in surveying the past, we find that transcendence of both mundane and sacred have depended entirely on the strength of zazen. The ability to die while sitting or standing and even come back from death if our friends cry too much. A week later, all these kinds of wonderful things depend on the power of Zazen. The power based on being settled in this settled stillness, being aware that others are ourself.

[01:14]

Others are ourself. Based on such a practice, many things are possible. Think about this and also this is beyond our thinking. In our house, whenever a blessing comes, the question arises, is this because of Zazen? And if I'm asked the question, I say, yes. And then the questioner says, that is, of course, the ceremony of Zazen. It used to be just, is this Zazen?

[02:21]

Yes. But now, the ceremony of Zazen. There's more to Zazen than the ceremony of Zazen. But the ceremony is enlightenment. And this performance is a painting of Zazen. It's a dramatic performance of Zazen. it's a fictional representation of Zazen in play. It's a playful, fictional presentation of enlightenment. And the only way to perform enlightenment is fictionally.

[03:30]

Otherwise, one might think that the performance was true and grasp it. And enlightenment, of course, cannot be grasped. But it can be performed. It can be carved. This morning someone gave me a sculpture of Buddha. It's not broken yet. I think the first time I heard this story was from our dear teacher, Suzuki Roshi. The story about the Duke of Zhou. Do you know the Duke of Zhou? Right, that's the one.

[04:36]

He lived in China, apparently. There's a fictional account of him. He lived in China and he loved dragons. He was a dragon aficionado. He had lots of carved dragons in his estate. And one day, a real dragon was flying into his estate and thought, since he liked dragons so much, he would like to meet this dragon. And he flew down to visit the duke. And the duke, among his carved dragons, when he saw the real dragon, he was very frightened and fainted. And those of you who laughed, that's just what Suzuki Roshi did when he told that story. The carved dragon and the real dragon are close relations.

[05:45]

And we can carve dragons. And we can see the carved dragons. And Dogen says, Oy, he says, you know, don't esteem or despise the carved dragon. Become adept become intimate with the carved dragon. Seems to me you're all here, together, becoming adept at carving dragons. Don't esteem your carved dragon. Some periods you think, oh, that was a good carved dragon. Some periods you think, oh, I hate that dragon. But anyway, that's not really, that's part of the deal, but that's not really the point. The point is become intimate with your dragon carving, with your painted Zazen.

[06:52]

And also don't esteem the true dragon, the real dragon, and don't despise it. Become intimate with it. Simple way to become intimate with it is become intimate with it by carving. Ritually performing you become intimate with both. This whole process, the process of the carving and and also of course the process of the real dragon cannot be understood by discriminative thinking. Of course we can't understand the real dragon with discriminative thinking. But we can't even understand the real dragon, I mean the card dragon, with discriminative thinking either.

[07:59]

We can use discriminative thinking on the dragon carving. Because dragon carving is an art. ceremonial performance of Zen meditation is an art. It's a musical. It's an orchestra. I mean, it's a symphony. It's all forms of art. And these can be criticized. And this is a place where criticism might be appropriate in our practice, here's a place to use our discriminative thinking to work it energetically and exhaustively and apply it to the study and criticism ceremonies of our rituals.

[09:03]

In other words, in this context of every action, because in this context all actions our ritual. What the ritual realizes is beyond discriminative thinking, cannot be reached by discriminative thinking. Buddha meeting Buddha Meeting cannot be reached by discriminative thinking, but the ceremony of Buddha meeting Buddha, the ritual performance of Buddha meeting Buddha, that can be perhaps deepened and refined and encouraged by discriminative thinking. That ceremony wasn't done very well.

[10:09]

Let's try it again this way. Yeah. Let's use discriminative thinking to encourage the ceremony of Zazen. Bukkan Zazengi is a criticism of the ceremony of Zazen to encourage us. He's telling us what it is and what it isn't. He's applying his discriminative thinking to a process of discriminative thinking to encourage our artistic ritual performance of this sensual exercise. I encourage all of you in the systems of the ceremony we're doing in the sake, for the sake of the ongoing exaltation of this ceremony.

[11:19]

Once again to say that this that this so-called Zazen process, this enlightenment process, this process of Buddha meeting Buddha, this process of understanding others as ourself, this process of helping others, which is beyond human intellection, beyond human agency, this process can be realized by our art. And the art form is public and open to critique and refinement in the process. So it seems to me that the critique should be in the spirit of, I am devoted to realizing the Buddhadharma, We and you are performing the art in order to change the world.

[12:41]

And for the sake of enhancing this, I offer my criticism. I'm trying to help the process. And I sincerely and intensely criticize it for the benefit of all. It's not that I don't appreciate it, it's that I wish to contribute to the most beautiful performance. Part of the performance is to take up residence in this body and to put this body in a posture so that the body feels totally settled into the body. The body which I'm speaking out of, this body which is speaking, down in the area of my lower back, around my lower back and my abdomen which is on the front side of the torso and

[13:56]

the spine which is on the back, there's some relationship. There's a certain way of the spine and the pelvis being held so that the front of the body feels like it's not holding back from itself. So that the abdomen feels like it's like really like being, doing its abdomen thing. There's another way of holding the spine where it's kind of like the abdomen isn't really fully occupying its abdominal, its abdominals. It's like this, you know, so for me, if my back curves backwards, my abdomen kind of doesn't fully embrace itself, or it doesn't fully realize itself. There's a certain place where if I can put my spine in the right position, I feel like my abdomen is fully realized.

[15:01]

In other words, the abdomen is intimate with itself. And this lower back then also is kind of like intimate with itself in a way that goes with the abdomen being fully realizing itself. And the abdomen fully realizing actually then also supports the lower back realizing itself. So that's an example of the performance of the posture of being present. It's a little art. And it's very fragile. It's very delicate. It's just for the moment and the next moment again. and the next moment again, and the next moment again. This is part of the art. It's taking care of this body in an intense way, detailed, but also kind of some playfulness there.

[16:10]

to find that full participation in the various parts. There are many examples like this for other parts of the body, too. And the same with your thinking. the balancing between really feeling the urgency of paying attention to what's going on in the mind and that it's really to be settled in what's happening. At the same time, although it's really important to remember, again quoting Suzuki Roshi, that it's really important, it's so important, it's much too important to be taken seriously.

[17:14]

So to really be intent on something, like taking mindfulness of your mind, but also be relaxed about failing to do so, and be relaxed about succeeding to do so. We need to be relaxed and at the same time. so that we can play with the settling process or play in the settling process. Someone says, yes, but Dogen says we should practice as though fire in our hair. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, I know, I heard. How do you relax while you're putting out a fire in your hair? That's hard, right?

[18:16]

It's hard to even be in the neighborhood of burning. But to be there, right in the fire, and then relax and be playful, that seems difficult. Yeah, it's a difficult art. And I think I quoted... in his last recorded speaking engagement, is that right? Where he said, he didn't say this, but it's kind of like, sorry, didn't say that, but kind of like, sorry, but it's only in the midst of fierce that the real work of the artist is happening. Buddhas turn the wheel of Dharma in the middle of fierce flames. But you know, they're cool, and they're relaxed, and they're playful in the midst of fierce flames.

[19:19]

They live in the suburbs. They're right at the center of the universe of change. And there's fire burning around them. This is a serious business. So it should not be taken seriously. It should be... But it's hard. So I also saw the example of like, okay, there's a fire and here comes the fire department. Here come the fire people. They want to save the building. It's serious. It's important. And they want to protect the rats that live in the house. And the people too, the humans too. Whatever, they're trying to protect. This is important work. And if they do save the building and the people, we say, well, they helped. So do I say, what about them coming and being playful?

[20:23]

The bodhisattvas are actually vowing, aspiring to be able to go into the fires and teach beings in the flames to play. Because beings are in flames, who's going to teach them to play? I will be in flames, you will be in flames. Let's learn how to play now with the flames we've got because other ones are coming. Even if you don't get cremated, other flames are coming. And will the practice continue through it? I propose maybe it can if we learn to be playful in the flames. Just playful in the flames, it's being in the flames and being playful. I heard from people that there's flames in this room.

[21:33]

People are experiencing, they're burning. They sometimes think in the flames, why did I join the fire department? How did I get myself into this kind of work? But you have joined the fire department, you have entered the cauldron, you are in the middle of the flames. Once you're there and not resisting anymore, or maybe not even before you stop resisting, but while you're still resisting, start playing. And then when you're not resisting anymore, continue to play. And then the wheel of Dharma will be turned in that place. by performing this ceremony of sitting upright in these flames and being relaxed and flexible and gentle, very gentle, with the painful burning flesh, then the performance will be good.

[22:46]

Still, he should invite critics to the book and write their criticism because then if it's a good play, if it's a good painting, a good carving, then other people will come and give it a try. This thing isn't just that more people will come and watch. People will come and try it. And as you know, we have like in Bhringalach and Tathagata too, we have a nice garden. So people come to the garden because they like the flowers and the vegetables and the fruits. And then they gradually come to the Zendo. and then they see the Zendo performance, and they say, well, maybe I tried the fruit, I tried the vegetables, maybe I'll become a Zen artist like these other people.

[24:02]

I'm allowed to come in here and give it a try. I can be one of the performers. They'll actually teach me how to perform the ritual on Sunday mornings. And then I can come to a one-day sitting and a seven-day sitting. Yes. And I can encourage other people to come and learn this art. And I hope to do it really well so that when people criticize my performance, people will... We've had some nice articles in the newspaper recently. Did you see them? Yeah. They didn't... I don't think they said the ceremony of Zazen, but... Something occurred to me as I was speaking to you.

[25:11]

You maybe can guess what it is. Can you guess what it is? Well, it's kind of a song. It's a... Yeah, it's a song, right. You're right, it's a song. What song do you think it is? Yeah, right. It's more specific than that. Okay. is called, How to Paint the Portrait of the Tathagata. First, paint a cage with big beams on the ceiling and a thick old wooden floor.

[26:26]

with the door open. Paint the cage with the door open. Paint something pretty, something simple, something beautiful. Yeah, we do that here. We paint something pretty, something simple, something beautiful. something useful. Nice useful greens. A posture. So paint these things for the bird. Then place the canvas against a tree in a garden or a wood.

[27:34]

or in a forest, in a valley, or in a mountain, or in a dragon's cave. If you're playful with poetry like this, you're liable. That's a risk I take. It's difficult for you to tell where the poem begins and ends. You may have to do some research in your criticism. Hide behind the tree. without speaking, without moving.

[28:41]

Sometimes the bird comes quickly, but it can just as well spend long years before deciding to come into the cage. Get discouraged. Wait. Wait years if necessary. The swiftness or the slowness of a bird into the cage, having no rapport with the success of the painting. When the bird comes, she comes, observe the most profound silence.

[29:45]

Until the bird enters the cage. And when he has entered, gently close the door with the brush. Then the bars of the cage, one by one, taking care not to touch any of the feathers of the bird. Then paint the portion of the tree, choosing the most beautiful of its branches for the bird.

[30:49]

Paint also the green foliage and the wind's freshness. Paint the dust of the sun. and paint the noise of insects in the summer heat and then wait for the bird to decide to sing. If the bird doesn't sing, it's a bad sign. A sign that the painting was bad. If he sings, it's a good sign. It's a sign that you can sign. So then very gently pull out one of the feathers of the bird.

[31:57]

And you write your name in the corner of the painting. a thought occurred to me earlier today or earlier some day that playing the role of the teacher in the musical Sashin walking around the zendo touching the body's of the students pretending to be Zen students, the student or the apprentice is making a carving of a Zen student, of a Zen yogi, of a Zen master.

[33:17]

They're making these sculptures. And then the teacher checks out the vessel, the bowl. I was thinking that. It feels, you know, is it bound? And of course these are a little bit difficult because these bowls are wrapped. These sculptures are wrapped. So it's like feeling the sculpture through the clothing, especially through, you know, down quilting is kind of difficult. But that's the situation. That's part of the ceremony is the person playing the role, the teacher, has to feel these sculptures through this padding. And it's traditional, since the time of the historical Buddha, it's traditional to cover clothes.

[34:21]

It would be easier in a way if there weren't any clothes, but he decided to put clothes over the sculptures. So the teacher's feeling the sculpture, right? And I thought of, you know, like in some painting schools, right? the apprentices are doing paintings, and the teacher comes over and touches the student, or touches the painting, or speaks to the student, or spits on the painting. The teacher just interacts with the apprentice making the painting. And then at a certain point, the teacher says, hey, this is okay. And then the teacher writes his name on the painting. In those schools, right? Which ones were done by the teacher and which ones by the apprentice? Well, anyway, the teacher would sign some of them that the students did because he thought, I'm going to learn what I'm teaching you.

[35:22]

This is good. This is my way of painting. Thank you. He signs it. And people understood that he would sign paintings that he taught people how to do that he thought or she thought were you know, his way. So, you know, they understood that he approved of this painting as a masterwork. And in Japan, we have this wonderful, in China too, of course, Korea, we have this tremendous ceramics tradition. And in Japan, I know that in some places, the teacher goes around and feels the bowl touches the bowl, smells the bowl, looks at the bowl, whacks the bowl, and then signs it. This bowl came from this teacher, but most of the bowls are made by the students.

[36:28]

And sometimes they say, this bowl was actually made by the current teacher. This bowl was made by the teacher's successor. This bow was made by someone who's not a successor. All three are signed by the teacher. And some teachers will make it known that they sign all of them that they sign. And some they do not sign. And those actually sometimes are given away, not destroyed, but they're not signed. So the punchline is that there's this wonderful potter, and I have some of his pots, he doesn't sign. He doesn't sign it. However, he does sort of sometimes say, don't send these bowls up. And people say, well, how come you don't sign it?

[37:32]

And he said, well, If somebody sees a bowl and it's not signed and it's really good, they'll think it's mine. And if they see a bowl that's not signed and it's one of mine and they don't like it, it's not signed. So the way some teachers play the role of teacher is they check the bowl, and if they like it, they sign it. And some people, if they check the bowl, they check the sculpture, and they like it. They say, uh, yeah. This is a good sculpture of a Zen student.

[38:35]

I'm not going to sign it. So we human beings have great discriminative powers, great powers of discriminative thinking. It's one of our gifts. We also have the power of, for example, give. And giving really has nothing to do with discrimination.

[39:45]

It just means give yourself away. Make yourself a gift. Forget about discrimination of you, the other. Practice giving up discrimination. Make discrimination a gift. So we both have the ability to be generous and also to discriminate. And again, to make discrimination a gift And we need to do both kinds of practice because that's the kind of creatures we are. We're generous discriminators. And we can give ourselves to the Buddha way every moment. Give up discrimination about when we should practice and when we shouldn't.

[40:54]

Give up deciding when we should practice and when we shouldn't. Turn off the discrimination and just practice. As though you couldn't tell the difference between past, present, and future. As though all there is is now. If you'd like to make an offering If you'd like to use this, it might help people hear you.

[42:07]

Hello. Hi. Hi. I'd like to share a story about a great bodhisattva and non-discriminator or discriminator, gift-giving discriminator. This great bodhisattva knew how to play in the flames and perform. He was a performer, a musician. And some people wanted to take his life and made several attempts at it. And one of the times, This is the story I heard. He was, you know, back in the area or backstage. And some people came back with guns and came into the room where he was with his friends before going on stage and shot at them.

[43:16]

And I think he was hit with a bullet. but not severely injured, not in a really detrimental place. And I think maybe one of his friends were killed. And it was really alarming. And everyone was really shook up and wanted to take him to the hospital. But from what I heard, he said, I don't want to go to the hospital. I want to go on stage. And I want to play music for the people who are waiting to hear the music. so I think he went on stage and played the music and with the bullet in his body and then after went to the hospital and And lived you know after that for a little while So I guess you know he didn't really discriminate you know I'm injured and And I don't know, you know, these people see and hear this music and perform the ceremony with me.

[44:25]

And so he wanted to fulfill that, you know. And I esteem him very highly, I think. that his words are very meaningful. Robert Nesta Marley, and I think he was a great man. Thanks for letting me share that story with you. Come up here, just like when I saw you this morning, nervous, trembling.

[45:53]

Could you wait one second, please? Yes. If the people in the back can't hear people, would you speak up? Would you go like this, please? Like this? Yeah. All right. And I gave other reasons for being nervous and trembling. Simply that I feel undressed seeing you. You feel undressed seeing me? Yeah. But still I... You feel exposed? Yes. But then I'm still thinking somehow that I'm undressed and I need to get undressed. And actually, it came down to me that I think that's just concealing or trying to hide from being undressed.

[47:00]

It could be, yeah. Actually, a person did come, tried that at Zen Center a few times. He came to see certain practice leaders with nothing under his robes. And then when he got in his room, he dropped his robes to meet the practice leader. It was a male person. And so, for me, it wasn't such a big deal. But some of the female practice leaders didn't think he was really, truly exposing himself. They thought it was kind of... they didn't think it was so good, but... But the Buddha is actually saying, wear clothes and expose yourself completely. So the Buddha is actually asking us to expose ourselves in a deeper way than that would be. That's actually what's being asked in the meeting, in the ceremony of me and the teacher, is to try

[48:14]

to truly expose ourself. I really just came up here to thank you for meeting me naked with clothes on, and thank you for your support and inspiration. Please continue. Could we have another Zabiton? We have one, Carolyn.

[49:19]

So if you'd like to face this direction, you may, or if you'd like to face other directions, either way. Yes? Okay, would you turn the lights up a little bit, please? Huh? Thank you. Now the light is just right.

[50:26]

I feel like I'm really on display. Before I left for Sashim, my 10-year-old nephew, Jay, my 10-year-old nephew, said to us, prompted by his father, who is also not a Zen student, save the beings, he said. And I said I would. I wonder if I don't want to disappoint him. What shall I tell him when he asks me if I saved the beans? What are you going to tell him? There are no beans. That's really good.

[51:27]

That might disappoint him, but... I think he will be disappointed. I'm trying to think of something funny to tell him, because I love to make him laugh. That's actually pretty funny. Yeah, for a ten-year-old. He might think it's funny that his grandma is so stupid. I'm his Auntie Carrie. Is this his aunt? He is my nephew. Yeah. Okay, well. He might do fine with there were no beings. Yeah, his father would really appreciate that. He can't eat beef. But Jake has a better sense of humor. Does he? Yes. Great.

[52:27]

so you can tell him to save his father. Are we saving beings here? That's our business, our only business. Oh, good. Can we advertise that? We do advertise it. It's on all the fundraising brochures. But we should also criticize ourselves about the way we're doing it. That's what I'm wondering about. I think wondering is definitely part of the work of saving people, is to wonder if we are. So our vow, our business is quite clear. And then let's critique our performance of our business.

[53:32]

And let's see if we're open to criticism and playful with it. And see if we can offer criticism in a really playful way. And see if we can keep going in the midst of the fierce flames of change and criticism, playfully dedicated to understanding Thank you. Welcome. Save the beans. I feel that sometimes my efforts at being playful go really badly.

[54:49]

That's normal. Another thought that comes to me is I feel maybe overdeveloped in wanting to give criticism and underdeveloped in giving criticism playfully. Or another way to say it is... That's an important discrimination, to be discriminating between whether you're a little bit leaning forward into criticism. Some people are leaning back from criticism. Are you upright in your job as a critic? Available but not inclined in any way? So I would like to be upright in my job as a critic. Good. And I feel that I'm a forward leaner. I hear you. And how do you feel about being a forward leaner or criticizer?

[55:51]

Well, I am open to that, but I would like to be playful while you're criticizing. Okay. And you'd also like to be playful while you're criticizing? Yes, I would. Yeah. So like, what is it, in the New Yorker we have two film critics currently. One is quite playful. And the other one is David Denby, who is, I think, quite brilliant, but it's hard to feel his playfulness. So I need a partner. I need somebody else who can manage the playful part. Is that it? I think you need a partner. I think it's good to have actually both the ones who look serious in the way they criticize and the ones who are kind of easy to spot as playful.

[56:55]

Have more than one partner. Have a whole ... partners. Sangha of critics, or criticizing the performance of the ceremony of enlightenment. Yeah, well I guess I just would like to add that I'm sorry if my playfulness does not come through when I'm trying to express my care for the buddha way.

[58:32]

I witness your sorrow about your playfulness not coming through. Secondly, I wonder if after the guy fainted with the dragon, I'd really love to hear how you would tell the story from there. We had somebody faint in the Zendo, and the story didn't end at that point. So the duke is up and his face is on his beautiful veranda floor. And he tilts his head a little bit to see if the dragon's around.

[59:37]

And he sees all his beautiful carved dragons. And he gradually gets up off the ground and he kisses each of his dragons for help for inviting their mommy to come. And he sits down and makes a dragon. And the dragon comes back and swallows him up and takes him to his cave. And the Duke of Jal became Suzuki Roshi.

[60:43]

Thank you, and thank everyone for your partnership. And I don't think you asked for that, but some other people might have some other ways of continuing that story. I see babies crying. I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know. I have heard it said that enlightenment is helping others and helping others is to see that others are myself.

[62:28]

Can I say enlightenment is seeing that others are myself? Say it again. That enlightenment is seeing that others are myself. Can you say that? Yeah. That would be true. Is that true? No, that's a fiction. Okay. That's a story. You can play with that story. And if you play with that story, I have another story for you. And that story is that you'll understand that story if you play with that story. I have another story that according with sameness is still not enlightenment. Right.

[63:33]

My story is that the Duke woke up from his faint and saw that what he thought was a dragon coming down from the sky was a delusion, and that his carved dragons, what he thought were his carved dragons, were all singing and dancing. If I remember correctly, I think I on the first day of Sesshin, that you're speaking about one kind of enlightenment and just one way of practicing with it, and that there are other

[65:59]

You heard me say something about there's different kinds of enlightenment? Yeah, right. So one kind of enlightenment is enlightenment which could actually kind of like seem to set one person free. But I felt disappointed because I was hoping to come here and hear about, you know, the one and only kind of enlightenment. I was open to the real stuff and not just a version of it. But as I've listened to you talking about it the last four days, I have a story about it that you are the real stuff. And this one story about enlightenment includes all the others.

[67:10]

What do you think of that? I have that story too, yeah. That all the different types of enlightenment are really the same practice, the same enlightenment. So what's in common between all the different types of enlightenment? What's in common between them? You can't find any of them. And what's common is that they all support each other. Is it that you have to talk about this one or any one particular kind in order to talk about it at all? That when you start talking about it, it has to have some form, but really what's in common can't be talked about?

[68:17]

That's the emptiness? You can talk about emptiness too, but the talk is not the emptiness. And even the different types of enlightenment still can be different ways of understanding emptiness. Thank you. I have a different story about this Duke bloke.

[69:38]

You have a different story? The Duke. Oh, the Duke. Yeah. The Duke, is it? Okay. Well, he went to a sashina at one point in his life, and he spent the first few days alone. having all these stories about people who loved him and people who hated him and people who were being real dragons and giving him a pretty rough time and were conspiring to move his cushion and sort of change it for one with needles in it and things. And these stories were getting quite sort of intricate, both the ones of love and the ones of hate. And Duke was quite a storyteller? Yeah, seemingly. So suddenly, though, he had this realization that he was getting caught up with a lot of stories.

[70:52]

And they were causing him lots of pain, whether they were about love or about hate. And to find a way of letting go of them and relaxing into them, it might not be so painful. So that was a bit weird to get through, really, I think. And then he had a... You know, they can be really terrible. But it was almost like a cathartic, catalystic sort of crazy moment. And he suddenly felt free from the idea that he had all these stories. And so the following morning he decided he'd walked to the beach and he walked to the beach and he got there and it was just a really beautiful day and lots of birds coming in that were just absolutely gorgeous to look at and so he broke his sort of idea of silence and was yelling at the waves of going I'm not going to yell because it's a bit loud but yes just shouting yes and a black bird

[72:19]

and sort of just landed there and said hello. So the Duke turned around and said hello and the bird said goodbye. And this whole song came up of you say hello, goodbye. And so the Duke started singing it to the bird and the bird was singing it back. the Duke and the bird were dancing around the beach singing you say hello and I say goodbye and for some reason a lot and so the Duke in his sort of haphazard way forgot about the bird and started singing with the dogs and I felt like it was a really good life again and I So that's the story of what happened to the Duke.

[73:24]

But the question that comes up is, how come he's got pain again? Because there's not been any story of hate or love, but there's pain now. It's something for him to take care of. Yeah. Yeah. Something for him to practice settling with. Something for him to sit in the middle of. It's his seat.

[74:26]

The pain is his seat. How come it's not so painful when he's sort of close to someone who... He just keeps opening his heart. How come that? How is it being so close to such a person makes... Why does it... How? Hey, I'm bloody stuck. Thank you very much. Thank you. I do it.

[75:58]

You can both come. It's okay. You can both come. I thought you were going to the bathroom. I changed my mind. I wanted to risk perhaps mixing metaphors. I heard it said earlier that the bodhisattva's practice is to stay in the fire and work with... No. Not stay. Don't stay. Okay. Don't stay. But go into the fire. Bodhisattva doesn't stay anywhere. Okay. To enter the fire and to work with beings... to work with them playfully. Yeah. And So I wondered about what the fire represented.

[77:09]

And I was thinking about the parable of the burning house, where the Buddha, in the form of the father, takes his skillful means of to his children who are playing in the burning house, that he has the different ox carts, each one corresponding to the one which that particular child likes, and that they come running out of the house. And I'm wondering, is that the same fire? That was my first question. Is that the same fire? Good, I'm glad that helps. The fire, the father, the Buddha, is in the midst of fire. The fires have changed. The fire is the suffering of all beings. The children are in the fire, but they don't know they're in the fire. So the Buddha is in the middle of the flames in which the children are also in the flames with the Buddha, but they don't know it. So he wants to get them actually to come out of their ignorance of the flames.

[78:13]

He wants them to put aside their distractions and realize that he's in the flames with them and all beings. So he doesn't really want them to come out of the house. He wants them to wake up to what their circumstances are. Yes, right. And I noted that... But he can't get them to look... He can't get them to... As long as they're in the house with their toys, they won't... They just can't notice their situation. They just can't look away from their toys. So he tells them other toys. Then they come out for the other toys, and then they find out that they're in flames. And the other toys... Yeah, the other toys are Sashin, right. I thought that the children were playing and needed to be drawn from their attention to their play, to their reality. Yeah, and he could use their playfulness. He could use their playfulness. Since they could play, he could play with them. And by playing with them, they could come to recognize the reality of the one vehicle.

[79:20]

Now, my final question is this. Since the Buddha, in a sense, during the Lotus Sutra is admitting that he's misled these kids to get them to come out of the house, is it possible that we're to hear a sutra in the future that tells us that there is no ox cart at all? Well, the fact that there... It's not so much that there is no ox cart, but rather we can't find the ox cart. It can't be found. And the reason and the fact that it can't be found is what allows everything to be the oxcart. I've been playing with it. It's actually okay to have a miserable life.

[80:23]

Like a really miserable life. Yeah. A deluded, miserable life. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. It's just something to be compassionate with. Like a really miserable, uncompassionate life. Yes. A miserable, uncompassionate life is something to be compassionate with. And the compassion does not think there's something wrong with the person who is to receive the compassion. Thank you. like to offer what I see as difficulty, the play of being critical or discriminative, that it has the reference of self, then it's off.

[82:07]

And if one just exchanges self with other, it's still off. So, how can one play with it? Well, when you first start playing, it usually will be off. But as you continue the play, in the area that isn't your play area, and isn't the playmate's play area, in the intimacy of the two play areas, This play is not self-centered play. And that's where the play actually comes to fruit, and that's where the healing surprises occur. That's where the full creativity is there, realized. That's where Buddha meets Buddha.

[83:09]

Well, like right now, in what's that moment of facing you, let's say, and I have a limited understanding of what this intimacy is. And as to be playful with it, I understand I bring forth mild imitations and I'm open, and yet I am blinded by my own discrimination of not knowing or not being able to see what I don't know. So how can I be playful with you? Can you relax with being blinded by discrimination and not knowing. Can you be relaxed with that? I'm as relaxed as I am right now.

[84:14]

Well, if you can relax with it, then you can play with that. That's a perfectly reasonable play space. Well, the play is... I don't understand correctly. The play is actually not what I'm... intentively doing, it's actually that what's happening? I feel that what you're doing right now is trying to get a hold of something. And that's fine, and you'd be playful about this. Yeah, they can see it not being wrong, especially if it's in the play. Or even you could pretend it's wrong. You could pretend that you're proceeding in a wrong way now. But with a playful way. I'm pretending that I'm trying to get something and I'm pretending that that's really wrong. You know, I'm just like a really bad Zen student.

[85:15]

I'm pretending to be a bad Zen student now. That's my part. That could be your part. And you could also feel bad about it, pretend to feel bad about it. Like, I don't really feel bad about being... I'd rather be a good sense student. Could I have the good sense student part? You can, like, not be trying to get anything out of this and not trying to get understanding or anything like that. You can play that part. But then again, you're playful about that, and you say, yeah, that part I can be playful. Okay, we'll cast you as the good Zen student. Do you want to do that instead? Be the good Zen student? So according to your standard or my standard? Your standard. Your standard. I guess I really wish all these people here that... Excuse me.

[86:24]

Do you want to play the part of a good Zen student? Oh, yeah, fine. Okay, so tell me what that is, because I know what part you're playing. I'm not trying to get anything. Not trying to get anything, okay. I'm seeing you as myself. Okay. And I'm relaxed. And relax. And relax. Okay, so you're going to play that part. All right? And you're going to play that part playfully. And I can test your playfulness by asking you whether you'll be willing to give up that part. Okay. A bad Zen student sometimes. But I won't test you yet. I'll let you practice it for a while. Okay? So you can practice being a good Zen student, like you said. And I'll be watching. And I see that there is actually no next moment of that.

[87:25]

That would be also part of your idea of a good sense student? Well, now it's just a wish, but now I'm integrating into my good sense. Add that to another part of the good sense student. Okay, so I'll watch that one too. Everybody else will be watching also. Okay. We'll be testing to see if you have any attachment to being a good sense student. I invite you to. Yeah. Did you see the ceremony? So this is my first session in the part of Eno.

[88:38]

Being the part of Eno, I'm observing, in addition to the observations of my own body and mind in sitting, that I have many opportunities to observe other people that I would not normally have had because I... ...to enter before the bell, and I receive their notes and communications. I'm kind of stunned, and... Oh, that's an exaggeration. That's a fictional exaggeration. Stunned is not quite... That's too much. But I've been surprised at a number of the variations... Excuse me, may I ask a question? Yes. The... Is what you've been telling me a story? Absolutely. A fictional story? A completely fictional story, and I've been wanting, in fact, since the beginning, but I forgot. I have been wanting to thank you for bringing fiction forward and exalting fiction to such a high, to almost the highest truth.

[89:52]

I'm grateful. Fiction is the highest truth. Yeah, what did I come here for? I needed to learn that. I thought it was the highest truth before I came to Zen, and then I thought Zen was the highest truth, but no. So along with Zen... Back to the story. Back to the story. I'd like to return to the story now. I just was wondering... Off and on. If there is a way in the spirit of, I guess, Anthony Lake, Wayne, not David Denby, if there's a way to critique a certain aspect of the performance of the whole ensemble, would that be all right? Would that be okay? It's a simple thing, but hard to do. Easy to say and hard to do. Which is, I noticed a great many people wanting to get here at the last possible minute, which means that a great many people are actually late.

[90:59]

So it would be really helpful if people could encourage one another by coming just a minute or two earlier to Zazen, and then everyone would get in. It seems to be the case. So I said that playfully, and I don't expect anyone to follow that suggestion. It never occurred to me that you were expecting that. Oh, thank you for that confidence. But I've been wanting to propose it. So that's another story of the Duke, huh? That is a story of the Duke. His car of dragons probably didn't all get to the Zendo on time either. But the day the dragon came, they were all there. And I have another little story. Can you just paint a portrait of a bird? I haven't quite got the bird in with the dragon. Did you paint the cage? I opened the door.

[92:02]

Did you open it? Yeah, yeah. But the bars won't be painted out until they come in the door. Didn't you paint the cage also? I guess I did, yes. And then you painted the door open. Yes. And now you're trying to make something pretty. And definitely making something pretty. Something beautiful. To get these people to come in. Their friends are here. Yeah, their beautiful friends are waiting for them. That's right. Actually, but you'd like to have a few in there to get them to come in. Someone needs to be the one that's in here inviting them in. Well, I did have another story. Manjushri. Oh, Manjushri. Well, also, he's in here waiting for everybody. That's right. And Tara's in here waiting for you. And Giso with the lights on. How can you stand to wait? I'd love to get there, but I'm busy. I've got some other things to do. I can't figure out where to put my shoes, for one thing. And now we have shoe racks. Wonderful. Oh, my gosh. I have another little story, but maybe I should save it for another time.

[93:11]

It's very little, but... Tell it. Tell it? Okay. Well, this is just about my own observation, something that's happening in my body, in my... of this Seishin. I have various kinds of pain, especially on the right side. And somehow it came up in my sitting to have Manjushri up here lifting me and Samantabhadra on my right leg helping it out of the hip socket more so that it would be more relaxed. And then Avalokiteshvara over on the left just sort of hanging in there with us. Sort of supervising the other bodhisattvas? Just patiently receiving whatever comes, you know, and offering, regarding. Supervising. Supervising. But the difference in my body then is... The difference in my body then is that I don't have my conscious will back here trying to adjust everything.

[94:14]

It's allowing everything to relax a good deal more. But there's still some pain. Thank you to the bodhisattvas for coming into my mind. Thank you to the bodhisattvas for coming into your will. What will? I have a confession and a story. The story that I have is that by treating misery and pain with compassion and care becomes fully realized misery and pain.

[95:20]

And my confession is that I have a hard time believing that that's freedom. You have a hard time believing that what's freedom? That truly realized. Misery or truly realized pain is freedom. Help me understand that? Do you have a hard time? Did you just Do you have a hard time understanding that compassion is freedom? No. Is the compassion functioning fully when there's truly realized pain? That's the question.

[96:21]

Yeah, so the compassion is the freedom that allows pain to be pain. So the truly realized pain and fully realized compassion are simultaneous. You don't have to get rid of the pain for the compassion to be fully realized. Compassion is freedom. You understand that? So in the overlap between the pain and the compassion, there's the break. Thank you. Which is the same as the overlap between the play of the pain and the play of the compassion. May our attention unequally extend to every being in that place.

[97:38]

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