Buddha's desire to help beings. Buddha's desire that beings will have Buddha's wisdom. The desire that we should look for in our hearts, though, that you're asking us to look for in our hearts, that are lifelong, what our wishes, our desire are. Yeah, so I'm using desire as a synonym for wish. And it's hard for you to use desire that way? No. Well, I'm happy to hear that you're hearing a word that's hard for you to hear. Because, also, we usually don't say Buddhas, but we sometimes say bodhisattvas, in a way, have a passion for helping people. So, there can be wholesome desires and unwholesome desires. Desiring to possess people

[01:04]

is an unwholesome desire. Desiring to benefit beings is a wholesome desire. Desires can be appropriate and inappropriate to welfare. So I appreciate you hearing the word and I appreciate you saying that you have some difficulty with the word. Another word that people have difficulty with is the word love. Because a lot of people associate love attachment. They think if you love something, you're attached to it. But this bodhisattva Maitreya, Maitri means love. But it's not an attached love. It's a devotion without attachment. But it's also possible to have love and attachment. People are quite familiar with that. So how can you be devoted to someone or to something without attachment?

[02:07]

That's our That's our kind of exploration. And sometimes you're devoted to something and you're not attached to it at the beginning. Like sometimes people come to a temple and they're devoted to the welfare of the temple and they're not attached to it. But then as the years go on, sometimes they start to think they own the temple. You know, because they... You know, I've been taking care of it for 20 years. It's mine. It's mine. So we naturally slip into attachment. I should say naturally, kind of consciously or unconsciously we start to attach to things we take care of. But the spirit of enlightenment is how can you be devoted to something without being possessive of it. And that's quite, it requires a lot of mindfulness and carefulness to catch the possessive part and then be kind to the possessiveness so you can let go of the possessiveness.

[03:14]

Thank you. Yes? So is emotional attachment necessarily the possessiveness? Did you say, does emotional attachment lead to possessiveness? Yes. Emotional attachment is possessiveness. Yes. Yes. and your relationship with that dog, and I imagine your positive emotions about how you love that dog, and how does your attachment to her, how do you not attach to this part of your life that you're so passionate and emotional about?

[04:21]

Well, it's kind of the same as the way I relate to myself. I'm also getting old. And I'm, like, just recently someone said to me, are you ashamed of getting old? And I said, well, I'm not exactly ashamed, but I'm kind of embarrassed about it. Like, it's kind of embarrassing when you... When I speak, I sometimes notice that the precision of my lip, tongue, teeth, the way they form words is not quite as sharp as it was when I was 20 or 30. I notice my speech is somewhat slurred. I notice that I lose my balance a little bit more. I notice that I don't remember things the way I used to. I'm relaxed about it, so when I see you and I don't remember your name, I just sit calmly.

[05:26]

And then eventually I say, excuse me, but I forgot your name. But I'm a little embarrassed that my body is... manifesting in this fresh, new way that's older than it was before. And like sometimes when Rozzy comes out of the house, you know, kind of like she steps down, tiny little step, she falls. It's sad to see. I'm not embarrassed. And she doesn't seem to be embarrassed. But if I felt like that, I think I might feel a little embarrassed. But I try to be kind to... my changing body I try to be kind to this new body which is sort of weaker and not exactly more fragile but weaker doesn't heal quite as fast and so I try to be kind to it and try to appreciate the way it is

[06:35]

And if I feel any sadness about the bodies I don't have anymore, I have a positive frame on the sadness about all the young bodies that are gone. I feel that sadness is medicine for me. If I accept the sadness about all my bodies that I don't have anymore, that will help me be present for the one I do have. So I consider sadness and grieving a medicinal activity. It's something that a healthy body has as medicine for any attachment to the process of change. And the same with the dog. I accept that she's changing. For example, we feed her outside now.

[07:37]

We give her her food. She still likes her food. We feed her outside because she throws it up frequently. Like this morning, she threw it up, but then she eats it again. She doesn't mind. And we also soak it before we give it to her, so it's soft. And actually, it doesn't look that different before and after. And she seems to be... Actually, this morning, she went for the stuff she threw up before. She went for the stuff that was remaining in the container. But it makes it easier for us if she throws it up outside than in the house. And so we're making these adjustments, but she doesn't seem to be embarrassed about it too much, as far as I can tell. Maybe she is embarrassed, but I'm a little embarrassed about, like, I can feel that pretty soon the saliva in my mouth is going to be, like, on my cheeks, you know.

[08:41]

You know, there's plenty of saliva in there, as usual, but after a while, your lips and so on start to relax, and it starts to drip a lot down the cheek, and things like that, you know. But then some people just have to carry, you know, napkins, and then they just dab it there. It's a little adjustment that you dab it in. And there's other places that are oozing, like I have an infection on my elbow. It's oozing stuff. So, you know, it's a little embarrassing. But we can be kind to our own body, like we can be to our dogs and to our friends. Bodhisattva is like nurse. Bodhisattva is nursing everybody. Nurse, nurse, nurse. nursing like a mother nursing a baby, but also attending to all people's sores and all people's embarrassments.

[09:50]

This is part of what is implied by being a Buddha. In order to make a Buddha, you have to nurse a lot of beings, and you have to be willing to nurse even beings that you can't reach, you're still willing to nurse them even though you can't reach it. That's part of the ethics of benefiting beings. And nursing them isn't just that you nurse them, but you show them how to nurse. So they see you nursing them and that teaches them how to nurse. So like mothers teach, mothers are actually teaching their babies how to nurse. so that when they grow up they'll know something about nursing. And so it isn't just that you give them food or give them attention, you also teach them how to give attention. And that's how, again, that's the basis of enlightenment is that kind of care for beings and also developing our own presence with our own illness and confusion and whatever.

[11:07]

Bye-bye. Yes? Some other comments or questions or statements? Yes? [...] Well, in a sense, one of the first bodhisattva compassion practices is giving. And one of the most advanced forms of giving is to give your body. And it's actually recommended in some of these texts that for bodhisattvas in practicing giving not to donate your body unless you have consulted with your teacher beforehand.

[12:15]

Because it's very advanced to actually donate your body. Can you listen to more of this? So it's very, what do you call it? It's very harmful if you wish to donate body parts and then in the process you change your mind. You can imagine, right? You know. Well, people do that, right? Some people donate their kidneys. One of the things you can donate to somebody, right, if you're a proper donor. And then if you would change your mind in the process, it would probably be better not to have started the process in the first place, right? So to donate body parts when we're alive or to donate part of our body when we're alive is, in some sense, quite an advanced practice for most people. But it is a logical extension, and the historical Buddha did donate his body in past lives, he said.

[13:27]

There was a mother tiger who had starving children. The bodhisattva gave her body to the tiger to give to her children. And over in Oakland, you know, when they had the earthquake in 89, you know, when the freeway collapsed, one woman was trapped in the car with her baby and the baby said, Mommy, Mommy, I'm hungry. Give me something to eat. And the mother cut open her body and fed her baby her blood. So it's... I don't think it was uncompassionate of her to herself to give blood to her baby. Just like it's not uncompassionate that a mother gives milk to her baby. Now, some mothers may feel like it's not compassionate to do that.

[14:30]

Hmm? What? I guess it's that I have a different level of compassion for her. Oh yeah, it's an extension. Right, and I'm not enlightened enough to make Maitreya explode in the room right now. Asanga was pretty compassionate before that, you know, but he had limits. His compassion was limited. And Maitreya is not going to show up until your compassion opens up all the way. To get the big time visitations, you know, to have like this huge, full-fledged presence of the Buddha, you have to open up completely and finally not exclude maggots and banana slugs.

[15:36]

But most of us have to work quite a while before we can get there. But I've seen people who are compassionate to beings almost nobody else can be compassionate towards, and I'm just totally impressed that they can feel compassion for this being, human or non-human. But the same person might not be compassionate to somebody else that would be easy for me. Like some people, a lot of people say to me, It's really easy for me to be compassionate to animals, but I really don't feel compassion to humans. They really do not like humans, mostly. And they love almost all animals. And some people like some animals. They really love some animals, like cats, but they don't like dogs. Or some people like cats and dogs, but they hate spiders, and they'll kill spiders sometimes. They're often afraid, right? And out of their fear, they strike at the spider.

[16:37]

So all of us probably have, even this great Asanga had his limits and he had to practice 12 years before he could like feel love for maggots. But some people actually, like for example, some scientists who study maggots, they probably after a while, they start to love them. Like I know this scientist, his name is E.O. Wilson. He loves ants. You know, he spent most of his life studying ants. He just loves them, and I love them too. But a lot of other people study rats, and most people don't like rats. But if you start to study anything, you'll finally realize your close relationship with it, you know, if you study it compassionately. So almost anything... that we feel separate from, if we practice compassion towards it long enough, we'll realize the story is saying if we just keep practicing compassion, the obstructions in our hearts and minds which say that something's not us will drop away and we'll realize that the person you're looking at is really who you are, whether it's a baby, a dog, a human, or a maggot.

[18:01]

But until we practice compassion deeply, we still feel that some beings or many beings or most beings are separate from us. That's our basic delusion. And so this compassion practice is to help us get over delusion. And I'm not saying I could lick the maggots away from a wound. I'm not saying I can do that. But I am aspiring to do that. And in cases where I have been able to get over those things I felt really good. Like I used to, when I was in college I used to work in a rehabilitation clinic for paralyzed young people and paralyzed old people. And I used to get very close to them and do things which most people would find very repulsive. But I became very comfortable, you know, being very intimate with them, like being their mother, you know.

[19:04]

At first I thought, geez, really? That's part of my job? I was an orderly. And I just did these things. And I really look back on that as it was a great training for me because now I feel like I can get close to almost anybody now in their messiness. I'm not repulsed by people's stuff, by the stuff that comes out of people. It doesn't repulse me. I can get in there because of that training. But at first I thought, you know, this is difficult. So again, in order to realize enlightenment, we have to follow through on the And that means we have to train ourselves at getting close to the things that we're repulsed by. And also part of the training is to be honest, like you're being honest right now.

[20:07]

And say, that would be difficult for me. That would be difficult. Okay, fine. Be kind to that limit. And if you're kind to that limit, it'll drop away. If you want it to. Okay? Thank you. Yes. I have a question that may be along a similar line. I'm curious if limiting compassion can sometimes be a good thing. Did you say limiting it? And where I'm coming from with that is that I work in a culture where traditionally women are expected to be almost... compassionate towards others, towards the point of being a barber, where your own needs are not met. Right. And so my question is more about boundaries. Where do you draw the boundary of being compassionate towards others or compassionate for the group versus compassionate for yourself?

[21:08]

So her question is about drawing boundaries. for compassion. Can I just say drawing boundaries? So again, I would propose that drawing boundaries is part of compassion practice. And I think that in some cultures maybe the women are not encouraged to draw boundaries as an act of compassion as much as the men are encouraged to draw boundaries as an act of compassion. bodhisattvas do offer boundaries as actions of compassion. So I didn't get into it today, but probably maybe next Sunday I will, of stories of drawing boundaries for the sake of the person you're drawing the boundary for, or offering a boundary for the sake of someone else.

[22:11]

The Kambodhi Sattva doesn't really, it's not really my benefit versus the other person's. It's both. But for the sake of both of us, I need to offer boundaries sometimes as a gift. And I think that there is a tendency in some cultures to tell women that they shouldn't draw boundaries. that that's not compassionate. And they really have a hard time doing it. So the word service, some people feel like service means, well, total surrender. But again, total surrender should not be done before you're ready for total surrender. It's sometimes too advanced. So you should say, I'm not ready to serve maggots.

[23:14]

I'm not ready to let you into my house. I'm not comfortable with letting you into my room. I firmly offer you the boundary that I don't feel comfortable doing this or doing that. And I do this with firmness and calmness and generosity. And this is really what I have to give to you. This is who I am. This is really who I am. This is my authentic offering. I don't think this is appropriate. And you can say no very strongly as an act of compassion. And both men and women have to learn that on the Bodhisattva path. And that kind of activity occurs under the heading of benefiting others. Others need us to do that in order for them to mature because they need to learn how to do it themselves.

[24:20]

Somebody has to teach them how to compassionately set a boundary. You know, in an actual situation. So they can see, she set that boundary and she was really kind when she said it. And I really learned how to do it from her. That was great. And the person didn't respect it, but she still offered it. And then she offered it again in another way. She wasn't trying to control the person. She was just being herself. And who she was was she was saying, N-O, this is not going to work. This is no good. I don't agree with this. And it was really kind. Does that make sense? Thank you. You're welcome. Anything else today? Yes.

[25:23]

Sure. What it's like now, we say it's possible to offer a boundary to someone who doesn't want any boundaries. It's possible to say to someone, would you like some feedback? And the person says, no. But still, when you said, do you want some feedback? And they said no, they received your question. And your question was compassion. So the fact that they even noticed it and didn't want any more of it was the start. What came to my mind was I told a story in a book called Being Upright and the story is about this Jewish family who lived in Chicago and the father in the family was a cantor.

[26:30]

You know what a cantor is? A cantor is a singer in the synagogue. So this is the rabbi and there's a cantor. And I guess usually the rabbi is not the cantor. Is that right? Huh? Yeah. So he was the cantor. He did the singing and he lived in Chicago, but he wanted to move out of Chicago because he wanted to move into an area that was less anti-Semitic than where he lived in Chicago. So they moved to Lincoln, Nebraska. But it turns out Lincoln, Nebraska is where the headquarters of the Ku Klux Klan is. Okay. And so when he came, huh? Yeah. So he got there and when the head of the clan found out he was there, he started sending them hate mail. And when he first got the hate mail, he felt a boundary, you know, like this is no good. I don't like this. But then he said to his wife, you know, maybe we should practice our religion with this guy.

[27:32]

Maybe we should, like, love our enemy. So the next time he contacted them, the cantor said... By the way, the cantor's name was, I think, Michael Wise was his name. So Mr. Wise said to the head of the Klan, whose name was Larry Trapp, he said... It turns out Larry Trapp was wheelchair. He was disabled and rode around in a wheelchair. He said, I understand that you're in a wheelchair and that we'd like to help you go shopping. And the Klan leader said, no, but thank you. And they just kept offering him, every time he would attack them, they would just offer him gifts and kindness.

[28:38]

And they just kept it up and kept it up and kept it up. And finally, they had the idea of going over to his house, over to the clan leader's house, and bringing him dinner. And the cantor told one of his friends, and his friend said, Michael, you're going too far. This is crazy. But anyway, he and his wife went over to the clan leader's house, brought him dinner, and he accepted it. And gradually, he stopped attacking them. And then finally, he wrote a public letter apologizing to the Jewish people, the Native American people, the Catholics, the African Americans. He wrote letters to all of them apologizing for all the cruelty that he had expressed to them over the years and quit the Klan and then converted to Judaism.

[29:49]

And when he became close to death he moved in with the wise family and they took care of him until he died. But at first he rejected, actually at first the cantor rejected him. Not to set up a boundary, but set up a boundary in an unkind way. So he was actually offering the cantor a gift that the cantor rejected. But then the cantor realized rejecting the gift of hatred is not our practice. We're supposed to love the people who hate us. Now, it's not easy to love the people who hate us, but that's what we're supposed to learn. And they learned it. They practiced it. They practiced restraint. They practiced being present with this obnoxious offering. And based on that presence, they were actually able to offer kindness back, which was initially rejected. And they just offer it again.

[30:54]

Rejected. Offered again. Accepted. Offer more. Accepted. And Larry Trapp said, after people said, well, what happened to you? How could you? What happened to you in this process? He said, I never in my life ever experienced love like that before. I couldn't resist it. And so the bodhisattva learns to love in situations, more and more situations. And that's the main thing that they're teaching. But also we have to recognize and be honest. Part of love is to be honest. Part of love is to realize, well, I don't love this person very much. I have limits on my love. So part of love is to be honest that I have limits. And if I can be kind to my limits, the love will grow on kindness to the limits. But this is not easy.

[31:59]

The bodhisattva path is not... One of its selling points is not, this is easy. Its selling point is that it's joyful and that it's wonderful and that eventually it's the greatest happiness. But it is difficult because we come up against our limits because we're not supposed to stay away from our limits but also we're not supposed to deny our limits. And when we feel like somebody's asking for too much, we should say that's too much. I'm not ready to give that right now. And I'm being kind to myself to admit that's my limit right now. If I give this to you, it won't be a gift. It will be something I'm doing because I feel like I have to. But the next day you might feel like, today I feel like I really do want to give it. Yesterday I didn't. Today I do. And today I really do. I actually want to. And yesterday I didn't.

[33:00]

And I didn't give it yesterday because it wouldn't have been a gift yesterday. And if I gave it yesterday, I would have resented it. But today, I'm a different person. And today I'm ready to give it. Oh, well, thank you. How about, will you give that too? No, I'm not ready for that. That's too much. What time is it? Oh. Yes. Could you speak up? she said that she has an old friend who thinks that she's become more horrible this person used to think you were horrible okay so she has a friend who thought she was an absolute best friend and now she thinks that she's now she thinks you're horrible she what now you become a demon to her okay

[34:28]

Okay. Pardon? You've tried to set boundaries? What kind of boundaries? Okay, so you're setting a boundary in terms of how much you want to expose yourself to her messages. Yes. Is that right? Yeah. Pardon? You said that to her? Yeah. Okay, so you're saying... I'm repeating what you're saying because people can't hear you, right?

[35:42]

You can't hear in the back, can you? No. So I'm repeating what you're saying. Is it okay if I repeat? So she's now... Chiran is now saying that she's going to stop email communication. Is that right? I invited her to call me because I noticed... Okay, so she has invited her friend to call her, but no more emails. So you're offering a boundary on email. I offer the boundary of no email, but I'm still available to talk to you on the telephone. That could be a very good gift. And she doesn't like it, but... Her not liking it doesn't necessarily mean that it's not good.

[36:43]

Her not liking it or her saying that she doesn't like it is her gift to you. How do you feel about the gift of her not liking it? Pardon? How do you feel about the gift of the sadness? Feels like there's some love in the gift of sadness. I agree. I think sadness is actually, sadness and grief are our body's love to us. So we should learn to say welcome to sadness and grief because it's a gift. And when people don't like me, anybody who doesn't like me, that's a gift to me. If you don't like me, that's a gift from you to me. That's what the bodhisattvas say. Everything you do is a gift to me. And if I don't understand that, then it's a gift for me to be honest and say to myself and maybe to you, I don't understand how that's a gift.

[37:54]

But that's my problem because I believe that everything you are is a gift to me. But sometimes I get, sometimes I'm not present enough to see that whatever you are is a gift to me. But if we're present then we can practice generosity and practicing generosity means that you're present with the gift that's been given to you now of your friend not liking you offering a limit on emails. Sometimes it's more kind to be quiet with somebody.

[39:06]

Again, basically, we start compassion with the first practice is to be still, which also means to be quiet. So a lot of times, maybe it's better to, first of all, listen to somebody, even if they're not making any sound. So being silent and still is the starting place. And sometimes you stay in that starting place over and over of just being with her. I can't win, she said. She said I can't win. Being present is not about winning. Being present is not about getting success. Being present is to be present with being confused about what kindness is. Being confused about what kindness is is another gift to be present with.

[40:11]

To be sure of what kindness is is dangerous. I don't know what kindness is. Do you? One time I gave a talk here and I was talking about love and I realized I didn't know what I was talking about. And I confessed that to everybody and continued to talk about it. And I don't know what confusion is and I don't know what clarity is, but I can talk about them. And I can practice kindness even though I don't know what it is. Just like I can eat lunch even though I don't know what it is. So, being present means that you are present with what's happening and what's happening sometimes is you are confused about what kindness is. And if you're confused about kindness, it would follow, I think, logically, that you would welcome other people's comments on what it is. But not so that you'd eliminate confusion, but because when you're confused and you are present with it, you're open to learn.

[41:18]

And if you're confused and you're, I mean, if you're certain and you're present to being certain, you're open to confusion. And if you're confused and you're present with confusion, you're open to certainty. And you don't grasp certainty and you don't grasp confusion when you're present. And then you say, Guess what happened? I'm certain of something. And now I'm over that now. And now I'm confused. And now something else is going on. Yes? I'd like to check my understanding. It involves a Peanuts cartoon, you know Peanuts? Peanuts. Charlie Brown, Snoopy. Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Peanuts. Lucy. Lucy. Is there anybody else? Linus, Linus.

[42:30]

Linus and the dog. What's the dog's name? Snoopy. And the bird? And the bird, okay. We're tuned in. I saw this calendar while I was out recently. It was a penis calendar, and it was playing with the theme, love is. And there was a page that struck me. It was Lucy holding a football and Charlie Brown lying on his back on the ground because she always pulls the football away from him when he tries to kick it. And the phrase on that page was, love is trust. And I was perplexed for a moment. Then I finally realized, I'm checking out with you, that Lucy's love, or excuse me, Charlie Brown's love for Lucy is to kick that football, to want to kick that football. And it's really not this business that she pulls away every time. You're checking your understanding of love?

[43:34]

Right. I think you have a good understanding of love. And, um, You might get some padding for your back. Or get good at breaking your fall after you give a wholehearted kick. I think that's what love is, is to go for it. And setting a boundary can be going for it too. But not setting a boundary to get control. Setting a boundary is a gift. You can kick by saying no. You can kick by saying yes. And either way, you may fall on your back because you're alive and you're participating

[44:37]

Did you have a comment, Timo? Anything else to this morning? Yes. Pardon? Again, first of all, the first practice is don't interpret. First practice is be present. Somebody says, I don't like you. You're present with that. Now, if you're present with it, now you can see that it's a gift. You can be ready for it. You can see it's a gift. Once you're present, you can practice giving. If you're not practicing giving, or if I'm not practicing giving with somebody who doesn't like me, if I'm not practicing giving with the one who says they don't like me, then it will be hard for me to see that their dislike of me is a gift.

[45:52]

But when I'm present, what am I ready for? I'm ready to practice. When I'm doing the practice of the ethics of presence, I'm ready for the practice of wholesome dharmas, and the first practice is giving. So, somebody walks up to me and gives me a gift, or anyway, I don't necessarily call it a gift, they just said, I don't, Reb, Reb, hello Reb, I don't like you. So, if I'm present, when they come, I say, okay, here's an opportunity for giving. And now they give me this stinky gift. And I am practicing giving towards them. And if I'm practicing giving towards them, I can see that they're practicing giving toward me. But if I'm not being generous to them, it's hard for me to see that they're generous towards me. Now, sometimes I don't realize I'm practicing giving with the person, but the way they practice giving with me, they wake me up to, oh, I'm practicing giving with you too.

[46:55]

And you shook your head now, so I want to practice giving with you shaking your head. Are you saying that when you have that kind of bombardment and she's received and some of us have always received, is it not fruitful to think, do they have anything validating that I should pay attention to? What is this dislike that's created by that person, that repulsion, and should I look at that within me Do you just say, well, I will look at that as a gift? It almost sounds a little esoteric. Well, what I hear you saying is, if someone... says, you know, I don't like you, I think you said at the beginning, how should I interpret that? And I'm suggesting, actually, that you postpone interpretation until later.

[48:05]

Interpretation is a more advanced practice than giving. So I'm suggesting, first of all, ground yourself in giving before you start doing interpretation. Interpretations eventually can be very helpful. But they should be grounded in compassion. To be doing interpretation without your feet in kindness and compassion, your interpretation activity will be less successful. So I'm saying, first of all, number one, be present with this offering. Number two, practice giving. Once you're practicing giving, then you can start to move into interpretation. But if you haven't really seen it as a gift... If you're not in a generous mood, ungenerous interpretations are not necessarily going to be helpful. But if you already, if you feel like, oh, it's a gift. Now, what could this gift mean? What could I learn from this gift? Then I think you'd be more successful. So again, these practices, these bodhisattva practices are done in order. First is the ethics, presence.

[49:07]

Ethics of presence. Next, ethics of wholesome activities. Number one, giving. Number two, be careful. and so on. Number three, patience. If somebody says, I hate you, generally speaking, that's uncomfortable. If somebody spits in my face, it doesn't necessarily feel good. I have to be patient. Then be enthusiastic about calming down with the situation. Then wisdom. Then interpretation. So interpretation or analysis of what's going on is the last step in the process. You should be based on these other bodhisattva compassion practices, leading up to interpretation. And the final interpretation is actually understanding the reality of the situation, which is good. It finishes the job. But first of all, all these other compassion practices leading up to it. Thank you. Yes. I'd like to give an example

[50:11]

You give me an example of what? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And so I was like, wow, they actually hit me again. Well, I felt opposed to it. And then they also said I saw it at the wake-up call. Like, wow, I didn't know that I was identified with the quality of this white people that call mine. Everybody isn't any of that. And so that's it. So yeah, great gift. I guess what I wanted to share is when someone said, I don't write you, I think it's kind of tough to think, like, well, who doesn't like that comment and my identity? I think I used the word ego.

[51:18]

It's kind of like the ego that opposes that it's not like me. But then it's a great reminder that someone says, I don't like you. They say, I don't like your ego. And you realize that you're identified with your ego when you oppose them. to get them to say, hey, and then you sit back and realize that your work, sadly, feels also different because it's like, say, that you wake them up at your education break and say, I can't let go, which I could interpret. I don't know if that makes a little more helpful. It made sense, but as you were talking I was not sure that your analytic process I wasn't sure that your analytic process and your interpretive process was grounded in the other practices of compassion.

[52:30]

But when you told the shorter story about the bicycle, I felt generosity there, quite well established, that you could receive the gift of the situation. But when you got into the analysis, which is sometimes that's sort of like, that's what you call it, that's kind of the coup de grace that finishes off the story, that analysis. But as you were talking, I wasn't struck by your presence. You know, the first precept of being present with every word you were saying. Yeah. If you had been more present when you told me, I think that your analysis would have been, had a better chance to be fruitful. So this is a good example of Jackie asked about the interpretation. You demonstrated two different interpretations. One which was like kind of felt present with the compassion of giving. The next one you got kind of carried away, I felt, in the analysis.

[53:33]

But you didn't keep grounding yourself moment by moment in presence. See the difference? Yeah. Are you practicing presence now? I feel that maybe it's hard to share the story of our best friend who did something similar and had a similar reaction, but more beneficial to me.

[54:37]

Yes. Yes. Can you hear him, everybody? Could you say it louder? Thank you. You were describing the practices within the practice of responding to an insult in an compassionate way. One of the last practices you mentioned was calmness. And to me, it seems it would be really difficult to proceed right from the outset if you didn't have to work around it in calmness. So I don't see how you would get to calmness. The practice of presence is not quite the same as the practice of concentration.

[56:07]

You can be present even before you're calm. You can be still even before you're calm. But being still is closely related to being calm. When you're still and also you're relaxed and flexible and soft in body and mind, then you're not only present, but you're calm. So the criterion of calm is not just that you're present, but that you're open and flexible and soft. And that requires these other practices of presence, giving, ethics, you know, carefulness, patience, and enthusiasm for being that way. So in one of the scriptures it says, if someone is focused on something, but their body and mind are not yet flexible, is this concentration?

[57:11]

And the answer is no. But it's similar to it, but it's not the actual thing. So you can be present with being tense, like somebody can do something and your body tenses up. Somebody can insult you and your body tenses up. But you can be present with that and not move from that. For example, not strike back. But you're still not relaxed. You're still not soft and open. You're present, but you're not really open to this being a gift yet. But you're present. So now you can start exploring it as a gift. But that's not the whole story. Then you have to be careful of this gift, this insult. Then you have to be patient with it because it still hurts. And then you can calm down with it. So there is a difference between being still and being relaxed and open.

[58:14]

Concentration, tranquility is, the calm of concentration is calm and open and relaxed. And you need these other practices to be that way. What feels to me like I was in that situation? Of being insulted? Yes. [...] I think I would probably have to stop And just stay in stillness for quite some time, maybe, before those other qualities could actually come in. Yeah. So, when you said you had to stay in that, another way to put it is you'd have to do that again and again. You have to do it again and again, moment after moment. And... In doing that, there's a little bit of giving and ethics. There's a little bit of giving and accepting that you're not ready to move on too much, and also being careful because you realize, I really have to emphasize this being present thing here.

[59:25]

Otherwise, I could slip into some reactivity. So the presence protects against reactivity, either being too generous or not generous enough. You know, being more generous than you're ready for or less generous than you're ready for. Yeah, right. So one of the stories that I've told many times that turned me to Zen, one of the inspirations, one of the bodhisattva visitations in my life which turned me to practice Zen was the story of a Zen monk who was insulted. And not only insulted, I mean, people not only said they didn't like him, but they didn't like him for something he didn't do They falsely accused him and strongly insulted him. You know, they said about the worst thing you can say to a Zen monk is that you're a disgrace to being a Zen monk. To some of you, if somebody said you're a disgrace to a Zen monk, you might say, well, no problem.

[60:26]

But there was really an insulting thing to say to him. And when they said it to him, he responded with, basically, I hear you. And then they asked him to do a lot of work for a long time. And he did it. And then they found out it was not true. And then they came and praised him. And the way he received the praise was the same. I hear you. And I thought, yeah, I want to learn that. And in that story you can see all those practices. He was present. He wasn't reactive. He was generous. He was careful. He was patient. It was not comfortable, the stuff he got put through. And he was calm. And he was wise. And the first part of the story I thought was pretty impressive. But when the second part came, I thought, yeah, to treat praise the same way is really where it's at.

[61:28]

That's the wisdom part. And so that's what I came to learn. That's bodhisattva training. Produces such an ability. That's our aspiration, is to be such a person, to be such a great bodhisattva, zen lady. Must be time now, huh? So please, let's all Be mindful and look inward to see what the great aspiration is, what the great wish of our life is.

[62:19]

@Transcribed_v005
@Text_v005
@Score_87.04