying that there's no practice in enlightenment? And she says, I'm not saying that there's no practice in enlightenment. I'm just saying that it cannot and must not be defiled. by thinking that any word or indications can reach it. I added that a lot there. He just said, I'm not pious. It cannot be defiled. And the answer is just this. This is the way that all the Buddhists, this undefiled way is the way of all Buddhists. Now I'm like this.

[37:52]

And you're like this. Now I'm this undefiled way, and you're this undefiled way. Now I'm like this. How am I? I'm not the least bit separate from the Buddha. Now you're this way, you're not the least bit separate from the Buddha. Now, I don't know how quite long it was before he met the sixth ancestor. It sounds like he was in Lightning before he arrived, and he just got confirmation, which sometimes happens. Sometimes people come to the teacher in Lightning, and the teacher just says, this is the way. You got it. Welcome to the club. And now, please take care of this.

[38:58]

and induct more people into our little club, into our family, our Buddha family, and get as many people to join as you can. And then one of the other great ancestors of the Zen tradition is named Linji. Also, in Japanese, what they're saying his name is Rinzai. But he was a very, what do you call, alive practitioner. And he went to study with another amazing person named Wong Bo. I'd like to mention that Wong Bo was 70 feet tall.

[40:03]

And then I mentioned that those are Chinese people. I don't know exactly how he relates to English people. Anyway, he was a big guy, and he was really a wonderful teacher who taught that there were no teachers. You think he was such a great teacher, everybody believed there were no teachers. And Lin Xi practiced with Wang Bo for three years. And after being in Wang Bo's practice place for three years, the head monk said to Lin Xi, you've been here three years. Have you gone to see the teacher? And Lin Xi said, no. And the head monk says, well, how come?

[41:09]

He says, I'm fine. I'm here to see the teacher. And the head monk said, you should go see your teacher. Just, you know, even though you're fine, go see your teacher. It's a good idea. So what should I do when I go see him? Ask him a question. What question should I ask? Ask him, what is the ultimate, essential, great meaning of the Buddha Dharma? So Luji goes, visit the big teacher. and asked the question, and the big teacher immediately hit him. And the long version goes, or the longer version goes, then he went back and the head monk said, how did it go?

[42:11]

Then he said, well, he hit me. I said, oh, you should go back and ask him again. And then he said, OK. I asked the question, and Wong Bo hit me again. And later, he said, how did it go that time? He said, he hit me again. and the head monk said, you should go out to him one more time, at least. He goes back, out of him, and one dog immediately hits him a third time. The other head monk said, And what happened?

[43:21]

He said, hit me again, and I'm leaving this place. And the head monk said, okay, you can leave, but go say goodbye. And you can stand at a distance. And then the head monk goes to Wang Bo and says, He's going to come to see you again. You know, this is really a good monk. So, you know, take care. And Longbow said, I know. I'm really tired. Then he comes to see Longbow and says, I'm leaving. And Longbow said, I recommend you go Over those mountains on the other side, there's another monastery, and they've ignited a teacher named Da Yu there.

[44:26]

I think he will be able to help you. By the way, this is the stick that Wong Bo used. especially uncovered by archaeological research. It says, me, Wong Bo's dick. Well, he goes to see Da Yu, and Da Yu says, where are you from? He says, I'm from Wong Bo's place. He says, what did Wong Bo say? And then he said, well, I asked him about, I asked him the question three times and he did it three times. And I don't know if I was right or wrong.

[45:32]

And Doug used to Wow. One boy was so kind to you. He did his utmost to help you. He gave you his whole heart. And still you come here and ask me if you'll write a law. On those words? While Mingyi heard those words, he heard something else. He heard the true Dharma. It wasn't what Dayi said, but Dayi said, and Mingyi heard the true Dharma and had a great awakening. The story is called Mingyi's Great Awakening. And then, with tears of joy and gratitude, he prostrated himself to Daliu, and Daliu says, What have you seen?

[46:51]

Such that you are now all in tears. And Linji says, I see there's not much to want both then. And Daliu says, You dead, wetting brat. Just a minute ago, you were whining about not knowing whether you were right or wrong. And now you say there's not much to Wong Bo's voodoo drama. How about this? And he grabs Minji and holds her. And then she gives him three punches in the ribs. Boop, boop, boop. And Dayu lets go of him. And Dayu says, your teacher is Wang Bo.

[48:01]

It has nothing to do with me. Well, then she goes back to Wang Bo. And when Wong Bo sees him, he says, coming and going, over and over, when will it ever end? And then he said, it's just because you're so kind. And then He told me a story about what happened when he went to St. Diu. And then one boy said, that old fellow is too talkative. Wait till I see him again, I'll give him a beating. And Lindsey said, why talk about waiting to see him?

[49:10]

Let's hit now. And he slapped Wong Bo. And Wong Bo laughed and said, this lunatic comes to grab the tiger's whiskers. And then Linji yelled at him, and he said, and then Wang Zou said, Attendant, take this madman back to the meditation hall. Later, Linji said to his students, at my late master's place, I asked about the ultimate essential meaning of the Buddha Dharma, And it hit me three times. It was just like being brushed by a branch of mud wood.

[50:14]

At the beginning of the story, Minji didn't understand that actually one will teach it, that everybody is always helping you. And you're always helping everyone. He didn't understand that. He wanted to know. He wanted to know. There's essential teaching. So one boss left him to see if he knew. He didn't get it. Do you see this is it? Do you see this is it? Do you see the targets are coming into your life now? Do you see it? And you say, yeah, okay, good. How about this? Yeah, how about this? And I know it's too hard, but, you know, we don't, when you're speaking in American, we don't care anymore.

[51:26]

It's fine. We have other ways of being a doctor. As you may, as you may feel. Fortunately, a lot of people find me obnoxious. So it tests their understanding of whether I'm actually helping them. And they don't think so. But they go away without checking with me, so I can't send them to somebody else who will make them realize how kind I am. They need to run away to find somebody who gets into their idea of help. And the story could have been, you know, about going to see the teacher and the teacher being really kind and acting in a way that we all would think, well, that's not kind.

[52:43]

That'd be fine. And there's quite a few stories like that. Going to see the teacher, teacher's kind. Going to see the teacher, teacher's kind. That's fine. But does the person understand by that treatment, that everybody's being kind. And sometimes they don't get it. But sometimes a teacher has to be who they are, which turns out to be, and not what the person would think would be kind. And that's where the leaping can happen. That's where we can not get caught by, this isn't kind. Yeah, I know, but are you caught by that? This is kind. Are you caught by that? So when you're caught by, this is kind, it's hard to understand because it is kind. But even though it's kind, you shouldn't be caught by it. And even though it's not kind, you shouldn't be caught by it because neither kind nor unkind can be grasped.

[53:53]

They're both insubstantial. Neither can be grasped in reality. And to grasp either is something to confess. Yeah, I went there and she was really nice to me. In other words, I went there and I thought she was really nice to me. And I grasped it. And I'm here to confess to the Buddha, I grasped it. Sorry. Confess when you grasp your idea that somebody's being nice to you. Confess to your idea that you're being nice. Confess to your idea that she's being nice and that you're grasping it. That you think it's true. And if you keep confessing it, you're grasping your ideas about your kindness and your cruelty. You will get over harassment, your ideas of kindness and cruelty. That's what I'm suggesting to you. And so check in.

[54:54]

Check in to Heartbreak Hotel. Look inside. Look inside. Do you think you're being kind? Is there a story of you being kind? Is there a story of you being cruel? Is there a story of her being kind? Is there a story of her being cruel? What kind of story is it? There's a story in there. Check it out. Look at it. Study it. Learn about it. Until you don't grasp it anymore. Until you forget it. And then the veil will drop away and you'll be able to see finally. enlightenment. We see the radiant, tranquil, immovable brightness of our complete mutualness.

[55:59]

And from that place you will not be afraid anymore. And the love of the Buddha will come forth from you. It's a hard job to study these stories and learn about these stories and see how we're attached to them and learn about these stories and see how we're attached to them and see how we're afraid and see how we're violent and see how we're afraid sometimes because we're attached to a story about goodness. Even the story could be very, even the story, I'm really nice to everybody. It's a perfectly fine story to start with, but if you attach to it, you become afraid and violent, potentially. Not always, though. But if you have a story that you're being kind and you don't attach to it, then you move forward, closer and closer to the realm of uber.

[57:02]

Does that make sense? even though it seems kind of shocking. So I tell you this, and I tell you it wholeheartedly, and I try not to attach to it. Therefore, I welcome you to disagree with me energetically. And... And you can use a stick on me, too. As a matter of fact, actor Lin-G told a story to his monk about his teacher stroking him with a mugwort stick. He said, I think, what did he say? Can someone... Give me a hand here.

[58:11]

Somebody come up and hit me. I kind of missed it. After some time, the monk came forward and said, I'll help you. Then Lindsay took his cane and handed it to the guy. And just before the guy took it, he whacked him. If anyone would like to offer anything, make any offerings to this occasion, anyone would like to sacrifice their body for the welfare of all beings, there's a place up here, a little altar, you can put your body and your mind. Watch out. OK, I'll be watching.

[59:12]

I invite your feedback and place a delivery. Delivery feedback is right here. Nothing to vary to do prostration. That's a good one. And then you get two. And now he's doing three. All righty. I'm a bit too low. Is there any color in that? Just take one second. There are. Yes, I, uh, just wanted to confess my own attachment to... ...my own... [...]

[60:48]

give up trying to figure it out. Okay. I also kept at some point thinking there are a lot of scenes around here. Yes, there are. Everybody here has a scene. I understand now. Yeah. What's your understanding of why I recommend that you stop trying to figure out what Yi Xin means? Yi Xin means like one-hearted or one-minded, right? Wholehearted. It means one-minded or one-hearted, wholehearted. So what's the reason for me recommending that you stop trying to figure out wholehearted? Because it is? Because it's a distraction from being wholehearted. Trying to figure it out.

[62:12]

In the wholehearted, you don't have any time to figure out what being wholehearted is. So start by trying to find out what wholehearted is. Start by figuring out, sort of figuring out onto the, into the wholeheartedness. The wholeheartedness. need to figure it out. Are you ready? Any other offerings this morning or feedback?

[63:13]

Yeah, the back of the room. Wait. Hi. Hi. So I've been studying myself, and your indication could be back. And what I know is that... In the air? In the back? No, no. Would you speak up? Okay. Bing, Betty, bing. Bing! So I've been studying myself. And you invited the last couple of days to come up. And what I've noticed is that I have two parts going on. Sing it, Betty. Sing it.

[64:17]

I have two parts going on. One of them is, I'm going to speak for the one that constrains me first. Okay. The one that constrains me speaks first. Yes. Okay. And it's very skeptical, because this is a story too, and it's a good story, because it's better than, you know, what is the meaning of my life, and why am I here? So there's that, and it holds me back. And I think it's afraid of making a mistake. There's a story about being afraid to make a mistake. Yes. And it's old. It's an old story. Yeah. It has lots of parts to it. It's been repeated many times. Yeah. Lots of threads. And then there's a part of me that responds and wants to come forward. And I'm curious about that and what is it?

[65:20]

And so I've just been trying to hold them both, like you talk about in Facebook, and like a question that doesn't have an answer. Mm-hmm. Good. And holding them in Facebook is the same as giving. So I'm giving them. You're giving them. You just gave them. Thank you very much. And I hope you gave them with no expectations. and if you didn't if you had an expectation you can confess that you can give me a confession I don't know what I was expecting accepting there probably I'll look at that I'll be serious about that and Ramona said that when we read the sutra in the morning But that's a great comfort in, like, it says the Buddhas were once like us.

[66:28]

The God Buddhas enlightened us just like you. And so I want to thank you because I'm the part of me that is responding, you know, the skeptics say, if you are the Buddha, then I'm the one who says you are the Buddha. I think you understand. And you've been very patient and generous. and available. And I also believe, from this one that was just responding, that, you know, you talk about dependent colorizing, and so I'm curious. I'm trying more and more to be curious about what's right in front of me, and you're right in front of me. And so my question is, I know why you're here, I think.

[67:34]

I don't know. To wake up with me. Why am I... You see that? Yes. You said you know why I'm here, okay? I think. Yeah. So put a question mark on that. Okay. See? You think I'm here for whatever, anyway. If people think I'm here to help you, put a question mark on that. See that? See that story about me, that I'm here to help you. See that as a question. If you think I'm here to not help you, see that story as a question. Okay. To promote your curiosity. To find out who I really am. To get over your... Right. Story about me. Right. I don't mind your story, but to tell you the truth, my real vow is... Rather than you having a really good story about me, I most want you to get over your story about me. Okay, but my experience in this moment is that you're reflecting.

[68:40]

I am. So... What am I to do? Am I to reflect to you? You receive the light and you emanate the light. And that's the Samadhi for you to learn. That's the meditation for you to learn. That you're receiving the light and giving the light. And of course you need light, you don't attach to it. Thanks for coming. I'll be back. Pardon?

[69:55]

I would like my gift now, please. I may need some help opening this theater. But please help me opening this theater. Could you turn and face the group, please? It's a musical, yeah. I think we all know this one. In this world, there are many, many flip-flop games.

[71:00]

I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be confident. But it's no great honor either. But what would be so terrible if I had a small heart? If I were enlightened, Gotta dee-duh, dee-duh, doo-duh, dee-duh, dee-duh, dee-duh sound. All day long, I sit on my tick-tock. If I were a floating top of man, I wouldn't have to work hard. Gotta dee-duh, [...] dee-duh sound. If I were a floating top of man, dee-duh, dee-duh, dee-duh, dee-duh sound. I'd build a big window with rooms by the dozen right in the middle of town.

[72:02]

A golden roof with real jewel floors below. There would be one long scroll with an arrow pointing up and one with an arrow pointing down. And one more pointing nowhere just to show. I don't. I need to talk. Let's see if we can't with this slide. If we were in life, then we'd be a little, [...] little dumb. All day long we'd sit on our bum if we were in your land. We wouldn't have to work our yada-dee-da-dee-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-

[73:19]

If you please, Roshi Choan. Pardon me, Roshi Choan. Posing problems that would cross my sensei's eyes. And it wouldn't make a bit of difference if the answer was right or wrong. When you're enlightened, they think you really know. Ah, well, I'm not looking. Thank you. Are you taking any pain? No, no, no. Am I ready? All right. Let's try it. From the top. If we were on the moon, we'd be a little, [...] little dumb.

[74:24]

If we are, if we could be, non-gressing, I think the [...] one [...]

[75:57]

I think you get lunch. We have a lot of different ways to do this. We have a lot of different ways to do this. We have a lot of different ways to do this. I don't know. [...] You have a feedback?

[77:40]

Any questions? How could you think more about the nature of the grasping and maybe the study skill, the study that you were reflecting about? looking at and study carefully the distinctions you're making to alleviate the grasping.

[78:49]

Can you hear anybody, Jen? You back? OK. You said something about how to learn about and study grasping. Yeah. Well, how do you observe, if the grasping that we're doing for uniform, it seems implied in many of your discussions earlier this week that if one were attached to these distinctions that we're making, one story versus another, we would somehow always know that. Maybe that That's just my story about what I heard, I think. But maybe you have more to say about that. You're saying, do I know when I'm grasping a distinction? Yeah. How do you know? Usually, if you think you're grasping a distinction, you are.

[79:52]

And, for example, if I feel a distinction, if I notice a distinction or discrimination between berry and red, one of the ways I might think, well, I wonder if I'm attached to that distinction. So one of the ways of testing it would be to notice if I feel any anxiety when I see. And oftentimes, we can find anxiety. And if we can't find anxiety, then oftentimes we get closer to the person and start to feel it more. Just anxiety or other sort of emotions? Well, hatred would probably also indicate it. But hatred is unfollowed from feeling uncomfortable.

[80:55]

Like the person comes over and sticks their hand in your mouth. Like they dip their hand in some polluted material and you start reaching over to put it in your mouth. And you feel afraid. then you might think, oh, I'm attaching to the distinction between my mouth and those pollutants on his finger. Now, if you were not caught by the distinction, you would not be afraid of this person. And you would just say, are you by any chance going to put that in your mouth? No, thanks. Let's go wash your hands. Now, that wouldn't prove for sure that you weren't corrupt. So you'd continue in the next moment to see, do you have any sense of believing that you're separate from that person? Do you think it's true? Or do you think you're better than somebody at something? It's probably an indication that you're grasping the distinction between you.

[82:02]

Those thoughts about having feelings superior or inferior to someone, those are potentially just stories, too. They're not potentially stories. They are stories. It's a story. It's a story. Now, you can have a story. I can have a story that I'm better than you at something without attaching to it. And then another sign, we can go on in many ways to catch ourselves as attaching to ourselves. So just, you know, if you keep talking to me for a long time, you'll get many, many examples. But another one would be, you think you're better than somebody and they say, you're not better than that person, you're worse than that person. And then you may see how you feel, but you feel like, yippee. Yippee! I'm free of my attachment to my idea that I'm better than that person.

[83:10]

I'm so happy that I'm not caught by that. I told this story. This is one of the public domain stories about me and my wife, which many of you have heard. We're visiting these people, another couple, and the male member of the couple, it's a male-female one, The male member works as a professor at UC Irvine, and my wife, who had never been to Irvine, said, what's Irvine like? And he said, it's beautiful. His wife says, it's ugly. And he says, it's ugly. And my wife turns to me and says, you should learn that. Thank you. So when you tell a story, whatever story, you tell a story that you're not as good at somebody or something, and you say, I'm not as good at playing the piano as that guy, and I say to you, yes, you are, and you say, yes, I am.

[84:18]

You can do that because you're not attached to your story. Now, it isn't that you switch over to then believe that you're not as good, that you're better than him. You know, it isn't that you let go of one and grasp the other, although you can do that, but some people do. They have a story that they're a jerk, and then someone says, no, you're not. You're a saint. And then they say, OK, I'm a saint. And then they hold you up. They say, no, you're a jerk. Well, no, no, I'm saying it. So it actually is possible to get good at catching yourself and others at holding their stories. And it's also good to, it's possible to get good at noticing when you're holding and when others are holding, and to get skillful at being generous with the holding. So when you notice you're holding,

[85:24]

Be generous with them. If you bust yourself every time you catch yourself and you bust other people every time you catch them, those run away some folks where people don't treat them like that, where people won't notice, which is really too bad. It's really nice to be in a place where people know, where people can see you're holding on to your story. Some people don't notice that you're holding on to your story. It's good to hang out into a neighborhood where they're on to you holding on and where they notice their own. And where they're generous with you. Some people catch you at your attachment, at your self-righteousness, they catch you, but they're not generous with you, so then you just run away. Go someplace where people won't catch you anymore. Or go be with blind people. Make a cabinet full of blind people who advise you. And yeah, so then I must be doing pretty well. Nobody ever catches me in it.

[86:26]

But anyway, there are many ways for me to catch myself. And when I notice I catch myself, I start to see how other people are caught. Catch myself as being caught. And then it's not so difficult for me to catch other people as being caught. And then to find some way to, if they want, for me to point out to them that, Or to actually ask them if they would like some feedback on their being stuck. If they say yes, then I can offer that. And sometimes when I offer, they get very upset. Because even if you offer generously, they still don't necessarily pivot and leap. Pivot and leap. But if they don't, then you just hang in there with them, and maybe they'll come back later and have another chance to help each other become free of ourselves, of our self-attachments. And you're becoming more free of your self-attachment than I think you've known me.

[87:30]

I've had a very good... I agree with that. All right. I hope we'll need the water for the tap today. And I've heard a story that I also have learned that trick a little bit, and that I'm less attached to my story than I used to be. I'm not as bad as I used to be. And I'm trying not to be attached to that story that I'm not as bad as I used to be. And you can come up to me and say, you may not be as bad as you used to be, but you're really bad. And in your position, being bad is really, really bad. So you can retire. And just go someplace and work on yourself.

[88:36]

Stop teaching people because you're not worthy of it. And I say thank you. I hope so. So at the beginning of this talk, you know, actually, I don't know, did I? Did I go up there and bow at the beginning of the talk? I didn't, did I? No, I didn't. But oftentimes when I'm bowing before I give a talk, I often think, what am I doing being sitting in a teacher's seat? I hope it's helpful. Let's see, I'm not worried. That's a story I often hear. But I don't want to attach to that story. I don't want to attach to that story that I'm not worthy. And I also don't want to attach to the story that I am worthy. I don't want to attach to the story that I'm not a good Flint student.

[89:36]

And I don't want to attach to the story that I am a good Flint student. But I do want to be a good Flint student. And I don't want to attach to that story. And the more I don't attach to that story, the more I want to be a good Flint student. And I'm so happy to tell you about this practice, which I love very much, and which I don't want to be attached to. I'm attached to this wonderful practice. It won't fill it entirely, but it hinders it. I'm totally committed to a way that I try not to attach to. And I hope you can find a way to be totally committed to it. I don't care what it is. If you're not attached to it, if you're not attached to what you're totally committed to, it will turn you to the way of enlightenment. And if you're committed to something really, really good, and you attach to it, that will hinder the realization of enlightenment.

[90:40]

Even though some of you are doing some really good things, I know, if you attach to them, that will bring the realization of enlightenment. And, again, if you do attach, it's not the end of the world. It's confessed and repented before the Buddhas, and the root of that attachment will melt away. The curtain will part. and the Buddhist truth will shine forth. Again, I say that with my whole heart and let go, I hope. Thank you for coming and listening to this and let us now return to our serene and joyful state of body and mind. I don't know. I don't know.

[91:39]

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