2008.05.01-MZMC-pm

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There's a Chinese character which is sometimes translated as vāo, it's pronounced in Japanese as gān, and in Chinese, yǔrán, and it also means to wish, or to desire, or to intend. Or to pray, like when we say at the end of lots of our events in Zen, we say, may our intention, or may the merit of this, that character is that character.

[01:00]

Or we pray that the merit of our practice will be turned over to the welfare of all beings. The English word vāo, however, has a definition which involves another step, which is vāo means to solemnly promise, to promise in a deep and dignified way. So, it is possible to pray as a promise. Now, may we, may we, from this life on throughout countless lives, hear the true Dharma. I pray that we hear the true Dharma. I vow, may we vow to hear the true Dharma.

[02:05]

We pray to hear the true Dharma. We promise to hear the true Dharma. We wish, and pray, and commit to hear the true Dharma. May we maintain the true Dharma. We wish to maintain the true Dharma. We promise to maintain the true Dharma. And when we maintain the true Dharma, we easily give up worldly affairs, which means easily give up distractions from maintaining the true Dharma and hearing the true Dharma. If we give up distractions from hearing the true Dharma, we will hear the true Dharma. And if we do hear the true Dharma and give up distractions from hearing it,

[03:20]

we will maintain the Buddha Dharma. And in doing so, the great earth and all living beings together will attain the Buddha way. So, we want all beings to enter and attain the Buddha way. We wish that they will. We pray that they will. We vow that they will. We promise to hear the true Dharma. We commit. We not only want to, but we commit. So, sometimes people who are not living at Zen Center say, how can the practice continue when I'm on my time away from Zen Center, when I'm just practicing at home? I say, well, first of all, think about what you want to do. How much would you like to practice, and how would you like to practice? How much time do you want to spend studying or meditating or exercising your vows?

[04:26]

How much do you want to and what forms? And then, how much is practical? And then, what are you going to commit to? Are you ready to commit to what you want to do and what is practical? And I usually suggest people make a commitment with some structure in it, some formality in it, in terms of what they're going to be practicing and for how long the commitment is going to be for, so that you can re-enlist and re-engage in the vow at some time in the future, rather than just turn the vow on and just hope it keeps going. Turn it on for a specific time, and then at the end of the time, see how it went, and then see what you're ready to re-promise, re-commit to. And so, I just thought I might propose to you some elements or some conditions

[05:35]

which are involved in making vows, in making promises, in making commitments. The first condition is one which, since you're adults, you probably already have attained, which is actually awareness of the discrimination or the difference between self and other. And then, also part of this first condition is awareness of the illusion of the passage of time and the awareness of the concept of future, and the ability to remember something that you have committed to do. So these are different dimensions of a level of cognitive development

[06:36]

where you can remember what you vowed, and you're aware of time, and you're aware of self and other. The next condition is that you're aware that almost whatever promise you make, there's at least some conflicting wishes or some conflicting intentions. Maybe not a conflicting vow, but a conflicting intention. And because of that, you and others,

[07:41]

the credibility of your promise is somewhat in question because of that. So if you do promise something, because if you're aware that you may have conflicting intentions, that will help you understand why others may not be able to credit you, believe you, and support you in that practice, because they're not sure, really, how clear you are about your commitment. But also, you yourself can be also somewhat suspicious of yourself, a little bit, when you make the vow, knowing that because of some conflict, you may not be able to fulfill it. Another criterion, another thing that is involved in making vows, is that the vow matters to somebody. It's not unimportant. It's somewhat important to somebody.

[08:53]

It doesn't have to be you. It could be somebody else. But without that, it's difficult to realize the vow, realize the promise. The fourth point is that the vow needs to be witnessed. The promise needs to be witnessed. It needs to be witnessed by great beings, realized beings, awakened beings, beings who have fulfilled vows of wisdom and compassion, or, for some people, by God, or by a respected person, like a teacher, or it needs to be witnessed by your own sense of self-respect or honor, honorableness and goodness.

[09:54]

And then also, if you look at promising that's happened in the ancient past, in the heroic myths and epics of human history, there also often is some consequence or some punishment if you do not follow through on the promise. Like the expression, I'll be damned. I'll be damned if... Now, the way it often occurs is on an occasion where you're kind of, like, amazed by something. You know, something really amazing happens, you say, I'll be damned. But its origin is, I'll be damned if I don't follow through on this promise. But the moving of it from that, from a punishment if you don't follow through,

[11:00]

to being amazed, is kind of interesting. Because you say it, or people say it, in the presence of something awesome. Something, you know, amazing. And it's like in the presence of this amazing, of the amazing possibilities, that if we don't follow through on what we have somehow found ourselves making a promise about, we know there will be consequences. And I've heard stories about people who practice some forms of Buddhism, and I think other religions too, but some forms of Buddhism where if the practitioner makes certain solemn vows, I've been told that their teachers tell them the terrible things that will happen to them if they don't follow through on them.

[12:01]

So this is part of the human psychic atmosphere around promises, which is part of the reason why some people are really afraid to make promises. Because somewhere we know, I think, that if we don't get witnessed, it's not as powerful, but if we do get witnessed, there's powerful consequences if we don't follow through. When it comes to the 16 Bodhisattva precepts that are practiced in Soto Zen, of the lineage of Dogen, these 16 Bodhisattva precepts, when Soto Zen students hear about them, they often say to me,

[13:07]

well, I feel like I'm already practicing these precepts, so I don't quite see the necessity of the ceremony, or to go through the ceremonial, formal initiation into these precepts. And some other people say, I'm practicing these precepts, but I'm afraid of what would happen if I committed to practicing these precepts, formally. And I feel that people who have that feeling are more developed and wiser than I was when I first received these precepts, because I didn't know, actually, what I was getting into when I promised. But some people who are more sophisticated, they know that if you do promise and do commit to these precepts, and be witnessed, it's another world from the one where you're practicing them,

[14:09]

but without promising. For example, if you practice not killing, which many of you probably are practicing, that's one world. And then there's the world of where you commit to practice not killing, and then try to practice not killing. That's another world. It's the world of promise that's witnessed, of a real promise. Because a real promise is where you say, OK, not only am I promising, but I welcome, I invite witnesses. I invite human witnesses, co-practitioners, teachers, ancestors, Buddhas, bodhisattvas, children, parents, spouses. I invite them to watch and witness this promise. And you can also promise things that are unwholesome, and to succeed at them,

[15:19]

they also would require this same kind of support. But something, these bodhisattva wishes, these bodhisattva vows, are not something that you can promise. When witnessed, they can be fulfilled. Without witnessing, without being witnessed, they cannot be fulfilled. But it seems safer just to sort of make the vow, make the promise with no witnesses. You might think, well, then nobody would be let down but me. But that's not actually what these vows are about. Because these vows are about your relationship with everyone. Once again, as you heard this morning and recited this morning,

[16:34]

the zazen of the Buddha ancestors is being wholehearted. The sitting of the Buddha is wholehearted sitting. The walking of the Buddha is wholehearted walking. The bodhisattva's talking is wholehearted talking. It's being wholehearted, and being wholehearted is to drop off body and mind. When you're walking, wholeheartedly, body and mind drop off. When you're talking wholeheartedly, body and mind drop off. The bodhisattva vow is basically promising to be open and responsive to all beings. It's promising to be open and responsive to all unenlightened beings, to all enlightened beings, and even to all inanimate beings. It's promising. The bodhisattva vow is promising to be open and responsive to all beings.

[17:41]

Buddha's zazen, Buddha's wholeheartedness, the Buddha's sitting, the Buddha's walking, the Buddha's life, is the actuality, is the reality of being open and responsive. It's the way you actually are open and responsive to all beings. That's Buddha's zazen. That's Buddha. Buddha is the actuality, the truth of our openness and responsiveness to each other. That's actually Buddha, and that's Buddha's practice. The vow is to promise, basically, to be Buddha. You're promising to make everything you do open and responsive to all beings, which means to make everything you do be the performance and enactment of Buddha. So our practice in Soto Zen of sitting upright in the self-fulfilling samadhi

[18:49]

is to sit upright in the reality of how the grasses and the trees and the wind and the water are giving us life and how we're giving them life. It's to open to that. Infinite responsiveness between us and all beings. Bodhisattva vow is to promise to live there. And for the promise to work, it's good if you get it witnessed. Do it with witnesses. Witness by as much of those beings that you're opening to as possible, but of course it has to be a limited set. But you have a limited set. I heard someone say,

[19:52]

getting along in civil society is based on the expectation that most people will do what they say they will do. That is essentially living up to their explicit and implicit promises, their vows and so on. And I thought, hmm. I would say it somewhat differently. Not to say... I would say a different thing. I would say getting along really well in civil society is based on giving our own and other people's promises gracious, intimate attention. Or to expand a little bit, getting along well in society

[20:55]

is based on giving promises, making promises, making vows, and then giving those vows gracious, intimate, thorough attention. The difference between what I said and what he said was, he said getting along in civil society depends... is based on the expectation that people will do what they say they're going to do. And that may be what civil society is based on, but civil society is not going well. And it's always had problems. The ideal society is one where people are being more than just civil, although that would be good. But they're really getting along well.

[21:58]

And I would say that that does not depend... it includes expectations, but I think it depends on going beyond expectations and being gracious towards our own vows, our own promises, and being gracious with other people's promises. In such a society, we need to give a lot of attention to the promise-making, to the vows. We need to know what people's promises and vows are. We need to clarify that with people, if we're going to get along with them... well. And we need to be clear about our own, and help them be clear about our own. And then, once we're clear about what the promises we're making are in our life, once we're clear, for example, that we are promising to live the life of a bodhisattva, then, to be gracious with ourselves and gracious with others, with their vows that they've made.

[23:06]

And they can make a variety. Their bodhisattva vows don't have to be exactly the same. They can have some difference in them. There can be difference in the infinite, vast vows of people. Whatever the vows are, whatever they are, but particularly now, if they're bodhisattva vows, if they're vows to... if they're promised to practice the Buddha way, and help others enter the Buddha way, then we need to ask them to express it, check to see if you understand, and then be gracious with them about what they do, after you understand their promise. And the same with yourself. And if you yourself are not following through on your promises, then one of the bodhisattva vows is to help us when we don't follow through on our vows,

[24:13]

and that is confession and repentance. And there, too, as a way to develop your graciousness towards your own shortcomings and your own promises, you do this in the presence of those who will be gracious with you always. You invite the gracious ones to come and witness now your shortcomings in your vows, which you previously asked them to witness when you made them. You invite them to come to help you be gracious with your own vows, too. And then, your own vow breaking. And then you practice that graciousness towards other people whose vows you've witnessed. And whose vows you've promised to watch them act out and show them graciousness to encourage them to be gracious. And in this way, again, with the promise and the witnessing and the clarity around the vows,

[25:19]

the vows can be realized, which is what we wanted. Now, some of us might have wanted the vows to be realized without the promising. Just, I want to practice the Buddha way. Is that enough? Just like I often mention that people come to me and say, I want to receive these bodhisattva precepts, these 16 bodhisattva vows. I want to receive them. I want to, yeah, I want to commit to them. And then I say, well, whenever you're ready to commit to them, commit to them. Or whenever you're ready to receive them, ask for them. And it's a big step from saying, I want them to, may I receive them. There's a witnessing of the desire.

[26:24]

Now there's a witnessing of the request. The request is a little more responsive, has more responsiveness in it than just a statement of a desire. But the responsiveness is what the precepts are about. They're about responsiveness, not just desire. Desire is there, you want to practice these precepts, but in a responsive way, because that's what they're about. So again, one can wish to sit wholeheartedly.

[27:36]

One could wish to sit and open to all beings. One could wish to sit and open to the Buddhas and let the Buddhas come and take over your life and use you for the Buddha way. Say, okay, I'm here, I'm sitting, and I'm opening to the Buddhas, I wish to do that. And then one could promise to do that. With those you're promising to, witnessing it. I promise to sit openheartedly, wholeheartedly, opening to all my responsive relationships, opening to the Buddha's practice. I promise to do that. Okay? In the presence of your teacher and all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. And then, go sit and see what happens. And maybe notice, oops, I promised and it's not happening.

[28:39]

I am like closing down. I do not want to be open to all people, not even the people in this session. I don't want to be responsive to them. They can go be responsive, but I'd like to be like, just like... I'd like to just be able to sit still here, rather than have to move every time they move. And quiver every time they quiver. The actuality of our openness and responsiveness with all beings is unconstructed stillness. The way we're actually open to each other is not moving. The way we're responsive to each other is silent and still. When you move, I move.

[29:43]

When you smile or frown, it changes my chemistry. Everything you do, I'm totally responsive to, and vice versa. I'm actually, in reality, I'm open to you, completely. And you to me. And that openness and responsiveness is not moving, as it says in what you chanted today. All this, however, does not appear within perception, because it is unconstructedness and stillness. All this resonance between you and all beings, between the grasses and the tiles and the pebbles, this way of mutually enlightening each other, that whole process does not appear within perception. It is unconstructedness and stillness. It is immediate realization. It's not moving. And it has this great activity of resonance

[30:45]

and mutually affecting each other. That relationship among beings who are changing all the time is unmoving. And it's not permanent either. It arises with the whole world each moment. That's the Buddha's satsang. So when we sit here, we sit still as a ceremony of the actual stillness, which is always present. We sit still like a Buddha as a ceremony to realize the Buddha who is always sitting still and silent. The Buddha which is our relationship with all beings every moment. We sit as a ceremony of that.

[31:46]

And our sitting does not reach it. And we hear that our sitting does not reach it. And we understand that our sitting does not reach it. But our sitting realizes it, even though it doesn't reach it. If you think it reaches it, you'll be distracted from the realization that the sitting realizes. So our consciousness does not reach this realm of intimacy. It cannot be met with recognition. But it can illuminate all of our consciousnesses. So we sit still and we're not afraid to move when we're sitting still because we know that the stillness we're doing is actually a ceremony of sitting still. It's not the actual stillness.

[32:48]

It's a ceremony of stillness. Because, of course, when we're doing the ceremony of stillness, we're moving. We're pulsing. Our heart's beating. Nerves. Neural activity is brilliantly happening. While we're doing the ceremony of sitting still, we're not sitting still in that ceremony. But the ceremony is about the actual sitting still, which our ceremony doesn't reach, but which our ceremony realizes. And we know, the way we know the actuality of our relationship is by the ceremony. That's the way we know it. The way it is, is beyond our knowing and not knowing. The way it's realized is in promising wholeheartedly

[33:51]

to sit, and then sitting wholeheartedly. And in sitting wholeheartedly, you do not hold on. You do not hold on to sitting wholeheartedly when you're sitting wholeheartedly. When sitting still as a ceremony, you do not hold on to the ceremony of sitting still. You give it away. It's a gift. It's a gift to the Buddhas. It's not something you are holding on to. But you have to sit still in order... You have to practice sitting still in order to be generous with sitting still, in order to give it away. So, this is a... this is wholeheartedness. To wholeheartedly do something that you don't hold on to makes it more perfectly wholehearted. To half-heartedly do something

[34:53]

that you give away is still pretty good that you're giving it away. But to wholeheartedly do something and give it away, that's real wholeheartedness. And to wholeheartedly do something that you're holding on to is not yet wholehearted. So that's why some people practice half-heartedly because they feel at least they can be generous with it. But I'm afraid if I practiced wholeheartedly, I'd hold on to it, and then I'd get in trouble. Which is true, you would. But you get in trouble for being half-hearted as an attempt to protect yourself. From wholeheartedness. One of our ancestors is called...

[36:03]

We call him Seigen Gyoshi Daisho. He was a disciple of the sixth ancestor, Seigen Gyoshi. In Chinese, the way his name is pronounced is something like Qingyuan Xingzi. So Xingzi, or Gyoshi, means walking, thinking. Or walking and thinking. And when I think of his name, walking and thinking, I think he's walking and thinking of something. And what is he thinking of? I think he's thinking about the Buddha! I think he's thinking about making an offering to Buddha. I think he's thinking about paying homage to Buddha. I think he's thinking about praising Buddha. I think he's thinking about his own shortcomings.

[37:07]

I think he's thinking about it, rejoicing in the merits of others. I think he's thinking about it, Bodhisattva vows, that's his name. I don't know what point the sixth ancestor gave him that name, but I kind of feel like he realized his name. I think he must have promised to walk and think, after he got the name walking, thinking. Today during lunch, I was eating with you, and I was looking to see, when I put my spoon into the food, I looked to see, was that an offering to Buddhas? Was that paying homage to Buddhas? Was that praising Buddhas? When I raise the food up, the same consideration, and when I put it in my mouth, is this feeding

[38:11]

this person? Is this making offerings to Buddha? Is this paying homage to Buddha? Is this praising the Buddhas? Is this asking the Buddhas to teach? I was thinking about the Bodhisattva vow while I was eating, and I thought, this seems quite appropriate for me to be thinking about the Bodhisattva vows when I'm thinking, when I'm eating. And then again, when I was folding up or unfolding the bowls, is this paying homage to Buddhas? Is this praising Buddhas? Now I can say, when I put this food into the food, I can say, homage to all Buddhas. I can say, offering to all Buddhas. I can say that.

[39:12]

And I can also say, is this really, am I really doing it? I'm saying it, but am I really doing it? I am thinking about it. Am I really totally making what I'm doing right now? Talking to you, moving my hand, turning my head, am I making offerings to Buddha? Am I paying homage to Buddha? Am I aware of my relationship with all of you while I'm talking to you? And I don't say usually, yes. I ask the question, I look at it, I think about it, I think about whether I'm thinking about the vow, and I think about the vow and I think about whether I'm really practicing it. And it's quite a different world to be thinking about the vow when I'm talking and eating and walking than not to think about it. Not thinking about it is not super terrible most of the time, but sometimes it really

[40:18]

is terrible. And usually when I'm thinking about it, I feel, yeah, I feel pretty good. I feel like I'm walking the Bodhisattva path because I'm doing what Bodhisattvas are instructed to do. I'm thinking about what they're instructed to do. And to help me think about, and to help me do what they're instructed to do, I ask myself if I'm doing what they're instructed to do. And when I ask myself if they are, that's one of the things they're supposed to do is ask themselves if they are, so then I kind of am, but I don't say yes to that, I just ask. But now I'm looking at myself and saying, yes, I think I was. And when I was thinking, I was also thinking, I wonder if the other people who are eating here are paying homage to Buddha while they're eating, making every bite an homage to Buddha.

[41:24]

I wonder if the other people here who are eating are eating as an offering to Buddha. Like, some people brought offerings in and put them on the altar to Buddha and Bodhisattvas and to ancestral Zen teachers. Some people made offerings to there, but I wonder if they were, when they were making offerings with this, I wonder if they were thinking, am I making offerings to Buddha, am I practicing the Bodhisattva, I wonder. One can do this. One can look at what they're doing and say, is this homage to Buddha's? One can think about what one's doing, be mindful of what you're doing, and then once you're mindful of what you're doing, like walking, when the monk walks, she knows she's walking, and then while she's walking, she thinks about, is this walking, Buddha's walking? Is this walking, the Bodhisattva walking, is this walking, being intimate with the Buddhas?

[42:32]

Is this walking, openness and wholeheartedness with all beings? And the Diamond Sutra says that it's rare that the Buddha blesses the fearless bodhisattvas, with the greatest of blessings, and entrusts the bodhisattva with the greatest entrustments. So how are these bodhisattvas practicing that Buddha comes and entrusts them and blesses them? I think they're practicing, as the Buddha says, they're thinking, they produce a thought, and then he tells some thoughts that they produce. The bodhisattvas who are entrusted are thinking, I promise to attain nirvana, and from nirvana, I promise to save all beings, and also I promise to meditate on emptiness of all the

[43:47]

beings I save. I promise that. This is what the Buddha recommends we think, if we want to walk the path of the bodhisattva. Who the Buddha blesses and entrusts, and again you may say, I wouldn't want the entrustment of the Buddha, that would be too hard for me. Okay, fine, then don't think this way, because if you think this way, the Buddha will come and entrust you with a big, big, big responsibility, with the greatest entrustment, you'll get the greatest entrustment and the greatest blessing if you think this way. Then, again, Samantabhadra tells us to think this way constantly, to learn to think constantly about the bodhisattva vows, about the Buddha vows, to constantly think, how can I contribute

[44:48]

to all beings entering the supreme way, and all beings realizing Buddhahood? How can I contribute to it right now? How can I contribute right now? Well I'm not going to be able to contribute to it all by myself, that's for sure, but I will be able to contribute to it if I accept the great entrustment of the Buddhas, if I say, please come, I pay homage to you, help me do the job you want me to do, help me enter the way which you want me to enter, so I can help others enter the way which I and you want me to enter. This is no different than being silent and still, this is just being silent and still

[46:01]

and being open and responsive, this is just being wholeheartedly silent and still, which is the same as being silent and still. Now, if I kind of give up this opportunity to talk to you more and give you a chance to sit quietly and immovably, immovingly before dinner, that would be a chance for you to

[47:06]

just check out whether this sitting is wholehearted, whether the bodhisattva vow is living right nearby someplace, whether the promise to practice the bodhisattva path is there.

[47:27]

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