some new people, that one way to do this walking meditation is when you start, start with your feet with one foot ahead of the other, maybe with the toe of the back foot at the instep of the front foot, and then check out your breathing, notice whether you're inhaling or exhaling, and then when you, and yeah, so watch your breathing for a little bit, shift your weight so that most of your weight is on your lead foot, and then when you're ready, on an inhale, start to lift the heel of the back foot, shifting even more weight onto the lead

[01:05]

foot, and then when you finish the inhale and start the exhale, step, and as you step, shift your weight onto the foot that you stepped onto, shifting more weight onto the lead foot, the new lead foot, and then when you're at the end of the exhale, as you start the inhale, lift the heel of the back foot, and when you're finished with the inhale, step again. So step on the exhale, start the step on the inhale, finishing the inhale, step with the exhale. This is a kind of an easy way to synchronize the walking with the breathing, and then at the end, a bell is rung, and then we walk rapidly back to our place, and so the pattern is this row

[02:08]

goes this way, this row goes this way, the front row goes this way, the second row goes that way, the third row goes that way, and the person at the end of the third row goes around the corner, the person at the end of the first row goes around the corner, on this side. So, Barry and John would go around the corner, and Lori would go around the corner, right? And the people in the back come all the way up the front and make a row down here, and go down and join that row. And then try to follow the person in front of you. And if they go to some strange place, then we have interesting things happening. The title, I think the title of this series of meetings is something like Facing Change

[03:14]

and Realizing Peace. And I start with an image which I've used a number of times. It's kind of a rendition of something I read at the beginning of a book, of a novel, and the name of the novel is The Famished Road. And my way of saying it is like this, I mean my way of saying it tonight is like this. In a sense, there is a great river, and it's unborn. And

[04:18]

the river has become covered over by a road. And the road has spread out to cover everything. But, and, since the road was originally, or since the road is basically a river, since the road is based on a river, it's always hungry. It's always desiring. That's basic image. What's it desiring? Well, it's really desiring the river, but it's out of touch with the river,

[05:32]

so it doesn't really know about the river anymore. So sometimes it's thinking that it's desiring different things that are going on, on the road. There is, there is life in the river, and there is life on the road. There is change in the river, and there is change on the road. However, in the river, in the change of the river, there is no hunger. There is no desiring in the river. But on the road, in the changes on the road, there is desire, there is hunger, and it's insatiable. On the road, it's insatiable. This image, you know,

[06:48]

in terms of more familiar Buddhist language, is that, you know, that there is, there's life, and there's a life that's changing and flowing, and it's unborn. It doesn't have beginnings and ends. This river that I'm talking about doesn't have a beginning or an end. It doesn't have birth and death. It has change. It is change, but it's not like birth and death. It's a life without beginning or end. But living beings who actually are living in this river and who are the river,

[07:56]

because of past imaginings, because of past what we call action, karma, they now have present action, and this action has the consequence of the road. The road is the embodiment of the action. It's the embodiment of a storytelling. It's the embodiment of the history of storytelling. It's the body of the history of action, action which comes from past action, which makes a road out

[09:09]

of a river. There's change on the road, and there's change in the river. There's a way of practicing with the change on the road. There's a way of practicing with the history of our karma that opens up the road and allows us to enter the river again. And back in the river, because of relating to the road in a way called practice, when we re-enter the river, we actually can stand to be there without making a story about it, without projecting beginnings and endings and birth and death on it. Therefore, we can be in the river with no hunger. But there's a certain kind

[10:27]

of wish, or a certain kind of aspiration, which is not hunger arising from being stranded on the road of karmic consciousness. And that's the wish of those who have practiced with the road in such a way as to become free of it and have re-entered the river with the ability to tolerate it and live there without making further roads out of it. And there's a wish there to practice there and to show beings who are stuck on the road how to practice and realize that this road is basically a river.

[11:28]

So there's a kind of change on the road. One of the ways of typifying the change is birth and death. There's birth and death on the road. There's life in the form of birth and death, or life in the form of beginning and ending. In the river there's life but without beginning and ending. And those who can live there are free. And those who are completely free wish the beings who are living on the road to learn how to deal with the road in such a way that they become free of the road. They become free of the embodiment, the incrustations, the sedimentations of storytelling,

[12:37]

of karmic consciousness. But there's a way of practicing with that such that one becomes free of it. It opens up and we drop back in to a different kind of life. And on the road there is, there are moments. And the moments have pasts and futures and present. And one teaching is to work with the present moment. The present moment however is the present moment of the road. And there's a way of working with the present moment of the road where we actually study it.

[13:47]

We're studying a moment of constructed experience. We study a moment of the results of our past imaginings, our past karma. We're studying a construction. And there's ways of studying or scrutinizing or analyzing the structure in such a way as to realize its context and its limits. And practicing with those again become free of it. The way of practicing with the road, the way of practicing with the embodiment of the history of our action or the history of our storytelling. And that's our storytelling together with everybody else's storytelling. We have our

[14:51]

own storytelling which makes the road. And then we also have the assembly of everybody's storytelling which also makes the road. But we cannot see other people's storytelling, but we can see our own. We can see the results of our own and everybody else's. And that result is called again birth and death. And in birth and death, we're hungry and we suffer. Basically, the way of practicing with the road, the way of practicing with the embodiment of our past imaginations that the river is something

[15:55]

tangible. Basically, it's an ethical practice. It's a practice of being ethical. And I've said many times before, this ethical practice has sometimes three aspects. An aspect of restraint, an aspect of practicing what is wholesome, what is conducive, what is advantageous to becoming free of the road. And restraining what distracts us from the path of freedom from the road. And the third form of training, ethical training, is to serve all living beings, to serve all living beings.

[16:58]

Those three aspects, those are ways of practicing on the road that leads to freedom from the road, freedom from the habit. The road is a habitual way to be in the river, such that we don't even see the river anymore because the river is not a habit. The road is an addiction, is an addictive way to live, is an addicted way to live in the actual beginning, the unborn flow of life. This ethical training is a way to deal with addiction, habit, karmic consciousness, the road. It doesn't exactly make a better road. It might seem like it makes a better road, but that's not

[18:01]

the ultimate point. That's a temporary point. For example, a better road would be a road that said road everywhere. A better road would be a road where everything you saw said embodiment of your past karma. What you're looking at is the embodiment of your past karma. In other words, what you're looking at is your mind. That would be, in some sense, a better road if everybody just gently told us that all the time. That would be a road which would be conducive to more actions which are conducive to freedom. Because this way of practicing with the road habit, the habit road,

[19:13]

because these ways of practicing, these ethical ways of practicing are threefold, that's an example that there's some detail or some analysis involved in the way of relating to our habits. And that threefold analysis is short for further analysis, further scrutiny, more or less ongoing scrutiny until you see through the habit, until you see the way of being that's not your habit, that's free of habit, that's free, in other words. Freedom is freedom from habit. And the word recovery, it's a recovery process. And so the word recovery,

[20:35]

which is applied to addictive behaviors, oftentimes it means, I guess, recovery from the addiction. But there's also, in the process of recovering from the addiction, there's a recovery from a world, a lost world, which we hunger for. It's recovery from a life that's unborn. It's recovery of a life that's unborn. It's recovery of a life where there's no craving. And it's recovery from a life where there is craving due to the habit. When there's habits, we crave. It's not just that we have a habit of craving. When we're involved in habits, we're hungry. The habits make us hungry. They don't satisfy our hunger. They make us hungry. The road doesn't satisfy our hunger for something. It makes us hungry.

[21:41]

And yet, the habit is to build more roads in hopes that the next road will satisfy the hunger. But it doesn't. Practicing ethics with the road is partly to remember to not be, to restrain using habits to satisfy the hunger. And do, and restraining using habits to satisfy the hunger is one of the good things to do. But there's other good things to do which don't seem like restraint, which are conducive to becoming free of the habit, like generosity, and so on.

[22:44]

Okay, so that's a summary of how to be free and at peace when we find ourselves hungry on the road, hungry in the midst of our habits and addictions. This is how to become free of them. Another thing I'd like to say at the beginning, which is a different way to talk about ethics, is to look at ethics as your sense of responsibility. Not so much what somebody else is telling you that is your responsibility, and not even what you're telling yourself is your responsibility,

[23:49]

but more your sense that you are responsible, that you are responsible to act in a way that will lead to your freedom and peace, that you're responsible for that, that you feel actually, if you excuse the expression, obligated to be responsible for that. To become free of a life of hunger and find a life that's free from that hunger. To find a sense of responsibility in your heart and take care of that, or you might say respect it. I don't know if anybody feels in this room, anyway,

[25:13]

any obligation or any responsibility to do criminal acts. I don't know if anybody feels a responsibility to act in a cruel way. But most of us can see, most of us sometimes see the appearance of criminal acts or the appearance of cruelty. Most of us see that. And then sometimes we see ethical behavior and kindness. Right? Don't you sometimes see ethical behavior and kindness? In other words, don't you see the appearance of kindness and generosity and carefulness among living beings? And don't you sometimes see carelessness? So those are things we see. We see these kinds of things in our world of habits. We see these kinds of things on the road. And the way we see them

[26:20]

is that they have birth and death. That they arise and cease. They have beginnings and ends. And we feel hungry. Even when we see ethical behavior, because of the way we see it, we're hungry. Like we think there should be more ethical behavior than there is. And some people do want there to be more ethical behavior. They want more of it. They wish for more of it. But they don't see it as a substantial thing. They see it in the river. They see ethical behavior pulsing change of sense, experience. They see goodness. And they see criminality, too. But because they see it not through the consequences of their past

[27:31]

action, because they don't see it in a habitual way, they're not hungry. They're free while they're looking at it. And because they're free, they're all the more free to wish other beings would see it that way and be free. So they do wish for more ethical behavior in the river. And before they entered the river, they wished for it on the road. And they learned to wish for it and wish for it and not get distracted by the road. For example, they learned to not be distracted by judgments of kindness and cruelty. There are judgments of goodness and evil on the road. And there's judgments of good and evil in

[28:40]

the river. But in the river, there's no addiction in relationship to the judgments. And those who learn to practice with the appearance of good and evil on the road by respecting being ethical and not getting distracted by ethics and not ethics, they enter the river and become free of craving in the midst of these images. So when we actually are on the beam, when we're actually in the moment, in the midst of our addictions, devoted to respect for the path of honoring what we feel is our responsibility on the road,

[29:44]

and not distracted by judgments of whether we're doing it or not, or whether anybody else is doing it or not, at that moment, we are free. At that moment, we don't have time to notice that we're not in the river. We don't have time to make the road. We are free. But if we have time to look at our freedom, check out whether it's true or not, we've just slipped back into road making, which would be similar to, rather than looking at your sense of responsibility for this precious life and respecting that and respecting that, you start checking to whether you're fulfilling your responsibility. Fulfilling your responsibility is freedom. However, or and, freedom is impossible, the reality of freedom is impossible to know.

[31:04]

If you could know it, then it would be made into a road. If you could imagine it with your mind, then you'd basically just make it into a road, but the road is not really freedom. But the reality of it cannot be known. And we have to remember that. That's the other part of the teaching. So one part of the teaching is practice ethics with our addictions, with our habits, with this substantialized life wherein we crave because we crave to be free of making our life into a rock. Practice ethics there. How do you practice them? I don't know. I don't know how to practice them, but I want to, and I respect the practice. And sometimes I'm not at all distracted from it by whether I'm practicing it or not,

[32:11]

or whether you're practicing it or not, or what it is or not. No one knows the reality of ethics, and no one knows the reality of freedom, which is the practice of ethics. The practice of ethics is the practical part of freedom. The impossibility of knowing its reality is the theoretical part of freedom. And the theory of reality is that you cannot know it. It's free of our road-building abilities. Theory of freedom meets the practice of freedom at freedom. The theory of peace meets the practice of peace at peace. And peace is fulfilling your sense of your obligation moment in a moment.

[33:12]

So, I often ask in these classes, you know, like last time I think I asked, is there a wish, you know, do you have a wish, a great wish, an aspiration? And now I'm asking a slightly different question. I'm sort of asking, do you have a sense, you know, in your mind, do you have a sense of responsibility?

[34:12]

Do you have a sense of what you are obliged to, how you're obliged to live? Are you obliged to live in a certain way in the midst of addictions? And are you obliged to become free of them? Do you feel that? Or do you feel some other obligation and some other responsibility? I'm saying, let's start with what you feel is your responsibility in this life, wherever you are. If you're on the road where most people are, what responsibility do you feel? If you're in the river with the enlightened beings, what responsibility do you feel? They feel responsible too, those who live in the river and can stand it. They feel responsible. They're responsible just to keep being in the river and keep inviting people

[35:14]

to practice and join them in the river. That's their responsibility, which they're working on. People who have not yet become free of their habits, then what I'm asking them, us, what sense of responsibility can you find in your mind and your heart? And the proposal is that human beings do have such a thing in their mind, in their consciousness. They do have a sense. And once they find that sense, or even before they find the sense, let's say you found it, then you have opinions about whether that sense is being met. You have opinions. It appears as though you're doing it or not doing it. But the actual practice is not to get involved in those appearances, even though they're there, but to respect the practice, to respect the feeling of responsibility to take care of that,

[36:23]

regardless of what you think's going on. And you do think things are going on. In the midst of thinking that something's going on, are you in touch? Are you taking care of your responsibility that you feel, your work that you feel? Did I say are you? Take it back. Do you want to? And also, do you believe that that's freedom? I'm telling you it's freedom. And then I'm also saying, by the way, it's impossible to know the reality of this freedom, which I said this practice is. In other words, all phenomena are insubstantial, including freedom. It isn't like the best things are substantial. That's not what's best about them.

[37:27]

What's best about them is that they're a freedom which is really, really free. It's free of anybody being able to get a hold of it. Even Buddhas can't get a hold of freedom, and they're the ones who teach that. And they also teach people to take care of their sense of responsibility, which is ethics. Bodhisattvas feel responsible for the welfare of all beings. That's their aspiration. They have that aspiration. They have the wish to help all beings in the best possible way. That's their aspiration. Therefore, they feel responsible to that. And they don't know what that is. And they don't know who it is they're helping or who it is they want to help.

[38:32]

And even though they don't know who they want to help, they still want to help those people that they don't know who they are or what they are. They don't hold that against them. You know, I don't know who you are, so I'm going to find somebody else to help who I do know. And if they do know somebody, they say, okay, I know that person, this is my problem. You know, I accept that, that I know this person. In other words, I'm on the road again, and when I know somebody, I'm hungry. I'm hungry for that person who's not somebody on the road. I'm hungry for the river of that person. Even though I really like some people I know, when I know them, I'm hungry. Because when I know them, that's the embodiment of my story about them.

[39:34]

So I accept, then I'm on the road, I've slipped away from, I've risen above the river, and now I'm building a road again. But there's a practice then, too, and I can kind of remember that practice. Those who are in the river can remember it. Those who then leave the river and enter the road, everybody can remember the practice. It's possible. For road dwellers to remember, and river dwellers to remember. And if we are road dwellers, which we certainly sometimes are, right? We see birth and death, and we kind of believe it. We're habituated to it, right? So at that time, we're a road dweller. We see people we know, we know them, and we know what they're like, and we know whether they're good or bad, right?

[40:38]

That's the road. I accept, I'm on the road. Okay, what's my practice? My practice is not to be judging people, good and bad. My practice is not to know people. That's my habit. My practice is to be kind to my habit, to practice ethics with my habit. That's my practice. In other words, my practice is to fulfill my responsibility, which is to be kind to the road and all the people who dwell on the road, and everybody that's dwelling on the road. When I look at them, if I'm on the road, they look like the road, too. So the road goes through birth and death, and everybody on the road goes through birth and death. And everybody on the road and the road, everything deserves ethical conduct. Everybody deserves freedom. And I don't know what it is, and it's impossible to know what it is.

[41:42]

Even Buddhas don't know the reality of it, which is why it really is good and really works. So again, on the road, the first ethical training is don't get distracted from remembering that you feel a responsibility in this precious life. If you found it, then don't be distracted by it. If you haven't found it yet, you need to find something from which you're not distracted so you can practice restraint of distraction. In order to practice ethics, the first one is to restrain getting distracted

[42:44]

from what's your responsibility. So you kind of need to find out if you feel something. The first aspect of ethics is to not get distracted from what you feel your obligation in this wonderful life is, life on the road and life in the river. What responsibility is there? It's the same responsibility in both places. But do you feel it? Do you feel obligated in some way, wherever you are, in the midst of no opinions or good and bad opinions? Do you feel some? Do you feel that? And if you feel it, then I would say to you, the way to become free and the way to find peace is to respect that. Respecting that is the practice of freedom and peace. So I've said the same thing over and over several times,

[44:08]

so probably you have some pretty good idea of what I said and some feeling for it. And so each of our own job is to look at our heart, look at our mind, and actually find that ethical consciousness. Find that mind which feels some obligation in this world, some responsibility. And then consider whether you wish to take care of it and respect it. And if I can find mine, then I think it would make sense for me, I think, to help you find and take care of yours. If I find mine, then taking care of mine is to help me not get distracted from it and to help you not get distracted from yours if you've found it. And if you haven't found it, I think my responsibility is to encourage you to do the same.

[45:08]

I encourage you to find it so you can do the practices which will bring you freedom and peace and make you a helper of all beings, because they need to learn this, too. So if you wish to offer anything? Anything? Yes? I thought that the river was beyond permanence and change. How can you say there's change in the river? Beyond permanence? Well, that part... Beyond permanence. Beyond. Beyond permanence. Change is an idea of the wrong. Change is an idea of the wrong. Yes, right. Yet you seem to say there's change in the river.

[46:08]

Well, it's like a river. I'm sorry, it's like a river. And a river seems to change. So it seems to change. But the reality of the change cannot be grasped. But it does seem to change. And let's see, so it's beyond anybody's idea of change, but it's like a river. It does seem to flow. Our life does seem to flow. There seems to be a flow. In the non-habitual way of being there, when there's not birth and death, when there's no beginning or end to the flow, there seems to be a flow. One person says, what's like a river and like a serene lake? And the person said, the mind.

[47:12]

It's actually still. It's still. It's not really moving, exactly. It's still and it's flowing, or it's still and it's changing. It's like it's still and it's still and it's still. It's a stillness that's not fixed. So it's, and it's not my idea of change. It's like a river. Not really a river. So we're using, maybe we're on the road using images to help us on the road to realize what the road's based on and to help us understand why we're hungry. You're welcome. Thank you for the question. Yes, Vera. No, I have two things. One is more metaphorical. I, when you were talking about the road and the river,

[48:14]

I had this image of the road being static and the river flowing and moving. You know, a while ago, I used to go on river walking trips and one time, I was walking with two of our children and the woman we went with was very much in love with the river and also different rivers. And one of the things we did was take the kids to a rocky place where they would jump into the river and they would have to travel a little with the current and then find a rock to stop themselves. Otherwise, it wasn't so safe. They were pretty young and I was a little bit nervous and I mentioned something to her. I mean, they liked doing it and they kept doing it over and over again and it turned out okay. And I said something to her about being a little worried and she said,

[49:15]

well, don't worry. You know, if the river wants you, it'll take you. If it doesn't want you, it'll spit you out. And it was almost like the river had a life going of its own. And the other thing is a very pragmatic thing and I feel like I've lost freedom because I have anxiety about something. We were visiting this man, some friends. He has no family and he's very, very sick and we have to go in with gloves and a gown because he has a septic infection and I was one of the people visiting him regularly and then I got sick the last two weeks and I had myriads of things and I'm overwhelmed almost completely and I got a little paranoid and I thought, well, you can pick up things in hospitals

[50:17]

but I couldn't pick this up anywhere. And he's expecting me to come at the end of this week because he knows I'm better and I don't really want to go into the hospital. And I feel a part of me wants to do this and I feel it's a responsibility that I want to take. So I'm conflicted about it. You feel that you're obligated to go to the hospital? Not exactly obligated but he has no family so it's down to about three or four friends and he's really very sick and doesn't have a lot of resources right now. And I feel it's something I want to do, it's something I should do,

[51:20]

and it's something I want to do but I'm also afraid to go there. So you said you should do it, that's like an obligation, right? I guess it is. You feel. But it's more than an obligation. What? It's more than... Maybe it's semantics when the word obligation comes up it sounds like something you might not want to do but you feel you should. I feel it's my responsibility. I understand that if we use the word obligation it may sound like something you don't want to do. I understand that that word obligation, you might associate that with something you don't want to do. I got that. But I'm not telling you that you are obligated, I asked you if you felt it. And if you don't feel it then say, no, I don't.

[52:22]

I do feel it. I thought you did. So you feel obligation. Now you have that feeling of obligation, a sense of obligation, and you can say, and I associate that with something that I feel obligated to do that I don't want to do. You could say that too. That's alongside of the obligation is an association with maybe something I don't want to do. But even if you didn't have that feeling of not wanting to do it, you could sometimes feel an obligation that you didn't associate with that. So you have this feeling of obligation. What I'm saying is the practice is to respect that sense of obligation. That's the practice I'm talking about. I'm not telling you that the practice is to go to the hospital or not to go to the hospital.

[53:24]

You will probably go or not go. And I might see or hear that you went or didn't go. But I'm not really so concerned about whether you go or not, actually. I'm concerned with whether you're respecting this particular sense of obligation, whether you're taking care of it, whether you're getting distracted from it. You know, you could get distracted from it by thinking, well, should I go or not go? That could be another obligation you feel. You might feel like, I feel obligated to think about whether I should go or not. You might feel that. I myself do not feel an obligation to think about whether you should go or not. I don't feel that. But I do feel an obligation to talk to you about taking care of your obligation, your sense of obligation. To respect it. To keep it in mind. To care for it. Because this is the precious thing, is that you feel some obligation to beings

[54:29]

with or without association that you have to do it or you should do it, even though you don't want to. Or even association with, this is about something you don't want to do. Some obligations you feel you're perfectly happy about. And other things you don't feel an obligation about, and you don't. And even though you don't feel obligation, you still wouldn't want to do it. I don't feel obligated to do that thing which I don't want to do. That's possible, right? I do feel an obligation to this thing which I do want to do. I feel an obligation to this thing which I don't want to do. But I don't want to do and I do want to do are not respecting the obligation. Those are just opinions and preferences and so on. That's not the practice. Those are just things that you can't control. You can't control them. They just come up and go away. They're road builders. I'm talking about respect. They're road builders.

[55:32]

Your opinions and views of what's going on are just building roads. Roads are built by those kinds of attitudes and those kinds of stories. But your respect for your sense of obligation, that's the practice I'm pointing to. That may lead, that may sponsor, not only sponsor, but that may be there when you go to the hospital or not. But also some people go to the hospital and get distracted from this. So they go to the hospital and they just build more roads. Which, you know, and there's good and bad roads. There's rough roads. But no matter what road you build, you're just building more habit. Can you give an example where you say you can go to the hospital and get distracted? What would be an example of that? You go to the hospital because you think people will like you better for going.

[56:40]

Or you go to the hospital because you feel you'll be free of guilt of not going to the hospital. You're not going to the hospital out of just respecting your obligation. You're going there for some other reason other than you respect taking care of your obligation, your sense of obligation, your responsibility. But you can also feel responsible to go to the hospital and not be able to go to the hospital because the road doesn't let you go. The hospital's closed. You break your leg. But you actually were respecting your obligation and were happy to do anything in accord with respecting it. Which might be going to the hospital and visiting the person. That might be perfectly in accord with that. But also not visiting him might be in accord with that. But if you forget it, when you forget it, what do you get into?

[57:44]

You get into appearances like, I went to the hospital. I didn't. I'm a good person. I'm a bad person. That person's not worthy of my visit. Get into that kind of stuff rather than, I respect my obligation to care for all beings. Or whatever you feel. Yes? I'm new here, and I understand that the road, the river, and hunger are symbols and metaphors. That's right. What do they stand for? What does hunger stand for? It stands for craving, which causes more road building, which causes more craving, which causes more road building, which causes, in other words, suffering. What does the road and river stand for? The road stands for the world that we've constructed here.

[58:47]

It stands for this room and all the people in it. You know, this road, the situation we're living with is a result of our storytelling. And we're habituated to this. Storytelling means that we dream up, you know, for example, I have an image of you, and I think, and I say, that's you. And, you know, I believe it. And what does the river stand for? The river stands for I don't know who you are. You know, I don't know who you are, and I can tolerate that when I'm in the river. And yeah, and I'm free, and I'm not craving you to be good or bad, or what I think you are, or not what I think you are. I don't believe that you are something that I can dream up. Matter of fact, I'm not dreaming you up.

[59:49]

I don't know what you are. The river is life where you're not making it into something you can grasp, and you are not hungry. You're sensing things, you're feeling pain and pleasure, but you're not craving, you're not desiring more pain or more pleasure. Less pain or less pleasure. You're just sensing. You're a living, you're a sentient being without craving. So you're accepting reality as it is? You are accepting reality as it is, yeah. You're accepting reality as it is. You're accepting reality means you accept that you do not know the reality. That's part of accepting it. You accept that.

[60:53]

That's life in the river. And that's freedom from craving, which leads to building roads, which leads to craving and suffering. And may you continue to be new here. Okay? That's life in the river. Who are these people? Who are you, man there, woman there? Who are you? I'm calling on you. I don't know. Who are you? I don't know. But I have this question about the idea of a struggle that's unresolved.

[61:58]

Yeah? So you say a person has an obligation, and they know what they're going to do. They know they're going to take care of this obligation. But yet, within them is this continuous desire to not do it that will not be quiet. And even in the midst of knowing that they have fulfilled the obligation, there is something that's saying, I don't want this. I don't want this. I don't want this. And it's unresolved. What's going on there? Am I being clear? What I just heard, I just heard a road. I just heard a road.

[63:00]

Yeah. And the road I heard was, I'm going to fulfill an obligation. And then I heard a road, which was, I don't want to fulfill the obligation. And then I heard a question, a road question. What's going on? I heard a road. So all three of them are roads? For me, they're roads. And so, yes, so? What to do about it. Yeah, what to do about it, right. And so this is what I'm doing with it. I'm talking to you, and I'm trying while I talk to you to not get distracted from my sense of obligation, from my sense of responsibility. And I feel responsible to say to you that the idea that this

[64:03]

obligation is going to be satisfied is just that. It's an idea, which you're telling me. I think that you have some experience like that, of such an idea. And then you also said a struggle that's unresolved. And I'm saying to you and me that to think that obligations will be fulfilled and to think that I don't want to, and to be involved in that stuff is a struggle. And that struggle will not be resolved unless I pay my respects to my sense of obligation and don't get distracted about whether it's going to be resolved, whether it's going to be fulfilled, the obligation, whether it's not going to be fulfilled, whether I want to or don't want to. Wanting to, not wanting to, opinions about success and failure.

[65:05]

Those are things on the road which can easily distract me from my job. My job is not to think those thoughts. But I do think those thoughts. My responsibility is not to think such thoughts, but I do. I am responsible for them, but my responsibility for them is to not get distracted by them. No, no, not ignore them. Because you just told me about them and my responsibility is not to ignore the story you told me just now. And my responsibility is to encourage you not to ignore them. I'm saying don't get distracted by them. But it's a struggle not to get distracted by them. It's a struggle when you think, oh, should I take care of this person or not? Oh, I want to take care of this person.

[66:10]

Oh, I don't want to take care of this person. Oh, I should take care of this person. Those thoughts, relating to them and welcoming them, being generous towards them, not ignoring them, giving them my generous attention and not getting distracted from my responsibility, that's a struggle which will be resolved. But if I get distracted, it won't be resolved. So what is exactly meant by distraction? That you actually get into whether you're going to do it or not. In other words, distraction is something that would take you away from your obligation. No, it takes you away from your respect and care for your obligation. You've got to be on this beam all the time of your responsibility. Your responsibility is what? You get to say what it is. Once you have that clear, then you can have a struggle which will lead to resolution.

[67:15]

But if you have a sense of responsibility and you get distracted from it and start thinking about whether you should fulfill your responsibility or not, that's not your responsibility. It's not to think about whether you're going to be successful or not. But that's not the question. That's not the struggle that's going on. There's absolutely no doubt that the responsibility will be fulfilled. None whatsoever. But yet, there's this part that is going... Okay, so that's what I'm... This confidence you have... Actually, I would say, okay, fine, have that confidence. That's the confidence that you're absolutely, for sure, going to be a Buddha. No question about it. You're going to be Buddha. You're eventually going to lock into your responsibility and never get distracted. Yeah, for sure.

[68:18]

Okay, fine. Now, it just so happens there's this other thing there, which is saying, I don't want to do it. That is going to be something you're going to struggle with. That's the road. That's an example of the road. I don't want to do it. I will line up with my sense of responsibility, for sure. Completely, someday. I will. There's that. That's a kind of confidence thing. I want to is another confidence thing. I want to line up with it. But I don't want to do this, and I do want to do that. Those are things which can distract me from it. If I get into those, and take care of those, or don't take care of those, and that judgment process, that will distract me from my confidence that I will line up with it, and that I want to line up with it. And I respect that wish. I respect my integrity as a potential Buddha.

[69:21]

What did you call it again? The sight thing, the sort of resistance thing. Well, it's the result of resistance. It's the result of resistance, and if you start looking at it, and forget your obligation, then you're resisting your obligation. If you get distracted by these things, you are resisting the practice of not being distracted. The road is the result of past distractions. Well, no. Temptation would be I am actually respecting my responsibility, and here's an opportunity to get distracted, and I'm tempted to get distracted,

[70:32]

but I'm not there yet. I'm just tempted. I'm still on the beam here, but I see a possibility of going away from the beam, but I'm not there yet. When you actually go over there, it's not temptation anymore. You have transgressed. Transgression is distraction. Distraction, transgression. Distraction from what? Distraction from your ethical responsibility, whatever you feel it to be. The road means everything you see all day long, pretty much. You see stuff that starts and ends. To live in the world that has birth and death is based on a world that doesn't have birth and death,

[71:34]

and because we live in the world that has birth and death, which is based on a world that doesn't, we're craving all the time. And if we could stand the world of the life, actually, free of birth and death, if we could stand it, then we wouldn't be creating this world. And we wouldn't be craving, and we wouldn't suffer. But we have not been able to stand the world of radical change and radical life. So we made a road, and we're hungry. I have synonyms for it, and I've used them in past classes. The synonym for road is karmic consciousness. Synonym for road is the consequences of all your past karma. The world. The world is a synonym for the road. But I'm just saying the world is like this hard thing that you're putting on top of something that's not a world.

[72:37]

We have a life which isn't a world. It's not a world, it's a life. But we can't stand our life because we're inclined to try to make our life into something we can grasp. And when we're successful, I should say by wishing to make it into something that we can grasp, we're successful. And once we can grasp it, then we're hungry for our life that can't be grasped. And we want to go back to our life that can't be grasped. Yes. But I thought the road image, in some ways, has some advantage over karmic consciousness. Which is covering our actual life. The road is the embodiment of our karmic consciousness, which is going on right now. And our karmic consciousness is aware of the results of our karmic consciousness. Our karmic consciousness is operating and it's living inside a shell or on top of a road,

[73:45]

which is the result of karmic consciousness. And that's blocking access to what we're yearning for. A life, a full life. Unhindered and at peace, even though it's very alive. You're welcome. It's getting late. So maybe you could just ask your question. Okay, would you ask your question then? Ask your question. We've spoken of sense of obligation, and we've also been speaking of obligation. I'm wondering if those are one and the same, or if there's... I think it's more sense of obligation. If you take care and respect your sense of obligation, you will become free and at peace.

[74:45]

And also, your obligation and the practice of taking care of it, and your freedom are closely related. What I'm wondering is if there's an actual obligation or if there's just... The actual obligation is... Well, it's something which is impossible to know. Yes. Not a question? No, it's not. I saw this news where this lifeguard lost his job, and some other lifeguards got together in empathy with him, and they walked out of a private lifeguard company, because they were not supposed to go beyond a certain point of the speech. And somebody was drowning beyond that point. So the lifeguard said, my responsibility is to save the people.

[75:47]

So he transgressed over there and saved the drowning person, and the company fired him. And he said, you don't need to fire me. I'm putting these other people with two of these other lifeguards. He was very clear about his responsibility. Yeah, so maybe he was really clear about his responsibility. But even if you're not clear about your responsibility, you can respect it in its unclear form. And respecting it, even if it's unclear, is the practice. And if you're clear about it, then respect the clear sense of responsibility.

[76:52]

And if you can't find your responsibility, I'm suggesting let's try to find it. Because we need that, because that's what we need to respect. That's the core of our ethical life. That's the core of us finding peace in the superficial and profound change of life. And I'd like to go deeper into moments of consciousness with you next time, and next time. Thank you.

[77:44]

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