These words, bodhisattvas, welcome you. If you wish to walk the path of the bodhisattvas, the bodhisattvas welcome you. If you do not wish to walk the path of bodhisattvas, bodhisattvas welcome you. They welcome you, they welcome all beings, they welcome all things, all things inwardly and outwardly. They vow from this life on throughout countless lives, to welcome all things, to meet them with great loving kindness and compassion, to not dwell in them, and to observe the way they really are, and in this way hear the true Dharma and teach the true Dharma.

[01:24]

Bodhisattvas are sentient beings. All they have is karmic consciousness, like us. And they vow to welcome karmic consciousness and to love it, not dwell in it, and observe how it really is. In this way, by this way, all sentient beings are introduced into the bodhisattva path to Buddhahood. Very simple and very intense. because it is vowing to be present in each moment of experience.

[02:37]

It is vowing to be silent and still, to practice the ritual of being silent and still moment by moment. not to miss the opportunity to care for a single sentient being, a single experience. And again, to care for each moment in silence and stillness by loving it, completely free of like and dislike, full of love and not dwelling, and opening to the true Dharma. over and over moment by moment the same fully engaging wholehearted practice.

[03:42]

If you're sitting, this can be called wholehearted sitting. This is dropping away body and mind by loving karmic consciousness. by clarifying karmic cause and effect. In the Lotus Sutra, there seems to be a chapter called Faith and Understanding.

[04:57]

And this chapter follows another chapter where the Buddha has informed his senior disciples that they will become Buddhas. After that, four men living a life of wisdom. Subhuti, Mahakatyayana, Mahakashapa, and Mahamadgalayana. the great disciples of the Buddha, hearing the Dharma they had never heard before from the Buddha and assured by the World Honored One of Shariputra's future supreme awakening.

[06:05]

These great disciples were astonished and ecstatic with joy from experiencing such an unprecedented thing. they immediately rose from their seats, arranged their robes, bared their right shoulder, and knelt on their knees on the ground. Putting their palms together in complete devotion, they bowed in respect and gazed up at his honored face and said to the Buddha, we leading monks, old and worn out, believed that we had already attained nirvana and could go no further. So we did not seek supreme awakening.

[07:13]

World Honored One has been preaching the Dharma for a long time. And all the while we have been sitting in our places, weary in body and mindful only of emptiness, formlessness and non-action. Neither the enjoyments nor the divine powers of the Bodhisattva Dharma purifying Buddha lands and saving all living beings, appealed to us. Why was this so? World Honored One had made it possible for us to rise above the threefold world and gain evidence of nirvana.

[08:18]

Besides, we are so old and worn out that when we heard of the supreme awakening with which the Buddha teaches and transforms the bodhisattva, no thought of pursuing this bodhisattva path attracted us. Now, hearing from the world-honored one that the Sravakas are assured of attaining supreme awakening, we are very happy. We have gained something we never before experienced. Unexpectedly and suddenly, we have now heard this rare dharma,

[09:25]

we see ourselves as extremely fortunate. Without even seeking it, we have acquired something great and good and an extremely rare treasure. World-honored one, we would now like to use a parable to clarify what we mean. Suppose a still young man left his father ran away and lived in some other land for a long time.

[10:30]

For 10, 20, even 50 years. The older he became, the poorer and more needy he became. He wandered around in every direction looking for clothing and food until Finally, by chance, he was heading towards his homeland. Meanwhile, the father had searched for his son unsuccessfully and now lived in another city. His household had become very wealthy. His goods and treasures incalculable. Gold, silver, lapis lazuli, coral, amber, crystal, and other gems overflowed his storehouses.

[11:39]

He also had many grooms and servants, clerks and attendants. and countless elephants, horses, carriages, oxen and sheep. His revenues and investments spread to other lands. There also were many merchants and traveling traders around his estate. At this time the poor son, wandering through village after village and passing through various lands and cities, at last reached the city where his father was living. Although his son had been away for more than fifty years, the father always thought about him. But he had never spoken of the matter to anyone, only pondering to himself, his heart full of remorse and regret.

[12:51]

He thought, old and worn out, I have great wealth, gold, silver and rare treasures overflowing my storehouses, yet I have no son. someday my end will come and my wealth will be scattered and lost for there is no one to whom I can give it. This is why he always so earnestly thought of his son. If I could only get my son back and entrust my wealth to him, he thought, how contented, how happy I would be with no more anxiety. Meanwhile, World Honored One, the poor son, drifting from job to another, accidentally arrived at his father's house.

[14:05]

Standing by the front gate, he saw his father from a distance, seated on a lion throne. His feet were on a jeweled footstool and strings of pearls worth tens of millions adorned his body. He was being revered by surrounding Brahmins, nobles and ordinary people. while attendants and servants with white fly whisks stood by on both sides. Over him was a jeweled canopy from which streamers of flowers hung down. Perfume was sprinkled on the ground and all kinds of celebrated flowers were scattered about. and valuable things were set in rows for his approval or rejection.

[15:12]

With such trappings he looked majestic and distinguished. The poor son seeing his father with such great power was seized with fear and regretted that he had come to this place. He secretly thought to himself, He must be a king or something like a king. This is no place for me to try to earn a living. I'd better go to some poor town where I can be paid for my labor and where food and clothing will be easier to get. If I stay here long, I may be captured and forced to do work. Having thought of this, in this way he ran quickly away. Meanwhile, the elderly gentleman on the lion's seat recognized his son at first sight.

[16:20]

Filled with joy, he thought, at last I have the one whom my stores of wealth are to be entrusted. I've always been thinking of my son but had no way to see him. Now suddenly he has come by himself. My hope is completely fulfilled. Old and worn out, I yearn for an heir. Then he sent messengers to run after his son and bring him back as quickly as possible. They ran after him, grabbed him. The poor son, surprised and afraid, loudly cried out in anger, I've done nothing against you. Why am I being seized?

[17:24]

The messengers held on to him even more firmly and forced him to go back with them. Then the poor son thought that although he had done nothing wrong, he was being taken prisoner and surely would be put to death. I'm trying not to comment on this It's so hard. All the more terrified and desperate, he fell down in a faint. The father, seeing this from a distance, told the messengers, there's no need for this. I don't need this man. Don't force him to come.

[18:26]

Sprinkle some cold water on his face to wake him up and say nothing more to him. Why did he do this? The father knew that his son felt inept and humble and that his own great position would be too difficult for his son. He knew perfectly well that this was his son. But using skillful means, he didn't tell anyone that this was so. The messengers told the son, we are releasing you now. You are free to go wherever you want. So the poor son rejoiced having obtained what he had never had before, got up from the ground and went off to a poor village in search of food and clothing.

[19:31]

The great rich man wanting to entice his son back decided to use a skillful means again Secretly he sent two men of miserable and undignified appearance after him saying, go there and visit and gently tell this poor man that there is a place for him to work where he will be able to receive double wages If he agrees, bring him back here and put him to work. If he asks what kind of work you want him to do, tell him that you are hiring him to remove dung and that you will work along with him

[20:38]

You all know what the dung is, don't you? The father seeing the son felt both sympathy and wonder. On another day looking through a window he saw his son at a distance looking gaunt, lean and filthy from the piles of dung, dirt and filth. Taking off his necklaces, his soft clothing and ornaments, he put on coarse, torn, dirty clothes, smeared his body with dirt, took a pan for dung in his right hand, and in a rough manner approached the workers and said, Get to work.

[21:53]

Don't be lazy. Through such skillful means, he could finally get near his son. Afterwards he said to his son, young man, now you should stay and work here. Don't go anywhere else again. I will increase your wages and you won't have to worry about anything. meeting bowls, utensils, rice, flour, salt, vinegar, and so on. There's even an old worn-out servant you can use if you need him.

[22:56]

Take it easy. I'm like your father. You don't need to worry anymore. Why? Because I am old and advanced in years but you are young and vigorous. All the time you have been working here you have never been deceitful, lazy, angry or grumbling. I have never seen you display or discuss the faults of other workers. From now on ye shall be like my own son." Then the rich man gave him a new name as he would a child.

[23:59]

Then the poor son though pleased with all this, still thought of himself as an inferior laborer. Thus for 20 years he continued to be employed at removing dung. After that they gained confidence in each other and the son felt he could come and go easily with his father. Yet he continued to live in the same place as before.

[25:09]

The world-honored one No, world-honored one. Then the old man became ill. Knowing that he would die soon, he said to the poor son, now I have abundant gold, silver, and rare treasures filling my storehouses to overflowing. I want you to have a detailed understanding of the quantities involved and of what should be received and paid out. This is what I have in mind and want you to do. How so? Because from now on you and I will be no different. But be careful to see that there are no careless losses. The poor son accepted these instructions and took stock of all the goods, gold, silver, and other valuables, and of the various storehouses, but never expected to receive even a meal for himself.

[26:28]

He continued to live in the place where he had been before and was unable to get rid of his sense of inferiority. After some time had passed, the father saw that his son was gradually becoming more confident and accomplished, and that he despised his former state of inferiority. Realizing his son, realizing that his own end was near, he ordered that his son arrange a meeting with his relatives, the king, the ministers, the nobles, and the ordinary citizens. When they had all been assembled, he said to them, gentlemen, I should tell you that this is my son, my natural born son.

[27:30]

In another city, he left me and ran away for over 50 years, enduring loneliness and suffering His original name was such-and-such, and my name was so-and-so. At that time, when I was living in my hometown, I worried about him and looked all over for him. It was here that I suddenly happened to meet him again. This is really my son, and I'm really his father. Now all my wealth belongs entirely to my son and all my earlier disbursements and receipts are known by this son. World Honored One, when the poor son heard these words of his father, having received something he had never had before, he was filled with joy

[28:40]

And he thought, without intention or effort on my part, these treasures have now come to me of themselves. World Honored One, this very rich man is the Buddha Tathagata. And we are all like children of Buddha. The Tathagatas have always taught that we are their children. I was considering introducing this by saying there is a story but I didn't.

[29:42]

There is a story about such and such, but I didn't, so now I'll say it afterwards. There is a story in the Lotus Sutra about how sentient beings wander away from the true Dharma, wander away from the practice of contemplating their body and mind as karmic consciousness and clarifying karmic cause and effect. And of how painful and destitute we become when we do not take care of our karmic consciousness And how sometime we finally wander back to our true home and true family and start doing the work which we have drifted away from for so long.

[30:56]

We shovel the dung of karmic consciousness for 20 years, 30 years. And then we start shoveling the treasures of how things are forever. I was led to read this story to you about this recently by another story which is a comment which is alluded to in the verse for the story about Guishan's karmic consciousness. Commenting on this story, which you've heard, they allude to the story of our ancestor Dungsan and his Dharma uncle, Sungmi.

[32:06]

There's a number of wonderful stories of them walking along together on this planet and discussing the Dharma. One day they were walking along and a white rabbit ran by. I picture it running from one side of the road to the other. And Uncle Me says, swift, swift. And Deng Shan says, how so? And Uncle Me says, like a commoner, like a white-robed commoner. He was a white rabbit, did I say? He was a white rabbit. Like a white-robed commoner being made prime minister.

[33:11]

the Confucian prime ministers were black. Like that, go from being a commoner to a prime minister, like that. Dungsan said to his elder, Dharma sibling, Dharma relative, such a venerable old teacher and you still talk like that." He said that to him on some other occasions. Uncle Mi said, well, what do you say? And Deng Shan said, after generations of nobility temporarily fallen into poverty, It's referring to this story. For a long time you we

[34:34]

have been good children and we have been studying karmic consciousness. In studying karmic consciousness we are doing the work of our family. But we've drifted a little bit away from our work So it's not a matter that we're going to be promoted. That's an illusion. We're already in the family. It's just a question of doing our work. Our extremely intense, challenging work. It's not really gradual, and yet it goes on forever.

[35:52]

As soon as we start taking care of what's in front of us, which is karmic consciousness, all we've got to take care of, as soon as we take care of this body, which is taking care of karmic consciousness. As soon as we do it, that's enlightenment. We may become more skillful, but it's still the practice, this is the practice of the Buddhas. Even Buddhas may become more skillful. But what are they skillful with? They're skillful at clarifying dependent core arising. They're skillful at clarifying dependent core arising of karmic consciousness. They also are skillful at clarifying the dependent core arising of the cosmos.

[36:57]

But their main work is to clarify the consciousness of sentient beings, their dear family, because they were bodhisattvas with karmic consciousness too. Now they're not anymore. Now they're Buddhas. And now they're teaching the bodhisattvas to take care of their karmic consciousness. And they're very happy that they have their children at home to teach. And when the children are doing the work, the children are happy and the Buddhas are happy. There's no end to the evolution of our skill in studying dependent core arising.

[38:01]

and realizing that it's emptiness and not attaching to anything including dependent core arising and emptiness. But as soon as we do it, we are doing, we can have confidence with or without pride that we're on the Buddha way. After I mentioned yesterday that If you look at the Zen ocean, or if you look at the circle of Zen that you see, the variety of Zen practices going on, sometimes it's hard to see that Zen is emphasizing paying close attention to all of our actions. Sometimes it's hard to see that Zen is teaching to care for karmic consciousness.

[39:03]

And Dogen Zenji, I think, felt that people were sometimes missing this. That's why he got quite literal about it towards the end of his life. Saying, as I said before, Buddhas do not go beyond clarifying karmic consciousness. And then someone mentioned to me that in his Zen studies he felt that the way he was taught was at first he was showing Buddha And then he was shown like the fox. First he was shown Buddha, then he was shown what happens if you deny cause and effect. And I think that is true to some extent about Zen. and some other forms of Mahayana Buddhism that sometimes the student is shown Buddha as a great encouragement and then they're told to study karmic cause and effect.

[40:16]

But sometimes in the exuberance and joy of meeting the Buddha people forget about the next step and they just they just take off. They fly away without clearance from the air control center. And if you take off without their cooperation, it's hard to land. Not impossible, to get landing instructions if you didn't get take-off instructions, but you may have been in trouble. I must confess, there was a time when a thought occurred to me

[41:31]

I can do whatever I want. I can fly." And I was just about ready to do so. And my wife noticed. And then the plane I was flying with crashed. and the plane that I was about to follow crashed and I didn't really get to very high altitude and managed to somewhat land again. Another way, one way to put it is Zen shows you sometimes, some Zen teachers will show you the Buddha and then bring you back to ground. Another way is to say Zen goes down fast and comes up slow.

[42:40]

Goes down to the fundamental and then integrates it with common consciousness slowly. I'm not opposed to that. I'm just emphasizing whatever you've got, integrate it with studying karmic cause and effect. Some other forms of Buddhism go down slow through karmic consciousness, and when they get to the bottom of that, they come up fast. So there's some truth to say Zen starts with enlightenment and then integrates it with karmic consciousness. So let's integrate. I have been thinking about thinking, and somehow the instruction of thinking in Zazen seemed strange to me, but I realized that I have been thinking.

[45:21]

Could you hear that? She has realized that she has been thinking. Congratulations. But it seems to be a different kind of thinking. So when I'm very still, it doesn't always happen that way, but sometimes when I come to a really good place and I'm, not doing anything, and suddenly something comes up, and then thinking starts, but it seems to be a different kind of thinking that I'm not doing. It's kind of doing me. And this morning I came across an explanation in the Chambers Dictionary of Etymology about thinking, And it says there were two words, there are two old words for thinking, which is in old English,

[46:29]

Think on and think on, something like that. Anyway, in German, you still have those two words. We have denken and dünken. Denken and dünken. Dünken means, it's actually, it's used in a different way. It says mich dünkt or es dünkt mich, not I dünk. You know, not I think. So, and in English we still have an archaic form. It's added in there. That is me thinks. Me thinks. And it's a different word. It's a different word. It's actually... And they say in English, the second word has been lost. It's not there anymore. We don't do that anymore. And I found that very interesting. So it feels to me that that kind of thinking is happening when I'm in Zazen.

[47:32]

And it's more of an intuitive thinking, I think. So I'm not sure what the Sanskrit word would be for that. But the Indo-European form is tongue, and it seems to still be one form, the same form for both of those words. And then the split probably happened later. So I found that interesting. Thank you for your research on karma, your research on thinking, which is the definition of karma. Mm-hmm. You're welcome. And so, again, when people come in here and sit down, they do think, except maybe some rare occasions when people actually suppress their thinking. But most people are thinking. Most people are thinking, for example, they think that their body's sitting here. They think they're in this room.

[48:36]

They think they're breathing. You are breathing, but you don't just breathe, you think you're breathing. And then you can also think about following your breathing. And then you think you are or you aren't. So people are thinking in here. However, if we practice the ceremony of silence and stillness, and then we think in silence and stillness, then the thinking is what we call insight. So if you're thinking without being settled in you know, tranquility, if you're not doing the ceremony and entering the state of tranquility, then your thinking is not really insight even if it looks similar. So an insight could be intuitive thinking, sensation, or feeling. Lots of different dimensions for insight to work on. Thank you. There was something else. when you quoted Shakyamuni Buddha saying that we don't own the body, I was remembering a quote from Louise Erdrich from Love Medicine, and it's the elder, the Ojibwe elder, who says, once you greet death,

[50:03]

and you have clarified your heart's position, you will your life like a garment from the mission bundle sale ever after. The mission bundle sale is what the collection of used clothes that the nuns give to the Indians. So you wear your life like a garment from the mission bundle sale ever after, lightly, because you've never paid nothing for it. And cherishing because you know you will not get by such a bargain again. And you also have the feeling that someone wore it before you and someone will after. Thank you. That connects to this body is not yours and does not belong to someone else.

[51:06]

and take care of it, yes, know it and take care of it as, as formally Purposefully performed action. So somebody wore it before or is caused by somebody wearing a body before which gives rise to this body. And it will go on Well, that's a theory. Is that a theory? Just deal with the present. Yeah, I think you said someone may wear it after. Someone may, yeah. You may be reborn. It's possible. I had the thought that yesterday I saw the teacher eating from Buddha's skull with his chopsticks.

[52:44]

Could you explain the karmic causes and consequences, please? I'm sorry that I violated the traditional form and used my chopsticks in the wrong bowl. In the future I'll use the spoon in Buddha's skull. Do you truly feel repentant? I truly feel repentant. Truly. However, I'm not sure. But what about the cause?

[53:51]

The cause? I do not know the cause. But I'm contemplating the cause that I do not know. And I welcome what I don't know. It's really a mystery. I don't even know that. Be silent and still.

[54:52]

Be silent and still and welcome the guest. I have an offering. Do you need this? I don't know. It won't be easy You'll think it's strange When I try to explain how I feel That I still seek enlightenment With so much to heal You won't believe it All you will see is a student he once knew Working on weaponing all beings Trying to be silent and still

[56:07]

I had to let it happen and welcome change. Couldn't stay all my life in the pain. Peering into true nature, attracted to light. So I chose Dharma. Running around trying everything new. But something impressed me so true. It is sharing this practice with you. Don't cry for me, Buddha Dharma. But you never left me. All through my darkest times, my sad existence, you kept your promise. I kept my distance. And as for fortune, and as for pride, I never invited them in. Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired, they are delusions.

[57:11]

They are not the solutions they promised to be. The answer is plain to see. Dependent, co-arising for him. Oh, how I saw Buddha Dharma. The truth is it never left me. Fall through my worst days, my sad existence. You kept your promise, now not much distance. Had I said too much? There's really nothing more I can think of to say to you. But all you have to do is look at me to know impermanence is true. Now I see Buddha Dharma. The truth is it never left me. Patiently waiting, the triple pleasure. Ancestors, thank you. Ancestors, thank you. Amen.

[58:24]

So next Sunday I have to give a talk at Clouds and Water, and I've been asked to talk about diversity and difference. Yes, do you want me to repeat anything? Okay. So... You've been asked to give a talk on diversity and... Difference. And difference. You know, kind of broadly. That's the topic. Okay. So that's the lens I've been thinking through this week as I've listened to you talk, and I feel like I've got a lot of good material. And I was particularly interested in the conversation you had yesterday about gender and the question that came up. And so I have an idea about investigating difference, and I wanted your feedback about it. So I get the part about kind of individually looking at our positions and kind of how we play that out on the interpersonal level.

[60:22]

The idea that I have is that there's some usefulness in looking at patterns. So patterns like I noticed yesterday in that gender conversation, it wasn't a surprise to anybody in the room that there was this idea about men not talking. There's a pattern that's culturally familiar. Right. So my idea is there's some benefit in investigating those patterns and even, you could say, the karmic patterns on the level of institutions. But it seems like the focus of teachings is on this about the self in a particular body, less so on patterns and even less so on kind of karmic institutional arrangements. So what I'd like feedback about, you know, your thoughts about investigating these other levels and, you know, if you think there's some benefit in that and then, you know, how might we do that?

[61:38]

I think there is benefit in investigating our karmic consciousness of these patterns and of, did you say institutions? Yeah. And to watch how we use karmic consciousness and how that changes us and how groups of people use tools and how that changes them and encloses them. And then watch how once you use a tool or use a technique or use a language as a group, how that's useful to the group, but then how that changes the group and how that encloses the group to keep doing, using the same patterns over and over, and to look at how on the group level we could do something different So like within this tradition there are some useful things about this tradition which we use, which change us, but also confine us.

[62:48]

So how can we continue a tradition and also be fresh and new? And we're, you know, we're struggling with that. So we've made, some changes have happened here. We have men and women practicing together in ways that they have not done in Asia. in Indian Asia or East Asia. We had women teachers and men students, which was, you know, very uncommon. And so we have some changes. Also in East Asia and India there wasn't much cultural diversity. In India it's mostly Indians. Not too many white people practiced Buddhism back in the old days. and in China it was mostly East Asians, not very few Indians practicing there. There's a little bit of diversity in the Tang Dynasty in China.

[63:53]

In Japan also almost all, not just East Asian, but just Japanese. So the tradition we're coming from is not much cultural or racial diversity and actually not much gender diversity in the practice arenas. So now somehow we're making some changes and I think it's good to look for in ourselves how to change, how to be fresh and new, and then look at how to extend that to the Sangha and to the society and watch how much resistance there is to that and be be kind to how we feel when people resist our suggestion of something new, and be kind to them who are resisting it. And that's a little bit of a response, but I don't want to say too much.

[64:59]

Why not? Because I've said so much and I'd like to hear from you. I said quite a bit there. Did I speak to your question at all? I don't feel satisfied. I guess partly what I'm interested in is... You didn't look satisfied. You didn't look like you received something you never received before. Well, that's right. I guess I'm partly, what I'm interested in is like, so when there's obliviousness about something, because you could say the, it's like the differences, it's not just... When there's obliviousness, which is the usual situation. Yeah, so then... So then let's not be proud because we're oblivious to something.

[66:03]

So how to remember that we're oblivious? So, and it's hard for you even to tell me something outside of my circle of water because as soon as you tell it, I hear it in my circle of water. So that's the inner work, is if I'm oblivious, how do I work with my oblivion? And I would say, rather than try to get you to put more stuff into my oblivion, and then so I say, well, no, I'm not oblivious because she put that stuff into it and then she approved that I maybe... But maybe you wouldn't approve. Maybe you say, well, I put something in there, but it didn't look like it changed anything. I think I have to deeply look at my oblivion, even though I don't understand what it is. But you can keep telling me, I guess, if you want. You do still seem to be oblivious. Somehow, your getting over your oblivion has not been communicated to my oblivion.

[67:09]

I'm oblivious too, but somehow I want to see if there's some way we can change together, us two oblivious people. So I guess that would be part of what we can try something new to do is to try to express when you feel like I'm not fully recognizing my oblivion. Again, I guess I would suggest that if I fully embrace my oblivion, a door opens. So what do you want to tell me now? I feel more satisfied. And I invite you, if you feel like I'm out of touch with my oblivion, to ask me if I remember it. And I might say, I forgot. For a moment I forgot that I'm in a little circle of water

[68:14]

I wasn't like remembering to be mindful, I live in this enclosure. I got proud. Because I was working hard, but I thought, this is enough. Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Are you feeling warmer? Actually, yeah, just, I am feeling warmer. Thank you. She's from Minnesota, but she's still cold at Green Gulch. But today I decided, I think I'll come back anyway, but I've got a better plan for my layers. This morning I felt calm.

[70:06]

So I thought, okay, I think I'm calm now. What is it that is arising? Calmness arising. calmness is dependently co-arisen. So it's empty. Okay. But what is feeling then? And I didn't like the way it was going. felt nervous. And I had to talk myself into trusting emptiness.

[71:16]

Emptiness as a protection and not something to be feared. Giving it up. come back home. But I was surprised that it was hard. You were surprised that it was hard? Yes. Give up the idea that my calmness is any better than being confused and delusional. It was hard to give up that distinction? Yeah. That they're both empty. I'd like to think that one emptiness is better than the other.

[72:25]

And if you don't think that, how do you feel? Calm. Trusting. It's a bit like jumping off a cliff. I think the landing instructions are trust emptiness. The landing instructions are trust emptiness and the taking off instructions are trusting body and mind.

[73:44]

Trust Karmic consciousness is how you take off into emptiness. And emptiness, hopefully, is telling you, if you trust this and relax, you'll be able to land. But the emptiness to take off into is the one from which your feet are on the ground in karmic consciousness. So maybe I wasn't really calm? Whatever it was, embrace it so fully you don't dwell in it. Could you repeat that? Whatever it was, whatever it is, embrace it so fully that you don't dwell in it. I'd like to offer something to everyone, but especially to Linda.

[75:16]

The finest hour that I have seen is the one that comes between the edge of night And the break of day when the darkness rolled away. It's gone away yesterday. And I find myself on the mountain sky. Where the rivers change direction across the great divide. I heard the owl calling softly as the night was falling with a question.

[76:17]

And I replied that it's gone across the borderline. It's a long way, yesterday, and I find myself on a mountainside. Where the river, they change direction across the great divide. And that was Kate Wolfe. I didn't make that up. Nancy. Okay, so you said yesterday that certainty about things closes a door, is that right?

[77:29]

Or that being certain is... I proposed that to you, but I'm not certain of it. But then you also said to have confidence. Yeah. So my question is, I don't feel that I can act with confidence unless I have certainty. Okay. So could you explain... how to have confidence without certainty? I don't know. But I'll try. often confidence just comes already with certainty. They kind of grow up together sometimes. You know, we're going along trying to protect ourselves from the unknown, like it's not really there or whatever.

[78:34]

And then we find something we feel good about that we feel, you know, we can put our heart into and we feel good about that. But oftentimes, kind of discreetly, the pride's coming alongside and even getting stronger as we get better at something. Yeah, I really like that. And so if we can notice that there's some pride there along with the confidence, which there probably is, and if we can't see it, get more confident, and maybe then you'll see it. Or maybe people will start telling you, boy, you're really proud. Or even saying, aren't you proud? And maybe you say, oh yeah, there it is. So I would say, I have confidence, but I'm not sure, that being kind to this pride

[79:37]

and saying, sweetheart, you can go on vacation now. We appreciate your support all this time, but we'd actually like you to take a break so that we can open to reality. And then if it doesn't go, we say, I still love you, even though you're still here. And just keep loving the pride until you don't dwell on it. And then even if it's in the neighborhood, it loses its function. Another way to do it is to really work at appreciating sort of the opposite of what you're confident about. So if you think something's really good and you really want to put your heart into it, then see if you can respect the people who are not interested in it at all and or respect those who, even if they're interested, don't seem to be able to practice it.

[80:48]

And when you notice that it's kind of hard to do that, then there's your pride. And be really kind to that pride. And understand also, and be patient with it. Which is part, I mean, not and be patient, be kind in the form of patience with it. Remembering that these advanced, very advanced practitioners are still proud. And again, the more advanced you get, the more kind of conditions there are supporting the, you know, like, well, how could I not be proud? So wait, can I interrupt? Are you saying that certainty and pride are the same? Certainty and pride are the same? I don't know if I would say they're the same, but it seems like they're very closely related. And again, certainty and pride seem like they're pushing away fear. And then again, if you just scratch them a little bit, violence comes up often.

[81:56]

And I think this is a theory of karmic cause and effect, that if we're devoted to something and not certain about it, that we're more flexible and more open to fear. If we're devoted to something and not proud and certain about it, we're more open to fear and the fear might, for example, the fear that we might be wrong or fear that somebody might criticize us. And so we put some, in order to continue our work, we put some pride or some certainty around it so we can continue in the midst of all its surrounding and questioning and challenging what we're confident in. And so we can be wholehearted about something, get lots of negative feedback, and not crush those people who are, how dare they oppose my good works.

[83:12]

This is really like unacceptable. I'm trying to do good. I have confidence in it. I don't know if it's really good. And if people criticize me, maybe they're actually contributing to it. I don't know. And also notice how pride is protecting against the fear, against fear and anxiety. and also try to open to the anxiety. If you're really open to anxiety, I think, then you won't need the pride anymore. But sometimes the pride just can't even see the anxiety. So being kind to the pride might open the door to the anxiety. Because if you notice how proud you are, maybe other people will. And then you're going to, you know, then people may do something to you because you're so proud.

[84:16]

I still don't, when you talk about kindness, I still don't really understand what you're... Kindness? Yeah, I mean... Patience. Welcoming. Like, welcome arrogance. Welcome arrogant Reb. And welcome arrogant Amy. Welcome pride. Welcome conceit. You know, welcome closing the door on reality. Welcome. Be patient with it because it's a problem. Don't try to control it. Be calm with it. Be nonviolent with it. Be honest about it. You're good at that. So you're good at being honest about problems you have. So you can develop these other qualities along with the honesty. That's what I mean by kindness. That's what I mean by love. So you're good at the honesty part of love.

[85:19]

But all these other aspects, the calmness, the giving up control, patience and welcoming those bring those up even with your honesty that would be then your kindness would be more all-embracing. And then apply that to what you're confident about and use it to find what you're proud about and be kind to the confidence and be kind to the pride. Because pride is kind of like dwelling in confidence. So if you're kind to your confidence, you don't have to dwell in it anymore, so you don't need the pride. And you're not using your confidence to protect yourself from fear. Does that make more sense now? Yes. Thank you. So I have had trouble with these forms.

[86:53]

You've had some trouble with the forms? We all have. Yeah. And then I think, you know, I haven't been here very much, so I don't have a lot of experience with them, but I started out with feeling that they were somewhat rigid and very scary, really scary. The forms are rigid? And scary. Yeah. They're rigid and scary, okay. Yeah. And something sort of shifted. And I'm... I don't know how much of it's the environment and how much of it's an internal shift. But it started to seem like there was this wonderful message of, here's the basic form, do the best you can with it. And if you screw up, which you will, somebody, and which I did, and it's really a big screw up, somebody will help you. And it's all kind of okay. And that...

[87:55]

I think that that's a shift in this community as well as a shift in me, but I don't know. I just feel both of those things happening, and I'm grateful. Well, I think when you shift, the whole community shifts. And when the community shifts, you shift. That's how it feels, yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. it comes to my mind, in Being Upright, I quoted Franz Kafka. And the quote that's in there is actually not the translation I like. The translation that's being used in there is the one that we could get permission to use. But there's another one which we couldn't get permission to use because we couldn't find out who did it, which I like better.

[89:01]

And the one I like is like, you don't have to move from your your desk or your place. And then he said, just wait. You don't even have to wait. Just be still. And I don't know if he said, you don't even have to be still. Just... The world will reveal itself to you. The forms will reveal themselves to you if you're just completely there. They'll, you know, they'll take off their mask. The world will, but also these forms will just, they'll take off their mask and show themselves to you. They can't help it. They'll roll at your feet in ecstasy. That's the line that got changed. So if we meet the forms, if we find the way to really be with the forms, they will tell us the secret of who they really are.

[90:12]

And we'll have a new friend that we never dreamed of meeting. I'm really happy you brought up that parable and read it so beautifully. And I have some question about it and several things. One is, the child must have run away from home very young to be... 50 years on the road and another 20 mucking out the stalls, you know.

[91:12]

And another many years learning the business of the house. Right. So then. So the father must really be old. Really be old. So that's, it always seemed like just, it's just a detail, but it, It gets in the way a little bit. So that does, and also, where is his mother? And what was going on with her? And so that, and then... He didn't run away from his mother. She went with him. His mother was with him the whole time? Yeah. He ran away from his father. Oh, well. Now... I sometimes tell the story with the mom and dad combo. Yes, I've told it with him being reunited with the mother. Today I told it the hard way.

[92:14]

Yeah. I think in India, actually, I think in India, no problem with mom. It's the dad that's the problem in India. Yeah. The dads are like, people run away from their dad. But Indian culture has really, you know, even if the mother's no good, everybody thinks she is. Because she is. So kind of like India, mom's the one. And dad, like, let's get out of here. even though Dad might be really sweet, he's representing this Indian, the Indian archetypes like to, kind of like, what do you call it, for the father, it's like the Roman Republic archetype for the father. Very powerful, very, you know, lots of, what do you call it, prerogatives and powers.

[93:14]

And the mom's just like supporting you and So in some ways it's like he ran away from all this power and the power of... the male gets to represent the power of Dharma, which is a problem to put it on that side. So in the commentary where it says the child of riches falls on the dusty road, I guess, and feels such sorrow. So this child of riches, the Buddha's four disciples, they say, this has come to us kind of unbidden. We weren't looking for this. This came to us. Of course, they had been doing their work. They're mucking out the stalls. Yeah, they're working really hard and they attained arhatship. These are arhats. These are the senior disciples. And they thought, well, we're done.

[94:16]

There's nothing more to do. This is the part that I don't understand. So the child of riches doesn't know, like the son who went away, he didn't know he was a child of riches, and he felt such sorrow. And the Arhats didn't know they were a child of riches either. But did they feel sorrow in that way? Well, they weren't really that bad off, but they struggled, and they got old and worn out. Yes, they were old and worn out. But they got nirvana, but they were kind of pooped out, and they couldn't really get with the bodhisattva joy. And so the son, actually, he probably got a little pooped out too. And then he got to this place where he was pretty advanced. You know, he came up from this very lowly condition to now he's in the house taking care of things. And in the end he finds out Not only has he done all this work, which he's pretty tired about, and this man's going to die, but he's actually his son, that they're actually no different.

[95:22]

That's the kicker at the end, that they're no different is what the Arhats didn't understand, that they were no different from the Buddha and that they would become Buddhas. And somehow that opens them to how wonderful the Bodhisattva path is. And they thought nirvana was the end. But now they see it's not. And they're happy about it. So for us on the path, on the dusty path, falling down and sorrowful, this story is about us. Yes, this is about us. So I guess I'm wondering, the Buddha... how is it that the Buddha is skillfully watching over and giving us tasks so that we become less afraid and less anxious and closer and closer?

[96:30]

How is that? Well, Chapter 16 says that the Buddha is like standing right near to us. Yeah, yeah. You know? and we're yearning to be with this thing which is right near us. But he won't show himself unless we yearn to see. And the way we yearn to see is by being upright, flexible, honest, gentle with whatever comes and dealing with all the stuff. It says, practice all virtues and Dogen's interpretation of that would be really embrace all beings with this way of being. And if you do that, you will yearn for the Buddha and you will open to the Buddha And that Buddha is the pinnacle rising. I mean, that certainly is.

[97:33]

The Buddha said, the Lotus Buddha is not the historical Buddha, but the historical Buddha said, what I really am is my relationship with you. If you think I'm this thing over here separate from me, that's not correct. And if I think you're something separate from me, that's just a delusion. What I really am as the Buddha is our dynamic relationship. That's what I am. And if you enter that dynamic relationship, you'll see me. But if you don't enter that dynamic relationship, the Lotus Sutra says, I'm not going to show myself because you'll become arrogant if I show myself and lazy. But with me there, having sent you the message of your work, if you do your work, you'll realize I was always there. But I am actually working continually to support you to do this work. And that's why the Lotus Sutra comes along after the historical Buddha. The Lotus Sutra, according to this way of thinking, is the continual revelation of the Buddha in the world.

[98:39]

it's not like Shakyamuni Buddha is gone, the historical Shakyamuni is gone, but there's an eternal Shakyamuni who's still here working to encourage us to do the practice, but not showing herself, because if she did, we'd say, well, it's enough. And again, as I've often said, I think we've actually, some of us have the experience of when you're with a really nice teacher, you can be really lazy. because it's so nice to be there. And when Suzuki Roshi died, you know, it was partly I felt like, well, now we have to grow up. We were just like little kids and, you know, playing around in Daddy's lap. And we didn't really have to work. And so now we've been really, and we have worked really hard since then. For me, it was really easy when he was around. It was like pure land. Shall I go away again? Should you go away again?

[99:43]

Yeah, you should go away again. Let's see how this one goes. I thought I heard you call me a bulldozer the other day. Is that right?

[100:45]

Is that right? No, it's not. Well, that's too bad because I thought that was really fair. Pardon? I said it's too bad. When I thought that that's what I'd heard, I really enjoyed that. I thought that's really fair. Well, it's really fair. Yeah. I'm sorry I missed a chance to do something fair. You swear that what? I'm sorry I missed a chance to do something fair. Didn't even occur to me to call you a bulldozer, but now, now thanks. Maybe I'll give you a new name. Well, in fact, the farm manager and a friend tell me about both tractors and the cars that I drive that there's too much grinding when I shift the gears. And yet, they ask me to plow the fields.

[101:46]

But what I really would like to share is that I feel like I am receiving things that I haven't received before. And... what I would really like to express to the Sangha is, you know, the other day I said that I feel deeply supported to have lots of problems with pride. And I want to add to that that I also feel deeply supported to study my pride and love my pride and not dwell. And I also feel deeply supported to practice not misusing sexuality in a way that is not self-defensive, that's not motivated by self-defense. And I feel deeply supported to practice loving my vulnerability

[102:52]

You know, perhaps even learning to love my vulnerability as much as I love bulldozing. So these things are gifts to me from Dependent Co-Rising. So I just wanted to expand the story a little bit. and express my deep appreciation for your support and the support of all beings. Gifts from the Pentagon Rising is the same as gifts from Buddha. The Dharma, the Pentagon Rising, the Buddha and the Sangha give us these gifts. Anyway, I grew up with brothers, so there are a lot of bulldozers in my circle of water.

[104:05]

And you have circles of water about the bulldozers. I do, I do. Bulldozers are actually oceans of bulldozers. Yeah. You're oblivious to the fullness of bulldozers. Thank you. And so am I. Bulldozers forever. It's really wonderful. In vulnerability forever. The most powerful bulldozer is the one who knows and is open completely to the vulnerability. Because bulldozers can also have their gears ground and twisted and shredded. Actually, the newest tractor we have goes from forward to reverse without even needing a clutch. It's completely smooth. may we be the same. And I just want to briefly mention that in practicing not misusing sexuality we are guided to the meaning of that by, for example, to practice not misusing it without being angry or proud

[105:28]

So we may feel pretty good about practicing it, but we may be sort of angry at those who challenge us or proud that we're successful at practicing it. So the other precepts help us understand how to practice that precept. When you walk in the Zendo, please walk in Shashu. If dependent co-arising is regarding the Buddha,

[106:42]

Then, how did you say it? If you say, if it is, but I thought by the language construction there that you were saying dependent core arising is regarding the Buddha. Yeah, no, I didn't mean that. Okay, what did you mean? It was more picking up on my relationship with you, that my relationship with you, what did you say, is... my brain's not working, my relationship with you is dependent co-arising? In other words, isn't it? Yes. Mm-hmm. your relationship with me is dependent core arising and is a dependent core arising. And the way our relationship is dependent core arising is Buddha.

[107:52]

So isn't every moment of perception of comprehension already that, already Buddha? The dependent core arising is the Dharma of every perception and that's already Buddha. The dependent co-arising is the Dharma of every perception and that's already Buddha. So isn't the release of perception already Buddha? It seems like if a thought arises and you don't... The dependent co-arising of the release of thought is Buddha. Because if you just say the release, you might think it's a substantial release. You might think that it's substantially different, for example, from non-release. It is different, but not substantially. Just interdependently different. So the dependent co-arising of anything is the Dharma of the thing.

[108:58]

And the Dharma of the thing is the Buddha of the thing. Because Dharma is just an unfoldment of the Buddha. It's the Buddha. It's the teaching of the Buddha. It's the elucidation of the relationship. And the holding of a perception, the dependent co-arising and holding of a perception is as much the Dharma as the dependent core arising of the releasing of a perception. The holding and the releasing are the same? Is that what you mean? No. The dependent core arising of the holding of a perception and the dependent core arising of the releasing of it, they're both equally beautiful and equally the Dharma. The dependent core arising of the arising of the mass of suffering, the clockwise presentation

[110:03]

of the pinnacle arising leading to the mass of ill. The pinnacle arising of that is the Dharma, and the pinnacle arising of the reverse of the process is also the Dharma. So release and bondage, the pinnacle arising of them is the same Dharma. But they're not the same, really. they can't be separated. They're not substantially different because they don't exist substantially and they don't differ substantially. So dependent core rising not only shows us the truth of the thing, but it also implies that the thing is insubstantial. So the insubstantiality and causation are the wonderful aspects of the Buddha's teachings. so that there can be Dharma even when we're holding.

[111:08]

But when we see the Dharma, even while holding, there's release. If we see the Dharma while we're holding, rather than say, don't hold, it's bad. And if there's release but we don't see the Dharma, we're still missing out on the fullness of our life. Because we're not seeing how it's happening. We're not seeing the Dharma, yeah. We're not seeing. you. seems like there's an impetus, like in what we've been reciting from the Lotus Sutra, to want to reduce suffering and see the Buddha. So in this process, like you talked about winding a clock, seems like we want it to go a certain way. Yeah. Well, we might want to reduce suffering, but more than reduce suffering, we want to kind of like realize Buddha,

[112:10]

And Buddha can be realized, you know, great compassion can be realized while they're still suffering. So we want to grow Buddha. We don't want to wait to have Buddha until the suffering's gone. But Buddha is working to release beings, but the Buddha's alive even while they're suffering beings. And we want to appreciate that now. We're not going to make all people Buddhas right away, but we want them to enter the Buddha way today. We can enter today. I can enter today? You can enter today. Oh, whoop-de-doo. Well, thank you for the invitation. And I just want to say it's been a long process and a long journey to find a middle way with Sotos and Forms. And there's been some examination of this. And

[113:12]

I was going to say pride, but there's been some apprehension of progress and also realization that there's more to be done. A couple days ago, you and Anbo reminisced about the early days at Tassajara.

[114:36]

And I just wanted to share a little memory of my early days there. My sister and I had a tradition of picking some way to celebrate our birthdays together. And I picked going to Tassajara for a beginner's mind workshop led by Michael Wenger. I learned a lot and I enjoyed myself, especially, most especially in the dining hall. The food was great. And as you can imagine, you can talk in the dining hall there. It's a little different than here during a ryoki. But the food was most excellent. But especially what caught my attention was the person waiting on the table. It was very hot, extremely hot, almost as hot as Sacramento, if you can imagine that. And he was bald, and there was perspiration dripping from his forehead.

[115:41]

But that didn't deter him from completely being present with serving all of us, and somehow knowing what we needed, and meeting us with complete joy and concentrated effort. And I couldn't wait to go back to the dining hall just to watch this guy. I remember I remarked to my sister, man, did you see that guy? And I said, if that's what Zen practice does, sign me up. I was so blown away. I thirsted for what he embodied. And, you know, we never know how we affect others, but sometimes we're fortunate enough to find the person that affected us and thank them. And it took me some time to find this person, find out his name, but I do want to thank him for turning me onto this path.

[116:47]

Thank you. I'm both. Oh, it's a pleasure. I consider him a great bodhisattva. And of course, then I met my most excellent teacher, but that's another story. You don't need it?

[117:52]

Okay. This one is from my granddaughter. She's two years old. She built a plane. She went for a ride on the train, one of those rides. And she's going on the ride on a train. Can you hear her in the back? Maybe use it so they can hear you. The song is named Train on the Track. It's by Kaya, three years old. Train on the track goes very fast. Might be scared, but don't be scared. It's very dark. Oakley comes out.

[118:54]

It might be scared, but don't be scared. The train stops. It's time to come out. I guess it's time to stop. May our intention

[119:30]

@Transcribed_v005
@Text_v005
@Score_90.18