Tonight I'd like to begin discussing this little paper that I wrote called The Ceremony for Encouragement of Zazen. Before I do that, I'd like to talk about something which will take the whole night. But anyway, I'd like to mention that when I was taking mathematics, one of my professors said that Leibniz, Leibniz was a philosopher and a mathematician, and my math teacher says, Leibniz said, if you don't understand something like a proof in math or some other teaching in mathematics, Memorize it. I mean, if you want to understand it. Memorize it.

[01:02]

So, for example, the other day I talked about the three meanings for the Pentecost arising and the three main criterions for establishing conventional truth. So if some of you didn't understand that completely. I've heard that you thought so anyway. And so that's something to memorize. If you memorize it and understand and then clarify the terms that are involved, it bounces around. And in your mind and heart, gradually your understanding can develop. If you expect to understand those kinds of things right away, that may be unrealistic. Religious language is like poetry. It's very intense, and it's not meant to be understood necessarily by one hearing. Sometimes you do hear something and understand right away, and that's often a very dramatic experience.

[02:10]

But a lot of times, these teachings, we go over and over. That's why we have repetition in religion. Every day we chant the heart citra, oh, every day we do it, we do it. And by that devotion, gradually, over the years, you understand it. So anyway, if things happen and you don't understand, write them down and memorize them if you want to understand. And then after memorizing, you can go into or any other kind of work with it. So I'd like to give you a little background on this article. One background I'd give is that this article kind of emerged, the stimulus for this article was an interview between primarily Jack Kornfield and myself, which appeared in the Inquiring Mind magazine.

[03:14]

And the windmill editor read this and thought that it would be good to put something from here, from this night in the article, into our windmill. So he edited something about it here and made a look and then gave it to me. And he edited out. There's three different areas I talked about in here. how to work with anxiety and fear. Another thing he talked about was Zen meditation practice per se, and also I talked about how I work with students. And so he took things out, but I actually reduced the article just to concentrate on his argument. And some other time I can do something about how I work with students. Toward the beginning of the article, the inquiring mind person said, if you describe how you teach people, and so I said, it says after a long silence, it means for an interview,

[04:46]

Mostly what I feel I'm doing is responding to what's happening in the moment. When I meet people, what I trust most is the presence in that meeting. And usually in the meeting with people I feel some pain and anxiety. try to open and be present with that anxiety and listen to it, feel it, and be aware of any strong impulse that may arise to do something to modify or escape from the pain. In that willingness to be present, there's a settling. Then in the settling, in that settled place, in the middle of all that apparent activity, the conditions contributing to the pain start to reveal themselves. What is revealed to me in this situation is that the primary condition for anxiety and pain and fear is the belief in an independent existence of the self.

[05:59]

And that conditioned by this belief is self-concern. The self-concern leads to an impulse to fix or ameliorate or escape the pain, which can be felt as a driving force for self-improvement and gain. But again, if I trust just being present with the situation, there's a relief from the enslavement to these impulses for self-improvement and for escape. And then the interviewer said, oh, Jack, then Jack Kornfield said, let's be specific. If a student comes to you and said, teach me how to meditate, what would you say? And I said, the first thing I would say to them is, do you want to practice Zen? And Jack Kornfield said, yes, I do.

[06:59]

The explanation is not. And then I said, what is your motivation? What is your ultimate concern? What I've been asking you for practicing Zazen. And then he said, self-improvement. Getting out of the pain, finding peace, learning about myself. And I said, if you want peace in the long run, then I think Zazen would be appropriate. But if in the short run, you want to run away from your experience of pain, then I think the Zazen I'm teaching would not be appropriate. Jack says, all right, I want long-term peace. And I said, if you want a final, reliable peace, then I think you have to start by sitting still.

[07:59]

If you do sit still, then probably you will start to open to the pain, and so on. So that's where this article I wrote came from, this discussion. It was really three hours. This is the tiny part of it. It was actually a lot of fun, the interview. But the interviewer had to, the interviewer was, what's his name, Wes Nisker? Well, Wes Nisker was, you know, the inquiring mind interviewer. Gil, and Gil, here it says Gil. It says Gil Fransdale, and inquiring mind was Scoop Nisker, who I went to college with. when we dated cousins. Anyway, he had to go someplace, so he cut it short at three hours. So that's where this article came from, from later discussions about what Zazen is, at least what I understand Zazen to be.

[09:08]

Okay, so... I think I'll just start reading the article a little bit before I say more so it says the ceremony for the encouragement of Zazen and I debated whether to call it that or call it a ceremony for the encouragement of the sitting meditation of a Buddha maybe that's what it should say because there's many kinds of zazen. So I think if this gets published again, I would maybe start with a sentence like this. Zazen is the word I use to designate the sitting meditation of a Buddha. So from now on, when I use zazen, that's what I mean by it.

[10:16]

Just in general, when I'm walking around saying zazen, that's what I mean. That's in my mind when I refer to Zadda. Not just something that you can do, although Zadda is incompletely one with everything you do, because whatever you're doing, what's actually happening there is what I mean by Zadda. And that's the sitting meditation of a Buddha. zazen is not the ceremony right right that's why i'm what this article is about a ceremony for encouraging actual dozen and so part of the article is through which i'll talk expand on is the relationship between a ceremony a religious ceremony and sort of like the point of the ceremony

[11:19]

So a ceremony of worshipping Buddha is not the actuality of worshipping Buddha. Worshipping Buddha far transcends our little ceremony. Matter of fact, I'm getting off topic now, but the entire universe is nothing but worshipping Buddha. That's what the universe is, the whole thing. It's just, if you want to see worshipping Buddha, look at the universe. That's it. So in the same way, that's what I mean by zazen. But we do ceremonies for zazen too, which are helpful enough to discuss, partly what I discussed. And so this zazen is the source of all the teaching and practices of the Buddha way. Although the word zazen literally means sitting meditation, In this context, it is not limited to a concentration practice.

[12:25]

All enlightened concentration practices emanate from and return to Visasya. Here one's mind is concentrated without relying on any contrivance and is not necessarily focused continuously on any particular object. There are concentration practices, and if one is practicing thus, we'll be in the midst of such a concentration practice. If one is not practicing concentration, it is just sitting still in the middle of not practicing concentration. It is simply pure presence untouched by all human agency. And I would comment, including conception.

[13:30]

Sajan is pure presence untouched by any conception, by any word, no words, reach, as we say. Many people attempt to concentrate their minds, and according to their own definition, are unsuccessful. Practicing concentration in this way. often leads them to feelings of frustration and upset. Many people come to me who are trying to practice concentration, and they're very upset about the way it's going because it's not going the way they'd like it to go. And it seems to me that concentration practice is just another thing to get them upset. Even if one is successful in achieving concentration by personal effort, the mind is still somewhat disturbed by such striving.

[14:41]

In Buddha's meditation, there is no striving. Giving up the desire to pacify the mind pacifies the mind. That's the first paragraph with me commenting a little bit. Now, some more background or foreground or something about Zodzim, which is not exactly an article. Who was it? Oh, I think it was Nanyuri. Were you Nanyuri? I think so. I think Nanyue Wairong went to see the Sixth Ancestor.

[15:49]

And when he got there, Sixth Ancestor said, what is it that thus comes? What is it that thus comes? What is it that... What is it that thus comes? What is it that comes like this? So on one level he's saying, you know, that came. What is it that thus came? But he's also saying, what is the Tathagata?

[16:52]

What is the Buddha? Tathagata means, thus come. But also Tathagata means, thus go. You can't tell what it means. So the Sanskrit word, Tathagata, a target. We don't know whether the target is put together with a combination of . Such, thus, plus, we don't know whether it's put . Or . Could be put If you put gatha together with tata, you get tata gatha.

[17:53]

If you put tata together with agatha, you get tata gatha. We don't know whether this should be a long mark here or a short mark. And usually they write it with a long mark, tata agatha. When you say Tathagata, you're interpreting it as Tathagata, I guess. Anyway, Tathagata means thus gone. Tathagata means thus come. But the Buddha actually, thus comes, the Buddha has gone, and the Buddha also has come. The Buddha has gone to nirvana, but the Buddha has also come from nirvana. So actually, the tathagata goes both ways. Goes to nirvana, and comes back from nirvana. Goes to nirvana, and comes back. That's the tathagata, that's what the Buddha is. Coming and going. of nirvana, achieving liberation, coming back to save sentient beings.

[18:55]

This is Buddha's life story. This is the life story of all Buddhas. So the Zen master is saying, what is the Tathagata? But also he's saying, what is happening right now? What's happening right now? And what is the Tathagata? same thing. What is thus coming right now? What is thus going on right now? What is Buddha? Same question. Okay. That's his question. And the monk says, Well, actually, some people say that eight years later, the monk said, and the story just goes, what is it that does come to the answers right away? But some people say eight years to intervene between the first and second line of the story. Then he says, after some period of time, he says, to say that it's this misses the point. To say that what's happening is this and this is the point.

[20:02]

To say that this is Buddha and this is the point. To say that this is Zazen and this is the point. To say that this is the Zazen of Buddha and this is the point. It would be nice to be able to say this is Zazen and actually some Zen teachers say this is Zazen but when they say that sometimes you don't know what they were talking about. You may say, oh, they meant that. Even Shizukri says, and this is Zazen, that's Zazen, but I liberate him from those statements. He wasn't making Zazen a conceptual thing. To say that Zazen of the Buddhists is this misses the point. So then the great master says to this yutta monk, he said, Well, then is there no practice and realization? Or, and then is there no practice, realization?

[21:07]

Chinese is just too, you know, doesn't it say and? It's a shu shou. And these are no shu shou, no practice and realization. And the monk says, Pairong, whoever it is, says, I don't say there is no practice in realization. There's no practice realization. I don't say there's no practice realization. I just say that it cannot be defiled. What is the Buddha? What is happening? What is the Tathagata? The saying that it's this missed the point. Is there no practice realization? I don't say that there's no practice realization of this target. I don't say that the target doesn't come into form, doesn't manifest, doesn't practice. I just say it cannot be defiled. Not be defiled means what?

[22:18]

It means You can't put it into duality. You can't defile it by self or self and other. You can't defile it by gaining idea. You can't defile it by making practice and realization dual. You can't defile it that way. That's all I said. So I'm not going to say that this is practice. I'm not going to defile it by saying this is it or this is not it. I'm not going to defile it by saying that's Buddha and that's not Buddha. I'm not going to say that me and Buddha are separate. I'm not going to defile it by saying in practicing body and mind are separated. I'm not going to defile it in any of those ways. That's what I have to say about practice. That's what I have to say about the Chagrita.

[23:20]

That's my understanding of practice too. I share that understanding. I'm a disciple of those guys. And then the sixth ancestor says, this non-defilement, like I said, now I am thus, and now you are thus too. Now I'm like this, and you're like this too. What is it that thus comes? Now I'm thus and you're thus too. This is a happy moment for the ancestors. He said, this non-defiled way is the way of all the Buddhas. So, this Buddha-zadhan that I'm talking about is naturally undefiled, like it says in this Zazen is naturally undefiled now somebody asked me the other day very sweetly we were talking he says well is that Zazen or is that practiced and I said no and he said some other things like well is awareness we talked some more and said oh he thought oh is awareness is awareness practiced I said no well is mindfulness practiced well no

[24:45]

Does practice have mindfulness? Yes. Is Buddha mindful? Yeah. Is mindfulness Buddha? Well, no. You can't put it in that box. Of course Buddhas are mindful, but that's not what it is. And this is frustrating for people. They would like to know what the practice is. They would like practice to be conceptual. Say, this is practice. Well, okay, you can have a practice like that. Fine. But I'm just talking about there is a practice which is beyond conceptualization. As a matter of fact, there is a practice which is beyond conceptualization. That's the practice of Buddha. Buddha's practice leaps beyond any kind of conception. In a sense, the meditation practice of the Buddhas is to be absorbed in that non-conceptual suchness. You can absorb in suchness, which means to be absorbed in non-conceptuality.

[25:56]

You're not absorbed in your concept of non-conceptuality. You can try that too. Well, is that non-conceptuality? No. Is that non-conceptuality? No. I won't say that's non-conceptuality. All right? felt that even now, it didn't go up to 8 o'clock. And the group, I don't know. Some people have a really long attention span, and some people don't. Some people are really tired, and some people are not. So I don't want to stretch the ones that are tired by going too late tonight. Let me just read the metric there of this. You know, for this reason, when I give even beginners that's an instruction,

[27:08]

Although I usually suggest they sit up straight, they sit upright with a straight spine, eyes open, and hands in cosmic concentration mudra and observe the other various points of posture, I do suggest that. But I do not encourage them to bend their mind into concentration on posture and breathing. I say sit this way, but I don't say now concentrate on your posture and breathing. Now, If someone does sit that way, they are spontaneously concentrated. But just sitting in that way, without using the sitting as a contrivance to get meditation, then you get concentrated. Then you're concentrated without striving for concentration. So it is naturally undefiled. If you just sit up straight, without trying to use it for some purpose, you naturally are concentrated. without using posture as a contrivance.

[28:13]

So, now, if someone... Let's see. I do not encourage bending the mind into concentration on posture and breathing, nor do I discourage it. If someone asks for instruction on how to concentrate on posture and breathing, I am happy to give detailed instructions on how to practice that way. I actually am. I don't know much else. If I knew how to type, I'd be happy to teach you how to type, too, but not to hit. Do I know anything else? If you want to learn how to tell a story, I'd be happy to give you detailed instruction on storytelling. I know how to bow, too. Anyway, I know a couple of stuff I'd be happy to teach you if you want to learn how to do them, including concentration, I'd be happy to teach you. Although concentration practices may be wonderfully beneficial and develop great mental skill, trying to concentrate on some object, like breath, may activate gaining ideas.

[29:30]

And so that's what I find. I find that if I just suggest to people, why don't you just sit still and get up straight and so on, they try to do that, blah, blah, blah, and they're fine. A lot of time I find that when people try to concentrate on an object, they get really upset. because we get into this gaining idea thing comes up. Well, and I went through that myself. And I'll, you know, I don't know how to tell the story right now, but anyway, I tried to get myself concentrated, and you know what, I was successful, but I didn't like it, what I had to go through to get there. It was not Buddhism, it was a power trip. And I was, I overpowered myself and got myself concentrated. You know, when I was overpowered, well, poor little me, you know. Somebody beat me up into being totally concentrated. I didn't like that. That wasn't what I came for. So I stopped that kind of practice. Gaining ideas are antithetical to the whole project of Mahayana Buddhism.

[30:38]

I discussed the other day about improvement in it. which is concerned for others' welfare rather than one's own self-improvement. However, we may not realize this right from the start of our practice. As long as we're engaged in a self-improvement meditation, we continue to be trapped in ourselves. When we are free from self-improvement, we are free from ourselves. Let me just read, okay? Unless I misreads. Okay. This is important. To balance the last one. Although it may be difficult to wholeheartedly concentrate on an object without getting caught in some self-serving, gaining idea. And I didn't say this, but I would say it is possible.

[31:40]

It is possible to wholeheartedly concentrate on an object without getting caught in self-serving ideas. It is possible. And you can be wholeheartedly concentrating on an object and not get into self-concerting and gaining an idea. It's possible. But anyway, it's difficult not to. It's difficult to really get into it without getting caught in some self-serving, gaining an idea. It is also true Although that's true, it is also true that having a gaining idea and acting on it may be an important step in one's cultivation and realization of a practice which is free of such gaining idea. Did you follow that? So that's the story of the son, right? He had to practice gaining idea practices for a long time before he could like just move into the house and just take care of the house the house of Buddha with no gaining idea but he had to do gaining idea practices for a long time before he could enter into the cultivation and realization of practice which is free from such gaining idea such practice

[33:10]

Gaining idea practice may help us forge a strong enough container to tolerate a non-gaining approach to meditation. Doing gaining idea practice may give you the strength and confidence to forge a container with strong enough to tolerate facing the fact that you're Buddha's kid. That you're actually really Buddha's child. You have to have a strong container to face that. It's actually you. Think about it. You get very nervous. So it may be necessary to do this for a while in order to be able to practice a non-gaining approach to meditation. It frequently happens that if a practitioner pushes personal effort to the limit, personal power to the limit, in a wholesome way, as in concentration practice,

[34:19]

They will realize the futility of depending on personal power and then find another entrance into the Al-Qaim. Now we can have questions for the Luwab. Ann? Susan? We're in a race, isn't it? Yes. ...we're sending the cell... Yes. ...we're sending the cell... Yes. ...we're sending the cell... Um, you're studying the self, and you think studying the self is a problem with politics? Well, when you're studying the self, things come up that may not be enough. Right. For example, you may notice that you're in self-improvement.

[35:21]

I've noticed that myself. I don't know. Sometimes I say, well, you know, it's self-improvement. Wow. But the meditation on this person who believes in himself and noticing that this person is on a self-improvement trip, that meditation is not a self-improvement trip. That meditation is, I'm going to study what's happening with myself in a little while. And I'm not doing that to get from them. I'm just studying. And I will study whatever comes up. including, if I notice, some guy is trying to self-improve himself or improve his situation. And that's not sometimes easy to see, especially when you hear that that's a problem. I may also notice somebody who's on a self-degradation thing.

[36:24]

That may be even worse. The truth between the two, I think, is self-improvement there and self-degradation. It's wholesome to prove yourself on the way. Let you do it really well and prove yourself. But you can study without gaining an idea. It's possible. It is possible to focus on an object and concentrate, but not know getting an idea. It's possible to study yourself and know getting an idea. Difficult, but possible. Including noticing it. And when you notice you're getting an idea, you're starting to learn something. Go ahead. That's good. Come back to that. That's good. Studying the self is... Studying the self is... But if they study the self, it doesn't say try to get better at studying yourself.

[37:32]

Doesn't say, improve yourself by studying yourself. They say, what? Yeah, study the self. Study the self, which is very likely to be very interested in improving yourself. Most people are interested in study the self that's in the gaining idea. Study the self. Doesn't say, gain, gain, gain, gain by studying yourself. Study the self, gain. By studying yourself, you will forget to get into it. You will forget it. When you forget it, the body and mind drop away, and then everything enlightens you. Could anything be better? It's fantastic. Everybody drops their bodies and minds. Everybody's liver is the greatest thing. Is it an improvement? You can say so. But then you step back into delusion, which we could really do at that point. If one may see the pocket, it can be diluted at will. Marianne?

[38:41]

What's the relationship? If your relationship is that when there's an absorption state, when there's a concentration state, the way that is, is that Do you have to? Do you have to? Most people do. Even the Buddha, even a pro at it, sort of have to make a little effort. But anyway, there's a little effort like turning it on. Turning it on TV. There is an effort, though, and you have to do that. You have to decide to be in a concentration, one with jhammas, one of those trances. You have to decide to be in... Sometimes people accidentally fall in by habit, this sort of thing. But that state is not Vasini. Even though the word Zen comes from that state.

[39:48]

The word Zen is a shorthand form of Zen now. It comes from the Chinese word Chan, which is an abbreviation of Chan. Chan is the Chinese way of saying John, which means the train. So when the newspaper people came out and saw Bodhidharma, they thought he was in a jhana state. They thought, oh, look at the yogi. He's in a jhana state. Knock, knock, knock. He doesn't freak, you know. He sits there in the snow, you know, people cut their arms off and he said, anyway, he told me, he's like, totally, he must be in France, they thought. They knew in China, in the Chinese newspaper, people knew about jianna practice, so when they saw Borei Terminus, they said, oh, he's a jianna musket. He's a then, he's a chan man. a jhana, a chana master, a chana master, they called him, his school is a chana school, so then they called him a chana school. They didn't realize that when they saw Bodhidharma what they were seeing was Buddha, not just a concentration practice, not just a jhana practice, which yogis all over India do jhana practices, but jhana practices are not necessarily

[41:03]

associated with enlightenment. The Buddha, actually, when the Buddha woke up, he was not in a jhana state. But it isn't like the Buddha goes into a jhana state and loses his enlightenment. He can be enlightened in a jhana state or not in a jhana state. That's why I've said in the past that these jhana states are very similar to playing golf. Very similar. And being good at golf, actually, when you're actually being quite concentrated on some activity. Or really good at tennis, or whatever. Or really good at piano, or whatever. And if you are doing those practices, the suchness, the way things are actually coming to be at the moment, the way in that moment of golf, at that moment of jama practice, that's the thāgata coming, that's the thāgata, the thāgata, that's the Buddha.

[42:05]

The way things actually are is developed. You need to be absorbed in the way things are, is developed. So actually, I should take it back. But zādhanism isn't just the way things are. Zādhanism can be totally in one with the way things are. So the way things are is that your body and mind are sane and different. Your body and mind are very intimate. Zādhanism can be absorbed in the intimacy of your body and mind. Buddha's essential beings are intimate. You and all other people are intimate. That's what's actually happened. That intimacy is happening. So as in it's being absorbed, they completely settled in that way. And if you're doing a jhana practice, then that's what would be happening for you and you would be there in the suchness of it.

[43:07]

And if you're in the suchness of it, you have no attachment to it and no getting idea about it. But as many yogis do practice those jhanas and they are attached to them. And they sometimes go from the jhanas to hell. Because the jhanas end and then somebody says, Hi Mary Ann. Some people come out of the jhanas and people irritate them because they just come from a very pleasant situation where there was no pain and then somebody comes up and looks at them sideways and you go meh. And actually there's a story in the scriptures of a yogi who went on a retreat. He was in a sangha. He went on a retreat. He practiced the jhanas. He came back to join the sangha again and he was rude to the other monks. And the other monks went to the Buddha and said, Lord, so-and-so just came back from retreat.

[44:10]

He's being rude to us. Is that the result of retreat? He said, this is not good. Buddha said, this is not good. You shouldn't come back from retreat and be rude to your Sangha members just because they don't look like deities. It's because they don't seem like bliss gods. You should not be rude to them. That's not good. Your meditation practice is off if you come back in the trance and are irritated by people. Okay? So, one Zen teacher says, if you go on a meditation retreat, if it's really, if it's the Zadzen of the Buddhas, when you come back, you know what your kids say? They say, Mommy's nicer when she comes back from retreats. She's nicer. I like her to go on retreats because when she comes back, she's nicer. Rather than mommy comes back and she doesn't want to talk to me anymore because I'm bothering her. She said, leave me alone. I haven't transitioned yet out of my concentration.

[45:13]

And that's a mild version of what people sometimes do when they come out of session or whatever. This is not... point point is the meditation makes you realize your intimacy with all being makes you appreciate that everyone is extremely precious to you i mean like everybody is very precious to you they're you they're like your favorite thing among all the other things and everything everything is totally you know precious to you that's what the meditation How can you not? Well, I wouldn't think it's better, that's how I do it.

[46:13]

Watch, see how I did it? I'm not thinking that's better. Now I can, if you want to know how to think it, you already know that, right? Isn't there an occasional gap in your mind where you don't think that that's better? Like sometimes when you're up in the shop, you're like concentrating on your work. Isn't there like a little space there where you're not thinking, you know, it would be better if I was like totally enlightened. Isn't there some gap in that kind of attitude? Yeah, that's how you do it. In those gaps, that's what it's like. When you really don't think, geez, it would be better if, you know, I was more enlightened and, you know, it was a little sunny around here and we got some better students. ...walking around thinking, geez, if we just had some really good teachers here, you know, that would be better. That would be like, of course it would be great to have a good teacher here, but... you don't have to get into that would be better.

[47:16]

Now, it's hard when you start thinking about a really good teacher coming, you know, and having a wonderful interaction with a really good teacher, like a really beneficial interaction. So you would sort of like be a really good teacher all of a sudden, and you would like to be appreciating everybody, and you would like to find everybody. If you think about that, it's really hard not to slip into it. That would be better. But It is possible to think that thought without thinking that'd be better. I had a good teacher one time, but then he split. So, was it good that he split or bad that he split? Or should I split first so that he can't leave me? Anyway, he left. Was that bad? Was it good? Anyway, you can say whatever you want, I can say whatever I want. But you know, I really don't know. So actually, I don't think about that it would be good or bad, that it was good or bad, or is good or bad, or it would be better if he came back to visit occasionally.

[48:24]

I would like him to come to visit. I would appreciate that. At least, you know, for like five minutes, I'd like to see him for five minutes, just say, I, you know, can I ask you a question? How am I doing? I said he probably would do. Just laugh. But anyway, I would like to see him. I would like to see him, but I don't think it would be better if he came back. And worse, that he's not coming back. So, I don't know how I do that. But anyway, I do sometimes get into thinking something better. I definitely do. And I sometimes don't, though. What's the way to get into, to be free of getting an idea? What is it? But how do you get to the position of either way they can?

[49:27]

Yeah, you have to be absorbed in what's happening. That's it. Yes? Yeah, Ms. Rebecca. Can I get any idea of being aware? Realizing your goal, yes. You know, where you have a goal, and you realize it, and this may happen many times, and you have a goal, and you realize it, and then see the emptiness of it. And if you do that, immediately, you're going over a period of time. You may, you know, eventually get that that is not, that that's not the thing.

[50:30]

Right. So there's something great about that. It's the same thing because you start to see that everything that's better actually has its downside. B, B, B, U. U. When I was in college, things were pretty good. And I could see that I was getting close to, like, just about perfect. The gap between where, not me personally, but my life was, the gap between where my life was and perfection was getting pretty close. But I somehow could tell that if the gap was closed, it wouldn't do it. But I had to get pretty close before I could see that closing the gap to zero wouldn't do it. I never got there.

[51:33]

Never got there. But you did, so you proved what I was right. Some of the people that got there, that's what I thought. What you found out when you got there was what I thought would be the case. So I never did close the gap. What did he do? Yeah. And you got some new shirt. Right. So it looks without a person. You know, it looks like a little bit.

[52:38]

That I am in my teaching. Right. [...] Yeah, right. So you shouldn't hang around with unenlightened people. Fake enlightened people who are on these hikes with you. So then you sit there and you're sort of accepting things the way they are and you've got somebody that is like a Korean force anyway. Well. So I'm trying to find out what the right length of the classes are, you know. And so I'm going to just keep going through this text for a little while. Copy until it's done. And then go on to some other meditation text.

[53:38]

So that's kind of that's it. So I hope this helps you in your thoughts in tomorrow morning. I hope it helps you enter into the Zazen, which is free of better and worse. I hope you enter into an absorption, which actually doesn't prefer enlightenment over delusion. It's like 90% of people are willing to do it. A couple of people are holding it up. You still want to prefer and let you know what I mean. Hey, you know, we welcome disagreement here. Huh? We don't have to.

[54:42]

We don't have to. of getting an idea if you want to. But as we just said, it may be necessary for me to do that for a while. It's really alright. And I'll even give you instructions if you need it. Because I used to do that when I really got into it. It wasn't any big. Hey, three o'clock now, or should I call one joke? Huh? It's okay. What? What did you say? Okay, so you know this one. This is one which is not a Zen story, but you know what? The nice thing about Zen is that people give us these stories. Now this story is known, you know, if you go to the psychology conferences and stuff, transpersonal psychology conferences, even the Sufis say this is a Zen story. But it's not. But, you know, they give it to us. Isn't that nice? It's easy to say Zen story rather than Vajrayana story. Anyway, Zen story.

[55:45]

This Chinese guy, you know, that Chinese guy, right? He has a son. No, he has a horse. His horse runs away. And all his neighbors say, oh, that's too bad. Your horse ran away. And he says, maybe so. And his horse comes back and brings a whole bunch of wild horses with it. He gets his horse back plus a herd of beautiful Mustangs from Central Asia. And his neighbors say, wow, you're so lucky you got your horse back plus a whole bunch of wonderful, beautiful, wild horses. And he says, look at himself. And his son gets up on one of the wild horses and goes riding and falls off and breaks his leg or something. And he said, oh, I said, but your son broke his leg, that's so. He said, oh, too bad. I said, look at himself. Then the army comes, you know, like the King Emperor Chin comes to get his son to take them all out to war. We're so sorry. I know you're so lucky.

[56:46]

Your son's got a broken leg so they don't take him. You're so lucky. [...] You're so lucky you're at Casa Har. You're so lucky you're you. No, no. You're so... It's too bad that you're... It's really sad that you're at Casa Har. We should be absorbed in what's happening, what's happening, what's happening. Absorb in that. That's the zarzain of the universe.

[57:33]

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