There are quite a few young human beings here up in front who are charming us very nicely. Thank you. One time I was talking to someone And I felt a kind of uncomfortable feeling here in my chest, around my heart. Not exactly painful, but more like kind of dull or kind of dusty or dead feeling in here. And I I felt like if I would say something it would really clear that feeling away. And I felt like what I wanted to say to clear it was, I love you.

[01:05]

So I said, I love you. And my heart felt some more clear here. But still it wasn't completely clear. I felt I needed to say something else. Can you think of what I might have? Yes. Bring goodness. Bring goodness, yeah. Yeah, what I said was, the next thing I said was, thank you. And that cleared the heart area more. But it still wasn't completely clear. And I felt there was something else I wanted to say. Can you guess what it was? Good morning?

[02:13]

Good morning? That's very good, that's very good. But unfortunately it was afternoon. So I said, I'm sorry. And then my heart was completely open after I said, I love you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to tell you that. I also wanted to mention to you, have you heard of Zen? Yeah. What is it? It's some kind of form. Zen is some kind of form. That's right.

[03:14]

It's a form of, yes? It's a form of living. And I wanted to tell you that Zen is, when you're hungry, eat. And when you're tired, rest. Okay? And I also wanted to talk to you about something that happened about three weeks ago. There was a big earthquake in the ocean. Did you hear about it? Yeah. Yeah. And it made a... Do you hear about it? Yeah, it's in China. It's in China? In Japan. Yeah. Yeah. Yes? We're making... We're trying to make a thousand cranes at my school. Well, I mean, before my school. And hanging up in the Oshis. Hanging up in the ocean, did you say?

[04:17]

At Oshis. At Oshis. Oh, okay. So you're making a thousand cranes to hang up for the Japanese world. Yeah, so this huge earthquake was in the ocean near Japan and it made a huge wave, a tsunami. Yeah, yes. People are scared to go back because... People are scared to go back to Japan or go back to where they live because they're still having earthquakes. Yeah. People are trying to get into high valleys. Yeah. So you know about this, you know about the earthquake and the tsunami and people are scared, right? Yes, Noah. Yes. Yes.

[05:20]

Is your name Noah? Yes. I went to Japantown. You went to Japantown? You went to Japantown five minutes ago? Five weeks ago. Oh, five weeks ago, yeah. And then I saw a little box saying donation for Japan in a container. You saw a little box for donations to Japan in a container store. Yeah. My granddaughter's name is Noah. Yeah. How old are you? Huh? Noah, how old are you? I'm turning seven in May. Okay. Seven. Thank you. And you're six? And you're... I'm seven, too, because I turned seven. Happy birthday.

[06:23]

Happy birthday to, what's your name? Happy birthday, Jonah. So another thing that happened in Japan was there was a, in a place called Fukushima, there was a nuclear power plant. Yes, Noah? Yeah. They're really tight and whenever they touch you, you can't breathe really much. Yeah, so the power plant was kind of broken by the earthquake and then this radioactive... radiation went out from the power plant and started to go into the water and into the sky. And it went into some people and plants. And some people died because of the radiation from this plant. And now the radiation has been going into the water, around the plant, into the ocean.

[07:27]

Does that make sense? So this is a thing that the water is being... being harmed, and the animals like us, because we're mostly water, right? We are experiencing this radiated water. So there's a man who lives in Japan who has studied water and teaches about water, and he asks the people of the world to do a prayer for the water. And so I thought maybe we could do a prayer because I think, especially the children, if you do a prayer, I think your prayers will be very strong and very powerful if you want to do the prayer with us. So I'll tell you the prayer. And this man is named Emoto, Mr. Emoto, and he asks us to do this prayer for the water around Fukushima.

[08:28]

So here's the prayer he asks in English. the waters of Fukushima nuclear plant, we are sorry to make you suffer. Please forgive us. We thank you. We love you. Yes, Noah. Noah. Noah said, those are the same words that make my heart feel better. I thought your brilliant little minds might catch that. I don't know if the adults got it. But I know those little brains. And you probably got this for the rest of your life. The rest of us will forget in a few minutes. Ah, so charming.

[09:33]

Ready? Should we try it? The waters of Fukushima nuclear plant, we are sorry to make you suffer. Please forgive us. We thank you. We love you. the waters of Fukushima nuclear plant, we are sorry to make you suffer. Please forgive us. We thank you. We love you. the waters of Fukushima nuclear plant, we are sorry to make you suffer. Please forgive us. We thank you. We love you. And to your children, I love you. I thank you and I'm sorry.

[10:35]

Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming, Lily. You did a great job. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. The children have vacated some seats up in front if you'd like.

[11:50]

Okay. at the beginning of this year, in considering a kind of theme for the year, I offered the theme, or the study topic, of delusion.

[13:49]

And I proposed to consider our delusion our deluded mind, to study it, to care for it, and also to read and discuss various Buddhist scriptures and commentaries on the deluded mind. And I propose And I remind us that there is a theory that delusion and enlightenment are inseparable, are not two different things. That enlightenment, the content of enlightenment, what enlightenment realizes is the process of delusion.

[14:59]

living beings are living within a deluded consciousness. But if they understand the process of this deluded consciousness, they realize enlightenment. So it's not that we become enlightened and we're not deluded anymore. It's that when we become enlightened, we understand our delusion. We greatly understand, we greatly awaken to our delusion in the midst of our delusion, in the midst of all of our delusion. And I spoke in January about authentic delusion, which is a surprising expression for some people.

[16:08]

Similarly, you could say authentic thinking, because thinking is a central process, a central function within deluded consciousness. And again, the word authentic means genuine, but its root is the same root as author. And the root of author is to originate, to increase, to promote, to create. So authentic, inauthentic delusion is delusion that's not immersed in the creative process. Authentic delusion is in touch with the authorship, the origins, the creative process of itself.

[17:21]

So in order to realize enlightenment according to this, it would follow that we need to totally immerse ourselves in the creative process of delusion wherein the future, the future is brought out of the past. And thinking about this, a poem came to mind by Rumi, which I often share. The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

[18:37]

Don't go back to sleep. You have to say what you really want. Don't go back to sleep. People are walking back and forth at the threshold where the two worlds meet. The door is round and open. Don't go back to sleep." I wrote a little note I know this poem by heart, so I don't have to write it down.

[19:40]

I just wrote it down to remind me to bring it up today. And I wrote, the breath at dawn has secrets to tell you. The breath at dawn has secrets to tell you. And the word threshold One of the meanings of the word threshold is dawn, beginning. So you could say the breeze or the breath at the threshold has secrets to tell you. And people are walking back and forth at the dawn. People are walking back and forth at the dawn, at the beginning. at the beginning where the two worlds meet. All beings are living there, walking around at the beginning where the two worlds meet.

[20:48]

The door is round and open. Don't go back to sleep. I've talked about this poem in many contexts. Today I talk about it in the context of the deluded mind. The two worlds of the deluded mind. And that there's a door where these two worlds, these two aspects of mind meet. And everybody lives actually where these two aspects of mind meet. And the two aspects of mind are, you could say, conscious and unconscious. Or again, playing with the words, above the threshold and below the threshold.

[22:00]

The word līmen means threshold. at the root of the word, is threshold. Supraliminal, above the threshold. Subliminal, below the threshold. We're above and below the threshold of consciousness. These are both mind. Two aspects of one mind. One is actually most of what's going on, both in our nervous system and in our life. And there's another part which is very important, but a small part of our actual cognitive activity is above the threshold. So studying the origins, studying the creative process where the unconscious and conscious minds meet,

[23:10]

and meet simultaneously and meet reciprocally is to immerse ourselves, is to plunge into the process, the creative process of delusion. This is not the creative process of reality, but there is a reality of how this creative process proceeds, goes around. The way it goes around is actually called samsara. And samsara means going around. You can also say that the unconscious The unconscious aspect of mind is the past. The unconscious mind is the past, but this unconscious mind is present with the future mind, which is conscious.

[24:22]

They're simultaneous. The conscious and unconscious are simultaneous, and the basis of support for the conscious mind is this unconscious mind, which is our conscious physical inhabitation of our body and our inhabitation of our predispositions, which are here supporting this moment. predispositions from our past active conscious life. There's a present manifestation of our past conscious life, our past karma, that supports our present conscious life and our present activity. And our present activity, which is simultaneous with our past, which is our unconscious mind, our present activity, which is the future of that past, becomes the past of the future past.

[25:54]

Our present activity will soon be the past of the next moment And the effects of our present activity will become the unconscious past in our next moment of experience. So one of our scriptures says, past mind cannot be grasped, present mind cannot be grasped, future mind cannot be grasped, because they're all simultaneous. And you don't have one without the other. The unconscious mind of past is present right now. It's not in someplace else. It's present right now. It carries past futures and past presence.

[27:03]

In the present as the past. As the consequences. The consequences of activity are now present with us. activity which is no longer happening, but once happened, is present in a mind which is predisposed in ways influenced by past activity. Because in the past we thought there was an external world, Unconsciously now, we feel, unconsciously or very vaguely, we have a sense that there is an external world. And based on that sense that there's an external world, we actively think that there's an external world. But the way we think there's an external world in the present, which is the future of the past ways we used to think there was an external world,

[28:08]

That past way we used to think that there's an external world is the basis for, is the unconscious basis, which we can vaguely sense is the basis for our thinking, actively thinking that there's an external world. And this actively thinking there's an external world will become, the consequences of that will be that becoming a seed for another unconscious moment of being predisposed to think there's an external world. So we are somewhat trapped, at least temporarily, within a mind that has this sense that there's an external world. And that mind which we're trapped in is unconscious, and it's the basis for us consciously thinking that we're in an external world. But we usually don't feel consciously like we're in a mind that thinks that there's an external world.

[29:15]

We just think there actually is an external world. I mean, most of us do. It seems that way. External world with external people. But for the meditator who is trying to plunge into the process of delusion, this is an example of a delusion. And we're not taking a philosophical position of saying there is no external world. We're just saying that for the meditator who's trying to realize enlightenment, we're saying for you, we're telling you that you live within your idea. within your imagination, conscious imagination, there's such an external world. And if you try to stop doing that, you will not be successful because that way of thinking is based on a deep current of thought which feels there is an external world.

[30:18]

So we need to be respectful that there's a powerfully deep sense that there is an external world and that we have, in some sense, another important sense that there's an external world. And without saying that there isn't one, we're just saying that what you're seeing is, what this is about, is mind. And how can we plunge into, immerse ourselves in this process? And to this end we are, well actually we have been studying for more than a decade a scripture which is one of the origins of this teaching of this unconscious mind, which is the basis of the conscious mind. This unconscious mind, which is called, in Sanskrit, alaya vijnana, or storehouse consciousness, which is the basis consciousness also, for the active consciousnesses, which see specific things, like colors, and hear specific things, like sounds, and so on, and think specific ideas.

[31:36]

These active consciousnesses, which we're aware of, are based on this storehouse consciousness. And this scripture, which we studied for more than a decade here, we have now set aside and we moved on to another study of a commentary based on this scripture. And the commentary is called, translated as, Summary of the Mahayana, or Summary of the Great Vehicle. Mahayana Samgraha by the great teacher Asanga. So we're starting to study that. And this will probably go on for a while if we are lucky. Because this text is offered by a great bodhisattva named Asanga who wishes to give people some words to help them study their delusion. to help them immerse in delusion so that they become greatly enlightened about delusion.

[32:42]

Because that's what Buddha is. Buddha is great enlightenment about delusion. Buddha is not great enlightenment about enlightenment. The Buddha does not sit and think, I'm enlightened. Now, the Buddha could think that, but if the Buddha thought, I am enlightened, the Buddha would realize that that was a delusion. Because thinking is delusion. And the Buddha would understand that delusion, quotes, I am enlightened, unquote, and become a Buddha again. And to think that I'm deluded is no less deluded than to think that I'm enlightened.

[33:46]

But thinking that you're delusion and thinking that you're enlightened are both delusions. So if we know that, then we remember we're always studying delusion because we live in the mind of delusion. So Asanga has given a wonderful text called Summary of the Mahayana, which is summary of the great vehicle of understanding delusion together with everybody else. The Chinese character, the way the Chinese translate this text, and we do not have this text in Sanskrit. The previous text, the previous scripture which I referred to, which we already studied a long time, We didn't have the original Sanskrit of that either. Now we have another great text we don't have the original Sanskrit of. But we have several Chinese translations and several Tibetan. Two Tibetan and several Chinese. Somehow the Chinese and Tibetan people thought it was a great text and so they translated it.

[34:53]

So now we have it. And now we have English translations of the Chinese and Tibetan translations. of the summary of the Mahayana, summary of the great vehicle, which is about saving all beings. And the summary of the great vehicle of saving all beings is studying the mind of delusion. And the mind of delusion has these two basic parts, unconscious and conscious. And so this great bodhisattva is teaching us about how the conscious and the unconscious are playing with each other, are supporting each other, are co-evolving together, are becoming the seeds and fruits for each other. So by studying the text, it helps us study our own mind, which the text is talking about. It's a summary for bodhisattvas, for beings who wish to become Buddha for the welfare of this world.

[35:59]

It's a summary of the teachings about the living being's mind so that the living being can become Buddha. At the beginning of the year I said that I might, I'm getting ready to make a commitment to study this text. I have now made the commitment. Please support me to continue to study the text. We have studied for now for a month or two and we've done two paragraphs. I had a seminar the other day with senior people at Green Gulch. We had a lovely one paragraph class. And then second class we also stayed on the same paragraph. We're now moving on. So I will be sharing this study with you in various venues for the next approximately decade.

[37:04]

I just came upon a statement saying that when you're sleeping and you think you're sleeping well, you're not sleeping so well. When you're sleeping well, you're not thinking, you're resting your thinking. And the same with enlightenment. If you're enlightened and you're thinking you're enlightened, you're a little bit disturbed in your enlightenment. But if you think you're enlightened or you think you're deluded and you study that delusion, you wholeheartedly enter into study of the delusion that I think I'm enlightened or I think I'm deluded or I'm not sure which, wholeheartedly immersing in that is the path of enlightenment.

[38:50]

What I'm saying to you now is based on my past mind, which I'm conscious I have one, because I've heard a teaching that there is an unconscious mind, and I vaguely sense it, but I feel confidence in the teaching that it is supporting my present expression to you. I can reason with myself and you about this. For example, I wouldn't be able to talk to you about this if I hadn't read these texts with my active consciousness in the past. But because I read these texts with my active consciousness, which my conscious mind was actively doing, That past activity is the basis for my present conscious activity. It is right now present with me in an unconscious way. I don't know how my past is supporting my ability to talk to you now.

[40:08]

I can have theories about it, and those theories, again, are based on my past activity. So one way we can do this is simply just to be aware I am studying delusion. I'm studying my mind, and what I'm studying is based on something which will be influenced by this study. The more I study my mind, that active study of my mind will have the consequence of laying scenes for study into my unconscious mind, which will support future conscious minds, which will think, now what is it again that I was going to do? Oh yeah, I was going to study something. Now what was it? Oh, I was going to study myself. I was going to study my conscious mind. Oh, and I also heard a teaching that I am studying my conscious mind, but that isn't all that's going on, which is part of the reason why I sometimes can't remember to study my conscious mind, because it's an unconscious mind which wants to do something other than that, because in the past it did something other than that.

[41:23]

In the past it wasn't interested in studying itself, so there's seeds for being distracted from your study. And there's seeds for being concentrated on your study. There's seeds for remembering to study your delusions and become Buddha. And there's seeds for, don't study them, believe them and act on them, which leads to stay in the mind of delusion. There's seeds, unconscious seeds, for, in other words, for practice and distraction for practice. And thinking that, is a seed for remembering that. And thinking that is a seed for not being fooled by delusion. And not being fooled by delusion, also not being fooled by the idea that once you're not fooled by delusion anymore, you would stop studying. It's another delusion not to be fooled by.

[42:25]

And that's a seed called a seed for, that's a maturing of a seed called, you don't have to keep practicing. That you can be enlightened without practice. There's a seed like that. or that once you're enlightened, you don't have to practice anymore. There's a seed like that because people have thought like that before. So unconsciously, part of us thinks, if we could just get enlightened, we wouldn't have to do this hard work anymore of studying ourself. So when we think that, say, oh, that's probably the maturing, and I'm aware of that now, that's the maturing of a whole ocean of past thoughts of laziness. But fortunately, there's some past thoughts of effort which are supporting me now, realizing that that's a delusion and it's to be studied, not to be believed. And every time you study a delusion rather than believe it, you plant another seed which will be an unconscious support for another moment of thinking about what is the practice.

[43:31]

So a couple weeks ago I gave a talk and our Ino suggested, asked me for a title and she suggested the title would be The Practice of Asking, What is Practice? When you ask what is practice, that's a conscious thought, what is practice? that is possible that that thought arises in your conscious mind because in the past you've heard the words, what is practice? And you thought those thoughts in a way that you felt some interest in, and because of that, now there's an unconscious support for you thinking the thought again, what is practice now? And there might even be an answer because you thought in the past or you heard someone say in the past, and when you heard them, you thought you heard them.

[44:35]

And because you thought you heard them say, practice with your delusion, now you can think, study my delusion. Everybody's walking around thinking. All sentient beings are walking around thinking. All sentient beings are walking around thinking deluded thoughts. And some of them are thinking, what's going on now? What delusion is happening now? How am I studying my delusions now? And I want to study my delusions now. And I am studying my delusions now. And this is what I want to do. And that becomes again a seed for a similar thought of practice again. This is how these two worlds meet, interact, and at that threshold, at that dawn.

[45:37]

And at that dawn where these two worlds meet, if we can be focused there, the secrets of the Buddha will be told. Another interesting point I want to share, in other words, something that was interesting to me, is, again, one of the Chinese translations of this summary of Mahayana, the first character which is translated as summary, it's also this character which I often point out means embrace and sustain or nourish or guide or cultivate.

[46:47]

It means those things, but it also means to be embraced and sustained, or to be nourished, or to be cultivated, or to be guided. It also means to guide, but it also means to be guided. So it's translated, most of the scholars have agreed to translate this character as summary. Another way to translate it is embracing and sustaining the great vehicle. Or another way to translate it is to be embraced and sustained by the great vehicle. To cultivate the great vehicle of universal peace and salvation. To be cultivated by the great vehicle. To be nurtured by the great vehicle and to nurture the great vehicle. And what's the text about? The text is about the mind. And the first part of the mind that's introduced is this great unconscious mind, the storehouse consciousness.

[47:51]

And then the next part of the teaching is about what is known based on that. So I will be sharing this with you in the future, which will be based simultaneously on its past. And if I forget, you'll perhaps remind me There's a song called, Once I Had a Secret Love. But I don't know if it applies here because my love of this teaching, actually I haven't kept secret. But as living beings, in a sense, that song, Once I Had a Secret Love, you know, it does apply. There's something that we love that's kind of a secret to us.

[48:58]

There's something, there's an unconscious clinging going on. This word alaya, as in alaya vijnana, alaya can mean storehouse or a mooring. or something that which is clung to, that which you can attach to. It can mean that, but it also means a clinging or attachment. And it's unconscious. There's some unconscious clinging, some unconscious attachment. So I my love of the teaching is not secret, but my attachment, my something deep in my mind that I'm attached to, that I love, that I attach to, that is kind of a secret to me. Not to you.

[50:01]

You can see I'm attached to something, but I don't see what it is. And then there's one more major detail in this teaching, and that is that along with these two layers of consciousness, the unconscious and the conscious, they're both consciousness, they're both cognition. One's unconscious cognition is one's conscious cognition. Along with both of them comes a type of thinking, a type of reflecting. They both have a reflection going with them. And that reflection has the ability to support both of them, and they support it. But that thinking also sees the unconscious content as a self, as a substantial thing.

[51:02]

it sees the things which we love and cling to unconsciously as substantial things and then consciously those things when they become conscious are also seen as substantial and existent. So that's another dimension of the study is to see how that works in with the conscious and the unconscious. The breeze at the threshold has a secret has secrets about you to tell you don't go back to sleep you have to consciously say what you really want don't go back to sleep Everybody's walking back and forth at the threshold where the unconscious and the conscious meet.

[52:12]

The door is round and open. May we not go back to sleep. May we not get distracted from this threshold, from this creative process of delusion. I guess I'm struggling in the place of meditation, and so I would appreciate maybe you can share more about that. Not my struggle, but just about meditation. A meditation could be described as a... Well, one kind of meditation is where the definition of meditation, the first definition of meditation is a text for contemplation.

[53:27]

Sort of like a teaching could be meditation, and you can contemplate that teaching. So one teaching was sit upright. That's a teaching. That could be a text. That could be a meditation. To contemplate sitting upright. which might involve sitting upright rather than contemplating sitting upright. You can also contemplate sitting upright when you're walking around. Being upright is another teaching. There's a book by that name. So you could contemplate the teaching of being upright. And you can give that all day long, you can contemplate that meditation being upright, you can contemplate it all day long. Being upright, what is being upright right now?

[54:36]

In this conversation, the Freedoms, what's being upright in this conversation? That's the meditation practice, contemplating the teaching. And then involved in that contemplation is like, or what's happening there now, that I was in an organization, and I spent an hour and a half explaining and teaching, voices teaching, and an hour and a half explaining, which is part of the use of life. In the meditation practices, we often take something that we've memorized by teaching. It's a short one, like, yeah, I've read it, but it's been memorized, and I was happy to remember it, which is fun. You just want to be able to memorise the way you get the book. And sometimes the book's fine, because you have the book in front of you, and you're contemplating this book, this video's in this book as a meditation practice.

[55:39]

But if you want to do the meditation practice, if you're walking around a temple or a city on the mountains, then you sort of have to memorise the text, otherwise you trip on the ground, because you're looking at the text rather than the feet. If you memorized a text, you could walk around and you could negotiate the land, the stairs, and so on. And simultaneously remember the text. So you meditate while you're walking around. And so we could meditate on Buddhas. Our great enlightenment, our delusion, is Buddhas. Meditation. They speak it over and over. You can change it to meditate on delusion, or what is delusion right now?

[56:42]

What is my current delusion, what is my current delusion in this meditation hall? You know, I may operate with this, and tend to this current delusion. And as you settle down with this current illusion of sitting in a meditation hall, sitting upright in a meditation hall, you're now settling into a conscious version, your current conscious version of delusion. You're kind of slowing about what you're doing. As you settle with that, you're right there, according to this conscious thought. But you might be conscious of it. However, the more conscious you are of your conscious mind, the more you attend to your conscious mind in a calm, kind way, the more you set seeds for the unconscious to bring seeds for further practice with the conscious.

[57:50]

The conscious is a small part of our cognitive activity, but it's the part we're keeping of the specific teachings of the language we give to us, the unconscious can't correctly receive local instruction. It receives indirectly by the conscious mind listening to the teaching, paying attention to it, being kind to it. And that has the effect of presenting to the unconscious our supports for the practice. So to know the nature of the mind is an additional incursion to take care of the mind that you're aware of. Because you realize, partly you realize, that you can't just take care of this mind because this mind is not under your control. is supported by some other process. So you actually have to cooperate with a bigger process as best you can. But this is the way of cooperating with a bigger process, just to take care of the little process.

[58:55]

But understanding also that this isn't just the process. The little process isn't the whole story. Otherwise, you might think, why can't I get control of this little process? The reason why you can't is because that's just It's a part of what you actually are, or at least a small part of what you actually are. We say like a circle of water in the ocean. So you take care of the circle of water, but remember, it's a circle of water. It's not the ocean. If you take care of the circle of water, you won't be surprised. If you take care of a circle of water, you know it's a circle in the ocean. You won't be surprised if you can't control the circle because Oh, she was going to send you a big wave of achievement. You can't stop. What if you take care of this little circle? You can walk on the base of the ice. The base of the ice. You can walk on it because you know that any time can happen. You just don't get it.

[59:57]

Now it's happening. The little world's been completely turned around. But I knew that could happen. But because I took care of the little world, I'm not skilled with handling this. ...the whole world becoming completely transformed. So, you know, so that's... This is a clinching which then we can study and analyze in a teaching network that's helping you to contemplate. We're aging and meditating on your conscious proliferation process. And also watch how it evolves. To some extent, you can't see the whole picture, but you can see that still power evolves in the conscious arena, depending on... The seeds that I'm planting? Yeah. Actually, because I know I'm very continuously sowing seeds of doubt. That's a big seed that I sow, and so it shouldn't be so surprising that I'm seeing doubt all the time.

[60:59]

And sometimes we aren't so aware that what seed we're planting But this is probably saying, maybe I should be open to the, my conscious mind is the churning of some seeds which I didn't know I planted, which are my past, but I don't know my whole past is my past, which is the basis of my present conscious activity. My past is unconscious. I have a vague sense of it, and I've heard teachings about it. And I don't know all the times I've said, I've had doubtful thoughts or selfish thoughts. I don't know how many there are. But when they're maturing, I say, well, I'm glad I'm practicing mindfulness, because at least I can see them mature. And I have the teaching that these are maturings. And anyhow I respond to these maturings, I will plant further seeds. So I would like to practice meditation that gets maturings, even though they're not recognized as maturings. And if I can't practice with this, that's because, to some extent, the matriarchal life, I'm more willing just to practice in the past.

[62:10]

But I'm grateful that there's a little bit of consciousness here, because that will give you seeds for more consciousness, even though it's consciousness of the matriarchal past laziness. I'm not going to be lazy again. I didn't want to feel lazy, but probably I was lazy in the past. And that past is where he was supporting me, so I'm lazy now. But there must have been some kind of mindfulness in the past, too, because I'm really mindful. So, yeah, I was lazy, so here I am now, I'm lazy, but I was mindful, so now I'm mindful. To be lazy and not be mindful means that any past mindfulness is what you're sharing right now. which is just plain old sad laziness without any conscious mindfulness. And in today's days, I don't hear too much about that stuff. A lot of people just come to me and tell me that they're lazy unless they're conscious, unless they're mindful.

[63:18]

So lazy people don't, who are just lazy, don't say anything to me. Because I think there's nothing to say about that. Some would notice that raising your field is in some problem. That means it's a past practice. And they say, well, this is a problem. And I say, this is a problem. And they tell me, they say, this is a problem, but the awareness of it is really good. The good news is, you know, and that comes from past mindfulness practice. That's the theory. But you're inclined to hear how much mindfulness you practice, but you must have practiced some, because you're mindful now. Yeah. They say, you must have done a beautiful baby. You must have done a beautiful child. Because baby, look at you now. So if we're conscious of our problems, that's the good things. And problems are opportunities for us to develop. more good seeds are responding to these problems in a skillful way, which is why it's important, responding to problems in a skillful way again.

[64:28]

That's the theory here. And that's just part of the theory. But the more we're convinced, I think the more we feel encouraged, well, let's make a good contribution right now. to my future, which will be my past, which will support my next presence. Yes, please, if you come up here, use the microphone. I can't sing, though. You can't sing. You want me to sing, I have to. You don't sing. Why don't you sing? Please tell me, please tell me, and feel free. You know what I'm saying? She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't do it. This is the season of my forgiveness. It's so good of you to ask, Paul. And you're such a wonderful Dharma brother, isn't it?

[65:34]

He's a super wonderful Dharma brother. Thank you. Is Stephen in there? Stephen Wine? He went home. He's not here right now. No. Well, I have a little question, because I'm like Noah. I always like, you know. So I did think delusions should be stomped out, and that we could do it, but tried hard enough. And then your dharmatak, enlightenment, and you can't stop it out. Just see it. And then we recited the sutra at the end of the dharmatak, which I can't remember the name of. The Four Vows? Yes, the Four Vows. And I quote. Delusions are inexhaustible.

[66:35]

I vow to turn them. So end them. End them being knowledge. I think end them is nuts. When I work with my delusion, it doesn't work to make me walk away from seeing it. So I'm not in a crusade to change that translation, but I think it's not such a good translation. Come to the end, or reach the end, is better, I think. In other words, I vow to exhaustively study them. Delusions are an exhaustive, in my mind, I say, I vow to study them. Endlessly. Another translation, their character in Chinese actually means to cut. But cut could be called cutting, but also cut could be called to cut through. To cut through, to find easy passage, to find the ease in the vision.

[67:41]

So this practice is sometimes called the Dhamma gate of ease, the path of ease through the portion of the vision. But really, I feel like now they should be in my heart. Delusions, afflictions are boundless, are endless. I vow to study them, exhausting them. I study them to the end. I study them all the way. Which is what you used to think. Great. On the Stephen end, I'm a teacher. Are there any teachers out there in the audience? Elementary school teachers? Any teachers? We need a retreat for teachers. This time of year is so difficult. Some of us, our jobs are on the line because the test scores aren't good.

[68:46]

And there's many factors we can't control. you know, how present they are during the lesson. You know, it's so well. And I would just really love a retreat for teachers at this time of the year. Because I'm staying testing the other time of year. Yeah, I'll be attending the summer. Yeah. Thank you. That's the end of the point. Okay. Zen meditation for teachers. So back to the session you were addressing with Jane about your past influence and some things weren't saying the present and the future of consciousness. Can you, I assume it isn't the case, but it seems that that, and this is a problem I had with karma a while now, that or how I ended up doing it,

[69:55]

That kind of idea runs a risk of slipping into a sort of paternalism. I worry that that kind of idea would lead to a thing where if something bad happened to me today, there would be this idea that, well, something you did yesterday is responsible for that. Do you know what I mean? So that everybody becomes... I think I understand. Yeah. So one response I would have is that the Buddha said it would be wrong to say that whatever you're experiencing is the result of past karma. Some feelings we have are the result of past karma. But other conditions can be the basis for present feeling, not just past karma.

[70:58]

That's one thing. The other thing is that even in the cases where it is past karma, it doesn't mean that the influence of karma is deterministic, in the sense of strict determinism. If there was strict determinism, then we do not want to practice. And if there was no determinism, or no influence, There'd be no point to do good, because it would have consequences for determining the reasons of our future. But if it was totally determined, then there'd be no point in practicing it, because our ability to practice also returns. So it's been influenced on a basis, and not determined in strict sense. And that's one point. that we're suggesting that we have unconscious mind, which has all kinds of predispositions. So we're predisposed to do things.

[72:02]

So some people have a certain kind of common background. Common background is the same as predisposition. So some people come to this moment predisposed in this way. Some people are predisposed in that way. And based on those predispositions, unconscious predispositions, we consciously know some of our predispositions. There's a much greater resource for, I'd say, that of predispositions that are not so conscious. Nevertheless, our conscious life is supported by them. In our conscious life, there are other beings who can talk to us and say things to us that can help us pay attention to our conscious life, which is based on our unconscious life. So again, past is present.

[73:04]

But the past we have right now is the past that has something to do with our past actions. So our past actions make us predisposed to certain ways. That's the basis upon which our present conscious life is based. But when we feel certain ways, or certain predispositions seem to be coming to be shared in our conscious life, someone can say something to us such that we can take care of them in a way to transform the cases of achieving conscious lives. And so right now you're saying, I have a problem if I'm being told that my past, which is simultaneously present right now, my past, my previous position is my past action. My past action is to be predisposed in certain ways. Your past action of practicing heart makes you predisposed to practice heart in a certain way.

[74:08]

Somebody who has not practiced heart has a different predisposition in regard to heart. So your predisposition in relationship to art focuses on your conscious mind. But to say that your past predisposition determined you, determined you, that wouldn't work either, because you would be in an artistic process, because you'd have to do exactly what your past actually told you. So art would be impossible. But art's not impossible because it's not totally, doesn't totally determine the RPG. So some artists are, you know, they just keep painting the whole life and they're still somehow creative. Some other artists, they have a previous position to keep changing their media. Either way, if they're really artists, they somehow become free. And that's possible for everybody. Everybody can be an artist because our predispositions are not strictly deterministic.

[75:09]

And so a teacher or another artist can influence you in interacting with your conscious life. And then that can fund seeds for further flexibility and creativity. Yeah, I guess, and I've heard, I've actually heard this before, and it does make sense, and I guess it's just, I just always go back to this theory that this to do with, I know it's not doing anything, but it comes very close to me all the time, of saying, like, well, you deserved this, or the idea of cause and effect. Well, you can say, you can say deserve in a very different way, Well, that's the way. Or you could say discerned in the way of a compliment. And you could say to a spiritual being, you could say discerned as a compliment when they did something difficult.

[76:13]

But a lot of times when students get something difficult, people say, you deserve that. They mean, you must have done something bad. So you're bad. So since you're bad, you're getting that. A very spiritual being. People say, hey, she's doing really great. Let's bring out all of our problems. That's how calm she is. Let's tell her all of our, let's bring her the worst stuff. And then somebody watching this person can say, yeah, that's the perfect person to bring to. She deserves all these horrendous things because she's so kind. That she gets rewarded with more suffering to show people how they can deal with suffering. She deserves to be honored with people bringing her the most difficult problems. Rather than say, she doesn't deserve those difficult problems. She doesn't have to be bashed enough. She has to be one bashed before she's going to deserve it. That's a good spin. That's a good spin.

[77:19]

And the Buddha in you has that spin. But also the Buddha in you has that spin, though. You don't deserve this in the sense that there's too advanced for you. So the Buddha would say, wait a minute, this problem which is coming to you is not yet right time for you, because you're not ready for the ageing. So in that sense, you don't deserve it. In other words, it's not the time to arise. So deserve, I would read it in the sense of, is it appropriate for me to work with this? You know, there are just two events that we need to meet with, compassion. May I have it? Yes, please come. There's something except that meditation today, but I think I might be two-dimensionalizing.

[78:29]

I thought you were going to say that I'm two-dimensionalized. That's good. Well, two-dimensional and two-dimensional. Yes, two-dimensional. Two-dimensional. We are two-dimensional. Right, but I'll come back to the third dimension. We thought that meditation as a teaching, that you're not going to carry your book with you, so you internalize it, whatever I think you're saying. And so I had an idea of memorizing things and kind of having to deal with the back program in the computer, just learning all the time some of these teachings. But then I start to think, then am I just in my little world all the time, saving my chance, and then not paying attention to the world? And that seems like the exact opposite of what is practiced today. The image is like people with their headsets on, and they're listening to their iPod all the time, and they're having a lovely time, but then they don't care about me.

[79:36]

That's why, remember, you don't need your iPod. No, no. I'm happy with my friends. Well, I don't think my heart. You do something and you get it into your heart so that you can receive the world at the same time. So it's in your heart, not in your mind. After raising your mind, it goes to your heart. Well, we say in our heart. We have our heart. Well, I have one more answer, sorry. So that you can remember to be kind, even when you're, I don't know what... You're impersonating a cool person on the stage. You never forget to be kind. Or when you're impersonating a crazy person, you're actually remembering to be kind because in your heart you always remember that teaching. And if you put up an iPod, you remember to be kind to what you're listening to on the iPod. No, I'm not doing that.

[80:40]

I remember it. At least I talked to my mother. I now have it in my own mind. So I'm saying, but you can still listen to iPods. And also this teaching, this deep teaching which tells you, don't try to not be caught in your own little world, because you are. Like the teaching also says, leave the world. Be there, open to the world, which is . To me, trying to open to the world, it's . You open to the world, you can open to the little world, because you live in the little world. If you want to be open to the big world, you have to be open to the little world. Did you say it? Did she just go right back into her head? Am I saying it shouldn't go on the same page in your head? I'm saying you are walking on the same page in your head.

[81:40]

I'd say that's what you're already doing. So I'm replacing the tape. You're replacing the tape, and you can't really replace it, but you can supplement it. For example, there isn't yet a scripture called the Memoir Trésil. It's not yet on the sutra shelf. But that story has been going on and continues to go on. But there's teachings which we all share, which are being integrated into the story of Tracy. There's teachings not being integrated. And those teachings are partly telling, in the midst of the Tracy story, there's a teaching which says, this Tracy story is a little world with Tracy written in it. She lives in a circle of water in an ocean. And she's been told to pay attention to the world with the book she's paying attention to. She's been told, now, it's a circle of water.

[82:45]

I'm saying paying attention to the world means paying attention to your closed version of the world. So when you're talking to somebody, or many people, or when you're in the city, moving around the city, Past is a big one. You remember that you're inside of a little world. You're not in the actuality of the totality. You're in your own mental construction of it. And I'm not telling you to be in that world. I'm saying we are in that world. We are in our world. We're in little worlds. That's how we live until we have enough attachment. And the way we get no attachment is by being mindful that we're within the little world. We're in the world of delusion. When we understand this little world of delusion, as the little world of delusion, that's good.

[83:48]

And good is not related to the world anymore. Good realizes the whole ocean. But to realize the whole ocean by accepting that you're in the little world You want that? And the little world includes not just what's going on with you, but what's going on with everybody. The little world includes both of that. And what's going on with everybody is what you think is going on with everybody. It includes your concerns about everybody. So I have a limited little world of my concerns for everybody. It's not really my concern for everybody. I'm bigger than that. But I have my own little stoker my concern for everybody. Or some people have a little, like a concern, a little world where they're concerned not for everybody. They're only concerned for a few people. And some people live in a little world that's not concerned about anybody, including themselves. But the person who's concerned with everybody is still in a little world called, I'm concerned for everybody.

[84:57]

I think you answered a bigger question than my little question. Can I just go back to my little question, also? Which is, if I had been doing the whole time you were just talking, that was my question, either. So if I'm following the instruction to do that, then I wouldn't have been present for what you just said. That's another question. So if you're concentrating on some teaching, can you hear what people are saying to you? Or what the trees are doing, or what the bumblebee is doing, or what the flowers are doing. When you actually concentrate on That's a thought you're breathing, or reciting a teaching, or memorizing a poem, or feeling yourself balanced.

[86:11]

When you're actually concentrated, you become more open to the environment than you were before. When you're distracted, and your mind's jumping around and you're not calm. When your mind's jumping around and you're not calm, you're running. Then there's things happening that you not only aren't aware of, because that's not the problem, you're actually not open to them. So you can be open to things that you're aware of and not aware of. Concentrate on being open to things that you're aware of and not But you're concentrating not so much by focusing, but by being relaxed with what you're paying attention to. Anything further you wish to say?

[87:13]

Please don't. Thank you for this teaching. I have two things that I want. The first one is I want to tell you I was born 61 years ago today. Happy birthday to you. Thank you. And the second one is, I want to bring up the lion consciousness. Is that what they call the star host? A lion. A lion. A lion. to your sorrow, or as you said, home, your home consciousness, your unconscious home consciousness.

[88:41]

All right, alaya, [...] alaya. Himalaya. Home of the snow. Soros of the snow. Dwelling in the snow. Where the snow gets attached. Or where the earth attaches to the snow. The sky, the earth attaches to the snow. Yes. Well, is it linked to mine? Are we attached to our past? I'm so much ready to go these words. It's being recorded. If there ain't good .. Only the flawed ones actually make the records.

[89:47]

I've been reading a book which has some interesting ideas in it. May I share that with you? There's a man named Dr. Damasio. He's written a book with a very interesting title, Self Comes to Mind. And it's a book by a neurophysiologist who's studied neurophysiology all of his life. the brain and how it operates and how it fails, whether there's damage through strokes or injuries. And now they have nuclear magnetic resonance imaging to study patterns of consciousness, patterns of activity in the brain. And he talks about the material meaning as one level of self-perception. And by that, I think what he means is all of that part of my mind that perceives my body and its relationships to the senses, perhaps.

[91:00]

I'm not sure I understand it completely. Just the term material me communicates it. So I'm wondering how that part of us relates to storehouse consciousness. Is it a part? Yes. And the storehouse consciousness would be bigger than that, maybe. Storehouse consciousness apprehends the sense organs. And it sort of lies down on the sense organs and has them. I share life with the sense organs. And it's a consciousness. So the consciousness that lives together with and shares life with the sense organs. And that's one of the ways it's supported. The other way it's supported is by apprehending previous positions and past action. And those are two dimensions of this consciousness. I think he calls that second one the autobiographical self.

[92:04]

So this would be autobiographical, but unconscious autobiography. And then the conscious autobiography would be based on the unconscious autobiography. And part of the unconscious autobiography is that in the past, I thought there was an external world, and I just went back to it. So. I'm happy that the neurophysiologists are cooperating with the . It might be an interesting topic for people . Is there another question? Yes. When I am... Delusion.

[93:10]

So you're talking about... Delusion or what? When I think about... When I worry about delusion. When I worry about delusion. You see? Yeah. seems to be a grosser one in the sense that there's a delusion not just that I am, you know, there's an external world, but that maybe the autobiographical one I feel called upon to do something, to become something, that I have to take care of myself, take care of other people, make money. So that's... When you say that, I think you're telling me about your conscious activity. In that conscious activity, you want to be based on some unconscious stuff. There's no seeing like that. I hear you reporting your conscious activity. What bothers some about it is it seems to be a very cradling, it's almost like this grounding of the future.

[94:20]

There's a perceived aid on my part goes to part. You're trying to grab a future and make that future happen. Right. And that's also related to the unconscious sense that there's an external world. And that there's an external future. And that's something, in the context of myself, I can understand that there's a reality to this fact that what I'm perceiving is my own subjectivity. But when I think about myself as being responsible for not only myself but other beings, then I treat them as real. And that whatever my illusion or my sense of peace that I may have out of meditating and not meditating, I still need to bring home the bacon, in some sense. So there's something that is... You can bring home the bacon, but you know that story, that famous Woody Allen story?

[95:23]

No. The guy who sees a psychiatrist and says, my brother's basically a chicken. The psychiatrist says, why don't you tell him he's not? He says, because I need the eggs. Because you're just dealing with your idea, not them. It's not an idea that I can reject, because I can't take responsibility for it. You don't reject it. I do say reject it, and I said realize it's your own idea. It's not something more than your idea. But we say we make it more than our idea. We say it, again, we say that the person I see out there externally really is out there externally. I guess maybe that's the illusion that gives it more, for me, more of a delusional quality of achievement.

[96:27]

Yes, right. In fact, they are real. And that, for example, I may have an idea of them, and then something appears to me that makes me realize my idea about them is incorrect. And so then I correct my idea and try to get better. But that's the same thing. In terms of having another idea. In terms of having another... you know, real idea about what's going to fix it. I think what I'm trying to get at is the... Is the corruption would be real? Or better? Or better than? Yeah, the better would be really better. Is that the same thing? It's this impulse to project to me that is the heart of delusion that I have trouble with because I can't separate my need to act. Yeah, so it can have a hard time with itself. Since you have a hard time with it, be kind to it.

[97:29]

Be kind to it. you will set, you will climb the seed to be kind to it again. If you try to fix it, you're going to climb the seed for another thing to come up that you're going to have to fix, which you're going to fail to have to fix. And it's based on the idea that you can fix things because things can really be fixed, because what I see is real. And that can be a real fix rather than the kind of this idea that you can fix things. the next moment you'll be able to be kind again to the next idea that you fixed those things, or the next idea that you can't fix those things, or the next idea that things should be fixed, or the next idea that you're really miserable because you're trying to fix things all the time, and you notice that you can't. But even when you notice you can't, you still keep trying, and you can't stop trying because you keep trying. But if you start practicing kindness towards this inexorable habit, you'll be able to practice kindness towards this immeasurable habit, and practice kindness towards this immeasurable habit, and practice kindness towards this, and so on.

[98:35]

And you'll gradually come to see that you can't fix anything or unfix anything. Even though these impulses may still arise to fix things, you won't believe them anymore. They'll understand them as delusions. But while you're still deluded, you need to practice kindness towards these delusions and not reject them. No. Rejecting them is another one of them. So we have the don't reject them and rejecting. Be kind to both. Rejecting doesn't prompt anyone. That's fine. And just be kind to your attempts to In that sense, it seemed like, to the extent that transition could be called becoming more enlightened, it seems to take away the energy that I, it's a game that we, in some sense, play with ourselves.

[99:45]

We use this energy in order to make ourselves leap across this boundary to become something new. That's a little bit tricky. Okay, so the cutting to that part too. And then you actually won't get stuck in that one either. It's a delusion in the sense that it's unclear to me that it's a useful delusion that we are denying. The idea that this is a useful delusion is another delusion. And it's a kind that you believe that if you adhere to this useful delusion, you will suffer. I'm noticing it. If you're not advocating it, then you're not attached to it, then you won't suffer. I feel like the suffering comes when I give up that idea, and then I'm not motivated.

[100:53]

The suffering comes when you're attached to giving up that idea. You're right in the sense that if I don't detach from the idea, I scare myself by thinking that if I detach from the idea, then I won't be living. You attach to the idea of giving up, and then you just give. You don't really give up. You have the idea of giving up. You attach, and then you get scared. And then you get scared, and then you don't have the idea of giving up, of detaching. And then you go back to attaching. And you stop there and say, well, maybe I'll give up attaching. And then you attach to that giving up attaching. You stay there and say, I'm not going to give up this giving up anymore. And you go back and hold on. So back and forth. But if you're kind to both, you're going to come free of both. And you actually want to attach to the idea of attaching.

[101:57]

And you want to attach to the idea of giving up attachment. And attachment will be given up. But attachment gets given up by kindly studying attachment, not by trying to give it up. Because trying to give it up is just another delusion. Trying to hold onto attachments is an erratic way of saying being attached. It's another delusion. We live in delusion. We're not going to get outside of it. If you try to get outside of it, that is a delusion which will perpetuate delusion. But if you try to be kind within the realm of delusion, that kindness will come to fruit as freedom from delusion. You'll find a peaceful way through delusion if you're kind to all delusions, including the delusion that came to that delusion. I think I can remember that.

[102:59]

I can't remember where we came from. I don't know. I'm just kidding. How young is this? Unconsciousness story. Don't worry. Thank you very much.

[103:11]

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