Since we don't know what's coming tomorrow, I want to take the opportunity now to say thank you. And if I might start by saying thank you to Abbott Norman Fisher for his kind and calm and clear and gentle presentation and enthusiastic presentation of the mindfulness practice in the Mindfulness Sutra and to Tanto Linda Ruth who has steadfastly supported the practice in all of you and kept attentive to the forms of our practice and to the Guino Jordan Thorn and to the wonderful kitchen staff and to Zen Center in general for providing this opportunity for allowing Green Gulch to close down so we could have an unusually intense study in a short period of time.

[01:20]

And to all of you for your really sincere and steadfast and enthusiastic participation in this retreat. And of course to all the Buddha ancestors for providing us with a teaching to focus on and a form of practice to provide the proper setting and state of body and mind in which to study their teachings. So we have words like presence and mindfulness that we've been saying over and over.

[02:46]

And I said it again just now. Presence in the midst of moment-by-moment experience, moment-by-moment life experience, the practice of being purely present. In the midst of the tremendously complex and twisted events that are presenting themselves to us, according to ancient karmic generations we have a practice of pure Buddha presence utterly pure mindfulness and this practice is always there

[03:59]

The question is, can we completely join it, completely realize intimacy with it? Not loving or hating not loving in the sense of the opposite of hate, grasping, not muddling, not messing, not manipulating, not molesting samsara. there's an expression in Sanskrit or Pali, yata bhuttam, which is sometimes translated as it actually is.

[05:29]

But literally, and more accurately, it is as it has actually come to be, or as it is actually coming to be. Presence is simply the way it is coming to be. Now again and again, moment by moment, the way it is coming to be, the way life is coming to be. Presence is to be just as it's coming to be. Yata Bhutan. And if we can be as it is coming to be, we can see as it's coming to be.

[06:37]

Seeing as it's coming to be, we see how it is coming to be. In other words, we see the pentacle arising of this experience. Seeing the pentacle arising, we see Dharma. Seeing Dharma, we see Buddha. And seeing Buddha, we see as Buddha sees. Buddha sees Buddha everywhere. settling into the role it is coming to be for us, strangely, is something or a role of being that we somehow have trouble finding.

[08:17]

Or another way to put it is we have resistance to it. We have resistance to just being the way things are, or to just being with things as they're actually happening. Which is the same saying we have resistance to the Buddha way. And you can speak of two kinds of resistance. One kind is, the way people usually use the word resistance, it's like holding back.

[09:25]

Holding back from being where you are. Holding back from giving yourself completely to the moment. There's another kind of resistance, which is being overly interested in giving yourself to the practice. been too enthusiastic, too happy about it. Liking the forms of practice so much that you distract yourself from what they actually are coming to be. We have some people who tend to specialize in the first kind of resistance, and some people tend to specialize in the second kind. And then many people who go back and forth between these two forms of resistance. When the Buddha's teaching is presented,

[10:36]

When the Buddhist scripture is presented, people resist in these two ways. They think it's so, they get so interested in it, they so love it, that they overshoot it. They don't stop well with the scripture, they make too much out of it. Or, they hold back, they doubt. Or when just letting it do what it is, and not meddling with it well. Or in relationship to some person who represents the teaching, we tend to either rebel or submit. Both kinds of, to both resistance to the actual meeting of the person. And it has occurred to me that one of the advantages of having a practice period with more than one teacher, and people know that there's going to be more than one teacher, is that some people might come to the practice period because they want to study with one of the teachers.

[12:05]

And some other people might come because they want to study with the other teacher. Some people, when some teachers are teaching, both feel, oh, I feel so comfortable. I have no resistance. It's just kind of like I agree with them. Sometimes I'll give talks and afterwards people say, that was a really good talk. That's what I think. That's just what I think. And I think, uh-oh. And sometimes they say, that was really good. I liked the song. But then if there's another teacher who's more kind of like basically agreeing with you or, you know, your style, then I've noticed that people have told me that what they do is they say, no, thank you.

[13:34]

Sort of like back down there, back anywhere. So it's nice to feel like, oh, how nice, oh, you know, and then back to the other way. So you can feel the teacher who is not your style, you can feel yourself. And you can feel your kind of like holding there. So it's nice to be able to feel those two. If you're always like, get away, get that out of here. Maybe it's too much, you know, over and over. But sort of like, oh, that's nice. Next day, oh, no, no. And then, oh, that's nice. It's kind of like a nice pattern for you to sort of see, well, what's going on here? What's the self arising on another day? Where's that coming from? How come it's not there on other days? Or is it? And then in other kinds, you can also speak of five kinds of resistance to what's happening.

[14:37]

And those are like the five healings, those are like resistances. Five roles to sort of keep yourself a little away from what's happening. And again, like in a dharma talk, some people are like sleeping. Say, well, the targets are so good, but I know something that would be good. I can always get a little lost here and remember some of those dreams. That's one way to sort of like get out of this situation of this person talking this way. Another role is to get really, really excited about how interesting it is and take notes or whatever. Or another role to have good time is to hate, you know, and so on. There's various roles to like not, there's those five roles of not being just with what's happening. And then there's like the ten, the five here, there's the ten fetters, the ten other ten ways to resist. And then, of course, there's infinite ways, infinite ways to resist.

[15:46]

But sometimes people like, you know, a small little package of ways of looking at how they're resisting. So sometimes we speak of two, five, and ten. There's also been a request that I speak about the outflows. I don't know if I would quite call the outflows resistance. So what do our flows? Maybe we're kind of like resistance. Anyway, there's something that kind of like some phenomena, there are phenomena that arises with, you know, in the midst of all of our basic phenomena, we're kind of like a special obscuring phenomena or disturbing phenomena that arise with our experiences.

[17:08]

So are these other kind of resistances. These kind of resistances arose from the present, the hindrances and the fetters, to being too enthusiastic, and they're not liking it. The outflows, I think, in some sense, get their name because they're kind of describing various ways in which we feel things are coming at us, coming into us, as a loneliness, a floatiness, or surfaces or areas in which we feel we've been drained or weakened. So the outflows are very much about gaining the loss of our own self. If we could be present, just as our experience is coming to be, if we can do that way, the odd flowers end.

[18:32]

If we're not quite that present, the odd flowers can function. If we're present in such a world that we have immense gaming loss, the outflows when you end. Before we can be completely present, these outflows are functioning. So, we We need to deal with the fact that we're not completely present. We need to deal with how that is in order to be completely present.

[19:39]

We have to honestly admit, I'm resisting. I have resistance to just being here. When, if you see how it is, then just, that's enough. If you see how you're resisting, that's enough. At that time, just seeing how you're resisting itself is not resisting. That vision of admitting this resistance Is it not resistance? If it's perfectly admitted with no wanting to get rid of it or promote it. And I want to say something about analysis, and that is, in some sense, the analytic power of our mind, the analytic ability of our mind, is the source of suffering.

[21:52]

The fact that unknowing can spill itself into two and call something inside and outside, that ability of the human knowing to say, I'm having an experience which is external to myself, to make that analysis is the mechanical source, the mental mechanical source of the whole universe. Massive suffering. Because arising with this ability to split the living room two, to split our experience space into two, to analyze it into this and that, arising with that is the sense of self. The self is born with that ability. The sense of self is born with that ability. And then once the self is born and there is a sense of self as separate from the experience.

[23:04]

The self separate from the five aggregates. And this is the definition Well, and then the self has the idea that the self can grasp the five elements. The self can grasp the experience. There's experience and self, and self has experiences. The self owns, possesses, grasps, and attaches to experience. That and what else is, is the source of suffering. and the cleaning is based on the analysis. So there is, in some instance, some theory, which I really sympathize both, of not wanting to do dreamy-lobic meditation. Because analysis is itself kind of aggravating and disturbing to the mind. The mind is literally disturbed

[24:11]

in its unity, by this separation, by this duality, by this ability to bifurcate itself. So, what doing with meditation could be seen as just doing more of what's really annoying and painful? But it is necessary to be present with this analysis that's going on. If we can be present with the spiritual education in man, the joint relation of self, the cooling in that pain, if we can be present with that mass of dependently clarising self and suffering, that presence is a renunciation of the whole process.

[25:13]

That process is the fruit in front of the process. But again, if there's any resistance to this process, if there's any separation from it, it's the same thing, it's the same process again. Sometimes people say, stay present. You can't stay present. You have to find presence every moment, because presence is always in what's happening. You can't use yesterday's presence, you know.

[26:16]

You can't use a line ago's presence now. You have to find your presence in this new presentation. And if you can just be present with what's happening, then you will be presented with the right things are coming to be. And if you can be that way, you can see that way. Last week I was talking to someone about the outfares, and the question is, are the outfares before or after good, hating delusion? And I would say that good, hurt, and delusion are actually a simpler occurrences.

[27:32]

they're continually intertwining with the outflows, but the outflows are a little bit more comprehensive way of describing how this basic grid-hating illusion functions. So, basically, you could say that given this I'll do it of a self. I'll stop it from your experience. And then what arises is this feeling, this, I already called it, of response. As a response arises in the situation, you've got the self and experience, and when this response comes up, which is another experience. You have experience, then you have self-suffering experience, and then you have self-suffering experience, you put those together, you get piri.

[28:44]

Self-real experience, self-realization experience, piri. But not piri, but you can make a response to the piri. And then your response to the piri can be seen as The self-in-experience responding to the pain. I was self-responding to the experience of the pain. What's occurring to be? What is occurring to be? Experience self-pairing, non-response to pain. Response in what situation? In a situation, again, where the pain is arousing, experience the pain in an ability of self, that situation makes more of a response of doing a role-frame of pain, or trying to get some pleasure as a role of building with the pain, or confusion about what will be best.

[29:48]

That's true to me. Painful experience and self, do something about it. Pleasureful experience and self, do something about it. I'm affected by it. I'm affected by it because I got an I separate from the experience. Got a pleasureful experience in an I, the I is affected by the pleasureful experience in the I wants to do something about it. And the plot experience is only the others to do something about it. So, we have an experience community, a sense of self, and then an experience isn't just an experience, it becomes a disorienting experience. Then experience isn't just experience, it becomes not only a painful or a pleasure for experience, but our experience becomes disorienting.

[30:57]

Everything that happens, it doesn't just happen, it happens and it confuses the situation. Then the rest of the situation is turned and twisted and ripped around by everything that happens. Closing things, ripped around. Unclosing things, disoriented. Neutral things, disoriented. Everything disclosures it. Because it's basically off. It's off. It's broken in two. So ordinary life bothers it. And that is something that is coming to be all the time, in various varieties.

[32:00]

So I haven't exactly told you what the outflowers are, but I've told you how to work. They're disvalient, they're chewing us up, they're toast us around, in the midst of pain. In addition to pain, they're worth the whole thing in this. They like pain in themselves. Do you see? They're in a painful situation, and they're in a painful situation. The self is in a painful situation. or the self is in a playful situation, or the self is in a neutral situation. The self is through the situation and the self is separate from the situation. Okay? In that situation, the self is affected. The self is affected and the self gets upset. The self gets twisted around and flipped around. And tries to do something to not only do it self-oriented, but also try to get some pleasure and avoid pain. And get itself out of confusion so it can get some more pleasure. These are the outflows, okay?

[33:07]

I saw a river called the Sanskrit, and it means flood. This is the big flood. And the flood can come in, and the flood can go out. We're in a flubbing world. The world's place isn't just arousing. It's floodliness and drainliness. Floodliness and drainliness. Flood drain, flood drain. So you can't even see anymore. So you can't see. It's very difficult even to see how it is that Experience arises, there's a sense of self-separation from it, and that's P. And then, Antonio's response to that which causes the turbulence. So the asteroid valves are kind of senses showing how, in addition to basic suffering, which is there all the time because of the separation, between self and experience in addition and arising out of that is an addition of turbulence which makes it hard to see the suffering as it's arising and therefore it's first and therefore be with it and therefore end it.

[34:10]

Not only is it difficult to be present with suffering but it's difficult to be present in this circus allowing suffering. But that's what we have to work with because everybody's got these outflows. And Buddha had him too. On the night of his enlightenment, what you have heard, he had various kinds of knowledge that occurred to him. The last knowledge that occurred to him was called the marriage of the women of the floods, the floods back to Roy. But they're back to Roy by meditating on them. So the pure mentalist is not analyzing the situation. The situation is being analyzed in an extremely obnoxious way. First of all, it's broken in a basic principle of self-generalism. Only because of that basic separation was true and was a chemical reaction set up.

[35:18]

So what this really intense mess of our throws, the practice is to be closing in the middle of that situation. And clearly observe thus arouses this mass of confusion and twisted pain and a noxious experience. which the meditator, which the meditation practice does not hate and does not love. At first, immediately confused about it, but basically not hating it, basically understanding that we must deal with this myth without messing with it. And again, not that we must do it with it, that it must be dealt with, there must be presence with it.

[36:19]

Presence is not me. And again, we must be present with it in a way that we like to be present with it. We must find a role that we actually find comfortable. Can you imagine to find a comfortable place in this scenario that I just painted? We need to find a place where we're willing to sit there and learn anything and feel that we would be willing to do that again and again. How can we encourage ourselves to practice that way? so that we actually feel good about it, feel good about being in such a situation. One day, one of the first talks I heard about Suzuki Rashi, I was sitting cross level and I was uncomfortable, and I asked him, is there any difference between Zen students pain and Zen master's pain?

[37:37]

And he said, no. That encouraged me. I don't know whether it's true enough still, but It encouraged me not to run away from my pain and try to get his kind of pain. Someone described my talks as a Baptist. Someone thought this was the sense of humor. Anyway, do you believe? Do you believe that the Buddhists actually sit there in the middle of whatever mess is arising? Do you believe that they don't move? And that if you sit like that, if you're present that way, that you're actually doing that singing practice as the Buddha, and that all the Buddhas are with you. Do you believe that the scriptures that show that over and over, that all Buddhas are sitting there in the middle of the world of suffering, and that when you do,

[38:38]

We're doing Buddha's meditation, same as Buddha. Well, Buddhas are sort of different in a row before and after certain enlightening experiences, but before we're enlightened, they're exactly like us when we are a certain level of practice. Before, when they weren't willing to practice at all, they're just like us, we're not willing to practice at all. But we're willing to be whatever kind of person we are, with no idea of past or future. Revelation said, no idea of past and future and just learning of what's happening. When they're remembering about the world and learning about that, we're the same as them. Do believe that. Even if you believe it, then it still doesn't mean that's not the end of the story, but you need to practice it. If you believe it, practice your faith. we've filled the Pradhoam Buddha's practice.

[39:39]

Why are we truly present in the middle of those? Which I still in the same sense haven't told you what they are in any detail specifically, but when we can be in the middle of all this turbulence and just sit there and clearly observe, the flood comes down, the rose will see, and then we get to see something which isn't in some sense all that pleasant to see. you get to see suffering. But now you can see it as it is coming to be. When Madunas floods, when the outflows, when we moved away from him and left him sitting there, it wasn't when nothing was happening, but it's still experience, and there is still a sense of self. However, the sense of self is not separate from the experience anymore.

[41:12]

And the sense of self is just a similar experience, a similar experience. And the sense of self is just a similar experience. And the sense of self is just a similar experience. Then the rose precede, and you can see what suffering is. Suffering was then when the self separates from the experience. So the Buddha saw, this is suffering. The Buddha saw, this is suffering. The Buddha saw, as it is coming to be, this is the origin of suffering. The Buddha saw samsara when the outflows moved away. All samsara was coming to be. The Buddha was coming to be. He saw samsara as it was coming to be. He only saw nirvana or niroda or cessation as it is coming to be.

[42:17]

Then he saw the path as it is coming to be. and the Eightfold Path to all the other things are just all come down to this being the world things are coming to be. All come down to that. Now, when you speak to this world, you know this in terms and I think about the rest of your life. I think of the other people or you under other circumstances that I will meet in the future. And I wonder, will I be able to meet each situation

[43:21]

as it tends to be. And this kind of thinking about whether I'll be able to and not is a little bit of resistance to being right here with you now and not be concerned about whether I'm going to be able to practice this in the future. But this is the last day of our retreat, so there is a concern here in the sense There is an idea which arises in the millions of people. What about tomorrow afternoon? Will I be able to continue to practice when I elude this pleasant valley? Such a thought arises. Will I be able to practice tomorrow afternoon and tomorrow night? Such a thought might arise.

[44:25]

Do you know that? I'm going to go out and listen to some music. We're going to a jazz club. We're going to take a Japanese milk with us. Named Suzuki Holtz. More will be moving from this there. Now, probably the musicians will be mindful. But we'll be. That's such a problem that arise. Well, come in back here. We'll not throw you out. How about now? It's not that there is past or isn't. It's not that there is future or isn't. Whether there is or isn't, it ends well now. We have to give up everything but what's happening now.

[45:35]

And we even have to give up what's happening now. But doing that means, let it be what it is. Doing that means, get up to it and get something out of it. Let it be. If it's samsara, have you doing samsara? Let it be. Buddha let samsara be. Buddha saw samsara, and that's all Buddha did if I see it. How is this coming to be? Buddha saw, this is suffering. I don't hear anything about those saying, this is suffering, and I'm going to get rid of it. No. This is suffering. This is the origination of suffering, and this is the end of it. This is the end of it, and this is it. Once again,

[46:47]

Before Buddha saw what suffering was, how it really has come to be, before Buddha saw that Buddha was in a mess, that it couldn't see it, that it could not see suffering, the truth of suffering. Buddha saw suffering the same, but not completely clearly entirely up those laid. So, the authors will not really until we don't mess with them. When they come and slap us in the face, they push slap back, they'll slap us again. If they come in two sizes gently and we try to do it again, they will. But if we really let them touch us, and let them really touch us, if we feel the turbulence, the confusion which is obstructing our clear vision of the third level truths, and don't love it and don't hate it, the obstructions will take a vacation, and we will see.

[48:12]

This is suffering. And suffering comes from self being separated from experience. And when we see that, we move but alone too. And leaving that alone is a life where self is not separated from experience. It's a life of pure vision and pure mindfulness. Not karma. It's a moment of this is cessation. So again, do you believe? I believe that. I believe what I just said. If you don't believe, then we should have some discussions. more practice periods. And we used to argue a case that you really don't think this is good social-centric practice would work.

[49:17]

Explain why you don't think it would work. And once you're done, once you're done, I'm not doing a lot of analysis. This presence is not analysis. I'm not going to be a analysis analyzer. We have to be present with the analyzer. The analyzer is doing humaneness. Like, you don't have to, like, Involving analysis, you need to just live with it. Okay? Analysing analytic meditation is mindfulness of the analytic processes of the human mind. Pure, unknowing, no-durning, no-selfish process with the analytic function of the human consciousness. which is fundamental to human consciousness, this hand-letic function. Anyway, if you do not believe that pure presence, pure man from this world will give you the division of the liberal and truth, then you should argue with those who are proposing that that's the case.

[50:31]

While one-on-one, I'll give a bunch of people that agree with you and come in groups, And it was not your case that this about your haru-sulis would not work. I'd be happy to argue the case for this could be moving from this practice and the necessity of seeing the source of our problems in order to become free of them. But if you do believe it, it doesn't make sense to you. The only question is, are you going to practice it? I'm going to practice the rest of the day. I'm going to practice it tonight. I'm going to practice it forever. So please consider. Does it make sense to you? Rationally? Intuitively? Does it make sense to you that this kind of work needs to be done? What's or no? If no, let's talk about it. If you ask, next question.

[51:35]

Do you want to practice it? Can you just run out? Let's talk about that. How could you run out? Well, we'll talk about that later. If you do run to it, then we'll get committed to do so. And the question about what you're committed to do so, I think is resolved into writing and saying, no, I don't want to practice it. One of the words, well, we may not practice it because we think it's really hard. And also, like a commitment or something, we don't think you can follow through on. Because it's very hard in the midst of our list to keep remembering, to come back and pay attention. Very hard. We know that. Because we think we are more intuitive. So I saw the people quite often, this is mere vow.

[52:37]

It doesn't mean I better follow my face. But the vow, I haven't been changing my vow left and right. My vow is getting, you know, pretty stoutable. But I found my face. But then after I follow my face, I get up and try again. But I don't try to remove vow. My vows aren't changing all the time, just that I make mistakes all the time. Try something like this, it's very difficult. You can probably make mistakes. That doesn't mean that you don't want to do it. So that's part of how somebody, I'm not going to take this in, because if you take this in, you're going to take a kind of practice where it won't be something that you must have said, I don't want to be perfect at. You'll still have to finish it. You don't have to miss those that you wear off or for grit or fall down or don't act in accordance with it.

[53:39]

But we won't run taking a vow, even knowing that one would fail. Not fail, but make mistakes, veer off, trip and fall occasionally or constantly. So I'm going to say, give me something that I can have a higher percentage of success at. Okay, maybe listen another way. But I'm still presenting this way, if you could make that commitment. And this has to do with the lousiness, or anti-lousiness, new lousiness business. So I would remain enthusiastic about practicing meaningfulness, struggling to form your world truths. Practicing meaningfulness could tell you can actually feel them right before your eyes.

[54:48]

Have you actually taken on, considered taking on a commitment to practice meaningfulness completely thoroughly, in order to see these truths for yourself, just like Buddha saw them, and be liberated by the same vision. Have you? Have I? Dhamma-gayata boundless, I vow to enter them. I vow to enter the Four Noble Truths. I vow to do the practices to cut through those delusions by studying those delusions as they're coming to be so I can enter those diamond gates.

[55:56]

Is that where you're at? When Buddha saw the first truth and so on, when Buddha saw the truth of suffering, that vision is connected with his compassion, which you had before that. I talked yesterday about whether the desirer goes with this kind of vision. Can you have desirer here? And I don't know what I would say, but Buddha's worldly desire to educate people. In other words, so it is that the one desire to educate people makes Buddhas appear in the world.

[57:02]

So I don't know if I would attribute one desire to the Buddhas, but the one desire To educate people, makes Buddhas appear. That's the primary, the one word condition for the appearance of Buddhas, is the desire to open people's eyes to the firm of the Truth, and to show up to them. and to help them understand it and help them enter it. The desire to help people open, see, understand and enter, that desire makes Buddhas appear in the world. So it is a desire connected to compassion, the desire to teach this. This desire comes to one who has remonst the world who has remonst these outflows and seen the truth.

[58:08]

September 9th, I vow to go to the jazz club and practice mindfulness while listening to the music. And practice mindfulness when they come up and ask me if I want a drink. But I'm going to go, I think, probably to that music event. It's too late to ask you if you understood all this teaching about mindfulness.

[59:56]

I mean, I can ask, but there's not much going up to you in this setting to talk about it. But whether you think you understood or not, with whatever level of understanding you have of the practice, I again ask, do you want to practice it diligently? And the word dojo, you know what I mean? The root of the word dojo means to choose. To choose lovingly. It means to lovingly take care of. Do you wish to lovingly take care of the mindfulness practice of the Buddhas? And diligent is also, two synonyms for diligent I thought were nice. One synonym of the diligent is industrious.

[61:07]

Another synonym is assiduous. And industrious means skillful. And assiduous means to sit near. So it means to be constantly, constantly sitting near. Have you considered making a vow to practice my influence bourgeoisly, industriously, skillfully, assiduously? I request that you spend this day with that question in your heart about whether you're willing to really wholeheartedly commit yourself to studying what's happening and to be completely in accord with things as they're coming to be.

[62:18]

Now, when you don't have so much distractions today, consider that's really what you want to do with your life. Is that really like where you're at? Or do you have some resistance? Are you overly enthusiastic about it? Or thinking, you know, what's... Can you really decide to do that? Eat and commit yourself.

[62:52]

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