May I say that suffering is induced by karma, which is motivated by defiled emotions, which are grounded in a misperception of the nature of phenomena. I'm not suggesting that we chant our verse, but I just wrote it a little differently. Essentially, all my ancient twisted karma, from beginningless greed, hate, and delusion, carried out through body, speech, and mind, originally arising from a superimposition

[01:12]

of false status on impermanent phenomena, I'm now fully evolved. So, this beginningless greed, hate, and delusion has an origin in this superimposition of a false imputation onto impermanent phenomena. So, in trying to discuss with you how to meditate

[02:45]

on impermanent phenomena, which, as we see in the Sutra, is the first type of meditation the Buddha recommends, in order to finally understand how we falsely superimpose or superimpose falsity on top of other dependent phenomena, first we try to develop some intimacy with other dependent phenomena before we then turn to look at the teachings of how we overlay them. So, the ancestors' teaching about the samadhi of the womb of light, he says,

[04:07]

is, trust everything to inhalation and exhalation, and leap into, or jump into, the womb of light and don't look back. When we begin to meditate, some of us anyway, most beings, when they begin their meditation, the way they see impermanent phenomena is with the overlay of more substance. They put more substance, the mind of most beings puts more substance, or an appearance of more substance over impermanent things, so that to most people, impermanent things

[05:08]

don't look as impermanent as they would look without that overlay. As a matter of fact, they look pretty permanent and solid, and they look like they last. So, even if one were an ordinary person like that, hearing the instructions of trust everything to inhalation and exhalation, the inhalation and exhalation might appear, actually, more solid than they really are. One can see a little bit of change there, but still maybe feels more solidity than really is, even in breath. The instruction could be also, trust everything to posture, and then leap into the womb of light. In this instruction, the first part is, well, let me just say that there is a tendency in

[06:17]

hearing these instructions to think that there's some way that you could do the leaping. Another way to say the instruction is, in trusting everything to inhalation and exhalation, there is a leaping into the womb of light. Trusting everything to inhalation and exhalation, being with some appearance like an inhalation and exhalation, completely, by giving oneself completely to the inhale or the exhale, and giving up all reservation from just inhaling, there might be a simultaneous giving up of

[07:25]

resistance to the way the breath is, the resistance which is supported by imagining it to be more solid than it is. As we become less resistant to the appearance of the breath, we also may open to its impermanence. As we open to the impermanence of the breath, of the breathing, we also open to its other dependent character. It appears to be self-existent. Our practice appears to be self-produced. As we give up all reservation to this appearance, we may give up, there may be giving up of

[08:33]

resistance to the appearance of the other dependence of the breathing. In this way, there is giving up resistance to the natural leaping into and just plain in the womb of light. The womb of light is the womb of the other dependent character. It's the womb in which the light of the dependent co-arising of the breath appears. And the dependent co-arising of the breath is called light because you can't grasp light and you can't grasp the other dependent character. However, it does seem that you can grasp the self-dependent character, the solid character,

[09:42]

the imputed character, can be grasped. Hearing the teachings that phenomena have this nature that they depend on others, something other than themselves, and that you, the meditator, depend on something other than yourself, and then being with these things which you still don't see that way, you hear the teaching that you and all things, all these kinds of things that you can see, you hear the teaching that these are other dependent, but they still look self-dependent or self-powered and solid. You hear that they're self-other dependent and therefore impermanent, but they look permanent.

[10:45]

Accepting that this is the way it appears for the time being and completely giving yourself to this appearance, there is a revelation of being in the land of dependent co-arising, in the light of dependent co-arising. The way the breath, the way the exhalation is actually coming to be is ungraspable, like radiance, like brightness. In the process of giving yourself completely to appearances, to the way impermanent phenomena

[11:55]

can appear to you as permanent, you may also see other impermanent phenomena besides breathing, you may see the impermanent phenomena of the other dependent phenomena of the impulse to, as someone said to me yesterday, gain some purchase on the process of meditation, or gain some purchase on the womb of light. You may see that impulse. That impulse is another dependent co-arising, is another other dependent phenomena.

[12:55]

When you give yourself completely to, for example, the body, the other dependent phenomena of the body or the other dependent phenomena of the exhale, trusting it completely, giving yourself completely to it, at that moment, the impulse to gain purchase has been let go of. And then you again open to the leaping in the light. And then it says, leap into the womb of light and don't look back. So when you find yourself in the light, then don't look back also means don't now try to gain a purchase on the light, now that you're in it. Now that you're with the way things are in their raw, impermanent, unpredictable, unstable, unreliable,

[13:59]

other dependent way, don't look back to your way of now. Now I can cash in on the light. Trusting everything to whatever you're experiencing, for example, the breath, means give up trying to get a purchase on the breath or on the womb of light. But again, if you notice that impulse keeps finding a place and arising and pushing you, then just confess that you don't trust the teaching enough to really totally give yourself to what appears. You still are, your faith isn't strong enough to balance this impulse. Part of you wants to give yourself completely, open yourself completely,

[15:09]

so that there can be this revelation. But another part of you just wants to cash in right now and knows that it's possible. To get a little snippet of the light. It's possible that the more you or I give ourselves to impermanent phenomena, even as they appear to us still somewhat falsely, but as we give ourselves to them more and more completely, the imputation temporarily weakens. And we become more intimate with the other dependent character.

[16:14]

And one of the signs that we become more intimate with it is that our behavior starts to change. If you think you're more intimate with it, and you totally give yourself to the thought that you think you're more intimate with it, your thoughts that you're more intimate with it, or your thought that you're more intimate with it, is just another other dependent phenomena that has arisen by various causes and conditions not under your control. And if you give yourself to that, without again trying to cash in on that thought, you won't be dislodged from the meditation. But your thoughts that you're getting more intimate with the other dependent character, which again, you cannot see the other dependent character,

[17:16]

you cannot know the other dependent character, except by adhering to it as the imputational character. You cannot know it means you cannot grasp it. However, you can grasp it by grasping the imputation about it. When you give that up, you're intimate with it, and being intimate with it, you may observe your behavior changing. And if you don't observe your behavior changing, you're not yet intimate with it. And your behavior changes more from inside than from, again,

[18:19]

self-powered control of your behavior. In other words, if you try to stop yourself from being excessively involved with impermanent things, like excessively involved in trying to make impermanent things not be impermanent, if you try to stop yourself from being excessively involved in trying to protect impermanent things from their impermanence, then you probably haven't listened to this teaching deeply enough. You haven't let it in enough. I think of maybe a doctor who's trying to save the life of an impermanent living being

[19:20]

who might become excessively involved in trying to save their life. Excessively involved for a doctor, what I mean by that is that they're wrongdoing, they're not being a good doctor. They're being an unskillful doctor because they're trying to fight the impermanence of their patient. And fighting the impermanence of the patient makes them into wrong... that puts their action into wrongdoing. As they hear this teaching, they become a better doctor. They care for impermanent clients, patients, more skillfully because their involvement is just right, not excessive. And some doctors have heard this teaching,

[20:22]

it has affected them, it has transformed them, and they care for their patients with their whole heart. And because they care for their patient with their whole heart, they're with the impermanence of the patients. And being with the impermanence of the patients, they are not excessively involved with the patient. They address the momentary appearance of this other dependent phenomena, and they harmonize with the dependent co-arising of the patient who is constantly changing. When you start to notice that you're not so excessively involved, it may be that this teaching is getting to you. Again, if you notice you are excessively involved,

[21:23]

involved in wrongdoing, then confess it, confess your action, and confess that this teaching is not reaching you yet, apparently. One Zen teacher said, I think something like, gaining is enlightenment, no, gaining is delusion, losing is enlightenment. Or gain is delusion, loss is enlightenment. That may be over... The loss is enlightenment may be overstating the case,

[22:30]

but I thought it was an interesting thing to look at, because most beings consider gain enlightenment and loss delusion, or loss anyway, bad. But actually, bodies, friends, families, trees, oceans, mines, are being lost constantly. Constantly. And then, that isn't the end of the story, then there's an appearance again, and then you lose that. So this is like enlightenment, but to gain stuff,

[23:31]

to be able to hold it and let it grow, that's delusion, according to that statement, anyway. So again, I don't recommend that you try to stop yourself from being excessively involved in impermanent things. I don't really recommend that. I do recommend, however, that you look to see if you are excessively involved. And then, if you are, confess it, and then, again, you might give yourself another little installment of the teaching about other dependent phenomena, that phenomena have this character,

[24:33]

that most things you're looking at have this character. And then, see if it touches you, so that from the inside, you actually don't, you actually don't feel like getting excessively involved with impermanent things. You feel like taking care of them in a way that's not excessive. See, from the inside, you want to take care of things that's not excessive, which means, again, in Soto Zen, that you take care of all impermanent phenomena. Not taking care of not being excessively involved in impermanent phenomena means that you are involved with them in the appropriate way. And excessive involvement would mean

[25:37]

that you were involved in some and not in others. That would be excessive involvement. Maybe I'll stop there, because that might be something that was difficult to understand. I said, if you are not excessively involved with impermanent phenomena, then you will take care of every impermanent phenomena you meet. But if you're excessively involved with impermanent phenomena, some of them you meet you won't take care of, because of your excessive involvement. For example, some people, because you're excessively involved with them, and the reason why you're excessively involved with them is because you think they're self-powered and impermanent. Self-powered and permanent. Because you think they are self-powered and permanent, you are excessively involved with them. Excessive involvement is based on that misconception.

[26:40]

Okay? Then because you see them as self-powered and permanent, you are excessively involved and your excessive involvement takes the form of you ignoring them. In other words, the way they appear to you is that they're a self-powered, permanent jerk. And because of that view, you become excessively involved and you make considerable effort to get away from them or get them away from you. This is excessive involvement. If you're a doctor, you might make excessive effort to get rid of bad patients, to give somebody else the patients you won't be able to save. The ones who are like maybe giving you a hint of impermanence, who are like

[27:42]

appearing to you in a way that, you know, you're feeling a lot of pain around seeing them as permanent and self-dependent. That particular thing, you become excessively involved by trying to get rid of them. And vice versa. Another thing is that some people you see or some things you see as permanent and self-produced, the way the self-involvement, the excessive involvement manifests is that you want to give them a lot of attention and don't pay attention to anything else that's happening. So when somebody else walks up, you don't notice them, even though this other dependent phenomena is coming to you. You don't pay attention to it because you're so interested in this one. Does that make sense? Ever seen that happen? I mean, I know you don't do that, but at cocktail parties, you notice people doing that. To you, right? And their excessive involvement with you

[28:49]

takes the form of, you know, either not paying attention to you or paying too much attention to you. When you hear this teaching, you start to see that all these dependent co-arisings are impermanent and you start to take care of each one. They become more equal to you. Not equal like, no, the difference doesn't matter, but equal like you take care, you know, each one deserves your best presence. And it's getting it. That's why you can see the impermanence or feel the impermanence. That as you open to the impermanence, which you can't necessarily see, as you open to the other dependence,

[29:50]

which you can't necessarily see, because you're giving up, getting a purchase on it, by which you can see it, as you open to it, you change. That's why, again, if you try to get a purchase on other dependence, that actually can block you actually opening to the, to letting it work on you, to letting the other dependent thing you're meeting make, you know, massage your other dependence into reality, which takes the form of appropriate behavior called virtue. Again, trying to practice the Bodhisattva exercises of giving and precepts and so on without hearing this teaching, we become excessively involved in giving, which again takes the form of, you know, really believing that there's

[30:51]

a permanent self-produced giver, a permanent self-produced receiver, and a permanent self-subsistent gift. And before you can actually see the emptiness of the three, you open to their impermanence, and you can notice that you open to the impermanence partly by noticing whether you have a balanced response to the giving process. In other words, paying attention to each manifestation of it with equal generosity. Caring for each thing, but not too much. Like, I remember one time, Suzuki Roshi's wife said, you know, Zen priests are not supposed to be too picky, and I think it means too picky with their students. So,

[31:53]

they're also not supposed to be too laissez-faire. So, if you see your students as permanent and self-dependent, that can lead you to two forms of extreme involvement. One form of extreme involvement is this person appears to be a low-quality student, a permanent low-quality student, and one response to that would be, forget them. Write them off. Send them to some other teacher that you don't like. I highly recommend this person, really. Please take good care of them. The other side it can take is to pick at them all the time. You're doing this wrong.

[32:57]

Try to get them this, you know, permanent thing. Try to get this permanent thing to be a different permanent thing. Try to make this low-quality student into at least mediocre student by picking at them. So, one instruction for Zen teachers is, well, actually, I think maybe Confucius says this too. One of the things he says, correct every third mistake in the student. Or, you know, he says, correct every tenth. Don't pick on them all the time, and you won't do that if you're in touch with the other dependents, because the other dependents mean they're not making themselves. You're not making yourself. In the light, you still will relate to these impermanent phenomena, but through the light.

[33:58]

So you won't be so picky. You'll wait for the right time to say, would you like some feedback? And when they say, no, thank you, you know. You take care of that too. And what is the way to take care of that? That impermanent other produced no thank you. What do you, how do you relate to, to it? You trust everything to it and open to the womb of light. And then from the light you come back

[34:59]

with the statement. Did you say no thank you? And they say, yes I did, but I didn't mean it. And so on. Things go forward in the practice. If you keep remembering this teaching, keep remembering, be mindful of this teaching, means first of all remember it and then look at it, go into it, and let it into you and see if it makes you really take care of everything that you meet, basically equally. Or, you notice that some people you're really picky and some people you really don't want anything to do with. Or is it that you take care of every single person you meet in just the right way. And as I say, you take care of them,

[36:00]

but really they're taken care of because your behavior is now being reformed through the absorption of the teaching of interdependence, through the teaching that your behavior is another other dependent phenomena which is not under your control. Or just one other person's control. It's through, your behavior is arising from an inconceivable process which you can open to by trusting everything to your current you know, impression of what's happening and not trying to get anything out of it. Or if you are, confess it, that you're trying to get something out of it and reiterate your wish to enter into the meditation on the other dependent

[37:01]

character phenomena. This practice doesn't stop. I shouldn't say it doesn't stop, I mean on the path it doesn't stop. You use everything as an opportunity to ground yourself in the practice of using everything as an opportunity. Which means every impermanent phenomena should be known and met and related to as it actually is which is beyond your ideas of it, beyond your stories of it, because no story can accurately, fully depict dependent origination. And with this way, if you will, you're going to be with this other dependent phenomena

[38:02]

which means also to accept and live the teaching that all phenomena, all compounded phenomena have this quality. You start to practice this way, you start to live this way, or you continue to live this way. But as we, again, as we move into the other aspects of the teaching, you keep doing this practice. So you listen to the teachings about how the imputational process goes. You listen to that as another example. As you're hearing the teachings, this is another other dependent phenomena coming to you which, again, you may be misconstruing teachings about imputation with imputations then you learn to confess that and that helps you be totally trusting in that process and, again, open to the other dependent character of the imputation process. The imputation, the imagining

[39:03]

is an other dependent. The process by which you impute is an other dependent phenomena. And it actually comes to be through causes and conditions. Even though this thing that comes to be through causes and conditions imagines things that don't come to be through causes and conditions. But there really is the dependently co-arisen phenomena of imagining non-dependently co-originating phenomena of imagining things that do not exist. There is the existence of imagining of things that don't exist. Did you have your hand raised? I did. I was going to ask if you could cover it a bit what to do in the case of wanting to

[40:07]

or not be excessively involved to the extent of picking and choosing how much attention gets paid to some situation really wanting to do that but feeling over time that I have less control over that decision actually. The decision about how much attention gets paid to something is way outside my control. Well that's a multifaceted event the question was. The first part was wanting to be not excessively involved. That's the first. That's the dependently co-arisen phenomena. The wanting to not be excessively involved. So don't skip over that one. That's an opportunity right there. Okay, there's that. How do you take care of that? The wanting to not be excessively involved or the wanting to practice virtue. In fact you do all day we do always have experiences of other dependent phenomena. Wanting to treat equally

[41:12]

is a positive way of saying not excessively involved. So a dependent co-arising in the form of feeling a desire to treat things equally. Feeling a desire to not be excessively involved. That desire arises. Don't skip over that. Take care of that. Don't get excessively involved in the desire to not get excessively involved. It's often deeply subconscious or anyway it's not something you don't necessarily again you say deeply subconscious but another way to put it is the wish to not get excessively involved with things, the wish to practice virtue, the wish to not screw everything up. That wish also is a dependent co-arising which I'm not in control of, you're not in control of, we're not in control of. You can't like you can imagine that you can make the wish to not be

[42:13]

excessively involved but that again that attitude, that understanding, that imagination is the source of excessive involvement. So, you told a story but I wanted to catch right away that noticing the wish to practice virtue, that wish is a dependent co-arising. So take care of that. First of all, before you even get into it, you know, what that would be, take care of the wish. Hey, hi wish! Hi! And you might even say what a wonderful wish, what a radiant wish, what an impermanent wish, what an undependable wish. I have no confidence in this wish. And that, so now that means you're listening to the teaching of other dependent nature of phenomena and you're applying it to this wish to realize that teaching by not being

[43:13]

excessively involved and you're applying it to that wish. Now, you've just done probably what facilitates the realization of that wish. The wish to you know, have appropriate relations with impermanent phenomena, that wish, when you relate to the wish realizing that it's impermanent, you have just realized the wish. So don't, don't skip over the wish and start talking, get ahead of the wish. Okay, now that we've done that, what's your question? Well, you know, there's also this bodhisattva aspect of life of being in the mix of things and having it look like there's a limited amount of attention and a lot of it goes here and not enough of it goes there and so on. So after... And when it looks like that,

[44:15]

that's not, that's not, that's the way it looks, that's the way it's appearing, that's another dependent core arising. That it looks like more, more attention is going here than there, that's what it looks like, that's a dependent core arising. That, that image of like, boy, she's really taking care of that but she's overlooking this, there's that image. You could, you know, or I'm, I'm really, I'm really and I'm excessively involved there. There's that, you notice that. Or anyway, I'm putting a lot of energy here and not much over there and I actually don't want to put much over there. I mean, I don't want to put any over there. So you notice that, that's a dependently core arising image of distribution of attention. Then you work with that. Now, of course you might, but what sometimes happens is that people do not work with that. So that, that, that, that kind of, disproportionate allocation of love is sometimes overlooked.

[45:18]

But that's another example of, you don't want to look at that one, that wasn't, that's not a very attractive one. So you're not going to give much attention to that one. But if you can notice the disproportionate allocation then you can confess it. You can say, there it is, I'm really giving this person a lot of attention but not the person next to her. I confess. That's what it looks like. What's the teaching again? And then you listen to the teaching and the teaching then starts to maybe change the balance a little bit. If you start, listen, listen, listen, still, still not even, listen, still not even, listen, still not even, listen, it's starting to get even. I'm starting to see the impermanence of these two. And as I see their impermanence I feel better about giving them both my whole heart. So, again, some people actually, you may not know this,

[46:23]

but some people prefer inhales over exhales. And some other people prefer exhales over inhales. They think for meditation exhales are really better. There's more letting go on the exhale. It's more spiritual. It's like meditation on death, after all. Whereas meditation on inhales is like meditation on birth. So it's more like Buddhists to meditate on the exhale. So you confess that. And the more you confess that you actually have a kind of like give more attention to exhales than inhales, the more you confess that the more you start to open up. Actually, also the more attention you give to both of them. The more you confess that you give more attention to one than the other, the more you start giving your whole attention to both. And the more you start giving your whole attention to both, the more you start to see

[47:24]

the impermanence of both. And the more you see the impermanence of both, the more you give your full attention to both. And the more you give attention, full attention to both, the more you see that they're both dependent co-arisings and they're both unreliable, they're both not worthy of confidence, and they both deserve your complete compassion. And then if you notice that the compassion gets uneven again, and one of them is getting like 80%, the other one is getting 20%, you confess it, and the more you confess it, the more you start to open up, the more they start evening out, and the more you start to open up to what it is about them that makes them both worthy of your full heart. And when you see it that way, you don't have to try to even it out anymore. It's quite natural. So, like, once again, some people have said to me, you have just the students you deserve.

[48:28]

In other words, not the students that I would pick. Of course, that doesn't apply to you. When I say that, people say, well, which one am I? Am I the ones that you would pick or not? Of course, people who ask that question, you know what kind they are. And the people who have that question but don't say it, you know what kind of people they are. And the people who don't have that question, you know what kind of people they are. And the people who don't have that question but say it anyway, you know what kind of people they are. But that means, having the kind of students you deserve means you have the kind of students such that, you know, it's pretty clear that they're not your students because, what? Because they're better than other people or something, they're your students because they're all the same. And they're not, they don't look the same, but they're all the same.

[49:34]

How are they all the same? What's the same about them all? They're unreliable, they're impermanent, and they're unstable, they're not worthy of confidence, and they're all interested in Buddhadharma. They're tall and short, you know, gay and straight, etc., black and white, but there's something the same about all of them, but they don't look the same on the surface. They aren't all little rebs. I deserve students who aren't little rebs. Little rebs would really be a trap, but I don't have them.

[50:46]

Occasionally there's a yearning for one of them, but I don't have them. I have students that are really all the same. Therefore they should all get the same attention, because really they are the same. And if I treat them differently, I should confess whether that difference is based on the permanent view of them, this is like, this person really is substantially great and this person is substantially less than that, and therefore this one gets more than that. I confess that, and then I remember the teaching, or I remember the teaching and I confess it, or I remember the teaching and I stop that. I mean it stops. Not I stop it. It stops because of remembering the teaching. I don't make it stop. Remembering the teaching makes it stop. But remembering the teaching is not even that remembering the teaching by itself makes it stop, because remembering the teaching that nothing by itself makes that equality occur.

[51:55]

It's actually the way things already are. It's actually the light that's already here. It's actually the light of dependent co-arising of our relationship that's already here. We just have to stop resisting it, and again, the way we stop resisting it is to stop resisting every event, and the way we stop resisting every event is that we don't do it. And the way we don't do it is, it's actually what's happening. By everything making it happen, not by me making it happen. And if I think I do make it do it, I confess that that's my perspective. I confess I think I make giving up my resistance to the light happen. I confess it. In other words, I'm not in the light right now. I confess it. When I'm in the light, I don't think I make myself in the light. I feel gratitude that I'm in the light, rather than pride that I got myself into the light. And in the light, of course, you see the light.

[53:03]

You see the light of every other dependent phenomenon. The light of other dependents, and everyone is beautiful. And then you might notice the, what do you call it, the impulse to gain a purchase on that beauty, and then you confess that, and go back to work. And, again, as you said, it's not under your power, both the seeing things as self-produced is not under your power, seeing them as permanent is not under your power, it happens, it's not all your fault. So you don't have, when you are seeing things as self-produced, you're ashamed or proud.

[54:07]

Because when you see things as self-produced, you see yourself as self-produced, and you see yourself as a producer all by yourself. That view, from that view, you feel ashamed and proud, but that view that you have, which makes you feel ashamed and proud, in fact, you don't make it. So you really don't need to be ashamed or proud, but that's what you feel. The more you accept that, that's an earth sign that you're still not listening to the teaching as you feel ashamed and proud, the more you confess that you're in that mode, the more you are actually not resisting the way you are, the more you're totally trusting your present state of understanding. And as you stop resisting that, by confessing it, you start to relax and open to the fact

[55:11]

that you don't make what's happening happen, and then you feel grateful for how things are happening. You feel grateful for the light, rather than proud of the light. I'm proud I got myself into the womb of light, and I'm not looking back. Looking back means look back at the belief of permanence and self-power, which means when you feel proud in the light, you're looking backwards at where you came from. In other words, you're not in light anymore. Even feeling proud of other people, you know, like they self-poweredly hit that baseball. So I had this little boy, you know, it's like he hits the baseball, I'd say, �Good hit, Maceo!�

[56:13]

It was. It was a good hit. But do I feel proud because he's my grandson and he's a great batter? If I do, what do I do? I confess, �Hey, I'm a sinner!� Granddaddy a sinner? Yes, why? Because granddaddy was proud of you because you're his boy! But it's also possible to say, �Good hit, Maceo, great!� With no pride. I'm just a granddaddy puppet. I can't make you hit the ball, but I can wish that it can be hit and that you can be there and when it is, it's lovely and I'm so happy for you and me and everybody and the ball

[57:16]

and the bat, everything's like really functioning here, it's great. But I'm not proud. And you're happy for the losing team. Yeah, it's a good test. Watch the Super Bowl next Sunday and see, switch sides back and forth and see what happens to your psyche, rather than appreciating the skillfulness no matter where it comes from. As a matter of fact, you observe where it comes from, it comes from other than themselves. So, the self-power view comes, you're not in control of that, and the opening to the other power understanding, you're not in control of that, and yet conventional designations are being made somehow in this room, which are put out there to somehow guide us into

[58:27]

practices which we can't do by our own power, but when those practices happen, they realize the other dependent character, they realize the light, and in the light we can go on to study the other aspects of the teaching. But we have to be grounded in this basic meditation and basic meditation practice. Yes? So, self-power is a wrong view, but I'm asking myself right now, don't we also, in working with these teachings, have to be careful about... Excuse me, self-power is a wrong view, it's a misconception. Excuse me. A misconception of other power?

[59:45]

Yeah, right, I mean, sure, that's possible. In other words, a misunderstanding of other power. That could happen. And it's not so much exactly other power, I don't want to make a thing called other power, but just that phenomena are other-powered, that phenomena have this other-powered character. It's not that there's a thing called other power, but just that all phenomena like you and me are other-powered, we're under the influence of conditions other than ourself. And that could be misunderstood, or we could have a misconception of how that works. So part of what we're learning now is to develop a good understanding of how that works, and that good understanding would be an understanding which would help us realize it, and actually be able to be in rapport with this quality, with this character, that we actually live

[60:52]

with it, and base ourselves in it, and meditate on it, and then have our behavior transformed through being with this other-powered nature of our existence, and then we'd be ready for the other teachings. Is there, are you okay now? For now? Or did you want, are you about to say something else? Or I should say, is something else about to be said? I think one, I think one translation would be,

[62:21]

caused, and by another, I think they mean one cause, so that's another understanding of that, that no one cause makes something happen, that it's a multiplicity of conditions, none of which have, because then he goes on in the later part of that chapter to point out how there's really nothing, there's no causes, but there are conditions it seems. So he's teaching, he's trying to teach a dependent co-arising that doesn't have substantially existing causes, so he doesn't have like, because if you have substantially existing causes, then you're going to like make substantially existing effects. So things arise, but depending, that's why I say I have trouble with the word cause, because I thought in the first chapter there, which starts out, nothing arises in dependence on other, so on.

[63:25]

It sounds like a contradiction maybe, but I think it's depending on a cause. But things do arise, he does say that things arise depending on conditions. Yes? In the sense that you can't find a beginning. They have an origin, but then, you know, it's not that they just go round and round, it's with meaning of beginningless, you can't find the beginning. Because you could say, for example, greed, hate and delusion arise from this misconception, and the misconception arises from the effects of the karma, which was motivated by the greed,

[64:28]

hate and delusion. So you have misconception, greed, hate and delusion, motivating karma, karma have the consequence of the inclination to misconceive again, and lead to more greed, hate and delusion, to more karma, and so on. So where does the greed, hate and delusion start? It's kind of hard to find the beginning of it. In that sense, it's rolling around, where would you put the beginning? It's hard to find. There's not really a beginning. This whole thing is an illusion, so there's not really a beginning. I think that's what it's pointing to. Pardon? In terms of meditation, it's maybe nice to notice when you're greedy, to be able to observe it,

[65:36]

or to be able to notice that part of the reason why you're uncomfortable is because you're feeling greed. I mean, that's good to know, right? Because that's another example of taking care of an independently co-arisen phenomenon. But as you look at the greed, as it arises, you maybe see the beginning of the arising, but then you can see that actually there was a beginning of the arising, but before the arising there was conditions for it. So in a sense, it didn't really begin just at its arising, it sort of began also in its conditions, and its conditions also were laid down by past karma based on past greed. So the current greed, in some sense, has its roots in the past greed, so your own greed, in some sense, although it has an arising and ceasing, because it's an impermanent thing, its roots are beginningless. What? Yeah, right, well, actually the main thing you're avowing is the karma, in that you're

[66:50]

avowing the karma, but you could also have another verse, a greed avowal, an afflictive emotion avowal verse, but this one's like, the focus of the avowal is the karma, and then you're just mentioning a little Buddhist teaching, saying the karma comes from the greed, hate, and delusion, uses body, speech, and mind, and I added in the source in this verse. So you have a little teaching about the karma. You couldn't just say, all my ancient twisted karma I now fully avow, but you put the little teaching in there behind it, right? But then you could also take out, have another verse for confessing your greed, hate, and delusion, and another verse confessing your misconceptions, which are at the root of the greed, hate, and delusion, at the root of the karma. And actually, I suggest that, that you confess your karma, you know, levels of grossness. So you go and you confess, like somebody came in and confessed that they just robbed a bank

[67:51]

yesterday, right? So I confess that karma. Somebody else comes in and says, I was like really greedy yesterday. Somebody else comes in and says, I confess that I have the misconception that, you know, that my consciousness and what I'm aware of are substantially separate. Okay? So in one case you're confessing the misconception or your impulse to believe the imputational character. The next one you're confessing the afflictive emotions which arise from it. The other case you're confessing the karma motivated by those afflictive emotions rooted in the misconceptions. All three levels are good to confess. Because then that's also a meditation on the whole process. A vow? Turning away? No, no. A vow means you show it. You say, yeah, I'm responsible here. And it might even be that I'm responsible here, but right now I don't feel that it was

[69:00]

self-power in this activity. I didn't feel like it was under my power, but I'm still responsible and I'm responsible and I'm responsible, given my vows, to confess it. And I don't feel like my confession is by my own power either. And as a matter of fact, what I'm confessing wouldn't have happened if I remembered this teaching that I'm remembering right now. When, at that time, I confess that that's my understanding. And as a matter of fact, I also have the impulse that that's a pretty good understanding. And the teacher says, hmm... Can I have a hand over there? Yes? Yes? Yes? And the event does, the bird, the child bird does depend on the fire truck going by.

[70:01]

Then it would depend on that. And also what happened before. But, you know, the driver of the fire truck isn't the cause of the birth. The father isn't the cause of the birth. The mother isn't the cause of the birth. The womb isn't the cause of the birth. But you have all these factors together, plus the ones we can't even conceive of, and we have something happening. It's only a requirement if that is one of the conditions. Yeah, well, like, you know, I'm sorry, but, you know, if you're born on Wednesday, one of the conditions of your birth is Wednesday. I mean, if you try to cross it off, you're working back towards self-power.

[71:09]

Like, okay, well, only this part, this, in other words, only this story that I'm telling, my, you know, my story about how this happened is really the way it happened, which is, again, imputing your story of how it happened. And, you know, you can start making a list of stuff which determines the event. And that's okay, but you've got to be careful that you're not discrediting other things that are obviously present at the time. Like, for example, a bull, you know, you can say, okay, a black thing with this shape and this hardness, and so on and so forth, okay? And you can say, you can stop there. But if you notice it's in this room, you know, why not mention the room that it's in?

[72:10]

Because that's its location. Say, well, I don't want to mention that. Okay, fine. But if you notice it, why not mention that that's another condition here, that it's in this zendo, this is the bull in the zendo. It's just a condition. For this one, you know, it's not all bulls need to be in zendos to be bulls. You can find them in other rooms, but you sort of have to know the room in order to find them. Huh? You know, for you finding it in the kitchen, yeah. Is that enough? I just want to mention one other thing. And that is, I told this story before, I'll just tell it again.

[73:12]

And I don't know if it's going to happen tomorrow, but tomorrow might be a really hard lecture in terms of introducing something new to you. But I just want to say, I remember one time, I think it was David Chadwick asked Suzuki Roshi, in City Hall, no, no, he said, in the city center, you know, this is when we were still over, we had Tassajara, but we also were stationed over on Bush Street in Japantown. He said, you know, in the city center or on Pine Street or, you know, at Sokoji, you know, you give these really interesting lectures, you know, they're really entertaining and wonderful, but at Tassajara you give talks and as soon as you start talking everybody falls asleep. How come? And Suzuki Roshi said,

[74:17]

in City Hall I make them laugh, at Tassajara I tell you how it is and you all go to sleep. So, I've heard, I've gotten feedback that you really like the Sunday talks. So Sunday talks are like, you know, they're for the public. You know, I try to put it out there with a little bit of a challenge, but not too much. Slightly pre-digested. Easily, easily, you know, processed, more easily processed. But then here, you know, I try to like present to you things which are, you know, maybe not so processed, more raw. It's like sort of on the cutting edge, so to speak,

[75:20]

the growing edge of what we're doing. So it's harder, although you're not going to sleep. It's harder. These talks are harder than the Sunday ones. So that's part of the difference. So this combination is good, I think, but I just want to mention there is something like that going on. And so that's why I encourage you to, you know, be patient with difficult material that you don't understand. Rather than go over what you already understand, which is quite pleasant, something come up that you never heard before, that's going to like change you. And, you know, I remember Dogen says, it's really difficult to change the minds of sentient beings. It's very hard to change. But that's what we're trying, we're in the process of our minds changing,

[76:28]

our understanding changing. It's hard to reorganize reality. Anyway, it's going pretty well. I just thought I might mention that phenomena since I've gotten that feedback. And there'll be another one of those Sunday talks soon. Thank you. I allow to save them. Delusions are inexhaustible. I allow to defend them. Dharma is our compass.

[77:32]

I allow to join to them. Realness's way is unsurpassable. I allow to defend them.

[77:46]

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