in the teaching that sentient beings and Buddhas are not two, that karmic consciousness with all its delusions and enlightenment are not two, we are not trying to get rid of karmic consciousness. We are trying to learn to be karmically conscious in an authentic way. the description of the Zazen practice of the Buddhas in terms of thinking of or thinking through not thinking by way of non-thinking is a traditional way of talking about

[01:37]

how to think authentically, how to be karmically conscious in an authentic way. Thinking is the definition of karmic consciousness. Yesterday, I think I said that thinking wasn't all that's going on in karmic consciousness. But in a way, I feel that was maybe not a good way to put it. Thinking is actually describing the totality of the elements that are interacting in karmic consciousness.

[02:43]

So there are things going on in karmic consciousness which are not, strictly speaking, thinking. But their interaction with everything else that's going on is thinking. So, for example, there can be very powerful feeling in karmic consciousness, very clear and transformative intuitions, very powerful sensations. Sensation itself is not karmic consciousness, but it occurs in karmic consciousness. Intuition is not karmic consciousness. but it occurs in karmic consciousness. It's part of it. And sensation, too, is an element or can be an element in karmic consciousness.

[03:46]

The overall pattern, the definition that makes it karmic, is thinking. Thinking. So there's a special emphasis on the overall pattern, on the thinking. If the monk had said to Yakusan Iga and Daisho, what kind of feeling is going on in the stillness? when you're still with your feeling, when you're intimate with your feeling, what kind of feeling is that? And he might have said, feeling through not feeling. And the monk might have said, how do you feel through not feeling?

[04:50]

And he might have said, non-feeling. If the monk had said, what kind of intuition Is there? Is there intuition in this stillness? And the teacher might have said, intuition through not intuition. How do you think? How do you intuit? Not intuition. And the teacher might have said, non-intuition. And the same with sensation. All these different ways of knowing can occur in karmic consciousness. But the monk asked about thinking. The overall pattern of all these dharmas, of all these phenomena, and the way they're all being authentic. The way they're all being authentic.

[05:52]

The way they're all realizing non-duality with enlightenment. the way a sentient being who is authentically a sentient being is not anything other than enlightenment. And even a sentient being who does not realize that they are being a sentient being is still a sentient being. And being who they are is enlightenment. And being who they are, whether they realize who they are or not, is not separate from Buddha. We are never separate from Buddha. But if we don't exercise what we are, if we don't study and love ourself, if we don't study and love our karmic consciousness, we do not realize the intimacy which is there. We must fully embrace karmic consciousness.

[07:07]

We must fully embrace thinking. And when we fully embrace thinking, we are still with it. And in that stillness, the thinking is through not thinking. The thinking realizes the emptiness of thinking. How do you realize The emptiness of thinking. How do you think through not thinking? How do you realize thinking, thinking which is not thinking? How do you realize thinking which is emptiness?

[08:13]

By non-thinking. What is non-thinking? Non-thinking. It's what orients the thinking and the non-thinking into a dance. And in that dance, there's a tension, which is one of the nice things about the example of tango, because in that dance, there's a tension between the partners. They push on each other. And that tension guides their relationship. The tension is not an impediment, but it can seem that way. It's actually the surface of interaction, the mode of communication.

[09:23]

caring for our thinking, caring for our karmic consciousness in such a way that the dance partner appears, which is karmic consciousness, which is not karmic consciousness. And those two dancing together, those two being supported to dance together is non-thinking. And non-thinking encourages thinking to be wholehearted and intimately cared for. And non-thinking also opens to thinking going beyond thinking and being not thinking.

[10:38]

But it also keeps not thinking in relationship with ordinary thinking. So we don't get rid of the ordinary karmic consciousness. We take care of it in relationship to karmic consciousness, which has realized its own emptiness. which is always there. The emptiness of our consciousness is always there. But if we don't fully exert our karmic consciousness, we're not there for our dance partner, which is karmic consciousness, which is not karmic consciousness. If we don't fully exert our thinking, if we don't fully express and study and question our thinking, in stillness. We don't realize who it's dancing with. And we also don't realize who is trying to promote the dance.

[11:44]

Non-thinking is always there trying to get us to dance by first of all inhabiting our own karmic consciousness, putting our feet on the ground, feeling our weight on the earth, and then realizing there's somebody to dance with who is us not being us. This thinking being not thinking. That's the partner of thinking in authentic thinking. Authentic thinking cannot be authentic all by itself. It isn't just that we fully exert it and intimately express it. It actually needs a partner. And it has one. Its emptiness is its partner. But again, its emptiness has a partner.

[12:49]

coordinating thinking and emptiness of thinking, emptiness and the thinking of emptiness, coordinating these two is the dance, and the dance instructor, and the dance aficionado, and the dance Non-thinking is being open and welcoming to thinking. And it's also being open and welcome to the, if we haven't met the partner before, the potentially frightening partner, the thinking which is not thinking. Non-thinking is open to thinking and thinking which is not thinking. It's open to karmic consciousness, really open.

[13:57]

If we're not open to our karmic consciousness, we're not letting non-thinking have its full function in our life. If we're not opening to and willing to be intimate with our karmic consciousness, if we're not there on the job with it, this essential ingredient of the practice, non-thinking, is being held away a little bit. Similarly, we have to be open to not thinking. The thinking which realizes the emptiness of thinking. The openness to that is non-thinking. All this together is what it means to be authentically deluded. Authentically a sentient being. So authentically, so completely that the non-duality of such a being and enlightenment is realized.

[15:05]

The emptiness of the sentient being is realized and the non-duality of this empty sentient being and enlightenment is realized. Non-thinking is also open to how this karmic consciousness is supporting and filling the entire universe. It's open to how this karmic consciousness is making worlds together with other karmic consciousness and how there's no limit to what this karmic consciousness, this deluded consciousness, fills the whole universe. The universe is not holding back and limiting the karmic consciousness' contribution. Opening

[16:12]

non-thinking opening to the workings of karmic consciousness, we open to the workings of karmic consciousness. We open to its full workings. It fills the whole universe. It supports the whole universe. And we also open to the whole universe filling it the whole universe fills every karmic consciousness, supports every karmic consciousness. No karmic consciousness is getting away from universal support. It can't get away. Opening to it includes, the most difficult thing is opening to karmic consciousness in its gritty, gutty, pleasant and painful, twisted, radiant vitality, moment by moment in stillness.

[17:25]

Master, in sitting still, in this stillness, what kind of sentient being is there? A sentient being who is not a sentient being. How do you be a sentient being who is not a sentient being, non-sentient being? But we have to be still. In other words, we have to be willing to be a sentient being first. And when we're willing to be a sentient being completely, then the sentient being who's there is not a sentient being. And how can you be that way? By non-sentient being.

[18:57]

A non-sentient being is encouraging the sentient being to be still, to be herself, to be himself completely in his limited karmic mind, encouraging him to do his part, which is to be himself. And when his partner shows up, to welcome the partner into the dance. This is what's going on in the stillness of the Buddha ancestors. So I I've been trying to coordinate basic Buddhist teachings of karma, what it is, how it operates, some of its problems, how difficult it is to pay attention to it.

[20:09]

But the great virtues that come from taking care of karmic consciousness, and now trying to show how that care is what helps us, is part of the work we have to do, in order to realize the non-duality of karmic consciousness and enlightenment. And I've now tried to coordinate this teaching with the traditional teaching from Yakusan Igen Daisho through Dogen Zenji to coordinate these two practices as being the same practice, the same enlightenment. so that we can understand that when they talk this way in China, they're coordinated with the ancient tradition of Shakyamuni Buddha and the unfoldment of Shakyamuni Buddha's teaching into the teaching of non-duality.

[21:17]

This is 100 percent, not 101, not 99, 100% sentient being affirming. Affirming living beings completely and exercising that affirmation fully is stillness. Receiving support to do so, giving support to others to do so, we can potentially attain the stillness of being ourself. my karmic consciousness says, there are eight million stories in the naked city.

[22:25]

This is one of them. in your efforts to be yourself, to pay attention to yourself, to study yourself, to learn yourself, to love yourself, to question yourself, to be intimate with yourself. This difficult work you are When you get into it fully, you are receiving the stillness transmitted in the Buddha way.

[23:32]

And you can transmit it to others when you meet them. And your dancing partner will come. And in that stillness, where you embrace each other, the dance can commence. And it starts all over again in a moment. If you're studying yourself, if you've arrived at yourself and are still, and you'd like to bring your stillness, express it, offer it, if you'd like to offer your study of yourself, you're welcome to come and do so. in whatever way is authentic to you.

[24:35]

Reverend Kenzo. Good morning. Good morning. Yesterday I heard you say that there was a, you said something about a cosmic firestorm and a firefly. Yes. And it sounded to me as if that was out there and the firefly had to meet with something that was out there. But I think today I understood that That's the not-thinking, actually, the emptiness, maybe. And the firefly would be the thinking? No. No. The firefly is the bodhicitta that arises when it first comes up, when there's the karmic consciousness that thinks... I wish to carry all beings to peace before myself. When there's a thought, karmic consciousness like that, in whatever language it can be in, whatever karmic language, when there's a consciousness like that, a karmic consciousness, a deluded consciousness like that, sometimes it opens in its way of expression and

[26:52]

it comes into communion with the full development of that vow, the full realization of that vow, the full bodhicitta, the fully developed bodhicitta. And in the communication between that karmic consciousness and that great fully developed bodhicitta, a bodhicitta arises. A little baby bodhicitta, the first little sprout, the seed, arises. And that little bodhicitta that comes up out of a karmic consciousness is like a firefly. And the other things like the fire of a galaxy. It's so huge. It's so developed. It's so unbounded and generous. However, If this seed is cared for, it will become that. And even before it becomes it, right now at the beginning of it rising, it's actually completely the same as the other thing.

[28:02]

So that would be similar to... When it first comes up, it may not come up with realization of emptiness. It can come up in beings in karmic consciousness that do not yet understand the emptiness of karmic consciousness. However, if the karmic consciousness in which it comes up keeps taking care of it and keeps loving it, loving the karmic consciousness and loving the bodhicitta, if it keeps doing that, it grows bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger. And finally, when the realization of the emptiness of the karmic consciousness and the emptiness of the bodhicitta happens, then the bodhicitta is really, really starting to develop. And another image which Dogen Zenji uses, I think he uses this, when the karmic consciousness gives rise to the bodhicitta, or when the bodhicitta arises depending on the karmic consciousness, it's like a candle.

[29:12]

And a breeze can blow it out. But when it gets fully grown, it's like a forest fire. And if you blow on it, it just gets stronger. So at a certain point the karmic consciousness, I mean the bodhicitta, is easily lost by not much. an insult, an insult, another insult, and it's gone. But it can be found again. But when it gets strong, it just grows on insult. It grows on difficulty. So the realization emptiness is part of the bodhicitta growing from a firefly to a galactic storm. Thank you. You're welcome. Please take care. I've been...

[30:29]

And some very extraordinary dance since coming here. You've been in a dance? Yes, I have. Wow. It started as a mummy. We're happy to hear. It started as a... I started out feeling like a bound-up mummy. When you first arrived, you were a bound-up mummy? Yes. And I couldn't move. And the harder and harder I tried to move, by trying to be still, I just got wound up tighter and tighter. And then I had, a few days later, this kind of a heart opening, one of those, just those moments in which I felt like Abbott and Costello meet the mummy, and my mummy started dancing, and the strings started flying, and it really felt wonderful, and it passed.

[31:43]

It was a moment, but it at least gave me this sense that a dance of a type could happen. Can you hear her in the back? A little louder, please, Judith. Okay. And then I started looking at myself and trying to do this study, watching what's coming up. But it just spiraled me into one thing. other thought after another and I couldn't get to this stillness and I got back into trying again. And yesterday I just went back to my breath because I was exhausted by trying so hard and I experienced a kind of profound stillness that I have never experienced before.

[32:46]

And it felt... Well, the only word that comes to mind is serenity. It felt like non-thinking because part of me was just welcoming, watching what would come. And it went on and on. But nothing came but the serenity. And I'm feeling like that's almost seductive, that in that state of of being, when the welcome mats out, I felt as though it were out, all of that craziness that I want to study and it wouldn't show up. And so I can't at this point

[33:49]

fathom how to bring the two together in the dance. I'm just waltzing away with the stillness right now in a way that, you know, that Zen Puritan ethic in me says, wait a minute, no, this is too nice and the hard works. Maybe that's enough craziness right there. One Puritan commenter is maybe sufficient karmic consciousness for the time being. One person who says things should be different. So that's a nice karmic consciousness to be still with and let that karmic consciousness which is suspicious of this dance enter the dance. And if that karmic conscience is a karmic conscience which says, I don't want to dance, non-thinking says, okay, fine.

[35:04]

Are you willing to really be completely this person who doesn't want to dance? Are you completely the person who thinks this is not appropriate, this is too much serenity? And if the person says, yes, I am, I'm willing to be, unaccepting of this nice situation, I think there's something rotten about it. And then you might say, here's your partner who is you, who is not you. And that will help you not attach to your suspicions of yourself or your enjoyment. So it might even be that the suspicion of your enjoyment was helping you realize the enjoyment, the serenity, which is not serenity.

[36:06]

Because when there's serenity, part of what there is about serenity is there's thinking that there's serenity. There's the karmic consciousness which has serenity, or insight, or intuition, or whatever. But karmic consciousness can have serenity, deep serenity, deep stillness. And in that stillness there is a serenity which is not serenity. I fool myself again. Fool yourself wholeheartedly. Fool yourself authentically. And you can still keep being fooled, or you can even be a fool. And if you're open to being a fool, you will be introduced to a dance partner who is a fool who is not a fool.

[37:11]

or who is a fool, whenever we're a fool, we're always a fool through being not fool. And being not fool, of course, depends on fool. And to keep this dance going forever, This is what non-thinking is trying to do. This is what the Buddha is trying to do, is to keep sentient beings dancing with enlightenment, which is always there. We just got to keep reinitiating and reinvigorating the dance. But again, when you start dancing, you have to start with your own body and mind, which sometimes is serene. And serene and tricking itself. In other words, serene means feeling serene, thinking serene.

[38:16]

And I'm not running away. I'm intimate with thinking I'm serene. But you can also be unmoving and still with I'm not serene. with the thinking, I'm serene, and the thinking, I'm not serene. In both cases we can be still with that. We can be supported to wholeheartedly be that. And then we realize that we're not that. And then we dance with that. It's not like, okay, me no more fool. It's more like, we want to be authentic fool. I vow to realize authentic foolishness authentic delusion, authentic karmic consciousness. And I need the help of the stillness of the lineage.

[39:22]

Please come and help me, stillness. Please come and help me be who I am, who might be a fool, who might be cruel, who might be aggressive, who might be confused, who might be afraid. Please help me be still with what I am, And when I arrive there, please introduce me to my partner, who is me, which has gone beyond me, by being me. Who is the true me, which is not me, by being willing to be the false me. So I think you were bound up and I think you got released because you were, sounds to me like you were really like not fighting being bound up. You finally realize, I'm all bound up. That's sort of where I'm at.

[40:24]

So what else is new? Oops. Not being bound up. People are walking around feeling bound up but too busy to notice it. You weren't too busy to notice it. And you noticed it and stopped running away from it, and you realized that you weren't. And then you weren't stuck to that either, which is good. And you tried to get back to it a little bit, though. Yes. So that's not the way you got released. You got released by not getting away from being tied up. You kind of gave up. Trying not to try and then finally stopping trying not to try, not to try. Right. Yeah, right. In other words, to be a sentient being. The hardest thing, right? Excellent.

[41:25]

But it can happen, apparently. Can I stay standing? Okay. Would you use this? Yes. I felt... This is not working. It's working. It's working.

[42:28]

It's working. It's working. I felt inspired by your invitation at the beginning where you said, please come forward and express the study of yourself. And a bit later I thought like, oh, I'm still always so nervous and afraid to talk in front of people. And, but maybe one day I will lose it. And then I would not be able anymore to love that being or to exercise it. So I thought like, I just come in front now, um, Just to be nice to that and fully express that and yeah, try to show that. That's it.

[43:33]

Thank you very much. Thank you. Well, I was inspired, too, by your invitation to bring the frightened, lonely one up here.

[44:42]

There's something, a critical one. They're kind of mixed up together. I'm really feeling critical about this one bowl of gamacho, which I'm used to having. you know, this nice little dance with the gamacho. What happened? You're critical of your dance being taken away? All right, you know. Yeah, it's sad, isn't it? Well, yeah, and then I'm on the dish crew, and, you know, there are all these tons of gamacho bowls, and, you know, like, what in the heck do we need all those bowls for? And it just seems like, you know, Why can't we be friendly, you know, back and forth with the gamacho instead of solo?

[45:44]

It's my own gamacho, you know, it's more efficient, right? We can get it done faster. I don't know what the thinking around it all was, but there you have it. The thinking was about germs. Oh. Huh. It was about germs. Got it. So once this S1N1 or whatever it's called is gone, then we can go back to the dance? Right. Oh, boy. When it's gone, I'm just going to have one Glossier Bowl. One big one. All right, I'm all for it. A big dance. But this was a nice opportunity for you. Oh, it was terrific. You know, it's the only problem you had, right? The only thing in the universe you couldn't say welcome to. Change my little Zen world a little bit.

[46:49]

No. Insult me, but don't change my Zen forms. Well, no, I actually was thinking of one thing that might be changed about the kamasho, actually. Okay. which is, you know, just have sesame seeds and no salt. Yeah, we could make that change, and then somebody else would be challenged to accept that. It's about health, too. Yeah, right. Remember what Elvis said? I don't, because I didn't listen to him very much. Oh, you didn't? No. Well, I didn't either. What did he say? But I remember a few things he said. One of them was, You can do anything you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes. I do everything. Don't do that. That's too much. What does it mean to have?

[48:22]

Can you hear her? Yeah, I couldn't get a green light. Could you wait just a minute, please? I went through a very dark period of my life a few years ago and the way I managed through it was to have my daughter paint a painting that said faith on it and I put it up so I could see it every day

[49:54]

because I had learned this teaching about having faith in what was happening. And I was also taught a teaching that we are being supported by the universe. That it's all okay. And I was actually free-falling and it was amazing that those teachings and an image of Avalokiteshvara that was on my fireplace mantle with a candle and an incense every morning really helped me through a period where I was literally free-falling. Then I had this other Zen friend who I had this debate about this thing, my faith, in what was happening.

[51:12]

And the ability to maybe put your intentions out and to manifest certain results in your life by that intention. But this friend of mine who's very scholarly and studied, and he's into the mind-only Yogacara school, kind of said to me, well, this is all in your mind. It was very disheartening. Is it all in my mind? That's your friend's understanding. What's your understanding? My understanding is love your mind.

[52:14]

And that will help you realize the stillness in which you live. And with that stillness with yourself and loving yourself, you will not attach to yourself. And when you attach to yourself, you will see how things are. And then you will be very happy because you'll be able to teach the Dharma to all beings. And you'll want to. That's what I believe. And one of the things that you might wind up loving is your mind when it's thinking about Yogacara.

[53:21]

So you can study Yogacara teachings love them, be still with them, not cling to them, and understand what they really are, and teach them to help all beings. And the same with all the other schools in Buddhist philosophy. But for now, whether you're studying Buddhist philosophy or the feeling in your nose, welcome it wholeheartedly and don't cling to it. That's what I believe. Yesterday you said something that I would like a little bit of clarification on.

[54:24]

You said there is a response if you pay attention. Mm-hmm. moment of karmic consciousness. Is that what you said? There's a response if you make your karmic consciousness an offering. And there's also a response if you wish your karmic consciousness to be, you know, not offered. But if you make it an offering, What's an offering? Like, for example, your common consciousness might be, I'm sitting in a zendo. You might be thinking you're sitting in a zendo. Can you imagine that? And you think, I'm sitting in a zendo and I offer my sitting to the welfare of all beings. And if you're really there with that offering, you will realize that the Buddhas are responding to you and are with you right at that moment.

[55:27]

They're saying, thank you, Jackie, for doing our work in this world. And the response happens at the same time you offer your life you know, your version of your life. Like, I think I'm doing this, and I offer this and my thoughts of this to the welfare of all beings. I offer it to the Buddhas who are doing the work of helping beings. As soon as you do that, they say thank you. They're right there with you. And bodhicitta arises. Or, if bodhicitta has already arisen, it grows. If you say, I don't want to offer my life, my life's not an offering, my life's something to hold on to, there's a response to that too, which is other unselfishness says, yeah, let's not offer our lives, and unselfishness grows.

[56:31]

But if you think of giving, the Buddhas are there with you. That's the response. And if you're still when you make the offering, you understand that there's a response. If you make the offering and flinch a little bit and look to see if anybody noticed, or if the Buddhists are clapping, you missed that they were clapping at the moment you're offering. And when you practice here and offer your practice to the welfare of all beings, the Buddhas are supporting you and you're supporting the Buddhas. You're doing Buddha's work, which supports the Buddhas, and the Buddhas are supporting you. And in that communion, the Bodhi mind that you're taking care of grows and grows. That's what I believe.

[57:33]

I pray that this works, this device. Does it work? It does. Red. Yes, Laurie. All your teaching of all last year, and even your teaching since this year, and since I've been here, There's a line that we chant that seems odd to me now. And the line goes, Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. It seems like it should say, delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to love them. Dance with them? Be compassionate with them. Yeah, it really should say that. Good. But there's some merit in saying, end them.

[59:22]

But maybe it should be more like, it could also say, I vow to realize that they're not delusions. They're empty of delusion. I vow to realize their emptiness and thereby liberate beings from them. The Chinese character actually is a character which doesn't mean end exactly. It means to cut through. it's kind of an image of a hatchet cutting through the forest or something. So it's kind of like more like pass through, you know, into the reality of them. But there's a tricky element in Buddhism that there seems to be sometimes an element of get rid of delusion, that enlightenment is non-delusion.

[60:26]

rather than enlightenment, is delusion's close bosom friend. That they're in an intimate relationship with each other, and we should enter that relationship. And we have lots of delusions, so we have to take care of it in order to enter that relationship. But I have a problem, too. I vowed to end them. I have a problem with that, too, I think. It would be nice to understand end means dance with. End means I vow to be intimate with them and thereby not cling to them. If a delusion comes to town and you're nice to it, it's not a problem. But if you hold on to it, then we have problems. But if enlightenment comes to town and you don't hold on to it, it's fine too. But if you hold on to enlightenment, then you've got problems. So we could also say, ah, delusions are inexhaustible.

[61:32]

I vow not to cling to them. I vow to move through their emptiness, to swim through their emptiness, dance with their emptiness, So I appreciate your saying that. I struggle with that too. And maybe it will change. Someday it will change the public expression. But we have a problem that the character does mean cut through. But it has also the cutting through has something to the end of it, the pass through. But, you know, maybe we'll change it and everybody will be ready for that at some point. Buddhism does change. Okay, thank you. I'd like to play catch with all Buddhas and all beings.

[63:49]

Could you hear him? Louder please. I'd like to play catch with all Buddhas and all beings. January intensive 2010. Not knowing, rain drops. Waves crash. Water falls. Buddhas are born. May our intention equally extend to her.

[65:31]

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