kind of amazing over here, in the sense of all kinds of dynamic things are going on. On one side, I feel like the whole setup is really kind of unusual and questionable. And I also feel, geez, it's so wonderful that such an unusual and questionable setup can occur. And by that I'm referring to, for example, this talk that's going on right now, and the sashin that's going on right now, the practice period that's going on right now, the green culture that's going on right now, these kinds of things.

[01:04]

I'm living here, as you may have noticed, among you. And like I sit in this seat here, over here in this thing, and I look out and I see these like these banks of beings. These banks of beings. These ranks and files of white reed flowers lining the river. I see all these strong, vulnerable people. I see these amazing yogis packed into this little room, living so close to each other for a day or a week. it's really amazing that such a thing is occurring here.

[02:15]

And that I get to see it and listen to it and talk to it. Also, it's kind of like questionable whether this should be going on. But I feel so fortunate to be able to have a little a little, you know, to be with it for a little while. You're living close together, right? Some of you are sitting here like right there. You sit right there, right? You sit there and you sit there. This is where you've been sitting. You sit there for hour and hour. You sit next to each other, right? You breathe right next to each other. Sometimes you think next to each other. You move together. You digest your food together.

[03:19]

You practice together. It's really intimate, isn't it? And you have all these feelings for each other which are like far beyond anything we'll ever know. Yeah, people are going through so much together. In a way it's difficult, what's going on here, and in a way it's easy because you've got enough difficulty. you're really, you know, you're being met, it seems like. So, here I am telling you about my impression of what's going on.

[04:22]

And that's funny too. But I'm doing it. And I'm not worried because I'm really just being channeled This is not really something I'm doing. You know, I must admit, you know, up in the hillsides there's some grass and flowers and probably gophers and lots of mice, many, many bunnies and bobcats. Down in the room here there's, I must admit, there's some consideration of the matter going on. And there's some reconsideration of things that have occurred. For example, there is the deliberation or the consideration of what I talk about and when I talk about it. A little bit of that. I don't grab it tightly, but it happens.

[05:24]

So, for example, on Sunday I gave a talk here. And, you know, that talk I gave was really a talk that should have been given the day later, probably, because some of you weren't here for that talk, right? So you didn't hear it, even though that talk would have made everything I said after that much more sensible to you. The people who are here understand, right? But, you know, I couldn't help it. I couldn't help it. I didn't really know I shouldn't give the talk that day, that I should wait until Monday to give that talk. But anyway, I'm not going to give the talk again, but I sort of am. Here it is. We, some of us, like to be held. We like to be held.

[06:28]

Some of us don't feel held sometimes, and we want to be held. Some of us have preferences about what's holding us. But anyway, some of us have a kind of a feeling or a longing to be held by something. We have some particular idea and we want something to hold us. Some of us are more, you know, less prejudiced about it and just want to be held, period. We don't care if it's big burly arms or little skinny arms or whether it's thighs or, you know, breasts or many arms and hands. eyes, visions, flowers, grasses, trees. We just want to be held. And what I said on Sunday was I think the reason why some of us want to be held is because, in fact, we are being held always. In fact, that's reality is we are being held. Never not held.

[07:33]

cannot exist at all without being held. And we want to experience that. We want some verification of that because sometimes we lose track of it or we lose our confidence in that. And when we lose our confidence in being held, then we think, well, I got to do my life now. Like I have to get through the day or I have to get through the minute or I have to practice Buddhism or I have to save all sentient beings or I have to give all Dharma talk. but I'm not held so it's going to be hard work for me to do this and I might not be able to pull it off but that's not really what's going on is that we're being held and from being held we give Dharma talks and get through our day we long to understand that that we're being held and also we are also holding and we are being held by everything, absolutely, completely everything's holding us and we are also holding everything.

[08:42]

It's a perfectly equitable situation. We are being held by everything to hold everything. This is, I declare that as reality. I'm perfectly sure of that and Everybody wants to understand that. And not only do we want to be held, but we also want to be free of being held. And we are also being held to be free of being held. So we need to understand that somehow. And the gate, one way to talk about the gate to understanding that we are being held and that we hold the entire universe, which is the same as to say the gate to understanding that the whole universe is the true body. What I talked about on Sunday was we need to grieve the consequences of our ignoring that we're being held.

[09:58]

So if we ignore being held, we feel like we've lost many things and we need to grieve that. But another way to put it is the way that the Buddha put it in the scripture I've been talking about, is we need to let go of that holding of trying to manipulate things so that we'll feel held. Grieving is what actually will, when you finish the grieving, you're ready to accept that you're being held. The reason why we have to grieve is because we didn't believe that we were being held in the past.

[11:16]

We ignored that we were being held in the past, so we must grieve. And the reason why we must grieve is because since we ignored that we were being held, when we lost contact with something that we felt supporting us, we refused to let go of it. we didn't understand that this gift is coming to us and goes away and comes again and goes away. We ignored the reality of the constant support, the constant gift of support and the constant taking away of the gift of support or the impermanence of the gift and the giving of the gift again, which is our life. We ignore that, and when we ignore that, then when what's supporting us starts to go away, we hold it. We can't, it's impossible, but we try. And because we hold what's supporting us as it goes away, I mean, I shouldn't say we hold, we try to hold what's going, then we can't see the next gift come.

[12:37]

We look away from the place where the support is coming and going, and we just grab onto where we feel the support. And then the next support we don't receive. So our true body says, okay, you got to grieve now. Grieve. Grieve. There's something sad here. You've got to satisfy yourself. And if you grieve, that tends to bring you back to look at the place, to face the place where you're receiving and letting go of your support. Then you can see that you're being held and you're holding.

[13:41]

So you want to pay your parking fines, so to speak. Pay your parking fines, which as you know, if you don't pay them right away, they build up. Now, nowadays at the, what do you call it? It's not the DMV, it's the DPT, is it? Or is it DPT? The Department of Traffic and Parking, it doesn't just keep going forever. The raising of the parking fees, it doesn't just go up and up forever. It stops for regular parking fines, not the big ones like wheelchair access and stuff like that or fire hydrants or things like that. But the ones for parking meters and things like that, they go up to 60 and they stop at 60. But these other ones, for like holding on to the most important thing in your life, they don't stop going up.

[14:46]

So start grieving as soon as possible, because it's just going to be more work later. Anyway, by grieving, you bring your eyes, you bring your heart back to the place where you're being held and where you're holding. You come back to that radiant place of your life. And then when you arrive there, then you start practicing the way it would have been nice if you were practicing before, namely, you watch the arising of events, you watch the arising of the universe in your view, you watch what the universe looks like from your seat, and then you do this wonderful thing called not producing the will to continue this or annihilate this.

[15:54]

And then this craving for something other than this universe, which is your true body, the craving for something other than your true body, in other words, the trying to get away from your true body and get a different true body, is abandoned and then the true body is revealed, which is wisdom. But all along you were held. All along you were held and you were held and because you were held you were supported and you were given grief. And if you accept the gift of grief, and even that will be taken away from you when it's done. You can't grieve forever. Of course, you can grieve on new stuff that you hold on to, but anyway, a certain grief package you take care of and that's it. You can't keep sucking on some particular grief thing forever either. You've got to just take it as long as it's there, do your job, and say, now I'm an unemployed griever.

[17:02]

And then there you are in the present and the next universe comes up for you. Can you like pay attention to it? Be attentive to it. Give it your full devoted awareness and not produce any agenda to manipulate any will to prolong or shorten the length of this universe. this particular package of universal existence. If you do, you realize the wisdom So when you get in this place that I've been referring to where you're not meddling with what's happening, then people keep ... This happens again and again when I talk about this place of really just dealing with what's happening.

[18:08]

as it's happening and really like don't mess with it. People then say, well, what happens if it's X, right? X. And they put in for X, they put, now that's something you have to meddle with, right? Like usually like little kids getting beat up is what they put in there. Now you can't leave that alone, they say. So we've gone through that, right? And everybody's got their little set of things that they put in the universe and say, now there you have to, like, annihilate that. Or this is too good not to prolong. But usually they don't dare talk about that. But really, that's what they really would have trouble not going for. But anyway... something really good or something really terrible, now there you couldn't possibly mean it. Well, I do, of course, mean that you just keep doing the practice there and you make a Buddha or you make, anyway, you make a wise person at that point who sees and realizes the true body of the self.

[19:22]

But then people say, well, how can you respond in that situation? where you're just basically dropping your manipulative tendencies, how can you respond? Even if it's not a terrible situation where you feel like, I have to respond, even just an ordinary situation, how could I act? People can't figure out how do you act in that place. So I presented the image of a flower. What kind of effort do you make in a place like that where you're not trying to manipulate anything? I offered the image of a flower. In other words, in this place, there's you, your life, in the world, in the universe. The universe is happening all around you. The true body is right in your face. How do you respond? What's your effort? Is this kind of like a limp thing here, where you're not trying to make deals with what's going on? Does that have no life?

[20:25]

No, it is alive. It's really alive. Matter of fact, it's more alive than this thing about making deals with what's happening. It's more alive. And I also then also say to you that making deals with what's happening, trying to change it, is really disrespectful of the universe, and it's disrespectful of the true body of the self, that you're gouging at reality by this manipulative response. But then people say, well, how can I act? Here you do not act. You do not act by your own power. You are being held and supported. And you are being supported, supported, supported. You're being supported into being this bright, vivid, living mass which stretches up into the world and does her thing with tremendous vitality.

[21:32]

And the tremendous vitality is just exactly the amount of vitality that is your life. This tulip has a different vitality from this rose, but they're both 100% of what they are. There is a response, but the response is not a manipulative one. It is one where you're being held by the whole universe to act on its behalf at your body and mind. You are the blooming of the universe. at your body and mind. You are the light of the universe. And that light is vivid, expressive, and active. But it's not personal power. You don't do this by yourself. You do it as a held event. Like, you know, some people, you've got these bodies, right?

[22:43]

And these bodies have various bones in them and muscles and ligaments and tendons and organs and all this stuff's going on, and there's various comforts and discomforts. And here you are sitting, some of you are sitting in this like traditional yogic posture, and some of you have shoulder problems and neck problems. How do you relate to the true body of the self manifesting in the form of a meditation hall with sore shoulders? How do you lovingly relate to this body with its problems? The held being, the held being that lives in this body with some pains, this held being, this being which understands that he's held, does not try to annihilate this pain in his shoulders, does not try to manipulate the pain in his shoulders, does not try to extend and promote and prolong the pain in his shoulders.

[23:53]

He sits in this very respectful, loving way in the middle of his body and mind. Does he sit up straight? Does he make an effort? There is for such a person an incredible, unstoppable, vivid blooming. He blooms into the proper posture. He renounces manipulating his body into the proper posture, and the proper posture blooms out of that effort. the sitting up straight comes right out of that kindness to the body. The kindness of the body is the ground, and this beautiful, radiant yogic body shoots up out of that kindness into erectness and vividness and blooming.

[25:00]

The shoulder still may hurt, or the pain may completely drop away. It doesn't matter. this flower does not care too much if its blooming hurts but in fact sometimes the pain on the shoulders just drops down to the ground and all that's left is this flower blooming but the blooming is not done by the person the blooming comes from the person renouncing meddling with this wonderful body that's been given to them to demonstrate their love upon. Lovingly relating to this body, this flower blooms, and it is effortful. Nobody can make this flower. It's only by being enthusiastic about working with this body

[26:03]

that the flower blooms, filled with a sense of everything that supports this life and appreciation for it. And you sit up straight. And it's not tiring because you're not doing it. The whole universe is sitting you up. It's always been that way. It always will be that way. You can only hinder it. and then sitting up straight, you know, good luck. Sometimes you sit up pretty straight by your own power, but you can only do it for a little while. When you do it from this place of renouncing the will to annihilate and renouncing the will to prolongate renouncing the tendency towards being and not being. In other words, loving what's happening and appreciate what's happening.

[27:06]

The flower comes and you get to be and live with it. So is that clear that I'm saying that? Am I absolutely sure about this? Yes, I am. Do I know how to do this? No, I don't. Can it happen? It can happen. And it means giving my life to the universe and letting the universe take care of me and sit me up How's it go? What's that? What?

[28:07]

What? Oh, yeah, that's it, the teapot. Tip me over and pour me out. I'm a little teapot, short and stout. This is my handle, this is my spout. When I get all steamed up, then I shout, just tip me over and pour me out. It's like that. It's like that. Where do you think they got that song? Can you understand? That's yoga right there. Just your little teapot. Here you are. And when you get all steamed up, just all full of steam like a thing, you just tip it over. Empty it. When I was a kid, you know, I used to go to the Christian church. I actually kind of like Jesus. I mean, what I mean by like Jesus is I like the stories about Jesus.

[29:11]

Like some of them. Some of them I couldn't relate to. They're a little bit too, you know, spectacular. But some of the things they say he said were pretty good. And one of them I'd like to mention, which I think you've heard. is the thing about where he said, I think he said, or St. Matthew said, he said, behold the lilies of the field. See how they grow. They toil not, nor do they spin. They toil not. They don't do man's work. They don't do women's work. They don't spin. They grow. See how they grow? They're held by the universe and they grow.

[30:15]

And it's not hard work for them because we all support them and they do this wonderful thing called growing can be a lily. Now, I picture myself field lilies, not these, not, you know, cultivated ones, just the wild ones. I guess that's the kind they had back 2,000 years ago. See how they grow. Behold how they grow. But I say unto you that Solomon in all his glory cannot compare to these. The greatest king, the greatest queen in the world cannot compare to the beings which are simply the flowering of the universe at that spot on the earth.

[31:18]

And each of us is that always. We can only turn away from that or appreciate it. Can these lilies respond? They do respond. They always respond. They cannot not respond. If a child is being hurt nearby, do they respond? Of course they respond. My grandmother's favorite flower was called the lilies of the valley. They're little tiny lilies. They have little bell-shaped things that sort of droop over, and the bells are about as big as those little things that they have at the end of switches on lamps, those little bells on the end of those little metal chains, those little bell-shaped things at the bottom, you know what I mean?

[32:21]

They're about a fourth of an inch tall or something. little white bells hanging down at my grandmother's favorite flower they bloom but they also kind of hang down and the whole world supports them to bloom in that particular way And do they respond? When the wind blows, do they move in the wind? Is their movement supported by the wind? Is their movement supported by gravity?

[33:22]

Does gravity pull their little bells down and does the wind move them? And when the wind stops, do they respond by becoming still? When there's moistness in the air, do they collect dew upon their surface? And when the dew is sufficient, does it roll down their cheeks and fall to the ground? Do they respond? Without any idea of right or wrong, do they respond appropriately? Do they shrink and tighten a little bit when there's cruelty nearby? Do they glow in the sun? Are they happy to cheer us? Of course they respond, perfectly, without any idea, without any attachment, without any self-righteousness. They never miss. Why?

[34:23]

Because they're nothing but a being that's held by the whole universe and that holds the whole universe. Right? It's the same with us, except we talk. And that's very important that we talk. We also smell like the flowers smell. But we talk and they don't talk. But we do respond, and when we're in this place, in our blossoming place, when we're not hindering our blossoming, then our speech and our bodily motion is the appropriate response to all beings. There is responding. It's not what you think it's going to be or what I think it's going to be.

[35:29]

It is the appropriate response. So, Saushan asked Elder De, Elder De, the true body of the Buddha is like vast space. It manifests in response to beings, like the moon and the water. Can you explain the principle of response?" The elder De said, it's like a donkey looking into a well.

[36:32]

And Master Sasan said, you've got quite a bit there, 80%. And they said, well, how about you, teacher? And Sasan said, it's like the well looking at the donkey. So you check it out if you wish. Every situation you're in, you know, like there's you, blooming you. There's some suffering in the world. What's the appropriate response? How will the true body of Buddha manifest as your response or as a response of you? How will the blooming you respond to suffering in the world?

[37:40]

It's like a donkey looking into a well. It's like the well looking at the donkey. It's like that. That's the principle of how the dhamma body of Buddha responds to response. So I'm saying, you know, I'm saying I really believe that this unattached beautiful flower that you are, that I say it does respond, and also these Zen teachers are actually telling you the structure, the principle of the response, the way it responds. And the way I just talked about little bit of the way a lily of the valley responds to wind and water and light and gravity.

[38:47]

The way it responds follows the same principle as the way a human would respond or a donkey and a well interact. Same principle. See if you think it's true. the true body of Buddha is like that space. And a master commented on this by saying, officially, not even a needle can get in. It responds to beings like the moon in the water. It manifests in response to beings, like the moon in the water. Comment is, privately, a team of horses and carriage can get in.

[39:57]

Officially, nothing's going to happen. There's no commitment. There's no deal-making. There's no manipulation. We're just in awe. We can't move a muscle. Not can't move a muscle. We don't do anything to manipulate the situation. There's not the slightest bit of disrespect for what's happening. We really accept, and there's no exception. The best thing in the world, the greatest practice in the world, we do not prolong it. The worst thing in the world, we do not annihilate it. Not a needle can get in there and mess with this detachment, this vast detachment. Privately, however, we'll do anything in response.

[41:06]

We'll be anything, and we can be anything because of our detachment. Okay? So what's the principle? Donkey looks at well. Well looks at donkey. Donkey looks at the well, and the gloss there is, Flowers fall consciously into the flowing stream. This is the relationship of the flower and the world. The flowers fall consciously into the flowing stream. And the other side, the flowing stream mindlessly carries the fallen flowers along.

[42:07]

This is the two sides That's the whole story of two sides. Got the flower? First of all, you've got to have the flower. This is like flower talk, right? You've got to let the flower manifest. Then when the flower manifests, when you've got the flower, then what's the principle of response of this flower? This wonderful flower of detachment. This wonderful flower of respecting what's happening.

[43:11]

This wonderful flower of no more deals with the moment. Here's the flower. Now how does that flower respond? One of the things it does is in response to the flowing events of the world is it falls. The flower is the flowering of detachment and it's also detached from being a flower. So the first thing it does is it causes itself to the welfare of the stream of beings. It falls, and it consciously falls. Oh, here we go. Here we go into the stream. And we're carried along and used by the universe which made us. The Buddha way, which supported us to flower, Now we give back this flower to the Buddha way and it's used. It's at the disposal of the flowing stream.

[44:17]

The other side is this flowing stream unmindlessly takes our fallen flower along and supports it to bloom again. and then it blooms, and we go around again, forever like this. At least that's what those old Chinese Zen masters said it was like. Maybe there's some subtle change. I can hardly imagine it, but then I don't have a very good imagination, so maybe somebody else sees something different going on now. Okay? So, like I said, I'm not exactly in control here.

[45:21]

I'm not trying to be in control here. But in my stumbling way, if you help me, we'll get this out in the open. This Dharma will get out in the open. and everybody can behold it, behold how it grows. And the kitchen's gone now so I don't want to start my next lecture now. because it's not my lecture. But anyway, this is like I'm trying to, I hope now, maybe that this is clear enough, but if it's not, then I hope it's not clear enough. But what I have sort of before me is this teaching of the Buddha which I gave you, which is in the middle of this sutra,

[46:35]

this teaching which the Buddha gave to this person named Pukasati, or Pukusati. And so now I wanted just to tell you that I pulled this little, this essential teaching here out of the middle of the story, out of the middle of the dialogue between the two of them. the core part of it, I pulled out the part where he's giving the instruction, the Buddha's giving the instruction about the realization of supreme wisdom. And I think, you know, that tomorrow I will try to like create, tell you about the context to expand the story of this interaction between the Buddha and Pukkosati. in which this essential teaching occurred.

[47:42]

I think maybe now it's time to tell the whole story. But part of what I want to say now is that what I have done, what I have done is something which I don't know if it was right, is that I've given you the supreme teaching without the rather long and challenging preparation course that Phukasati went through. I don't know if we'll be able to go through the preparation that sometimes is going through in order to receive this kind of teaching. Therefore, I give this kind of teaching right away. That's the way I'm doing it, because to give you this teaching, this direct Buddha wisdom teaching at the beginning of Sesshi.

[48:56]

And now that you have it, I might, if you can stand it, go back and tell you the preparation which you didn't go through. And then you can go through it if you want to. But maybe I shouldn't have given you this teaching of supreme wisdom. Maybe I should have just asked you to go through the long preparation process. But I didn't do it that way. So tomorrow I'll tell you about what we didn't go through and lead you back to the same place again. Part of the reason why I adopt this approach is because you're in sesshin, and I think that the sesshin might be accomplishing the preparation you need, the concentration you need to receive this teaching about how to be a flower.

[50:37]

So that's part of the reason why I feel maybe it's okay that I jump way ahead to give this to you. Can I say just one more thing before you speak? It's kind of like there's a story in the Lotus Sutra about the children in a burning house and they're having fun playing with their toys. and their father calls to them and says, hey, come on out of the house, it's burning. But the kids are so fascinated with their, you know, with their toys, that they either can't hear their father calling or they don't care what he's saying, whatever he's saying, they say, ah, it's him again. So they won't come out of the house.

[51:41]

So then he says, hey, I just bought you a whole new set of toys, better than the ones you've got. Like the kids are in their nursery and they're playing with little toys you know, like little carriages, you know, and little horses and dogs and stuff like that, and little chariots with little horses pulling them and stuff like that. And the father calls and says, I've got actual horses out here for you and actual goat carts and deer carts for you. And the kids say, wow. And they come running out of the house. And when they get out, the father says, Here it is. And what it is is it's not goat carts and deer carts and horse carts, but it's a white bull cart. And there's not three styles, there's just one. That's the story. So there's some debate about what that means.

[52:46]

But basically the two debates are, one is that skill and means, that in order to get the kids out of the house, you tell them about all these wonderful toys you have for them. When they get out, you give them the best toy. You don't tell them about the best toy. You tell them about what will get them out of the house. When they actually get out of the house, you give them the best toy. Now some people say, and Dogen Zenji is one of those who says, you know, just give him, just tell him, you know, get him out of the house with the one, with the best toy. Tell him, hey, I got the Buddha, the Buddha bowl card out here for you. And other people say, no, no, you should, you should use his other means to get them out. So I guess I go for the Buddha vehicle way rather than other ways.

[53:49]

But I'm open to the possibility that that's not working for you. But in this story here, in this sutra, it's like there is a, in a sense, it looks a little bit like Buddha's using, you know, a horse cart to get Pukasati ready for the bull cart. So we can look at that tomorrow. Yes, Nils? Any other comments? Yes. What about the flames?

[54:50]

What is it about the flames? The kids leave the house, the storage, the car outside. Do they know that the house is on fire? Thanks for that question. That's one of the reasons why I'm willing to tell you about the the actually not much to tell you about the one vehicle, but to show you the one vehicle. Because I feel like one of the differences between you and those kids in that story is I think a lot of you know you're in the flames. So that's one of the nice things about Sashin is I think many of you feel the flames. And because you feel the flames, I don't have to make deals with you and say, well, I've got all these different kinds of things to come on, you know. You naturally are ready to come out of the house, I think. And then I don't have to sort of apologize for telling you I use three, try to get you out with three toys, but I only have one.

[55:54]

I think a lot of you are willing to come out, even if there's not a nice toy out there for you. So that's one of the differences, I think, nice thing about Seshina. I think most of you have a pretty good sense that the house is burning. At least it's burning today. Maybe tomorrow it won't be, but maybe you're hoping that this fire will go out and you can just keep playing. But I think a lot of you are in the process of putting your toys down and getting ready to check out of this motel. That's what I think. So then when you get outside, then I'll offer you this nice, you know, thing. And then the question is, you can hardly believe, can't figure out how to drive it. The thing is, you don't drive it. You just say, thank you. Was there some other hand before Lee? Yeah. Do you still want to talk?

[56:58]

Oh, yeah. Thank you. I'd like to give some Kenyan instruction because maybe some people have not received Kenyan instruction. So I'll do that. Yes, Lee? Is it a toy? Yeah. Well, it's a toy. Actually, the things outside are not really toys. I misspoke. They're actual, like, they're not toys, they're actual, like, actual vehicles. It's a vehicle. What you're working with now is a toy. That's not Zen Buddhism. Pardon? What you're working with now is a toy, and you should come out of the house, and I'll give you Zen Buddhism. What?

[57:59]

Yeah. That's exactly how you get it, is somebody gives it to you. What? Do you think the teasing is a gift? It's a gift. In what you're talking about now, someone no longer believes that they're doing an action.

[59:02]

They continue to practice without a problem. Pardon? Well, it's not all the karma I'm creating right now, I admit. It's all my past karma, I admit. I keep admitting my past karma. Now, if I'm doing present karma, I should admit that too, but it's primarily admitting past karma. And Buddha... even an awakened person still has some past karma that's good to keep avowing and maturing. Now, even if there were no more to be manifested, it's hard to kind of understand that because I don't know theoretically if you would have a body if there were no more karma to be matured. So it looks like, in terms of the career of a Buddha, that right until you don't have a body anymore, you're still working with the maturation of past action.

[60:16]

And this confession thing is like admitting what you've got to work with and then moving forward. Admitting the results of past karma, here they are, I evolve them, I bow all that over and over and over. It's related to grieving, admitting past clingings and past angers, but the grieving is more for the clinging. Grieving is not so much to address anger, more like for attachments I'm just saying this now, you can think about this. I think, you know, anger, one of the things about anger is anger doesn't tend, you know, although we sometimes don't notice it, it doesn't necessarily happen as unconsciously as attachment. We don't tend to form unconscious bonds of anger in quite the same way that we form unconscious bonds of attachment.

[61:22]

So grieving is this medicine for mostly our unconscious attachments to things that have already passed. And anger we try to also flush out, but it's not by grieving so much. So the Buddha keeps practicing confession and also setting the example of practicing confession. So the Buddha keeps doing practices that the Buddha doesn't necessarily need to do anymore because the Buddha enjoys doing the practices that are helpful to beings. So the Buddha does them because it's enjoyable and also to set an example. Yes? Yes.

[62:27]

It's because the universe changes. You're being supported to be like this now. OK? but you're not being supported to be like this anymore. Now you're being supported to be like this. So you're being supported to be like you are now and that support is removed. So that changes but also that allows you to change. So you and your support are both impermanent. That's how you can... the universe changes and you change right along with it. And it's hard, we have a hard time like facing the radiant dynamic reality of where we're receiving support to be like this and where we perish and our support perishes right with us, or our support perishes and we perish with it. And then we're given a new life by the grace of the universe and that is also taken away. So we're given life and it's taken away. Given life and taken away. The universe supports us to bloom and we fall. supports us to flower, the flowers fall.

[63:37]

Hopefully, in the process of the Buddha, the flowers fall consciously and are carried away. But it's not just that. It's also that there's something which mindlessly carries us away and brings us back. So this is the world of enlightenment. Enlightenment. which we can open our eyes to, if we stop messing with it, if we stop putting our energy into trying to engineer this falling flowers and flowing water, trying to make it go differently, just put our hands down and look, we can see the reality of birth and death. And we can see that there's blooming, blooming flowers in birth and death. And there's teaching of Dharma in birth and death. the arising of Dharma is also the demonstration of birth and death. And our yogic responsibility is to, like, settle down into what's happening and give up any kind of craving, and then we can see reality.

[64:56]

We can see the truth. We can realize the truth. But we can't realize the truth if we keep trying to, you know, change it into something else. Right? Yes, Miriam? Why mindlessly? The universe does not have, you know, some kind of agenda for us. You know, the whole universe doesn't have like, you know, that which supports us is not like trying to do us some favor, you know. I go, now I take the old Miriam, now I receive the old Miriam and carry her off to reconstitute her into a new Miriam. The well, you know, is not, doesn't have a mind, doesn't have consciousness. We are made up of unconscious inanimate forces.

[65:58]

They give rise to us and we return to them. we're intimate with them, we look at them, and if we look at them like a donkey looks at them, this is the proper way to look at them. And we consciously fall into the inanimate forces which give rise to us, and they carry us up mindlessly and give us back life, if that's what's in the cards. And that is in the cards, because life is like that. So this is called birth and death. And if you see birth and death and don't mess with it, that's called nirvana. If you ignore birth and death, that's called birth and death. If you don't look at birth and death, you turn away from it, which is the same as if you mess with it, then you just go deeper into birth and death.

[67:01]

You go into the lower parts of birth and death. The parts of birth and death that are lowest are the places where beings are not looking at birth and death. The highest parts of birth and death, the center of birth and death, the liberating point of birth and death, is where beings create no impulse to alter, modify, or improve birth and death. That's the gate to nirvana. It's called the door of wishlessness. You do not wish for birth and death to be different. That's the gate to nirvana. Wishing for it to be different is to turn away from the meditation on birth and death. Is this easy? No. Is the sheen easy? No. Therefore, you're in the right place. Since you've got a difficulty, why not have the difficulty of studying birth and death?

[68:08]

It's not that much harder than what you're going through now. It's just simply facing it lovingly, kindly, very kindly. patiently, respectfully, flexibly, openheartedly, a little foolishly, and so on. Oh, there he is again. Back up a bit. Going back to flowers, an appropriate response. There's moments where I find myself all exhausted. I experienced whips, and another real time with an appropriate response to that. I feel as though I want to blossom, sunshine upon me.

[69:24]

I want to open up, get crafted to feel. My perception of practice informs me in such a way that I feel as though I'm stifling this blitz. I feel there's an organic and natural response that I want to reach out to. I cut my palms and you can be like this. Again, you know, my practice is to get in the other room. On the other side, fancy me this painting, and I'll go over to you. If you have a bottom of the foot or the ceiling of the foot. So far it sounds pretty appropriate. Feeling that you want to reach out and touch somebody.

[70:28]

Seems pretty appropriate feeling to come up. Do you want to show and express this happiness? Seems fine. It doesn't seem manipulative. Seems pretty good. Sweating seems good too. Seems fine. Yeah. Whether you should actually touch them or not, maybe you should consider now, I'd like to touch them, but do they want to be touched? I mean, this thing I want to share with them, I only want to share it with them if they're up for it. So you could, you know, have a little card that you have at your seat. You know? Just in case you feel, you know, overwhelmed with bliss, you've got this little card which you pass to your neighbor saying, would you like me to touch you?

[71:53]

I'm overwhelmed by bliss. I love you truly. And then they and everybody else could have a card Or everybody could have another, you could have one of those cards and you could have another card which says, yes. The other card which says, no, thank you. I'm busy. This is fine, you know, really. Now you have a new perception of Zen, right? I most like that Nils forgot all about it.

[73:03]

Tomorrow we will enter into the incredibly intimate realm of the relationship between Shakyamuni Buddha and one of his beloved disciples. In the meantime, please enjoy the true body of the self, which is coming to you every second. Amen.

[74:10]

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