Tonight we will probably have a ceremony to celebrate and remember the historical Buddha becoming the way. This is the seventh day of our session, our final session during this practice period. Can you hear me okay? And... Can you hear me okay?

[01:06]

And usually on the seventh day of the of the December session in Zen, usually we sit up after nine o'clock. Nine o'clock is kind of a traditional time to end the sittings and sessions, and then further sittings after that are encouraged and traditional. So it's okay with me if you want to sit all night tonight. Tomorrow's the day off, so if you can't stay awake during the day, it's okay with me. So some of us may sit up for a while tonight, and that would be a Zen tradition. in the standard observances of the Sotov school, it says, if you're not able in your temple to do a seven-day seshin, at least have a one-day seshin all night.

[02:27]

So the announcement has been made, and the invitations will be printed today. This robe was given to me about 15 years ago and I never wore it at Zen Center until today. Wearing it may be controversial but I feel this robe should be worn someday rather than be in a box its whole life. And now it's out in the world It's probably quite old. If you look closely at it, you'll see it's all tattered and has been repaired a lot.

[03:33]

It has a backing on it to hold it together. It's really quite fragile. But it's very happy to finally be worn in this monastery. I don't know if there's 108 Buddhas on here, but they do actually look like ladies. Because they all have hairdos. They're not just, you know, shaved head Buddhas. They're They're Buddhas with hairdos and dresses. Which reminds me of a story which maybe I'll tell and maybe I won't. And I just want to say there's a lot of stories and a lot of things, about 10 million things, which I would like to talk to you about.

[04:47]

But I don't know if I'll have time. When Dogen Zenji was dying, he said to his wonderful disciple, Tetsugikai, there are 10 million things about the Buddha Dharma which I have not yet fully realized or understood. But still, I have the joy of correct faith. And there's 10 million things for me too, which I joyfully aspire to study and learn and share. Someone said to me in the Doksan room, I'm sorry to hear that your health is fragile.

[06:06]

And then she said, maybe when you get back to Green Gulch, I don't know what, you'll be able to better take care of yourself or something like that. And I said, maybe. But when I get back to Green College, my health will also be fragile. And then he said, well, is there something wrong is something other than your leg?" And I said, no, there is nothing wrong. My leg is not wrong, but it's fragile. This leg broke when my bicycle and me crashed into the cement in Houston, Texas 15 or 16 years ago.

[07:16]

Smashed. Crash. Broken femur. And then there was an operation to put the bone back together and I was doing physical therapy and the physical therapist says, referred to this right leg as my bad leg. And I said, this is not my bad leg. This is my sweet dear leg. incredibly devoted servant. This leg has worked so happily and hard for 58 years. This is my great leg. And he said, oh, thank you. I'll try to remember that. This is not my bad leg. This is my fragile leg. And then there's one over here, which is also fragile. I have two fragile legs. Not three, two.

[08:17]

I have a fragile arm on the right and the left. If the right one don't get you, then the left one will. I have a fragile heart. It's not a bad heart. It's a fragile heart. I have a fragile brain. It's not a bad brain, it's a fragile brain. I have fragile teeth. I have fragile eyes. I have fragile ears. I already said I had fragile teeth, right? I got fragile. My body is fragile. It's not bad. It's such a great servant to the way. It supported me to practice this way for almost 50 years.

[09:26]

I'm so grateful to this body. I'm so blessed to have this body, which is fragile. Also just, you know, this is the daily news. This is the daily news. Oh, I'm sorry that your health is fragile. That's the daily news. Or someone else says, during this practice period I have become so soft. Zazen is a great tenderizer. It makes us It helps us accept fragility and become soft and tender. And when the person told me that he had become much softer or very soft, I didn't feel bad.

[10:32]

I felt good that he was becoming soft. And I thought of, Dogen Zenji asking his teacher, what is the bodhisattva's soft, tender, flexible mind? Probably he read about it in a Mahayana Sutra. Bodhisattvas have soft, tender, flexible mind and body. What is that? He asked his teacher. And Ru Jing said, that soft mind is the willingness, the readiness for body and mind to drop off. Maybe if you have an indestructible body, your indestructible body may feel like, we ain't dropping off here. This is like holding together.

[11:32]

We got this together here, and it's going to stay that way, and no dropping off. But if you've got a soft, fragile body, maybe like, okay, ready to drop? Yep, let's go. So again, you know now that I think and I'm trying to accept that I have a fragile body. Also, I also feel like an old workhorse. And being in this practice period, I feel like I'm an old workhorse and I got a harness on and I'm pulling this practice period. and I'm very happy to just pull it along. And I'm not the only workhorse here. We've got other workhorses.

[12:34]

But I'm in harness, and it's hard to pull this practice period, but I'm very joyful to be doing this work. But sometimes it's really hard. It has been hard. Today it wasn't so hard to pull the practice period from the abbot's room over to this Dharma Hall. But sometimes that walk has been very hard for me. It's been like, ugh, ugh, ugh. But I came, and so did you. So some of the workhorses here are not so old and some are older. And I'm an old one and I'm a happy one. Wearing a mini Buddha robe. So yesterday, I think, Myo-Ten Son said, well, the pearl is rolling in the bowl.

[14:11]

The pearl is rolling in the bowl on itself. What's the bowl? And I said, let's meditate on it. And he did meditate on it. And I meditate on it. And now, today, I would suggest the bowl is the whole universe. I thought that yesterday, but I wanted to wait a while. I still felt good about the bowl being the whole universe. Well, what's the pearl again? Remember what the pearl is? It's the whole universe. The pearl's the whole universe rolling on itself, and it's rolling on the bowl. The universe is rolling on the universe. The whole universe is joyfully rolling on the whole universe. The whole universe, of course, contains the whole universe.

[15:13]

And the whole universe is working the whole universe. The whole universe is an old workhorse. Some people say it's 14 billion years old. Is that the latest estimate? It's an old workhorse. It doesn't seem to be tired. At least certain sections are still white hot. And this turning of the universe in the universe is moon-faced Buddha, sun-faced Buddha. This is the great bodhisattva, Matsu. This is the great Buddha, Shakyamuni. This is each of us. Each person is the whole universe, rolling on the whole universe. Each person is enacting the reality of giving, including everything in the universe.

[16:25]

And it's difficult for us sometimes to walk from one place to another. And sometimes we cannot see giving. Sometimes what we see is murder. We see cruelty. We see insanity. We see horror. These things are gifts to us to look at and listen to until we can see the truth and show others. People call over the hill, away from this monastery, they call that the real world. They think this is not the real world. This is like, I don't know what this is. But I don't think this is more the real world than over the mountain.

[17:27]

I think every place in the universe is the center of the universe. And I am trying to understand that. I believe that and I'm trying to realize that. And having an acceptance of a fragile body makes me more willing to let my body drop off and let my mind drop off so that I can open to the revelation of the truth of generosity, to the truth of not killing, to the truth of not stealing, to the truth of not misusing sexuality. not to stop myself from killing, but to wake up to the perfect wisdom which understands that not killing is the Buddha.

[18:34]

The Buddha is not killing life. And if I see killing, I have an opportunity to look with a fragile mind and a soft mind and let body and mind drop off to understand, and to be free. But being free is not the point of Buddhism for me. It's just getting my work papers. Buddhism is not about liberation. It's about helping others. And liberation is liberation from resistance to that wonderful work, Buddha's work. Great compassion is the Buddha's work. Liberation is part of it. Liberation is a great skill and means.

[19:39]

Nirvana is very useful to bodhisattvas. It's a nice thing for them to give away and let go of. They attain nirvana very easily. and they give it away easily and enter the world to teach people to relax and drop off body and mind and teach others. They teach people the pearl rolling in the bowl. And one more example of this is Bodhidharma's teacher, Prajnatara Dayosho was invited to a vegetarian feast by an Indian Raj.

[20:42]

And it is traditional at that time, and still is, to invite Buddhist monks to lunch. And afterwards, they reciprocate the kindness by reciting the the holy dharma for their hosts and hostesses. Anyway, he ate the lunch, but he didn't recite the sutra. And the king said, Master, why don't you recite scriptures? And Prajnatar said, this poor wayfarer, when breathing in, does not dwell in the five aggregates. When breathing out does not dwell in the 18 elements of existence. In other words, I don't dwell in body and mind breathing in. I don't dwell in body, mind breathing out. Breathing in, body and mind drops off.

[21:45]

Breathing out, body and mind drops off. I always recite this scripture. I'm reciting it right now. and Tiantong Hongzhi, celebrating this teaching by Prajnatara, used the phrase, in the subtle round mouth of the pivot, the spiritual work turns. In the pivot between exhale and inhale, in that pivot, the subtle round mouth of the pivot, the spiritual work turns there. In the subtle round mouth of the pivot between thinking and not thinking, between self and other, that's where the spiritual work is.

[22:51]

in that intense place at the center of the universe where everything's turning on everything. That's where the spiritual work is, according to some people. In the subtle round mouth of the conversation, the spiritual work turns. the conversation between self and other, the conversation between body and mind, the conversation between mind and objects, the conversation between Buddhas and sentient beings, the conversation between nirvana and samsara. We're already there,

[23:54]

we have an opportunity to enjoy it now. Thank you very much for putting the harness on the old horse. I wouldn't have been able to get it on myself. It's been a great joy for me to pull with you, to pull this practice period through birth and death. My thanks will never end. So, thank you very much. You'll be hearing more from me. Maybe. Is that enough for today?

[25:12]

Oh, a visitor's coming. Chikido was invited to sit here so he can see your faces and read your lips. He's having trouble hearing. Our conversation yesterday... Would you speak up please, Robin?

[26:19]

Our conversation yesterday was pretty incoherent. And today I would like to offer some coherence. Can you hear him? Great. You're welcome to offer some coherence. So one of the things this practice period that has really resonated with me is the teaching that we're not really in control. And it's been something that I found to be very helpful.

[27:24]

And yesterday, it was a strange experience to find myself standing up and to be walking. I wasn't sure where I was going really, but then I was waiting back there and I was kind of excited because I wasn't really sure what was going to happen next. I didn't have a question and I wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen, but I was enjoying that and it was kind of wonderful. And I came here and I sat down And I still didn't know what was going to happen. And then I knocked on the door. And then someone answered. And then I desperately grasped for control.

[28:33]

Oh. LAUGHTER Like the chickens getting back into the cages. You were free for a while. Yeah. And then you couldn't stand it anymore and wanted to get control again. Maybe. I think that was a... Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure either. Yeah. Well, I think I felt like I handed you the trap and said, you know, and then you opened it for me, pulled inside, and then rattled the cane desperately. And, yeah, I felt like, Well, I felt kind of funny afterwards, actually, because at that moment, I wasn't really able to meet what was happening fully.

[29:38]

And I wasn't so much caring about what was happening. It was that there was a betrayal of being there fully and sitting down. in the seat that I was in. And so I guess my question is, it feels as though this letting go of the idea that we have control requires a degree of... of confidence, or perhaps it's faith or trust, but it's some, I think, deep sense that what's going to unfold next is okay. It's meant to be that way. And so when things unfold

[30:44]

That way, and then we, you know, when we let go, but then we find ourselves deciding just as we're falling that we crowd back on and then we fall on our head. How are we to develop trust in this? This is a big question. Even though you may not be conscious of it, I think you did trust by allowing yourself to come up the way you did. In a sense, you trusted it for a little while. Yeah, of course. But if I'd never gotten out, it... Well, that's not... The point is that I awoke or fell back asleep, whatever it was, at that moment when I re-grasped the control and found myself...

[31:58]

I was just like, hold on a minute. I'm sitting in this middle of this room and I don't have a question. And this guy up there is sort of asking me to speak. And I did this knocking thing. So I guess I'll just keep doing that because I don't really know what else. Yeah, I understand. So you're asking me how do we work with... a situation where part of us is kind of considering maybe letting go of trying to control, and then sometimes it seems to happen. It seems like some control, some attempt to control has been let go of. We're alive, and there's not a strong sense of get control again for a while. And then the implications of that start to dawn on us Right. And then we say, well, maybe there's enough of this. And where's the control lever?

[33:00]

Where's the controls? And we go for it again. And so that process, if we do it over and over, it gets more familiar. Say, hey, I think some letting go is happening. And here comes the implications. And I'm tolerating it for a little while. And now I'm losing it. And so here it comes. I'm trying to get control again, and now I've got control, but now I'm back in the cage. Lesson two. Then again, here it is again. There's some letting go, and actually I'm tolerating it a little longer this time. Here it comes. Here it comes. And I'm being kind to, here it comes again. Here's that guy who, here comes that guy that just doesn't trust that he can let go of control. Okay, let him grab the controls again. But even as he goes for it, I can still remember that I think I'm going to try, I'm going to pray that I get another chance to let go.

[34:11]

And really, every night, for a little while, we let go. Yeah. For a moment there, we're kind of like, we don't watch ourself go to sleep. We watch and then we let go and we don't see it and we go to sleep. And we wake up and here's the unknown again and we watch ourselves tolerate it for a little while and then we make the unknown known. Over and over. And so by being mindful of this process, we will be able to go further and further, longer and longer in this place of having given up trying to control and dealing with the world that is given to us when we're not trying to control. And then we get to see what it's like to be here in this world. And again, when the controls come back in, we press on the pulse and don't feel it anymore. And we're a little bit sorry about that.

[35:15]

We feel like we've betrayed our life by trying to get control of it. But there's another chance will come, just like today. You came up here again. Again, again, again. We keep practicing this, and we'll get better at staying present. Even when the attempt to control happens, we'll be able to, like, Somebody's trying to control and also somebody's, or not even somebody, somebody's trying to control and there's clearly observing this sweet guy who's trying to get control of the universe. Yeah, I know how that is. Yeah, mm-hmm. And see how it works? Yeah, that's good, you saw that. But, you know, over and over you're going to see this is going to happen again and again as the understanding of the self dash the power center demonstrates its thing.

[36:20]

And yeah, it's going to be like longer, more frequent and longer tolerance of, well, one of the great types of patience is called the patient acceptance that things don't happen. you'll be able to stand more and more of that. The patient acceptance that things are not arising and ceasing. Arising and ceasing is actually coming from the control center. There's no arising and ceasing. Whoa, is that going to be okay? How much longer can I be here with no arising and ceasing? Whoa, okay, now somebody's had it. Okay. But it was great to be there for a while in an unborn mind. and I want to come visit again. And from that unborn mind is where the Buddha's appropriate response comes up.

[37:23]

But it's hard to sit there in the unborn because anything can happen. I think what... what I think to the moment when It was in your expression. Yeah, when you saw my face. And I think that what I struggle with is that I understand myself through the reflection I see in those around me. And so it's almost... Yeah, it's almost a fear of kind of losing grip on when people are like, whoa, whoa.

[38:26]

It's like a fear of losing grip, yeah. So when you give up control, then the fear of losing grip will come. Not always, but sometimes. And when you see the fear in other people's eyes just a little bit. Yeah. So you maybe saw a little fear in my eyes. Maybe. Could his face be frightened? Could he be afraid of me? I didn't expect that he would be afraid of me. I thought I would be afraid of him or what, but is he afraid of me? Wow. Could that be? Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, don't we use those around us to understand ourselves? I hope. I mean, well, I wouldn't say we use it. I would just say that's the way we understand ourselves is by using others to understand us. So that's the way we understand. We understand ourselves through the other. Yes. But then the way the other is teaching us sometimes, we say, it's enough of that. Thank you. So I went to Suzuki Roshi to have him help me understand myself.

[39:32]

And he was helping me. And I said, thank you. I don't want to take any more of your time. And he said, no, it's okay, you can stay. I wanted to get away from this person who was helping me. It's so intense when somebody is not just there with you, but they're teaching you who you are. That's like, could we go to a little less intense place, please? Like, away from your face? So now... I'm going to leave Tassajara, I guess, and I'm going to go see my wife. And I really want to see her. And when I see her, I'll probably look at her and then say, I'm going to go check the mail. I traveled 160 miles to see you. I really want to see you. I'm so devoted to you. And excuse me, I'm going to go see her. This is too much for me to bear. But maybe I won't.

[40:34]

Maybe I'll be able to stay there with her for a while. The face is, in one sense, when we see it, it makes us want to get control. In another sense, the face is saying, it's both saying, this is really intense and we're kind of like, oh, I've got to control this situation. The other side of the face is saying, would you please just give up control and love me? So in one sense, the face makes us want to get control. Not makes us want to, but the impulse to control comes when we see the face. On the other side, the face is saying, would you let go? It's pivoting between scary and relaxing. We need the face to relax, and we need the face, not need the face, and the face scares us. Scares us away from the very thing we want and the very thing it wants for us.

[41:38]

It's really something, this situation of our life. But the other is our only way to become free of self is with the help of others. And it's really a hard way. If I could free myself, it might be a lot easier, but that's not the way it is. Can I come closer?

[42:48]

Yes, you're welcome to come closer. I'm just afraid I'm never going to see this robe again. It's got dragons. It's got dragons down here. It's got phoenixes over here. See the phoenixes? Yeah. Dragons and phoenixes around it. It's like the most awesome kushai I've ever seen. I just, I got out of Oryoki, I was going to my room, and I just, I remembered this quote of the Suzuki Roshi, which was, I can't give you anything but my Zen spirit. And I really feel like that's what you've, you know, if you've given anything, this is what you've given to, you know, I can say for myself, but yeah, that's what you've given to me.

[44:00]

It's just this Zen spirit that's not... that's totally expressive and artistic and musical, actually. And I feel like this place, it's like I've had to do not music, not music, not music, not music. And then everything It's all becoming like music now. Like in the kitchen, I hear, I listen to all the sounds and I can hear which pitch they're at and I hear rhythms and it's really cool. It's totally awesome. I'm just sitting in this robe, this top is great.

[45:07]

And another thing is, I remember hearing this story of I was at Green Gulch and someone was talking to me about Brian Clark and then like anyways it was like Brian Clark's mom was concerned that he wasn't having enough fun so then Brian came to you and then you were like oh you didn't come here to have fun did you or something but yeah so like that's just been like a con for me because I think Like I've had the most fun in this practice period. It's really kind of weird. I don't know how staring at a wall could be so fun. I think it's the people that make it fun. Like Bodhidharma, he made it fun for 1500 years.

[46:19]

Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Not so easy sitting here.

[47:30]

Don't you see gold under the hammer, refined a hundred times? First of all, I want to bring my gratitude for your teaching. Yeah, my gratitude for your teachings, your wonderful teachings we receive, and my gratefulness for your warm-hearted way to be with us. And secondly, I want to... I have to confess something. Yesterday I had some thoughts with Greg. When he was up saying... he probably can't do Aoyuki anymore. And then I thought, oh man, come on. You are such a wonderful soko. Why not carrying pots can be that heavy? Shouldn't have thought that, but that brought me to some other point in my life.

[48:33]

I had an experience in in Japan in a monastic place. And we were working on the rice fields. And about 10 people, maybe, half Western and half Japanese people. And the rice fields were some concrete bazaar next to each other to keep the water for the rice. And in the middle, there was maybe a three foot wide path And one of the basins was leaking, and we had to dig out the path to the very bottom where they had huge bamboo tubes lying for drainage. And that was really hard work. That was this clay-type mud, really sticky. And after two hours, I thought, well, I have enough of that. I don't want to end up in some Kyoto hospital with my disc stick out. And I went to the dojo, was working on the field, and he was driving a Caterpillar.

[49:40]

And I said, I can do this. And he said, okay, go to the kitchen. And I left. And after the work period, in the changing room, when we put our robes on, the head monk came up to me, a Japanese guy, and he started yelling at me and screaming, what do you think, leaving the workplace without my permission? What do you think, blah, blah, blah. And I was, oh, my God, what's going on? And I told him I had back pain, and he said, you can die here and it would be the best you can have in your life. I said, wait a minute, I don't want to die here. And I really had to stand up against him because I thought next time he slaps me and tell him I asked Satojo to leave and then he goes like, okay, you asked Satojo, was gone.

[50:45]

And Much time later, when I was home, I realized I was not really true with it. Like, I didn't have really back pain not to be able to work for one hour, one and a half hour more. It was like my mind was giving me on the spot some good way to exit. having this story about the hospital in Kyoto and how this would blow up my budget going in there. And so I realized I wasn't about that. There was some Trying to sneak away from the work I didn't like all the time. These two hours I was thinking, this is not work for me. This is too much. This is something for a machine. So like this trench was like this wide and we stand till here in the trench and you had to dig like this and with your hands and really, really horrible.

[51:53]

And yeah, easily, you could hurt yourself. And that made me think about how I relate to work, how I do my work. And even much more later, I realized that it's like that I have this resistance towards working things. And then all of a sudden, I realized something had changed. When I'm out here in this place, I work like, you said the word, like a horse and go into it and have a lot of fun with it. Like, I just give everything and there's a reservoir of energy and I don't know how big it is, and I don't care for it, and you just go into this, and some people say, hey, it's not about speed, working here, and I say, yeah, it's okay, it's okay, you go to your pace, and I go mine, and I worked like this, and that was, yeah, like realizing what this monk said to me by saying, you can die here,

[53:06]

made me realize that this fear to die is the same fear to touch work. It's the same fear that hinders me to be free, to be realized, realizing there's this work, there's this action, this... rolling action and there's someone who observes it with a lot of fun and there's no uh if if i give this pressure in it's it's like it seems to me uh there's no path breath of space for my mind coming up with hey might hurt yourself hey Do you work more than the others? Why like this? And that was a very interesting experience. And I still bow to this head monk really deeply and sometimes wish, why didn't he slap me?

[54:15]

pivot on the spot in this place. And that were the thoughts when I thought about this talk with Greg, that every one of us has its own way to live things. And Yeah. Yeah. That I want to bring up. Congratulations. Maybe you have some suggestions for me. I do have a suggestion for you. Not really a suggestion. It's a request. I have a request. Please continue to practice Zen. Do I have a chance to do something else? Seeing you in this robe? No way. So are you saying, yes, I will? Yes, I will. Thank you. Be careful.

[55:43]

So, ow, I'll definitely do Soku another time. My serving crew, all you guys. Awesome. I couldn't have asked for a better crew. But this young workhorse is having memory problems from the other day, in case you can't tell. Still missing things because of the memory problems. And... I'm getting these, like, super annoying, unhelpful looks from the Tonto with these, like, weird passive-aggressive chuckles. And I'm wondering, should I bow out for my other Doan jobs? You're wondering about it? Yeah. I would suggest talk to the Tonto about that. And talk to the Tonto and Eno about whether... The Eno supports me. Yeah. We'll see if the Tonto does, too. And then if he does, see if I do. Chain of command? A chain of letting go of control. I'll be the last one to let you go.

[57:08]

I mean, I want to do them. I'm just wondering. If you want to. Well, yes, I'd like to do these, but I understand I'm having some problems, and can you support me, even though I've had me some problems? And so he said, you know, says, yes, I understand you're having problems, but I do support you. See if Tonto supports you. And actually, you don't have to check with me. If they support you, I support you. If they don't, then we should probably consider not. But if you're willing, that's great. And you're also willing to admit you're having some challenges, that's great. And if they support you, it will be great. I remember one time there was an idea for Eson Dorsey to be director of the city center. And I questioned that because he couldn't remember anything. But people said, well, we'll support him. And every time anybody said anything to me, he wrote it down because he couldn't remember anything.

[58:11]

So he wrote down what people said. And he was a great director. So if you're having some memory problems, we can work with that. And good thing is you're aware of it and not trying to hide it. So that helps us a lot, help you. So we can get through this together, even though we have to make some adjustments and make sure we have support. Why does the egocentric self get so annoyed at the weird looks he gives me? Because the egocentric self is basically the will to be in control of the universe. And you'd like him to be smiling all the time at you. Anyway, you'd like him to be just the way you want him to be. Of course. Yeah, that's the egocentric self. You want him to not smile too much or too little. You want him to smile just the way you want him to smile. No, not that way. This way. And you're a little bit upset that you don't have complete control over the tanto. That is the self.

[59:13]

We call that will to be God. That's the self. That's its thing. Control, control, control. When it comes up, when the egocentric self comes up, and you're saying, like, you know, stop controlling, let go. No, I didn't say stop controlling. I said, you're not controlling. You don't have to stop. You're not. I was saying, let go of trying to. Let go of the unreasonable intention to control, basically. Get things to be just the way you want them. Let go of that. And the way to let go of it is to be very kind to that very impulse. If you be kind to the self, the self will eventually say, okay, we can drop off body and mind. But without kindness, it's just going to get more and more fierce about trying to control. And there can be more and more pain and horror shows as people try to get control of these people.

[60:20]

Yeah, you once told me that it's easy to be mean. It's not easy to be nice. It's easy to be mean. It's not easy to be generous, careful, patient, diligent, and calm. That's not easy. But that's the Bodhisattva way. Yeah, nice robe. A little small, though. Maybe just write for you. I'm very interested in the use of the present moment to heal and liberate the past.

[61:44]

I heard it said, I just wanted to make sure I heard it right, is that the present moment contains the entire past? The present fully includes past and future and is independent of them. That's the thing, that it's also independent. Is that a pivot, that it's completely independent as well as contains it? Yep, that's a pivot. We are not eternally, what's the word, controlled and damned by our past karma. There's a way to relate to our present karma that liberates the past karma. I love that teaching. And the pivot will be a surprise.

[63:00]

If you're relaxed and then the surprise comes, it heals the past. You spoke about if there was an abused child, you wouldn't tell the abused child that reality was giving its gifts, but that you would tell the grown woman so she could be liberated. the grown woman, I might ask her if she wants to look at this koan, if she wants to bring compassion to it. And if she does? then we would compassionately observe this story, this story of deep wounding. And as a way of looking at that, which heals the past story, the past coherent story, causal story, that can be healed.

[64:04]

not getting rid of it, but realize it's a story, and that story can turn. And that's what that story was about. It's been waiting all these years to be turned, and now we can turn it. Just like the story of the wild fox. He told the story of how he became, of the way he handled something. And he came to somebody and said, would you please turn this story for me? And he turned the story, using the story to turn it together in the present. And then the past is liberated. You're welcome. Thank you for listening to the teachings. I can't seem to remember that on that seat I'm in the center of the universe.

[65:59]

I associate this seat with something like that, and I'm desperate for it. Think about it. Probably half this machine, like, what am I going to ask you from this seat? How can I relate to this desperation in a helpful way? When you say healthy, do you mean like a Buddha would? Sure. Like a skillful, compassionate, wise person, how they would? Yeah, well, the example of the Buddha is sit in the middle of the desperation. Upright.

[67:02]

And not just that desperation, but all the desperation in the universe. Sit in the middle of it and sit upright and open to it. And the skillful... Did you use skillful or what? No, skillful works. Yeah, the skillful response comes when you take your seat, which is in the center of all desperation. The Buddha does not push away, does not manipulate or push away that desperation at all, doesn't try to turn it down or turn it up. The Buddha just lets this desperation be this one, lets that desperation be that one, lets this pain, lets this fear, lets it be. And then the appropriate response comes, the skillful, The inappropriate means appropriate to helping other people take their seat at the center of all desperation.

[68:10]

Starting with sitting within this one? Always this one, yeah. This is your seat. This is your dharma position. And from here, you will discover that past and future are included and liberated. But it's hard to take the seat in the middle of desperation or even in the middle of fun and excitement. It's hard to be settled in the middle of our life, which is where we are. It's hard to be settled being, in your case, this person. It's hard for me to be settled being this person. But that's the harness we put on. It's from here. that we pull along all beings on the Buddha way. And it's the hardest job just for you to be there at the center of your life. That's your hardest job, and that is your job.

[69:12]

And if you try to get away, then we practice compassion with trying to get away. Sit in the middle of trying to escape. And every now and then, see the unique breeze of reality. And, oh, how nice, and I want to get out of here. I feel the golden whip on the fourth horse. I'm for sure the fourth horse. Every Sushina proves it. And I'm okay with it. I've gotten to the point I'm okay with it. But I've got to get whipped so consistently. Yeah. You mean you're being whipped into taking your Dharma position? With the whips coming to help you be here? Yes. Yeah. So, fortunately or unfortunately, we don't have sessions all the time.

[70:16]

But probably, if a session was long enough, you probably would find they completely settle. But they're not long enough. So your settling is temporary. Right. I feel like I just disappeared as in, like, in life, in the motions. When I'm sitting over here, I'm just like a mess, like a complete, you know, fidgeting, bumbling, jumbling, crazy creek of craziness. Yeah. And when I come up here, I feel like I'm myself, sort of. I feel like I can work with you and I can work with the people. Yeah. But over there on that island of torture, I... I mean, perhaps I'll get a moment of dropping away and then it's back to the... So, you know, Dogen says there's two aspects of Zen. One aspect is meeting with the teacher and getting help settling here and then go to the island of torture and see if you can continue.

[71:22]

And if you can't, come back to the teacher. And if you think... Some people think they're on the island of paradise and they're supposed to also go see the teacher... You get sick of me. If I had to check in with you. If I get sick of you, then my job is to sit in the middle of being sick of you. You can say, are you sick of me? And I say, well, yeah. And then you can say, are you resisting it? And I say, well, sort of. And you can say, well, get over it. Settle down and you're being sick of me. But even if I do get sick of you, you ask me... If I'm sick of you and if I say yes, you say, and are you committed to like sit in the middle of that being sick? And I will say yes, because I am. I'm in the middle of sitting in the middle of sickness and old age and death and birth. I'm committed to that. Do I sometimes get sick of it?

[72:23]

Well, I just said, I sit in the middle of being sick. That's where I sit. So yes, I'm sick. But sick, I don't vow to be sick. I vow to sit in the middle of being sick. Am I sick? Yes. Am I old? Yes. Am I dying? Yes. What's your vow? What's my vow? Yes. Yes. My vow is, yes, thank you very much, sickness. Thank you very much, old age, sickness, and death. Thank you. I'm here for you. I go down into the Green Dragon cave for you. And that's great. And now go do it over there without me looking in your face telling you and reminding you back and forth. Just sit, go see the teacher. Just sit, go see the teacher. Go see the teacher, just sit. Round and round.

[73:25]

Don't try to get the teacher to do it for you, and also don't think you can do it by yourself. Like Linji thought, I'm doing fine by myself. I don't have to go see Wang Bo. I'm cool. This is great here. He had one of those islands of bliss. And so then the great hen monk says, go see Wang Bo. He got exiled from the island of bliss and he didn't like it. But he got over that and he found his place with a lot of help. Jim won't slap me or jab me or nothing. I got to, like, use your words as jabs. Sometimes I don't know if that's enough. But either way, sorry, people. No more for me. Yeah, okay, great. You're welcome.

[74:39]

Congratulations on another practice period. I have 10 million questions to ask you, but I'll say both the assembly and you, most of them. I have a question about the pivot, whether the pivot means, is it like a, the word doesn't seem like it says this, but I'm curious. It's not like a flickering, where it's like on, off, on, off, on, off. It's more like on, not on.

[75:44]

On, not on. On is really not on, and not on is really on. The way each of them is is that they're a pivot. I guess in a moment, though, it feels like I see just the old woman, or I see just the young woman. Yeah, that's right. Does coherence... is there can't be coherence without surrounding incoherence. There can't be the young woman without not the young woman. So the on can't be there without simultaneously not on. But when the on's on, that's coherent and the not on is incoherent. Or the on's the foreground and the not on's the background. But there couldn't be a foreground without a background. And we know both, but we know them in different ways.

[76:49]

And the foreground can shift into the background and something in the background can become the foreground. And that's going on all the time. I guess, yeah, I just say sometimes it sounds like separate. Yeah, I think that people might think that birth and death or on and off are separate, that thinking and not thinking are separate, but they're simultaneous. Inquiry and response come up together. It's difficult to understand. It's difficult to understand how your practice is other people's practice. But that's the teaching. Thank you. I guess one of the personal questions that this arrives out of for me is this question of contact with the universal.

[78:08]

Will you say it again, please? I guess my inquiry has a root in a personal question, which is about how... Do you want to ask the personal question? Yeah. Okay. It's about, like... It's weird. In this moment, the language of Zen is kind of difficult for me, but it's like, if I were to ask it in a language that I didn't grow up with, it suddenly resonates with me. Like, how do you live in full contact with God, or living in God, with God, for God, without it being separate? Well, without it being separate? What's it? God, emptiness. How do you live with God without God being separate? Yeah. How do you live with other people without being separate? Do you want to ask that question?

[79:13]

Yeah, I do. So the way you live with people without being separate is to be kind to people and kind to the feeling of or the idea that you're separate. If you're kind to the idea of being separate, you'll be willing, you'll be ready to let that drop away. And then you'll be with people free of the idea that you're separate from them. And being free with people and being free of the idea that they're separate is liberation from suffering. And then you can go to work for the people because you're not caught up in all this affliction and fear that comes from believing that you're separate.

[80:17]

I have one other request. I've had this Short song in my heart since the first session that I wanted to offer, but I wanted to ask for somebody's permission, just so I thought if I didn't ask, I would have some kind of ghost hanging around me. Did you ask? Yeah, may I sing a very short one? Are you up for singing a song? Pardon? I didn't hear a resounding yes. I'm glad you asked because now you don't have that ghost. One person wants to hear it. Anybody else want to hear it? The votes are coming in. We're up to three. Will the people who didn't vote for it tolerate it?

[81:28]

Yes. Okay, looks like you can go for it with this vote. It's good that you asked, though. How long is this song, by the way? It's very short. How long would you say, approximately? Less than a minute. Less than a minute? 30 seconds. Okay, let's do it then. Okay. Ready. Ready. Like the beep, beep, beep of a time drone when the jungle shadows fall. Like the tick, tick, tock of the stately clock as it stands against the wall. Like the drip, drip, drip of the raindrops when the summer shies right through. So a voice within me keeps repeating you, you, you. Night and day, you are the one. Only you beneath the moon and under the sun. Whether near to me or far, it's no matter.

[82:30]

But I'm where you are, I think of you. Night and day, day and night, under the heart of me, there's an oh such a sincere yearning burning inside of me. And this torment won't be through till you let me spend my life sitting down with you. Night and day, day and night. Thank you for the song and the singing of it. Two days ago, I was sitting on this SESA bench over here, and I think it was Greg Benzo was talking to you, and my legs started talking to me.

[84:25]

And they said, if you do this to us again, we aren't going to show up for work anymore. So yesterday, I got up to ask you a question. And Greg was over there again. And after a while, my legs said, mission accomplished. Came back. But I did have something going in my mind to ask or say. About five days ago, a southern proverb appeared in my mind, which I thought described at least my first three and a half years of nursing, for sure, but also maybe my first 20 years of practicing medicine. And that saying goes, when you're up to your ass in alligators, it's pretty hard to remember you went in there to rain the swamp. I have no idea what he's saying.

[85:36]

When you're up to your what? When you're up to your ass. When you have alligators all around you? It's hard to remember that you went into the swamp to drain it. Some people sometimes drain swamps. They pump the water out. So you go in to pump the water out, and then the alligators come, and you forget that you actually had another job to do. So like, you know, when you're taking care of people and then the alligators come, you sometimes forget about taking care of people and just think about the alligators. Make sense? Yeah, you're welcome. So Greg's trying to help people in the hospital as a nurse, and then a bunch of alligators come in, and it's hard to remember taking care of the people. And sometimes the alligators might be the administrators. Yeah, documentation alligator.

[86:38]

Yeah, yeah. Rushing is a big alligator. Faster is a big alligator. Yeah. Yeah. But also in the 70s and 80s, I remember a lot about sitting, just sit. But I don't remember much about a Bodhisattva training program or the Sixth Perfection. And so the alligators kind of chewed on me a lot. The alligators would do what? They really, you know, greed, hate, and delusion, no guidance on how to deal with those things. Oh, the alligators of greed, hate, and delusion. There was no training about how to deal with them. Not like I have seen since I came back two years ago. Yeah. So listening to you these past two years after being away from practice for 20 years or so, I'm thinking it would be a good idea to just make friends with the alligators and say welcome and look around at the swamp.

[87:52]

Maybe treasure a welcome each moment here in the swamp. Yeah. And if we do welcome the alligators, the alligators may say, well, okay, now you can look at the swamp. Now that you've listened to me. But if we don't listen to alligators, the alligators say, if you don't listen to me, you ain't going to see no swamp. As a matter of fact, I'm just going to keep at you until you listen to me. And so now you're saying, well, maybe I will listen to you. Now that you mentioned it, I'm up for it. I wasn't intending to come to listen to alligators, but now I understand you're my job to be kind to. There's one more thing I wanted to say was, Jerry Fuller? Yes. I remember you from, I think I came to Zen Center in 1974. I seem to be getting an old man's voice here.

[88:53]

And I remember you from back then and on to 1991, maybe? And it's been 25 years between that time when we left and since I saw you again a couple of years ago. And I remember thinking when you told me about how Jerry Fuller described you or react when he heard you were coming to Green Gulch. Uh-oh, Mr. Zazen is the way I felt too. I didn't say, uh-oh, Mr. Zazen, but I saw you and I said, uh-oh, I'm out of here. But now I see you and I say, wow, that's a grandmother mind's oven. Isn't that wonderful? Thank you. You're welcome. When I take care of this person or my child, am I taking care of all beings at the same time?

[90:35]

She said, when I take care of this person or my child, am I taking care of all beings at the same time? Definitely. Definitely. all beings are included in you. All beings are included in your child. When Susikure Ishin died before, you know, right when Zen Center was starting to grow, and it wasn't so big, and he wasn't so famous, But even so, it was starting to grow so that he said, now people have to make appointments to see me. In the old days, you know, there weren't so many students, so he was really quite available. But the number of students was growing, so people started to actually make appointments to see him. Except people who had room next door.

[91:41]

And... And he said, but you should understand that when I'm talking to somebody else, I'm talking to them for you. So when you're taking care of your daughter, you're taking care of your daughter for all of us because your daughter includes all of us. You may not be able to meet us all, but if you thoroughly take care of your boy completely, you're taking care of us. We're included. And if you take care of yourself completely, you're taking care of us. And I was surprised to hear you say you've never worn that stunning robe. I feel I've seen it before. Two songs for you. I wore it in the practice period once. Oh, thank you for... I don't know. I thought... Yeah, so I'm wrong.

[92:49]

I said at Zen Center. Yeah, I wore it, but I couldn't remember that I wore it at Zen Center. And so maybe I've worn it twice at Zen Center. Okay. You didn't correct me. You just showed me that I was totally wrong. I'm uncorrectable. About 25, maybe more years ago, I did this magazine article.

[94:25]

And I was really wholehearted. It was an art magazine. And I was an artist. And it was about equilibrium, just a momentary point, a pivot point. And most of my art has environmental or geologic elements. and I thought I did a really good job. And then when the magazine came out, I'm like, this is such a boring... Compared to several other artists who had all of this jazz going on. Yeah, it was really interesting just to see, oh, I thought that was, like I'm always looking for that pivot point or noticing when it's about to, you know, we'll be back or pushing forward. too much or too less. So it's just interesting to have it actually published and to think, this is before I ever came to Sam, that it didn't show my heart in some sense.

[95:38]

About the alligators, I feel like the internet is about alligators, as being a director. I go to my office several times a day to work, and just all this comes out. And, of course, I want to take care of everybody. I want everyone to have rides out of here. If you all told me what ride you wanted, it would be easier. And then I want drivers who are trained to drive wherever they're going and back again, and then all these guests that come here going. And they all have something special they want. Then the central administration, they wondered if I could do this project for them.

[97:00]

I'm like, I just don't see it. It's not going to work for me. I'm busy right now. Trying to find equilibrium. I was having a really nice morning. I just completely got thrown off by email. It was pathetic. I felt like, I can't believe I get thrown off so easily. She said, I can't believe I get thrown off so easily. She was balanced, and then something happened, and she felt thrown off. Yeah, there's a reason why no one else looks at their internet. I mean, we're doing you a huge favor.

[98:06]

I mean, all your requests come from, you know, someone in a black robe by you slowly. Yeah. So... And I think I was balanced before Anna spoke. I so much appreciate your being here.

[99:12]

I appreciate you too. And I hope we all get by the pivot tonight. And maybe the swamp doesn't need to be drained. And maybe you don't need to have a radio. She said, maybe the swamp doesn't have to be drained and maybe you don't need a ride out here. You need to check my email. Thank you.

[100:13]

But thank you for providing the ramp up. Of course, Lynn, she actually had to spring it up to the pivot point. And some people, you know, like me, are just springing back and forth around the pivot point. Thank you. Carolyn, thank you. Thank you, Caroline. It's a joy to watch you practice. The roof looks much better than it did the last time you worked.

[101:23]

So I wanted to talk about the poem a little bit, if that's OK, and the second line. So I don't think that the poet meant the initial meaning of the emperors. What kind of people were they? I don't know what you think. Yeah, I don't think he was. I don't know why he took that other poem and put it in. But in the other poem, it has a certain meaning. But I don't think he meant it the same way either. I think he meant, what kind of person is Matsu? But rather than ask it directly, he asked it indirectly by pulling that line in there. Maybe that line's really a beautiful way to say, what is Matsu, than just what is Matsu.

[102:55]

But I think that's what he's asking us. What is this? What is sun-faced Buddha, moon-faced Buddha? What is that? What is that great teacher? And I've been trying to meet that great teacher for 20 years. And it's hard. But I'm okay now. And I think I have a convention of some sort. Okay, do you want to do it now? Okay. I don't like being seen. You don't like being seen? No. And I've been working really hard at letting myself be seen.

[104:06]

But it's still difficult. It's difficult, yeah. Well, I think not liking to be seen is one thing, but trying to hide is another. So you're trying not to be pushed around by that and let yourself be seen. Meeting the teacher is coming and showing yourself. Even if you don't want to be seen, come and show yourself. And if you do want to be seen, come and show yourself so that can be seen too. And when you're seen by somebody else, that will help you see yourself. But it's hard. It's really hard. It's the hardest thing. Thank you for doing the hard thing. Thank you. You're welcome. Why am I sitting in front of your car?

[106:10]

Just want to thank you for the opportunity to be here. And thank you very much for your support. Ever since I came to the Center, I was challenged physically. And in my previous life, I had never felt that way. I did physically everything I wanted and I was interested in, although doctors told me not to. And when I had my bicycle accident, I just stopped doing certain things very often because I couldn't do it anymore so well, like sweeping or cleaning the apartment. And when I came to Sand Center, of course, when you're a new student, you get all the jobs that are very physically challenging.

[107:28]

And Tassajara is just... an accumulation of challenging jobs for me and even for people with a straight spine and it has been a hard ride because I had to learn to accept my limitations at Sand Centre and to say, no, I can't do that. That was the hardest for me. to say, no, I'm sorry, I cannot do that. So with this practice spirit, I have started at least to fully accept the body I have, and sitting with pain and lying down without feeling guilty or bad. and not feeling useless, I felt pretty fine actually.

[108:40]

The other day, during orioki, I was so much in pain after the long lecture, I didn't know how to sit and everything was painful. I was crying because I got so frustrated with my body. Then Craig had his seizure and I just thought, well, we can't choose the bodies we have. It was just this moment, dependent, co-arousing. I just thought, well, it's just about accepting what we've got and practice and live with it fully, wholeheartedly. not feeling bad about anything, unless it's wholehearted. So I felt actually pretty grateful for Greg. At this moment it was a big teaching and it kind of helped me work through that more deeply.

[109:51]

I mean, I learned other things and I really very much appreciated your profound teachings. Congratulations on getting closer to accepting the challenges that were being given. I pray that you continue to more and more fully accept I don't know, they will. You're welcome. At this advanced age, I spend a lot of time thinking about old age, sickness, and death.

[111:39]

But I add another fourth element, which is dementia, which seems to me to be a combination of the three plus a lot more. And I've heard you mention a couple of times the Zen Master who you visited, and I can't remember his name. I hope that's not an indication of my state of mind, but anyway. And what I heard you say both times was, where is the Zen Master, or what? Or what is the Zen Master? Zen Master now. No. Do you have an answer to that? Do I have an answer? Well, yeah, I think the question, where is the Zen master, is a traditional Zen master question. But the answer to the question is not traditional.

[112:48]

it's not usually that that's the Zen master. The Zen master is living in the question. What is a Zen master? Where is the Zen master? Who is the Zen master? The Zen master is in that question. If someone can't... remember the question by the time I get to the end of the question and ask it repeatedly. Unfortunately, I don't think it's possible to know late stages of dementia, what is happening in someone's body and brain. I don't know how practice is possible at that point in life. I'm hoping for some guidance.

[113:52]

For how it's possible? How is it possible that today is called Friday? Do you know? There's a history of why this... Yeah, well, now you're telling me a story, right? Yeah. So you can go on for a while, but that's a causal, a coherent causal story about why this is Friday, why we're calling it Friday. That's not why it's Friday. Okay. And it's also not why it's possible that it's Friday. So even it being Friday, we don't know how it is, but how it's possible to be Friday is even a bigger question.

[114:59]

So no one knows how it's possible that today is called Friday. And no one knows how it's possible that practice can happen. No one knows. So if you want to know, I tell you, nobody knows. And some people will tell you stories about that. And then you say, that's how it's possible. But that's a coherent story to feed your need for a coherent story about how it's possible. But before we do that, I'm telling you, no one knows how it's possible to practice today However, even though you don't know how it's possible, there's practice. And if there's worry about the future, there's a practice for that.

[116:06]

And if there's trying to be sure and know how to deal with dementia, there's a practice for that. Do you know what the practice is for those things? There's worry, I think. I think if I have worry about it, the practice is to be patient and compassionate with that worry. Yeah. At some point. Wait a second. That's the practice, right? Okay. And so now you're going to give me another example of worry. Okay? At some point. Okay. So now here's another worry. So what's the practice with that? Yeah, yeah. And so you want to give us another worry now? Give us another worry.

[117:12]

It'll be the same practice. Trying to figure out things is another worry. And we practice the same with that. We practice compassion with all these worries and all these attempts to try to get control. of our life if dementia comes to visit. But the practice is not to get control of the practice or dementia or anything. That's the practice. So, what do we want? Do you want to get control or do you want practice? Practice is giving up trying to control. And the more you give up trying to control, the more practice there is. And the practice gets stronger and stronger and stronger and it just like turns into a huge cosmic fire of compassion.

[118:16]

And you feed it dementia and it just eats it up. With what? With compassion. With presence. With patience. With carefulness. With diligence. With tranquility. That's the practice. How is that practice possible? No one knows. How can I sit here and say this to you? No one knows. But I am saying this to you and I'm very happy to say this to you. And I'll keep saying this until I don't anymore. But between now and then, I'm going to keep talking about the practice. And whatever worries you give me, I'm going to give you the practice back. I'm not going to do things to reduce your worry. I'm not going to give you a story to calm your worry. I'm going to practice with your worry. That's my vow. And if you try to get control of your worry, I'm practicing compassion with your attempt to get control of your worry while I get rid of it.

[119:27]

But it would be nice if you would share the responsibility with me. Don't make me do all the practice work. And when you think those thoughts, you practice with those thoughts. And if you try to get control of your life so that you don't have to worry anymore, that's not the practice. That's more worry. That intensifies the worry. I want to do a practice which will deal with my dementia if it comes. That's what I'm working on. I'm not trying to stop the dementia from coming. I'm not trying to stop it. I just want to be able to be there with it. Then practice with your, excuse me for saying so, the worry. Practice with the worry. The more you practice with the worry, the stronger the practice gets.

[120:35]

And the stronger the practice gets, the more it can continue through fear, pain, alligators, dementia, internet. So what are you putting your chip down on? I'm putting my chip down on practice. I'm not putting my chip down on, you know, the best retirement home. excuse me for saying so but okay your excuse ahead of time what with the internet the alligators whatever you can recall you you have the ability to recall oh i'm stuck in this i'm gonna you know be with these alligators even it's but with dementia you don't You say, again, now we're getting into a conversation where I can tell you I don't agree with you.

[121:39]

Isn't that nice? And you can kind of still understand me, right? Okay. You just said you have the ability to recall. You just said that. Yeah. Well, you do not have the ability to recall. You do not have that. You do not have that. That is, she's helping me edit a book, that is false. You do not have anything. You're there, and the ability to recall is there. You don't have the ability to recall. It's just there. And then it's not there. And you don't not have it. You just happen to be here, and then there's the ability to recall stuff. Well, great. But you don't have this stuff. What has the ability to recall? The practice has that. And you get to live near the practice and watch the practice like recall and notice and be kind.

[122:41]

You don't have all these practices. So you can take you out of the picture and the practice just like rolls on. But it rolls on because it's been rolled for quite a while, you know, to keep rolling. And if there's not practice, that will keep rolling too. If there's fighting the dementia and fighting the fear, that will keep rolling too. And there's plenty of that. We're trying to get this practice ball turning. And if that practice is turning, even if there's no recalling of anything in this neighborhood, the practice is just going to like, the compassion is going to be there for that situation. But not because you're running the practice. And you're not running the practice now either. And you won't be doing it later. And if you're not here, the practice will go according to the causation of the practice, not the causation of

[123:46]

egoistic control. The practice is going to like relieve that pattern. And the practice is going to more and more happen not by personal power, but by the power of practice. So put your chip down on practice if you want the practice to be going on when your mind has been removed. Dementia means demind. The mind's been taken away. And that's a situation for compassion. Bring the mind back, that's a situation for compassion. So the compassion is just like, whatever, whatever, I'm going into that. Whatever, I'm going into that. Whatever, I'm going, oh, here comes dimension. Okay, baby, here we go. The practice is like, okay, come on, come on, dimension. Come on, sit in my lap. Here, right here. So work the practice, let the practice grow and the practice will go through old age, sickness, dementia and death, birth, childhood, high school, old age, sickness and death, birth.

[125:01]

The practice is the thing that goes through this stuff. It's the consistent mind of the unborn that doesn't arise or cease. That's what we're cultivating. And it goes through this stuff. There's this birth and death thing with all the details in between. That's the faith. Put your energy into the practice that goes through birth and death. That's free of birth and death and doesn't go away from birth and death. that sees birth and death as identical to nirvana.

[125:42]

@Transcribed_v005
@Text_v005
@Score_87.56