Several people kindly let me know that they will not be able to be here tonight. I miss them, but I'm grateful that they told us the reasons. I appreciate it. And thank you all for coming. And I just want to say that as I as the thought comes to my consciousness of meeting with you, I feel joy. And I must admit, I had a little trouble being compassionate towards the pain of not being able to get the link. It was, you know, a little bit painful. It was painful and I I didn't fully embrace the pain of perhaps not being with you, but here I am, and here you are.

[01:05]

This medium is something that I am rather awkward with, and also awkward with how to relate different types of with this kind of setup. And I appreciate you being patient with the awkwardness of it if you feel it. We talked a little bit about one of the verses, verse 46, but I wanted to, again, come back to verse 46 a little bit. And I think the translation you have says something like, in the non-existence of suffering, whatever suffering comes to the bodhisattva is due to compassion, terrifies them at first, but when deeply penetrated, it causes them delight.

[02:18]

So another translation of that first line, which is in the non-existence of suffering, it might be that when they have no personal suffering, when the bodhisattvas don't have personal suffering, whatever suffering comes to them is due to their compassion. And this that comes to them, which is due to their compassion, at first terrifies them, but when it is deeply penetrated, it causes them or, yeah, it causes them extreme delight. So two points in this. Again, I think we talked about a little bit.

[03:25]

I want to stress two points of this verse. One is that, and many people have told me about this, and I think some of you have too. If for a moment you are free of personal suffering, and you're free of personal suffering because of your compassion, You're free of personal suffering when you're a fully compassionate being. And the compassionate being, due to the compassion, a suffering comes to them, a huge suffering, which some people, I've seen them open to this, this compassion for the world. And they often are terrified or say they feel, you know, Overwhelmed by it. And oftentimes I feel like, yeah, I can understand that it's terrifying, but it's a good sign.

[04:30]

It shows your opening. It shows your compassion is maturing, that you're opening and you can start to see a little bit more of the scale of the suffering that you're practicing compassion towards. So at first, when this huge suffering comes, it's terrifying. Be warned that if you're practicing compassion, your reward may be a huge suffering coming to you due to your compassion. And it may terrify you. And the terror is because we have not yet deeply penetrated into the suffering. So the deep penetration into the suffering, when we keep embracing it, we come to a realization of the, what is that?

[05:45]

The equality. of self and other. At the deep penetration of suffering, due to compassion, at the beginning, there's still a sense of inequality between self and other. And then the suffering can seem overwhelming and terrify us. But if we keep practicing, there's the potential to penetrate it and realize a wisdom of equality where you see the equality of you and all suffering beings. And then this suffering is extreme happiness. If we stay on the surface of this suffering, by or through compassion, it's terrifying.

[07:06]

And if we start with the surface, as we penetrate deeply, we find the wisdom of equality. And then the suffering without suffering is Great joy. And I would like just to pause here for a second and let all that sink in, or some of it. Last week we talked about the next verse, so I would like to pass over that one and go to verse 48.

[08:34]

And now we start this considerable discussion of the relationship between compassion and generosity. beginning to discuss the benefits of mercy-driven compassion, or mercy-driven generosity, or compassion-driven generosity, the benefits of it, the amazing benefits. also want to sort of not exactly warn you but yeah kind of say that some again outrageous statements are coming and you might be you might be suspicious that they're just that the news is just too good to deal with i'm suggesting you right away believe what we're going to be reading but i just want to let you know that when i first read this material i thought this is just

[09:50]

Are these bodhisattvas trying to sell us a bill of goods? Is this just too good to be true? So verse 48 is generosity accompanied by compassion generates of generosity in the Bodhisattva. Generosity generates a joy, but it's the generosity accompanied by compassion that generates the joy of generosity in the Bodhisattva. Generosity accompanied by compassion provides the firm-hearted bodhisattva with a happiness of generosity.

[11:03]

And then there's the comment that the happiness that arises from the enjoyments belonging to the three realms does not equal a minute portion So I would suggest a simple way to understand that would be that the happiness of the three realms is, for example, the happiness of generosity by compassion. If we practice generosity without compassion, it still may be joyful. however it might not be. If we practice compassion without, if we practice generosity without compassion, it is possible that we will not feel joy in practicing the generosity.

[12:16]

Let me say that again. Generosity without compassion, it may happen that although we're practicing generosity, because it's not accompanied by compassion, it might not be joyful. And even if it is joyful, of practicing giving not accompanied by compassion is the joy of the three realms. It's, you know, What is it? Does not equal even a small portion of the joy that comes from practicing generosity accompanied by compassion. Practicing generosity, not being accompanied by compassion, what we call mundane generosity.

[13:27]

And it can be, again, it can be joyful, but also it can be miserable and annoying and even cause us to abandon beings because we practice generosity, not with compassion. So once again, this is talking about generosity accompanied by compassion. Generosity may or may not be accompanied by compassion. Compassion is always, I say, compassion is always accompanied by generosity. Compassion is always accompanied by generosity, but generosity is not always accompanied. For example, yes, Charlie? May I ask a question? Yeah.

[14:34]

So usually when I hear us discuss, it's in the context of, well, not usually, but I guess a lot of the time, it's in the context of the paramitas. And I've heard that it's the first paramita. And if you're going to start somewhere, you can start with that one. But now I'm hearing a caveat. Well, you can start with that one. do that one without generosity, then you might mess it all up. And compassion is not one of the paramitas. I mean, I suppose it permeates. It's not one of the paramitas, but strictly speaking, I would say the first paramitas are compassion. Generosity is compassion. When you do it, properly, but you may start practicing generosity without compassion.

[15:36]

And similarly, the next parameter of ethical discipline, you can practice that with or without compassion. Hopefully, we are practicing generosity with compassion. ethical discipline with compassion. We are practicing patience with compassion. So when you say the first four paramitas are compassion, I don't know what you mean by are. We play a lot with is and isn't. And they're done. Let me turn it around the other way. Compassion is them. Compassion is generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, etc. However, it is possible to practice them without compassion, not accompanied by compassion, and then they're sort of not the paramitas.

[16:49]

It's possible to practice them not accompanied by compassion, but compassion is all four. So if you're practicing all, it's possible. them and compassion might still not be there yes but compassion always is with those those compassion always includes those but they don't necessarily include compassion for example you could give some gift to someone and not be interested in listening to their suffering They call out to you and you hand them a gift, but you don't look at them. I think we have this experience, right? People are begging on the streets. You don't look in their face. You don't like, or you know, you don't like really embrace their suffering, which is coming up a verse two for now.

[17:51]

You give them a gift, but you're not really like they're, they're not, you're not cherishing their life. thing and you might feel joy when you give them the gift but also you might you might be angry at them if they don't say thank you or if they ask for more or even if they say you didn't give me enough in that way and regret that you gave it. But if you give a gift accompanied by compassion, you will not regret it. It will be joyful. And if the person doesn't thank you or even ask for more or tells you you're stingy, it's still joyful to you. Compassion towards their lack of appreciation. And you practice generosity towards their lack of appreciation. And you might give them more. Who knows? And the same with the precepts.

[18:53]

You can practice them without compassion. And then if you don't follow them, you can be mean to yourself. Or if somebody owns that you're practicing the precepts with, it doesn't follow them. You could like feel like I don't care about them or whatever. But anyway, now we're focusing on generosity and it is possible to give a gift. And again, if you give without compassion, I might feel joy. But with compassion, I definitely will. And it will surpass the joy that I receive when I give a gift without compassion. And again, if I give a gift, Sometimes they will not be joyful. I will even maybe get an ill will towards the person I gave it to. Or another possibility is I give a gift to someone without compassion and I notice somebody else is not giving it to me and I may feel ill will towards that person because I didn't give my gift out of compassion.

[20:07]

And the same with the other, all of the really are, I mean, all of the perfections are really compassion, including wisdom. The wisdom of the six perfections is compassion. It's a compassion wisdom. It's not just insight, it's compassionate insight. to have insight without compassion it's not deep insight but you can have insight without compassion and you can have generosity you can have all those perfections that without compassion but they're not really perfections then so how do we make sure i have compassion I think compassion gives up trying to make sure that you have, me practicing compassion includes giving away being sure.

[21:14]

One of the things you give away is being sure. I used to be sure and I donated that and then he gave it away. Compassionate beings are not attached to being sure that they're compassionate, however, They're okay because they're full of joy of the practice. They don't need to be sure of anything. However, they'd have deep faith in the practice and they'd have deep joy in the practice. So again, this Karaka 48 is, and I wrote my comment on this, I just said to you, My comment on Cat 48 is compassion accompanies, I mean, compassion is always accompanied by generosity. There's no compassion circulating in the universe without generosity. But there is a kind of mundane generosity that's accompanied by compassion.

[22:22]

It's still good. It's better than stealing. But again, it's not always joyful. But the generosity accompanied by compassion is not only joyful always, it is a totally uplifting and inspiring and joyful happiness. And again, there are other kinds of happiness and, you know, just put them in context that they're wonderful, but they do not, they're not in the same realm as the great joy of compassionate giving. Okay, so I was kind of, my plan was tonight was to talk about a few verses and then just pause a little bit.

[23:27]

And I'd like to do a couple more. Just present them and say a little bit and pause. Present a little bit and pause. Okay? So the next one is about accepting suffering. And many of you are familiar with the three pure precepts. And the third pure bodhisattva precept is to embrace and sustain living beings. And it means, you know, working up to embracing and sustaining all living beings. So that third bodhisattva pure precept is kind of related to this verse, which says, I think what you have is through mercy, through mercy, through mercy, for the sake of living beings, they, those bodhisattvas, do not even forsake the life cycle.

[24:47]

which is made up of suffering and the life cycle is called also called samsara by mercy for the sake of living beings they do not forsake samsara the which is of the nature which is by its nature it's suffering And the next part, what suffering will the compassionate bodhisattva embrace in order to accompany, in order to accomplish the benefit of others? Another way, out of compassion for the sake of living beings, they do not forsake suffering. by which transmigrational life is constituted, what suffering for the benefit of others will the compassionate ones not embrace?

[25:56]

My comment on this is that I propose that until we fully embrace samsara, we will not be able to realize that samsara and nirvana are not different. And also, I suggest that such compassionate full embrace facilitates entering into nirvana and not So this kind of compassionate embrace of all suffering opens the door to a life of peace, which we don't cling to. And when we enter it and don't cling to it, we have the opportunity to realize that it is the same as the life of suffering.

[27:05]

And vice versa, if we do not open to all suffering, We still, some beings may open to some suffering and be able to enter into a certain kind of nirvana. But the Buddha's nirvana is entered by complete opening to all suffering, as it's spoken of here. What suffering will they not embrace? Well, there's no suffering they won't embrace. And so they can, but they don't stay there. And also they realize through this practice, the identity of the world of suffering and the world of peace and bliss. We can handle one more. This is about the growth of compassion and its fruits.

[28:09]

Ready? Compassionate generosity, excuse me, number one. Generosity, number two. And fortune, number three. Increase for the merciful bodhisattva. And from and therefrom comes a happiness, a happiness a happiness born of love, a happiness born of helpfulness, and a happiness born of the powerful ability to assist beings. Compassion, generosity, and wealth always increase for the compassionate one.

[29:15]

From this, from what? From this compassion, generosity, and wealth come the happiness of three kinds. Happiness born of love, happiness born of assistance and helping, and happiness produced by the capacity to help. So again, for people practicing compassion, the compassion grows by repeated practice of compassion. Generosity grows by the force of compassion. And wealth grows by the force of generosity. Once again, the compassion grows by repeatedly practicing compassion. Generosity grows by the power of compassion and compassion and fortune or wealth grow through or from generosity.

[30:29]

And then those three lead to three kinds of happiness. now after that. One more additional thing I would like to add is that wealth or fortune can mean money. It can be like in Japan in the medieval era. Wealth that people had was rice. So wealth can be rice. Wealth also can be salt. Wealth can be health. Wealth can be energy. Wealth can be having a house. Wealth can be having a farm. Wealth and fortune are things that come to the bodhisattva who practices compassion. All this kind of wealth, health, material and spiritual wealth comes to them, which they then use to benefit beings.

[31:39]

And also, I just mentioned the previous verse, a lot of suffering comes to them too. And again, if they embrace the suffering, then wealth comes. So I think maybe that's enough for tonight. And so now I would open up for discussion of whatever you want to discuss. um i'm trying to make sense of this now what i'm thinking or feeling is that self-compassion for me i think is uh integral to to being able to do this at all because i find that i disown parts of myself my limited self my habit and

[32:59]

sort of negative judge self judge or just bad, just bad moments. Like if I don't, I think that that's, if I, that's the doorway to being able to stay in a state of loving helpfulness. That's Karka 49. That's Karka 49. What suffering will the compassionate Bodhisattva not embrace and in order to accomplish the benefit of others. So they will embrace your suffering. They will embrace mine. I will embrace mine. I will embrace yours. You will embrace yours. The compassionate one embraces her own suffering. And she doesn't do that for no reason. She does it in order to accomplish the benefit of others. She does it in order to accomplish others she takes care of herself not just for herself but for others so yes you do really as a bodhisattva you you embrace your own suffering there's no suffering you do not embrace and you embrace it all for the welfare you and you're included so yes yes yes

[34:25]

And like I just mentioned to you, I had some suffering around this computer not working. And so, you know, it was hard to be right there and embrace that suffering. I actually, I kind of recovered and I did embrace it. And yeah, here I am. I did not. Because of you, I did not run away from the computer and give up. I kept working with the suffering of the computer not connecting me. And I contacted Gay with the cell phone. And then I got another computer. I did all that. I embraced that earlier suffering and later sufferings to benefit you. And it also not to run away. So please embrace embrace your suffering for us so I have to love the part of me that isn't a bodhisattva yes yes okay well pain in a way you could say pain isn't a bodhisattva pain is something the bodhisattva has compassion towards and also the karaka says the ones who don't have any personal pain because of their compassion they have

[35:54]

all this pain comes to them. The reason why they don't have compassion is because they practice compassion towards their personal pain. And if you take really good care of your personal pain, then you'll get a huge ocean of other people's pain to reward you. You're welcome. Rem? Yes. I'd like to unpack the idea when the suffering is penetrated deeply that it leads to delight, that particularly penetrating the suffering deeply leads to the realization of the equality of self and other. So when I think of what it means to deeply penetrate the suffering, I'm guessing that you're becoming intimate with the nature of the suffering, the causes and conditions of the suffering.

[37:05]

Is that part right? So you get this special kind of suffering, okay? It's a special kind, very auspicious kind of suffering. It's a suffering that comes to you because you feel compassion for beings. So here comes this special suffering. It's very, what do you call it? Auspicious suffering. Auspicious is conducive to awakening this suffering. The suffering comes to us from personal concern and selfishness. We should be compassionate to that, but it's not so auspicious as the suffering that comes to us because we cherish and want to protect others. So here comes this special suffering, the passionate beings. And at first, because it's so huge, it terrifies them. But if they continue to practice with it, they go deeper into it.

[38:13]

And as they go deeper into it, they notice they're not going in deeper into it. They're just more fully embracing this new suffering. And as they get into there, they start to notice, hey, you know what? I think I think I'm different from her. I think actually I don't see that Pam's equal to me. Or I'm equal to her. Oh, that's not what's causing the suffering for me, but that's what's terrifying me. So it's thinking that we're separate that's terrifying you? Oh, yeah. It's thinking that we're separate, which is similar to not seeing that we're not. So again, this is a special situation, right? This is for people who are practicing compassion. Then they get this special gift of this suffering, which is huge.

[39:18]

People, when they meet this, they often want, they think, I'm going to get overwhelmed. They don't want to deal with this. It's terrifying. So they need a lot of encouragement because this is a good, this suffering is coming because you care about people. It's not the overwhelm that used to when you are self-concerned and then various kinds of suffering come to you because of that. This is coming to you because you really care about beings. Okay, here it is. However, I'm terrified of it. And this text is already telling you what the problem is. It's telling you, although it's come, which is good, You haven't deeply penetrated. You haven't deeply entered it. As you deeply enter it and get more familiar with it, you notice, you will maybe notice that you do not have the wisdom of equality and that that's what's frightening, that's what's terrifying you. So this gift of all this suffering is something which we're terrified of.

[40:28]

We want to like relax with it and enjoy it. We want to now really embrace it. It comes as a gift. And in order to embrace it, we need to have joy. It comes when we realize that all these other beings are equal to us. And that comes to us as we try to embrace this terrifying suffering of all beings. Okay. process repeatedly and the next the next carcass about the compassion grows that you repeatedly practice it so you practice compassion and you get this gift of this huge suffering then you then you get the gift of terror which is actually telling you you're not and then you practice with the terror and this suffering again and again and you go deeper and deeper And then your generosity grows and so on.

[41:34]

And you go deeper. And then when you actually realize that these beings of suffering that you thought was going to wipe you out, that all each one of those beings, all those different sufferings are no different from you. Then you're not terrified anymore. I wonder why that, why would that make you not terrified? bring you joy. You say, why would that not make you terrified? Why would that relieve the terror to see that we're not separate? Yeah, well, I think you have to go there and find out. Yeah, I guess so. I haven't gotten that far. I got to the terror. This text is telling you, if by any chance, You practice compassion and you're not so self-concerned about yourself anymore. You take good care of yourself and you're not actually suffering very much or not at all maybe.

[42:36]

And then because of your compassion, you get this really big. Like I often say to people, if you see somebody curled up in a ball in the corner, you don't bring them more problems. But if you see somebody just walking around, they seem to be relaxed and not troubled, you think, oh, maybe I'll bring my problems to that person. And if that person is free of compassion, free of suffering and practicing compassion, a lot of people will bring it to them. But even before they bring it, the person may notice, oh my God, there's an ocean of suffering. And at first you will be terrified. And then in the terror, if you don't turn away from that and practice compassion with the terror, now you've got the terror plus all the suffering. You're practicing compassion with that. You will go deeper. And you will notice the reasons that you're afraid.

[43:37]

There's still some little bit of separation, the different elements in this enormous suffering which you have opened to. And also there's a little maybe, yeah, anyway, there's some sense that you're not equal to these beings. And as you embrace all this suffering, you wake up to it all. And then the suffering is a delight. And equal, same suffering is now a delight. It doesn't change anything. It just is a delight of that same suffering because you're in the reality that you're the same as everybody. Okay. The way to realize that is this wonderful job of embracing the suffering that comes to you because you're compassionate. Of course, you're compassionate towards the suffering that comes to you because you're selfish.

[44:43]

if that were ever there. We should practice compassion with that too. But if you gave all that up for a moment, the reward would be this huge, and I've seen it, this huge suffering that comes with people. They just are terrified. And I said, this is a good sign. Now let's work with this. And again, the compassion grows. How does it grow? By repeated practice. And the generosity grows by the power of compassion. And the generosity accompanied by compassion is joyful. So the generosity and the wealth and the compassion are growing so that they can deal with this enormous suffering and penetrate to its core and in the core of it. in the molten core of it, we realize there really isn't a separation between us and any suffering beings.

[45:50]

Thank you. You're welcome. Xiaoying. Hello. Hello. I was going to ask maybe exactly the same question as Pam just did. And so your dialogue was helpful to me and I wanted to still ask or still share my understanding from what you just said and what it makes me think of. Because my original question was, can you equality. I wonder what that meant. And I was wondering if that meant unity or something like oneness.

[46:52]

And what you were just elaborating on makes me think of the ego dying in the practice of compassion and taking on that suffering or practicing compassion in the midst of suffering and realizing the quote-unquote equality, like we are the same. Is it like a process of the ego or the separate self dying? Am I understanding this right? You're not understanding me right. I'm not saying that when we do this practice, the ego dies. I think we read it in the previous paragraph, the previous verse says they forsake, they do not forsake the world of samsara.

[48:01]

They do not forsake egocentric beings. They don't forsake them. And also, they don't forsake their own egocentric being. And because they don't forsake their own egocentric, selfish being, because of that, they become free. And their compassion is not just for themselves, which have just freed them from their egocentric mind. Without forsaking without killing it, without pushing it away. It's still there. But they're not clinging to it anymore. And then the reward is an ocean of egocentric suffering comes to them. And then they can show people how you can have an ego and still welcome an ocean of suffering.

[49:09]

and how you can have an ego and not forsake any egocentric being or try to get rid of the egocentric beings. This compassion is not trying to get rid of egos. It's not trying to get rid of self-centeredness. It is embracing the suffering that accompanies that. And it's not so much one as non-separation because the difference is maintained. The uniqueness of each being is what they are, their own particular virtues and troubles. And that suffering being includes all other suffering beings and all bodhisattvas. Every moment of egocentric consciousness includes all other beings. And this practice is to wake up to that teaching.

[50:13]

That's very important. I think some people think he had a big ego, and I think the Chakramuni Buddha had a big ego all the way to the end, and he totally was not caught up in it. And he just used his ego as a gift. And he didn't get rid of anybody else's ego either. He taught beings who have egos how to practice compassion. He taught beings who have egos how to be Buddhist. That's what I'm saying. I'm very glad that I asked the question. I found Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Good evening. Good evening.

[51:18]

During the last week or two, I found myself in a situation where the tendency of my mind to worry got really activated. around situations that people that I know are in. And I just was worrying, you know. And there's nothing I can do about those situations. My worry was not doing me or them really any good. It's not really helpful, but it was there. And so this morning I thought, well, I'll bring this up in class. And then while I was sitting, I had this thought about Just give your worry to the Buddhas and they can take care of it. And so, you know, I sort of tried to make my sitting into an offering of my worry to the Buddhas. And yet I think, well, that's not such a great gift.

[52:23]

I mean, they can handle it, but it's not a great gift. Give that too. Give that opinion to the Buddhists too. Okay. I mean, please give it to them. And you said something like, I think you said something like, I had the thought of giving my word to the Buddhists and letting them take care of it. Mm-hmm. And when you said that, I thought, well, they already are. Yeah, right. They already are taking care of your worry. But when you give it to them, then you realize reality. Hey, here, Buddha, take care of my suffering. Take care of my worry because you already are, right? And the Buddhists say, yeah. And you say, it's not. Well, that's all I work with. I've got nothing other than people's worries and fears.

[53:25]

And, you know, it's not like it's a good gift. It just, it's my, it's my, this is my business is to take care of your worry. And if you're not worried, I'll take care of that too. Whatever you are, give it to Buddhas so they can take care of it. So you can realize that they're already doing that. But now you're joining them. Now you're giving them what they're already taking care of. So now you're tuning in to the Buddha activity. So yeah, please give your worry because that's a gift for the Buddhists. If you get rid of your worry, you're taking your worry away from the Buddhists. Give me that worry. You can't have that worry. I'm going to take it and put it someplace else. No, no. Join them. They have their hands, their gentle hands around. Gentle hands around the worry and hand it back and forth with the Buddhas. Well, that brings up for me the question of prayer and ritual, because I think part of that was, you know, saying to the Buddhas, please help me, please help my friends.

[54:41]

Well, Buddhas are praying all the time. Buddhas are praying all the time, you know, that you will join the unsurpassed way and attain Buddhahood soon. That's what they're praying all the time. So you can pray. You can say you're praying to Buddha, but you're also doing, you're praying like a Buddha. Buddhas are praying. They're wishing. They're wishing, wishing, wishing that all beings will become Buddha and they have confidence that they will and they accept that they're not there yet. And their job is to accept each of us as we are and teach us how to do the same. If I can accept how I am, moment after moment, I'm doing the same thing Buddha does with me. And again, if I accept this overwhelming suffering, I'm doing exactly what Buddha does with the overwhelming suffering.

[55:48]

And if I can't, then Buddha's right with me not being able to yet or being terrified. And do you incidentally help those friends who are in difficult situations at the same time? You could say incidentally or you could say it's exactly the same as them being helped. The way it helps you to give your worries and sufferings to Buddha, the way that helps you and helps you realize that you're working with Buddha, that's exactly the same way that you're helping them. They're helped in exactly equal, it's equal. And as you enter this trait to realizing the equality of taking care of yourself and taking care of others, or the equality of you and others in the process of compassionate care.

[56:55]

And this is very difficult to understand because you can't see it. And many people say to me, I can see how this practice is helping me, but I don't see how to help people I can't see. And that's a tough one. But somebody is telling us that it is helping people you can't see. But also you can practice with people you can see. I can see you and I just encourage you to practice with your worry. And I supported you and your thought of giving your wonderful gift of worry to the Buddhas. I can see that. But helping you also helps all beings. That's the hard part. And it seems like you're saying that it happens simultaneously. You could say simultaneously, and you also could say simultaneously. It's happening at the same time and the same time.

[58:03]

And then if you change people, then you do it with them. Thank you. You're welcome. This is the Lotus Secret. Okay. This is the most difficult thing. Tracy, and I'm hearing some other mumbling. Anyway, Tracy, yes. I would like to underscore and agree with it. This is a hard teaching or complex. And I'm loving it. And my mind's being blown. But I did get hooked. I got hooked about half an hour ago when you said something like samsara and nirvana are not different. And I just like, what are you talking about? What could you possibly mean? And I would love it if you could elaborate on that a little bit.

[59:05]

It's just like my mind can't even consider that hostility. Well, if you can see that your mind's not considering, that's your way of considering the possibility. Okay, fine. So that's a tiny, mini, mini inch of the way. But what do you mean? What do you mean? What does that mean? The peaceful who have realized Nirvana are always, at the beginning I said, what is it called? The compassion is equal and constant. So in their peace and Nirvana, not even in their, their Nirvana is caring for beings. The content of their nirvanic awakening is caring for beings.

[60:12]

The Buddha's peace and joy are beings. So the beings, the suffering beings, and the caring for them are equal and inseparable. Well, I can't believe it. Yeah. You have a taste of not abandoning samsara. There's some elements of samsara you have not abandoned. That's a taste of not abandoning samsara. Now, if you were to not abandon any part of samsara, then you would enter nirvana. And as you enter Nirvana, which is peace and ease, with the samsara, the next step would be you realize that they're the same, that you cannot have the compassionate Buddha without all suffering.

[61:25]

You can't have the compassionate Buddha with just a little bit of suffering, with just a few suffering beings. not to mention skipping all over yourself, but including yourself. Buddha's compassion is embracing all suffering. That's nirvana, is to be at peace with the world of suffering. I wouldn't have believed it possible that you could have... Without forsaking it. Yeah, that's true. superb uh explanation thank you thank you and it's a little bit difficult to embrace all suffering but that's our huge job so let's get with it and again see if we can do it equally equally like a buddha would and and then And we may notice, oh, you know, like I told you, I got a little, I forgot for a little while when I wasn't able to connect with the group earlier tonight.

[62:34]

I missed a beat or two of being there with that pain of not being there. And, you know, if I was just one of the members of the class, it wouldn't have been so uncomfortable. But I think, you know, if I don't show up, it's kind of going to be painful for a lot of people. And that's painful for me. So there was the pain. Then I recovered and I embraced it. And, you know, did all this stuff. Picked up the cell phone, talked to me. And first, the second. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Hi, Rev. Good evening. I have a little story. I had an opportunity to practice compassion and there were and are some bumps in

[63:39]

I would like to share the story, if I may. May I share my story? So yesterday, I was downstairs working on my work and writing, and the doorbell rang, and Jeff was not here. So I came upstairs and out the window of the door. So I opened the door and I looked out and there was a young man standing up the path and he was very slim. And he said, I'm not here to do anything bad in your neighborhood or to hurt you. And he had a rolled And he said, I said, well, what are you here for? And he said, I don't think I said exactly that, but I said something along the lines of how can I help you? And he said, well, I aged out of foster care and now I'm selling these books for children. It should be like I've heard before with other young people coming years ago.

[64:45]

And I knew I wasn't going to buy his subscription to the books he was selling. And so I listened to his story, and it was a really sad story. And he said, I usually wear a suit, but I didn't know it was going to be so hot here. And I was in Arizona. I'm from North Carolina. And he had a slight accent from North Carolina. And he said, but if you just buy the books, then you can. And I said, well, I'm not going to buy the books, but is there anything else I can do for you? Because he was articulate and I wanted to have the exchange. And then I noticed that he had holes in his socks. And I said, would you like a pair of socks? Yes. And I said, is there anything else that I can get for you? And he said, I think he said, do you have any grub?

[65:49]

And I said, excuse me. And he said, I said, oh, are you hungry? And he said, yes. And I said, do you like beans? Because I had just brought some leftovers. And he said, yes. And I said, would you like them cold or do you want me to heat them up? So he said he wanted them warm. And I said, is there anything else? And he said, can I have some water? And I said, how about this? Because I didn't want him just standing outside the door in the house. I felt a little protective of myself. And so I said, how about this? You keep going around doing your job and you come back and I'll leave you a package and I'll put it in something you can carry. And what's your name? He said, Kwam, which I think is kind of cool because it's sort of like Kwan, but Kwam. I said, great, I'll leave it for you on the steps so we might not see each other.

[66:52]

So I scurried off and went and made two big bags filled with some clothes that give away in our giveaway things. And then I made, I put chips and cheese and warmed up beans and a fork and a spoon. And I had in a giveaway lunch bag. And then I gave, I had a, like a coffee mug carry that I was giving away. So I filled it with ice and water. And I left it on the stairs with a card. And the card that I took, I just took whatever card was in the place I keep the card. And it happened to be a thank you card. And I thought, yeah, this is giving me the to offer something to someone who really needs what I have and don't need. So I wrote him a thank you note. I just said, I hope these fit.

[67:52]

And if they don't, you can give them, pass them along to people who may will. And, you know, good luck. And I said, left them on the front steps. And about 20 minutes after I'd left them, I looked and they were still there. And I felt really bummed out. Like, oh, he didn't come back. And I thought, well, how do I deal with that? Because this whole time I was thinking. my own compassion. And like, what do I, am I needing something back for, is that just, am I, is this sentimental? Am I just being nice and wanting like, oh good, I did something good. And I thought, well, if that's the case, I'll deal with it, but I'll leave it till later. Take it in right now. And about an hour or more, time went by and I looked and it was gone. And I, So several things have come up for me since then.

[68:55]

One, really trying to kind of that sentimental piece, like my ego, that wanting to have been helpful, wanting to know that I was helpful, which is a nice thing. It doesn't feel mean, but it's self-aggrandizing or something. But then when you were talking, I certainly felt like he had a beautiful, interesting story. I didn't know if it was a true story or a story, a sales pitch story, but he was clearly hungry. He looked hungry. He was skinny and box had holes in them. And I knew that I had given him something useful, including food. but that feeling of equal, I still feel sad. Like I want to feed him more and I want to take away the pain and I want to, and I don't mean the suffering because his story is one of suffering so that I know enough in my experience that that doesn't go away.

[70:12]

But, and I feel grateful. And if, that because it was an opportunity to exchange something meaningful in the middle of my day in a surprising in a surprising way but but I'm not sure about the equal not equal and I feel like that's like it's another step I would like to hear your your thoughts um the realization of the quality of you and that person is, you know, very profound. And Karaka 50 is saying, if you keep practicing compassion, it will grow and grow and grow. And your reward for this growing is that you'll be able to help more people and be more

[71:19]

more people. And that generosity will lead to more wealth in terms of more ways to help people. And that all will make you ready to receive more and more suffering and go deeper and deeper into it. So I don't know if any of us in this class are gonna realize actually the equality of self and others. But I think you are in the process, you're in the context of practicing compassion, of noticing these sentimentalities and disappointments, showing that you still haven't understood equality of self and other, which is also equality of picking it up or not picking it up. the equality of somebody else coming and take. Therefore, all that is, if we're disturbed by that, that shows us we haven't really penetrated to the deepest part of the suffering.

[72:31]

But you're in the game. You're doing it. You're working on it. You're looking at it. You're questioning. And it's proposing that a certain level of insight is on the horizon for us. And you're in the environment where the insight is found. It felt a little bit, there was a part of me that felt like he was a monk, like from a, you know, he was asking with his bowl for food. The difference between him and a monk, though, is the monks aren't supposed to do sales pitches. No, they're not. But even if a monk did, we still should give to him or her. Exactly. He didn't need to give a sales talk. However, when he did it, you realize, this is a human. He's an intelligent being. Even if he's not telling the truth, he's relating to me.

[73:36]

And also, he looks like he needs And I don't want to buy the book, but I'm happy to share my food and clothes with him. So I actually feel joy about giving that to him. And compassion will make that generosity grow. And again, even though it's growing, as you practice it, you notice these little glitches. And then practice compassion with those. And in this way, the compassion grows, the generosity grows, the joy grows. And we open up more and more and go deeper and deeper. So maybe we haven't quite reached that point yet of full realism. We're on this path. This is telling us a little about where we're going. Okay? Thank you. Hey, Rob.

[74:39]

I had a question going back to the conversation that you were having with Pam. You're talking about realizing that you don't understand equality and feeling that terror. Is that terror also all of the harm that you have done by not realizing equality and all the opportunities you've missed? is the joy, the recognition that you have forever to atone for that and to... What you mentioned, I wouldn't call that the terror, but that's part of what's coming to you that's terrifying. If we could see all the, if all the missed opportunities of our life came to us, because we're compassionate, would be a great gift. You know, bodhisattvas get to see all their missed opportunities come to them.

[75:50]

Like in 12-step programs, people look at all the missed opportunities. They all come to them, and it's terrifying. You're talking about it more, not those things aren't terrifying. Those things are the things we're terrified of. But now, if you take care of that terror, now you're not missing an opportunity. But if you all the times you miss the opportunity, that's like, oh, my God, I missed so many. I missed out so many times. Oh, my. Wow. Okay. All right. Hey, maybe I'm practicing compassion because look what's coming. My karma is like showing itself to me. And it's like amazingly huge. And I'm scared, but I also read this text, this Bodhisattva text, which said this is part of the deal, is when you see your past flaring up in front of you, it can be terrifying.

[76:57]

Okay. And now I'm going to practice compassion with that terror. The stuff has come. Got the terror, practice compassion with the terror and all this stuff. Practice compassion with all the missed opportunities. And practicing compassion with is a great artwork. You know, have you heard of Marcel Proust? From you. Yeah. So his great masterpiece is remembrance of things of loss You could say remembrance of missed opportunities. Remembrance of all the times I wasn't compassionate. That book's full of him remembering all this pettiness, all the petty people. And some people get angry at him because when he tells them how petty he was, he's remembering he missed the opportunity of being kind.

[78:03]

And this is the great masterpiece of the 20th century, is contemplate it. all the missed opportunities. We can do that too. We can little by little missed opportunities and make this great masterpiece of contemplation out of it. But we have to be compassionate to the stuff and it's tough stuff. Thank you. You're welcome. Well, by the way, I forgot to mention, Margie hasn't asked a question yet, so I think she should be next. I wanted to people who have not come forth, without pressuring you, I invite you.

[79:08]

I think the assembly would love to hear from some of you who have not yet come forth. So please, in our remaining time together, not tonight, but next week, please coming out and dialoguing with me so that the Great Assembly can see your contribution too. Besides, we appreciate you're just here, but I request that. And thank you, Margie, for coming forth tonight. Leslie? Might be a quick question and a variation of many people's questions because I'm thinking about times I've been compassionate and I think it's much more easy for me to be compassionate to somebody I might look down on. And now I'm feeling horrible about that. I'm separate and better and I can be compassionate because I think they're suffering more than I am, and I'm somehow superior.

[80:11]

And I don't know what to do with that. Be compassionate to it. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. Margie? Are you here, Margie? Oh, there you are. Can you light yourself up a little bit? Yeah, I will. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What's been on my mind a lot in regards to compassion. I appreciated Barbara Jones' story.

[81:14]

I had a similar one. But I... All the neighbors on my street... I've lived in this neighborhood for a long time. And... just offering compassion to the many different people are in. I think it's just trying to find that equity that we're all suffering and just sitting with that idea of the shared I don't know that I have a question. I mean, I just feel that I'm in a receiving and giving situation, and I need to be patient with it.

[82:17]

If you have a comment, Reb. Well, patience is part of compassion. Compassion includes patience. So you're, yeah, so you're, are you, are you practicing generosity with these people? I think so, but I think I also need to examine that more. And examining it is kind of like, so we have generosity and we have ethics and patience. Those are the first three bodhisattva training methods. So be generous. But then the next ethical discipline is to question what you're doing. For example, as Leslie was just saying, are you putting yourself above them at all? I don't feel like. Oh, you're asking myself.

[83:24]

Ask yourself, am I putting myself above them? Ethics is to be careful. So you're giving them a gift, but you're being careful. You're being careful as you give it. For example, you check before you give it. You say, may I give you a gift? You don't just, well, I can give you a gift without talking to you about it. I have a gift. Would you, may I give you a gift? Is now a good time? So being careful and gentle with your generosity, which maybe you're being gentle and tender as you give the gift. But also part of ethical training is questioning myself. So I'm giving gifts, but if I don't question myself, then I'm not being ethical. Is now a good time to give them a gift? I feel like. But I wonder, am I up to anything else here?

[84:25]

Am I trying to become the most famous person in my neighborhood? You know, the most compassionate person in the neighborhood? You might say, no, but I don't care about whether you say no or yes, maybe. I'm just saying, it's good for me to question when I give a gift. If I don't question when I give a gift, The giving is not as compassionate as giving and questioning my giving. And also questioning my giving means also questioning the appropriateness of the gift and the timing of it. And then also being patient with the pain of the situation. And then also checking, am I practicing generosity to reduce the pain, to get less pain? So self-criticism or self-questioning, self-accounting is part of compassion.

[85:32]

And it would apply that to your generosity. And also apply questioning to your general practice of compassion. Is it possible that my compassion has some shortcomings? And to that, you might have an answer. But even if you say yes, it doesn't mean that's the last question. And also, although I might say, does my compassion have any shortcomings? And I might say, yes, these are the shortcomings. If I ask other people, does my compassion have some shortcomings? They might have some things to say that I never thought of. So it's not just my compassion. but me being able to be called into account and questioned by others. So now I'm suggesting as you practice compassion, question yourself.

[86:40]

Let others know that you would like them to question you too about what you're up to. Or let them know that you welcome their questioning of your compassionate work in the neighborhood. If you're ready to do that, that's a big step. And you might say, well, I'm only ready to do that with a couple of people in the neighborhood, not everybody. There's some people that I'm not ready to have them call me into question yet. But this person, I would like them to call me into question. I think that would be helpful. And you said at the beginning, I think, did you say you didn't really have a question exactly? A question didn't present itself to me. But now there's... The importance of conversation brought that out.

[87:45]

Yeah, yeah. The conversation brought out the need for being able to be questioned. That's part of compassion. And people are asking lots of questions. That's really appropriate. Well, it's a little bit past our usual ending time, so I guess we should end. May our intention equally extend to every being and place. With the true merit of Buddha's way, beings are numberless. I vow them. Afflictions are inexhaustible. I vow to cut through.

[88:46]

Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha way is unsurpassable. I vow to become it.

[88:59]

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