First of all, you are welcome. And last of all, you are welcome. In between, we make our efforts in practice. We just chanted this vow written by Dogen Zenji. This is an expression of his vow. I don't know if you're ready to accept and identify with that vow which you just read. It's not only a vow, but it also is a pretty complete teaching. I'd like to begin by asking you to consider what is your vow?

[01:10]

What is your life vow? What is your motivation for entering this meditation hall for one week retreat? The vow which we just chanted, in my view, is a wonderful vow. But I respect you all and if you have a different vow, you're welcome too. But I do ask you to consider, to look into yourself and try to find out what is your vow?

[02:22]

What is the deepest request that your life is making? Can you hear this call from your deepest truth in your heart? This vow may be for some of you, may be for all of you, beyond words, far beyond words.

[03:23]

And yet, perhaps, some words can be spoken which do not violate this vow. whether you can find the vow or not, whether you know your motivation or not, still, please take this motivation with you into every period of meditation. Every time you sit down, sit with that vow. Every time you stand up, stand up with that vow. Every step you take, walk with that vow, your vow.

[04:27]

Although this vow can be expressed in an infinite number of ways, in an infinite number of languages, for some Zen practitioners we call this vow Buddha. We call this the vow to awaken, the vow to be awake, the vow to stay close to awakening. to stay close to awakening and with all awakening beings to stay close, to walk together in order to help all living beings eventually do the same and thus free everyone from the attachments which cause suffering

[06:02]

from the selfishness which is the basis of cruelty and war. Right now all over the world, people who are attached to their own limited views of what they are, are being cruel to other people. They may even be cruel to us. A vow can be like in the midst of all this, we still intend deeply to stay close to awakening.

[07:27]

Even though we don't know what it is, even though it's far too mysterious and vast for anyone to grasp, still we vow to stay close to it. because that's our greatest joy, our greatest encouragement, our greatest energy to work to benefit others, which in turn is again our greatest joy. So before we enter into a Zen meditation retreat, before we enter into the ocean of Zen, the gate is to receive the precepts. And again, I don't, I offer this to you, but I don't force you to receive.

[08:32]

I'm just saying that in order to actually enter into the real practice of sitting, we must receive the precepts. And receiving them in their ethical dimension, in their dimension of behavior and conduct, the first precept is Buddha. If we want to sit in the Zen style, then before we sit, we take the precept of awakening into our heart. And again, there's no limit. There's no sign by which you can see what Buddha is.

[09:36]

You take into your heart a signless truth a truth which cannot be recognized by any mark. Take into yourself the jewel of awakening and sit. You inscribe Buddha in your whole body and mind. you seal your whole body and mind with awakening, and then sit, and then stand, and then walk, and everything else throughout the day. We don't talk so much during Sashin, but every word is also to be sealed, certified by the Buddha jewel. And every thought also has inscribed on it the signless awakening.

[10:51]

Precept means written before. What do you write on your practice before you enter it? First thing you write, Buddha. Buddha. which is simply being concerned for the welfare of others. That's what Buddhas are concerned with. The next precept is the Dharma jewel. Dharma is basically the same as Buddha, it's just the essence of Buddha. Buddha is many things. infinite things. Buddha is all living beings. But the essence of all living beings is the Dharma. The facet of the jewel of all living beings, which is teaching, which is the pure liberating truth of each being, that is the Dharma.

[12:05]

That's the second precept which you receive. The third precept is the Sangha. In one sense it's all the people sitting in this room practicing together, all the people who are receiving. the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha is the Sangha. Some people might say all living beings are the Sangha. I don't disagree, but within all beings, within all the living beings, there is a subgroup of people who willingly accept the precepts of Buddha, Dharma, Sangha.

[13:14]

who receive them and maintain them. Because you may receive them at this moment, but then everything changes. So you either need to receive them again or discover them again. So moment by moment, these precepts must be maintained in our interactions throughout our daily life, we must find them again and again. Every moment find Buddha again and sit. Every moment find Dharma again and sit. Every moment again remember this is the Sangha here. These are jewels. These are treasures. Remember that again and again. Each person you meet is a great treasure. which you deeply respect.

[14:20]

So during Sesshin, we even take time to stop and bow to each other, remembering at that occasion awakening, the essence and purity of awakening, and the living beings who practice awakening. The lights just went out, but the tape's still going. And the altar's still lit. But sometimes the altar becomes unlit.

[15:22]

Flame becomes snuffed out, and we need to light it again. And then again, the wind blows the light out. The flame of the lamp is extinguished, and each of us have to light it again. We can't light it all by ourself either. That's why we practice in a Sangha. Everyone helps us, everyone assists us. And at the same time, no one will do it for you. Almost none of us could sit this Sashin without the help of everyone else. And yet no one can sit it for you. So first of all, before we enter the Zen ocean, we receive and vow to maintain and rediscover the Triple Treasure.

[16:33]

And so today, my intention of talking is to give a teaching about the Buddha. I can say, each one of you and everything else is Buddha. But that may be not much help. So I select perhaps more essential comments to guide us into what it means by Buddha. And a story that pops up to assist us this morning is a story of one of our ancestors, one of our ancient pioneers, whose name is Yaoshan Weiyun.

[17:53]

In the morning we chant his name, Yakusan Igen Dayosho, the Japanese way of saying Yaoshan, Yakusan, Igen, Weiyin. He's the 36th pioneer in our lineage from Buddha. One day he went to visit another one of our ancestors whose name is Shurto, Sekito, who wrote the chant we do in the morning, The Merging of Difference and Unity. He wants to visit Sekito, Shurto. And he said, studied a little bit about the canonical teachings of Buddhism.

[18:57]

I know something about the twelve divisions of the three vehicles. But I've heard that there's these Zen people down in the south of China who directly point to the human mind, see its essence, and become Buddha. Could you please tell me something about this, teacher? Being just so won't do. Not being just so won't do either.

[20:04]

Being just so and not being just so won't do at all. How about you? This is Dharma about Buddha. This is Buddha Dharma. Instructions from a Zen student on how to directly see the essence of your mind and become Buddha. useless instruction, but still authentic. You want to see the source and essence of your mind? Being just so won't do.

[21:15]

Not being just so won't do either. Being neither won't do at all. How about you? Really, it's how about you? You want to know about the human mind? You want to become Buddha? How about you? How about yourself? And by the way, when you look at yourself to check it out and find out what Buddha is, Just being so won't do. Not being just so, mm-mm. Both, no. Again, how about you with no props? That's why I ask you to look to see what your motivation is.

[22:23]

How about you? To study the Buddha way, to realize the Buddha way, means to look and see who you are without any limitation on that search. When this Zen monk, Yaoshan, was asked, how about you, he was speechless. He couldn't say anything. And his teacher, Sekito, said something like, the conditions aren't here.

[23:26]

In other words, This isn't the right situation for you to learn. Just like maybe for you right now when I said that, maybe these weren't the right words for you. I think they're pretty good, but maybe not for you. So he said, go see Master Ma, the great Master Ma. In those days, great Zen teachers had other great Zen teachers around walking distance. And in those days, everything was walking distance. So he started walking and every step of the way I think he said Buddha to himself. So he Buddha'd himself for some hundreds of miles and found the great Master Ma and told Master Ma about this and Master Ma said,

[24:34]

Sometimes I make him raise his eyebrows. You can say her, too, if you want. Anyway, who is this him that's being made to raise his eyebrows? Who is this her who's being made to raise her eyebrows? I'll tell you. It's who you really are. It's the true you. Anyway, sometimes Matsu makes him raise his eyebrows. Sometimes I don't make him raise his eyebrows and blink. Sometimes I make him raise his eyebrows and blink.

[25:45]

Sometimes I don't make him raise his eyebrows and blink. Sometimes raising the eyebrows and blinking is okay. Sometimes not raising the eyebrows and blinking is not okay. How about you? At this time, Yaoshan was awakened greatly. And he bowed to the teacher. And the teacher said, Matsu said, what truth have you seen that makes you bow? And Yaoshan said, when I was with Shirtou, It was like a mosquito mounting an iron bull. Mahadzu said, since you are so, you must guard it well.

[26:57]

But still, Sekito is your teacher. Somebody's saying to you, how about you? Some days when you hear that question, it's like a mosquito trying to get up onto an iron bull. Kind of hard. You can't even get the slightest foothold. Your powers of penetration are blunted on the thick hide And then you go see somebody else, and it works. Great. But still, back where you couldn't do anything, that was your teacher. To study the Buddha way is to study the, oh, how boring, self.

[28:31]

Don't you have anything more interesting to study here? We do, actually. But that's just sort of, what do you call it, what we call yellow paper given to children. In China, sometimes when children cried, they would give them yellow paper, which the children would think it was gold, that they could go buy some bubble gum with it. So Buddhist teachers, if children are crying, they give them yellow paper, something that will stop them from crying. But the real gold is yourself, the thing which you need to completely become. We cry because we don't want to do that. We want to become something else. Well, okay, let me know. We'll give you something else. But I'm starting off by telling you the straight medicine, which is, please, how about you?

[29:41]

What is the self? And to study the self means actually that you forget the self, which you first start looking for. When you first look for yourself, the thing you think is yourself, that's fine, you start there. But as you study it more, pretty soon you'll forget that one. I don't know, pretty soon, pretty soon. And when you forget the self, then you understand what we mean by the self. Who you really are is somebody who forgot herself. Then you understand. But before you can let go of yourself, usually you need to connect again. Oftentimes before we can let something go, we need to connect again with it. If you try to let go of it now without fully connecting, you'll just be kidding yourself.

[30:46]

Again, this is not attractive work to connect with the Self. But if you can completely connect with the Self, you will be able to forget the Self. And forgetting the Self is understanding the Self. And understanding the Self is Buddha. I heard this story recently about Marlon Brando. When I was a kid, I took the precept of Marlon Brando. Anyway, when he was a young man in acting school, they had an exercise which they were

[32:01]

to pretend as though the people in the class were a bunch of chickens in a chicken coop, were being informed that an atomic bomb will be set off fairly near to the chicken coop. Somehow these chickens could understand that, and they're asked to act out to express how they would behave if they heard that news. I won't ask you to do what you would do. I'll just tell you what happened." Anyway, almost everyone in the class started acting like they thought a chicken would act and most of them were running around the room hysterically. But Marlon just sat on his perch as though he were laying an egg.

[33:12]

He dared stillness, dared to be himself. Now we will sit and sit and sit and breathe and sit and breathe and think and sit and breathe and think. And I'm suggesting that you

[34:42]

Use your imagination to imagine that you don't have much imagination. Imagine that you were so unimaginative that all you could think of doing was being yourself, that you were no smarter than that. Moment by moment, no imagination, just sitting still, completely unmovable. At the same time, very adaptive, very flexible, because each moment you're able to again be so stupid as to think of nothing but being yourself. It takes a great deal of flexibility to not get rigid and get smarter than that, to hold on to some good idea, to hold on to some helpful thing, rather than just in each moment be flexible enough, be ready enough to catch who you are.

[36:09]

until you've caught it so completely and you've connected so completely that you forget it. But the forgetting is a gift. You don't do the forgetting. The forgetting is a gift that comes to those who are willing to be themselves. And that's why I ask you what your motivation is, because if your motivation is to be Buddha, then that will help you do the very difficult work of being still and stupid, still, settling right down on yourself, moment after moment, to have the courage to be completely still. And then everything changes, and again to have the courage to be still again, trusting that really you're good enough to be Buddha, that the basis of your awakening is never anyplace else but here and now, just as you are.

[37:25]

And we practice in a sangha, with other people, we receive that jewel because we can even start dreaming that we're really just sitting, being ourselves. But practicing with others stimulates us and causes us to adjust to see if we can be the new person we are when we meet another face. Faces meet faces to help faces become faces. So I just, just do it and

[38:38]

Patience is to again and again accept completely this situation, including that you somehow can't let yourself do accepting the situation. that sometimes the situation we have to settle into and what's really happening is that we're resisting being here. So we accept that we're resisting being here. And now, on the first day, there's probably a lot of resistance to accepting being here. So little by little, we let ourselves down, down, down into being here. And it's okay with me if we do it completely today and then enjoy it the rest of the week.

[39:49]

But it may take us several days before we are able to arrive here. That's the way it is sometimes. But sometimes people just decide to arrive right away on the first day. So please connect with yourself. Connect completely with your body, with your breath, with your mind. Connect completely with your life. And then you can let it go. Being just so won't do.

[40:53]

Not being just so won't do either. Being just so and not being just so won't do at all. How about you? For the sake of all sentient beings, in order to bring benefit to all beings, I vow to find out who I am, what I am. With the encouragement of the teaching that what I really am, that what a living being really is, is precisely what we mean by Buddha. So I'm going to try to be a living being who is just a living being.

[42:03]

And it's hard work, but because I want to help all beings, I'm going to do this hard work. And because I want to help all beings, and I'm doing this for their benefit, they will help me. Together we can do it. Somehow we can do it. We don't know how it's going to be.

[42:29]

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