This class I described as meditation on mind and emotions and feelings. The idea being that observing the mind Listening to teachings of the mind, listening to teachings of the mind, listening to teachings over and over about the mind, we actually have a possibility to understand it. And by understanding it, to be free of it. So its basic proposal or claim is that by studying, by learning about delusion, by being compassionate to delusions, which are the source of our suffering, by being compassionate to our delusions, and become free of them.

[01:22]

very optimistic proposal. By studying a self and self-concern, by being compassionate to self, by being kind to it, we will understand it and become free of self-clinging. And again, self-clinging being primary condition for suffering. The same can be said for various afflictions that occur in consciousness. If we can practice compassion towards them, we can be present and calm with them. We can learn about them. We can hear the teachings about them and apply the teachings. if we're kind to these various contents of mind, the feelings and emotions.

[02:27]

So that's what I will be encouraging compassion towards this phenomena of consciousness and study of this phenomena of consciousness and understanding of it I can't exactly teach you to understand it, but I can teach you how to understand it. And if you practice that way you will understand and be free of affliction. So I'm going to suggest to use the word consciousness for one aspect of mind and use mind for another aspect of mind.

[03:38]

So I would use mind as, in some sense, the big term for cognition. and consciousness for a more limited realm of cognition. So simply put, mind has two parts, an unconscious part and a conscious part. And I would probably have the the mindfulness to use consciousness for the conscious part, and not use consciousness for the unconscious part, but call that mind. But I might slip, so please help me if I seem to be contradicting myself. Old man Freud comes to mind. He seemed to have discovered

[04:48]

that there was unconscious processes going along with conscious processes. And the old Buddhas also discovered that there were unconscious processes going along with or supporting conscious process. Now there's theories, scientists, that unconscious processes have been around on this planet for considerably longer than the conscious processes. And currently there are living beings, apparently, who seem to have unconscious mental process, but not conscious process. And there's even the theory and the experience that there's some beings who actually have behavior and they have processes of adapting to the environment but not mind.

[06:15]

So there's living beings who are Without mind there's living beings with mind but unconscious and then there's beings that have conscious mind also. Human beings seem to be ones that have consciousness and also it looks like a lot of And it's not clear whether, for example, insects do have consciousness. They have certainly amazing minds by which they make these amazing societies. But I'll stop there and just say again now that consciousness is, I didn't say this before, I'll say it again, consciousness is a subject. A consciousness is a subject. A consciousness has subjectivity.

[07:19]

I'm using the word consciousness for self-consciousness. And there's other realms of mind where it doesn't seem to appear as a self. It doesn't seem to have subjectivity. There's an awareness there and there's all kinds of mental processes but not self-consciousness. the ancient Buddhist teaching is that the unconscious is the support or the foundation for the consciousness. The suggestion that the unconscious is moment by moment, in other words,

[08:28]

almost constantly, and if you ask me, remind me, I'll explain by almost. It's almost constantly being transformed by consciousness. What happens in consciousness transforms the unconscious. And then the transformed consciousness supports another consciousness. and that new consciousness transforms the unconsciousness which supports a new consciousness. The consciousness which has a sense of self in it acts in such a way that the sense of self is transmitted to the unconscious which then carries consequence of self-imagining or imagining of self. It embodies, it carries the consequence of self-consciousness, but not as self-consciousness, but as the seed for further self-consciousness.

[09:38]

If we would remove the unconscious processes, If they were turned off, we would die soon. Because the unconscious processes, for example, the breathing, the circulation, digestion, and they do lots of wonderful things. They actually orchestrate the movement of the body and so on. If we turn off the consciousness, the self-consciousness, we do not die. We may eventually, but we can go on a long time without this self-consciousness. And ordinary people, when they go to sleep,

[10:48]

and enter into dreamless sleep, at that time the self-consciousness is basically not active. Self-consciousness is active consciousness. is the consciousness where it seems like somebody's there and somebody does something. That level of self-consciousness is where we ordinarily know things. It's where worlds appear or where a world appears and where there seems to be somebody who knows it. But in dreamless sleep, the world doesn't appear. There's no world. But in dreaming sleep, and in waking up, there is somebody there. So in dreaming, did I say dreamless sleep? In dreaming sleep, there's somebody there.

[11:52]

And that state of consciousness is very similar to when we're so-called awake. And we're dreaming also, but we're awake. We have our eyes open and so on. So every night, many people go to a place of just unconscious process, which is fine and restful. Self-consciousness is often very tiring. Like Fred said, I said, how is your consciousness? He said, tired, lots of tiredness. And many people say to me, they observe this self-consciousness and they say, I'm sick of it. I'm sick and tired of it. How can I escape this tiring consciousness where it's me, [...] all about me, all this concern about me and mine.

[13:03]

even, you know, in times when they're not terrified. They're nauseated. And then sometimes the nauseation moves to the background and then the self is not concerned about exactly getting out. The self is just terrified of what's going to happen in the next moment or tomorrow. That's also in the round. Fear occurs, I would say, in consciousness. I would just suggest that those who are afraid are conscious beings, that some living beings are not afraid because they don't have self-consciousness. But when you have self-consciousness you have this set up for fear. The set up for fear. It's not mandatory to be afraid when you have but it is sort of unavoidable to be afraid if you have self-consciousness and you don't understand it. So here again, if we would understand self-consciousness, there would be no fear.

[14:17]

In lieu of understanding, fear comes and goes. It's sometimes quite subtle, almost like not there maybe, and then suddenly we become quite aware of it, and sometimes it becomes very powerful, and that changes too usually. But the fear depends, I would say, on not understanding mind. Not understanding mind in both senses, because understanding consciousness is aided by understanding how it depends on the unconscious. The explanation of consciousness without the teaching of unconscious is, I would say, more difficult Freud was having a hard time understanding the consciousness of his own. He was having trouble.

[15:20]

But when he came upon the unconscious process, evidence for unconscious process, that makes the conscious process easier to understand. And also maybe even easier to be kind to. Because we don't think what we want to think, just by liking to think it. We don't think loving wishes for the welfare of beings just because we think we'd like to think loving wishes for the welfare of beings. Thinking of the welfare of beings in consciousness has the consequence of transforming the unconscious which may later support thinking of the welfare of beings, of oneself or of others. So there is a recommendation to hear the teachings, to think positive thoughts, because thinking positive thoughts transforms the foundation for thinking in the direction of positive thoughts.

[16:38]

But the thing that really transforms things in the direction of positive thoughts is understanding the thinking process. If we understand the thinking process, we will no longer have to try to think positive thoughts anymore. We just will. Well, I think I'll pause here for a second and see if you have any questions about what I've said so far. Yes, Lois and Kim. What do I mean by understanding mind? If you understand you'll be free of it. If you understand, yeah, so, for example, if you understand fear, you'll be free of it.

[17:48]

And how do you understand fear? Well, let's see, I'll just go to the end. What would it be like to understand fear? It would be to understand that fear is a process which depends on clinging to the sense of self. And then this understanding would entail understanding that the self is a process. It seems to be that you could cling to the self. And then you can also observe that clinging to the self creates the fear. By observing this process, you come to see that it's not possible to the self, in which case you realize not clinging to the self and you realize that that is understanding which gives rise to freedom from fear.

[18:54]

Oh yeah, good. Yeah. The understanding is, you know, it's something you could, in consciousness, you could observe that understanding has occurred. You could see. And you could see that understanding, one of the ways you could see that understanding occurred is that you would feel, you'd have a new relationship with fear. you'd be so free of it that you don't even have to get rid of it. You would notice, for example, that no matter what people do, you don't hate anybody anymore. You would notice that you don't look down on anybody. You would notice to undermine anybody's kindness to anybody else. Even if everybody's being kind to somebody else and looking like they're not being kind to you, that would be fine with you.

[20:16]

You would not be anything anymore. You could observe these things. But the understanding itself, you can't actually observe. The understanding is not like an observable thing. Although you could think you observe it, that's not the understanding. Understanding is not recognized. It is, so using the word realization or realize is good because realize has the two meanings. One is to understand and the other is to actualize or make real. So the realization itself is we are. And the way things actually are is that there is the appearance of consciousness, but actually there is no abiding there, and actually there's no fear there. Actually. It's just an image, the self.

[21:23]

And abiding is just a mental construction, and the self is just a mental construction. When you understand that, you realize a new birth of freedom, as they say. And then you can exercise that. I see Kim and Betsy and Carol. Kim? I'm glad you're interested in it because that feedback process is a teaching which is given to help us understand the mind and consciousness. Okay, so the feedback process, yes? ... Yeah, yeah.

[22:47]

Yeah. Well, part of what you said is very simple for me to say yes, that when certain kinds of things happen in consciousness, they transform the unconscious, and the unconscious is intimate relationship with the body. Not the body that we see in consciousness, but the body that unconsciousness has a close relationship with and it is said in the teachings that the body and this unconscious fundamental cognition, they share the same risks and advantages. if the unconscious is absorbing lots of unwholesome conscious activity, registering the consequences of unwholesome consciousness with the unconscious.

[24:02]

The unconscious doesn't exactly suffer, but the unconscious will be transformed in a direction away from understanding. by certain kinds of conscious activity and go along with this transformation away from freedom and peace. So in that sense the body will be made unhealthy in concert with the unconscious which registers the consequences of more or less non-beneficial conscious activity. Vice versa, positive or skillful conscious activity transforms the unconscious immediately, simultaneously, it's functioning and the body gets transformed with the unconscious.

[25:04]

So the body and this unconscious together support conscious activity which is in the direction of peace and freedom. that kind of health supported by conscious life which is moving in the direction of becoming more and more liberating and also it supports that conscious activity by registering the consequences of past activity. liberating in the sense sometimes of warming up to it, preparatory to it, and sometimes actually in the case of actually liberating, transforms the unconscious. This is a big topic which I don't have much to bring up tonight, but I'm going to do it anyway. There is wisdom, there is understanding which is preparatory

[26:10]

It's a preparatory wisdom to perfect wisdom. There's perfect wisdom and then there's activity. There's wisdom which is perfect wisdom. So wholesome activity can develop wisdom before actually we understand completely the nature of mind. But it's still kind of a type of wisdom. And then there's understanding the nature the way you can act, the wisdom in action after wisdom has been realized. All along, the body is being transformed by the wisdom process and becoming, you could say, the body is becoming more and more healthy in the sense that the body is more and more converted to wisdom. So finally, in the full course, the body gets entirely turned into wisdom. And the unconscious is... And the unconscious is not... There's no unconscious anymore.

[27:22]

It has been turned into wisdom. Let's see, Betsy? I'll go over that more later. Yes, Betsy? Okay, so if you're in the sense that you're deeply relaxed, are you talking about that kind of meditation? Did you say lose? Yeah. Well, there's two meditations.

[28:24]

Well, there's a meditation where you lose attachment to the body and mind, and that meditation is where you're relaxed and wise. So when the meditation has relaxation and calm... flexibility and openness and undistracted presence and wisdom, then there's no attachment to body and mind or self or others. That's the full-scale wisdom meditation. Description of the goal of the process. or at least an intermediate goal. The next goal after that would be to put that non-attachment wisdom into action. By doing the practices which you did before the non-attachment, before you understand the mind completely, you're practicing the practices, the virtues, which lead to the understanding which is non-attachment.

[29:31]

But you still have some attachment. but you're doing the practices with attachment which will release you from attachment. Once you release the same practices again, but not with any attachment. When you first do, when you first practice generosity, ethics and so on, you practice them according to your idea and you're attached to your idea of them. You think this is generosity and this is not. This is ethical and this is not. If you're successful and you do what you think is generosity and what you think is ethics and that leads you to open up more and more to that they aren't what you think they are until finally you're not attached to them or anything else in body and mind and then you do them again same practice not any longer attached to your idea of them. So that's a big sweep of the whole course right there. Carol? You just said unconscious flight or flight, fight or flight, okay?

[31:14]

Fight or flight is not unconscious. The unconscious has no fight or flight. The fight or flight is well, the seeds for fight or flight are well established in the unconscious, in the body. But the unconscious can't fight or flight. It can't fight. What? Yeah, but the unconscious isn't running. it's sending instruction to your muscles. And if you're not conscious, if you're not a conscious being, you wouldn't know that you are running. You know, we are, so we usually... Some people do not notice when they're running. So I would distinguish between the unconscious having fight or flight and the unconscious orchestrating fight or flight.

[32:15]

which in some beings is not conscious because they don't have self-consciousness. In humans, because we have self-consciousness, we often notice when we're running and we often notice when we're walking. Right? But ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately we don't always notice that we're walking when we're walking. Even though we could, we don't. So two, how to get to the place of freedom from The suffering of delusion is to notice that you're walking or to notice that you're breathing. And to notice whether you're breathing in or out is optional. You don't have to notice you're breathing. You can be totally distracted from it. You don't have to notice that the body is appearing in your consciousness, even though it is. You can be distracted from it and not notice it. However, it's recommended to notice the body as frequently as possible, which for most people, as frequently as possible is not very often.

[33:28]

So more would be good. But anyway, if you can only do it a little, that's good. If that's all you can do is once in a while notice your body, and then you notice, perhaps then you can also go on to notice, is there any sense of owning the body? And if you can notice that, you can start to notice the self. The pain in the stomach noticing that and being kind to that sets up the possibility to notice for example that this is a possession of the body that has a stomach ache so we want to practice kindness towards pains in the body and so on because that will lead to an understanding which will free us from everything that we have problems with

[34:35]

Fred had a little there where he was in the hospital with a very powerful and shocking diagnosis. And for a while, he kind of didn't have any problems, even though he was still sick. Some things, somehow, he stopped resisting. There was some wisdom, some some wisdom. He turned into some wisdom and stopped resisting his life. And there was health there and freedom for a little while under what might be called a more unhealthy body than he had known before. But some other health came in. And the body supported that new mind, that new understanding. Yes?

[35:47]

Abide is like cling, yes. So, if you are possibly attached to another body, Did you say, is it possible to attach to non-abiding? Yes. I think so. Because that's all you can attach to is ideas. You cannot attach to anything but ideas. And actually you can't attach to ideas either. But it seems like you can. In fact, in reality we cannot attach to anything. And in that same reality we are free. We don't have to concoct freedom. We have to enter it by practice.

[36:56]

We don't have to concoct non-abiding. It's more like discover it So one of the foundation stories of the Zen tradition, so this is, this course is, the title of this course is Zen Meditation. So in Zen we have stories about who, you know, in ordinary daily life actualized these teachings. So we have a story of a young man walking through a marketplace in Guangzhou, southern China. He's selling firewood. He hears somebody say that an enlightening being, a being in the process of becoming fully enlightened, should enliven a mind that has no abode, that doesn't dwell in anything, that doesn't dwell in colors, sounds, tastes, tangibles, or mental objects.

[38:04]

But the only way to dwell in colors is to dwell in the idea of color. You can't actually dwell in color. And you actually can't actually dwell in the idea of a color either. You can't actually live in an idea of a color. But it seems like we can. And so the path to not dwelling in a color is not by being mean to what happens when we dwell. It's the path to being free of dwelling in a color is by being kind to dwelling in colors. We need to learn how to observe and be kind to the appearance of dwelling in order to be free. The basic principle again is by being kind to a problem we will be free of it, we will understand it, and we will realize it and become free of it.

[39:09]

And then when we're free of it, we need to catch that we're starting to dwell on the freedom. Which means, because when you're free, you can still, like when you feel like you're not free, you can have an idea that you're not free. And then it seems like you can dwell on that. You can pout about it. You can be angry about it. You can fight it. You can oppose it. So we can oppose our delusions and being deluded we can depose delusions. Being enlightened we don't oppose delusions anymore. And if we don't oppose them we're not dwelling in them. Also if we don't attach to them we're not dwelling in them. you're being kind to yourself. But it's subtle to be kind to the self.

[40:18]

In some sense, it's not so difficult to have a physical sensation of a pain and be kind to that. Or see somebody else who's really excited because they feel like they can dwell on a color and be kind to them. Or even adore them while they're all excited about dwelling in a color. Or even adore them while they're all excited in a negative way about dwelling in a color. You know, like some colors people get really happy about and other colors people get you know, they feel very unhappy about. But what I'm proposing is a teaching that to dwell, to be happy because the color's this way, is dwelling in the color. And to be unhappy because the color's another way is to be dwelling in the color.

[41:19]

And to be unhappy when the color's this color, you're not free. And you're at risk of becoming frightened and pushed around by that fear because of a color because you may lose it and you may be afraid of losing it and not notice it in your joy you may not be noticing it and you also be not you may not be you may not be practicing generosity towards your happiness which again and you may not be practicing ethics with your happiness In other words, you may be happy but not being careful of your happiness. And if you're not careful of your happiness, you can become intoxicated by it. I said a color, you know, could be a color of your skin, you know, like your skin can turn a color and like people, their skin turns a color, you know, like it turns to bronze and they go, oh, great.

[42:34]

Now, people go to tanning booths to get their skin color to change, right? And then when it changes, they feel happy that it changed to that color. Right? People pay money to have their skin color changed, darker or lighter. And then they get happy when they get the color they want. So they're happy. So they have to remember the teaching that this happiness, due to this color, is at risk of being lost. Otherwise, if you don't remember that, you can become intoxicated by the color. Instead, you have the idea of, I'm healthy, and then you become happy because of that. It's okay to become happy that you're healthy. but it's also good to remember that this healthiness is at risk of changing to unhealthiness.

[43:37]

That sobers you up. Be careful. And if you're careful, that sobers you up. My granddaughter wanted, I was taking care of her and she wanted I went and got her shoes, which is an indication. She made some sounds too, but the shoes made me think that she wanted to go outside. I said, you want to go outside? And she said, yeah, something like that. And I said, well, it's kind of cold, so we should put a jacket on. So I got this red vest that I had taken to school with her. And I said, you want to wear this? She said, I don't want it. She's not quite two. She can say, I don't want it. And then so I opened the closet door and there were some other little tiny jackets in there. I said, how about this one?

[44:38]

She said, I don't want it. And I said, how about this one? And she said, yeah, yeah. Started jumping up and down. She wanted that one. And she was very happy to put it on. And she pointed out the little bicycles on it. That's the one she wanted and she was happy. I don't want to elaborate on what would have happened if that jacket was taken off and the red vest was put on. She's not able to be kind to those kinds of changes yet. So if something like that happens, it can be apparently like one of the worst possible things that could happen to a human being is to get the wrong color jacket and it's kind of funny but also not to be taken so you know you don't just take that the bicycle jacket off and put on the red one lightly because this could be very upsetting to her so I didn't have to take off the bicycle jacket so but I sensed

[45:55]

that she really didn't want to wear the red vest. One day her mother put on her and she accepted. But that's a different story. Can you talk a little bit more about the distinction between happiness and freedom? Well, again, there's a difference between happiness and freedom. I think that freedom that comes with understanding is happy. It's a happiness. But it's not the happiness because you got something. that you wanted and didn't lose something that you didn't want to lose. It's not happiness because people like you and are saying nice things about you. It's not that kind of happiness.

[46:59]

Those are to be objects of compassion. So when we are like children and get excited about getting health We should be kind to that, not be mean to ourselves about that, but be generous with that and kind with that and careful with that. And remember that this good thing, too, will pass. Remind ourselves of that so that we can be happy but not intoxicated. Because when we're intoxicated, when you're happy and intoxicated, then you sometimes do unskillful things. you sometimes do unskillful things. Not always, but... So, sometimes people get intoxicated so that they will be happy, sometimes they get happy but not intoxicated, but then they forget that the happiness is impermanent, and then they become intoxicated with a perfectly good happiness.

[48:10]

Or sometimes people see youth some, particularly adults, not just adults, adults and youth, and they see youth, and if they don't remember that youth is impermanent, when you're young if you don't remember it, or if you're older and you don't remember it, if you're a youth and you don't remember it, or you're past being youth and you don't remember it, people who see youth, who don't remember it's impermanent, can become intoxicated. Youth is not a bad thing. But being intoxicated is bad because when you're intoxicated, then you do unskillful things in relationship to youth. You do unskillful things to yourself when you're intoxicated by youth, right? And you do unskillful things when you're intoxicated by youth. You know the horror stories, right? Of what people do to young people. because they're intoxicated by their youth.

[49:14]

The abuses that happen because people see youth and feel alive, you know, they're dead, you know, and they see youth and they feel life. But they do not remember that this vitality they feel when they see the youth, or the youth which they see the beauty of, they don't remember that these are impermanent, they become intoxicated and they do something unwholesome. So this is part of being careful. And being careful is part of being kind to our mind. Because this is all mental stuff we're talking about. This is all happening in consciousness. Youth, health, life. Life. If you don't remember it's impermanent, you can get intoxicated. Life's not the problem. And even being intoxicated wouldn't be that bad except that being intoxicated makes it hard to be ethical.

[50:16]

You're trying to be ethical but your intoxication makes your fingers go all... you just... it's hard to remember how to do it. You're so agitated. By what? By forgetting to study. So I watch myself, and it's kind of subtle to watch myself, and I look to see if there's anything going on that's distracting me from studying myself. And if I find something that's distracting me, I need to take care of that with compassion so that I can come back and study myself. So basically in the study of consciousness there's basically like two parts.

[51:28]

There's the contents and the self. Or you could say there's the world and a self. Most consciousnesses have a world plus a self. And the self is often called, in English, for English speakers, the self is often called me or referred or gestured toward me. But as I often mentioned, most people do not think that there's a world plus somebody else. Most of you don't think there's a world plus me, but most of you think there's a world plus you. The world that you're aware of, that you know, is the way it appears in your mind. In your mind there's somebody there who knows it.

[52:31]

But the world is easier to see than the one who knows it. So I'm sitting on the street over there in a car which I could easily call mine. I'm sitting in a car, which I could say I was sitting in my car. I was sitting in my car. And I was trying to study myself. And I was looking at a world. A world that looked like, you know, a street with stars. I wasn't really thinking about that. It was called San Pablo. But I was looking at the dark November scene. I could see it. And I was trying to study myself.

[53:37]

And I was looking to see in the self. I was trying to do that before this class. because this class is about doing that. And I noticed that it's subtle. It's subtle to sit there and look at a street scene, which is very easy to see, out there very vividly. But this street scene was, what's the word? It was conducive. quite conducive to me studying myself because I didn't have much investment in what was going on there. Nobody was... The cars were going zoom, zoom. People were walking on the street. I was comfortable. I noticed I was quite comfortable. So I was able to actually say, now, can you study yourself? And I noticed that it was very subtle to study myself and then I'll...

[54:40]

Is there any clinging? But although it was subtle, I was somewhat successful and I could notice some clinging. And I could notice that that was not what I wished to be. I want actually to be kind to that, let that drop away and see what life is like when there is a self but no clinging to it. or what it owns. And I was blessed with a peaceful, I was physically comfortable and nobody was doing anything. Nobody said, you have to pay attention to this so I could study and tell you that it's not impossible but it's subtle. You could even say it's hard because the contents of mind, the feelings, the colors, the opinions, the resistances are actually easier to notice than the self, which is setting up the resistance.

[55:52]

But the resistances are kind of a tip-off. So when you look at the contents and you notice the resistance, the resistance is sort of halfway between the contents and the self. because the resistance is self-oriented, because this is self-conscious space, and the only thing that's resisting is this sense of self. I guess you could see people that were resisting each other, but seeing their resistance, you don't have to resist it. You could also resist their resistance. Watch them play and not resist it. Does that make sense? And then you can also notice that when they're play of resisting each other, you have resistance to it. That's coming back to you. So the difficult thing is to turn it around and notice in the consciousness.

[57:02]

And in consciousness there is a self and that's where the problems are and that's where we have to apply the teachings. Yes, Dick? Did you say distance? Resistance? To try to do something with what you... Yeah. Yeah. Like when I was looking at the scene, San Pablo there, I was not trying to do anything with it. So I didn't know. So it's hard to find the self when there's no resistance. So where's the resistance? So I looked, you know, and you can't necessarily find it. It's not always like sticking out there and showing a self to you. Your job is hard to do sometimes.

[58:02]

This subtle job of this wisdom meditation is hard to do. And when it's easy to do, in the sense that the resistance is vividly out there, then it, although it's easy to see the resistance and then know that that's coming from self-attachment, that also is easy to study. So when you're looking and you can't find it, it's hard to, you can't find it. When you're looking and it's subtle, it's subtle. When it's gross, it tends to turn you away from it. So this is part of the difficulty. If suddenly I was really concerned with how fast people were driving on the street and thought I could keep watching myself at that time, it would be hard. Not impossible, but hard. I might have said, amazing, suddenly I'm concerned with the driving behavior. And I might even notice that nothing changed. I just... That's the change.

[59:03]

Their behavior was the same. Sometimes you watch things and you watch things and there's no involvement and then gradually you start to feel involved. Like somebody says, what do you think about this? You say, I think that would be good. And they say, oh. And then you say, what about that? And you say, well, that would be better. And then it goes on and on and you say, actually, that would be a lot better. And suddenly you notice there's a big charge on it. Now you notice this agitation is coming up. You don't know for sure, but maybe this agitation and embarrassment, etc., are coming because suddenly I got involved in this opinion. which when it first arose, I thought it was a little better than that, but that was it. And then when the charge built up, it built up because I got attached to that, and that got attached to me.

[60:09]

And suddenly now I'm holding a lightning bolt in my hand. And everything I do in relationship to that opinion with other people will shock them. And they won't even know what I'm saying, although they just feel the shock of the charge of my abiding. But if you watch, if you turn around and watch, it's possible that the whole charge and the opinion will still be there, and the other opinion will still be there, but there's no charge. And then they can function like the cars passing on San Pablo again. Clearly observe there's a self in consciousness. All the time there's a self. If the self goes away, the consciousness goes away. However your life doesn't go away,

[61:11]

It's just that the consciousness goes away and your subconscious will take care of you just fine like it does in deep sleep or in a coma. But Fred's not in a coma. Fred has a conscious mind just like we do. And in his conscious mind there was a moment there. There was a moment where there was no body conscious. There was a self and there was no abiding to it. And he had a whole new life which he called interesting and it lasted for longer than maybe he's ever told me that he ever had experienced like that before. Before it was like a little flicker of that. This time it lasted for a while. So before we get the big diagnosis, which maybe shocks us into this good place, we can cultivate this state of non-resistance mind, which doesn't mean to eliminate consciousness because there's no contents to consciousness when there's no self.

[62:27]

But there can be a self, and there can be consciousness, and there can be no abiding, and this is the mind that realizes enlightenment. Okay, we'll start with that question next time. Why is it so popular? Okay? Help me remember. Help me remember. Okay? Thank you very much.

[63:09]

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