I have a memory that towards the end of our last meeting and people from Sacramento were not here, right? So you didn't hear about this. We had kind of a little bit of a homework assignment to work with some form or forms Is that familiar to some of the people? No? Anybody? Do you remember anything about that, John, since you brought it up? You brought up form towards the end, remember? Do you remember me suggesting that Would that be kind of our work during the week?

[01:03]

What do you recall about that? He reminded me to say something about working with forms like Mary or other commitments, he said. So that brings up the aspect of working with forms that we've committed to. Yeah. So John kind of brought up form in relationship to discipline. And so then there's the issue of forms in our world of appearance forms that we commit to as a way to practice discipline with a form.

[02:10]

So one story is that everything we know is appearances. Is that English? Are appearances? Everything we know, all we know is appearances. That's a story, which is in another appearance or form. And so the issue is working with some forms that we commit to work with. And we could commit to work with every single form, or we could start with some. and commit to those, like our marriage or other kinds of work. But that we commit to the work as an opportunity.

[03:19]

Again, the word discipline has a root, dociere, Latin, which means having to do with learning. So disciplines are things which help us learn. In this case, it would be to learn the Buddha way. To learn the way of peace and freedom. To use forms to learn the path of peace and freedom. So one form, the form that's often suggested, is the form of the appearance of a self. to commit to work with the form of a self. Another form would be, again, as I just mentioned, a relationship that we're committed to. And, of course, in a relationship that we're committed to the selfs right there, in a commitment to the other,

[04:31]

And the other could be the other person or persons, or it could be to the relationship. Again, there's a story that says not only are all we know appearances, but appearances, they are other, they are external. Everything appears to be external. The self is in the context of other. Now, can we use these appearances and commit to practice with them? Again, using the image of the road and the river, all these, all the forms appear on the road or in the world of the road.

[05:34]

The road is a summary of all appearances and the river supports and by disciplining ourselves in relationship to the appearances, the road, by approaching the road, by approaching the appearances way we can realize the river. And that would be the path to realize freedom from the road, or freedom with the road. Because the road is where the changes that occur. On the road, things look solid, and when solid things change, it's kind of a problem, because solid things shouldn't be changing. The road is the realm of substantial things, substantial forms like this person that I'm committed to, or this person I'm not committed to.

[06:43]

But anyway, both of them are substantial, and if I commit to them, then the changes are much more consequential. or much have a bigger impact. One time I went for a ride with someone, a woman who I knew quite well but who was not my wife. I did not have a really close relationship with her. It was the first time I ever rode in a car with her and she picked me up, I think, Maybe we went from the San Francisco Zen Center into the Golden Gate Park in San Francisco and we went to a place called the Arboretum and we walked around in the Arboretum. And when we were done, she asked, she was going to take me over to her house and her house was west of the Arboretum.

[07:48]

So we got in the car and she drove east a long ways. And then she turned around and started going west. And then she turned again and went east. And then she went around and went west again and finally got to her house and I was in the car and I was thinking, this is really an unusual way but I was not upset with her because I did not have a committed relationship to her. I don't know if that's the reason, but it's kind of the reason. With my wife, you know, and she doesn't drive in the way that I think is most appropriate. Right? it has a big impact.

[08:54]

I mean, just a slight, you know, variation in the... Yeah, what I think is a true path. A slight variation in that. But, with somebody that I... They can drive all over the place and it may not bother me. I think that that person is substantial too but the commitment brings out the substantiality of the driving. The substantiality of the correct path. On the way over here I drove on a road And I committed to practice.

[09:59]

I committed to the road and I committed to practice with the road. I committed to practice the way I've been recommending to practice with forms in such a way as to realize peace, understanding freedom and peace. which is, well, first of all, to commit to what you're working with. And then, you know, be generous and ethical and patient. And then, be diligent about those practices and be diligent about relaxing and being open to the form and being playful with it. in order to understand.

[11:05]

So I could have just said, well, I commit to drive the car from here to Berkeley, and I commit to drive the car in a gentle and patient way. That would have been enough. I'm licking a wound. That would have been enough, but that would have been enough. And fortunately for you and me, I came during the traffic jam. So, when I was first driving I was thinking, I'm driving, you know, and I looked at the guardrail, and I thought, I'm driving, it looks like I'm driving a little bit faster than walking. And then I thought, and then I discovered that actually I didn't have to sort of guess, I could, just so I could look at the speedometer.

[12:07]

That I could, the speedometer would tell me whether I was, and it was six miles an hour. And then sometimes it was four, and occasionally it went up to nine, and not too many times. But I was doing my homework. I'm not criticizing you if you didn't understand that assignment, but I thought we're supposed to be working with some form, so I was doing my homework on the way over here. Since I was driving, I thought, well, I'll work with the form of driving and I'll practice with the road and the driving and, of course, the other cars. And I thought, well, if I practice generosity, that might be that I would let people in if they wanted to get in. I didn't try to necessarily get myself to Berkeley before anybody else, particularly the people around me.

[13:10]

And for a while, and I also decided sort of not to change lanes to facilitate my, you know, my getting to Berkeley faster than somebody else. Like move to this lane and this person's in front of me. And then if I change lanes, I move ahead faster than the person in front of me. I was helped at the beginning by a person in a Cadillac DeVille. whose license plate was Rita number 7. Actually, Rita star 7. And I was kind of happy just riding behind Rita star 7. And then somebody wanted to get between Rita and me. They didn't exactly ask and then give me a chance to say, go ahead. They just sort of zipped in there. And then I remembered that I was practicing generosity with the form of driving in this lane.

[14:16]

And I let the person go. However, I did feel touched with Rita. I could still see Rita, but it was a big black truck and I could hardly... I could just see a little bit of the white Cadillac up ahead. And then, you know, things moved along and sometimes the person moved away and then I was close to Rita again. And then as we approached the last exit, the last San Francisco exit, which is 4th Street, what people do at that point is they get in the lane to exit the 4th Street, but they don't exit. They just zip along that exit lane and get ahead of everybody else. Some of the people actually do exit. I don't know how many I couldn't, I wasn't like counting.

[15:21]

5% actually like go in the exit lane and then go off to 4th Street. But the other ones just move into the side lane at the last exit and then they zip ahead of everybody. And then they wait and ask people to let them in ahead of them. That's why it was difficult for me to watch these people pull up from behind me and zip ahead of me and then try to get in front of me. And in front of everybody that they got ahead of. It was sort of difficult to stay in the lane and be generous and say, yeah, go ahead. Get ahead of all of these people. It was difficult. I was having trouble because I committed to stay in the lane. And then Rita decided to change lanes, not to go to the exit lane, but go sort of to the left. And then I felt Rita. And I didn't have to see these people zipping by me anymore.

[16:24]

It was more comfortable. But I felt like I kind of violated my commitment. I didn't just stay in the lane. And I realized also that I had to actually probably eventually move over to the left in order to go onto highway east. I'd eventually have to change lanes anyway, so I used that excuse also to change lanes again. But I've actually had quite a hard time working with that form. there was an opportunity for generosity, and it was difficult to actually talk to these people who were butting in line ahead of everybody. And to be ethical towards them and not look down on them as robbers.

[17:32]

Of course, not hate them, not slander them. Some people are tempted to kill people in situations like that. I was not tempted by that one. But anyway, that's another precept. And not to sort of like beat them out and, you know, get ahead of them. And all these practices, there was no opportunity that I could see to get in. Not in my situation anyway. And there was no opportunity to misuse sexuality that I noticed. But anyway... I was struggling with being ethical in the situation. It was actually a strenuous practice because I wanted to work with the form of my life at the moment and I committed to that. And committing to it made everything more consequential.

[18:35]

It made me more aware of the consequentialness. But you know what it really made me was myself. I was really aware of myself. I could feel the impulses very strongly because of this commitment. I was no longer primarily interested... I was no longer primarily interested in getting the car to Berkeley. I was more focused on the practice of driving. And it made me so aware of myself and aware of my shortcomings, aware of how difficult it is to do these practices with the commit the form and then we haven't even got to and of course patience part of it too there was discomfort in the situation my back was hurting a little bit too fortunately i i left early so i wasn't like worried that i was going to be late for class didn't have that stress

[19:37]

Berkeley was kind of okay with taking a really long time to get here. I knew that this might happen. I accepted that before I actually went to San Francisco. I went to San Francisco to do another commitment, which was to help my daughter unpack boxes because she just moved to San Francisco. I knew that if I went there, I'd have to go to Berkeley through the traffic jam, and I accepted that. And then when I got there, I said, oh, here's a good opportunity, and it was. But in this story, I hardly even got to the part where I'm saying to relax. To relax and be playful with the situation of being in a traffic jam. It's hard to get to being playful when you're in a traffic jam. Especially because the playfulness really goes, I mean, the kind of playfulness that I'm talking about is a playfulness that's based on being ethical, not playful, you know, in a state of intoxication.

[20:53]

Not that kind of playful. Playful where you're sober and playful. Careful and conscientious. and patient with the traffic. Again, I thought, if the traffic just flows, I'm less aware of myself. And the traffic jam made me very aware of myself and all of my impulses. And it was actually pretty hard work. And I'm telling you, I was kind of humbled by, in a sense, the level of my mastery of the discipline of driving a car. Thanks for coming. Of driving a car in a traffic jam. But the fact that I actually...

[22:02]

I actually hardly... I can't really say I got to the playfulness. I confess. I don't feel like I really got to the playfulness. But I was very aware of the player. And the player was not... You can be a player, but not be playful, right? Huh? What? Say again? With reading it was kind of playful, yeah. Yeah. Rita helped me out. Especially the... was helpful. And actually, Rita was the license plate, right? But the person driving, I think, was a man. I don't really know. But whoever was driving Rita Star 7 was... all the time and not trying to get ahead of everybody is a pretty considerate driver.

[23:10]

Once again, when the traffic's flowing, I think flow is, you know, there's a tendency for the mind to move towards the driving because you are actually going someplace now. and you lose track of the self that's in the driving. You lose yourself in the progress. In the progress, in the activity, I'm more aware of myself. When I'm not getting anywhere, when I'm not going anywhere, oh, there's this boring thing going on here, me. Here's another example. I'll try to restrain myself in this example.

[24:18]

This example isn't going to restrain me. I'll try to restrain myself in telling you this example. It's about a movie called Jiro Dreams of Sushi. It's about an 85-year-old sushi master who has a 10-stall sushi restaurant in one of the subways in Tokyo. And one could say it's a good sushi restaurant, but I won't say that. That this man has been making, he says, he's been making sushi for 75 years. I guess he started when he was 10 years old. He got into a sushi restaurant somehow as an apprentice. He says, I've been making sushi for 75 years.

[25:22]

When he was 70 he had a heart attack so he stopped riding the bicycle to the fish market. So he's making this sushi. And at one point, maybe more than once, he said, I love, love making sushi. I'm so happy when I'm making sushi. Here is a form, sushi making, which he practices, which he's committed to. And he works generally from five in the morning till ten at night. And he likes to work seven days a week. He doesn't like vacations. He doesn't know what to do with himself. He's happy when he's making sushi. The only time he misses or some other big event, he'll go to.

[26:25]

Otherwise, that's what he likes to do, is go and work with that form. When people first start making sushi as an apprentice, they don't let you touch the fish. You can't do anything with a knife. You can't make sushi. What you do is you do stuff like you massage, in his situation, you massage the octopus. You massage the octopi with your hands. You do stuff like that for years. before you can actually start learning to cut. A friend of mine is a carpenter, and when he went to study carpentry in Japan, for the first six months or so, all he did was just rubbing blades over whetstones for six months. And after that, he just planed for months.

[27:31]

part of this initiation into studying a form is to encounter the part where you're not making any progress, where you're not getting anything done. You're just with yourself. It's just you and yourself. And you're doing something, but what you're doing is not to do the thing, but to do something where you don't do anything, where you don't accomplish anything, so you're thrown back on yourself. But without something like that, we are not thrown back on ourself and ourself goes outward, which is entertaining. So anyway, here's this great master. The only problem with the whole thing is the fish.

[28:36]

These beautiful fish. No problem with that. And maybe he does too. I didn't hear him say anything about this, but his son, his two sons, he has an older son and a younger son, they're both his disciples. The older son will take over his restaurant, his younger son will take over his restaurant. His older son is now aware that there should be ethics about fishing, that you shouldn't catch the little fish. You should only catch the big tuna. If you catch the little tuna, the little tuna don't you have to somehow just catch the big tuna so his son has said some things about his awareness of the ethics of the fishing business even though they're not in the fishing business they do buy the fish so the one problem in this matter this person who I really feel that Jiro practiced generosity

[29:47]

That to get to be a sushi chef, which is called a, what is it called? Shokunin? Do you know Eiko? Anyway, to get to be a sushi chef, you have to spend a lot of time. It's been many years training. I think it takes longer to be a sushi chef than to be in Japan, than to be, you know, to get a PhD in medicine. You know, minimum. And you have to be generous and patient and ethical. If you're not ethical, the teacher will you know, terminate your apprenticeship.

[30:51]

So he went through this long apprenticeship and the man is very relaxed and playful. If you look at the way they work, their hands are very relaxed, very relaxed hands, and they work, and they stand all day long. The people who are doing this, they've gone, for years they've been standing with relaxed hands. And they're playful. And they're creative. He's... When you see, just looking at these pieces of sushi, they are so beautiful. They really are works of art. Which even an untrained eye like mine is just, it's amazing. A form. which he is a master at and which he loved to practice. He's happy. He's at peace when he's doing this. But then there's this problem of the fish, which I have.

[31:56]

So, some of you have actually talked to me outside of class about a form that you could work on and that you are working on. And so now with these two stories of my exercise today with just the driving, and I could tell you about other forms I have, but some other time. I work with a number of forms, but I'm telling you today I confess I'm not a master driver. Today was like my, it's kind of an apprenticed driving mastery and the apprenticeship, what they do in the apprenticeship is they put you in a traffic jam to see how you're doing it when you're not getting anywhere. I was really challenged.

[33:05]

I confess that to you. But I also felt good because I felt like I was doing my job. I wasn't just driving the car. I was practicing. I was disciplining this person, this self. And I was very aware of him. And I was generous with him. So I'm not saying he didn't do well. I'm just saying he was humbled to see how he did. He was humbled by seeing that he was a little bit bored being so much aware of himself. I did not turn the radio on. I did not put a CD on to distract myself from being with myself. I don't know when I can listen to music again in the car. In this traffic jam, people did not think I was driving too slowly. But today, for the sake of our class, I felt like I shouldn't be entertaining myself, distracting myself from being with me in this car and having the only entertainment be me.

[34:27]

The entertainment was me driving the car. That was the show. And it was not very fun. There was these signs, you know, one of the signs, I forgot what it was, but it says, go with the flow. Something was in brackets that said go with the flow. There was another sign which said, it was for some casino or something, have fun. Those of you who drive from San Francisco to the East Bay will be able to see those two signs next time. Maybe at a high speed. Okay, now I don't know if the word assignment's right, but anyway, I offer you the homework of finding a form to work on between now and next week.

[35:33]

And try to practice with it, try to be generous with it, really careful and ethical with it, patient with it, diligent with it, and relaxed and concentrated. Jiro was very concentrated. You know how they use those knives, right? How they scrape the scales off You know, it's just amazing how concentrated they are, how careful. And again, you watch their concentration, their hands, their bodies very relaxed and flowing. They're not pushing hard through this material. They're not rough. They're strong and gentle appropriately. Please choose something to work on.

[36:38]

Do these practices. It could be something more traditional Zen. It could be like sitting. I've also been doing that this week. But that is something I'm more used to. However, I have been working with that form in a different way this week than usually. And if you remind me, I'll tell you next week because I want to stop now and ask you to tell you about the difference in the way I practiced the sitting this week than the way I did usually. But today I now want to stop and invite your response. to what I've said or to your life. I'd like to invite you to your life. Marianne and Carmen.

[37:42]

Say again. When you think about applying these principles to your relationship with your partner... Yes? so you're having a hard time applying what I'm talking about to a relationship situation so we could be back in the car I used the car example of where you have a committed relationship it's quite different to drive in a car with somebody you have a committed relationship with than somebody you don't can you see that So, or if you're taking a walk with somebody who you have a committed relationship with, it's different because in the committed relationship you are committed to work on this relationship, right?

[39:13]

The other person, if you're not comfortable with them, you know, they're going to be gone in ten minutes or half an hour to deal with them. Plus, maybe they don't have any commitment to you either, For example, they're not committed to read your mind. Whereas if you commit to somebody, after a while you think they can read your mind. How could they do that? But you don't expect strangers to read your mind. Do you? No. And what I just said, you might say, I don't know what he's talking about. But still... I'll say it again. If you're really committed to somebody and you practice that commitment for a while, if they do certain things, you might think, how could they do that? Don't they know that that would bother me? Does that make sense to you?

[40:14]

You don't expect people you don't know to know that doing certain things... But if you've told someone a hundred times that something bothers you, and then they do it, you have trouble understanding how they could do it. But you've told them a hundred times because you have a committed relationship. Some people you tell three times and you say, I'm going to say goodbye. Some people you tell a hundred times and you stay there because you're committed. But then when you tell them a hundred times and they still don't... it seems like you never said it to them, you... it has a big impact, right? So, do you have a committed relationship? Okay, so, number one, do you wish to continue to have a committed relationship? Number two, do you wish to practice generosity? What'd you say?

[41:16]

Did you say it's tough to be generous towards a person you're... Yeah, sometimes. or maybe even like often. Sometimes or maybe more than sometimes. Maybe not always, but sometimes. So the first step in practicing relationship after commitment, basically the first step is to be generous. Again, if you're a sushi apprentice, I wish to be an apprentice. The teacher says, well, would you commit to practice for six months? Yes. Okay. For six months. And then how do you, how would you practice generosity with that assignment? You would say, thank you very much. I have no complaints. And you would actually welcome that boring assignment for six months. Day after day, you would do that. But actually, wouldn't that be difficult?

[42:16]

Wouldn't most people have trouble doing it over and over? wouldn't most children children can do things over and over over and over and over and then they want to do something different and they can't at a certain point they're done with that but to actually do something over and over for six months is not that easy and people are frowning do you not understand what I'm saying? okay You want to be a sushi master, maybe, and you get assigned to do something which you can do anything to do with making sushi for six months. Would it be difficult to be generous towards that and say thank you very much to that and welcome that? It would be. In a relationship, if you're not committed to it, it's not so difficult to say thank you very much.

[43:18]

But once you're committed, then as the days go on, being generous is difficult. If someone who you're committed to does something which you find very uncomfortable, like I don't know what, something you find uncomfortable. They don't put away their clothes, or they don't close the door, or they make too much noise when you're trying to sleep, etc., etc. Okay? Okay? Again, if you don't live with the person, they're not in your house making noise. If your neighbor's making noise, it affects you differently than the person who you are living with, who you're committed to making noise. It's harder maybe even to be generous. But anyway, with both of them I might be generous. So the first practice I'm talking about to apply to your relationship that you're committed to is to be generous with what they are.

[44:22]

And what they are is sometimes painful and shocking. I should say, what we imagine them to be is painful and shocking. The conscious construction of them, the image of them, is difficult to thank you to. That's the first practice. Is that hard? Sometimes. So you have trouble applying this to that relationship? That's normal that it's hard. These practices are simple. It's simple for me to practice generosity driving over here. It is simple. It will be simple on the way home, too. It is simple. But it's hard. It's hard when these people are zipping ahead, actually breaking the law to be in this exit lane and then pulling in. And they also cross the white line to do it. They go so far. When people are breaking the law, trying to get ahead of me and the other people, it's hard to say, thank you very much, please go ahead.

[45:30]

It's hard. When people are butting in front of you, especially when they do it before they even give a chance, if they come up and say, would you please give me that? You're ahead of me. But when they don't even ask, then you miss the chance of giving it to them, except retroactively. Giving is not always easy. But it's almost, it's usually fairly simple. A lot of the times it's really simple. Like letting people go. In all kinds of situations. Waiting in line. Letting people go. It's simple but hard. It's difficult. Then there comes being careful. Be careful. And again, with somebody you're committed to and close to, you kind of think you don't have to be careful. You might think you have to be careful, but with somebody who you live with and you're committed to, be careful. Like when they say something that you find insulting, be careful to not believe that what they said was insulting.

[46:38]

to be more careful, wouldn't it? Rather than, I feel insulted, you insulted me. That's not so careful as, I have this image of me being insulted, but that's just what I think. They might not have meant it to be insulting. That would be more careful, wouldn't it? But with somebody that you don't know, you might reconsider it a minute. But with somebody you're committed to, It's even harder to do what you really want to do, which is to be really, really, really respectful, which means look again. If possible, always be respectful. In other words, always look again. You see the person, and then, okay, I see that now, look again. It looks like John, who I wonder who it is. Now let's take a second look here.

[47:41]

Let's have a second opinion. That's respect. That's one aspect of being careful. And be gentle. And be gentle when other people are not gentle to me. Is that difficult? Yes. And then be patient. Be patient with the hardship. Just the hardship, you know. Like today, I went to see my daughter unpack. It was kind of hard. Part of the reason I went there is because she's got this little baby, so it's hard for her to do anything because you have to take care of the baby at the same time you're unpacking, so... And the baby's, you know, having a little hard time. This is not very entertaining for her either. It was hard. But that particular, it was hard.

[48:42]

And I did that hard thing for about four hours and I really felt good that I did that hard thing and I was patient with the difficulty and she was patient and she was having a hard time too and she was patient with the difficulty. Yeah. Yeah. pretty generous and we were both pretty careful so that was good but was I relaxed I was having trouble being relaxed was I playful I was having trouble a little bit when I was playing with the little girl sometimes when I could stop the unpacking and go take care of the little girl then I could be more playful but then the little girl starts getting uncomfortable starts crying hard to relax with that Carmen? Right.

[49:59]

Well, that's exactly what I'm talking about. You're in a traffic jam with your son, and you don't know if there's ever going to be any movement. There's change, huh? The consequences seem great. If you had to stay in a traffic jam, once in LA, she said, I just wanted to talk to somebody because I'm in a traffic jam. Nobody's moving. And in the other side of the freeway, nobody's moving either. She says, I feel like I'm in the end of the world. That would be, you know, if we actually had to never get out, that would be a big deal. But that is our life situation actually. We're not going to get out. That's not going to happen. We are stuck and we're consequentially stuck.

[51:20]

We are. And it's kind of an illusion that we can actually get out of here. And that they're going to go someplace where there's not major consequences. Where we live is a place that we can't get out of and And that is a consequence. We're in a consequence that there's going to be more consequences and we can't get out of consequence land. That's the road. Consequence, consequence, consequence. And now the proposal is we can be free with no progress. And this, by the way, another thing he said, which I really had problems with, was he's always thinking of how to improve his art. He says, I'm always thinking of how to improve it to make it better. Maybe he is always thinking about making it better and maybe he realizes that it doesn't get better.

[52:25]

I don't know. I couldn't talk to him. So this thing about improvement is tricky because to not being generous. Right now, it's difficult to be generous, to be stuck in a traffic jam, to be stuck in a relationship where there's no progress. It's difficult to be generous. But if we can't be generous when there's no progress, we can't be free. If we can't be generous in relationships where there's no progress, we will not be able to be free. Now, if progress happens, we say, oh great, some progress has happened. The person made some progress. The relationship made some progress. How nice. I agree. Progress is great.

[53:27]

It's nice that I got here. It's good. If I hadn't, you know, there would have been consequences. I don't know who I could have called to tell I was... Let's see, is it 798-5115? 510? 798-5115. I could have called... Charlie and told Charlie would you please go to the yoga room and tell them that I'm stuck I'm stuck in a consequence the consequence is I got in a car and went on the freeway and now I'm stuck here but I still love you guys you tonight and here I am in this relationship with somebody and there's no progress

[54:29]

This wonderful boy is not moving forward in his life. And I'm here with him, not moving forward with him. And I'm really trying to say thank you very much to have a life like with him. And that, I say, to me, that is the way to freedom. If I can't do that, and get freedom. And isn't that difficult to do on the freeway with a child if we want them to become, you know, more skillful and happy? Isn't that difficult? Yes. Freedom is not easy to realize. It takes a lot of work. And the first step, well, first step is you want to. Second step is be generous to this current situation. If people are going forward and making progress, fine, I'm not against that.

[55:34]

And if you can be generous towards it, I would say, you're generous towards progress, that's the path to freedom. But when the progress stops, if the gratitude, if the generosity stops, then the freedom is stopping. It wasn't that difficult My situation today wasn't as difficult as to have a child that you want, you know, to be happy. Do you want your child to be happy? Do you want your child to be free? Do you want your child to be at peace? Yes, of course. Do you want your child to make progress? We all may be able to be free without making any progress. It's possible. If we can be ourselves completely, we will be free.

[56:39]

But it's kind of boring to be yourself moment by moment with no entertainment. With no entertainment like progress. Progress. Oh, how entertaining. I became a better sushi master today. I became a better... I became a better father. I became a better Zen teacher. I became a better Zen student. That's pretty entertaining and not that difficult to welcome. But how about no progress? Even going back and getting to be a worse student is slightly more interesting than, you know, just by being yourself. I didn't really become a worse driver today, actually. And I didn't become a better driver today. I had trouble being the driver I was. All the way over here, I was the driver I was.

[57:43]

And I was making no progress, really, that I could see. Yeah. Like golf. And I'm not saying you can't make progress if you're not. And if those you love are not, you can be with them in a way which will promote peace and happiness. Even if there's no progress. And even if there is progress. Okay? If you and your son should live one more day and he knows that day with you that you were so happy and so at peace with the wonderful thing of him being your son then his life if he understands that that's the greatest gift you can give him.

[58:57]

And he wants to know, will she love me and appreciate me no matter what I am, even if I do things she doesn't like? It's not the same as liking, it's that you totally welcome it. Then there can be freedom. And it's hard. And you could say, well, it's an improvement to go from being an apprentice, where you're having trouble, you know, being grateful, where you're doing all this artwork all day long.

[60:04]

But I think the Master, I think another way to interpret, to give him the benefit of the doubt, is to be better and better at his art, I think means that he keeps being challenged to do his art. That it keeps being hard. Not that it gets easier and easier. And not that it gets harder and harder. But that he keeps getting challenged to make sure he's really still doing it. Yeah. Deciding to make change. Deciding to make change. Well, that's what I did today. I made a change. I got in the car and drove to Berkeley during a traffic jam. Usually I'd come not during a traffic jam because I'd rather not spend a long time sitting on the freeway with a car giving off hydrocarbons.

[61:17]

So I usually come don't have any traffic. But today I decided to do it differently. And what did I find out when I did it differently, Nina? What did I find out about myself? Yeah, I had to deal with myself in a different situation and I got a whole new take on myself. So doing things, making changes in the way you do things is really good. Like when you drive from one place to another, like from San Francisco to Berkeley, there's not much choices of which bridge you go over, but... You know, you could. You could say, well, I'm going to go over the San Mateo Bridge this time. So I think making changes is, the question is, what are you making the change for? Are you making the change to, as it were, are you making a change to avoid difficulty?

[62:23]

The change I made today was not to avoid difficulty. I knew I would have more trouble. I knew I might have more trouble. You know, I actually thought, the thought crossed my mind. I thought, maybe sometimes at 4.15 in the afternoon, clear, and I'll just like zip over. I was kind of up for that. I thought that would be okay. We just say that again. Sometimes... sometimes there's a highway of trauma that forces people off oh right yeah so that and then that would be his job yeah and then and then we'd see can he can he do that all day long for months after month could he do that you know And maybe he could. And that could be his art.

[63:28]

You know, if he had done that, I would not have, I would have welcomed him. I would have said, okay, I accept that you're not letting these people do that. It's the motivation for the change that I'm talking about. You can make changes left and right, but what's the reason? Is it for your art? Is it for your creativity and freedom? Or is it to avoid challenges? It's... It decides. Once again? That's why you're indecisive? Because... There's a lot of what? Thought. Yeah. We are... And I'm talking about a way to tap into that. to ask myself, you know, what am I coming to Berkeley for?

[64:32]

Am I coming here to practice for the art of life? For the art of life? Is that why I'm coming here? Well, yes, that's why I come here. Now, after the class is over, is my practice over? Or am I going to practice on the way back, too? On the way over I practiced, on the way back, am I going to do it, too? How is it going to be on the way back when Well, actually, there might be a traffic jam on the Richmond Bridge. We'll see. But I'm not going to make a change. I'm not planning to make a change on the way home. I'm just going to go the usual way. And I intend to practice the things I'm talking about on the way back. But sometimes, like today, I made a change. I went to San Francisco... daughter and I knew that that wouldn't change my way to Berkeley and I was up for it and yeah yes Kim

[65:34]

Good night, Daniel. Tips when things aren't so hard? Well, be generous with... Be generous with not being challenged. Practice with that. On the way home, if you don't have difficult traffic, practice generosity. Again, when I first started driving, before I got to the freeway, when I was out, you know, in the sunset, I keep getting confused. Is the Golden Gate Park the sunset? So coming from the sunset, at the beginning, I was actually going down Lincoln.

[66:49]

And I was practicing generosity, and there's cabs in front of me. And I was practicing generosity, and it was not difficult to welcome the situation. Things were flowing. It just wasn't difficult. It isn't always difficult to practice generosity. So sometimes it's not hard. So then you focus on practicing generosity and sometimes when it's not hard, it's not so, you know, so working with myself and being bored are very similar. So again, you're driving along and you're practicing generosity. After a while, generosity gets boring. So how can I make generosity more entertaining? After a while, even moving along at a high speed or like 35 miles an hour in the city or 65 in the highway, at a certain point that can get boring too. Just you at the speed limit.

[67:52]

And eventually, eventually, it'll get hard. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's not hard. Yes, Emily. Be patient with not making progress? Well, the way you practice patience... You usually have to practice patience with some kind of discomfort, like hardship. And the other thing is just hot, like Sacramento weather. You guys can practice patience with the heat, right? Or with coal.

[68:54]

That's one kind of patience. And then what you do is you try to be in the present with it. Try to be in the present. Try not to think about how long the heat's been going on or how long it will go on. Give that up and be in the present heat. If someone insults you or is rude to you, that is, that's a different type of pain. It's not a hardship, it's . Heat isn't exactly hurtful, it's just hard or working hard. If somebody insults you or is cruel to you, try to be in the present with the pain. The present with the pain. Don't think about that they've done it before or they'll do it in the future. Try to be in the present. The main way to practice patience is to focus on being in the present. It doesn't take the pain away. It makes the pain bearable. If you practice this way, the proposal is if you practice this patience you'll be able to bear any pain without like violently reacting it isn't that you like it it's that you can actually that no pain can make you be cruel you can get that this tradition says you can get that good at it

[70:23]

Would you say if you practice that way, it helps you prevent the pain from turning into suffering? He says, if you practice that way, would it help the pain to turn into suffering? Prevent the pain from turning into suffering? I-E-S. When you're enlightened, pain is not suffering. Pain is not pleasure when you're enlightened. Pain is not pleasure. Pain is pain. But there's no suffering. There's no wiggling. There's freedom and joy with the pain. And in order to be enlightened, in order to be free, we must practice patience. You cannot make a Buddha without patience.

[71:27]

You cannot make a Buddha without pain. Well, we've got pain, don't we? What we need is more patience. Some, we need more and more. And the Buddha says that she really practiced at it and got really good at it. And we can get really good at it if we keep practicing it. And basically it just is be in the present and not wiggle away from it. And don't think about wiggling away from it. One of the ways to wiggle away from it is to think about how long it might go on or how long it's been going on. And Zen practice is, you know, we don't mean it to be painful, but Zen practice does train people when there's They learn not to think about how much longer this period is going to go or how much longer this retreat is going to go. They learn that that just makes it so much harder.

[72:29]

Don't we? Can you be generous to somebody you know is doing something for a country? How can you be generous to that person? You mean how can you, well, first of all, how can you say welcome? How can you say thank you? Like that, you say welcome. You say, somebody's killing somebody, you might say thank you. The way you might do it is by saying that, or thinking it. Think, thank you. Thank you for what? Thank you for this opportunity to practice generosity. The person's already doing the cruel thing. Right? That's happened already. Right? The cruelty's already happened. Yeah, so now we've got cruelty. Do we want more cruelty or do we want now to complement the cruelty with love? Do you want cruelty and love or just want cruelty plus cruelty?

[73:34]

Do you want cruelty and respect and compassion and wisdom or just want cruelty and then cruelty? Which do you want? The Buddha saw people being cruel and the Buddha responded to the cruelty with compassion. Sometimes the people were snapped out of their cruelty when they saw the Buddha's compassion. Sometimes the Buddha said to the people who were being cruel, I'm your friend, and they snapped out of it. Sometimes the Buddha said, I'm your friend, and they didn't snap out of it. But the Buddha always met cruelty with kindness and converted cruel people but not immediately but the thing is to bring love to cruelty and the first aspect of love is to be generous not I like what you're doing and you might say to them would you do me a favor would you please stop that would you stop doing that to that person

[74:38]

For a second, I'd like to talk to you. You might do something like that to convert the person to compassion. Yes? That's what the Buddha sometimes was able to do. The Buddha saw the cruelty, was friendly to it, and then the person didn't believe it, continued to try to do it, and then the Buddha did another thing and stopped it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, the Buddha told this person who was about to kill the Buddha, the Buddha said, I'm your friend. And he talked to him for quite a while and the guy didn't believe him. So then he tried to kill the Buddha and the Buddha just walked away.

[75:43]

And the guy ran after him and couldn't catch him. And the guy says, hey, why can't I catch you? And the Buddha said, because I stopped. And the guy snapped out of it. He stopped that person from being a murderer. So we actually only want to stop, not just stop the cruelty, we want the person who's involved in cruelty to snap out of it and be converted to kindness. Not just stop it at the moment, we want even more than that. We want this person to wake up from the dream of fear and violence that they're living in. We want that. And I aspire to that skill. But obviously I have to be patient with my current level. Thank you. I brought some copies of a new book that's been published, if you want. I have some signed copies up here. So you have your homework assignment, sort of.

[76:46]

Thank you very much.

[76:48]

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