I see a kind of... there is a vision appearing of a kind of field or pattern of relationship and in this pattern I see all of us together and I see a question as to whether whether we understand how to be calm together, whether we understand and are practicing giving up the thoughts that are arising, There's a wondering about whether we're ready to contemplate teachings.

[01:15]

There is an interest in offering teachings And there's awareness of a question about whether there's readiness for the teachings. So this is a pattern which is appearing, one might say, to someone's consciousness. To a consciousness. Can you hear me all right, Hamlet? Not bad, is it? Would it help if you move closer? Are you okay? I often mention that, again, I sometimes witness, or I should again say, there is witnessing of a pattern of thought like this, that at the beginning of retreats,

[03:00]

Some of our minds are like plants that have not been watered for a while. And if you pour water on a plant that hasn't been watered for a while, sometimes the water just runs off. But if you moisten the surface of the earth, the plants in, for some time, and as it becomes more and more moist, then if you pour water on it, it goes right in. So sometimes I think, I wonder, I think means there's a pattern of intention that wonders, you know, how much water to pour on and how much we should just moisten the earth. And the moistening is the kind of making the earth or making the ground of mind ready to receive.

[04:04]

So it's a kind of feeling whether it's time to give more more words. Is there any questions you'd like to express about how to settle?

[05:57]

Are you relatively clear about how to practice settling down? Do you have any doubts about how to settle down? Yes? Pardon? In the herd, there will be just the herd. Do you hear my voice? Do you hear the bird? Yeah.

[06:58]

In that hearing of that bird, can there just be the hearing of the bird, period? Pardon? Yeah. And again, that's how to train the mind to settle down. hearing in that way, just hearing the sound of the bird, period. That's it. Can you be with that sound like that? No, right now. That's how. You said sometimes, very rarely, but each time you're with the bird that way, that's the way of being with the sound of the bird. Now the cows?

[08:02]

Now the airplane? Are you able to be that way with it now? That's how. It's that simple. But it's not easy. because it means giving up any kind of comment on the sound of the airplane, any kind of comment on the sound of the cows and the birds. And sometimes there isn't a bird. Hmm? And sometimes there isn't a bird or an airplane. Right. Well, then there's silence. And then there can be no comment on silence. non-discursive silence. But non-discursive silence can happen right with the sound of the bird. When you don't hear the bird's sound, continue the non-discursive silence.

[09:09]

And when you see something, like looking at my face now, or me looking at your face, to see my face with no comment, In what you see, let there just be what is seen, that's all. Not even you looking at me, but just this what you see. And in the physical, tactile sensations, let them just be a tactile sensation. And in the smell and in the taste, and then in every thought that arises, like second day of retreat. Or someone just laughed. In those thoughts, in those concepts, let it just be that. That's basically how to calm down.

[10:19]

If you can be that way consistently, you will calm down. Any further questions about that? Do you have a clue now? about how to practice that? Yes, Devin.

[11:42]

Could you please clarify the difference between commenting on one's experience and the thought just being a thought? He said clarify a difference between Between commenting on an experience and a thought being a thought. Could you give an example of a thought that you would like to discuss? Shall I ask this question? Pardon? Shall I ask this question? That thought. It could just be a thought being a thought. It could also be commenting on... So if the thought arises, shall I ask a question, and you're practicing tranquility, then you just hear that thought.

[12:49]

It would be like hearing a bird say that. It would be like you're hearing a bird say, you just say, and there would be no comment on, shall I ask a question? There would just be in that thought, there would just be that thought. That would be giving up discoursing on that sentence, which that sentence might be a discourse in itself. Shall I ask this question? It's almost a discourse. But that package of that event could be treated in this very, could be treated non-discursively. If you say, shall I ask this question, and then in response to that you say, I better not ask it because it might be stupid? Yeah, that would be like, that would be not leaving it alone, that would be getting into it.

[14:06]

That would be conceptually elaborating that. But to hear the sound of the bird, period, there's no conceptual elaboration. If you say, that's a lovely sound, Or, I wish the crows would shut up. That's conceptually elaborating the sound of the crow. Even saying crow sound, when you hear the sound of the crow, is a slight elaboration. But not much. Not as much as courts were capable of. because we can say, I wish the crows would shut up, and yesterday they stopped making noise at a certain time, I wonder if they'll do it at the same time today, and nigh that, but now the airplanes are going by, and now I have airplanes and crows, and also, why are they, are they doing kind of military exercises here? Is that what's going on in the countryside? And so on. This is a discourse.

[15:08]

which of course we all know how to do. And it's not to say that discursive thought is a bad thing, it's just that giving it up consistently for some period of time will come to fruit as a clear, buoyant, flexible, receptive, concentrated, joyful, relaxed state of mind. And in that state of mind, of course, then we are ready to learn about what's happening. Then we can learn about the things which we weren't commenting on before. Then you can learn about thoughts and sounds of birds. You can learn, [...] until finally you realize that they have no inherent self, and then you are enlightened by them.

[16:20]

Does that answer your question somewhat? Yes. Kamisha? Could you come up here? I can't hear you. I was just wondering how you suggest we deal with distraction. She's coming up and she's asking the question. Come up close and talk into the microphone. I was just wondering how you would suggest we deal with distraction. How I would suggest you deal with distraction? With no comment. I find that, especially if we're doing the walking meditation, I'll get an itch.

[17:23]

And then I kind of, I don't really get into a thought about whether or not I should scratch my head, but I'll just do it anyway. But then it distracts me from what I'm doing. She said if she gets an itch, it distracts her from what she's doing. When an itch arises, if you're practicing settling, When an itch arises, in the itch, there's just an itch. That's all. That's the gesture of tranquility. So you feel an itch, period. In the itch, there's just an itch. In that tactile sensation, there's just that tactile sensation. Okay, so to scratch it then. to scratch it. If then the next moment you're scratching it, then in that tactile sensation of scratching, either the tactile sensation of the finger, the muscular sensation of the fingers moving, there's just that, or in the tactile sensation of feeling the fingers scratching the body, in that scratch there's just a scratch.

[18:36]

In the itch there's just a itch, in the scratch there's just a scratch. And that's okay. When you say, and that's okay, in that expression, that's okay, that's all there is to it. There's no, like, answering the question. You said okay, in that okay, just okay. In that laughter, they're just a laughter. In the nodding, they're just a nodding. In the blinking, they're just a blinking. In the smiling, they're just a smiling. That's it. That's how to train in tranquility. All throughout this whole scenario, there's activity. Okay? There's activity. However, in tranquility practice, you're not really looking at, you're not studying the activity. Once you're tranquil, then you will be able to look at your activity, which is your mind, you're constantly active.

[19:41]

Every moment you're active, every moment of experience comes with activity. And that's what I was talking about yesterday. And the activity of a moment of consciousness is called intention or volition. But I'm also aware that if, from talking to people, I'm aware that if you're not calm enough, it's difficult to study the activity. Because if you're not calm enough, If you study this with an uncalmed mind, it's a little difficult to actually see how it's working. So calming meditation, you're not actually inquiring into what's happening. You're just being simple with what's happening. You're just knowing what's happening, just knowing what's happening, knowing the itch, knowing the scratch, knowing the question.

[20:42]

Period. and training the mind to be able to do that continuously until it comes to fruit as a tranquil state of consciousness. Yes, would you come up here? Juliet Grace. So when you notice commenting. Can you hear? Speak up a little bit. So when you notice commenting. Can you hear now? So when you notice commenting. Can you hear now? I can hear you now. In the moment of noticing, then you just notice it. When you notice a comment, then in noticing the comment, there's just a comment.

[21:50]

When you first start noticing comments, you may notice it's not just a comment. You may notice there's a comment on the comment. Or there's you being aware of the comment. The more you train it, after a while, it's just like, you're just a comment. And then you become calm. And from there, you can go on to inquiring into relationships, which opens the door to wisdom. Okay? I want to ask, when is it good to practice not scratching the itch? I mean... She says, when is it good to practice not scratching the itch? Well, I would say that a lot of the times, most of us, you know, are over 20 here,

[23:07]

been living for more than 20 years, and so we have at least 20 years of feeling itches and scratching behind us. So I think all of us know what it's like to scratch and itch. And in the future there will be probably more opportunities if we live longer. But some of us don't have much experience with feeling an itch and just feeling the itch, and see what it's like to just feel an itch. And then sometimes feel it again, and again, and again. So it's not so much that you should not scratch an itch, but rather it is kind of interesting to sometimes feel certain things and not do something about it. So if you want to, when you're sitting and you feel some itch on your body surface someplace, it sometimes is useful just to see what it's like to just feel it and not try to do anything about it.

[24:15]

But I wouldn't say that you shouldn't scratch an itch. Or if an insect's crawling on your face, I think we all know what it's like to shoo it away. But it's also interesting to do some, once in a while, to see what it's like to let it walk around there on your face for a while. Just see what that's like. Just to experience each little pitter-pat on your cheeks. Just feel what it's like. And then see if you can feel that, period. Each step of the insect on your face, feel each one. It might be quite useful to experience it that way. On the other hand, if you resist scratching and you tense up and get more and more tense, the more the itch is going there, that may be counterproductive. It might be better just to scratch and relax.

[25:19]

So you can experiment with that. Same with the thought. If some thought is coming back again and again and you're not going to scratch it, you're not going to get involved with it, and somehow you just start tensing up around not getting involved with it, that's not quite the right way. It's to not get involved, not elaborate, but try to do it in a relaxed way. Don't tense up and say, you know, I'm not going to comment on this thought. Just let it go, kind of. Don't fight, don't fight elaboration. Don't fight the thoughts. Don't fight the scratch. But some scratches just happen if you, you know, some scratches you feel, I mean some itches, they itch and then they go away and they don't come back. Not all itches require scratching. But some just keep pestering you and then after a while you say, oh, okay, well, I think I'll scratch it.

[26:22]

because it seems to be calling for a scratch. And, okay, okay, okay, you really want to get scratched. It wasn't just a fleeting thing. It wasn't a one-time request. In that case, probably a good idea to... But you might have developed quite a bit composure of not getting involved with the previous messages. Yes, your name? Michael? Yeah, back pain, yes. So you're wondering how to relate to those pains? Well, to develop composure, the same way. Just in the pain, there will be just the pain. And so that's the way of developing composure.

[27:24]

Any further questions? Looks like you have another question. You're finding... You're finding it difficult to do what? Yeah, so that's a slightly different phrase, but also important. Accept that it's pain. And, because you could accept it as pain and then elaborate on that. So accepting this pain is more like part of patience practice. But accept it as pain and just let that moment of pain be pain will come to fruit as tranquility. I'm not saying it's easy to accept pain in a pain, in a painful sensation. I'm not saying it's easy

[28:26]

to let that pain just be that pain. But I'm saying if you're able consistently to let a pain just be a pain, that will come to fruit as ease and concentration and so on. Now, I think there's a question sort of hovering like, should you do something to make yourself more comfortable? That's a different question. And certain kinds of pains, it might be better, it might be good for you to change your posture or something. You know, or sit in a chair might be helpful, I don't know. But there's some conditions where some people have pain which there's nothing they can do about it. There's no position they can get in to get out of it. But even in those situations, people can discover a way to be tranquil and at ease and buoyant and joyful with pain, although it's difficult.

[29:36]

But it's also difficult for people to practice tranquility with neutral sensation and positive sensation. People, generally speaking, find the practice of tranquility difficult for the first long period of time, usually. And pain is difficult anyway, not just difficult if you're practicing tranquility. pain is almost always challenging. So I would encourage you to work on your posture and experiment with different ways of sitting to find a comfortable posture. But if you can't find a comfortable posture, you can't find any comfortable posture, If there's no way for you to get away from the pain, then I would say, well, if you've done your best, then that's your situation now, and I'm sorry that you're in pain.

[30:50]

However, you can still treat the pain in such a way that you will become calm with the pain. And I know many people who have achieved great peace and tranquility with a painful situation. It's almost for those, sometimes they say it's almost like the pain goes away. Almost. But sometimes it's actually they feel the pain, sometimes they say the pain is the same, but there's tranquility and ease with the pain. Any comment on that? But feel free, you know, if sitting in a chair would help. Do you think that might help? Pardon? You have not tried? You've tried. So any kind of sitting seems to be uncomfortable for you. Have you tried reclining? No? You might try reclining.

[31:52]

The Buddha practiced meditation in a reclining posture some of the time. So you might try reclining. And it's possible that if you're reclining and the pain is different or reduced, you might be able to, there you might have an easier time getting into the tranquility practice. And then maybe with the tranquility, you will be able to see and understand the, you know, your situation better and you might be able to find a way to sit. But some people have asked if they could recline during this retreat, and I have said yes. Usually in, you know, if you go to Zen monasteries, usually there's nobody reclining. But usually in Zen monasteries, except for the teachers, the monks are under thirty, most of them.

[33:00]

The majority of training monks are under thirty. And anyway, remember that the Buddha was one who did recline. However, while the Buddha was reclining, the Buddha was in a state of tranquility and wisdom. So you can practice standing, sitting, walking, reclining, etc., And so feel supported by me to look for the posture which is most appropriate for you at a given point in your life, at a given time in your life. Posture which really seems most appropriate among the different options.

[34:05]

Is that okay? Yes. Was there another person in front of him? Yes. Is your name Michael also? Yes. Yeah. I was thinking yesterday evening. Can you hear him in the back? You can't? Okay. He was thinking yesterday evening. And it's a question, it's something I've thought of before when I've been on a retreat. It's rather, for me, like an athlete who has trained over 100 metres, and then suddenly the next day he runs a marathon. And it seems to me to be... a situation it's too much too quickly. Yes, maybe so. So maybe this retreat schedule is too much too quickly?

[35:15]

Is that what you're saying? Yeah, it often feels like that. Yeah. I think a lot of people share that with you. And So what do we do when it's too much? How do you want to do it? Too much is enough. Hmm? Too much is enough. Too much is enough, right. Well, except for some people too much isn't enough, but for you maybe today too much is enough. Pardon? Give him a break. Give him a break? I give you a break. Pardon? Don't give me permission. I'm sorry. Did you say, don't give you permission? No.

[36:15]

Yes? What's your hand back there? Yes? I've been having difficulty with the sense of thought. I just know it's obsessive. Could you come up here and speak so everyone can hear you? You have kind of a soft voice. Michael's voice... Manly. Your voice is more manly than this. I've been having trouble with discursive thought, but not so much a matter of not having some space, but a matter of will. And I hope you don't mind. I've forgotten your name. Jill. Jill. You sounded to me a little bit cross when you said... And I've been cross as well. And it reminded me.

[37:21]

And the idea of wanting, and maybe not you, but me, wanting not to let go of something. And just wondering... about attachments and why the self feels a need to hang on to things that, yeah, hang on to the self. Your question is, why does the self feel a need to hang on to things? The idea of sitting with pain or to let go into any possibility feels very

[38:22]

frightening and it sort of makes me cross that that's what I've got to do. Are you saying that there's an idea of letting go into what? Into possibility? Any possibility. I didn't quite understand what you mean by letting go into possibility. Not trying to impose my take on something or my need or myself not trying to impose your take on something so something's happening and you're going to so something's happening and you usually impose your take on it yes so I could that's your usual way is to impose your take on something yes yeah that's the usual way and then you've heard about not imposing your take on something Which I can do sometimes.

[39:28]

Which sometimes happens, yes. Okay, so we've got that, now what's your question? The irritation, the anger, irritation with an expectation, and maybe an expectation of myself, but of the universe, that I could be able to do that with anything I was presented with. So then you're sensing an expectation that you would be able to not impose your take on things? Yes. Because you know you can impose your take on things. She's aware, she has a lot of experience with imposing her take on things. Right? And then you've heard about not imposing your take on things. You've heard about that. And now there seems to be an expectation of this thing you've heard about. Is that right? Is there an expectation of that new trick? kind of think about that.

[40:38]

I just know I feel very anxious about letting go of discursive thought because it will lead to something quite big. She said she has some something to... An anxiety. An anxiety about letting go of discursive thought because it might lead to something big. Yeah? And then around that anxiety you can get irritated and angry. Yeah. Yeah. So I appreciate you offering that. Okay. And this is her particular example, but I've heard this from many people. If you hear about letting go of discursive thought, If you can consistently let go of discursive thought you will become calm and relaxed. However, some people feel like if they let go of discursive thought something big or overwhelming might come.

[41:51]

And it's true that letting go of discursive thought in some sense is letting down some defenses at the same time. We can use discursive thought to defend ourselves against our relationship with the world. So part of calming down is reducing our defensiveness. Being very defensive makes us irritated. And discursive thought is one of the ways we defend. We look at somebody, we don't just see them, we comment on them, and our comments help us feel in control and defended. Like, this is a dangerous person, this is a friendly person. Now, when we say dangerous person, we don't feel comfortable, but at least we feel like we're coping. But to look at somebody and not say whether he's a friend or not, just see them without thinking what they look like, that's the way to calm down. And so we have a special environment like this where you don't have to be looking at your neighbor all the time thinking about whether they're your friend or not.

[42:57]

Because you think, well, they probably didn't let criminals in here. So you don't have to be checking everybody out all the time. But still, you're a little bit afraid, naturally, of whether you can really look at someone without commenting because even some people you feel like they won't like it if I just look at them without commenting. They'll be irritated if I don't think something about them. They'll notice that I'm not commenting and they won't like me. Anyway, this is difficult to give up discursive thought. It is. And part of the problem is that you might open to something if you did that because giving up discursive thought is letting down your defenses somewhat. And then the other thing you brought up, which is not quite the same, is that one naturally, innately, we, did you say put your take on something?

[44:05]

You can say you put your take on things, but another way to put it is you put your take on things so that you can take them. You put a kind of a package on things. which is your take. But your take on things is so you can take them. If we would look at things without putting a take on them, we wouldn't be able to take them. So what we do, naturally, and this is something which you may hear about somebody overcoming by training, is we project a packaging on every event that we experience. And then that packaging is how we can get a hold of it. Without packaging the world, we can't grasp it. And again, we're deeply inclined towards making the world into a graspable event, into a field of graspable events. So part of the training is to notice that and learn a way of relating with the world without grasping it.

[45:12]

And that could be also, as you contemplate what that would be like, that could be terrifying. Because we're so used to thinking that life depends on being able to grasp the world we live in. So the tranquility meditation is a warm-up to the wisdom mind which knows things without grasping. So the awakened cognition is aware with no grasping, which means not converting the world into a packaged deal. That's the awakened mind which is possible to realize. together with all beings. That's what this text is about.

[46:15]

And being tranquil is to soften us up and warm us up to start to contemplate this possibility. But even the tranquility has this problem that you mentioned, that giving up discursive thought is to some extent giving up one of our defensive moments and And, you know, there is danger all the time in our life. Our life is surrounded by danger, or our life is chock-full of danger. And if you practice tranquility, you actually open to the danger which is already there. But the Buddha encourages us to open to the danger which is already there.

[47:17]

Because if we turn away from and ignore danger, we tend to become intoxicated, and our behavior becomes unskillful, because we're in a state of denial about the natural dangers which surround us. Are you hearing this okay? So I appreciate you saying that there is some... Because you're sincerely trying to do this, you're actually experiencing a normal change where you feel more defenseless. I also know it's quite hard to do outside of here. I've just experienced that and it has a response when I sit. A number of people have talked to me about how they're struggling with whether they can live outside of a special situation like this.

[48:27]

And just recently at a retreat that I did last week someone said to me how grateful she was to those who provide and maintain a place for people to find their place. Of course you're always where you are and you can always find your place but people sometimes don't dare to find their place except in a place that's officially dedicated to help people find their place. And this place is a place that's set up to help you find your place. And then even now that you're here, in a place that's trying to, and with other people who are supporting you, the place and the people are supporting each of us to find our place, right where we are. Still, it doesn't mean it's easy. And then we know that if we're outside with other people, and if we ask them, are you here to help me find my place?

[49:34]

They will say, what? Of course not. I want you to buy something. But if you ask me, am I here to help you find your place? I will say, totally. I'm here to help you find your place. I want you to find your place. You are in your place and I want you to find it and I support you to find it. And once you find your place, then you can see the practice. Once you find your place, the practice will occur. You will see the practice and you will see that the practice realizes reality right in front of you. But you have to find your place. But that doesn't mean it's easy to find your place because Because you still are a little bit afraid of what will happen to you if you stop distracting yourself from where you are.

[50:35]

Stop thinking of some other place than here. You're afraid of what will happen to you. That's quite normal. So it's normal to have the problems you're having. normal to be afraid, normal to get irritated, and even to think that somebody's expecting you to get enlightened real fast, and that there's something wrong with you to not have gotten farther by second day. Thank you. Yes? Yes? If you stay there, you have to speak up, please. She says, is what I'm saying the same as mindfulness? I would say that mindfulness is necessary in order to practice tranquility.

[51:39]

So, in mindfulness, So you say, in the herd, there will be just the herd. So in order to train in that way, you have to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness has a, what do you call it, has an element of what we call alertness. And alertness means that you're attending to the current event. And then it also has... this quality of, like the Buddha says, you know, the person is mindful of the body in the body, mindful of the body in and of itself, mindful of sounds in and of themselves, mindful of tastes and touches, just that kind of mindfulness is the kind of mindfulness which, when it becomes continuous, comes to fruit as tranquility. Mindfulness can also be used, once tranquility, then you can use mindfulness to study and inquire and learn about things.

[52:50]

You can also use mindfulness to study and inquire about things when you're not calm, it's just that it's harder to study something if you're not calm. So mindfulness is used in developing tranquility and wisdom. It's used throughout the process, which we call the Buddha way. But it can be used to develop tranquility by applying it to notice, to be mindful of the present event, and to be mindful of treating it with no conceptual elaboration. Mindfulness, in a sense, doesn't conceptually elaborate. So, in a sense, to be mindful of things already is not conceptually elaborating. And then you can also use mindfulness to remember to not conceptually elaborate.

[53:53]

So the conceptual elaboration equipment, which is not mindfulness, can be watched with mindfulness, and mindfulness can be aware, oh, now the conceptual elaboration is going on. And if you're practicing tranquility and your conceptual elaboration goes on, then you confess it and repent it and go back to no conceptual elaboration. So is that something you can practice? Pardon? Is practicing tranquility something you should practice constantly? Good question. The answer is no. She said, is practicing tranquility something you should do constantly? And no, you don't do it constantly. You practice tranquility until you become tranquil. Once you're tranquil, you don't have to practice tranquility anymore because you're tranquil. So once you're concentrated, the type of training which produces concentration can be set aside because you are concentrated.

[54:56]

So tranquility training is not the same as tranquility. Some people are, right in this room, are practicing tranquility quite skillfully, but it hasn't taken effect yet. But they're doing it properly, but they're training at it, they haven't attained it. Tranquility is actually a state. It's a state of consciousness that's buoyant, flexible, concentrated, clear, joyful, and so on. That's a tranquil state. Also, you can be tranquil and continue to train in tranquility in a tranquil state, and that makes the tranquility deeper. You can be quite tranquil, sufficiently tranquil to successfully do wisdom work, but you can also deepen the tranquility. So you can be tranquil and deepen the tranquility, but also you can be tranquil and turn the tranquility practice off for a while and then turn to the learning phase, to the studying phase, the wisdom phase.

[56:08]

And you can make tremendous progress in wisdom training when you're calm enough. You can also make some progress in wisdom training when you're not very calm. But there comes a time when we're so agitated that we can't even hear the instructions. We can't even understand how to learn anything. So as you know in school they try to get the kids to calm down a little bit. They want them to have breakfast before they come to school. Because if they haven't had breakfast they can't listen to the lessons. Because they're so agitated and hungry and their blood sugar is so off that they can't listen to the teacher. So just having breakfast helps them sit in their chairs and listen to the lessons. Like today is, we call today Tuesday, you know, or Sunday. They can listen. Today we're going to teach you how to tell time, and they can look and hear the teacher.

[57:11]

And sometimes they can't even do that, so they give them Ritalin. You know, now they give kids drugs to calm them down. And other times what they do is they have time out, or quiet time. And now even in some schools they are practicing meditation. And they're teaching kids to practice tranquility. I don't know how good the teachers are, but anyway. It is well known to a lot of people that it's hard to learn the piano or spelling or mathematics or wisdom if you're not calm. But once you're calm then you can go on to a different type of meditation. And when you inquire, when you listen to the teachings and learn about them, you actually start using your discursive thought again. But now you're using discursive thought to learn the nature of events. You're not using discursive thought to protect yourself from what's happening and to maintain your sense of something that's not even going on.

[58:18]

namely, your independent existence from all these other dangerous people who are threatening your independence. I could go on just for, you know, spend the whole morning on questions, or I could introduce a little bit more material. What do you want? And the people who have questions, do you agree with that? Okay. I'm going to jump ahead a little bit in the text and just read you a line and come back to the earlier part of the text. It says here in the section about riding in a boat, It says that... It's the paragraph which starts out with, when you ride in a boat, can you find that part?

[59:34]

And the bottom it says, when you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that nothing whatever has unchanging self. Another way to say this is, When you give close attention to every action, it will become clear that nothing has unchanging self. And another way to say this is, when you pay close attention to every intention, because intention is the Buddha's definition of actions, When you pay close attention to each moment, to your intention, the truth of selflessness of phenomena, of all phenomena, will become clear to you. Now I'd like to go back to a little earlier in the text when it says, to carry yourself forward and experience myriad dharmas, or myriad things, is delusion.

[60:50]

When myriad things come forth and experience themselves is awakening. To have yourself and to carry yourself forward to experience all things is delusion. this picture of this landscape, this pattern of relationship, which has just been described, is the pattern of relationship of delusion. Delusion is a pattern of relationship. What kind of pattern of relationship? It's a pattern of relationship where there's you, you're already here, and then you go forward, you advance, and relate to the world.

[61:56]

For example, you then practice with a group of people. You practice meditation in a retreat. That's the pattern, that's the kind of activity which is called delusion. And most people That's the type of pattern of activity which, if they look in their mind, that's the way they see the relationship between themselves and the world. In other words, they see that God is Self, will travel. God is Self, will practice. God is Self, will do this, or want to do this and want to do that. This pattern is the pattern of delusion. Another kind of cognition called enlightenment is one in which the pattern of relationship is everything comes and then there's a self.

[63:11]

Everything that happens confirms the self. There isn't an a priori self. There isn't a beforehand self. There isn't an already here self. There is, we have a moment, and we have the sound of a bird, and the sound of a bird confirms the self. The self is born in the coming of the sound of the bird. There's not a self there beforehand, before things happen. Delusion in this picture, or delusion is a picture of a relationship between self and others. And enlightenment is also a picture or a pattern of relationship between self and other.

[64:22]

Both delusion and enlightenment are patterns of relationship between self and other. And every moment of consciousness, every moment of experience that we have has within it a pattern of relationship of self in the world. It's there every single moment. Most of the time, for most people, the pattern is a pattern which would be called, quotes, delusion. And I say quotes because it's not really delusion. It's just a type of relationship. And it's a relationship where got the self, and now we're going to relate to the world. We're going to relate to others. And enlightenment, it's basically the same situation.

[65:25]

You've got a self, and you've got others. Except that it's kind of the other way around, is you have others, and then you have a self. it's kind of the same ballpark of self in relationship to the world, except that in the first case, the self's independent of the world. In the second case, the self is born of the world. And to witness the self acting on the world is also to act on the self acting on the world. So this translation is saying, to carry yourself forward and experience all things is delusion. Another way to say it, to carry yourself forward and practice and confirm all things is delusion.

[66:29]

And another way to say it is, Acting on and witnessing myriad things with the burden of oneself, acting on and witnessing all things, all people, whatever, acting on and witnessing all things with the burden of self is delusion. Acting on and witnessing oneself in the advent of all things is enlightenment. When you're ready, you may be able to look inwardly and see the activity of your consciousness. Every moment of consciousness has activity, which is the karma of the moment. When you're ready, you can look inside and look and see what your intention is.

[67:35]

Your intention is that pattern of activity. and see if it's delusion or if it's enlightenment. And you probably will see it's delusion. But if you can see it's delusion, you are witnessing the Buddhadharma, because the Buddhadharma tells you what delusion's like. Right after this, after telling you what delusion is and what enlightenment is, then we are told that enlightenment about delusion is the Buddhas. Buddhas are those who are greatly enlightened about delusion. So if you look in your mind and you see a pattern of relationship between yourself and the world, and it's there every moment to be enjoyed or horrified by.

[68:47]

But anyway, if you're calm, you'll just see it calmly and clearly. Every moment you see yourself in relationship to the world. Most of the time you'll see, I'm here and there's the world. I'm here and I relate to the world. I'm going to practice this with the world. I'm going to do this with the world. I'm going to help the world. I'm going to harm the world. I'm going to be generous with the world. I'm going to be stingy with the world. Every moment there's some relationship between self and the world. When you're ready to look at it, when you can see it, you'll probably be studying delusion. If you keep studying that delusion, you will start to understand it. You will become eventually enlightened about that delusion. When you're enlightened about that delusion, Buddha is realized.

[69:49]

Now, when you're enlightened about the delusion, you see that actually it's the other way around. namely you see, oh, it's not that I'm acting on the world, I'm already here and I'm acting on the world, it's rather the world arises, which totally includes me. In other words, the more you study the self that's already here and acting upon the world, the more you study that, the closer you get to forgetting the self. And when you forget the self, then everything enlightens you. So learning the self and learning about your activity, moment by moment, is the same. Learning about the self and learning about your current intention is the same, because the self is a pattern of relationship and so is your activity. When you're first looking at your activity, you may not see it's a pattern of relationship, but the more you look at it, the more you'll see it's a pattern of relationship.

[70:54]

It's not a fixed thing. and the self too. At first it looks like a fixed thing, but the more you look at it, you see it's a pattern of relationship. But for most people it's a little hard, you know, it's easier in some way to see what you're doing than who you are or how you are. So studying your activity is a way to study the self. You can also just try to directly study the self, but it's harder. Studying your activity, your intention, is easier access. But I also acknowledge that it's hard to study, to actually look at your karma in the moment. It's hard to do that if you're not fairly calm. And of course it's hard to get fairly calm. But it's not impossible. And by the end of the week most of you will be considerably calmer than you were at the beginning.

[72:01]

I don't know when you'll be ready to comfortably, enjoyably look inwardly practice intimately with what's going on and return to your Self. But anyway, the text is pointing out that when we practice intimately and return to the Self, the truth that things are without Self will become clear. And practicing intimately means giving close attention to every action. And in every moment there is an action, and that action is your intention. The action we're referring to is your intention. And every moment of consciousness has an intention. If you're sitting still and not speaking or moving,

[73:06]

and you look into your consciousness, you may be able to find there is an intention in that consciousness. If you look at your body, which is maybe not moving, but it's sitting upright, you may see that in that upright sitting, that posture, which you are devoting your life to that posture, that in that posture there is the intention to sit up straight. There is the intention to have an upright posture. And in that intention there is a pattern of relationship between you and your body and you and the world and your body and the world. There is a view of that pattern. There is a picture. There is a way of seeing that. That is your current action which is manifesting in your bodily posture. And now while I'm speaking to you, In every part of speech there's an intention. And I can look and see what is my intention.

[74:14]

And my intention is how I see my relationship with you while I'm talking to you. What I want to say to you and how I see myself in relationship to you. And I can speak to you and watch my intention while I speak. It's there and you can see both simultaneously. And it's wonderful to see. It's wonderful to be home and to be aware of what I'm doing. And to be aware that what I'm doing is a pattern of relationship. That I'm home and I have a pattern of relationship with me. And the pattern of relationship is how I'm acting. And how I'm acting is totally connected to all of you. And my activity is nothing other, nothing at all, other than my relationship with all of you and the crows

[75:22]

And I can switch from delusion to enlightenment. I can think, I'm talking to you, or I can see that my relationship with you and what you support me to do is talking. So you can go back from enlightenment to delusion. They're inseparable. There's no delusion without enlightenment. They're both about the self relating to the world and the world relating to the self. They're both about how the self is not independent of the world and the world is not independent of the self. There's no world without the self and no self without the world. To think that there's a self without the world is delusion. To think that there's a world without the self is delusion. To see how the coming of the world is the self is enlightenment.

[76:36]

They're so intimate, delusion and enlightenment, and the self and the world are so intimate. And every moment you have a picture of this relationship, every moment you have in your mind a drama going on, of you and the world, of the world and you. And that drama is your activity. Your activity is not your activity. Your activity is your relationship with the world and the world's relationship with you. Every moment, it's there to be seen. If you look and have trouble, maybe it's not time. Then calm down some more. But when you're ready, practice intimately and return to where you are. And it will become clear that nothing has an abiding, independent self. And then everything will awaken you. And then you continue that practice with everyone.

[77:44]

Yes? So is there something like free will? Is there something like free will? Give me free will and I point out to you that free will does not have, what do you call it, an inherent self. So if there's free will, whose free will is it? It doesn't belong to you. So if you've got free will, okay, but it doesn't belong to you, it's my free will too. So I'm not saying there isn't free will, or is free will, I'm just saying, bring me free will and share it with me. And then you say, well, that wouldn't be very free then, because you get in on it. So anybody that's got free will in here, I'm involved. Not just me. So you can have free will if you share it with everybody, including George Bush.

[78:53]

What's your name again? Hillary. Huh? Hillary. Hillary. I was going to ask about the will, not the people, but the will. Yeah, the will, right. Like making a commitment or deciding you can try to practice the will for a long time. Is that the conclusion? So Hillary is saying the will, and again, I would use will as synonymous with intention. So will is the definition, could be a definition of activity. Okay? It's like a decision that you make that you want to practice in a certain way. Okay, so Hillary said it's like a decision that you make that you want to practice in a certain way, okay? So the idea of a decision that you make is an example of delusion. I make the decision, I make a decision to practice. That's a delusion pattern.

[80:02]

But when the decision to practice comes forward and confirms you, that's enlightenment. Could you come up here, please? So again, her example was when there seems to be a pattern of relationship there's a person and a decision to practice in some way. That pattern appears. If the person is coming forward and making the decision to practice, that's the pattern of delusion. But in that same pattern, You could see, oh, that's delusion. I've heard that patterns like that are delusion. I heard in this text that that's the pattern of delusion. Hillary or Reb come forward and make a decision to practice, maybe practice something really good.

[81:12]

And that's will, that's intention, that's action. And that has consequences. But right there, if you study that, you can see, oh, this is actually a delusion. There's another way of seeing it, that there's a certain practice on the horizon. And then there's a decision. The practice is coming forward. The practice is coming into this. The practice is starting. The practice is going to happen. There's a decision to do the practice. There's a decision for the practice to come into existence. And there's rest. who gets to be there and is realized in this moment with this event. That's enlightenment. It's just turning it the other way. So decisions do arise and to think that you make them is delusion. But when decisions arise and realize you even as the decision maker or as the recipient of the decision

[82:20]

That's enlightenment. I'm really sorry, but I still don't get the second part. You don't get the second part. No. You don't get the second part. The second part gets you. I can't wait for it to arrive. You don't get enlightenment. Enlightenment gets you. You don't get the world, the world gets you. You're nothing in addition to the world. But we think we are, we think there's a world plus something. But we're not in addition to the world. The world gives us birth and it owns us. And we, with everyone else, give rise to the world. Yes, Pete? So from that point of view, when we were talking earlier on about taking vows, Do the vows take us? Yeah, we often say taking vows, but again, another way, we say I take refuge, but I think it's nicer to say I go for refuge or I receive refuge.

[83:36]

So do the vows take us? the vows take us. They don't exactly take us, but we arise in dependence on the vows. So again, there's no human being who arises without a consciousness. And if there's a consciousness, you also arise with a vow. Vow, intention, will, they're synonyms, and they're definitions of the action of the mind. Knowing Knowing, the knowing you're experiencing right now, your present cognition is the action of the entire universe relative to your body. The way your body is interacting with the rest of the universe, the way your sensuous, feeling, sensing body is interacting with the world, is your cognition.

[84:38]

The whole world, including your body, makes your cognitions. Your cognitions are the activity of the universe. Once your cognitions arise and you're alive, your cognitions have a pattern of relationship with them. And that's your vow of the moment. That's your intention at the moment. That's the activity of your consciousness. And that also is a representation, a cognitive representation of your relationship with the whole world. But that relationship can be, that picture can be inaccurate. there can be a picture of you being there before the world and separate from the world. And that inaccurate picture of the world is called delusion. But also the cognition can have an accurate picture which can also be a vow. But the vow in this case is the vow which is the will of how the world makes you.

[85:49]

So it's a vow full of gratitude and non-separation. It's a vow coming out of the picture of non-separation and interdependence. Whereas the other one's a vow that's coming out of a feeling of separation and independent existence. But really, the vow takes us. We don't take the vow. We don't make the vow. We don't own it. We don't own it. We have a commitment towards it. We don't own it, and it doesn't own us. It actually doesn't own us. It creates us. With our consent. With our wholehearted consent. One hundred percent. However, if we don't see it that way, we think we can resist, and we feel stress, because we're resisting the gift of our life.

[86:55]

So we don't feel comfortable, more or less uncomfortable. Yes, and your name? Liz. Liz. Going back to the question of will and practice, it seems to me it's a bit like on the diet and exercise. It's like you're really kind of motivated. It kind of gets hold of you and you can do it and then, you know, you lose the motivation and then you lose the diet or the regular exercise or whatever it is. And I suppose what I'm asking is I can imagine if I'm get back off the street, you know, really kind of enthused and renovated and then being, who keep you sort of taken over by the, you know, sort of world of automation of this regular practice. And then, you know, a lot of things come up and, you know, it gets boring or whatever, so it's very easy to lose that sense of being taken by it.

[88:02]

So in that situation, we can recommend somehow bringing in women and discipline just to get back into that wanting to do it, being taken. Well, that was quite a bit of presentation, and I don't think it got recorded, so for those who were listening to the tape, I'm sorry you missed it all. But I think what you're saying is... I don't know what else to say. I feel touched by your expression or your dramatic presentation of someone who... who feels motivated to practice wholeheartedly. Did you just offer a dramatic... Wait a second, did you just show that? I thought I saw that. Were you aware that you kind of demonstrated someone who was full of enthusiasm for practice?

[89:04]

No, no, just a second. Did you notice that you just enacted, dramatically enacted a person who was enthusiastic about practice? Did you notice that you did that? Not at what level? Did you notice yourself doing that or not? No, yeah. Did other people notice her doing that? Yes. Okay? This is an example of, she's demonstrating enthusiasm to practice, but she didn't notice that she was demonstrating it. You demonstrated it beautifully, and it was very touching to see someone kind of like saying, I just feel this enthusiasm and motivation to practice wholeheartedly, and I'm just, you showed that. And right now I'm showing it. But then I asked you if you were aware of it, and you said, well, no. No. And then you also asked, then she also didn't quite dramatize the other side.

[90:15]

The other side she referred to, but she didn't dramatize it. She just described it. And that's the situation where you leave the retreat and you think, now I'll dramatize it. I'm just too busy to practice. I have to go back to retreat if I want to practice. I can't practice here. I just don't feel motivated. Actually, I don't want to do the practice. It's... Yeah, I just can't, you know. And besides that, I have more important things to do. Practice is stupid. This is a dramatization of an intention not to practice, of not even being the least bit wholehearted about practice. And you're kind of concerned about this latter case, what happens when that happens, right? Okay. The most important point This is the most important point. It's not, it's not. really enthusiastic about practice, whole-hearted, like, I want to practice, it's the most important thing. I think this is really what will help the world.

[91:18]

That's one way to be. The other one is, I don't want to practice. I don't think it's really worthwhile. And I'm just sort of a worthless person anyway, so how could I practice? It doesn't matter which of those you are, really. I mean, it does. I shouldn't say it doesn't matter. But it is somewhat important. And it's very touching to see both cases. But what's most important by far is that you're aware of your motivation in both cases. If now you feel enthusiastic to practice, if you feel the support of the whole group to support your practice, and you are feeling that it's happening, and I get to be here while it's happening, and everybody's supporting me and giving me this practice, and I get to enjoy it, and I love it, and I want to continue this, That's great. But what's most important is you know you feel that way. And you notice, hey, here is the intention to practice right now.

[92:19]

I see it. There's this pattern of relationship such that there is enthusiasm to practice. There's a pattern of relationship so that there's a decision to practice. But even while it was happening and you were enjoying it and demonstrating it, you weren't noticing it fully. Now, if you do, for the restless retreat, notice your moment-by-moment intention, then if you run the retreat and your intention changes because your relationships change and you see a different relationship and you don't feel so supported to practice, that relationship, which could be called not much enthusiasm for practice, That is your will at that time. And you can say, that's a Rika will. Call it that if you want to. That would be part of it too. That naming would be part of it. But if you watch your intention, your low-grade intention, that's the most important thing is that you're watching it.

[93:23]

Because in that intention is your actual relationship with the moment. And that's more important that you're watching that than that you're in this wonderful state that you were in the retreat. So of course it's important that you're enthusiastic, and it's wonderful. But if you're not aware of it, you aren't giving close attention to your action, and you're going to miss the practice. But if you're not enthusiastic, and you're depressed, and you're lost, and you don't feel like anybody's supporting you, and you pay attention to that, you are looking at exactly what the Buddha would be looking at at that moment. And there, in that watching this low-grade intention, this wimpy will, you can see that this wimpy will has no abiding self.

[94:26]

But if you look at your good will, your excellent will, your wonderful will, your buoyant will, your joyous will, if you don't look at that, you will not see that that doesn't have an abiding self either. So, excellent wills are excellent wills, low-grade wills are low-grade wills. But neither of them have self. If you look at both of them, you realize they both don't have self. And when you realize they don't have self, Because you're there, and you're watching. The practice occurs, and the fundamental point of this tradition is realized. So when you leave the retreat, I know it's hard, because you say, when you leave the retreat, it's even hard to watch your intention. But it's hard to watch your intention in the retreat, too. Start now, try to watch your intention now, and you have a chance, a better chance, that when you leave, And you don't even want to watch your intention, yet you will. Not wanting to watch your intention can be watched.

[95:29]

And if you watch not wanting to watch, you can realize the Dharma. Yes, go ahead, Liz. Pardon? That's the point. I suppose the only, the only thing would be that I'm not saying don't bring in the will. I'm saying the will will be brought in. Wills will be brought in, but not by you. To think that you bring the will in is delusion. But if you want to think you can bring the will in, fine. But notice that thinking that you bring in the will is the will. Thinking you bring anything in, that is the pattern of your mind at that time. And that's the pattern of delusion. In this retreat, you didn't bring in this intent, this will you have now. We all gave it to you. We and the whole tradition and the history of all beings has given you this wonderful state of mind that you have now.

[96:35]

You didn't bring it in. You received it. It's a gift to you which is now you, which is your mind and your activity right now. Now, you can go ahead and think, I brought this in. Fine. We also support you to do that. You can think whatever you want about your state of mind. But we gave it to you. You're the one person who didn't give you what you have. You gave us what we have. We all got something from you, but you didn't get anything from yourself. Nevertheless, you are completely responsible for what you've received. But we're responsible for what you received, too. We gave it to you. We gave you your wonderful practice mind. And if you think you've got it all by yourself, you're wrong, but we gave you that misconception. So we're responsible for your misconception of your state.

[97:38]

Namely, you're thinking that you cooked it up yourself. Yes, Liz? What are you going to say? I said, I care. I was going to tell you to say thank you, but I'm glad you did it on your own. It's basically thank you all day long. When you're enlightened, you're always saying thank you. You don't have time to say it often enough because moments are faster than a speeding bullet. But the feeling is thank you, thank you, thank you for life, and thank you for me being able to see thank you. That's the enlightened point of view. And that point of view, or that view, comes from studying the no thank you, no thank you, no thank you, I don't want this, you know. Studying all those states of delusion will give rise to the state of enlightenment.

[98:39]

Buddhas are those who study delusion and become enlightened about delusion. They study this pattern of, hey, I'm doing my life over and over. So again, once more, somebody comes to me who is like supposed to be a teacher of Buddhism. you know, and the person tells me that, you know, people really think that, you know, look to them for guidance and assume that they understand something. And the person says, you know, I don't understand much, and I think I'm kind of misleading them because I think they think I understand better than I do. And I don't want to go along with their misconception that I have a really good understanding. And I said, I think that's good that you don't want to, like, have them think you understand better than you do. That's good. And also, I can understand that it is a bit of a problem that you don't understand very well. I agree. I understand. But whatever level of your understanding, it's not unimportant.

[99:45]

It's not that it doesn't matter. If you understand Buddhism pretty well, very well, super well, that's not unimportant. It should be, you know, it's not unimportant. It's just not anywhere near as important as looking to see what you're up to now. If you have a low-grade understanding or a high-grade understanding, that's not unimportant. But if you have a high-grade understanding and you don't look at what you're up to, you're not practicing. You're out of the field. If you have a low-grade understanding but you're watching what you're doing, you're practicing. That's the practice. So I don't want to go so far to say it doesn't matter how you are, whether you're good or bad. It's just that the real life of the practice is in what's the pattern of your consciousness right now. That's where the life is.

[100:46]

Yes, Jill? This kind of delusion that we have is that we think we are doing our lives. Yes. And the question that we have is what are we up to now? Yes. Which seems to presuppose that actually there is enough to do our lives. Well, maybe I shouldn't say what are we up to now. Maybe I should just say what is the activity of your consciousness right now? Trying to do... That sounds like an outside... Ego attempting to take control. It sounds like that, but... Yeah, it sounds like that, but that... The reason why it sounds like that is because the pattern of consciousness with which you hear it has this ego outside. So then that's the way you see this instruction. But actually, another way to describe it, even if you can't see it that way, is to say, you are a person.

[101:49]

You are a person. You're not an independent person, but you are a person who the whole world makes. And we make you. We make you with a consciousness, an awareness. And your awareness has a pattern in it. But the thing that knows the pattern is your cognition, which we gave to you. Your cognition is not a self. Your consciousness is not a self. It is just a pattern. a clear state of knowing. And the universe gives you, every single moment, we all have given you wholeheartedly, lovingly given you a life of awareness. And that awareness can know a pattern of mental factors which arise with it. It can know it. And that pattern of relationship could be a pattern which then understands your life as you know things, rather than you're aware of a pattern of you knowing things.

[102:52]

And the pattern of I know things is my thinking or my intention. So consciousness arises with an activity called thinking, and you can think, I know. But actually that's not true. It's just a picture in your mind that you know things. There actually isn't somebody who knows, they're just knowing. But along with that knowing, which nobody does, it's just the knowing, and the knowing is something which is created by your body together with the world. Okay? That knowing knows, but there isn't somebody who knows. There isn't a knower in addition to the knowing. The knower is the knowing. The knowing is the knower. There's not a knower in addition to the knowing. And there's not an actor in addition to the acting. even though the acting could be a pattern where an actor is envisioned acting.

[103:56]

And that's the activity, that's the type of activity which we call delusion. But there can be another kind of activity where there isn't an actor who's acting, where actually there's all things coming forth and realizing a person. There is a person, it just is no independent person. But there is a person imagining an independent person. And the person has a consciousness which can look and see, hey, there's a picture in here of me being independent and me acting on the world. You can see delusion. It's possible to see it and confess it and see it again and again and again. And the more you see it, the more you will be relieved of it. The more you'll be ready for this pivot where you can see, oh, it's the other way around.

[104:58]

It's not that I'm confirming the world. It's the world, it's the world realizes me. Now, you do make the world, yes, but you're just one of the people that makes the world. Does that help at all? Yes, thank you. And your name again? Claire. Claire? I've got a question around intentionality, about what it is that we're looking at, and thinking that when you're looking at the pattern, the pattern is the relationship, is what's happening between people. Yes, you know? Yeah. And when you first look at intention, as we talked about yesterday, at first you don't see it as a relationship. You see it as, I want to move, or I want to talk, or I want to help. And so at first when you see, I want to help, you don't see that I want to help as a relationship, because it's something about me and you, I want to help you.

[106:03]

That's not exactly me over here separate, and me doing this thing called helping to you. But at first it looks like that, but after a while I see it, the kind of relationship we have is that I look at you and I just feel like, oh, help would be good in relationship to her because she's, you know, helping me and she's my friend. So because I see you as my friend or something dear and something I care about, suddenly I want to help or I want there to be help. And actually, after a while, if I care about you enough, I don't even care about that I do the help. I just want you helped. And if I can't help you and you get help, that's just as good as I helped you. Really, I just want you helped. And if I can't do it and you get it some other way, no problem. But if I feel separate from you, then I want to be the one who helps you. Or, if I feel separate from you and see my relationship as you're not worth anything, then I don't want to be the one who helps you. And also I don't want anybody else to either. So you see it's the relationship becomes illuminated, but at first you don't see it.

[107:10]

So the focus also then is what is being made. The focus is on what? What's being made. The focus, the exact, well the focus is not on what is being made, the real focus, at first the focus is on what's being made. But as you watch more carefully you see the focus is on how it's being made. How are we making this? That becomes the focus. As you look more carefully, you see how are we making this, rather than how am I doing that. Then the relationship, then you start to not be able to find a self in the field independent of anything. Plus all the things in the field. Nothing has any independence. You start to see that. The more you look, in other words, the field of delusion becomes the field of enlightenment. They're the same field. One's seen clearly, the other one's seen less clearly.

[108:11]

And the reason why we see less clearly is primarily due to these karmic accumulations. Karmic accumulations come from not studying karma. The thing that blurs this wonderful pattern of interdependence is the results of past moments where we didn't look at our intention. The more we look at intention, the more the field becomes, the jewels reflecting each other start to become available. Yes, Roz? Yes. Roz? I'm just wondering how, what do you come to think of feeling She says something about having a relationship with me and feeling sorry for me? Yeah? What's the question? Yes. I just wondered whether there was some sense of helplessness on your part.

[109:24]

You were talking about trying like this. I tried to describe something, but it didn't work. It's so fantastic. I just had a sense of, oh, God, for all that I needed, So Roz, I don't know, should I say it over so it's on the tape for future generations? So Roz, who's sitting way in the back of the room, was looking at me and thinking, this guy's exercising himself quite a bit. And I wonder if he's feeling hopeless or discouraged or something because he's talking to unenlightened people. And that they, you know, and he's worried that they'll never get what he's talking about. Something like that? Huh? Yeah, she said that'll do it. And my first response is, job security.

[110:26]

laughter [...] So it's not exactly that I'm happy that you're not understanding. Because if you understand, I'm very happy when people understand. When people hear instructions on tranquility and they practice it, and I see them practicing it, it is an inconceivable joy. When somebody comes to me and says, I'm so grateful that you and other people are providing a place for me to find where I am, I'm very happy to hear their gratitude. And then if they tell me, and I actually found my place, I'm even more happy. And then they say, and when I found my place, I realized the practice is occurring here. And now I'm like, but I'm not even doing, I'm doing with everyone. This makes me very happy to hear. But when someone doesn't understand, I think, oh good, I have a job. I'm very happy.

[111:29]

You know, I often use my grandson as an example. He's, you know, I just feel so lucky to be able to be with such a deluded person. But also I'm just so happy that I have no reservation about being his teacher for the rest of my life. I hope that I have many more years to teach him, to share with him. But basically what my teaching is, is to get him to look at his own intention. You know, that's basically what I'm not telling him about Buddhism exactly. I'm just showing him the path to freedom, which is to get him to look at what he's up to. So like when he's, like we're playing, whatever game we're playing, he always has to win totally. So sometimes he has to cheat to win because some games I know how to play. So he cheats and cheats and cheats. And then I ask him, why are you cheating? And he says, because I really want to win.

[112:31]

But when I ask him that, he gets to look at his intention. And when he looks at his intention, he's starting to wake up. So I have... If I have any agenda about how quickly you will understand this teaching and how happy you would be to receive it, that's my problem. And that would make my life difficult. But I really... I really... Along with this, I'm really... I really respect what you're going through to receive this teaching. And I know that people come here from difficult circumstances where they're exhausted from overwork and so on, and all their responsibilities, and they just have to rest for a long time before they're going to be able to open to this teaching. So I really do understand how it is, and I'm really not discouraged almost ever at how slowly people are to learn what I'm talking about.

[113:35]

And I'm somewhat more often discouraged when people hate me for what I'm saying, which they do sometimes. They hate me because I'm talking about something which frightens them. And I have a little more trouble with that, but I know that's normal, that if you tell somebody about something that's the opposite of the way they see the world, and you tell them that the way they see the world is delusion, and then you tell them to study their delusion over and over, that might be difficult for them to hear. But I'm also saying, if you do study your delusion, you will become Buddha. And if people don't believe that, it's a little hard on me, but not too hard, because I know that I myself have trouble believing it. That's why I say it with so much enthusiasm, so that I'll believe it, and I'll practice it. And look into my mind. Yes, Roz? Pardon? I couldn't hear that.

[114:40]

So I need to fail to study the delusion of being sorry for you. Yeah. You need to do that if you want to become enlightened. If you don't want to be enlightened, you don't have to study your delusion, which has feeling sorry for me. And so the delusory pattern is, I, Ra's, feel sorry for him, rather than feeling sorry for him, that he, and feeling sorry for him, comes forth, and then we have Ra's. which is actually the enlightened perspective. But if Ras is already here and she feels sorry for Reb, that's the pattern of delusion. But Reb says if Ras studies that pattern and similar patterns, she will become enlightened about those patterns of delusion. And that is what makes Buddhas. It doesn't say that Buddhas are enlightened about enlightenment. Although they are.

[115:42]

But they don't become Buddhas by studying enlightenment. Before Buddhas are Buddhas, they're like us. They study delusion. And then they become enlightened about delusion. And then we have a Buddha. And then they study the enlightenment. And then they find out the enlightenment doesn't have a self either. So you study delusion and you realize all these things which you thought had self don't. You have enlightenment. Then you study the enlightenment and you find the enlightenment doesn't have self. And then you have enlightenment. Then you study enlightenment. So Buddhas keep going beyond being Buddha. They get over it again and again. Just like they got over being not a Buddha. But if you think about getting over not being a Buddha, it could be scary. So that's understandable. Because Buddhists don't have any defenses. And we don't either, really. We just think we do. We really can't defend ourselves from each other. We're totally vulnerable to each other. Because everybody's making you.

[116:44]

Everybody's your supporter. And you can't stop their support. We're totally vulnerable to each other. And the more we study how we're not vulnerable, the more we study how we're protected from each other, the more we'll see that we're not And the more we see we're not, the more we realize how we're supported by people. Pascal? When I go to look for intentions, I have a hard time finding them. You have a hard time finding your intentions? Yeah. I feel that I'm seeking something. You have a feeling that what? I'm seeking. Sitting? Seeking. Oh, seeking, yeah. Yeah. So... Okay, so that's... Can I stop there? Yeah, sure. He says when he looks for the intention, he has a hard time finding it and he notices there's some seeking there. Maybe. He feels like he's seeking.

[117:45]

So again, that's why it's important to be calm and relaxed and clear and tranquil before you start looking... in your mind to see what your intention is. Because there shouldn't be seeking the intention because the seeking is in the intention. If you're calm you can see that you're just looking, you're not seeking anything. But in the pattern of intention there could be seeking. There probably is seeking often in the pattern of intention. So the seeking is part of the pattern of intention. You don't seek the pattern of intention. You just observe clearly without any agenda. You've heard the instruction to observe your intention, but there's no seeking in it. That's the best way to observe. But if you notice seeking, you've actually just started to notice your intention. Because seeking is a pattern of relationship between you and something.

[118:49]

So now you actually have spotted the pattern of relationship, but you thought it was outside the relationship. It's not. There's nothing outside the pattern of relationship which you're observing, including consciousness of it. It's not outside of it. The pattern of relationship is an attribute of consciousness. Does that take care of your question somewhat? Okay. Yeah? I don't quite get the difference between looking at personal consciousness and whatever experience is arising. She said she doesn't quite understand the difference between looking at intention slash what? Oh, she doesn't understand the difference between looking at pattern of consciousness and the experience that's happening? The experience that's happening and the pattern of consciousness are not different. It's just that the experience has a pattern.

[119:53]

And the pattern of the experience is the intention. So you're looking at the intention, but you're seeing the pattern in it. You can also look at an experience and see the parts of it. Like you can see the feelings, you can see the concepts, you can see emotions, you can see more or less concentration. So all the mental factors which arise with the state of cognition make up consciousness. the sort of the color of the cognition. The cognition is just the basic knowing of the presence of something. Like, for example, the basic knowing of the presence of Juliet Grace, or the presence, the awareness of the presence of sunlight, or the awareness of the presence of pressure on the seat. These kinds of just basic awareness of the presence of something. Moment by moment you're aware of a color, a sound, a smell, a taste, and so on. That's the basic knowing.

[120:55]

But this cognition arises with a multiplicity of mental factors and different ways of knowing. So, for example, you know the presence of blue, but then you have a feeling about the blue, which is a certain way of knowing the blue, through an evaluation of it as pleasant or unpleasant. You also have emotional responses to the blue. like fear or greed or ease. So all these different things are arising with your basic knowing. The overall pattern of all this is the intention, including that there's a sense of self in the field and that the self is seen in a kind of controlling mode vis-à-vis the rest of the field. That's also going to be part of the pattern. So it's the overall pattern. And some Buddhist psychologists say that actually you shouldn't call intention something in addition to the pattern, since it's just a pattern of consciousness.

[121:59]

You shouldn't make an additional thing out of it. Because it's nothing other than all the elements. But most people say, to get a feeling for the pattern, use the word pattern or intention to find the pattern. Does that make sense? So it's nothing different from the... However, it is a little different from the basic knowing, because basic knowing is not the activity. It's just the bare awareness of the presence of the thing. And that can know the pattern of the consciousness. The intention is revealed. Pardon? The intention is revealed to us by seeing the person. The intention is what? The intention is revealed to us by seeing the pattern. Did you say the intention is revealed by knowing the pattern? Well, it's the same thing. It's the same thing. Your activity, your moment-by-moment activity is the basic definition from the Buddha.

[123:08]

The type of activity which the Buddha wants you to notice is intentional activity. But intentional activity is redundant. The type of activity that Buddha wants you to know is intention. And intention can be mental, that's primarily mental, but when your body takes a posture or your voice is expressed, when it has intention in it, then Buddha wants you to study those types of actions, body, speech and thought. Body, speech and mind, the intention. This is essential. Unobserved intention causes obstruction to seeing reality. Observed intention causes the intentions to evolve positively and also causes the cognition of them, the observation of them to get clearer and clearer and sharper and clearer until you can see more and more clearly this intention and see how the whole world is involved there, and how all beings are coming to create your intention, and how your intention creates all beings.

[124:20]

In other words, you come to see Genjo Koan. You come to see that the universe is realized in your consciousness, and that your consciousness realizes the universe. This is what can be... you can actually wake up to this. It's already there, But because of not paying attention to this feel for a long time, our vision is not very clear. So we see it in terms of like self separate from other, which is very coarse, dark way of seeing this brilliant concert that's going on between our body and all bodies, our mind and all minds. I'm always surprised how we managed to sit here for almost two and a half hours. It's amazing. But it seems like it's sinking in a little bit.

[125:28]

I'm grateful that you are tolerating this event. And I really want you to take care of yourselves. And I really appreciate that some of you who have felt that you should rest have not only rested, but have informed me and kept in touch with me when you're not in the meditation hall. I really appreciate that, that we're doing this thing together. I appreciate it, and I hope you're appreciating it. And if you're not, I accept that you're not. Or at least that's my intention, which you're forcing me into. My grandson doesn't do this so much anymore, but he used to sometimes want to do something with me. You know, he wants to do whatever, you know, fill in the blank. Granddaddy, let's do blank.

[126:32]

And then his hand would reach up. And then he would say, together. Granddaddy, let's go to hell. Together. It's so irresistible. So let's practice the Buddha way. Together. And now it's lunchtime.

[127:11]

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