So we had people from the U.S. and we had people from Italia and Deutschland and England and Wales and Mexico. Welcome to the Great Assembly. I have been thinking about what name is sometimes or description is given to Zen temples. Sometimes Zen temples are called Houses for Making Buddhas.

[01:04]

And I would guess that some of you have not heard that description of a Zen temple as a house for making Buddhas. So I thought I might talk to you a little bit about that. I think We have talked a lot about a Zen temple as a place for training bodhisattvas, but today maybe mention that training bodhisattvas is to train people who can work to free beings so they may live in peace and harmony. That may be a familiar story. But maybe we don't emphasize so much that our temples are for making Buddhas, not so much making bodhisattvas into Buddhas, but making Buddhas.

[02:23]

And so what does our practice have to do with making Buddhas? There's a story that has come down to us from more than a thousand years ago in China. There were two Buddhist monks. One was named Nyanyue and the other was named Matsu. Nanyue was a disciple of the person we call the sixth ancestor, Huineng. And Nanyue had a student named Matsu, Master Ma.

[03:27]

The story is told in two different ways. One way is that Master Ma was sitting in meditation or was practicing sitting meditation all the time. all the time. He was sitting, practicing meditation. He was studying with his teacher, Nanyue, and he was sitting a lot. Another way of telling the story that is told by Dogen is after Nanyue became a successor to the teacher Nanyue, after he became his his air in the Dharma, he practiced sitting all the time.

[04:44]

So he didn't just practice sitting a lot and then receive the transmission of the Dharma and become a successor. He continued that practice after becoming a successor. So he practiced before becoming a successor, he practiced sitting, meditation before, during, and after becoming a successor. Becoming a successor, becoming an ancestor in the tradition. Oh, by the way, there's two Donnas. And I hope both Donnas felt welcomed.

[05:52]

Welcome Donna and Donna. So the teacher comes up to the student, Nanyue comes up to Matsu and says, What is your intention? What are you intending? Sitting like this all the time. So one translation is, what are you intending? Sitting there. Another translation would be, what are you figuring to do sitting there? And another translation is, what are you aiming at sitting there?

[06:56]

That was the teacher's question. From long ago, People were sitting and teachers were asking them, what are you intending sitting there? And oftentimes when we get together and sit quietly, no one says that to us. But sometimes someone might say that to us. And it seems right now like it would really be good that when we sit, we ask that question. What are we intending? What are we figuring to do in our sitting? Last time we met in this online venue I made a request of the assembly and my request was that

[08:14]

you sit, and actually I suggested sitting the next day after our meeting, so we met on a Saturday, I suggested meeting on Sunday, that when you get up in the morning you remember to sit as a service to all of us. I suggested getting up and as soon as possible remembering the intention to sit as a service and as a support to all beings, and in particular this great assembly. And I'm a little bit proud that the next morning when I got up, I managed right away after I stood up, I remembered, I am going to sit now as an act of service, as a gift to the great assembly that met yesterday.

[09:32]

And I'm also going to sit for all beings. I remembered. And I was glad that I remembered. And I did sit with that intention that day. And I aspire to continue to sit for the sake of all beings whenever I sit. So here we have the teacher a teacher, a great teacher, asking a great student, who's also a great teacher, what are you intending, what are you aiming, what are you figuring, what are you aspiring to do sitting in meditation? And many teachers have asked many students that same question, basically.

[10:39]

But if you don't have a teacher in the room with you when you're sitting, I think it would be really good if we asked ourselves. When we're sitting with nobody in the room with us, or with many people in the room with us, with all beings with us, or maybe nobody's in the room but us, to ask ourselves, what do I aspire to do in this sitting meditation? And I'm not going to ask you, if those of you who are here, I'm not going to ask you if you remember to do it the next morning. I'm not going to ask you. So anyway, back in China, more than a thousand years ago, when Matsu was asked by his teacher, what are you figuring to do, what are you intending to do, sitting in meditation, Matsu said,

[12:06]

I intend to make a Buddha. I intend to make a Buddha. I'm a Bodhisattva. I want to be a Bodhisattva. And I want to make a Buddha when I sit. And then the story goes on to the unique response, the famous unique response of the teacher. I want to make, I intend to make a Buddha.

[13:13]

The teacher then picks up a tile, a roof tile or a wall tile, And he takes the tile and starts rubbing it on a stone. Yeah, rubbing it on a stone, polishing it. And the student Matsu says, what are you doing? And the teacher said, I'm polishing this tile to make a mirror. And Matsu says, how can you make a mirror by polishing a tile on a stone? And Nanyue said, how can you make a Buddha

[14:27]

by practicing sitting meditation. And then Matsu says, so what? So what is right? So it occurs to me now that if we are

[15:31]

sitting in meditation, which we often call zazen, which means sitting meditation, in sitting meditation we might consider what we aspire to in that sitting, what we are figuring to do, what our intention is. And if it is to make a Buddha, then one of the things we need to be careful of, it seems, is to not consider the sitting as a device, as a contrivance that we use to make a Buddha. to consider that the sitting meditation must not be the slightest bit different from making Buddha.

[16:44]

That the sitting must not be the slightest bit different from other people's sitting. That the sitting in service of all beings, there's not a slightest bit of difference between our sitting and their sitting. The sitting which is making Buddha is the same practice as our sitting in all beings. It is the same practice as our sitting and all Buddha's sitting. So this is one interpretation that arises here in response to this question. about making a Buddha in sitting meditation and having sitting meditation be making Buddha, making Buddha.

[18:10]

The story goes on and in some sense the teaching gets more difficult. And I kind of feel like maybe we should stop now before the more difficult part comes. Please raise your hand if you have a question.

[19:49]

Pardon? I was asking the assembly to please use the raised hand function if they have a question. Here we go. Dennis? Thank you, Rab. It's good to be here. So this problem is, for me, we talk about no gaining mind. And we call our sitting practice Shikantaza. Just sitting. So I've heard Some great teachers say, I think, I've heard, I could be wrong, that when we're sitting, there's nothing to get, no goal.

[21:06]

I love the fact you used the word, I think, it's no device. Is that what you said? No device. No device. And that we set up this kind of duality. And I do this, setting up this duality. And what's unfortunate, I think, is that I see in the world this popularity of sitting practice, or some people call it mindfulness meditation, as a means to get something. So that confuses, I think, a lot of people, including this person. And I think I've heard Dogen said that we just manifest. When we're sitting, we're just manifest, expressing our Buddha nature. So how can I understand this better than

[22:09]

And reconcile, I think is the word I'm looking for. This urge for people, including me, to stop my own suffering, to stop, to end suffering and no gaining mind. So, in the practice of making Buddha, there is nothing to attain. However, we need to celebrate that in making Buddha there is nothing to attain in order to realize it.

[23:23]

And one way to celebrate making Buddha, in which there's nothing to attain, is to sit. But the sitting is not trying to get anything. The sitting which is making Buddha, not the sitting which makes Buddha, but the sitting which is making Buddha, it has nothing to gain. However, we do need to practice celebrating this nothing to attain Buddha in order to realize nothing to attain. So today, here nothing will be attained and we are celebrating that by getting together and sitting together today. Another story along these lines is, one of our ancestors, sort of, what do you call it, one of Matsu's contemporaries was named Shurto.

[24:48]

Shurto, which means on top of the rock, because he sat on top of a rock. And Shurto had a disciple named Yaoshan, which means Medicine Mountain. And Yaoshan was like Matsu. He was sitting. And the teacher came up to him and said, what are you figuring to do sitting there? In the old days, people used to ask people what they were doing sitting. Teacher, Teacher Shirtow says to Yashan, What are you thinking? What are you intending sitting there? What kind of thinking or intending is going on when you're sitting still and upright? And Yashan said,

[25:54]

I'm not doing anything at all. And Shirtos says, Then are you sitting idly? And Yashan said, If I were sitting idly, I would be doing something. And then Shirtos says, You say you're not doing anything at all sitting there. what is this not doing anything at all? And Yashan said, even the 10,000 sages don't know. How can a foolish common person like me know? So we are foolish common people who are doing a practice of nothing at all. But we are still foolish common people who might, you know, have something to confess, which is, I've been trying to get something.

[27:06]

I've been trying to attain something. I confess and repent that I'm trying to get something out of this just sitting. I would at least like to get an understanding of what just sitting is. I've been trying to make a Buddha. I've been trying to be a bodhisattva. That's something I can do. I wanna get the bodhisattva assurance. I'm trying to get something. There's a little bit of, there's a hair's breadth difference there. I confess it. So I'm doing a practice of Buddha, and I'm a foolish, common person who's trying to get a hold of something. They're both there. Nice to see you, Rev.

[28:17]

Good to see you both. And please allow me to ask two questions, one for Thomas, one for myself. Thomas is not comfortable to speak English, so I will speak for him. Thank you for serving, Thomas. he's studying these days he's studying your comments on the 30 verses of Vasubandhu and he's swimming deeply there so can I say something? Vasubandhu sometimes used to go on retreats and he would during the retreats, he would sit in a tub of sesame seeds and people would recite the sutras to him while he was swimming in sesame seeds.

[29:17]

Really? Okay. But anyway, Thomas is swimming morning and day and night. So today his question is around the 26th of that verse. And just to read the translation of 26, one English translation is, as long as consciousness does not terminate in mere concept, So long will the disposition for the twofold grasping not cease. Thomas' question is, what kind of consciousness is this? Could you please say something about this verse? I would say it's a consciousness where there's not a hair's breadth difference between the consciousness and the teaching of vijñapti-mātra, of mere consciousness.

[30:45]

When there's not the slightest bit difference between the consciousness which has duality in it, when there's not the slightest bit difference between the consciousness and the teaching, the dharma, that nothing is anything but a concept. So in a sense, in that no separation between the consciousness and that teaching, in the lack of any separation, the ordinary consciousness is terminated. because ordinary consciousness has separation. As a matter of fact, I think the word that's used for consciousness there is vijnana, which means discriminating consciousness, which means consciousness... So as long as the consciousness which discriminates doesn't terminate the discrimination,

[31:50]

you have not yet reached vijñapti-mātra, mere concept. Is that the way they translate there, mere concept? Yeah. Yeah. So the separation, there has to be in this kind of miracle that in consciousness we reach a place where there's no separation. And the way we reach it is by confession and repentance of separation. So I'm an ordinary person who has ordinary consciousness which makes separation, and I'm giving this mind to no separation. But I'm still involved in the separation. I can't get away from it. But I'm practicing kindness to my ordinary separating mind.

[32:56]

And by practicing confession of my ordinary separating mind, which is trying to understand something other than what's going on, to have some different understanding from this. This is our ordinary mind, which I confess and repent. That process of confessing and repenting before the Buddha melts away the root of making the separation. When the root of making the separation melts away, the mind terminates in mere concept. There's just the concept and there's no separation between the consciousness and the concepts. Thank you for swimming in the teaching. Thank you, Rick. Can I ask my question now? I've been studying or contemplating on five standards these days, and also contemplating your teaching these days on atoms, one-atom samadhi.

[34:09]

I'm thinking... So, atom can be phenomenon, if I'm correct, of five standards. So, it can be anything. And... We can see the ascanda. Ascanda is a collection. Ascanda means it's a collection. So, it's a collection of atoms. For example, the feeling collection, the perception collection. the feeling skanda. So there's lots of atoms in each skanda. And then so to enter samadhi on one atom of feeling, we enter all atoms. And we realize that the atom of feeling, are ungraspable and empty.

[35:15]

Yes, or you put it in another words, in another talk, each phenomena does not have existence in their own being. But I'm thinking though, although phenomenas or five skandhas have no self being existence, are they actually the function of Buddha nature? The reason I'm thinking about this is because Buddha nature, if Buddha nature reaches everywhere, it sounds like a source for everything, source even for phenomena or from skandhas or providing energy or whatever.

[36:20]

So is Buddha nature actually there in every phenomena or is from functional perspective is supporting all those activities, including five skandhas. Or to put it in another way. Well, before you put it another way, can you just say, you said earlier about the function of Buddha nature. So does the function of Buddha nature is that it pervades everything. That's its function. And so what does that mean in terms of practice? It seems to me that it would mean that you would enter everything sort of as a servant of Buddha nature.

[37:29]

You would study everything Because Buddha nature doesn't skip over anything. So you don't skip over anything. So you study everything and then you practice in a way to celebrate the Buddha nature which pervades everything. Because your practice now is just like that. But you're not doing anything, you're celebrating what's already happening is that Buddha nature is pervading all beings. You're celebrating it by respecting all beings and entering samadhi on all beings, all atoms. And so when you enter, that's Buddha nature's function. Your entering is Buddha nature's function. And when it enters you, that's Buddha nature function.

[38:34]

And that's already going on. That's Buddha nature function. Your responsibility and your opportunities to celebrate this, it's already going on and you can celebrate it right now. So can I also say that every atom or everything has not slightly difference as Buddha nature? Yeah. There's not a hair's breadth difference between any atom and Buddha nature. And so there's nothing for any atom to get or any skanda to get. because it's already inseparable from Buddha nature. However, we need to practice it. But, being ordinary people, we try to get something.

[39:38]

So we have a lot of times we notice we're not just celebrating Buddha nature, We're trying to get something. We're trying to get something either in the practice or in daily life. We're trying to get something. So don't skip over that because that's another atom. Buddha nature is pervading our making a difference between Buddha nature and other things. So our mind makes that difference, but that's another thing that Buddha nature pervades. But we have to admit that there was an involvement in separation. It's not fair in a way that we want to practice a way where there's nothing to get and we're just celebrating it to realize it. And at the same time, secretly, we're trying to get something. That we're sneakily trying to get something in a situation where there's nothing to get. And I want to get that.

[40:39]

Oops, I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about that. Not just sort of noticing it that I'm trying to get something and also being somewhat embarrassed or feel somewhat sad that I'm still doing these petty human projects secretly sort of under the table while I'm trying to celebrate something that nothing, no one can get. Even the 10,000 sages don't know it. How can ordinary people? They can't either. However, ordinary people are trying to get it. But they can still try to do the practice. They just have to admit that they're trying to get something even though there's nothing to get. But we have to celebrate. We have to celebrate. So are you celebrating now? I think so. And your celebration is not the slightest bit separate from mine.

[41:39]

Would you also say that Buddha nature also have no self being existence? Buddha nature has no self. Yeah, Buddha nature also does not exist at all on its own. That's how it can pervade. That's how it can pervade. If it had any self existence, it would have hindrance to pervade everything. But it doesn't have any hindrance, because it has no existence on its own. Thank you, Buddha Nature. Thank you. Thank you, Rick. By the way, I just want to mention, you know, I did stop halfway through the story. And so maybe next time we meet, I'll go into the harder part of the story.

[42:44]

Yes, Enrique. Hello, Rob. Hello. Great assembly. Homage to the icebergs. This was the icebergs pictures taken almost 10 years ago. in Iceland and I returned to the same place recently and many of the icebergs are gone. I think that other people think it's because the planet is changing and getting warmer and it was kind of sad to see, but so I remind myself that, you know. Thank you. Everything's changing. Thank you for reminding us. I wanted to say about my intention when I originally started practice was that I was very unhappy and I had this notion that maybe I should try this thing called Buddhism.

[44:01]

And really the only kind that I knew or was familiar with was the Zen style. And I found that there was a zendo practice place about a mile from my house. And so I thought my intention was to feel better, but also to take advantage of the convenience of the zendo that I could walk to. And I found the walking to and the sitting and the walking back home very beneficial over the years. So I have to say that my intention was selfish because, you know, it was all about me really wanting to feel better. And over time, I thought, well, as I learned more about the practice that, okay, I'm not supposed to really want to get anything out of this, so I'll try that.

[45:03]

I was starting to feel better anyway, so that aspect sort of fell away. But I noticed, you know, within the Sangha, we have some people decided, well, we want to that we would like to receive the precepts. So some of us sewed a robe and went through the Jukai ceremony and received the precepts. And I didn't do that right away. I wasn't sure I wanted that. And besides, wasn't that like asking for something, trying to get something out of this? But eventually I decided, okay, that was another intention. Now I would like to receive the precepts, and I'm very grateful to have received them from you and to get some help from a teacher in San Antonio, Colin, with sewing the rope. So again, that's something else I got.

[46:07]

I felt like I got out of this sitting in spite of, I guess, the lesson being that there's really nothing to attain. I said, well, now I have this robe. I'm not wearing it today, but, and I have these guidelines, these precepts, and I continue sitting. Isn't that making a Buddha? Isn't that, I mean, are we, Is it really true that we're not getting anything out of the practice? I guess that's my question. Yeah. Well, so thank you for your confession of your earlier days when you were trying to get something from the practice. And that's necessary for us to admit. We're like that too. We're all like that. But then as we keep practicing, we hear a teaching now that there's nothing to attain. But we need to practice. So we need to admit we're trying to get something, and we need to practice to celebrate that there's nothing to get.

[47:15]

If we don't celebrate nothing to get, then we'll just continue to try to get things. That's all there'll be, trying to get something. In other words, we think there's something separate from us. Some happiness is just separate from us. Now we have a teaching which says, actually, it's not that there's no happiness, it's just that there's no happiness that exists on its own. And if you want to realize that, and realizing that there's no happiness that exists by its own nature, by its own being, there's no happiness that exists by its own being, realizing that you see by Rojana Buddha. And seeing by Rojana Buddha, you become free and happy, even though there's no happiness that exists at all on its own. So, you're confessing your humanness, and now you're also confessing that you've heard now about a practice where there's nothing to gain, nothing to attain.

[48:27]

The precepts are about nothing to attain. Not killing is about nothing to attain. If you think there's something to attain, you're at risk of killing. If you think there's something to get, you're at risk of stealing. But understanding that there's nothing to attain, there is no killing. There is no stealing. So these are precepts of nothing to attain, but we must celebrate the precepts of nothing to attain in order to realize the actual nothing to attain, without skipping over that we're human beings who are trying to get something, who are trying to attain something. So I'm trying to attain something, I confess that, I can't get away from that. The world of karmic cause and effect is unavoidable, but by confessing and repenting, my ordinariness, I get ready to celebrate something beyond ordinary and not ordinary.

[49:30]

Something where there's no separation between ordinary and Buddha. I celebrate that. And I can learn to celebrate it without a hair's breadth difference by confessing all the little differences where I'm trying to get something. So your story is the story of all of us. So you received the precepts, and maybe when you received them, you were trying to get something. But it's not too late to celebrate the precepts, which are about how you didn't get anything when you received them. Just what I always wanted, nothing. Yeah. Thank you very much. You're welcome. We're not trying to get anything, Angela, so don't worry.

[50:51]

We're not trying to get your voice, but you are muted. I'm not trying to get your teeth, but I do see them. So you know you're muted, right, Angela? Well, we don't usually do this, but if you can't get unmuted, and nobody can help you get unmuted, maybe you could just give us a chat about what you're saying, and I can talk to your chat. Or I could learn to lip read. We could all learn to lip read. I believe chat is disabled for this meeting. So perhaps you could text your question to me and I could read it.

[51:59]

Great assembly. It's so wonderful. We're not trying to get anything. Part of us is not trying to get anything. And the other part of us wants to get something. Bottom left-hand corner. Angela, you want to keep working on that and we'll come back to you if you can get unmuted. Thank you. Is that unmuting?

[53:12]

Did that unmute me? Oh, okay. Thank you so much. It's wonderful to be here with the Great Assembly and to be with you. I think my question is, and I'm kind of swimming around on everybody else's question, in the nothing to attain, it's because it's already here anyway. The Buddha body is already pervading us, so there's nothing to attain. Right. And realizing there's nothing to attain, we're a bodhisattva. But we need to celebrate that. We need to jump up and down and sing songs and sit down and not move to celebrate that Buddha doesn't move and can go everywhere. Yes, thank you. Buddha doesn't need to move and pervades everything. Yes.

[54:14]

So there's nothing to attain, but practice is required in order to realize that. Right. What I notice that hangs me up is I will hold against. I'll either be wanting to grab or hold against. Yeah. That's where we live. Yeah, that's where we live. Grab land. But it's so beautiful that it's already here all the time anyway. Perhaps it has waited for us, as my beloved teacher, thank you, Barry would say. Perhaps it has waited for us. Anyway, thanks so much. I practice so that I can just be and to be present. I just want to make sure I was on the right track, but I have a feeling I probably was. Thank you for being a wonderful teacher and a great Buddha. How do I get out of there now?

[55:19]

Okay, good. Hello. Yes, welcome, Darren. I celebrate the Buddha. and the Great Assembly, with the Great Assembly and with me and with you. Thank you. And I confess, I confess that when I began my meditation, I was not very happy with myself and I wanted to escape my suffering. I wanted to find a way to quiet everything, to maybe not experience anything. And in that exploration to find nothing, over several months, many months perhaps, not really knowing what I was doing, I found everything.

[56:34]

There was insight into emptiness. interdependent being, acceptance of my suffering, greater compassion for everything, all beings. And I'm always grateful for that. It's been with me for many years. And I've noticed that if I don't sit, if I don't nourish that Buddha nature to, to be intimate with it, that it can get clouded and I, I can be consumed in all the, all the things that are about that little piece of me that's managing to navigate its way through the world somehow. So I confess to Buddha that sometimes I neglect Buddha's nature.

[57:43]

And I celebrate when I come back to it. And so I celebrate being among the Great Assembly and listening to the Dharma. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Hello, great teacher and hello, assembly. Thank you for your patience. I didn't want to miss an opportunity. I didn't want to skip over revealing that I am a foolish common person. And I appreciate you and the assembly bringing up those words today and confessions.

[58:56]

And I would like to confess to trying to get something from my last email to you. I don't know if you have any recollection of that. But as I was able to sit with the email after sending it, I was able to recognize trying to get something. And on one hand, that felt positive, encouraging. And on the other hand, I felt sorrow And I just would like to say that my intention is to continue to sit in concentration so that we all beings together can mature in this practice.

[60:14]

that is so dear and life-changing. Just briefly, I was sitting with my dad in a hospital room for three days. He was discharged in his home, but he has a lot of fear and it manifests in anger. to be able to be present for him. Intention Roshi, not go into the closet, as I have shared with you before as a child. So I'm deeply grateful to all beings, to this assembly, to the Buddhists, and I celebrate practice. Thank you. Thank you. And is that sorrow that you felt, is that repentance?

[61:17]

Yes. The pure and simple color of true practice. Good morning, Rev. Good morning, Great Assembly. Thank you. Everybody, continue teaching. I was interested in the part of the story about polishing a piece of clay in order to get it to be a mirror. And I spent a lot of time in my glass career polishing glass, and it takes a lot of patience to get the smooth, finished surface. And especially if you're doing it by hand on another piece of glass, you use a medium. And I recognize that, I think in the story, it's also about patience being, it's not so much trying to get the clay to become a mirror, but it's to realize something about yourself as you're doing this process, perhaps.

[62:33]

And so I just wondered, because I spent time working on, I'm not always patient when I'm working and that's a reflection that's like a mirror about myself that I can be aware of when as I'm doing either my artwork which I have more patience for or my my other job, which is bookkeeping, to pay for my glass-blowing habit. So I was just interested in that part of the story. That sort of jumped out at me because I don't think, I can't imagine that he was expecting it would actually become a mirror, like the shiny thing that you look at yourself in, but that the process of working with, of just doing this It's kind of similar to sitting in a way that you're not necessarily expecting. There's nothing to expect. Does that make sense as an interpretation of that story?

[63:37]

So would you say your interpretation of the story more concisely? Well, just that perhaps the, when, when Yan Yue was, was polishing, like after he had asked the question about what are you, what are you, what are you doing when you're sitting? Then he was found polishing, you know, going through the process of polishing a piece of clay. And his students said, like, that clay is never going to become a mirror. You know, what are you doing making it a mirror? Trying to make it a mirror. That'll never become a mirror. But in a way, I think what the mirror might be is the reflection on oneself. It was his reflection on himself as he was doing this process that was never going to actually produce

[64:49]

A mirror. So the mirror shows us that there's nothing to get. Right, and maybe the sitting does too. It shows us there's nothing to get. Still, we might think we have to do something to see that. But there's nothing we can do to see that We just have to give up trying to do something to see that. That's the mirror that we want to see. The mirror shows us that there's nothing to get. So, perhaps the teacher was finding a little bit of difference between

[65:54]

he was suspecting a little bit of separation or difference in the mind of the student. That maybe he thought there was a little difference between the sitting and Buddha. And the sitting was for the sake of Buddha rather than the sitting was to show that Buddha is nothing to attain. And showing that nothing's to attain is the mirror. And Buddha is also showing there's nothing to attain. So Buddha is a mirror. Like right now, there's nothing to attain. And including there's no attainment of getting something called nothing to attain.

[66:58]

So when we offer our activity, our Buddha activity, for the benefit of all beings or for each other in our assembly, there's nothing to attain similarly? Right. And you also used the word expectation, didn't you? Did you say expect? Not just then, I don't think. When we dedicate or... I can't remember what we're doing. To offer our practice as a... To dedicate our practice, to offer our practice to the welfare of all beings, we do that with no expectation of that happening. If there's expectation, then it's like trying to make this into that. And we're never going to make this into that. But to offer this for the sake of that, without expecting that, without trying to get that.

[68:07]

So we offer this conversation to the welfare of all beings, for the happiness of all beings and the freedom of all beings, we make that offering. But we don't expect how that would look, any particular way that would look. If we do expect, then we might stop wishing, because we expected and it didn't happen. So we get discouraged and give up. But I don't expect all beings to be happy, even though we gave this conversation to the world for that purpose. But I do believe that giving this conversation to the world without expecting anything That is the happiness of all beings. That is their happiness. Right now, that is their happiness.

[69:12]

But we have to celebrate it by giving a gift of our conversation without expecting anything. And if we expect anything, then we practice confession and repentance. So we can try again to give this conversation without expecting anything. To wholeheartedly, sincerely give this for the welfare of the world without trying to get anything because we understand there's nothing to attain. So when we practice with nothing to attain, we're bodhisattva practicing. We still have ordinariness, But we're doing this practice with nothing to attain. And that's what liberates people, for us to give them gifts without expecting anything, to give them something without attaining anything when we give something. There's nothing to attain ever, but we need to celebrate it by giving something and seeing if we're trying to get something when we gave that gift.

[70:21]

If so, we practice confession and repentance and try again. And so that time I gave it and I didn't expect anything. And what happened was not what I was expecting because I wasn't expecting anything. And what happened I never would have imagined would happen, which is always the case. I can never really imagine. How are you doing, Kim? Great, thank you. How are you doing, Barry? Okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Hello, Rep. Hello, Tillman and Isabel. Yeah, so I guess it's part of a maybe confession.

[71:28]

So what I'm sometimes remember this teaching in sitting that there's nothing to get and that everything is pervaded by Buddha. And then there's part of me that wants to understand that or wants to kind of see that. Yeah, part of you wants to get understanding. Yeah. Yeah. And when I remember that, there's a thought that I can't understand it. It's not something I can see. It's not something you can see, right. Yeah. That feels quite like, I don't know, it feels like a little bit like sort of a desperation comes up at that moment that I cannot see it. Okay, now we got desperation. Yeah. So, and the desperation is calling for compassion. Yeah.

[72:31]

And giving compassion to desperation is a way to celebrate nothing to attain. So you hear about nothing to attain, there's desperation, taking care of the desperation without trying to get anything by taking care of the desperation. celebrates the thing that was just there before you got desperate. But now, you're taking care of the desperation and you're doing it without trying to get rid of it. So that's what it's like to celebrate nothing to attain. And again, celebrate not to get something, just to celebrate. Like, great! Without trying to get anything by that. Great desperation. Welcome. I love you, desperation. Beyond like and dislike. I'm with you totally. This is what you can do to celebrate nothing to attain. But again, when you hear nothing to attain, you still make it feel desperate.

[73:42]

But now you know how to practice with it. And you probably discover that The desperation came when you heard about nothing to attain because you had been thinking there was something to attain. That's why you probably find that teaching makes you feel desperate because you were trying to do stuff and now you're saying, that's not going to work. Oh my God, what should I do? And that's what Matsu said after Nanue said, how can you make a Buddha by sitting meditation? He said, what can I do? What's right? He was desperate. But then the teacher gave him more compassion and everything worked out. Thank you, teacher. You're welcome. I was celebrating being here and seeing you.

[75:02]

And actually, I was preparing myself to celebrate your birthday with this magnificent orchid that is very old. But then something happened that My hand, twice I raised my hand and it was lowered. And then that hit the spot in my heart that is most vulnerable. And that's For whatever reason, my core karma is I don't belong. I don't belong nowhere. I'm not part of anything. I'm quite aware of that. But it happened. It just happened, you know, by seeing that I raised my hand and For whatever reason, it's lower.

[76:06]

And I even sent a message to Karen that I'm raising my hand, but who's, or are you lowering my hand? But I noticed that. I noticed that. And I felt this extreme compassion in that emptiness. Of course, I was not expecting that. And I think I got the answer for my question, which was, is there any difference between bodhisattva and the Buddhas? And I think… No, there's no difference. And there's no difference between Buddhas and non-Bodhisattvas, if there are any, if there were any. There's no difference between Buddhas and every atom. There's no difference.

[77:10]

But human beings, and other living beings too, have minds which can create difference, and this ability has been somewhat useful to us in biological evolution. So, that's part of our karmic situation, is to have minds which create differences, even though there aren't any. Again, the Sanskrit word for consciousness is vijnana. It's a knowing of difference, splitting. It's a consciousness that splits the world into this and that. This is an illusion created by the mind. But we've heard about this now, so we can be compassionate to this splitting, to this difference-making. In other words, this ability, this awareness actually shines

[78:18]

the fact that this is an illusion. Yes. But seeing it does not mean there is no pain involved. No, it does not mean that. And it does not mean that that karmic causation process is going to end. But we can become free of it by admitting it, by noticing it and admitting it, in the presence of Buddha. I really celebrate your 80th birthday. Thank you for teaching all these years. Thank you for being... 80th birthday was two years ago. Is that right? When I got the message, I thought it says 80th birthday, but better, 82. 82 is coming up soon. Well, that says something again about my mind that I read things and I... Excuse me, may I say something?

[79:33]

Yeah. I would like to apologize to Rana, and I think there were several other people that I inadvertently lowered your hands. This is my first time doing this, and I just made a couple of mistakes, and I'm so sorry that I caused you heartache. It would happen anyways, because that's the setup in my mind. Thank you, Karen, for saying that. Hello, Rep. Good to see you. Hello, Karin. Hello, Great Assembly.

[80:34]

Good to see you too. Actually, I think my question is already answered, especially when you were talking to Kim, but also just in doing what you're doing or what we are doing. And the question was, what would be a good way to celebrate? Well, Kim's work could be a celebration of nothing to attain, rather than her work being the celebration of something to get. So she, you know, in your work, you have work too, don't you? you could do your music as a celebration of nothing to attain. Since there's nothing to attain, let's have a song. Let's have a cello sound. Let's have a symphony since there's nothing to attain.

[81:37]

Let's celebrate nothing to attain by a great symphony, a great song. Yeah, it's so wonderful. All of our work, can celebrate nothing to attain. And we need to do that to realize the bodhisattva way. And that's what liberates everybody, is to use whatever we're doing to celebrate nothing to attain. That's what we teach people. I like that thought, to celebrate by giving a gift without attaining anything. Thank you for this gift. I don't see any more yellow hands.

[82:45]

Well, I have my, my yellow hand keeps popping down. This is Brendan. Okay, Brendan. I put it up and it pops down. So, okay, here I am. Good, thank you. So, what I find a little bit paradoxical in my sitting is following the breath and just being in the posture and realizing there's nothing to obtain, there's a spontaneous happiness that comes up. And the happiness feels like it's quite deep, like it's not a created happiness, it's just a background of what is. And then my mind will start running, and then it's like I want to go back there, but I realize that wanting to go back there doesn't allow me to go back there.

[84:08]

So this is my... Wanting to go back there is contradicting nothing to attain. Yes, exactly. And it's painful. Yes, that is my confession. Thank you for the gift. Hello.

[85:12]

Hello. Am I on? I guess. Yes, I just had a short comment, which was sometimes I feel like I have a number of different personalities that pop up at different times. And sometimes some of them are always looking for ways to escape from things I don't like. And others seem to be on the lookout for things that I want to grab onto and other varieties. And I find it helpful if I can, if I don't, when I'm able to not identify with any of them and they'll pop up occasionally, but I don't have to be those comments. I was thinking of an example when I was at the three-week intensive at Green Gulch.

[86:18]

As I was walking into the area in the kitchen where you go to put your dishes after you finish using them and you're supposed to wash them off, well, I don't like to put my hands in the dirty water. So part of me was thinking, now, am I going to be able to avoid that? Is somebody else washing dishes? Will I be able to put them in? I was trying very hard to figure out some way I could avoid putting my hands in the water. And I kind of laughed at it. And I actually ended up, since somebody was in the process of washing their dishes, when I came over, I actually put my plate beside the tub there. And as I was walking out of the kitchen area, then one of the practice leaders asked me if I had washed my dishes. I said, no. She said, you should. I said, yes, I should. I walked back in the kitchen. Why did she say that? She must have tuned into the part of me that was looking for a way to avoid it.

[87:25]

It was working pretty hard when I walked in there. But it's very helpful when I can hear those voices without having to identify with what they're telling them. And then it's not like it's a constant problem that's bothering me. It's just something that pops up and I can listen to it or not to it and say, oh, that's okay. Don't worry. It'll be all right. Yeah. Yeah, those voices are calling for compassion. Yeah. May they receive it. I'm sorry? May they receive it. Yes, I'll try. Yeah, thank you. You're welcome.

[88:18]

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