Since I'm here, and you're here, I thought maybe I would talk to you. And I'm not sure, talking to you, what your interest is today. how you want to live this day. I can imagine that some of you might just like a quiet day in a peaceful valley. But I wonder, you know, what your motivation is to be sitting here today.

[01:18]

Would anyone care to tell me? To explore happiness? Yes? To feel, to experience the rise and fall of your abdomen? To let go of waiting for something? What about the taste of Zen? To get back the taste of Zen. To save all beings.

[02:31]

To save all beings. To practice suchness without delay. To not exclude anything. Could you say it louder, please? To find clarity and quietness. To be with whatever it is. To find what on earth it is I think I'm doing. To actually be present sitting here. To see if I can learn to be still.

[03:41]

Come back to myself. To feel settled. Would you please say that again? To learn the zazen of making beds.

[04:51]

To hear the birds chirping. I'd like to give up everything, even for an instant. I'd like to give up everything, even for an instant. Listening to what you've said, I feel harmony among all that I've heard. more could be said.

[07:17]

And if it were said, we might or might not be able to continue to hear harmony. I tell a story that there was once a child of the Shakya clan who woke up very deeply and when he woke up he said that all living beings fully possess the wisdom and virtues of the Buddhas.

[08:18]

All living beings together realize the way at the same time with the great earth. All beings are in harmony, in fact. However, they don't necessarily understand this. Therefore, the Buddha provided the Buddha and all the Buddhas and all the disciples of the Buddha provide a truly effective path to realize the awake and happy harmonious quality of all beings and in this house

[09:45]

We sometimes speak of this way as sitting upright in the midst of a self-fulfilling awareness. as the true path of awakening. Sitting upright, as some of you spoke towards or about, can be said as being present with what's happening. And being completely present with things just as they are means giving up everything and not expecting anything.

[11:07]

If there's the slightest bit of holding, or expectation, or not just being upright with what's happening. Human beings have the ability to let go of everything, which is the same as the ability to do something completely. We can do something completely. in fact that is what Buddha sees us doing Buddha sees our abdomen rising when it's rising and descending when it's descending and in every moment of its arising it never is ahead of itself or behind itself in every moment of its descending it is always just as it is

[12:15]

it never misses its place at all. This is an unavoidable gift of the moment. Whatever you're feeling, whatever you're thinking, whatever sensation you're experiencing, it is such. And being upright means simply being with yourself as such. And it simply means giving up everything else by what's happening. This is being upright. All Buddhas have used this uprightness.

[13:21]

And we speak of sitting upright or upright sitting, but this uprightness has nothing to do with sitting or lying down. It can be practiced while making beds. It can be practiced while sitting in this room. It can be practiced in the formal way of today. But when this sitting concludes in the evening, the practice can go on through the night in whatever position you're in. If you can be completely present... And if you can be completely present, that is the gate to the awareness of the Buddhas, which is called self-fulfilling awareness, or the samadhi of the self, as it receives its function.

[14:40]

When the Buddha woke up, the Buddha saw a self receiving its license to be. The Buddha witnessed the self that is born in the advent of all things. And witnessing the self, practicing this samadhi of self in the advent of all things, the Buddha could act from the self which is born in the advent of all things and the Buddha spoke and the Buddha said wonderful now I see all beings are perfectly interconnected and fully possess the wisdom and virtues of the Buddhas

[15:51]

What did you chant in morning service today? So I want to mention that the practice that we do here in this hall, in those little organized periods of meditation, which last 30 minutes or 40 minutes, where we sit in the cushion and face the wall

[17:18]

to keep our eyes open and our tongue on the roof of our mouth and not leaning forward or backwards, right or left, with our hands in the cosmic concentration mudra. That form that we adopt for these periods of meditation is a ceremony, it is a ritual, it is a traditional, established, customary way of conducting religious practice. And as I've been pointing out recently, the Chinese character for ceremony, for this ceremony of sitting cross-legged, it has within it two parts.

[18:37]

One part is another Chinese, it has two parts, each of which are Chinese characters. One part is a character for meaning. And the other part is a character for person. Put them together and they mean ceremony or ritual. And you didn't chant this morning the Fukan Za Zen Gi. But that instruction on meditation means the ceremony for the universal encouragement of zazen. It's a ceremony. And it describes the ceremony that you do to practice zazen, which is basically our zazen instruction that we usually give here.

[19:42]

And in the Jewel Mir Samadhi, which you unfortunately didn't chant today, it says, the meaning is not in the words, but it, the meaning, responds to the inquiring impulse. Or literally, the meaning responds to the arrival of energy or opportunity. And this could be rephrased as the meaning is not in the ceremony, but it responds to the arrival of the opportunity that the ceremony provides. When you sit cross-legged, when you stand upright, when you walk with presence,

[20:56]

not ahead of yourself, not behind yourself, not trying to get anything out of it, not carrying anything with you, just walking in this room or in the outdoors. When you walk in that way, the meaning is not in your walking. When you sit in that way, the meaning is not in your sitting. When you speak the Buddhist teaching, traditional or your own, the meaning is not in your words. but it responds to the arrival of the energy when you give your life to where you are the meaning is not in what you're doing but the fact of you doing whatever you're doing all day long whatever you're doing you bring you arrive

[21:59]

And the meaning responds to that. If you're there, if you're present, there is a response to you, to your effort. The meaning isn't in the response, the meaning isn't in your effort. But if you make effort and you're with the effort that you make, Not more effort than you make, not less effort than you make, but the effort that you make, if you're there with it, which you are, there is a response to that. At the exact same moment that you make that effort, there is a response. All things come and meet you there. if you can be present with what you're doing with what you think with what you say with what you do with your body if you can be present you are present with your effort the meaning is not in your presence the meaning is not in your effort but if you're present you can see that your effort is met and that awareness

[23:30]

is the self-fulfilling samadhi which is the path of all Buddhas. But to witness and realize this awareness we have to be willing to be present it's going on all the time but since we have difficulty being present with what it's like to be this person we do not realize it Buddha sees us present and fully possessing this self-fulfilling and self-liberating awareness but Buddha sees that we don't appreciate it because we're unwilling to be present

[24:33]

or we're willing to be present if we get something for it but neither of those are present Buddha sees that in our actual presence we are completely the Buddha nature and in our absence we are completely absent and completely do not understand And if we can be completely present with our lack of understanding, that's exactly the same as Buddha. When you're Buddha you realize you have nothing.

[25:39]

When you're not Buddha, you think you have something. And whatever you have can only be one thing, basically. Delusion and confusion. That's the reason why we don't want to be present and see what we have. We like to keep away from what we have because all we have is delusion. And if we keep little ways away from what we have and just assume we have something, we can say it's whatever we want it to be. As a matter of fact, we usually say, although we hesitate to admit it, that it's the truth. Now, there's some things that we think we have which we think are delusion.

[26:46]

And we're right that those things that we have that we think are delusion, they are delusion. But we're not deluded about that. We're correct about that. There's other things which we have which we think are true. And those are also delusions. But the difference is, in that case, that we're deluded about delusion rather than just recognizing our delusions Buddha was a human who finally stopped being a chicken Most humans have a dual quality. One is that they're human and the other is that they're chickens. Most humans are afraid to be human.

[27:51]

Therefore, they're trapped in their humanness. Being upright is a courageous statement of faith. Not that you're human, because most people will admit that but very few people will admit it and then actually accept it and take responsibility for it being upright you accept that you're human and take responsibility for being human And when you do, you enter, that is the gate, to the awareness of where your humanness, of where your self, your human self, gets fulfilled.

[28:55]

Buddha was a human who was willing to have the full experience of being a human. Very few humans are willing to fully experience what it's like to be a human. In order to fully experience what it's like to be a human, you have to give up everything At least for a moment. Is that what you said? Turns out when you give up everything, what you get is yourself. 100%. It isn't that you give up everything and you get rid of your humanness. You give up everything and you get your humanness fully. Holding on to things is a human activity, well known among humans.

[30:09]

But by holding on to things, we don't feel what it's like to be human. To let go of everything is to feel and to fully experience, which includes if you can fully experience what it's like to hold on. That's another way to let go is to fully experience what it's like to grip yourself and to be self-concerned and self-indulgent and self-important and so on. But who wants to feel that she's self-important, self-indulgent, self-attached? She may be willing to admit somebody else is, but doesn't have time to notice that she is. And if she did have time, what a disgusting thing to contemplate. It's a terrible thing, right?

[31:12]

So who would want to look at it? Well, I'll tell you who. The Buddha looks at it. The Buddha looked at the fact that he was at one ashamed guy. Ashamed of his selfishness and self-concern. He was embarrassed. He was anxious about it. He was worried about what happened to him. Can you believe it? Well, he accepted that. And when you accept fully and experience fully what it's like to have a human body and mind and voice. When you accept that fully, that is the gate to an awareness which will fulfill yourself and will release you from human bondage. If we start to experience what it's like and we start opening up to what an experience of a human being is, if we start to actually come home to where we are, it gets intense.

[32:40]

And the more you accept the intensity, the more intense it gets, up to a point. And it turns out that, as Aristotle said, we are social beings. And once you come back and be yourself, then you're ready to actually go meet somebody else and feel what it's like to be yourself with somebody else. And when it gets really intense, basically, we have trouble just simply feeling what it's like to be here. With all that can happen here for this person. So then we have various means for distracting ourselves and making what's happening into something that we can manipulate, hold on to, or push away.

[33:53]

And in that way, we calm down the intensity. But really what we do is, we don't really calm it, we stifle the experience of the moment. which means we do not fully experience what it's like to be ourselves which means the door to the awakening of our true liberated being is blocked not because anybody's closing the door but because we do not want to be ourselves. Our unwillingness to be ourselves, our unwillingness to experience what's happening is what blocks the door to the mind of awakening. So today provides an opportunity for all the things which I heard mentioned, all your motivations or interests today.

[36:03]

It seems like today offers you an opportunity for every one of them. And I'm, in a sense, just not exactly adding something to your list, but just maybe amplifying something, amplifying what's involved in what you brought up. And that is, by being present here today and slowing down enough to follow this schedule, you may be able to open up to a fuller experience through trying to be present, through being present, not even trying to be present, but by being present, you may be able to dare, your body and mind may dare to open up to more of what it's like

[37:21]

more and more of what it's like, more and more of how it is to be you, to be a self. You may be able to open up to how confused and deluded a human being is. you may be able to open up to seeing that maybe I should put it this way if I were to do this I might be able to open up to see that I think that I have an independent existence from other people I might be able to see that

[38:27]

Now, you've heard, and some people also believe, that really we are not independent of each other, that we're interdependent, right? That's the Buddhist teaching, we're all interdependent. But if you can sit still and be present, you might be able to, I might be able to see that I don't believe that teaching really. I've heard it and it sounds good, but I don't really believe it. What I really believe is the opposite of Buddha's teaching. That's what I believe. And that's pretty embarrassing to be a disciple of Buddha and not believe Buddha's teaching. But the Buddha was a disciple of Buddha, and the Buddha didn't believe Buddha's teaching either. He had a hard time. He was embarrassed about it, but he did not believe Buddha's teaching until he actually saw it. The Buddha thought he was independent of other people.

[39:39]

He thought he was an independent, separate being. And he suffered and was embarrassed about that vision. If we can be present, we can see that we also actually believe something which is the opposite of interconnectedness. But many Buddhists will not admit that they think that we're not interconnected. They pound the table. They pound their heart and say, I am interconnected. I am interconnected. I am interconnected. Well, that's okay. And if you keep doing that enough, you may actually come to believe it. But in the meantime, it would be good to be interconnectedly honest and admit that you don't yet believe it. But not by forcing yourself and saying, believe it, believe it, believe it, admit it, admit it, admit it. Don't coerce yourself into a public or private confession of your disbelief of the teaching of interdependence just be quiet and present and it will come right up in your face and will say hello guess what you believe guess who's selfish right around here guess who number one really is it will just be revealed to you

[40:57]

and that will fulfill you when you start to understand that you're selfish if we really understand how selfish we are we will become liberated from selfishness but if we don't accept our selfishness we will always be a slave of it most people do not accept that they're selfish And they can't accept they're selfish because they've never seen any sign of it. Most people have hardly even taken a peek at how selfish they are. Human beings are 100, 100, not 101 or 106, but 100 exactly, 100% selfish. We don't go down to 96 or 22 or zero. we don't go over it we're exactly hundred percent now sometimes we just sort of for fun for self-protection and self-interest we inflate it to two hundred or eight hundred percent really that huge inflation just based on one hundred percent and sometimes we deflated usually we deflated because

[42:13]

Other people tell us we're not supposed to be selfish. So we say, okay, I'm not. I'm only like, you know, 2% selfish. I'll even go down to zero if you want me to. Just don't hit me again. Anything to protect the self will do. That's all we care about. Very few people admit that. Some people, like I said, will overdo it, and most people underdo it, but very few people will admit exactly, precisely the way that they're selfish. Buddha did. Buddha confessed exactly. He saw exactly how selfish he was, and he admitted that, and he expressed that, and he became free of it. Because once he saw how selfish he was, he saw exactly how he was interconnected. We're all the same in that way. We're all selfish little humans.

[43:13]

None of us are any better or worse than another. And not only that, but by that very means, we are not independent. But it's the independent, selfish people that are all interdependent. It's not the unselfish, interdependent beings that are interdependent. but who wants to face this? Well, nobody wants to face this, and to try to face it wouldn't be right. That's why we have this practice, this wonderful practice of just being present, because if you're just present, this will come into your face, and then you have a chance to stay present when it is revealed, rather than running away and saying, oops, Zen is the wrong practice. I'm going to another school where I won't see how selfish I am, where I can keep thinking that I'm better than somebody at least. So get me out of being present here. I wanted to be present and calm and happy.

[44:15]

I didn't want to be present and agitated and anxious and miserable and selfish and hateful and confused and deluded. I didn't want that. That wasn't what I signed up for. I had some other agendas. All the agendas you brought up are fine because if you practice them, they'll all take you to this place you don't want to go. I mean, you actually don't want to go to this place. That's why we don't go there. But you need to understand before you get there that when you get there, although you didn't want to go, this is actually the right place. Can you believe it? This is actually the right place. This place right now. And if you can stay this way, you're going to get more places that are actually the right place to lose. You got to get to the place where you have nothing left to lose. And that just happens to be right here, right now.

[45:16]

Isn't it coincidence? Isn't it wonderful? It's a marvelous practice that the Buddhas have called being here and getting it delivered to you and deal with it. But deal with it, it doesn't, don't, just stay present. And you will be fulfilled. You will see yourself getting its function. I'm not kidding. This is called the practice of suchness. You can do it without delay. You don't have to wait till, you know, after lunch to do this practice. You can do it right now. This is how to practice zazen while you're changing diapers or making beds or crying or scared or whatever.

[46:21]

This is the practice of suchness that I'm talking about. And also the meaning is not in my words. It's not in those words. But the meaning comes to meet, comes to meet this energy's arrival. The meaning is here in the meeting. And if you're here, And you're here, and you're here. It's not in your being here, but it is in response. It comes to meet you. You know... Oh, it's just so great. Anyway... There is a Buddhist teaching that all we have is this humanness that's all we've got. We don't have some Buddhahood on top of the humanness.

[47:23]

It's not like we have humanness and Buddhahood, humanness and enlightened nature, humanness and freedom. That's not the way they said it. We are exactly that. Human beings are non-dual with Buddhas. They are the same thing. These deluded human beings are non-dual with Buddhas. And the Buddha realized Buddhahood through being a human being. To be upright, to sit upright, is being a human being and that is the gate to Buddha's mind. Is that clear? At least is that clear that what I said? Have any questions or comments? When you totally let everything go, you don't care anymore about whether you know or not.

[48:38]

You're free of that concern. You're a success. Is it possible to be deluded about what? If you think you've let everything go, you're still holding on to that thought. When you actually let everything go, the thought, I've let everything go, is like the bird chirping in the trees or like a frog croaking upside down in the sky. If you don't think you've let go, you're right. If you do think you let go, you're wrong. If you let go, you can think anything you want, including I let go or I didn't let go. But you don't believe it anymore. You know it's just human delusion. Like I'm a good Zen student, or I'm a lousy Zen student. Those are both, you know, just delusions. And that also applies to you.

[49:43]

But human beings keep generating such delusions like, I'm a good Zen student, I'm a medium Zen student, or I'm a lousy Zen student. Human beings think those thoughts, that's all we've got, and they're just delusions. That's all they are, they never were anymore. And it's embarrassing to be thinking like that. It's embarrassing to think you're a good Zen student, right? Any of you think you're a good Zen student? Nobody admits it, huh? Does anybody think they're average Zen student? Huh? You do? Hey, that's not so embarrassing, right? A little embarrassing, though, isn't it, to be average Zen student? And does anybody think they're a lousy Zen student? Yeah, well, see, that's really safe, socially speaking, but it's also kind of embarrassing, right? Hmm? I don't answer why questions. How about you? I know, but you can answer your own. If you want to. I don't do that. Do you want to? Come on.

[50:50]

Somebody has to do it. You're not? Are you embarrassed about being a bad sense student? Did you raise your hand for that category? And you're not embarrassed about it? Well, what are you embarrassed about? that I'm now on the spot in front of everybody else and I wish I won. Well, that's pretty good that you've got something to be embarrassed about there. That's good. And if you can feel that If you can actually be that person that's being upright for you at this moment.

[52:02]

I say that. And I think that's what Buddha would do if Buddha were in your spot. I think that's what Buddha is doing at your spot right now. Is muscle pain a delusion? Is muscle pain a delusion? No. But the idea that muscle pain is muscle pain is delusion. And the belief in the reality of muscle pain is a delusion. To say, you know, this is muscle pain and to believe that That's a delusion. But the experience, the actual sensation of muscle pain is not a delusion. It is an opportunity to wake up. And the first step to waking up is to admit that we have deluded ideas about muscle pain. And then we think, it is this, it's not that. It is pain, it's not pleasure. To get heavy about that and say, it really is pain and it really isn't pleasure, and to think that's true,

[53:15]

To say, well, it is true, rather than I'm just talking now and my mind is now judging this experience. To say it's true, that's delusion. But the sensation, the pulsing, the heat, the stimulation of your body, that's not a delusion, that's life. But to categorize it as pain and to say that that's pain and it's not pleasure, that's delusion. You're just thinking about it and you're just categorizing it. You sometimes probably have the experience of saying, this is pain, and then suddenly the same experience is, boom, it's pleasure. Same experience. You just change the words. This is an argument. Suddenly it switches, boom. It's not an argument. It's the belief that this is an argument and is not not an argument, that this is disharmony and it's not harmony, or this is harmony, and this is harmony and you better agree it's harmony and you better do what's necessary for this.

[54:21]

That's delusion. But just a feeling of, hmm, this is pleasant, you know, or not even this is pleasant, but this is stimulation. But to say it's pleasant and then believe it and say it's true, that's delusion. To have an experience and hold it and put it in a category and then hold it there again, that disturbs our life and causes us pain. But to be present with it, then if you're present with it, then you see, oh, I believe this is what I think it is. I believe the words I'm saying about this. And you notice what turbulence that causes. And to be present with that again, gradually you start to reveal to yourself how deluded you are. And when you can see that clearly, you drop it. and then you have whatever sensations you have free of the language you apply to it even though you continue to apply language to it moment by moment so many Zen students have the experience of they're in pain and suddenly they're not and it's exactly precisely the same sensation

[55:24]

And they feel this thing for hour after hour, and suddenly they see the word just drops away. The word pain drops away. Even though it's the same feeling and the same word could be applied, they see that it's just a word. And of course it's a big relief when they suddenly see that the whole world then drops away with it. Like we have enemies, right? If you believe, you know, you have a feeling somebody is your enemy, and then you believe that's true, and then you have a war. Because they really are your enemy. And people say, well, yeah, that's true, and we do have to have wars. Uh-huh, right. Really is true. Human beings do see reality after all. And the funny thing is, when do we see it? We see it most clearly when we're in the middle of a fight. That's when we're most sure.

[56:27]

that we're right is in the middle of a fight. Funny that when we're not so sure that we're right, we don't tend to fight so much. We actually think, I'm not sure, I might be, who knows, I might not actually be right. Perhaps you're right. Perhaps your opinion, which I disagree with, might be more right than mine. Or maybe yours isn't right either, but maybe mine isn't either. Maybe we both have something to offer to this conversation rather than, you are wrong and I am right, and therefore I must fight. How could it switch? If what I think is reality, how can I switch to the other person's position, which is different? It's kind of like I'm done for, right? That's delusion. And that's what most people walk around with all day is what they think is right. Rather than walking around with an awareness of confusion, it's uncomfortable to open up to confusion. It's uncomfortable to open up to the anxiety around our confusion.

[57:28]

So we switch over to I'm sure I'm right and anger. It's easier to deal with. Right? So this sensation, okay, call it pain, put it in a box and fight it. or run away from it, rather than feel it. Suffer means not just pain, but suffer means to experience. One time when I was a kid, I was playing with some boys, I was eight, and I was playing with some boys, no, I was just about eight, and 87, and I was playing with some boys, and we were playing a game, and some girls were watching us nearby, and I noticed this one girl was watching, and every time I caught her eye, she stuck her tongue out at me, or every time she caught my eye, she stuck her tongue out, and she did that several times.

[58:30]

And I guess I thought, well, this is not good. She's teasing me. She's making fun of me. She's belittling me by this. What does tongue sticking out mean, anyway, when you stick your tongue out? Does that mean you're a jerk or you're a weirdo? What does that mean when you stick your tongue out of somebody? What does that mean, though? You're taunting, but do you want the person to fight you or chase you, or what do you want to do? Anyway, for some reason or other, I got angry at her and ran after her. And she got up and ran away. And I ran after her and she ran away and I ran after her and she ran away and she ran a long way. And finally I caught up with her, with my superior speed. And I caught up to her and I grabbed her and I threw her on the ground in a cornfield and sat in her chest and I was about ready to punch her in the face I looked at that face and I was going to punch that face.

[59:37]

Bad little boy, punishing, teasing girl. But I kissed her and said... And she seemed very happy about that. I don't know if it was because it was much better than getting punched or what, but anyway. So then we were lovers, little lovers, for months until I moved to another neighborhood. You know, lovers, what seven-year-old kids can do, anyway. What happened there, you know? My delusions switched from one kind to another. She wasn't really my enemy after all, or in the beginning, or where. I don't know what was going on, but anyway, what happened? What is reality? Well, for starters, reality is that we're deluded. That's for starters.

[60:39]

And so you still have sensations and we still say pain, pleasure, blah, blah. That's okay. But, you know, if you are present, you can see that it's delusion. It's just your opinion. Sensation is just sensation. It's not... reality but we say so and then it becomes not just sensation but becomes the source or the base upon which we created delusion rather than something we wonder about what is it what is this what is happening The wondrous method of the Buddhist ancestors is to be upright, is to be present with what's happening.

[61:57]

And that will open you up to this realm. And I'm just warning you ahead of time that if this realm looks unattractive or delusions start to manifest, that doesn't mean something wrong is happening, it actually means you're entering, you're becoming more awake. you're becoming more awake the more you're aware of your delusions and the way to become aware of your delusions is just be present you don't have to go look for them they'll come and show themselves to you experiences suffering If being awake entails suffering, did you say? And all this... If being awake... It's not so much that being awake... If being awake entails suffering and confusion, how can you ever be happy?

[63:04]

Is that your question? If being awake involves being upright in the midst of suffering, confusion, anything else you want to add? Yeah. If being awake entails being present and upright in the midst of confusion, suffering, and all the things you've been running away from, if it involves that, how can you ever be happy? Okay? Being awake is actually to be awake about suffering, what you've been running away from, and confusion. It is to understand that very phenomenon. When you understand what you've been running away from, when we understand what we've been running away from all our life, we'll find out that that is our lover.

[64:08]

when you are present with your anxiety and your fear and you understand them you will be inconceivably blissful you will feel inconceivable love and interconnectedness with all beings But if we shrink back from our simple, ordinary, daily version of confusion and pain and what we're afraid of, then we'll always be trapped and enslaved by confusion, pain, and what we're running away from. If you run after that stuff, also you'll be trapped by it. But if you just be present and let it come to meet you, you will be definitely become liberated from it. And it turns out that being liberated from confusion and pain and what you're afraid of is happiness.

[65:20]

And it's not just happiness, but it's also, just by coincidence, also the understanding of how you're related to all beings and how we work together. So all that information and intelligence comes flooding in too. And then it's right at your disposal. And the treasure store will open up itself and you can use it at will. But if you push away the pain, you push away the treasure house. And you push away the hands, the skillful hands. The skillful hands are blocked by pushing things away and holding on to things. If you open them up, they come into your hand and you can use them at will. But we don't want to open up to confusion and pain and what we're afraid of. We don't. So that's why just sit upright and gradually the hands will open. The heart will open. The mind will open. The pores will open. The tongue will open. And pretty soon you'll be in big trouble.

[66:26]

And if you don't run away from that, you'll be free of it. If you don't run away from it, if you don't grab it, it won't grab you. But it's hard. So if you have a hard time, please remember, all the ancestors, all the Buddhas had a similar hard time. When you have a hard time being yourself, you're in the finest company. You're in the company of all beings who have done that same work and said they had a hard time too. And each of us has our unique difficulty of being this person. And the example of others can encourage us but we have to do our own way. Does that make sense now?

[67:31]

It makes sense to me but it's not easy. I don't say it's easy but it makes a lot of sense to me. I have a lot of confidence in it but it's not easy. You've got to have a lot of confidence to do this hard work of being yourself. Yes? Oh, it doesn't make sense why we should have minds that are so good at being deluded? Well, because... We're just this incredible, I don't know what, we're this life form which has this extremely complex organization and brain structure such that we can imagine things that no other living being in the neighborhood on this planet can imagine.

[68:36]

We can imagine that we're separate. We can imagine things are outside ourselves. We can have objective knowledge. We can theorize. We can do all this stuff. And life has come to this point to create creatures like us. And because we can do all this, we can imagine all these unrealities. We can also attribute reality to them. We just have all this equipment and it's created this big mess. But the good side of it is it requires great enlightenment. and great understanding of the nature of the universe that is creating beings like this it requires us to become enlightened that's the positive side the negative side is that we're always evolving and having trouble adapting to our latest evolution just like our latest technology we have trouble adapting to the mental equivalent to that and emotional equivalent to that we're always growing and evolving and changing and adapting and innovating and

[69:37]

You may wish that you were a simpler type of animal, and we're the only animals that can do that. Deer aren't wishing they were amoeba. Male deers aren't wishing they were female deers and didn't have the problem with the horns and stuff. Female deers aren't wishing they didn't have the problem of childbirth and wish that they could just sort of do that male part of it. Nature is not wishing it was something other than what it is. There's only one part of nature that wishes things would be different. Us. We're the only ones who can imagine that. We're the only ones who know that they're going to die. We're just incredible creatures and therefore we can get all screwed up. We can believe our fantasies. We can argue about our fantasies. This is our equipment, this is our ability. Therefore we have to be very enlightened in order to not be fooled by it all.

[70:48]

Right? Very enlightened in order not to be fooled. And when you get not fooled by one thing, then you get another thing to be challenged by another thing to be challenged by another thing to be challenged by always new delusions to see if we fall for the next one we're creating new ones we're creating new fantasies and attributing new realities new fantasies and new realities to go to the core of your question though I think the core thing is that human beings have a sense of self and a sense of self is a real breakthrough, in a sense, for life. But when life forms make a sense of self and then believe and then make that self be independent, that's something that was an evolutionary breakthrough that we could imagine that. And that's the basic, among all the fantasies, that's the basic one. We just wouldn't be humans if we couldn't imagine a self and believe it was independent.

[71:54]

We just wouldn't be, there wouldn't be a self. But there is, and that's part of what we've evolved to be. And there's no going back as far as I can tell. There's only going forward towards understanding or being stuck. It's tough, kind of a tough job. So let's wish each other well on this difficult path.

[72:38]

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