And during our opening chant, I felt our chanting way up in the air above the Zendo. But I wasn't sure if that was our chanting or our airplane. I still don't know. But I could feel the chanting, it went way up, upside, above the building. It was going overhead. And then when you stop, I thought I heard the airplane, but I wasn't sure. Do you know? Was it an airplane? Anyway, it was. We were in harmony with the airplane. I wanted to say something about something that had a problem occurring in the class around Alaya, and that is about Alaya being a resultant, and what does that mean? And now I propose to you to think about it like this.

[01:04]

The Sanskrit word that they use there is the taka. It's kind of a resultant. But this alaya which is a resultant is an alaya which is one of three transformations, and all these three transformations, alaya, manas, and the acquisition, manas and manavidhyadattu, or the resultant thinker, reflector, and the acquisition six-fold object, those three are all working together. So, The way I'm understanding Vasubhanda now is when he says it's a resultant, what he means, his primary intention here is to say that alaya is causally produced, that it co-dependently arises.

[02:09]

That he's telling you right off that it co-dependently arises. First thing he tells you about alaya is that it's co-dependently produced. And A lie is also a seed for things, and a lie is also a result of past. It's a result of other things, and it's a result of the past. It's also a cause for the future. But there's no past, present, and future separate here. So a lie is not a substantial thing. But the meaning of result in there, I think, is that it's dependently arisen. It's the first thing Vasa Banda wants to tell you about it so you don't think alive this, like this place or this substantial stuff that everything comes up out of. It is a ground in a sense, but it's a codependently produced ground. It's an ungraspable ground. And it's always working with these other two transformations.

[03:15]

And it has the power to be like a seed. But the thing is, when people think of it as a seed, then they think of it as this core, this thing, which can produce, can be the resource for images. Which is true, it is, but it's not a substantial thing. It's a codependent that produces. And it's also a result of everything else, including the past, but also it's a result in the present of these other two transformations. It's a result in the present, not a result in something before it. But also, it's a result of things before it, but so are they. So are the other transformations. So I think the main point, anyway, that he wants us to know right from the beginning is this alaya is a dependently arisen phenomenon. It has no inherent existence in itself. And it always works with these other two simultaneously. Could you explain, at this point, the difference between and the foundation?

[04:38]

I'll do that in class. I think I just wanted to sort of clear that point up, because that was sort of, I think, kind of a bug at the end of the last class. This other one, I think, it is the Karaka we're working on, so we'll definitely work on it from the beginning of the class. Okay? And last time we talked about Bodhisattva practice of confession and repentance. And... I had a... I was studying the platform switch of the sixth ancestor, Poinom, and he has a section in Neon Repentance. And I did some notes on it, but I can't find it here. But basically, one of the points he makes that I want to say is that he says, It's useless or meaningless to repent in front of the Buddha.

[05:47]

When I read that, I thought of a conversation we had. Muga was saying, well, is it by yourself? Is that okay? Or is it good to do it in front of the Buddha, in front of somebody? And I think it's better to do it in front of somebody, in a way. And then the sixth ancestor said, it's meaningless to do it in front of the Buddhas. I think what he means, if you read that, Ma, I want to tell you in advance, what I think he means is two things. One, is what he means is that to merely say in front of Buddha, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I really regret doing this, that that is meaningless unless you also actually cut off doing the thing in the future. He's saying that just for people to come and confess, which is probably a prevalent practice in China in his time, in front of the Buddhas or in front of the teachers, it's meaningless unless you actually have the resolution to definitely not do it in the future.

[06:52]

So that's one way I think he means that it's silly to just be confessing in front of the Buddha. Another meaning, of course, is that the Buddha is not in front of you. So although you confess in front of a Buddha, the Buddha is not a Buddha out there. So that's meaningless too. And I think I've also mentioned to you before about that The statement from the Jewel Mir Samadhi, the meaning is not in the words, yet it responds to the inquiring impulse. And literally that means it responds to the arrival of energy. It. What is it in this case? The teaching of blessedness.

[08:04]

the arrival of energy, energy comes, what energy? Your energy, the energy of your life. You put your energy out there, here's my energy, and there's a response. They also say, inquiry and response come up together. It's like... See, this is inquiry. The response happens at the same time. It isn't like, hello, it's... The response is right there. That's the response. Do you see? So, in that way, when your energy comes, there is a response simultaneous with that. And what is that response? It is the teaching of dustness. What is the teaching of dustness? It's the dustness. Whatever that is, that's the response. But if you don't go like this, there's no response. If you don't say, au, there's no response. When I go, I go, au, but what's the response?

[09:10]

It's right there, too. That's the response. I didn't make that au. I went, I did something, and then there was an au. But the au, what was the au? That's the teaching of blessings. So we do confess And we also should confess that this ancestor says There is a confession and then there's that's the repentance and then there's a resolution repentance resolution so that the term that they use in the platform sutra is Chan play and he says what is Chan me? Chan means that you that you confess that you avow what you did what does play me way means that you say you're not going to do it anymore and So confession or repentance and resolution, those two is what you mean by repentance. And again, there's no counting about saying, well, I don't know if I'm going to do it.

[10:14]

I don't know if I'm going to be able to not do it anymore. Well, forget that. You don't need to talk about that. You just say you're not going to do it anymore if you're ready to say that. Just say it. And before you're done saying it, you'll be done saying it. Later you may say, well, I'm not telling you to be able to do what I just said. Well, then you, yeah, so what? That's a different matter. That's doubt. But already you committed yourself, and that's part of the process. That is the process. The doubt thing is a different thing. Several years ago, Aiken Rushi gave a talk, and I think, I don't remember what he said, but he was talking about this French, I guess she's a political writer, and maybe some other writings, too, she did. Her name was Simone Weil, right? Did I say her name? Is she a political writer? Yeah.

[11:23]

Yeah. So Simone Weil, somewhere along the line, somebody told her that she should pick some kind of koan or something, and that she should memorize it, and then meditate on it. And the poem she chose was an English poem by a guy named by a guy named George Herbert. George Herbert was a priest in the newly formed English church that Henry VIII started so that he could have lots of wives. And George Herbert wrote this poem. He wrote three poems called Love. And I don't know which one she memorized, actually, but I think it's poem Love No.

[12:28]

3. I think. I hope so. Anyway, if not, I still like this poem. It's called Poem Roman Nummer 3 by George Hilbert. When I was a kid, A friend of mine and I found these poems which were called metaphysical poems. They were written by George Herbert and people like George Herbert and Francis Bond, not Francis Bond, Henry Bond, and these other metaphysical poets. But the thing about these metaphysical poets is since they were writing about metaphysics, they could write these poems which were apparently kind of sexy. Because this is just metaphysics, right? And you can say anything, right? could talk about, you know, going up into Jesus' whatever, you know, and, or, you know, Mary's whatever, and doing this and that with Mary, it was perfectly all right, because this is obviously metaphysical.

[13:29]

So you don't have to hold back. You can really get into all kinds of fleshy comments. This is a poem which is obviously about spiritual matters, and, but it's really got you know, some flesh in it. Love bade me welcome. This is about confession and repentance, okay? I feel. It's about this dynamic between the arrival of energy and the feelings of guilt and the teaching of dustness. That's my feeling about this. I like this poem, so I memorized it, but I'm not going to do it by memory so much today. Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back, guilty with dust and sin. But quick-eyed love, observing me grow slack from my first entrance in,

[14:39]

Sweetly questioned, sweetly questioning. No, drew near to me, drew near to me, sweetly questioning if I lacked anything. A guest, I said, worthy to be here. Love said, thou shalt be he. I, the unkind, the ungrateful? Ah, my dear, I cannot look on thee. Who made these eyes? But I, said love. truth, Lord, but I have marred them.

[15:52]

Let my shame go where it doth deserve. And no, you're not, says love, who for the blame. Then I will serve. Ah, my dear. You must sit down, says love, and eat my meat. So I did sit and eat. So she memorized this poem, and this was a poem she meditated on and supposedly had her great enlightenment experience. Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back guilty with dust and sin.

[17:00]

But quick-eyed love, observing me grow slack from my first entrance in, drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning if I lacked anything. A guest, I answered. worthy to be here. Love said, ye shall be he, I, the unkind, the ungrateful. Ah, my dear, I cannot look not thee. Who made these eyes but I? Love did reply, truth, Lord, that I admired them. Let my shame go where it doth deserve. And know you not, says love, who bore the blame. My dear, then I will serve. You must sit down, says love, and taste my meat. So I did sit and eat.

[18:07]

So I proposed to you that this is a story about what you have to go through in order to sit still. And that you're sitting still is not because you can sit still, but it's because of love. And love forgives you because love gives you your eyes in the first place. So even though you've marred them with your various behaviors, love gave you the eyes in the first place and love forgives you because love bears the blame. But you have to recognize the problem. This person who doesn't, who drew away has confessed. Okay, so next I come to the Bodhisattva practice of rejoicing in the merits of others. After you sit down and eat, after you feel forgiven, you will be able to, well,

[19:15]

you'll be able to really appreciate others. So Sumantabhadra says to children of Buddha, again, O noble-minded person, how should one rejoice at the merits and virtues of others? To do so, one should think the following way. In all the realm of Dharma and the realm of space in the ten directions, there are infinite Buddhas equal to the amount of infinite atoms throughout the Buddha domains in past, present and future. From the very first moment when they... Who are they? Infinite Buddhas. from the very first moment when these infinite Buddhas brought forth the thought of enlightenment and set their minds to attain all-knowing wisdom of the Buddha.

[20:27]

They have diligently practiced all spiritual deeds through eons of kalpas equal to the amount of infinite atoms throughout all Buddha domains. In each and every kalpa they have sacrificed an infinitude of heads, eyes, hands, feet, feet, in the fulfillment of the altruism of the Bodhisattva. They had performed all these arduous acts, fulfilled all the requirements of different paramitas, realized the various stages of the Bodhisattva's wisdom, accomplished the sphere of enlightenment of Buddha, and eventually had entered into parinirvana, with the acts of distributing your relics. In all these great acts of merit, I will emulate them and rejoice. Nay, I will rejoice in the merit or virtue of even though it be infinitesimal as a grain of dust.

[21:34]

that may be possessed by any being in any realm of the six worlds and four births, or any kind of existence in the ten directions throughout the universes. Again, all the shravakas, pratyekabuddhas, and thoroughly learned ones and partly learned ones with all such saints in the ten directions in three times, I rejoice at whatever merit they possess. The infinity the infinitely vast merits of bodhisattvas, their self-sacrifice and their courage in carrying through the most difficult acts of bodhi, their determination and perseverance in pursuing the Supreme Enlightenment. In all these immense merits, I will rejoice. My rejoicing in these merits will cease when the realm of space is ended. Or the karma, sorrows, and passion desires of all beings are in it. But since these are endless, so will be my rejoicing. Endless. Thought after thought, without interruption.

[22:38]

In bodily, vocal, and mental actions. Without becoming wearied or jaded. I won't give up. I won't grow up. I won't wear a hat. I won't believe what they say. I'll keep trying. I'll do this impossible thing like a silly kid would. I won't give up. So, rejoicing in the merits of elders is rejoicing in the incredibly vast merit and virtue of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, you know, who, you know, in the Avatavsak Sutra, I'm reading these long things about Bodhisattvas get their feet, their hands, their fingernails, their toes, their eyes, their ears, their nose, their tongue, their heads, their wives and children, their husbands. And they give the wives and children and husbands they love.

[23:42]

They give the stuff. And when the people come, when they see the people coming to get the stuff from them, to get their eyes, they see the people coming to ask for their skin, they overjoyed, they overjoyed these people who are coming to ask for their skin and their teeth and their fingernails. Well, this is kind of hard to understand, right? And it says again and again, when they give their fingernails and when the people take their heads or cut their skin off, they kneel before them and they say, please take it. I'm so happy. This is going to be so great that you're going to take this because I'm going to do you a little favor. I've been waiting to do you a little favor. Here, take my skin. And they don't go like this. They don't say, ooh, ah, ah, ooh, ah. They don't go like that, they go... When they take the fingernails off, they're joyous, they're relaxed. They say, here, take the next one. Here, I painted them this morning before you... When the people take these parts of their body, they're calm and relaxed and joyous and loving.

[24:53]

This isn't like, you know, you can take it. No, these people have got some kind of attainment, right? These are far out characters, these bodhisattvas. They have got patience. Down. All the way to the tips of their fingers, to the tips of their hair. They are patient. They can take anything. So that if people need anything, no problem. Fingernails, sure. Sure. If they're a king, my empire, fine, I'll be your servant, no problem. Whatever people need, they give it joyously, calmly. So, it's not, maybe you think about this, you could, this is amazing, wow, and this vow is to rejoice in the attainments of such creatures, and Buddhas, which are even beyond that. These are just like the workers for Buddha. So, this, but also, It is to rejoice in the infinitesimal merits and virtues of anything, of beings in hell.

[26:01]

Like if somebody in hell does the slightest favor for somebody else in hell. Or if somebody in hell, when they lash them, if they just don't get angry at that time for a second, there's a little tiny merit, there's a little tiny virtue. You rejoice in the tiniest ones and in the magnificent ones. All of them. And you never stop. So that's the spirit of this rejoicing. And rejoicing is, again, considered in Bodhisattva land, it's really this great, great practice of rejoicing in others. And you can also rejoice in yourself. That comes along with it. But mostly you sort of concentrate on others because there's a lot more up their marriage than yours. Do you know, everybody know what kalpa is? Anybody that doesn't know what kalpa is?

[27:02]

Well, I don't know what it is. But anyway, so there's kalpas and eons and stuff. And then there's virtues and merits. Virtue and merit are a little bit different. They're slightly different English words. And so when they say, usually when you see translations in English of virtue and merit, they're translating two Sanskrit words, which are Guna and Punya. Guna is usually translated as merit, I mean virtue. Guna means quality or a virtue of a person or of a person's practice. Virtue is actually quite a complicated word, especially if you look it up in a philosophical dictionary. But basically it means a quality, an excellent quality particularly a spiritual quality. It means goodness. It's related to the Latin root virtus, which means manly, or courageous, or strong.

[28:06]

And it's related to Sanskrit words like virya, which means courageous effort, and things like that. Nagawak, kuwa, kino, kudoku, huyokuo, huyokuo is virtue. The virtues of religious practice. And then the slightly different word is merit. Merit means more value or excellence, or it also means an aspect of a person's character deserving approval or disapproval. It also means spiritual credit granted for good works. It also means good fortune. taizai geida fuku muso fuku dene muso fuku dene muso means no marks fuku den fuku means a merit or a good fortune and den is a field and a is clothing literally it literally would be field

[29:15]

the clothing of the field of blessing, or the field of good fortune, which has no marks. Muso, no mark, blessing field, clothing. So the field of merit is the Buddha, the field is enlightenment, and all the people practice. So the the virtue or these good qualities of people, and also the merit, is that when people do good things, there's some benefit for them and others in the situation. So we're not only working, the Bodhisattvas and Buddhas are working for the benefit of other people, to save people from suffering, but also to, you know, clean the streams. And, uh, make the roads smoother, and build bridges so that people don't have a hard time crossing rivers, and grow flowers, and build lovely buildings.

[30:21]

And all the things you can do which make the world a healthier, more lovely, ecologically balanced thing too, those are also merits. Those aren't exactly qualities of spiritual practice. So you work to help the world and to save sentient beings. So these two kinds of things you're rejoicing over. And oftentimes they come together, of course, if someone has a lot of virtue and builds a nice building, or someone has a lot of virtue and cooks a good meal, or rules a garden, plants a garden. Mark went up to San Francisco, which is going to be the last time I went, and when I gave a talk at Green Gulch, I told myself, do not worry about Mark. Don't worry that he's heard this lecture before. Don't let him stop you from doing it over, because everybody else hasn't heard it.

[31:23]

So I gave the lecture that I gave here and there. Of course, it was a little different, but I was a little worried about repeating something to somebody that's already heard it, except that I know that it protects them from being jaded. So I'm not worried again to tell this story that I told when Mark was up there. And that is, it's a story about the fact that, about, I'll just tell the story and you can tell me what it's about. It's a story about Pablo Casals. Not Pablo Picasso or Pablo Neruda, but Casals. the cellist. So this young man, I forgot his name, I think he was a Polish cellist, and he did a recital for Pablo, and of course he was a little nervous playing in front of the great master, and he didn't do a very good job. Didn't exactly screw up, but he didn't do some of the stuff he really wanted to do for the

[32:28]

Teachers. You told us a story. What? I told you a story? Maybe it was a year ago. Oh, sorry. I have a bunch day. All right. Anyway, he did the recital and he didn't think he did a very good job because he was kind of tense or something. And then Casals was just like... How was Casals going? I was just in my... I was feeling so bored, I'm sorry. Anyway, Casals was very excited. exuberantly enthusiastic about what a wonderful recital the guy gave I'm going to sit later though I'll shut up let me get a punchline so anyway afterwards the guy felt kind of funny, felt disappointed because here he was having a chance to perform in front of the master he'd get some real feedback on his performance and all he got was this exuberant praise for a very sort of half-assed recitalist

[33:35]

And it bothered him. And then, I think maybe 10 years later, he met Casals again, and he got a chance to do another recital. And again, Casals was, you know, very enthusiastic in praising him. And afterwards, he went up to him and said, well, you know, thank you very much, sir. And he says, and I think he said something like, well, and that was a good recital too, by the way. You're right. But about 10 years ago, I gave a recital, and you were really exuberant, and you praised me, but I felt funny because I kind of screwed up. Gasol got actually kind of angry with him and said, I don't know the technical terms, but didn't you do this, you know, right? And didn't you do that, right? And didn't you approach this line, phrase that way? And didn't you do those things? He said, well, yes. He said, well, that was great. I leave it to fools to criticize people. My job is to praise what's good. and you did some good things and I really liked that."

[34:38]

And I say, well, if you're great like that, you can go around just praising people. But actually, everybody can do that. You don't have to be a super great something to praise people's merits. Even a stupid person can see people's merits. Everybody can see some merit, probably. But most people concentrate on people's faults. This is really foolish. So to see, infinitesimal, to rejoice, infinitesimal. If I look at each person, I can definitely see at least infinitesimal merit in all these people. Definitely. There's no problem. There's nobody who I don't see some infinitesimal merit in, really. Even my worst enemy has probably got more than infinitesimal merit, virtue. And then to rejoice in that and forget about the errors are false. Okay, that's his practice. And, yeah, that's practice.

[35:46]

It's a real practice. Yes? Well, one is just, if you can find a tiny one, do you find? I'll just tell you, this is, I'm telling you, this is the answer, okay? If you can find a tiny virtue in anybody, then rejoice in that. If you can find a big, whatever virtues you can already find, then rejoice in them. The rejoicing in the merits will give you more energy and open your eyes more. The more you rejoice and the more you see, the more you'll see.

[36:48]

The main practice is to do that practice, is to start doing it. And as you do it, you'll do it more and more. That's the main practice. Well, look for it, but also when you look for it, when you see it, rejoice in it. The rejoicing will then encourage you to look for it more because you'll not only find it, but you'll feel happy that you found it and rejoice in it. Then you'll be more likely to look again. That's one way to do it. Another way to do it... Did you want to say something? That's true. I think that's true, too. So this, it goes both ways. If you can practice non-discrimination, then you can do this practice better. If you can do this practice, you can do not practice non-discrimination. This practice is the practice of non-discrimination, and non-discrimination pays this practice. Also in the platform sutra, it says, if you are a person,

[37:53]

who truly practices the way, do not look at the ignorance in the world, for if you see the wrong of people in the world, you being wrong yourself will be evil. And what is it? Confucius says, if you see something good in people, emulate it. If you see some false in somebody, look at yourself. So if you see something good, praise it. The best way and one way to praise it is to try to be that way yourself. Emulate it. That's one great way of praising it. That's... With Ezekiel, my great praise of him was to try to be like him. Okay, so praise and rejoice at the merits of others. And if you see faults in people, if your eye gets off the track and you somehow can't help but see a fault, then when you see the fault, then turn, don't deny the fault, just turn around and look at yourself. Because you probably haven't been doing the previous practice of confession and repentance thoroughly.

[38:58]

If you do that more thoroughly, then when you look back out again, you probably again will see merit and virtue rather than faults. But again, if you see faults, don't deny that you see the faults, but see that you would have made fault. You're off when you see faults. So turn around. Okay? And look back here. and then go back to autographs. So back and forth. And if you see the merit, then don't just see it, rejoice in it. Yes? At this point, could you say something about the practice of talking to others if you're having a problem with how that shifts into confession, repentance, and turning your view back on yourself? Talking to others? Yeah, well, you know, I have a, you know, there's somebody who has a problem. Oh, okay.

[40:00]

All right. Did you have something? Yeah, that's what you said. That's what you said. That's what the Sixth Ancestor said. If you see faults in others, then you're wrong. If you see virtues in others, you're right. Buddha only sees virtues and merits in people. Buddha does not see anything wrong with anybody. If you see something wrong with somebody, you've got a problem. That's it. There's no exception to this in Buddha Dharma. The enlightened ones see the merits of others. They don't see the problems of others. Now, in relation to what Brian is saying, I trained as a Zen monk now for more than 20 years, and so if you people do anything, in the realm of Zen monkhood, you know, Zen forms, if you slightly deviate from certain expectations I have, I notice immediately.

[41:09]

You know, if the bell they hit a little bit off, or I do things off too, I notice them right away. If the lights are a little bit different than I'm used to, like even if the, you know, anything off from what I think is most beautiful, I notice like that in 10 directions in three times. Okay? But when I notice those things, if I'm wrong, I don't think anybody did anything wrong. I don't. I think, oh, now I have a chance to relate to somebody. These little things are ways to help people. They're not the people that are doing things wrong. These don't aren't, you know. They're learning these don't aren't things. When they start out, the first half of the practice period, or sometimes the whole practice period, they just make all these things. these behaviors that are different from the standard form. But this is not, I do not, if I'm awake, if I'm in the right state of mind, I never see them making any wrong.

[42:16]

I just see opportunities to relate to them. When I was a young monk and Suzuki Roshi taught me things, I never ever felt like I did anything wrong. And the more I practiced these pre-spawns, I felt like I was putting myself out where he could relate to me. I learned the chants not to do them perfectly, but so that he could talk to me about the way I was chanting. It's a media, it provides media for expedience. So if you've got a problem with somebody, you think there's something wrong with them, the only reason to talk to them, Brian, is to tell them something about yourself, which is a great gift. So you should tell people about yourself, but you don't talk to other people about their faults. That's completely off. You tell other people about how they affect you. They keep telling you not about your faults, either you're just telling them about yourself.

[43:19]

You can say, for example, when you hit the bell the other day, that hurt me. It was to this kid in such a way that I felt pain. But if you feel like you're criticizing them, there's something wrong with them when you say that, you shouldn't say that to them because this is not correct. You're just ramifying your own delusion. But to tell someone that they hurt you is good information if you don't really feel like they did anything wrong. Like if Brian steps on my foot unconsciously, I don't think he did something wrong, but I'll tell him that he did it. Because he should know that he's stepping on my foot and that it hurts, if it hurts. If it doesn't hurt, I might not tell him. But I still might tell him just because I want him to know that he is stepping on my foot and I think he doesn't know it. Any other questions about that, Brian? Does that make sense? Well, it looks... ...all the time so he could see it and then he could comment on it.

[44:22]

And I haven't always been able to follow that way of basically commenting on form as a gift, but that's the way I recommend. And if somebody's bothering you, that hurts you, it's okay to tell them they hurt you. As a matter of fact, it's a gift to tell them that they hurt you, but not because they did something wrong by hurting you. If you think they did something wrong, wait until you get rid of that idea. If you think they did something wrong, turn that. turn the thing back on yourself until you can see that all that happened really was that you got hurt and then you made a judgment. The judgment of their error is something that you need to work on. Your judgment is evil. But the fact that they hurt you, that's true, and they probably should know. And you telling them that they hurt you without any judgment against them is a gift. you're thinking you're so vulnerable to them. You're telling them that they have power in your life.

[45:25]

And also, if you tell them after you've put aside and overcome your false impression, your own erroneous thinking, then you give it and they can feel that this is just kindness. So that's what I think is a very good practice to do, both of those things. And that's not a case necessarily of rejoicing in the merits of others. When you tell someone to hurt you, that's not necessarily rejoicing in your merits. But in a way, it's rejoicing in your own merit that you can be kind enough to go out of your way to tell someone the effect they had on you so that they could be more aware of their power in your life than other people's lives. Yes? I think it's terrific that you can notice all the deviations from your previous experience and not become irritated most of the time.

[46:30]

In fact, I think that's so terrific that I don't have a platform. I've become, I notice so much judging in my daily practice that I would feel a little bit like it's hopeless. That I can wiggle and [...] still have this. So that seems to be a feeling in addition to the death and the doubt. Yeah. I suppose there's no reason to stop wiggling. What is the whittling? The whittling you did is practice, you know, judging. No, it's not... I don't recommend that you practice not judging. I recommend that when you do judge, you turn it around. That's what I... I haven't always been able to do this. When I was your age, old you? Yeah, when I was your age, I was at Doha, actually. And I was in the first group of Dawns at Tasahara.

[47:33]

And, yeah, that was when I was a Dawn, when I was your age. And I wasn't, I was like, I was not, I was irritated with these things at that time. But 20 years of turning around has some effect. 20 more years, probably, probably, you know, I probably won't get angry at all anymore. I won't get irritated at all, you know. I'll just always feel joyous when somebody does me the kindness of showing me some way to relate to them. But 20 years is, you know, it has, you know, you can get into it a little bit. But I was irritated and judgmental about these things when I was 24. Well, I guess I was saying when I do turn it around, I just get a little. I think it's really, it's so much worse. Yeah, well then, that's right. Exactly.

[48:35]

That's what I mean. That takes you back to the previous stage. Then you're in repentance and resolution again. And then you say that poem. And know that love forgives you. Love forgives you. Love gave you the eyes to see this in the first place. You've got to see this about yourself in order to be able to clean yourself up in order to then be able to see how wonderful else people are. So again, this practice, if you have trouble doing this practice, then that sends you back to the previous practice, that you have to work more on confession and repentance. either formally or just through the feel of pain of that kind of thing. The pain of being petty. You don't like to be petty. You want to be magnanimous. And that's part of what a monster is about.

[49:37]

A monster is to get a taste of how petty you yourself are and to feel how terrible that is and then to be forgiven for it. And over the years you'll gradually, your eyes will open up little by little to how wonderful everybody is. And not everybody is the same. Some people have unbelievable, you know, blinding virtue. Other people have just a little bit compared to them. But a little bit is really beautiful. Sometimes it's really beautiful to see a little tiny bit of virtue in certain people. It's an explicit, just to see a little jewel there in this certain texture. Do you still have a question? Is it still there? It's still there, but I don't know if it's appropriate anymore. I was just reading an interview with Joanna Macy, which talks about children and religion, which are allowed to try to be perfect.

[50:50]

It's just a reflection of what we have as a relation. But as we get more and more and more, we can think about If possible, I'm just about to be perfect because if you have to cut, you have to cut the neck. Or you can be perfect if you can see how wonderful other people are. Right. Well, it's the same. Yeah. Right. To make me perfect first will never work. If I want to be perfect, I better start about here. Once I've got everybody else perfect, I'll be OK. In fact. The people we see are surrounded by perfect beings, they're pretty good. Buddha actually saw everybody was perfect. Really did. I mean, not holding back at all, Buddha saw everybody was replete with all the wisdom and compassion and qualities and virtues, the wisdom and virtues of the Buddha.

[51:57]

Buddha saw that in everybody. But Buddha also saw people don't People don't believe that because their attitudes, you know. So that's why this is a great practice. And if you slip, step back one step. You can't do that one step back. Keep stepping back. You pretty soon you'll wind up in front of the practice that you couldn't do. Yes? I think I was wondering what they were saying now. To do what? To do it like this. When you don't have what energy? When you don't have what energy? When you don't have what energy?

[52:59]

When you don't have what energy? [...] were, well, I can't just really resolve it so I can do it. And I said, what keeps happening is that if I'm supposed to do these practices and continue to say that I don't like the new things, the more I think of it, the more I'm happy about it. I said, yeah, what was that? I couldn't understand that being said. Yeah, so you're saying, some people say, actually, I remember one of my, again, when I was first trying to practice, one of my playmates was a guy who had trouble saying the vows because, I mean, he actually, I think, didn't say them because he couldn't.

[54:04]

And I've seen that a number of times. People do not say them because they say, well, I can't really do that. I can't really say vows into beings, so I'm not going to say I'm going to. In that case, I would still recommend that you say so, that you say them anyway. Just like someone who says, well, I'm not going to say, for example, the disciple of the Buddha does not kill. And then you said, even after applying Buddhahood, will you continue to follow this precept? And they said, well, I don't know if I will, so I'm not going to say yes. I think you should say yes. I mean, if you can say yes, say yes. I agree. And if you think, well, maybe I won't be able to, So maybe I shouldn't say yes. And I say, go ahead, say it. If you can say yes, say it. Okay? So I think I agree with you, but there's a little twist there. Okay, the twist is that I'm saying to you, you're saying, you're hearing me say, don't say blah, blah, unless you really feel it.

[55:08]

Okay? You think I'm saying that. I'm saying it's silly to say you don't really feel it. Yes. But I'm not saying don't say it unless you really feel it. I'm saying say it and really feel it. And I'm saying it's silly not to really feel it. So I say say it and when you say it you say I will not do any more evil. Say you won't. Definitely go ahead. And if you think Well, I won't be able to. That's a different thing. Put that aside. And when you say it, say I won't do it and say I'm not going to do it. Say I did it, I don't like it, and I'm not going to do it. So I'm not saying that you shouldn't say it. I'm saying you should say it. I'm saying you should say it with whole heart. And when you say the word, you should say it with your whole heart. And if part of you says I'm not wholehearted about it, put that aside and just talk about the part that's saying it wholehearted. That's what I'm saying. And some part of you is saying it wholeheartedly, right?

[56:13]

I told that story about that German woman, Irmgard Schlegel. She's a German woman who went to Japan and practiced Zen. She always felt it really weird to bow. And she was bowing one time, I think. She was bowing one time, and she said to herself, I think this is ridiculous, but somebody's bowing like hell. There's somebody who's... But if you don't say it, if you say, I'm not going to say the vow, then you don't say it. But if you say, I vow to save all sentient beings, somebody's actually saying that. Somebody's saying, I vow to save all sentient beings, I'm going to do that. Somebody's actually saying those words. Somebody else may say, well, I don't know about that. Well, forget about that. Just concentrate on the one who actually is going to do it. And that's not even a want, but concentrate on that spirit. That's all. That's not silly at all. What's silly is to let the feeling that you're not going to do it, but you can't do it, let that take over and stop you from appreciating your true nature.

[57:20]

That's what I'm saying. I think that's what the six ancestors are saying, too. You should be engaged in your own practice. Don't see right or wrong in others. If one is a true practicer of the way, one will not see false in others in the world. That's . One who practices steadfastness does not see false in the people everywhere. This is the steadfastness of your true nature. If people practice and cultivate imperturbability They ignore the mistakes and defects of others. Their nature is thus not perturbed. So when we see the faults in others, we are perturbed. We feel upset. We feel bad.

[58:22]

OK, well, I'd like to give one more lecture now. OK. So make yourself comfortable. I'd like to draw together here. This is right out of the same thing, but it's more in terms of, you know, and Zen and stuff like that. And that is, the sixth ancestor of Zen said, What is it in this teaching that we call a zazen? Sitting then.

[59:31]

In this teaching, sitting means without any obstruction anywhere. Outwardly, and under all circumstances, not to activate thoughts. Sitting means outwardly, wherever outwardly it is, not to activate any thoughts. No thought activity of objects. No thought of objects. No object of thought. That is to be, that is what sitting means. Sitting means to have no object of thought.

[60:34]

It means that in regard to upward things, if I see Noreen, if I see Gail, these are upward things, right? When I see them, no thought is activated. That means no object of thought. It doesn't mean there's nothing out there. It means that when you see an object, that's it. There's no further activity. There's no object of thought. Meditation, or Zen, means that inwardly to see true nature and to not be confused. But of course, if you look inwardly and you see an object there, then your mind is not activated over the inner nature that we see either.

[61:36]

You can turn inwardly into outwardly that way. So inwardly means, again, not an object. Another translation. In this method, to sit means to be free from all obstacles. and externally not to allow thoughts to arise in the mind over the sphere of objects. To meditate means to realize the imperturbability of your original nature. Buddha said to one of his disciples, you must train yourself thus. In the scene, in what you see, there will just be the scene. In the scene, there will just be the scene.

[62:41]

In the herd, there will just be the herd. In the cognizant, there will just be the cognizant. In the reflective, there will just be the reflective. You see that same thing? In the scene, there's just the scene. In other words, in the scene, there's no thought activity that arises on that occasion. There's just the scene. Here's Buddha recommending that the practice of an objectless awareness and no thought of objects or no objects of thought Then he explains a little bit. Now, when in the seed there will be just the seed, and in the herd, just the herd, and in the cognized, just the cognized, then you will not identify yourself with it.

[63:43]

In other words, you see something, and it's just the seed. You don't identify with it. But if there is a scene and then there's a thought that arises, some thought activity on the occasion of seeing, then you identify with it. But if there is just the seeing when there's a seeing, you will not identify it with yourself. When you do not identify yourself with it, you do not locate yourself in it. When you do not locate yourself in it, it follows that you will have no here Or there, or in between. And this would be the end of suffering, the Buddha. And Gaurita Genji says, the sound of the valley streams enters the ear. The light curses the eyes. Outside this, no thought.

[64:47]

Buddha also said, when you approach the Vaiskandas, which means again, when you approach color, when you approach feeling, or, of course, if color approaches you or feeling approaches you, then Color, feeling, conception, emotions and consciousness are pots of misery. The five skandhas come at you or you go at the five skandhas, they are sources of misery. In other words, you see something and then your thought is to go at it or it comes at you. There's further thought. But if there's no approach to these events, then these very events become bliss thoughts.

[65:57]

If you don't approach the sound, it becomes a source of bliss. Not approaching the sound is the same as when you hear something outside, there's no thought in addition to that hearing. So Dogenes says, you use the five skandhas. You use colors, and sounds, and thoughts, and feelings. You use them, only them, to realize Buddha. So you do use your experience. But you never approach your experience, and your experience never approaches you. It's just the experience. Yes? Exactly. When myriad things advance and confirm themselves, that's it. It isn't that myriad things advance and confirm themselves and you go along with it. Or they come to you then. Just things advancing forward and confirming themselves.

[67:02]

Just sounds being sound. A sound happening. A sight happening. For all these things to happen. That's enlightenment. That's the end of suffering. It's not that you approach them. It's not that you identify with them. It's not that you locate yourself on them. We don't do that. And therefore, that's the end of suffering. Yes? I need an example just here in . Don't try to be empty. Nobody said that's extra too. It isn't that you hear my voice and then you try to be empty.

[68:02]

You hear my voice. That's what you do anyway. You always hear my voice when I talk. But just let it be that, and then don't do anything more. That's what's recommended. Don't try to be empty when you hear my voice. Or don't try to stop your judgment when you hear my voice. OK? Dōgizangī, another translation of what Han Dajjaku just said is, when To witness and act from the advent of things is enlightenment. So if I talk, that's the advent of something, of sound to you. To witness that sound, that's it. That's enlightenment. Just to witness that sound.

[69:03]

In other words, for the sound to be the sound, that's enlightenment. That's the end of suffering. But it's interesting that he translated it as to witness and act from the advent of things. Okay? So, when I say boo, it's just boo. And that's all that happens for you. Okay? You're there witnessing that advent. And you're acting from that advent. In other words, as soon as I say boo, you say hi! Or I got a question. Or let's take a walk. Or shut up. You know? The point is, you don't just sit there like a log. or you do sit your life long, and then you're just long. And the next moment, who knows what you'll do? You'll do something. You might hear another sound. You might scratch your nose. You might lift your eyebrows. A life flows from that, okay? A life flows from sounds being just sounds and thoughts being just thoughts. You act from there.

[70:04]

So it's not that you don't do anything, you don't learn anything. You learn a lot. But you learn from things being what they are rather than you being separate from them and looking over there at them and getting all entangled in identification and location and attachment and all that. People act from that too. But acting from that is delusion and misery. But to act from no objects of thought or to act from the seeing being seen To act from the sound entering the ear, to act from there is enlightenment. You learn a lot. That's how you learn. You learn other ways too, but what you learn in those cases is not very helpful. And you may be able to tell, I believe this teaching.

[71:10]

I believe this is the teaching of Buddha. I believe this is the teaching of the sixth ancestor. I believe this is the teaching of Dogen Zebji. I believe this is the teaching of Suzuka Hiroshi. And I also believe this is the teaching of George Herbert and Simone Bata. It's the teaching of enlightenment coming out all over the place. It's everywhere. It's in you, too. It's your teaching, too. It's what you're already doing. It's really the way you are. I believe it. And the more I believe it, the more I practice it, and the more I practice it, the more I believe it. And I don't really believe it completely yet, because I don't really practice it completely yet. But the more I practice it, the more I believe it, the more I believe it, the more I practice it, and so on. That's the idea that this ain't for you. The more I see you practicing it, the happier you look. And the more inspired I am by you, the less you practice it, the more I wonder what I'm doing. I don't criticize you when you're not taking care of yourself as well as you could.

[72:20]

And look at what I'm doing, if I'm inspiring you to do the right thing. Because when you don't take care of yourself, well, it hurts me. And then I think, I don't criticize you, but I look at my own practice then. And you give me an opportunity to work on my practice. If you're taking care of yourself well, well then I don't have to take care of my practice because I already am taking care of my practice because I can see how wonderful you are. And in fact, you're fine for the time being. It's not exactly a break though for me because I get to do this other practice called saying yay. The practice of saying, yay, saying, hey, yay, Al, tip it up. Hang in there. But if I see people hurting themselves, it does hurt me.

[73:27]

You know, if I see somebody gouging their flesh, it hurts me to see that. But then I think, oh, now what am I doing? And then how'd my practice that this person can gouge flesh right in my face? Maybe I say, somebody's got to say, well, how's my practice? Flesh gouging. Well, that's pretty good. Pretty good. But you can do more better. And I'm going to keep gouging my flesh out until you get it together. It's true. People will keep suffering until you get it together. people keep looking sad sadder and sadder until you get it together to see how wonderful they are and then to use their sadness in such a way as to somehow you know say well actually we do it this way you know the way we're sad is actually we turn the lips like this a little bit more turn it like this you know you take people's sadness as an opportunity to teach them

[74:43]

more, but they probably, you know, the really interesting way, not the really interesting way, but it's an opportunity to show your love. But you can't show your love if you think there's something wrong with them, because you can't be rarely blinded. See, because they're wrong with them. So when you're blind, you know, get your eyes back. When you've got them back, then you can go to work with them. But we do get blind quite frequently because thoughts are activated about external things. We don't just let external things be external things. We don't just let the seed be the seed. So then the mind goes, and then we identify and get all tangled up. So then we're helpless. and not helpless to ourselves and to others. So then we have to turn around, take the backward step, and I'll lap. So now we can have a little break and set a period as often.

[76:00]

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