There is a path to Buddhahood and in the beginning it's an altruistic intention and in the end it's altruistic service. In the beginning of the path to Buddhahood there is a wish, there is a desire to live for the benefit of all beings and in the end there is the ability to be of service to all beings, benefit. In between the wish or the desire to live for the welfare of all beings

[01:19]

and the realization of completely unhindered service. In between there is lots of practice and in particular in between is the realization of the highest wisdom. In the service of realizing the highest wisdom we have teachings about how to realize the highest wisdom and practices of how to apply those teachings to our life. It is possible, it actually does happen apparently, that in a sense ordinary unenlightened beings can have the good fortune that in their heart there arises

[02:36]

the deep and completely sincere wish to live for the welfare of all beings. This can happen, such a thing can happen to the heart and mind of an ordinary person. An ordinary person means somebody who is not yet enlightened. Unenlightened beings can wish to live for the welfare of all beings. It can happen to them that they can have this desire and you maybe know some people who really do want to live for the welfare of beings but who are not enlightened. You really feel and trust that they really do care for beings but you can still see that they maybe do not understand what's happening. You may even feel that way yourself, that you really do care for the welfare of this world but you're not completely clear about what's happening.

[03:40]

The practice of wisdom is to start by, I guess, becoming somewhat aware of our misconceptions, of our lack of wisdom. And work to, and practice to, and study to give up our ignorant views, give up our incorrect views which most of us come naturally with. We naturally have misunderstandings of what's happening. And sometimes we think those misunderstandings are actually true, are real, or that what we think is real is real and sometimes it's not.

[05:08]

So this year we've been emphasizing wisdom teachings and looks like probably next year we'll be emphasizing them too because not everyone has yet become completely wise. So I hope you can, those of you who come around here, can stand to hear more teachings about wisdom. Wisdom which is in the service of removing all obstructions to being of service to beings. Obstructions which arise from incomplete wisdom. Someone wrote me a letter a while ago, a woman wrote me a letter, and I think I had talked to this woman before about something I think is really important,

[06:47]

and that is that on the path to Buddhahood we really need to get over being afraid to make mistakes. We need to learn how to not be afraid to make mistakes. We need to learn how to not try to hide our mistakes. And I would even go so far as to say we need to learn how to not be worried about making mistakes.

[07:56]

This woman then wrote to me and said that in the light of that statement about being afraid of making mistakes, she was also actually becoming weary and not being comfortable trying to be a good girl. She actually didn't like trying to be a good girl. It might be actually okay to try to be a good girl if in the process you're not afraid of making mistakes. So I wrote back to her and I said some things and then I said, I didn't really say this but I'm going to say it like this today,

[09:18]

Dear young lady, even though she's quite a mature woman compared to me, she's a young lady. She's only 40. Dear young lady, please forgive me in advance if the following words are rough. I think they come from a feeling that you are dear to me. And I said, I don't think you need to be concerned, you don't need to be worried about being a good girl because you are already a very good girl. Also, I don't think you need to worry to be afraid of making mistakes. I say good girls make mistakes, and bad girls don't notice that they make mistakes.

[10:30]

Sometimes the reason that those bad girls don't notice they make mistakes is because they're afraid to notice. So please learn not to be afraid to make mistakes, and then you will be able to learn from making mistakes. Please remember the kind words of this old man. Buddhas are those who awaken and learn in the midst of making mistakes. Buddhas are not those who are so deluded as to think that they do not make mistakes.

[11:50]

Therefore, give up fear of making mistakes and learn more and more from them, and you will not only be a good girl, which you already are, but you will also become Buddha. Thank you. Buddhas are those who are greatly enlightened about delusion, not those who think they're not deluded.

[13:05]

Ordinary people, not all the time, but ordinary people frequently think that they're not deluded. It's an ordinary person. Do you know some people like that, who think they're not deluded? That's an ordinary person. Buddha does not go around thinking, I'm not deluded. Buddha sees delusion as delusion, and that's awakening. Because, you know, delusion is delusion. Ordinary people see delusion and think it's awakening, and that's delusion. But it's not just delusion, it's deepening, deepening delusion. And then, part of the delusion is being afraid to notice, or embarrassed to possibly be deluded. Buddha is not, I'm right, I'm right, I'm right, I'm right. You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong.

[14:20]

It's more like, I might be wrong and you might be right. But certainly, I might be wrong. I might be mistaken. The Buddha teaches, or has taught, that everything that exists, exists in dependence on things other than itself. Everything that exists is an interdependent event that does not make itself happen. Moment by moment, our life is a fleeting flux of experience.

[15:29]

We do not make ourselves happen, we do not make our experience happen, and our experience doesn't make itself happen. Our experience, right now, is happening in dependence on things other than itself. And how this is, is basically inconceivable, how that happens. How we actually are coming to exist, moment by moment, and changing moment by moment, in its actual, full-fledged vitality, is beyond the grip, the reach, the reach and the grip of our consciousness. However, we also have the ability to make up a story about what's going on.

[16:39]

Our mind can make up a story about what's going on, moment by moment. We come up with a story about what's happening, a story which we can grasp. We can grasp the story even though the story doesn't grasp what's happening. We have fantasies, we have imaginations about what is going on in this world. Moment by moment, this is normal. Even Buddhas have fantasies about what's going on. A mind can do that, a mind can make up a story about what's happening. And right now, probably all of us have a story about what's happening. Our stories may have some commonality. But all of our stories, each of our stories, none of our stories, actually reach what is happening right now.

[17:39]

Saying this to you, I'm at least a little bit aware that I may be mistaken by saying this. And I hope to learn from this mistake if it is so. In fact, what I'm saying to you now is a story which I don't really believe reaches what's happening. It's a story about how stories don't reach what's happening. Generally speaking, we do not walk around and meet our life, experience our life defenseless. We defend ourselves from the awe of life with a story and another one. So we can cope by grasping, getting a hold of something. This is our normal, innate way of being.

[18:48]

I've said this before and I'll say it again, not because you didn't get it, but because... and not because I didn't get it, but even though I didn't, and even though you didn't. But to say it over and over until this message sinks into the marrow of your bones, the message that we walk around with fantasies of what is happening, and what is happening is not just a fantasy. However, we fantasize about life and we project the fantasy upon the wonderfully interdependent, pulsating, ungraspable vitality of actual life. Strongly adhering to these stories about what's happening, by strongly adhering to our stories about what's happening,

[19:54]

to make a long story short, and those of you who want to hear more, stick around. There's a more complicated story of how this happened, but basically, by strongly adhering to our stories of what's happening as being what's happening, we basically become entrapped in misery and unskillful, unhelpful activities. We basically set up the hindrances to our wish to be of service in a beneficial way during this life. Did you get that? Just hold to your idea of what's happening, hold to your fantasy of what's happening, and that sets in motion the process of bondage to misery and unskillful activities. And most people do that, more or less.

[20:59]

But if you can start to wake up to how that's happening, how we're making that mistake, making that mistake over and over, making the mistake that my story of what's going on is what's going on. I think I do believe that what I think is going on is what's going on. I think I'm making that mistake. By confessing and repenting that mistake over and over, you start to open up to an inconceivable assistance from all those who do not hold to these views. In other words, the Buddhas and great Bodhisattvas, you start to open up to the assistance which will help you finally not strongly adhere to your story of what's happening as being what's happening. And when we do not, in dependence upon not gripping your story as being what's happening,

[22:13]

we come to see reality. And then, focusing on that, we undo. We gradually undo this tendency to grasp our fantasies of life as being a life and we gradually release ourselves from all hindrance to our service to beings. We evolve by meditating on what we can see when we don't adhere to our stories. We evolve by meditating on what we can see when we don't adhere to our stories. We evolve by meditating on what we can see when we don't adhere to our stories. We evolve towards being a really helpful being. who is, by the way, rather happy, but that's not the main point.

[23:19]

The point is to help the other people stop holding on to their stories. So in the service of helping people not adhere to their stories about what's happening as being what's happening, these words are being transmitted over the centuries to help people wake up from the dream that we naturally fall into. The dream that our dream is reality. We naturally dream. And dreams will not stop. But people can start realizing that dreams are dreams. This is sometimes called learning the backward step.

[24:24]

The forward step is things are what I think they are, and I'm going to go right forward with that. The backward step is what I think is what I think, but it actually is just a fantasy based on what's happening and not what's happening itself. And I do notice that sometimes I forget to remember that, and I strongly adhere to what I think is happening as actually being what's happening. As a matter of fact, I did it just recently and I want to learn from that mistake. I don't know if I did. I don't have a story about whether I did learn or not yet. But I could make one up right now. I think I'll make a story up that I did learn. But again, that doesn't reach the actuality of what happened when I noticed that mistake or made that mistake.

[25:32]

But I might be sort of in the right groove now because I'm aware of that teaching, I'm being mindful of that teaching. I recently remembered something I heard years ago, or read years ago, and that is, I don't think, of course, Freud mostly spoke in German, so he didn't actually say this, but someone interpreted Freud as saying something like, we are all powerful, isolated, fantasy machines. And I was happy that, nothing against Freud, but I was happy that I was given a new insight or a new view of what he said,

[26:49]

which I felt happy about. In other words, when I heard that before, I thought, yeah, there's something good about that. Now what I would say, differing from Freud, is I would say the first part I agree with almost completely. We are powerful fantasy machines. But I do not agree that we are isolated fantasy machines. I think we are powerful, completely interdependent fantasy machines. And one of the most important fantasies which we interdependently experience is the fantasy of isolation. We are not isolated fantasy machines, but among our fantasies, perhaps the most important one to address is that we are isolated.

[27:52]

And we are powerful fantasy machines. Our fantasies are transforming, making a transformative contribution to the evolution of the universe. And we need to use our fantasies in order to hear teachings and awaken us to our fantasy process. We need to use our fantasy process to hear teachings and understand language, period. We need to use our fantasy in order to understand language and hear verbal teachings, which are designed to awaken us from believing our fantasies are more than that. .

[29:02]

. Many people in this room, I imagine, and some I have heard, and have auditory recordings in my mind, actually videos in my mind too, of being told by some of you that you'd like to be helpful, you'd like to help people, you'd like to help others. And recently one of you said to me, How can I help the people here? And at that day, where I was at was to say, Turn it around, in a way.

[30:05]

Take the backward step on that one. So we wish, we want to be of service to beings, but in order to do that, we have to kind of turn it around probably. How do you turn it around? One way to turn it around would be to turn it around from How can I help people? to How are people helping me? But actually what I think is more of a turnaround, and more of a turn-on too, is not to say, switch from how can I, or how do I help others, for starters, but rather, and not so much, just turn part of the way back to How do they help me, or how can they help me? to How am I receiving their help?

[31:10]

So, one way to turn this process around is How am I receiving help now? How am I receiving it? Not how are you helpful to me, but how am I receiving it? I may think that you are being helpful, or I may think you are not being helpful. Those thoughts may occur, but if they do or they don't, and particularly if I have the thought, You are not being helpful to me right now. This is not helpful. This is not helpful, even if I have that thought, even if I have that fantasy. This is not helpful. Still, at that moment that I have that thought,

[32:20]

at the moment that I have that story about what's going on, that you're not being helpful to me, I would suggest that the mind of the Buddha, the Buddha who might have that same thought, the Buddha might have the same thought, You are not being helpful. This is not helpful. The Buddha might have that thought, but the Buddha would not be strongly adhering to that thought as being what's happening. The Buddha would be aware of how you are, and the Buddha would be aware of how you are in the sense that the Buddha is aware of how the Buddha is receiving your help from you non-stop. Buddhas are not those who are sometimes aware of beings helping them. The Buddha mind is not aware of

[33:23]

that sometimes beings are helping them or that some beings are helping them. That's not the Buddha mind. The Buddha mind is awareness of receiving help from all beings each moment. Just check into that hotel. Speaking of the word hotel, I believe the word hotel is based on the word host. And the word host, the etymology of the word host is guest. Host originally means stranger or foreigner or enemy. And those who took care of the strangers and the foreigners came to be called the hosts.

[34:24]

Those who took care of the hosts, who were the guests, became the hosts. It's the same in Buddha's mind. Buddha is nothing but taking care of guests. Buddha has no life other than being helped by others. And Buddha is not helped more by quite enlightened people than by severely unenlightened people. Still, again, Buddha might think, Oh, this person is more helpful than that person. This is Buddha's fantasy. These are the helpful ones. These are the medium. These are the unhelpful ones. Such fantasies occur about our relationships. Focus on how you are receiving help, not, again, on how it is helpful or isn't helpful,

[35:27]

which you're going to keep doing anyway. You know, that kind of stuff happens. Like I was walking to my car a couple days before yesterday. Actually, I was walking to my wife's car and I was trying to get there before the traffic meter expired and I saw my car and I saw a tow truck in front of it. And I saw the tow truck and the car moving up the hill. And I said, No. I said, I'm here. It's me. Please leave the car. And they stopped.

[36:30]

They being the person who gave the ticket and the person driving the truck, they stopped. And it was raining. And they gave me this wet thing to sign, which I signed. And the driver of the truck came out and he didn't look like, Gee, I wish I could get this tow. He was a big guy, plus he was standing uphill. And he had nice dark, not dark, it was more like, I wouldn't say dark, it was more like milk chocolate colored skin and looking kind of beneficently down upon me. Like, Yeah, you can have your car. Whatever, man. He really seemed to not mind and not take the car away. So with this $50 ticket on the car

[37:35]

and the car not going away, one's mind starts to calculate. Is this helpful or unhelpful? Is this like, you know, is it helpful that they sort of move my car up the hill a little ways? It gave me that feeling of like, Okay, now I can walk from here to some other part of San Francisco in the rain to get the car. The mind can do that quite quickly, right? There goes the car and now what am I going to do? All that, and no, I don't want to do that. And then here's the ticket. Was this helpful or unhelpful, this event? Was I in Buddha Samadhi prior to arriving at the scene? Was I step-by-step meditating on How am I receiving help? How am I receiving help? Or do you start just when they start pulling your car away or a few minutes afterwards?

[38:39]

Anyway, whenever you can start, start. If you've missed some opportunities in the last years, if you haven't yet started practicing entering the Buddha's mind, you can start now. And then you can try to continue so that when these things come to you or when these things come, you will be able to see how you're receiving them and how you're receiving help. Again, Buddhas are not those who sit around. They do sometimes have stories like this is not helpful, but they don't adhere to the story of this is not being helpful as being what's happening. And sometimes, as you may know, people get a special help.

[39:42]

A special help in the form of a story called the story of what's not helping me. This is like definitely not helping me. They get that story. Okay? And then when they get the story which is for sure not helping them, that's the story they needed to stop adhering to the story of what's happening as being what's happening. If we have stories like this is probably not helpful or it's sort of not helpful, or it's not helpful but, you know, it's just not helpful. So I'll just like hold to that and I'll get by with it. I'll suffer but I got that story. But some stories are given to us which if we hold those

[40:44]

we will actually be helped by those stories to stop holding to any stories. But hopefully you don't need one of those. But maybe you do. Maybe I do. But even if you get one you still have to then continue to practice this with less dramatic stories. Less dramatic means stories which aren't so specially given to help you stop adhering to them. Thank you.

[41:58]

Well, people are starting to look at their watches so maybe I should stop, huh? No? You just seem to be working? Working? What time is it? It's noon? It's noon in Denver. It's noon in Salt Lake City. Hmm? Again I think

[43:24]

it might be more helpful to focus on how you are receiving help rather than on how what you're receiving is helpful. I think that's probably more of a continuous practice. So it's not so much that you try to talk yourself into how it's something but if somebody's acting towards you in a way that your mind says this is not helpful I'm not exactly suggesting to you that you resist that story. You know? And say, oh this really is helpful. And switch to another story. That this is helpful. I don't think that would be so good. Because you're still really like

[44:28]

getting caught by the negative version of the negative story which is a positive story. So again we have positive stories and negative stories. Right? This person's doing really well. This person's not doing so well. This person's doing really badly. So rather than just trying to turn the stories of this person's doing badly or not being helpful try to manipulate them over to the other side which is still strongly adhering and just trying to strongly adhere and hopefully if you squeeze this negative story enough it'll start oozing positivity. I don't suggest that. I think it might be helpful if someone else did that for you so that you could wake up to the falseness of your story. You know?

[45:29]

You're looking at somebody who's like your enemy and suddenly they go, Yoo-hoo! Look who I really am! Wake up! Oh my God. Rather than me trying to change them into something else I think they're bad now I'm going to change them into what I think is good rather to see sometimes that this person who I don't think is good that what they are is not what I'm thinking. That might help me. But what I think makes me ready for this reversal for this release from strongly adhering is to be aware of how I'm receiving help all the time no matter what the story is. The Buddha is receiving help all the time no matter what the Buddha's story.

[46:30]

When I or you are in that mode you are in Buddha's meditation. Again, once again, the Buddha may think this is helpful, that's helpful those thoughts, those ideas, those stories can occur in Buddha's consciousness. But where Buddha lives is a place where there's no traces of those stories. Those stories do not reach where the Buddha's illumination is happening. They don't reach there. However, the Buddha's illumination illuminates those stories. So you can be in the middle of a story of this is not helpful or this is helpful but the illumination frees you of clinging to those stories so you can re-enter the realm

[47:33]

where those stories don't reach and again have that illumination which you're sitting in come back and illuminate adhere to them and not adhering to them shows you reality which makes you more and more realize Buddhahood which is the way that the way things really are come and transform our ordinary mind not to have no stories but to have no clinging to stories as what's happening. So actually you can have the worst stories and the best stories and everything in between with no clinging to anything. And you don't have to like turn the stories down to be kind of blah blah blah not very interesting so you won't cling to them. Matter of fact, the test is

[48:38]

whether they can be tuned turned way up into their most glorious and most horrific to see if you actually won't fall for those either. And that's part of the training is to be in situations where they can be turned up nice and high and you don't grab them and even when they're turned up high you still see the reality which is revealed by not adhering to them. Buddha sits in the place where all beings are helping Buddha and where Buddha is helping all beings and all beings are helping each other where all beings are helping all beings. That's where Buddha sits. Buddha sits where you are receiving the help of all beings all enlightened beings all unenlightened beings

[49:38]

all inanimate things. The place where they're all helping you is where the Buddha is sitting. Our stories don't reach there. And the message to pay attention to and focus on how you are receiving that help how you are receiving help how you are receiving help is a message to hopefully induct, introduce, initiate us into the place of the Buddha mind. Induct us to the place where our consciousness doesn't reach and the place where our consciousness is illuminated and liberated. Thank you.

[50:40]

Thank you. Again, it's not how am I being helped, it's my suggestion is how am I receiving the help? And I have some confidence that in the awareness of how I'm receiving the help that awareness that totally un-isolated interconnected awareness that awareness of how I'm receiving help that is the mode by which beings are helped. Not just me, but all the beings that are helping me. That's where Buddha helps from.

[52:35]

That's where Buddha illuminates from. We are cordially invited to enter this meditation of the Buddhas. This is the Buddha's meditation. It's the one the Buddhas are doing right now. That illumination has come to ordinary consciousness and ordinary consciousness can sometimes speak English and tell you about this illumination coming from beyond ordinary consciousness and beyond English. It's funny, huh?

[53:41]

That I'm telling you this stuff that I'm talking about a message from beyond the grave. I'm talking about a message that being sent to this consciousness from beyond consciousness to be converted into language so it can illuminate consciousness about a place where consciousness doesn't reach and to set up and enhance this vibration between consciousnesses which grasp and consciousnesses which don't. Or consciousness or illumination, I should say, that's beyond consciousness in resonance with consciousnesses to set this up, this vibration. So it's going on all the time already. It's not that it's not...

[54:46]

I said set up, but actually it's more like celebrated. It's more like, yeah, celebrated. It's more like let's enact it more and more. I don't know where these words come from, but they are words describing the possibility of many more words. I'm saying to you that I could say more about this, and I probably will,

[55:47]

but I also, I feel I want to say I want to give you a little bit of time in silence now to consider the possibility of what a guy is telling you, a possibility of actually entering into the mind of the Buddha, the illumination of the Buddha. Just before you go out into the big wide world, just take or receive the opportunity to consider this meditation for a little bit. In hopes, that you'll be able to find it in the tea party which is soon to ensue. A silence dedicated to

[57:00]

promote the mindfulness which is Buddha's mindfulness of how everything everything no, wrong, of how I am receiving help. Now, mindfulness of how this life is the receiving of help. Silence.

[58:07]

Silence. Being aware of how I'm receiving help, I want to talk more, and I want to say that when I'm when I'm aware of how I'm receiving help, I actually can ask you to help me. I can say, Would you help me with this? Would you help me with that? Would you do this? Would you do that? I can say it, but it's coming from not that you're not helping me. Would you start? Not what you're doing is not helpful. Would you stop? It's more not even what you're doing is helpful or unhelpful. It's that I'm receiving help, and in receiving help, I ask you to help me.

[59:09]

I ask you to help me. Please help me. Please practice this practice of Buddha's mind. I ask you that from being aware of receiving help. I don't ask you that because I don't think you're helpful or that you are helpful. I ask you from the joy the joy of understanding how I'm receiving help. So I joyfully ask you to help. By being mindful of how you're receiving help. Always. But forget always.

[60:14]

Now. [...] That kind of thing. May our intention equally penetrate every being and place with the true merit of Yes? Could you say something more about the difference in practice between receiving help and the other alternative that you would not suggest if you're focusing on what the help is about? Yeah, kind of. Because I think getting into what's the help about or whether this is helpful or not, that goes on. That, you know,

[61:15]

your mind is judging all the time like is this person helping me? Is this person not helping me? I think this person is helping me. Now they're not helping me. Now they like me. Now they don't. Now they approve. Now they don't. Their approval isn't helpful. Their approval is helpful. They're approving me to do bad things. So they're unhelpful. Blah, blah, blah. This is... Our mind does that. I'm not saying to try to... I'm not saying to fight that. So that's going to keep going on. I'm talking about taking a step back deep inside where your life actually is happening. And actually I... to emphasize the word slightly differently, one way of saying it is like to focus on how I am receiving help could be seen as how I am here receiving help.

[62:17]

But another way is here it is focus on how I am I am receiving help. Focusing on how you are what you are is receiving help. What you are is receiving help. But again, that can be heard as what you are is receiving help. What you are, what I am is receiving help. That's what you actually are. You are a receiving of help. That's what you actually are. And you are helped to be a being who can judge whether you are being helped or not. You have equipment to make judgments like that. And you are helped to be that way by many conditions. So, as that main vessel for receiving help, is that appropriate? Well, it's fine except that

[63:21]

you don't want to have an a-priority vessel. It's not like you are there before. So actually, you are born when all the things come forward in a given moment. You are born in the advent of everything. It's not like you are there beforehand. So whatever happens, actually, in a moment, that's your life. That's who you are. And then... Well again, that makes it sort of splits it apart. It is, it is the receiving. You are the receiving. You are born, it's like, it's like you're not actually there before the things arrive. In the birth,

[64:35]

the birth is receiving. Or the birth is the arrival. There is something that happens. You happen, or life happens. But what is happening is just the arrival of things that aren't that life. That life doesn't make itself happen. We think we make ourself happen. We think life makes itself happen. But life does not make itself happen. Life depends on... Each life, every life depends on things other than itself. Ordinary people have minds and bodies which create a fantasy that our life is something that makes itself happen. And that others are out there separate from us. That's our misperception. But that's the way we see things. This is an antidote to that misconception.

[65:37]

But, however, when you're tuned in to how you are receiving help, you are receiving help to be a person who, when you're tuned in to that, you have great activity. So then you act from that place. So you witness that and you act on that witnessing. So the way you relate, the way your activity comes forth when you're witnessing how you're receiving, that's enlightened activity. But when you think you already are here and then you do these things, the same action, like saying hello, if your perspective is you're here and now you're saying hello, that's delusion. But when everything comes forth and you're here and then from that birth hello arises, that's enlightened action. It's the same place, could be the same action,

[66:45]

but in one case you're not there beforehand pulling stuff in, you know, and judging. Or the judgment still could be going on, but the judgment is just part of what's arriving. So you could be sitting here saying, I'm sitting here judging you people favorably, that's going on, but actually the arrival of you plus all my judgments, I'm receiving and that's my actual life. Yes? I'm interested in the line between commitment to story and attachment to story. That is, how far in good conscience can you take a story? How deeply can you commit to a story before it becomes unspeakable? Well,

[67:51]

you want to take an example? Should I give you an example of a story one might commit to? Like I might commit to the story of I would like to live for the welfare of all beings. I might commit to that story. Okay? And unenlightened people can feel that and want to commit to that story. And it's a wonderful story. However, in order to take care of that story, that particular story, in order to take care of that story, in order to promote that story, it would be good to give that story a rest. Now, if you have another story, like I would like to be very harmful to some people, I want to be harmful, I want to hurt people,

[68:54]

then adhering to that story would promote making that story come true. So stories of harm are enhanced by attaching to them. Stories of benefit are enhanced by letting go of them. Similarly, stories of harm are not enhanced by letting them go. So if you ever think of wanting to harm someone, give that story a rest and it won't facilitate that harmful intention or that harmful story. Similarly, if you have a story of how to benefit beings, that you'd like to benefit beings, or how beings might be benefited, or you'd like to, if you hold to that story, that will not promote the realization of your dream of benefiting beings. So, good dreams

[69:56]

are promoted by non-attachment and harmed by attachment. Bad dreams are promoted by attachment and harmed by non-attachment. Or, not promoted by non-attachment. So if you really want something good to happen, give it a rest. And if you really want it to happen and you give it a rest, it will pop up again in its next appropriate version. It will be constantly re-edited, re-issued, re-expressed in a constantly changing story. The story of benefiting all beings will be fresh and new and never the same. And the story of harming beings will be fresh and new and never the same. And a story of harming beings that's fresh and new and never the same is a moving story of harming beings which won't harm beings

[70:56]

because it's moving because you're not attaching to it. So goodness is facilitated by this non-attachment and harm is neutralized. Harmful intentions, harmful stories move forward and flip and jump and free themselves from any kind of engagement in harm. And beneficial stories, when you free them from any kind of attachment, they fulfill themselves. You don't own them. You don't own them. You're not in control of them. You just, they just blossom. Like we have this expression may I exist in muddy water like with the purity like a lotus. And so in this context the idea is I would change it to may I exist in the muddy waters of my stories

[71:57]

with purity like a lotus. So my stories of benefiting beings and harming beings may I exist with the purity of a lotus in these stories so they may be blossoming in the stories. But they're muddy because they're very tempting to get stuck in, to push the bad away. Push the bad away, they get stronger. Hold on to the bad, they get stronger. Rejection and attachment enhance stories of harm. Rejection and attachment debilitate stories of benefit. But the purity of the lotus you just grow, you grow up out of these stories by giving them all rest. And the more stories the more soil for lotuses. That make sense? Easy to say, right?

[72:58]

There was two other people sort of on this line here. Yes, this man and then Susan. Yes, yes. Yes. I don't quite understand your question. Why be in the state of help? No, why do you recognize it? Why do you have that as something that comes into the thought process? It's not so much that you're getting in, again, it's not so much that you're getting into the state of help, okay?

[74:00]

It's more that you're in the state of reception. You're trying to tune in to receiving, to being aware of receiving. And being in the mode of being, basically you're starting to try to learn how to be receptive. And I say help because I'm trying to show how basically you're receiving your life. But I don't want you to actually get into your life. I don't want you to get into your life. I want you to see how there's not you and your life, but actually that when life comes forward, that's your life. But the life that over there that you take, that obscures your life. Even though it is your life, you distance yourself from it. So you said this thing about giver, receiver and gift. So these are words

[75:01]

to try to help us tune in to how the giver, receiver and gift are not separate. The life that you're given and you that gets the life and everything that gives your life are actually not separate. But rather, but we're always trying, we're always looking at the gifts. Which gift should I get? You know, I don't want that one. We're getting in, we're usually out there like messing with the gifts and having opinions about the gifts. And out there means that we think we're over here separate from out there. We think the gifts are out there. I'm trying to turn back, learn the backward step. Which turns your light back to see the place where actually the gift arriving and the person arising are the same thing. That the coming of the gift and the giving of the gift, that the gift in the giving,

[76:01]

the gift in the coming and the person who receives, they're actually one thing. But the person, part of the gift is the person's given the ability to like think the gifts are out there. And to think that some of the gifts are not gifts. And to get all worked up about this is not a gift, my friend. Get out of here. Get that, out of my face, that gift. So, I'm not really talking about trying to change the names of the gifts, but get in the mode of realizing your life arises in all the gifts that are coming, every single one of them in the moment. And this is to gradually help us not adhere to our fantasy about these gifts as being the gifts. To loosen that so we can start to see reality, and the reality is the emptiness of the separation between giver or giver, receiver, and gift. The emptiness of that,

[77:02]

when we start to see the emptiness of that separation, then we start to really wash away, not waste that vision washes away all obstruction to beneficent service. Okay? Susan? It's, yeah, it's basically the same, except it's, it's I think it's a, maybe it's a little bit more at the core. I think, thank you very much, I have no complaints whatsoever. Part starts to turn me around back to this place of where I'm born in the receiving of all things. But they're partners, they're partner instructions. Yes?

[78:15]

Again, I think that's more like an auxiliary encouragement to, I think, I feel like the instruction that I was talking about is more at the core. That those are encouragements to wake you up and protect you against flying off into, like, this is not helpful. So your mind's on the verge of or has already gotten into this doesn't look helpful. And then so maybe first aid is this, this might be helpful or how could this be helpful? That's sort of an antidote to that. But I'm taking another step back which is sort of leave the judgments out there and not try to counteract them. But if you're about to freak out and act out, as we say, in relationship to believing your story that this meter man and this truck driver are like your enemies,

[79:30]

before you really get into that and start hating them and feel like they're against you you know, say, thank you very much, I have no complaint whatsoever. Just sort of, like, stop yourself from, like, diving into enacting belief in your story that this is really a bad scene. Okay? But you may not need that. You may be able to immediately step back or you may already be in the mode of Buddha walking down the street and you still may be able to say, you still may be able to say, I'm here. Your friend has arrived. And he doesn't want you to take his car. Please leave it. And they may say, sorry Buddha, we're taking it. And you say, amazing. Grease. And they take your car

[80:32]

but they both become enlightened as they're driving up the street. And you're happy. You're happy. You did your work. It costs you quite a bit, but it's worth it. Would you be willing to spend $50 for someone to be enlightened? Okay, I see Andy and Jackie and what's your name? What's your name? Your name's Jeanette. What's your name? Huh? Barbara. Barbara. So, Jeanette, Barbara, Jackie and Andy. Who else? And Beverly. Yes? And Marioko. And what? No, you don't get a chance. Cindy? Okay. So, I don't know who goes first. I go first. Okay. Same identical thing happened to me

[81:33]

with the carving show about two weeks ago. I ran. Stop, stop, stop. They stopped and they paid my $50 ticket. I kept wanting to pay it, you know, over the phone. Yeah. And I'm like, $50 is not bad considering towing is $250. It is? Wow! Plus walking there or taking the bus or whatever. Uh-huh. Well, I paid it. And I dedicate that $50 to your enlightenment. Hey,

[82:37]

you're the city of San Francisco. So, I won't be giving any Christmas presents. I've given all my money to San Francisco. I left my money in San Francisco on top of a hill above the bay where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars. Okay, Jeanette. Oh, wow. Am I confused? Yeah. Well, you know, when you're in that muddy water? Yeah. Right. That's where we are. Okay. Muddy water. Stories, stories coming to get you. Believe this story. It's scary. It's scary. It's scary. That's one of the scariest things is to believe the stories. That's the main scare. But how do you not be... Don't be afraid of making mistakes.

[83:38]

Be afraid of believing the story of making mistakes. You're going to make mistakes. But if you know they're mistakes... I don't want to be... You don't want to be... You don't want to be something? No, I want to be aware of what is going on. But sometimes I don't want to be... I also don't want to numb myself out. Wait a second. I'm afraid. It is nice to... I'd like to be aware too, but it's kind of unrealistic to be aware of what's going on. It's a little bit unrealistic. A little unrealistic. You have to get quite enlightened to be aware of what's going on. What's going on just happens to be coded in your fantasies. So it's pretty hard to see what's going on because we slap fantasies over what's going on. However, if you can stop adhering to the fantasies which are being laminated on what's going on and see

[84:42]

how you're actually in what's going on and your fantasies are not there, then you have a chance to actually understand what's going on. Actually seeing what's going on, being aware of what's going on is very... is more advanced than just not believing in your stories of what's going on, not adhering to your stories of what's going on. So step one is to be aware of the teaching of what's going on but you can't directly see it. So part of what you become aware of is that what's going on is covered by or superimposed upon by your fantasies. Next, then you can stop believing them and then when you stop believing them you can see how they're not really applying and when you see that eventually you'll be able to see what's going on. So first thing to do is not not work so hard to see what's going on but work harder to be aware of the teachings about what's going on which you can't see.

[85:42]

Like the teachings are that everything you experience and everybody you meet is a dependent co-arising. That's the teaching which you hear but you have to also be honest is that you don't think that, you don't see that. People do not look like they're interdependent. They look like they're standing there making themselves happen. They look like they're keeping themselves going. They look like they're happening again and again by their own power. That's the way things look. The teaching says there ain't that way. But our mind projects this onto things but hear the teaching and then see I don't believe that teaching or I don't see that teaching. What I see is things do exist independently of other things. So I start to admit my delusion I'm deluded. You have to get used to that. That your mind does that. Things are interdependent and they don't look that way. And also

[86:42]

they don't look that way because our mind puts fantasies on them but the fantasies we don't think are fantasies. We think the fantasies are the things. My fantasy about you I think is you. I hear the teaching that you're not my fantasy. I listen to that teaching but I also admit but I do actually think that she is what I think she is. Courage. Courage, yeah. Courage to make mistakes constantly. Courage will be necessary. Courage to be aware that I'm making mistakes. If I'm afraid to make mistakes however I will tend to deny that I'm making mistakes and then I won't be able to learn. But you can learn from your mistakes if you're aware of them. Andy?

[87:46]

Please come up with me while you were speaking just now if I'd like to make instead of my original thing. Many years ago at this temple there was a teaching that expressed in different ways but essentially it said the accomplishing work of great peace has no special sign. Right. That teaching seems to help me wide applicability. I think even in a case like this it may have some applicability because the great peace that you might be seeking here the peace that someone might be interested in cultivating for himself actually might arise when there is no special sign about the relationship with what's arising. Rather than a repulsion to what is happening or attraction to what is happening there's no special sign

[88:47]

that arises that says I've arrived at truth I've arrived at reality I've arrived at a state of equanimity. There's no special sign about that. There is however what's going on and you're not being spun around by it. So that's an indication of how that teaching might be applied perhaps. My original point that I wanted to mention today is you said during your talk that language is a great impediment. I think you said some of the effect that language is a real problem in this whole process because we're translating or interpreting or so much interpreting these teachings into English and patterns of thinking that we customarily and immediately give rise to and they already that creates problems immediately. I sense that that's

[89:48]

what you're saying. Did you say something about that? Well but I'm also saying simultaneously actually simultaneous translation and that is that we need to use language to educate ourselves about how to you know not have language be an impediment. What arose for me when you said that was you used the term reality and I'd just like to say this because this is a word that carries baggage for me and I think some of that baggage arises because of our culture. We have a sense that we have a Western tradition of philosophy of seeking truth and we sort of equate truth with reality. So what happens what tends to happen I think is that if we set off on a path and we start describing it for example as reality we assign baggage to that concept that may impede our ability to arrive at the truth

[90:48]

that we're speaking of. I think that might be why many teachers use the term the nature of our life. We realize the true nature or self nature or something like that because it has if we just are looking for the nature that our life actually is we can actually see that this is it's nature. That's a little bit different I think than that we're arriving at reality. And to me that's been helpful and I have a story that might be helpful to somebody here to think about and consider that question. Because if we invest too much in the idea of we're seeking reality there's always you know then what's not reality? What's there's other baggage that automatically arises with that that that might impede people. So I wanted to express that

[91:49]

idea because people are too caught up in the idea that they're seeking ultimate truth rather than seeking the ultimate nature of our life. I hope that answers your question. Thank you. Let's see who is next. Maybe you. What's your name again? Barbara. Barbara. I can't get what you're saying at all about receiving. I haven't felt this humbled and this loss. I've just been given this loss. I'm really

[92:53]

feeling like there's a wanting sense in me and I can't feel that. So there even is a path to an idea in which to try to understand what you're saying. Well it seems good that you can express that you feel some kind of like I don't know is it almost like a desire to get a hold of something? Do you feel that? Well it may

[93:57]

be that what occurs to me is it may be that this sense of not being able to get to the first step or put it the other way if you could take the first step it would probably be moving away from the place I'm describing. The place I'm describing is sort of where you let go of your story and one of the best stories you could have would be a story of how you're getting something. So this feeling of I can't even make the first step is kind of what it's like when you're in this place is that you cannot even make a first step and yet if you can if I can be in this

[95:00]

place where I can't even or haven't even I can't because I haven't taken the first step I'm getting close to the place where I will where I will be aware of how I'm receiving help to take the first step but it sounds like you're still a little bit wanting to get back to the place where you could take the first step where you could do the practice Well you're the way you're I think the way I feel is that it's take it's you haven't been able to get back to your usual approach that somehow you've really heard

[96:01]

what I said in such a way that you can't convert what I said into your usual thing and you're thinking that pretty soon I'll be able to but when you do you will have lost this gift you probably are more in the place

[96:18]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ