I heard you say that the Dharma is vast and subtle. The truth and the teaching of the truth is vast and subtle. Now we have a chance to see it. Originally, this dharma is unconstructedness in stillness. And it's like a river, a luminous river, a river of light.

[01:10]

But then a road is built over the river, and the road covers everything. But because the road is originally a river, the road is always hovering. We live together in this vast truth, in this river of light.

[02:18]

We live together in this river. The way we live together, the way we support each other, is radiant. But in this originality, there's no practical meaning. If you reach out to get something other than yourself, you find your own nose. You try to touch your nose, your hand is on somebody else's head. There's meaning here, but it's not graspable. So we build a road over the river, so they can have graspable meaning. But because vigilante are always avid or hungry, we yearn.

[03:34]

We yearn for happiness, which means we yearn to see truth. with no obstruction. When we see the tree with no obstruction, we are happy and fearless and non-violent. But when a road is constructed, or a curtain is constructed between us and truth, we yearn, we yearn to see it. And we're somewhat afraid, at risk of it widening our fear.

[04:40]

The road is the result of what we call kama, of action. The activity of our mind constructs a story about our relationship with the world. We have a relationship with the world, and the world supports us to be creatures who can dream up stories about our relationship with the world. And we do. In this dream, in this construction of our relationship with each other, the story we make every moment of our relationship with the world is our basic action. And this story can be conveyed to our speech and our postures. The basic activity of our mind is what creates the rope, the veil, the curtain, which separates us from the truth.

[05:53]

The most important kind of consequence is that it obscures the observation of our vision of the truth. The enlightened ones have studied this veil, have studied these stories which our minds create. They've generously studied these stories, wholeheartedly practiced with these stories which obscure the truth, and realized these stories are empty, are open. And they have re-entered the virtue. They've seen the light dancing on the virtue. And they're happy.

[07:00]

And they have taught us that the way to see through the veil which our mind creates which obscures our vision of the truth which we want to see, which we yearn to see, which will be happening as soon as we see it. The way to see the truth is to study the stories which our minds are constantly creating about our relationship with each other. To practice wholeheartedly and generously, intimately, in the delusions that our minds create about our patterns of relationship with the world. Again, karma is our intention, our story, our cognitive version of our relationship.

[08:07]

that obscured and also has the consequence of obscuring our relationship with the king. We're all telling stories.

[09:36]

Our stories are rising in our mind every moment. We're all active every moment. Our minds are active. They don't need to be any more active. And although we're all active and constantly telling stories, we're not all pay attention to the stories. We're driven by the stories, but we're not necessarily aware of being driven by stories. We might think we're being driven by the world. which is true in a sense, we are driven by the world. But also we're driven by our story of the world, by what we think of people.

[10:43]

We tend to think we're driven by the people rather than what we think of them. One time my daughter had one of her girlfriends stay over for the night.

[12:20]

And they had a very nice time together. They enjoyed each other's company intimately. And the next afternoon, the other girl's mother came and picked her up. And when the girl saw her mother, she ran to her mother and jumped on her mother's lap and hugged her. And then the visiting girl and her mother left our house. And after they left, my daughter said, she did that just to hurt me, just to hurt my feelings. Do you understand? They were so intimate with each other. And then the girl went and gave her mother a hug, and stayed with her mother, and abandoned my daughter.

[13:24]

Viciously abandoned her. Hugged her mother just the pertinent way. So my daughter thought, Such was the story that arose in her mind. That's what she thought, and she thought what she thought was what was happening. But you can all see how silly that is. If I may praise her parents on that occasion, they just generously observed the story of their daughter telling them a story that was upsetting her. Because she didn't realize the story was not really her friend, but just the story of her friend.

[14:36]

She didn't understand that at that time. And a little while later, the daughter got on my lap. So-called my daughter got on so-called my lap. And my wife said to her, did you do that to hurt my feelings? And the eight-year-old girl understood and said, OK, I'll give her another chance. I'll watch it at school tomorrow. When she got home from school, we said, how did your observations go?

[15:51]

She said, I saw that I was getting angry at her for what I thought of her. Even an eight-year-old girl has the opportunity to see that what she's looking at when she looks at people is normally what she thinks of them, and that she would get angry at what she's thinking about them, as though she actually thinks she's angry at them. And this is, of course, a big problem. But even though an eight-year-old can notice this, more mature people, supposedly, can get distracted from this and actually think that what we think about somebody, like, you know, that they're trying to hurt us, that our version of what they're doing is what they're doing, and not notice that's going on.

[17:11]

You think we're actually seeing a person rather than karma, the action of our mind. Actually, we are seeing the person, we're totally with the person, we relate intently in this flowing river of relationship, but we also put our road on top of that, and think that the road is the river. And so we yearn and suffer when we have such a question. But if we stop paying attention in observing our storytelling, we have a chance to see, oh, it's storytelling. Oh, it's storytelling. Oh, it's storytelling. And there's a chance then, by continually watching this, it will become clear. It will be revealed. The rigor will be revealed. It will become clear.

[18:12]

that nothing exists independent of everything else. And when we see that, we may be shocked because, again, the things aren't separating each other. How do you get any meaning, a graphical meaning? You get meaning that's not graphical. You get the meaning of your life, of radiant, mutual support. And when you're not used to it, you might think your ordinary life will be gobbled up in the river. So then you react or recoil from it. You go back to the road. Rather be hungry and scared than be totally consumed by the relationship with all beings. Or to explode by consuming all beings. for supporting.

[19:18]

So there's a challenge there as you open to the light about how to deal with it. And so I would say to you, as some E.G. Zen masters say, you all, every one of you, is a beam of light. You're being out of light, and the light is eating into you. And you're nothing in addition to that light. But if you look for it, it's stuck in the dead. So we're not going to recommend you look for the light.

[20:19]

The light's here, but don't look for it. Study the darkness. Study the obscuration. Study delusion. Study what you're thinking. Study the storage account. Study your karma. Study the possible, every moment of action. Notice that every moment, train yourself to notice that every moment you're active, every moment your mind is signalized to the story of your life. And it will become clear that nothing is independent of anything else. It will become clear. that we have this great, vast, harmonious relationship with each other. And you will be happy and you will be fearless when you see this.

[21:24]

And then you can help others see it. On the way to seeing this, we must be very generous towards our delusion. practicing wholeheartedly and generously and intimately each moment with delusion. And delusion is basically... What were the things coming up? Not seeking anything. Generous, right? Generously not seeking anything, not expecting anything, And in the process of noticing, study everything. Study how you discriminate between yourself and others. Study how you discriminate between good and bad. Notice if you're stuck on the discrimination between yourself and others.

[22:36]

And the gentlest towards being stuck and be generous towards big stuff, you will find what is called antha. And you will learn to not prefer self over other, or valid over self. You will learn how not to prefer enlightenment over delusion. Good over bad. You will study good and bad. that your mind is presenting you generously. Again, not expecting anything for your study. So all Buddhists have done this practice of studying delusion. The poor Buddhists, the Buddhists, they're just like us.

[23:41]

They live in Surya land. They live in the road. And they yearn for happiness, and they yearn in hunger for the river. But they study the road. They study the road generously. to find the world to be empty. And in that realization they're open to the world again. And there they live. In the river, where they enjoy practicing with the river, as the river, where they enjoy practicing absorption, concentration in this light, the radiance of our relationship, our unproductive relationship. They meditate on how their meditation is the same meditation as our meditation.

[24:50]

They're aware of how they're practicing the same as all of us, for we're all doing the same practice. The practice is what we're all doing together. We're doing different things. too. But the practice is what we're doing together. The practice is the thing we're doing the same. The enlightenment is the enlightenment which we share. Buddha's enlightenment is not other than your enlightenment. Bhagavad-gita is there, but our enlightenment is opposite. There's one enlightenment. It's like a river of light. And we're all expressing it and receiving it. And we express it and receive it the same way.

[25:56]

But the Game of Thrones calls each other to create different roads, different versions of the road. We have our own stories. And, as I mentioned to the people on this retreat this weekend, many people came to talk to me, and almost every one of them told me a story. And some of them didn't like the story they told me. Sometimes they told me a story about themselves. Sometimes they told me a story about somebody else. But oftentimes they told me stories they had a problem with, and stories they wanted to get rid of. So now we're going to set stories we'd like to get rid of, or some of the set stories we'd like to hold on to. Some of the set stories we love, and some of the set stories we hate.

[27:00]

Love, I mean, I don't think there's any third attached to it. Loving your stories is to let go of them. Holding on to your stories is not loving. It's attachment to your stories. And then if you hold on to your stories of what's going on, moment by moment, that will effectively blind you to the subtle truth. If you try to get rid of your stories, that will effectively, for the moment, not forever, just now, and probably later too, Now, and it will have consequence of probably again challenging you with an obscuration.

[28:02]

But when the obscuration comes, if you generate some of it, that's the practice for those who are not fully immersed in the play. You need to keep generously relating to your delusion. Practice wholeheartedly with your delusion. Remember that you need delusion. And be generous with it. You will plunge through the delusion back into the practice that the Buddhas are doing with you right now, what we start to see. You will re-enter your light and enjoy it. And, you know, since I'm supposed to stop at 10.25 or something like that, and it's not 10.25 yet, so maybe I'll stay a little bit more.

[29:39]

But basically, I think I've said something, you know. And I really don't know if you understand me or not. But not too many people have a real distressed look on their face. So it looks like maybe you didn't understand it that well. You just did what we tell you that you don't understand. And if we study how we don't understand wholeheartedly, not like, oh, I wish I didn't understand it. I'd like to be a different life than this one. I don't like being in this world. I just want to be more generous. Okay, I don't understand, but if I'm generous with that, I won't understand. And the way I don't understand is that I understand my story. And the stories I've told you, I told you some stories.

[30:43]

I told you a story about the river and the road, and I told you a story about a lot of things. I told you many stories. I have a story that I told you many stories. I don't want you to believe my stories, but I do actually have a story. But I want you to tell me my story. Tell me the stories that I gave you. I want you to understand these stories, not believe them. Because the way you believe now is your story, not my story. So I don't want you to believe your story about my stories. I want you to contemplate your story about what I told you and understand. which means become free. Most Zen stories are about Zen people who have stories and are caught by them. They have stories about what Zen is. And they're stuck in them. And then in the story they meet somebody and they have an interaction and they deal with their story.

[31:51]

Sometimes they meet someone so-called teacher, and the Zen teacher is somebody who helps people get over their stories. And sometimes Zen teachers who are trying to help people get over their stories are having trouble. The student refuses to get over their story. So sometimes the teacher gets stuck on their story to tell the student how stupid it is, and the student gets over their story. And the teacher says, stop your story. For the sake of the student. I think the student helped the teacher to edit her story. And again, I've said this several times since we began, but it's safe to say to me that we're telling ourselves stories all day long, even at night when we're dreaming.

[33:12]

When we're in the dreamless dream, at that time, I guess we don't tell ourselves stories. Take a little break. So sometimes we're alive, but we're not always telling ourselves stories. The times when we're not telling ourselves stories are not the same as enlightenment. Enlightenment is, one function of enlightenment is to be able to tell stories and not be caught by them. To be able to tell stories and not to defend against the verdict. Tell stories not to get meaning, but to tell stories in order to help people get through it. So telling stories is not contradictory to enlightenment, but more a pageant of it. It postpones awakening.

[34:14]

If we don't attend to our stories, they generally degenerate and become more and more unhappy, unfortunate stories. Same world as before, but the stories get worse and more and more upsetting and frightening. Unobserved stories evolve negatively. Observed stories evolve positively. And when we don't observe our stories, our vision gets less and less fearful. And when we do observe stories, when we do observe our action, our vision gets clearer, and our stories get better. But it's not so much that the better part of the story is the point. point is to become free of the distinction between good and bad, third, and not be attached to either, and open to what is beyond all service, and what else there is to come.

[35:23]

I have been feeding you. I have told you that I have been feeding you. Do you want to feed back to me? All I know from what you just said about not... the point isn't to not tell stories. We're going to tell stories, so it's not about waiting. And also, I think on Friday you said something about fully expressing ourselves, and... Can you hear me? Yep. So... Can you stand up, Mike, and speak louder? I can hardly hear you when you're out there. said something about fully expressing? Yeah, I'm proud that he said something about fully expressing yourself. And it reminded me of something that when I teach drumming, I ask my students to make mistakes thoughtfully. Yeah. Because otherwise it seems, what I observe is that they learn slower if they pull it back.

[36:52]

And I'm wondering if you could say something about that in reference to studying our stories and how we do that. in a skillful way, because I also can see that that sort of teaching can be misunderstood. It sort of gives people a license to be loud and not wander around and make mistakes. It might be more powerful than that for other people. Very safe. So in what you said, I heard conviction. you encourage people, she said, I encourage people to, they make a mistake, to make a lousy. I was trying to say, well, how can we make mistakes without making mistakes? It's tough. We don't want to tell people to make mistakes, but I vow, I'm committed to be generous to people so that they're not afraid of making mistakes.

[38:00]

I don't want to make mistakes. I try to provide an environment where if they're trying to express themselves, they won't make mistakes and won't harm themselves. Not generous. I don't want them to make mistakes. I really don't. I don't want them to hurt themselves. Of course I do. Well, maybe I do, but anyway. And what I do want to do is I want them to not be afraid of making mistakes. People will make mistakes. But they're afraid of making mistakes They will make mistakes. If they're not afraid of making mistakes, they will also make mistakes. Either way, they will make mistakes in joking, in expressing their understanding of Zen, in telling their stories.

[39:08]

They will make mistakes. They will. We will. can't prevent it, and trying to prevent it is not generous. And if they're not afraid of making mistakes, when they make mistakes, they have some chance, a much better chance of learning from the mistake. Also, yeah, learning from it. And fully expressing the mistake. Because sometimes when you make a mistake, you kind of already know it's a mistake, so you kind of like try to hide it. If there's a generous environment, you observe it, but the teacher can see the mistake and be generous towards it.

[40:12]

And be joyful and generous towards it. And show They still enjoy it, of letting them make a mistake, of supporting them in making a mistake. Because in fact, every mistake you ever make, every mistake I ever make, is because you support me to make a mistake. I do not make mistakes alone. You support me. So when I make a mistake, if there's enough generosity in the environment, I might be able to see that everybody supported me in making a mistake. And if you see that everybody supports you in making a mistake, can you get hurt from the mistake? If you see that everybody supported you, although it was a mistake and although you did get hurt, you'll be very, very happy.

[41:17]

and fearless and non-violent, you will be enlightened. You will re-enter the river where everyone is supporting you, and you will see it. If you fully express your mistakes, you will see that you did not make a mistake by yourself. If you have hardly made a mistake, you may get stuck, you may stay stuck in the idea that you've made a mistake by yourself. If you're generous with your students, with your friends and children, that generosity can help them see that you helped them make the mistake, that they didn't do it alone, that you were loving them every step of the way to the mistake. This is what we need to see. If you don't make mistakes in the next two weeks, hey, I don't knock on your back, that's okay.

[42:25]

But if at the end of the two weeks you still don't understand that everything you did during that whole time was supported by your buddy, then you have two more weeks of misery and fear. and our happiness. Because you're living in the darkness of the story, and you did your actions by yourself. You make no mistakes by yourself. But you make mistakes, many mistakes, in the next few minutes. You realize. because of the generosity of your own attitude towards them, or the generosity of your teacher with you, if you realize that you and the teacher have made the mistakes together, that you and Blumen have made the mistakes together, you have just awakened. And you've made a zillion mistakes in the past, ten more mistakes, and she didn't even like them to this, at a very low price.

[43:37]

You know, you have to have that generosity, because when you see your friends, you know, your friends, if you make a mistake, they might go, well, wait a minute, you're going to make a mistake first, but then you make the mistake. I mean, that's that. Your friends, I can say, I can say that to you, generously. Your friends can generously say, They can do that generously. Or they can say, oh, you're right, you're right, you're right. Their generosity practice is to give to you, to let you be you, to give you you. to give you to you, to give you to you, and to give themselves to themselves. If they want to say bad or whatever to you, they can do that as a gift, not to manipulate you, but as a gift with no expectation.

[44:48]

And also to give you to you with no expectation, without seeking anything. They can give you negative feedback as a gift. You can do negative feedback as a gift. You can give negative feedback to encourage the person who did the thing wrong to be more wholehearted. That's one of the main forms of negative feedback that Buddha gives to you. The Buddha says, not wholehearted, that was half-hearted. In other words, more generous. Being more generous, you're holding back. They could say that to you totally okay and joyfully enjoying the way you're half-hearted. Not enjoying the way you're half-hearted, enjoying letting you be half-hearted as a proactive gift. They love being generous with you. when you're half-hearted.

[45:51]

And they might then, in their generosity, say, more wholehearted. You? Give me more heart. But not to get it, not to get it, but to give that gift of saying more. Depends if you... Yes, really nice. I got the tool off when you were telling the story about your dog. Yeah. And you asked this important question, you think that's silly? And I thought to myself, no, it may be on the road. There was no privilege for her to make that. They'd have to appeal it if I was president. I thought, silly. Did you think I believed that when I said, silly?

[46:53]

I don't know. I got caught. Well, I'm glad I said it. Did you believe it? Pardon? Did you believe it? No, not at all. But I thought, don't we think that's silly? Can't we see how silly that is? It's not going to be silly, though. So we can think that way. And she can, too, when her mother asked her the question. She got it. If they're being caught on the discrimination, if it's silly, it's not silly. So let's put out silly there to see if we get caught by that. And let's see you at the end. See? Yep. Thank you. How you are projecting the that we are generating. When we go out in this room.

[47:54]

Can I say something? Yeah. I'm not really saying to examine the story that you're generating. I'm saying examine the stories that are arising in your mind. I do not sense that you're generating your own stories. If you study the stories that appear in your mind, you will see someday that you do not make any of them by yourself. That's what you will come to see, is that you are a servant of the universe. You do not seem to be a storyteller, so you are. Thank you very much. Yeah. Yeah, so again, Like I said, I spend a lot of time telling these stories, but they're somewhat conscious of it.

[49:08]

So one thing you can say, oh, did you just tell me a story? You could say that to some people. But then you're appealing to them as far as the story type is going to come into view. I'll also give the example of, as Suzuki Roshi said, if you want to, he didn't say , he said, if you want to tame, if you want to edify, encourage positive evolution in a couple, the worst thing to do is . Not that they have to try to control it, but they have to give it a big deal. So if your friends come to you and tell you stories, the worst thing they can do is ignore it. Not that they can try to control it, get it to stop how things work. The best is to give it a big feel. In that big feel, your friends' stories will become more and more enlightened, or they will become more and more in an enlightening relationship with their source.

[50:24]

But in a big theater, when you're watching, you can still kind of say, I do not want to listen to you tell that story anymore, tell that story. I don't want to listen to you talk to any one bit of the person. But you can say that from the point of view of trying to control the person or trying to ignore the person. But you can also say, from totally and joyfully letting him be the person who's telling you that story that you do not want him to tell anymore. You don't want to tell them. You don't want to support them by listening to them. You'd like to support them by leaving the room. That's the way you want to support them. You do want to support them. And you say, I don't want you to talk that way. It hurts me if you talk that way. But first, before you talk, you're half of them letting them be the person who's telling you that story. And they feel that generosity. Eventually, they'll feel it. She's actually happy, not what I'm saying.

[51:31]

She's happy to let me say what I'm saying, to support me. And then when you say, please stop, sometimes they understand the person who's talking to them is talking about loving them. He doesn't like them or dislike them. He loves them. He supports them. He's generous. So that's this thing of ideology. Talk is coming from such a person. Because sometimes you don't say anything. You just give them space, and you're actually giving them space, you're giving them space, and you're actively giving. Oh, give, give. I give you to you, I give you to you, I give you to you. I love, I enjoy, I'm happy to give you to you. That joy is a pretty good person they are. And you, of course, do the same with yourself. When your own mind is gossiping or whatever, in general, it's okay to say to your mind, this is really like I have problems with you talking this way.

[52:36]

But I'm not saying that to get you to stop. I'm saying that to express myself, to get over my story, and to help you get over yours. Even if you don't mind your own stories. Yes? Why is it being the first one to be storytellers? I think it seems to be one of the prices of... This is a theory which I'm getting very scientific research and Buddhist stories. But I think that the reason the universe wants us to do this is to deepen enlightenment. And it seems the price of life is to become more conscious.

[53:48]

And this consciousness comes with activity. are part of these consequences of the activity. Consciousness comes with storytelling. A consciousness without storytelling is not a consciousness which is active in participating with the universe. So the universe is active in creating a consciousness, so our consciousness is active in creating the universe. But the consequence of this activity is that it comes with obstructing possibilities. In a way, it requires more enlightenment to understand the process of creation. It seems that the universe wants us to understand the process of creation. Actually, in writing, A preface to a book by my younger brother, the person is ordained the same time as me, the same day as me.

[54:50]

And he's a builder. He builds buildings, he builds temples, and he builds a state. And I said, being a builder, he exemplifies the dilemma between constructing a building, or work, and . In one sense, it's a wonder that we want to realize in the world that in order to do it, we need to do some work. But then the work, if you get caught in the works, it's a pure wonder. So there's some part of us that wants to realize this river in some fields that has a certain kind of national meaning, where we live and recreate and reproduce. But then we were caught by the process of construction. So...

[55:45]

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