July 12th, 2009, Serial No. 03664

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No. I thought we could just start from the beginning and talk a little bit about an actual, an action that someone would engage in that would be the stickiness in applying compassion. I'm a nurse and it happens often to me that I will get attached in a moment to my patient thinking of my compassion. Most of the time it just flows easily in my care and sometimes it gets so yeah what that actually manifests as and in that moment some tool that we could employ to unstick ourselves from the Shenpa, in a way, and engage in the silence of those actions.

[01:04]

Well, since you've noticed this, maybe you can give an example of where you're offering some kindness and you feel a sticking point. What do you notice? There you go. Yeah, tightness. So when you notice the tightness, like I'm trying to, maybe you're trying to offer, give a gift to the patient of your attention, of your hands, to offer them some service, and then you notice some tightness. So then now tightness is the patient. Now go to the tightness and offer some gentleness with the tightness.

[02:08]

Don't be overbearing about the tightness and try to get rid of it. Welcome the tightness. Be patient with the tightness and gentle. And then you say, oh, so the tightness may still be there but there's this other thing with it that's not tight. Just like you can sometimes look at your patients and they're tense, and you sometimes do not tense up when you see their tension. But sometimes when we see someone's tension, so then there's two tense people. But then there's a third presence, which is kind and really welcoming to both those tense people. So when you notice the sticking point, when you notice, and tension is a good sign that there's then be welcoming to the tension. First of all, you have to be mindful of it. And now, okay, there it is.

[03:10]

And welcome it. Welcome does not mean you like it or dislike it. Welcome does not mean you're trying to get rid of it by the welcoming. Really let it in. you're really ready to enter into the dance with the tension. So if things are flowing, fine. And when there's tensions, these are more opportunities to see if we can dance with the tensions. So if two people are dancing and one of them is tense, that's a different dance from where both are relaxed. But there's two different dances. they look different. But in both cases there can be a dance. In one case one person can dance and the other one doesn't. So in that case one's teaching the other one the dance. So the kindness towards attention can teach the attention to dance with the kindness.

[04:16]

it feels like that there is no point in trying to alleviate it but to just be with it because all things do change. You wish to alleviate it but you understand that alleviating it is by really just being with it wholeheartedly. If you can just be wholeheartedly with the tension or the sticking in the wholeheartedness is the dance of the dependent core rising. So just being with it wholeheartedly is the place where the release, that is how the release happens, is in that wholeheartedness with it. Wholeheartedness can also be taken as just pure acceptance. pure acceptance. But, you know, a whole, you know, pure acceptance but means nothing about you. Nothing, pure acceptance with nothing, no other agenda.

[05:28]

Yeah. Don't I kind of also have to accept my imperfections of delivery? Yeah. Just have the patience to kind of write it out since it too will change. Yeah. And again, things are changing and if we participate with them fully, then all this stuff is giving rather than changing and losing. It's changing and giving. Giving everything we've got rather than losing everything we've got. So from most people's point of view, they're going to lose everything they have. But we can turn that with this practice and give everything we have. So oftentimes, when you lose everything, why don't you give it before you lose it? And again, giving is not to get something. No gaining idea.

[06:31]

No gaining idea. Except when there's a gaining idea. And then give that. Easier said than done, as usual. Much, very easy to say. It's in the doing. Yeah, right. I just came back from a retreat and people kept saying over and over, it's so hard, this is such a hard practice. It's so hard to make every action for the welfare of all beings. It's so hard. Yeah, yeah, it is hard. Good morning. As you continue and try to live... Good afternoon. Good afternoon. For the welfare of others, including yourself,

[07:33]

you may come across some human beings that are overly... Yeah. We don't know any of them. And in their way, as you continue to practice and try to also have compassion with that and love them as well as yourself and others, they may not be satisfied with the means and methods by which you're administering compassion and following your path. So you continue to provide compassion and stay with them, but they really are not happy. No. Until you change your ways. Yeah, right. So, since you have a lot more wisdom than me, I wanted to ask you that. Yeah.

[08:41]

So part of the wisdom and compassion, part of the compassion, again we want to join that with wisdom so that we're giving compassion and they don't like the way we're doing it. So part of what we want to be able to do, part of our compassion is being soft and flexible. I've been attempting to be kind and compassionate with you, and you don't seem to be happy with me. Is that right? Right. Do you have some suggestion about some other way I could be compassionate? And then maybe they say that way, and you do it that way. And then you do it that way, and they say, well, that wasn't good enough either. You say, well, do you have some other suggestion? They say, yeah, I'm so cute this way. So you try that way. Or sometimes they may say, do you have some suggestion? And they say, yeah, be this way. And you say, oh, no way. I refuse totally. But you do that, you know, not because you're resisting, but because you want to give them a gift called, I totally won't do that.

[09:49]

And you really do feel kind. And you know that this may not please them. But I propose that if they can feel generosity in your refusing, that they will be changed by that generosity. If they really feel like you say, no, and you do not expect anything when you say no, and of course, then they expect something. But when somebody is dissatisfied with you and you ask them what they want and then they tell you and you don't do it, you don't think that that's going to make them happy. But you still have this gift to give them, which is who you are, which is you really wholeheartedly do not want to do what they're asking. But you don't expect to get it yourself, and you give that. And if they keep getting gifts like that, they will learn how wonderful giving is, and they will change. They may still be dissatisfied with you. They may be dissatisfied with you forever.

[10:53]

But they may learn how to be compassionate towards their own dissatisfaction. which we just find, you know, we're sort of like, what do you call it, we're allergic to them. We just will never be comfortable with them. But we can learn to be kind to our discomfort. And nobody's ever going to be able to make certain kinds of pains change. Like if somebody's got some diseases, they want you to fix it, and you cannot. But you can teach them how to be kind to their disease, which is really, it's changing, but it's actually often changing into a more and more difficult illness. You need somebody to teach them how to be kind to this illness. And if somebody can fix it, fine. No problem with people fixing things. But then after they're fixed, then we still have to practice compassion. Thank you.

[12:01]

You're welcome. So I have a pretty easy time being compassionate towards other people, you know, other people's humanness and stuff like that. Mm-hmm. Clearly, to myself, I have more difficulty. Okay, yeah. Talking about that, you know, the hatred and things like that, and I could give you a whole list of the character defects that I... You have trouble being kind to. Yeah. Okay. Very much so. Yeah. I was wondering if there's any, I don't know, suggestions to take that... You know, I understand the practice and being present, and the practice of sitting in meditation is about me being present with whatever's going on in my world. Well, be patient with... Be patient with your lack of kindness to yourself. That's an easy answer. It is. Want another easy answer? Sure. Be gentle with your lack of kindness to yourself.

[13:06]

Welcome, welcome your lack of kindness to yourself. So I got a friend, he's in therapy, and his therapist keeps telling him, befriend your demons. Exactly. Buddha is friends with demons. Buddha is friends with demons. Buddha is friends with non-demons, too. But in a way, the demons get really close to the Buddha. Yeah, they feel pretty close. Yeah. And the closer they are, the more effective will the kindness be. It does make sense. It does. But I didn't say it was easy. Most things aren't. Some things are easy. I guess that's true.

[14:09]

Take it back. Pushing, you know, hating demons is easy. It just comes naturally. Most people know how to do that. Running out being afraid is easy. It's painful, but it's easy. Most people know how to do that. But to welcome fear and welcome demons, that's difficult. And that's what the Buddha way is about learning. The Buddha way is not how to hate people and to be attached. We're good enough at that. However, we do grow on those problems that we're good at. Those are our challenges. If things were our challenges, if they're a beneficial skill, then it's our challenge to give them away. If they're a non-virtuous, harmful activity, then our challenge is to welcome them.

[15:18]

by generosity. The first way that these things get converted is by generosity. You mean generosity, like taking the good aspects of my character, giving them away more, is going to teach me to befriend more the fear of stuff? Giving away the good stuff, you welcome the challenging stuff. And giving away the good stuff is quite challenging too. People are afraid if they give away their good stuff that they'll lose it. If you give away things, you don't lose them. They actually expand. They become greater. They blossom in your giving them away. And that will help you to welcome the things which aren't good, which are harmful, and vice versa. Some people are actually good at welcoming their negative sides and other people's negative sides, but they're very attached to their positive sides and other people's positive side. Some people are fairly unattached to their positive side, but they have trouble welcoming We have different patterns of challenge.

[16:24]

That answers my question. Thank you. You're welcome. Thanks for your clear voice. Yes. Thank you so much for the beautiful presence of stillness that you are giving away today. And I sure was blessed and honored to be receiving it. And my question is, how do you do that? It's a gift. It's a gift, and I'm grateful for the gift. And actually sometimes I'm ashamed that I forget to give it away. Because some people have not received the gift and I should give them this gift.

[17:28]

And I sometimes forget. Just like people are very kind to me and I sometimes forget to be as kind to them as they are to me. So the universe is very kind and has given me stillness. The universe has given me the ability to rest and I know a lot of people who really have a hard time being still and have a hard time resting and I'm ashamed that sometimes I don't give my stillness and rest to them. So I'm happy today if I gave anybody some stillness and anybody some rest. Because I feel very grateful that I've been given some stillness in this life. It makes all the difference. But I had a few moments of stillness. Now, do you find there is a power that I feel there is a power that allows the giving.

[18:37]

Do you use that power? There is this power, I don't know where this power comes from, and I don't know if... It comes from the rhythmical dance of the dependent core rising of the universe. It's the power of our life together. Compassion is a manifestation of the way we're living together, the way we're arising together with the world. Compassion and kindness are manifest. And part of compassion is giving away whatever we are and whatever we are. Thank you so much. And I wish your wishes for today comes true. It was so beautiful. I'd like to ask a couple of questions based on the last two questions and answers.

[19:58]

The first is, I think there is that sense of befriending your demons. I mean, not I think. We often do hear that. But I'd like to get a sense of what that actual process feels like or how it manifests in the mind. I tend to try and I have a lot of love towards other people, so maybe I will think what I project onto myself, the negative things I might project onto myself. If I weren't me, if I were someone else, how would I love them? And then maybe transfer it onto me. But I don't really know. I don't really know how it works, to be honest. And I wanted to find out when you say, you know, that be kind to the being within you, what does that really mean? Did I say be kind to a being within you? No, you didn't say that verbatim. What did you just say? I said... But you said that... You said practice or...

[21:06]

Engage with the with life and with the thought of the welfare of all beings and all beings including include you yes, and I'm just I picked that out as as the other aspect of how we feel about ourselves and and When something comes up for that gentleman, or when something comes up for me, I'm not being still, or I'm being too irrational, or whatever it might be. Be kind to that person. What does that really... So this thought arises, I'm not being still. Let's say, yeah. Okay, yeah. So then I'm saying, be silent with that. Don't argue with it and say, oh, you're not that, you're not actually, you're pretty still. I'm not being still, so be quiet with that. I'm a jerk. Be quiet with that. I'm the best. Be quiet with that.

[22:11]

So my grandson's coming to visit today. He often says, I'm the best. Then I try to be quiet with that. And he moves a lot. I try to be still with that. Mm-hmm. And then we're ready to welcome it, to be generous with it. You can also just try to be welcoming to it, but I just thought I'd set the stage for welcoming by being quiet about whatever comes. So a person comes to you, but then the word may come to you, this person smells really bad. This person... I feel my body, you know, going into an allergic reaction. So, is it possible to be quiet with this reaction? And I'm saying, yes, I think it is possible to learn to be quiet with our reaction to someone or to our real strong reaction to our own conduct.

[23:28]

And a strong reaction to our own conduct like, wow, that was great, I did better than anybody. I'm the best. Or, this is really unacceptable. So, the fact that some things are unacceptable, seem unacceptable, in a sense, isn't true. It'd be truer to say, I wish not to accept this. I could accept it, but I actually don't want to. I think it's good for me not to. I think I... We often say, I find this unacceptable. Another way to say it is, I do not want to accept this, and I give this as a gift. But if I think, I do not want to accept this, and I'm not quiet and still with it, it's like, I don't want to accept this as a gift. But I don't want to accept this when that arises. It's actually a gift to me. I'm that way.

[24:31]

The world's made me this way. I'm somebody who says, I think that's cruel and I want you to stop. I think that's cruel and I want you to stop. I think that's inappropriate. I want you to stop. You can feel that way and think that way. It can be about others or yourself. But for that thing to be compassion, there needs to be silence about it. Like, no compassion. This is what's coming. And stillness with it. Then, now I give this as a gift. I'm not trying to control anybody. I'm not better than anybody. This is just who I am. And if it's in me, the same. If I have a response to something, this is inappropriate, what I'm doing is inappropriate. Or, yeah, let's just stay with that one. Yeah, let's stay with it.

[25:31]

And be silent and still with my own opinion that what I'm doing is inappropriate. Inappropriate sounds like it's not necessarily compassionate. The word inappropriate is not necessarily compassionate? Sounds like you're doing something wrong. Well, inappropriate, the word appropriate, it's related to the word apropos, which means to the point. Yeah, to the situation. So appropriate means inappropriate to something. So if you're trying to practice compassion, then you may feel like something's inappropriate to compassion. But then we can use that feeling to realize the point. It's interesting to hear that answer. I was expecting something very different. I don't know what I expected. And then I just want to say, you said you were given the gift of stillness. I mean, what I mean is, I've been given the gift of stillness on a number of occasions, and then I want to give it away.

[26:42]

And then it gets given to me again on other occasions, and I want to give it away. It's not like I'm still. It's not like you were born with stillness. That's what I heard when you said that. Actually, I... And sweaty eyes, just having a conversation with someone about that. I had a very big head. Yeah. And it was really rough on my mother. Okay. No, that hasn't... It almost killed her. Wow. And then part of the consequences, my head got highly misshapen. Okay. And so I don't know how still I was at that time. I don't remember. I just know it was a very intense period of time there when I was coming out of my mother. And then afterwards... I heard from her that I cried for eight weeks, pretty much non-stop.

[27:46]

That's extraordinary. Because I was starving. For hunger, for love? For milk. You were really hungry. For milk. Yeah. She was trying to breastfeed me, but she... Didn't know how. She did a little breast. So they switched me to a cow. Really? Really? No, I believe that. Yeah, and then I was fine. And then I received, I think I received some stillness at that time. And I calmed down. So I know towards the beginning there I was doing... according to my mother. And I know that the birth was really... I think they also kind of broke my back when they delivered me with forceps. So my head was misshapen and my back was... I fractured my lower back. And then I didn't get enough food to meet my sense of how much I needed. So the first period of time was...

[28:46]

really rough. I don't know how calm I was. I don't really know. But I remember when I was a little boy, I remember periods of being really calm. And I remember that I really enjoyed being calm. And I also felt when I was a little boy that my calmness was really helpful to my mother. Some people would say, well, it's an example of a boy who was calm in order to, you know, and, you know, I think it's kind of true that I think my mother didn't have the gift of calm. I almost never, my mother almost was never calm. So I think I did feel like, hey, I can give her some calm. And she used to take me with her places to help her. When she was nervous, she would take me with her. And I was happy to perform that service. It's remarkable that you didn't take on her lack of calm, but rather assuaged it.

[29:53]

Yeah, and I really enjoyed, and when she wasn't around, I also enjoyed being calm. I enjoyed it. As a matter of fact, I used to sit in my room and just sit there calmly, enjoying the view from the room, thinking about, if Jesus came to visit, would I walk out my window to meet him? Second-story window. So I did enjoy just sitting in my room quietly when I was a little boy. And my parents thought that was strange. I mean, I did go out and play with the other kids. But when I came home, I would often just spend long hours up in my room quietly. And they thought there was something wrong with me, so they had my ears tested. I thought maybe I was deaf. And I don't know if they knew about autism in those days, but I don't think they did, so I didn't get tested for autism.

[30:54]

But then after my ears were okay, they sent me to a psychiatrist because they thought something was wrong with me because I was so still and calm. However, my mother would use me as a support if she needed that. And I think I still perform that service in my life now. I think I'm kind of like to people. Like when I was in high school, one of my friends said, you know, we don't ask you to come along to the dances just to help us be calm. We like you, too. But my friends, I think, used to take me places to help. and they used to take my brother places to entertain them. So my brother was very entertaining, and my friends used to come over and borrow my brother and take him to parties. But if they were scared and nervous, they would ask me to come with them.

[31:58]

I made them feel... And I'm happy to be used that way in this world. As you were, as evidenced by this woman. But I'm not always calm. In other words, I sometimes get distracted from it. We forgive you. Thank you. You're welcome. See you.

[33:08]

That's a little distracting, too. That's okay. I was, as well as you were, I was also inspired by your words this morning. And one of the things is that when I go to Guy House, I'll be there a week before you are. And I taught you a little bit about this already. And I'll be there a week before you are. And entering into a period of work retreat for six weeks and then a long period of personal retreat. And so I haven't received your offerings in this form, the spoken form, for a while. And I can be inspired by you whether you're here or not or whether I'm here or not. We don't have to be in the same close proximity. But what came up for me is, oh, when I'm there and I'm working, And I ask this of you, I may not, my time as a work retreat may not be the time that I can come in for the talks.

[34:10]

And as you said that you were ready and motivated and now I want to go out and practice. In fact, the practice is right here and now. And so the practice is right here and now and And the fuel that's there, the wanting to go into the talks, I can see the fuel. I can dance with it. And still there's the wanting to go into the talks. And I may not be able to go into all of them. Still there's that dance partner. Yes, there is. That dance partner. Yes. The wanting, I want to go to the talks. Right. Okay. And the wanting things that... And then cloudiness comes, you know, the fumes arise. And then I can't hear what's going on around me. And so how do I dance with this?

[35:14]

And still the question is still there. You said to me, that if I couldn't come to all the talks, if I couldn't come to all the talks, that I couldn't come to all of them because it might be confusing. And so then, of course, the thought came, well, the thought came, no, I won't be confused. But then a thought also came, and I can dance with that confusion. And so that question is still there, but also, how do I, Well, also the thought comes, I actually do know how to dance with this. But still that question is there, how do I dance with this? I think if I'm dancing with somebody, it's kind of nice for me to say, how can we dance? You know, let's dance, but how? How about this? How about that?

[36:15]

I think, how can we dance? How can we live together? Good question. I think that's part of the path of wisdom. Questions like that. The question. The question, yeah. Rather than, this is the way we're going to dance. But again, you can say this is the way we're going to dance. It's a gift. And then if you make a gift of this is the way we're going to dance, then you say, how are we going to dance? This is the way we're going to sing. That's my gift. Now how are we going to sing? The gift is the compassion. The questioning is the wisdom. The gift is the kindness. The questioning is not sticking to the gift. So let's take care of how are we going to dance.

[37:18]

Take care of it, yeah. Take care of it. Take good care of it. The how. Thank you for that. You're welcome. And it would be really sweet to be able to sit on the dormitory and buy a house. I hope so. That'd be okay with me. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Do you feel complete? Thank you very much for your talk today.

[38:47]

And I'd like to kind of reiterate the special moments of your piece that kind of filtered through that space. One thing that really amused me about the talk was the point at which you identified two songs. And part of the dilemma that I face in my, perhaps real life, making choices, making decisions, in the context of the Buddha's way, navigating that path, the middle way, between, you know, and knowing the way to make those decisions, to work through those.

[39:51]

I found myself as a child sitting one day in a hall without much to do, sitting on a chair, and I just found myself almost paralyzed, not knowing what to do next. and almost overwhelmed with thoughts about, well, how should I know what to do next? What's the best thing to do? With no answer. And I guess to this day, you know, I still find myself kind of searching and I'm just, you know, puzzled about... how you approach these, perhaps those points where, you know, I guess your answer may be just stillness, be with it, feel it, and accept it.

[40:55]

And yet, is there some sense in which control or direct, direct your path, direct your mind, or your intention to resolve some doubts or uncertainties about the way. If you find a, what do you call it, two actions appearing to you, two possible actions appearing to you, and if you find a question arising of which way should I go, at that point when you have the sense that you have this question and these two alternatives, if you use the tool of kindness, if you have a tool of kindness, in other words, welcome this question, welcome the question, welcome the question,

[42:06]

Welcome dilemma. Welcome alternatives, if that's what the situation is. And then you're gentle with it. And you use these compassionate practices. They shape you into a new person. And that new person now can relate to this dilemma without attaching to it. and that person dances with you. So in recognizing the dilemma, without attaching to it, you're not seeking a resolution, you're not seeking the answer, the best way. Compassion is not seeking anything. It's wanting the welfare of others, it's wanting them to be free, but it's not seeking anything. It's wanting them to be free now.

[43:08]

and in the future, but not seeking anything. It's really welcoming what's going on now. If you want people to be well, then welcome the way they are now. The reason why people are not well is because they're not welcoming what's going on now. So you can teach them that. And if you're a person who has a dilemma, if they're attached to controlling it, they're in anguish. Many people come to me with dilemmas, with choices, and they're attached to the outcome. They're attached to . So they're in a lot of pain. And if I'm that way, I'm in pain. So then we welcome the dilemma, we welcome the pain, we welcome the controlling impulse.

[44:18]

We don't control them to stop controlling. We don't try to stop them, we don't get nasty about their attempts to control. We give up trying to control the controlling people. Or we give up trying to control those who are trying to control. Or those who think they're in control. We're kind to those who think they're in control. We're kind to those who would like to get control. And we're kind to those who think they could be in control but think they're not. But we're not trying to get in control when we're compassionate. We're trying to give up controlling because we want to help others. And we have the teaching which says, if you give up trying to control, then you will be able to not attach to the controlling or the conditions that are involved.

[45:23]

Oh, yes. That makes a lot of sense. And yet, something that came up for me was, well, to push control, do I become a puppet of my emotions and my reactions? You become a puppet. Actually, you get ready to be a puppet. If you give up, what did you say you were going to give up? I guess, you know, being concerned that I'll just become reactive to everything and be dominated by... If you give up whatever it was you were talking about giving up, you will become a puppet of the dance of the universe. You will become a puppet of wisdom. Wisdom will come over and you'll just be a wisdom guy. You'll be totally, you know, you'll be totally at the mercy, you'll be totally at the mercy of the Buddhas.

[46:36]

They'll just like run you around. Yeah, it's lovely. It's lovely to be Buddha's slave. But we have to give up. our stuff in order to let Buddha move in and take over. And then just sort of like be a wise puppet. A puppet of wisdom. That would be a good Buddhist name for somebody. Wisdom puppet. I want to be a wisdom puppet. This song is... Heaven, I'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. And I seem to find the happiness I seek when we're out together dancing.

[47:40]

Heaven, I'm in heaven, and the problems that have bothered me all week seem to vanish like smoke. A gambler's lucky streak. When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek. I've heard that the foundation of the Buddha way, the Buddha Dharma, the Buddhist teaching, is great loving-kindness and compassion.

[48:50]

I imagine that when you hear that you think, that sounds fine. Does it? Easy to hear? I imagine that the that the life of whatever you call, you know, you don't have to call them Buddhas, but anyway, the life of those who understand what the life, what life is, what the universe is, is a life which is based on kindness and great compassion. Great means, you know, wide

[50:08]

unlimited, so loving-kindness and compassion for all, all beings. That's what I imagine is the basis for the activity of the awakened ones, the peaceful ones. I imagine that this way of living is to give every action over to the welfare of others. All others. So I just imagine now a life where there's mindfulness of each action, each physical gesture, each word,

[51:22]

each breath, each inhalation, each exhalation, each thought. There's mindfulness of each action and each action is devoted to the welfare of all other beings. Sometimes I would say just it's devoted to the welfare of all beings And then people think, okay, of course all beings includes me, which of course it does. But today I say a life of loving-kindness and compassion for all other beings.

[52:27]

And I say it that way because I would like to make clear that all other beings doesn't exclude ourself. If we're loving and compassionate towards all others that includes us. Others, all others includes us. We are not something in addition to others. So others and all beings is the same. All others account fully for each other. So when we act, when we speak, when we think, when we move and give that movement as a gift for the welfare of all beings, give that movement as a gift for the welfare of all beings,

[53:56]

that when we act that way, when we live that way, we're living like Buddhas and bodhisattvas. And I say also to give it because that means we give our action without expecting that it will be helpful. We give it in order to give without expecting that it will. We give it wanting it to help without expecting any reward. So another step would be to say that, to clarify this, would be to say that Buddhas make all actions for the sake of the welfare of all others, and they make those actions without sticking to anything or without dwelling in anything.

[55:08]

They are devoted. Every action is an action of devotion to all beings. And that devotion doesn't dwell in the beings we are devoted to. We're devoted to each being without attaching to any being. Buddha's completely give themselves each being to every being with no sticking, with no attachment. Born of a compassion which leaps clear of the process, which isn't stuck in the process. it is possible to be, I would say, really compassionate or even truly compassionate, really, really working wholeheartedly or almost wholeheartedly for the sake of others and still be sticking a little bit to the others we're devoted to.

[56:37]

So it is based on loving-kindness where the way is based on loving kindness and compassion but it also involves the development of a wisdom which doesn't stick to the process of devotion and the beings who are the recipients of the devotion. It involves learning the truth and learning wisdom along with the compassion so the compassion doesn't abide anywhere, doesn't stop anywhere, doesn't stick. So learning the way of the Buddhas, learning to be mindful

[57:42]

that every action be for the welfare of all others. Learning the Buddha way is learning to be mindful. And mindful of what? Mindful that every action is for the welfare of all beings. And then it also involves learning the learning the Buddha Dharma, learning the teachings of the Buddhas. And learning the teachings of the Buddhas, what is the teaching of the Buddhas? The teaching of the Buddhas is centrally, the teaching is the dependent core rising, of all beings.

[58:46]

The dependent co-arising of the world is the teaching of the Buddhas. So out of compassion the Buddhas wish to open beings, wish to help others learn the Dharma of how the world is arising, how all of us are arising together. The Buddha sees many things, but one of the things the Buddha sees is how suffering dependently co-arises. and how release from suffering dependently co-arises.

[59:49]

One story is that suffering dependently co-arises when we don't see how we dependently co-arise. When we don't see how the world arises, there's stress We don't live in accordance with the way things are happening, so there's stress or suffering. We see how things happen together when we join the dance of the pinnacle arising of the world, when we enter it and become intimate with the causation of the world, then we are released from stress and we can show others how to enter into the dance of creation and be released from suffering.

[60:54]

a rhythmical dance of the dependent core rising of the world is the Buddha's wisdom. It's not exactly that. It's about that Buddha's wisdom is to become intimate with this dance. And then when we're intimate with this dance all of our actions ...will be loving-kindness and compassion without sticking. And then we practice loving-kindness and compassion and re-enter the dance. And practice loving-kindness and re-enter the dance. So the practice and the goal are a recursive process.

[62:13]

Passion helps us relate to things in such a way that we enter into the dance with them, into the dance of creation with them. And when we enter into the dance of creation with them, we practice loving-kindness and compassion. So round and round, loving-kindness and compassion, wisdom, learning the truth, becoming like the Buddhas, practicing loving-kindness and compassion, learning the truth, practice loving kindness and compassion round and round. This is the cycle of the Buddha way. It includes the cycle of suffering.

[63:24]

It includes it. It isn't separate from it. If there's suffering, if there's suffering, then there's loving-kindness towards the suffering, there's compassion towards the suffering, and then there's entering in of the creation of the suffering with the hope of teaching others who are in suffering to learn the dance and become free. So the dance of the Buddhas and the Bodhisattvas is completely in the middle of the dance of those who do not understand the dance. It's right in the middle of the dependent core rising of the world in which many people are not paying attention to the dependent core rising of the world and do not see it, are not living in accord with it, and therefore beings human beings are an example beings like human beings can create they can shape tools ants can shape tools they can shape you know

[64:58]

in which their queen lives. Bees shape tools. They shape, you know, beehives. Actually, bees shape queen bees. Bees know how to make a queen bee. Humans use tools. And then when we use the tools, the tools shape us. And then we, being reshaped by the tools, can create more tools and new tools. And then if we use them, we shape, we create tools, and they enable us to perform certain things. But they also constrain us and limit us. What are some examples of tools?

[66:05]

Well, one of the basic ones is images. We have a body-mind complex that can create images. What else? Language. And of course physical tools. Institutions. Exercise routines. An exercise routine can be a tool. It shapes us. We even can make exercise equipment, which we can use, and then they shape us. But once we're shaped, we're constrained by our shape, even if our shape is one we really cute. So the Buddha way, if we use them, reshape us, and our reshaped self can use the tools again.

[67:27]

And other beings who are using other kinds of tools, like language and so on, in and of themselves do not liberate the people from the constraints of using the tools. We create stories and they enable us and then we're constrained by the story. So bringing together the of the dependent core arising of suffering which is creating tools using them, being shaped and constrained by them, and feeling stressed by the entrapment of the enabling tools. If we bring the way of the Buddhas together with that, we can be compassionate towards the tools, towards their use, and towards the constraints and stress that come with them.

[68:37]

We practice with the world of practical use and bondage that comes with it. Just as being towards beings without being stuck in them that would include being compassionate towards the beings which are our tools and our habits and our constraints. So this process which shapes and reshapes itself and constrains itself can be brought together with a process which liberates the process. So now that's another cycle.

[69:51]

These two cycles, bringing them together would mean that mindfulness would be applied to every action. And I guess, first of all, the first thing to be done with every action, with every being, the first step, is to be silent. If you're speaking that would mean that while you're speaking you'll be mindful that you're speaking and with your speaking. If you're listening to someone or you hear some other kind of sound, the way to practice with this, the way to enter into the dance with this is first be silent with it.

[71:03]

When people go to the symphony or the opera, they're often chatting quite convivially beforehand. But when the opera starts, when the symphony starts, usually they quiet down quite a bit. Sometimes they become really quiet and really silent, especially if they think this is going to be a very good symphony. They want to be quiet so they can hear it. And some people are really good at being quiet when they're listening. And by being with the sound you become open and available to the sound and open and available to the dance of the arising of you and the sound

[72:18]

And of course this is a great moment in art. It's a great moment in the art of being still. The next step, I want to say step, the next aspect of the practice of learning the dance of the dependent core arising of the world is to be still, to be unmoving. And I think, this is tango.

[73:23]

You meet your partner and you, I would say, my understanding of Buddha's tango is you meet your partner, you welcome your partner, you are still with your partner. And in that stillness, you're ready to enter the dance. In that stillness and silence, you're not talking to yourself about your partner. Oh, this is that partner. This is that great partner. This is this excellent partner. This is this not so good partner. No. You're mindful. with your partner and you're still with your partner and then you're present for the presentation of the dance.

[74:32]

Being in a male body I'm often in the position, if I'm practicing tango, to be what's called the leader. Where I invite the partner, who is sometimes female, I invite the partner to move. And I invite the partner to move by moving. My movement is an invitation to a movement. And some of the people who I'm entering the dance with, they can be still. They can actually not move until the dance is given to them. And it's very impressive to see some more experienced dancers

[75:44]

they will not move until the invitation is made. It's amazing. The less experienced dancers move before they're invited. Maybe that was, maybe that was. They can't be still. They haven't trained long enough to be still with their partner. More experienced dancers, even right in the middle of a lot of movement, after having moved quite energetically for a while, if the leader stops, she stops. And she won't move Next invitation comes right in the middle. It's impressive.

[76:47]

It's an impressive presence. And in this room, we do a ceremony of stillness. We sit still and silent. And again, I hope that when we sit still in silence that we are mindful of the body and mind and still and that we are mindful that this sitting still and this silence is for the sake, is for the welfare of all others. Every moment of silence Every moment of sitting is for the sake of all others. This moment of sitting is for the sake of all others. And this stillness and this silence is for the sake of all others.

[77:51]

And for the sake of all others, I wish to learn the dance. I wish to invite and open to the dance. The rhythmical dance of Buddha's wisdom. which is the same as the rhythmical dance of the dependent co-arising of the world. Someone said to me, when you sit, do you actually think this sitting is for the sake and for the welfare and happiness of all beings? Do you actually think that? And I said, Yes. And I'm of the opinion

[78:57]

that the Buddhas are always thinking about. Every moment the Buddhas think, how can I help all beings enter the path of the Buddhas and attain happiness and freedom? Buddhas are always thinking that, but also Buddhas are always not thinking. Buddhas are always thinking of the welfare of others and always not thinking of anything. In other words, they're silent and still at the same time that thinking. They are dancing with the thinking of the welfare of others. They are thinking of the welfare dwelling in the thinking of the welfare of others.

[80:03]

The rest of us who may be striving to realize this way of the Buddha's, we tend to alternate between and not thinking. between thinking of the welfare of others and then remembering to practice not dwelling in it. And then not dwelling in it, remember to think of it. And remembering, now what am I not dwelling for? Oh, I'm not dwelling in others. And now I'm practicing for the welfare of others, but I'm not clinging to it. So there's an alternation. until perfect Buddhahood, when they're simultaneous. In a sense, there's an between wisdom and compassion. Doesn't have to be.

[81:12]

If there's not, well, that just happens to be Buddha, so no problem. So again, what I'm suggesting is that you can practice sitting. You can sit on the floor with your legs crossed or in a chair. And you can make that sitting a gift to all beings. You can sit for the welfare and happiness of all beings. And again, for me, all beings means all human beings, but also all non-human beings.

[82:18]

And non-human beings are your own psychophysical phenomena. Your judgments about yourself and others, for example, are not human beings. are not human beings. Your stories are not human beings. Your fear is not a human being. Your hatred, your confusion, Your attachments, your desires, are not human beings. They are things that are not human beings.

[83:21]

But for me, they're beings, and they deserve compassion. stories that were better than other people, stories that were not as good as other people, stories that are people to our enemies. Those stories are tools which constrain us. But these stories are not human beings. They're tools which human beings use, and they enable us, and they constrain us. So if you see a human being, Yes, the Buddha way is to practice loving-kindness and compassion towards a human being. And towards yourself, which means towards others. But also, any experience, anything you're aware of, welcome it, and practice kindness and compassion towards it.

[84:34]

And make your practice for the sake of all beings. Then, now that you're situated in wisdom and compassion and loving kindness towards everything outward and inward, everything outward and inward, Oh, by the way, just in case you can't do that practice, we have a practice called confession and repentance, which is where you practice and you say, I was trying to open to loving kindness and compassion towards all beings, but there were a few beings that I didn't wish to practice loving kindness towards. And there were a few beings I didn't wish to practice compassion towards. I confess that. I confess that before those who do feel and who do practice loving kindness and compassion towards all beings.

[85:47]

I confess it before them with the understanding that by definition they will practice that towards me who cannot practice it. and by revealing my of loving kindness and compassion I will be helped by those who do not have a lack in it and then maybe I'll try again now to make this act an act of loving kindness and compassion for all beings And some people do not notice that there's any human being that they do not feel loving kindness and compassion towards. Some people actually get to that place. But they still sometimes, there's some beings that live in them that they don't feel they should be kind to. No, I cannot be kind to my own hatred. I cannot be kind to my own pettiness. Well, is that a confession?

[86:51]

Yes. Okay, good. Now, ready to be kind to it? Yes. Okay. Now we've got our feet on the ground. We're mindful and we're being kind to everything. Now we're ready for the dance. This dance is for the welfare of all the beings that we're sitting for. And now we're going to be silent and still. And we're going to open to what's presented to us and enter the rhythmic dance of the arising of the world. We're going to enter Buddha's wisdom.

[87:55]

At this threshold, people often, what do you call it, flinch, shrink back. And again, that's another thing to be kind to. It's actually the first step of the dance, but you thought you, it frightened you. So just calm down again and the dance is presenting itself again. We can also do this when we're doing walking meditation.

[89:25]

You can do it any time, in any posture, in any action. It may be helpful to do something where the actual form of what you're doing seems to be silence and stillness. And so it's somewhat more advanced to move, making this action for the welfare of all beings, and then being silent with this action. Or to speak and be silent while speaking may be somewhat more advanced when you're not speaking. But in both cases, whether... See there, I wasn't speaking.

[90:34]

Did you see that? Not speaking, that... Or I could be talking with that not speaking. I don't hear any of you speaking. Is that speaking? Is that not speaking? Now, if I go one, two, three, and you say yes, or if I do one, two, three, and you say four, it's silent when you say four. Try it. One. Can you be silent with that one? Can you be silent with this? Three.

[91:51]

And now you speak. five and can you be still with the movement of your breath and your lips and your tongue this is the art of wisdom to be still when we move and to be still when we're not moving, to be silent when we're not speaking, and to be silent when we're speaking. This is part of the way to enter into the reality of the dependent core rising, which the Buddhas are teaching.

[93:05]

Another way to speak that might be helpful is to speak of silence and stillness as space. They're like space. Sound and movement come and go. But space does not come and go. Sound and movement occur within space. Space is what makes us for the occurrence of sound and movement. So silence and stillness are like space.

[94:48]

They don't come and go. They make a space for speaking and not speaking and for movement and not movement. And one more time, if we wish to live for the welfare of all beings and then wish to enter the wisdom which will facilitate the life of compassion. Then checking in on our compassion and loving kindness for each event, each being, inward and outward, and then be silent and still with it. Make the space for it and be open and ready And all this occurs, and there's more details we could get into, but for this short talk, all this occurs in a moment, and then again in another moment.

[95:56]

This dance of the dependent core rising of the world is, you might say, first and foremost, beautiful. It is also inconceivable and ungraspable. We can't grasp this dance. And again, oftentimes, just be really open to it. Fear of this beauty, fear of this might arise. And this fear is very close to the beauty of it. Fear of it comes as you feel yourself just ready to enter the dance. If some fear comes, Be silent and still with the fear.

[97:31]

And even though there's fear that can come, you can enter the dance. I'm kind of amused right now by how encouraged I feel by what has been said here.

[99:08]

I feel really encouraged to do the practice just here. Or I should say to give myself to the practice. And I confess that this encouragement or this kind of enthusiasm for this practice. I'm trying to be careful of not to be impatient with and I almost said I can hardly wait to do this practice. But I have to be careful of that because I don't have to wait till later to do it before the end of this talk. I'm happy at the thought of the possibility that some of us may do this practice, that some of us may continue this practice.

[100:18]

And I have this kind of embarrassing, because it's so outrageous, feeling that if some people do this practice, everybody will eventually join the dance. So if you can enter it, it could really be helpful in this world if you can give yourself to this practice of the Buddhists. myself, moment by moment, in a moment, to this practice. I wanted to encourage others to join it and I think it actually has that potential. And now I'm amused because I thought a little while ago, well, today there's not going to be a song like this.

[101:57]

I thought, oh, there's a song about this. I was really, you know, really, really, I was not singing a song this morning. And I thought, well, there isn't one, and that's the way I guess it's going to be today. When one came, I thought, well, gee, it's hard not to sing that one. So I found that rather amusing. I was, I guess I was, you know, I'm feeling kind of kindly toward you, but also toward you, so I don't want to bother you with this song.

[103:06]

And there's a little bit of a problem because now there's two of them. But I think one would be enough, and I could do another one during question and answer. The other one. There may be trouble ahead So while there's music and moonlight and love and romance, taste the music and dance. Before the fiddlers have fled, before they ask, Ask us to pay you And while there's still a chance Let's face the music and dance

[104:36]

Soon we'll be without the moon, humming a different tune. And then there may be teardrops to shed. So while there's music and and love and romance. Let's face the music and dance.

[105:11]

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