Buddha Dharma Wants To Be Criticized

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A virtual Dharma talk by Tenshin Roshi for an online gathering of the No Abode Community.

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great to see new
so here we are
and i acknowledge that
some of us had not met in person for many years as nice to see your faces
ah time
i to start today by
mentioning something that has struck me recently
which as on light

an unrelated thing i want to talk about his
the characterization of this
which people call then the characterization has a special transmission
that doesn't depend on words or letters

that characterization can be expanded but i want to focus on
the part about not depending on words and letters

i was reading a scripture
and the name of the scripture is of brahma net scripture and in that scripture there's a list of bodhisattva precepts which are the source of the bodhisattva precepts that we
take care of and transmit
in this particular lineage
i was reading the beginning of that scripture and it said that on
the buddha in the midst of a great assembly like this
emitted a light
there was a heading above that sexual the sutra called
adam nature
and it just struck me that oh yeah we don't usually think of a light as an admonition or as a teaching
but in this scripture a first thing that the than occurs is that the the buddha emits a light gives off transmits a light
of course is light doesn't have any words or letters in it and this light touched many living beings and when it touch them they could all see each other
innumerable beings were touched by the light and innumerable beers could then see each other and they could see all the buddhas to
and they felt great joy
saw this there was a trend there was an emission and a transmission
between the buddha and sentient beings that gave rise to great joy and great vision
and again a when i read i thought oh yeah that's that's this supposedly transmission without depending on words and phrases
and then also i thought at that time of the lotus sutra which also starts out
the for early in the scripture describing the buddha emitting from a tuft
of hair between the eyebrows emitting a light
and this light ah
illuminated eighteen thousand buddha lands in the eastern direction and everything in those buddha lands and again
when this illumination occurred beings were filled with joy and
no this is a characterization of the buddha's teaching
as light for the buddha dharma as light or you could say of zen practice as the transmission of light
and before i go farther
i want to also mention that i remember reading one in in ozan text it said

we test the depth of water with a poll
we text the depth of the mind with words
so this this buddha dharma light
which is
illuminating all beings right now
and giving them joy
or yup
invoking and evoking great joy this this light we test the depth of it with words it's not words and yet we test the depth of it with words
or another way to say it is
we realize it and we verify it
with verify what doesn't depend on words i conversations
by criticism

i also recently read that nature said supposedly course he said it in german this is an english translation nature said
great truth
wants to be criticized
not idolized

the lot delight a buddha dharma wants to be criticized not idolized
and i think of
for example we had a teacher here named suzuki roshi name suzuki who recalled suzuki roshi and i never felt that he wanted to be idolized
i didn't really feel like exactly he wanted to criticize but i did feel like he wanted to be questioned
and also by coincidence i wanted to question him
and he he and he
he always seemed to be up for my questions it wasn't like on not more questions he seemed to want to be questioned
so there's a difference between being devoted to the teachings being devoted to the light a good is teaching
and idolizing it
the light is calling for a mutual
our face to face transmission
it seems like the light is being emanated are sent to us but really the reason is sent to us is because we're asking for it and after we get it we can question it
we can criticize it
the buddha dharma is light that is calling
for criticism buddha dharma
is calling to criticize itself
part of devotion to the light is asking questions

and as pointer stories of flood my consciousness
you know not in a dangerous way right now just
generously flooding my consciousness or like
a tied a tide of stories is ebbing in the consciousness and in one of our
most frequently studied collection of stories in our school
which we call the book of serenity
the first story
says it is called the buddha ascends the seat
and it starts off by saying
one day the buddha or send us ascended the seat
the boy got up on the seat a buddha dharma and sat

it didn't say and a light emanated from the border
i would suggest to you that the buddhist sitting there is the light of the buddha dharma
at the buddha gives light so they're all fear and distress may be forsaken
and disperses the gloom and darkness of delusion
when the fear and distress has been forsaken we're ready then to question and criticize
to enquire to dialogue with this light
and saw then manjushri three the body sought by wisdom strikes the gavel and says clearly observe now the words go
the buddha has transmitted the dharma
with the og depending on words or letters and then manager she starts speaking
to demonstrate
to verify
what has been given without words and he uses a mallet
and up sounding block and he uses words and says clearly observe
the dharma of the sovereign of dharma clearly observe it
the dharma the sovereign of dharma is thus

it's a special transmission which you have just received
this was been judged the
to prove depth
that this light had reached at the first case in the book of serenity
starting with the transmission of light and then i testing of the transmission with some words
and since that time words have continued to
be used
to verify this transmission
and then we have another text in our tradition called the transmission of light
by one of the people in our lineage
a fourth ancestor in the japanese part of our
case on giochi di show
his book is called transmission of light and the first case
in that record
the buddha in the midst of a great assembly like this
raises a flower and twirls it
and one of the students smiled
here again the light is transmitted the latest emanated
the student is illuminated the teacher is illuminated all beings are illuminated and maha kashipur the student
on the buddha smiled
then the buddha taught
and a buddha said
that the treasury of true dharma eyes has just been transmitted to my kashipur
but that was an announcement after the transmission to verify it
and then another story
also in the book of serenity case number seven
another one of our ancestor's name ja schon
he was
the teacher of a big monastery and he hadn't gone up and sat on the dharma seat for a long time so the director
the monastery
went to him and
requested that he gave a talk
or that he give teaching i should say he didn't say talk i said that he would give teaching i believe it did not say
it did not say that he would talk

yeah please come and expound the teaching he said
the asha i went to the hall the teaching hall got up in the seat
like shakyamuni buddha did in the first case of the book of serenity got up in the seat
and then got off the seat and went back to his room
and the director went to his room his head teacher you we invited you to teach but you you didn't he didn't say anything and you went burn it back to your room and josh allen said
the teacher for searchers that are teachers of the searches for scriptures that are teachers of the scriptures
for treatises and commentaries there are teachers of the treatises and commentaries
tam behind you it very interesting show is going on

yeah i guess it's a cat going under the blankets is that right
it's my dog he likes to tomorrow didn't like it of dogs burrowing under the blankets that's the way he wants to listen more carefully that this transmission let's not me admission
enough of that bodhidharma thank you very much
excellent at first it looked like a skunk but no
so anyway are
yeah shaun
why not sadness he got down went back to his roamed the director says we asked the teaching you didn't say anything and he says
there's teachers for the scriptures as teachers for the commentaries
how why do you question me
now when he says that i i think actually he liked the direct your question but still he asked why how the question he actually said how do you question this old monk
so again
there's a difference between being devoted to the teaching and idolizing it buddha dharma is criticizing buddha dharma the light criticizes the light
the great buddha dharma
is sometimes presented as a system
our teachings
but that system
is calling
to be questioned
as an unquestioning as an act of devotion
to what is being questioned
sometimes in the past in classes or other venues people have questioned me or criticize me and afterwards i heard that day they were much
they they were challenged her criticized for questioning
but i want to be questioned
not that i'm a great truth but great truth wants to be question and i wanna be like the great truth
and the systems of of a buddha dharma the sisters of teaching are dangerous because my shitty yeah i'll just say dangerous or criticize him but that common dangerous because people might not feel invited to challenge
to question to criticize the system
but buddha dharma the great buddha dharma
invites and wants to be criticized
it it wants to
not be absolute tides
it wants to be fully alive through this transmission
it's not just something sitting there it's a living transmission that thrives on dialogue
and part of what i feel about this practice in the boot away of questioning the buddha away
is that we learn how to question and criticize and challenge
in the context a deep respect and devotion
not that we challenge what we disrespect
not that we question what we think is worthless
we questioned what we think is most wonderful
and what is most wonderfully true wants that
in this way we learn how to question
what is most wonderful
and then we can use are questioning skills we can use our critical skills and apply it to other systems
for example
systems of oppression
systems of injustice
political systems legal systems living systems
all interconnected networks of all things
are caught really in their truth are calling to be criticized
probed questioned
so part of what this particular cleaning in buddha dharma is to learn how to question
how to interrogate how to investigate as an act of deep devotion and respect
so we can apply that to area will be used
where we see injustice we can route we can relate to injustice respectfully and out of devotion for living beings and of devotion for truth we question the appearance of injustice
the light of buddha dharma
helps us understand ourselves and helps us understand others
the light of the buddhist dharma helps us do justice to ourselves and do justice to others
and even to do justice to systems of injustice and to do justice
two systems of oppression
if there's a system of oppression and it is trees treated unjustly it just feeds the system
of oppression oppression is nourished by disrespect
injustice is promoted by disrespect
but it is liberated by profound
devotion to the light of wisdom and the welfare of all beings in the whole system

once again i had this familiar feeling of on
i didn't really say anything but as already been going on for a long time
so i will i think i put enough on the table for us to have a feast
so you're welcome now too
criticize me
interrogate investigate me but also interrogate the teaching which has been offered
okay ready will get set barry
in our opening we talked about of a verify buddha
who verifies the buddha how does a buddha get verified did you hear the question great assembly
who verifies the buddha
well i would say a buddha
but not just a buddha
but a buddha in dialogical relationship with another buddha
so the lotus sutra starts out by saying the buddha gave off this great light
so beams could see each other and do justice to each other but then lit up and then the next chapter it says only a buddha together with a buddha
can fully verify
the buddha dharma
so it isn't exactly that the buddha is verified by a buddha but the buddha in conversation
with a buddha verifies both sides
and the conversation couldn't clough buddha number one being questioned by buddha number two
are being challenged by buddha number two are being invited to dance with buddha number two
it's not selected this buddha verifies that buddha but rather than being together verifies
the that respond properly to your question barry
yes do you have a further aspect to that question
it just the whole idea of well who decides who is a burn the conversation decides
the conversation decides
like you're dancing with someone which part it's as two people dancing which partner decides that they're dancing
the answer is neither side decides which in the dance decides the dance

otherwise you there would be a tendency to if you substantiate a reapply one side of the relationship
and lot of people do say the teacher decides that the student understood
i kind of scam if i wouldn't necessarily i would criticize at that view which a lot of people have the teacher decides that the student understands i would say the teacher agrees that the student understands because of the cairo conversation they're having together
the teacher can't to stay inside that this teacher may be understands the student is buddha but the teacher can't understand can realize that until the teacher and student have a certain kind of conversation so the conversation decides the situation
the transmission decides not one half of the transmission
does that work for you barry i'm i'm gonna think about that thank you you're welcome
an and and then delfina
in hear me
my can walk
i'm thank you this isn't really one time and light my question has to do with light and is it like light like the light you can see kind of in the peripheral like flickr or is it as a kinesthetic does it leave an impression on the body does it have he does it huh
have on
does it have matter or love in it
one how would you describe what that light is when you're being in it i would say this light is this light is matter it is matter it doesn't have met in it it is matter if not like it's not like met is one thing in the lights another it is compassion
however it's beyond hearing and seeing
so out in your heart you don't feel it in the body exactly you might have a feeling of it but the feeling of it is not yet
what what it is is is you understanding yourself when you understand yourself and when you understand others when you when you have a a way to relate to others justly that way that's the light functioning in you but that might not
no the lights magnet delight in the room i go out when you start treating people are justly it's not something you see with your eyes or ears however it is the just way of relating to what you see with your eyes and here with your ears and feel in your heart and feel in your gut all the phenomena
a world is calling for justice and this light is when we are being just with any phenomenal thing so if you feel warm if you feel kind
this light is treating that kindness in that warmth
if you feel cold and you feel pain
this light is to relate to that cold in that pain just play
and not in our free of your judgments
justice requires that were free of our judgments
just judgments require freedom from judgment
the freedom of judgment comes
from devotion to judgments which is devotion to living beings living beings have judgments
that's normal
more by moment judgment judgment judgment living beings same thing
devotion to living beings respect for living beings includes
criticizing and questioning and in that way wait
we read we receive and verify the light and the like which we are given by the teaching allows us to understand others and
and do justice to them
whether you no matter what you feel or think or i said no matter what or with whatever you'd feel and thick and we feel and think lots of difficult things these days were having a really hard time in this world
all those things are opportunities
for the practice
for the transmission
of the light
all those things are opportunities for understanding what we're feeling what other people are feeling
how we're judging ourselves however judging others
these are opportunities for the transmission which doesn't depend on words
okay okay just one fellow question in mean it sounds like what you're describing is that be appropriate like a metre relationship to all phenomena moving isn't of a certain light but i guess my question is an a level of and open and
attended i didn't hear it you said he said the matter relationship and there's there's an a t t a and then there's an etf and against the matter image gladly both it's like it's both of his matter and matter my guy friends are like i don't let that sounds to me like on
ida wisdom level but i didn't like i guess on an embodiment level like
i guess that it's
well when you talk when you talk it's there's embodiment so that's
the love delight when the light reaches your body or you can your body can be tested with words
so the dirt the light shines is some people but maybe they haven't yet fully allowed it to be embodied and that may show in the way they respond to verbal questions like for example if the light really fills your body and mind you are welcoming questions
you welcome people questioning when you think is going on if the light is fully inhabiting you
so that's not where you show you that it's embodied by you
you know you might be in pain but your pain what perks up when questioned

i noticed
when you it we're inviting are talking about welcoming criticism
and on the the value of that that my body softened and fell on
ah i just fell invited in more somehow so i think my body felt safe feel safer
in a kennel
general way and then you know when i raised my hand hes wanna speak i i noticed a lot of energy
maybe even some fear and just saying it would ah
so i i just think i'm i i i really want it i'm really taking in what you're saying and and i really thank you for that and i'm i'm i'm i'm sitting with it and welcoming the
the energies of my fear of conflict or of questioning authority and my deep desire to engage in that
yeah thank you it's good to see you and hear you read
i thank you for thank you for your receiving and working with what you received

thank you read
my question is about our
verifying buddha as you were showing the questioning and answer
ah buddha questioning buddha
i'm just wondering if buddha can ever be verified otherwise in my mind when something's clearly very fine
at least in my mind there would be no questioning and answering after that so in my mind i think buddha is not been verified that's why i keep i keep coming with these questions and
trying to ah
to reach if you call it to that space that it just is
the i verified that sounds like there might be an after
yes to me it it does feel like i would save for the time being forget about after the verified is the crying and the present
ah ok then that makes sense or contract and think they will
well i guess they had a number of questions that i'm one of the questions that comes to me as about how to practice refuge how is it too
have just taken refuge in buddha
did you say what is taking refuge in butter you see how to take refuge in border how is it to take refuge in buddha in our in practice that we are aspiring to practice a question is a good way

ah and also what is buddha is a good way
and who is buddha is both a good way and upon

all more about that pardon could you say more about that con well who is buddha is the world honored one is border age or doubt w angel
the world honored one is buddha it's upon
so i i i'm a hearing right now i'm hearing you offering that continually questioning is the way as a refuge is morally questioning his way of practicing only be practicing religion and taking refuge in buddha is can
it is wondering how to take refuge in gear and all scope also opening to the irony a buddha
as part of taking refuge in border could you say more about the irony of buddha yacht to like some people love my wish like somebody's up as aspire to buddha
and they may understand that they have not yet fully realize buddhahood
and maybe they have a the maybe they even notice a lack of faith and practice
a buddha's teaching which they confess and repent
and they hear that that's the pure and simple color of true practice of the buddha way
the notice that the
in a way they haven't really realize what they aspire to
but there's an ironic aspect to it also which is as you become more mature here you're more able to live in a state of suspended judgment or not even estate you're willing to tolerate suspended judgment
that your
maybe your practice hasn't quite reach buddhahood yet but uke also suspend their judgment a little bit or quite a bit
you understand and other words as you become more mature that you don't actually know what you're aspiring to
and the funny thing is the irony is that we aspire to something which we don't really know what it is
and that's to know that is to see the ironic the irony in the boot away to miss the irony of buddha away isn't a fully
a fully charged buddha battery
no i'm wondering in terms of making an expression right now you know about refuge and think wanted a thing said asserting to comes in is the irony that refuges and not a thing that refuges in a way no refuge on i hadn't leaves you
more any just a very dynamic open on
nothing to hold to no refuge are continually taking refuge in out
and if you're devoted and being devoted to going for refuge includes
inviting and wanting people to criticize the wired going for refuge
hey amanda are you going for refuge today
how's the refuge have the rapid going today amanda
while oliver welcome welcome here i welcome your questions of my refuge taking hey man are you really seem to welcome my criticism of your refuge taken i do i really do i thank you so much isn't that funny that i do yeah how how'd you how did how isn't for you that now brown
you know
let's see who anybody on sir
dennis and yes dennis
i read hello dennis nice to see you i think i see you i think i hear you you think you do rio i think zero maybe you do maybe a man jewish roots hammer is working through so
and i appreciate that said
we zoom helps us bring words to the buddha dharma know
so my question criticism i guess is how do we bring criticism how do we bring a question i'm aware that
my ancestors before me kept the buddha dharma and all systems on networks alive
yeah i can continue to keep it alive and dynamic by questioning
but to have that to be changed by and to change it
is there a way to bring the question to bring the criticism to better best facilitate the
exchange of changing in being changed
well a little blip went up in my consciousness when you said best
best sounds a bit much for me maybe i figure that out myself i'm just
i decide to he wrote them in order to be best just just criticize and i your practice and a criticize the buddhist practice criticize the british teaching and also criticized by noticed by and by
contemplating whether you are being criticized
have you been criticised recently in your practice yes would you get really would you give me the most recent example oh golly
try this i just did it
did you notice me do it yes would i say did you asked me a question about how i am chris how my practices chris smith which is which is criticizing my practice it is when i ask you to how your credit when i ask you about your practice i just criticized
your practice gift but i i hope i did it respectfully and on a devotion for your practice i hope that's what i wonder how i want a croissant you
and if nobody does if you don't notice any criticism married say watch out
god is he would call the are the the practice eer say i'm nobody's criticizing military in my missing something

so what if
we question
in criticize
and our criticisms are not hurt if we have a teacher we criticize and the feedback we get
his defensive defending itself whether it's buddha dharma or the justice system or the education system or our system of government
how do we then bring our question
oh basically ask another question
like for example i are you make make a statement said say i have this dream that you resisted my last comment what do you think about that
i have this dream that
yeah that you that you didn't that you didn't thrill at my question
is that true
and the person might say yeah that was really allows the question that you asked but if you really asked the question out of respect
for the buddha dharma in this particular case you're doing your job you're you're you're performing your service for the bodhidharma by continuing the question at all
but you're not questioning looking down at what you're questioning
and you can even check with what you're questioning and ask
your interlocutor am i right if my question seem respectful to you do you feel like i'm honoring you the
and then then they might say yes and say were great and they might say noise they will tell me too please teach me would you please teach me how to question you in a way that seems respectful so questioning with respect no in humility
that would be good that would be good that's where the buddha
that's where the buddha question people with respect and humility and also confidence great confidence in the dialogical process the great confidence in not getting stuck in my own views
great confidence in nocatee stuck in my judgments
and yet i have judgments and i should be i should serve my judgments to and honor my judgments and and share with people my judgments
like for exams i like for example i'm judging that i'm at your pain as a judgment and i want to honor my feeling of pain and share it
as part of the dialogue
but shirt respectfully and you humbly
yes i would be great and that goes for criticizing questioning my okay yes yes
and being a dialogue with that yes
criticizing self criticizing others
leave to justice with self and justice with others
but again christian criticizing his in a conversation not just in one sided indictment
but questioning and inquiring
in this respect for humble way you always talk about conversation and that is being intimate
by being a this has helped me a lot with my daily life in wanting to have conversation with all systems all people all beings no i can not thank you for that and he eight that's helped me alot
at the beginning i quoted nature saying great truth
great truth
wants criticism nothing way to say it is great truth once intimacy
part of intimacy is being questioned and criticized
and some people
really do question the criticize me a lot and these are the people i most intimate with

ah jeffrey maybe yeah
service some i really want to echo what dennis just said that i think what you've been teaching about ah
a dialogue and criticism of footprints has really is very helpful i'm struggling with it in daily life and one unwanted even group small group interactions but i have question about how that translates into the other part of genesis original question
which also relates to what you said earlier about respecting systems of injustice to buy your opening remarks and i'm not quite sure what you mean by that and have i have i have a problem with that resent me respecting our system will when you play it out of it on the political and social sphere by
respecting a system which systematically oppresses black people first and important a has a out lol what killed my mind while you're questioning is respecting our coven nineteen
i don't exactly like coven nineteen
but i respect it
and so i wear a mask out of respect and i keep a distance from people of respect and i wash my hands how to respect these are actions i would say out of respect for this powerful phenomena in our lives also
i respect the other human beings who might get infected so i do it self respecting doesn't mean i like it it means i want to have a liberating relationship with it
so injustice i respected because it's it's injustice is so powerful it hurts people so much
the i i respect it i i i also i want a question at humbly and questioning and humbly means that i'm not suffer that i'm not self righteous and thinking i'm not in i'm not an injustice transmitter i don't try
cosmic injustice
mere fact i confess and repent my lack of faith and practice could be understood as i confess and repent
my acts of injustice
the i sometimes might not do justice to you
but by confessing that you know i think i just i didn't do justice to jeffrey at that moment i really didn't listen to him deeply
i interrupted him
i got caught by my judgment of you those are injustices
which i confess and then and say i'm sorry and i can try again to interact with what appears to be injustice in adjust way and justice cause with respect
devotion to welfare of beatings
an awareness of my own shortcomings as part of working toward for justice
and i want to apply that to political systems systems of racism systems of oppression systems are are you know all those systems
which are and all living beings i want to apply the same practiced all of them and that's why i started with practicing in relationship to something we think is really good like the great truth
a great teacher
so we practice respect with a great teacher so we can learn how to be respectful than we take the respect and we put it over an injustice but when but we're already had the strong ah respect practice respect and generosity can transform injustice
to justice
that's the proposal which you can now criticize
i will reserve that for another day it's long give us your sick
i look forward to us me to thank you for your criticism
linda s
okay oh
this question
is related to amanda's question about taking refuge
so and at one point you said we don't really know what we're taking refuge in that that's
the practice of taking refuge includes that right
i hope i hope i would eventually again when you're when you're a beginner at something you know you haven't a when you're at the beginning and learn learning something you know you haven't learned it but you may not understand yet that you don't know what it is you're trying to learn
okay they take so i would like to kick this to the practice of confession and repentance here which we've talked about
i'm so when i try and practice that ah i feel that even if i say some specific things i actually don't know what i'm confessing pen i don't really know what it is
i could say i did this which i shouldn't have done or i didn't do this which i should have done
which is a judgment of which is a way of improving myself so that isn't it
it's just a kind of ritual i don't know what i'm
repenting exactly i nodded at all actually were on one level i know it and then beyond that i don't know it so you have some wise words rain or enable words not how about any own words yeah yeah that's right
oh starting with hum
it is original
there's a way you do which is original and in the process of the ritual as you become more mature
as you become more filled with the ritual you're able to realize number one that you don't know in this particular richie you don't really know for sure what it is you're confessing
you'd and but also you don't fully know what confessing his
so we often used as got that expression when the dharma does not feel your body and mind you think it's already sufficient
so when you when people first start practicing confession
they might think
that they then understand a sufficiently understand what confession is
as the confession as the dharma of the confession filled you more and more you come to realize that something's missing that you don't fully understand this ritual you're doing
but since the dharmas filling you you can tolerate understood you can tolerate not
fully understanding
when you're a beginner you can barely do the practice so you can also do the practice and tolerate that you don't know what you're doing so you think you do that's okay that's as that's when it doesn't feel your body and mind hey i got this practice down okay fine but when it fills you realize
this is one slight difference when you say when it fills you realize something's missing it isn't that you think you don't know anything because you do do the practice it's just that you don't fully know it
and when you put a bargain at the beginning i think i fully know it
i gotta get it right she said
if you talked to graduate students in physics
they think they understand physics not some of the undergraduates think they don't
but by the time they get to graduate school alarm think they know what fist exists but the but the proof the professors and not to mention the nobel laureates they don't know they need they don't completely know what physics is there's something missing in their understanding
and they used their used to be at a place where there was nothing missing they thought but as you get into this practice more and more it isn't that you
somebody lifting you discontinued it feel like there's something missing
but you also learn your learning and learning and also he realizes no end to the learning
and that's a sign of maturity
good morning good morning
i have two questions and i don't know if they're related to each other so one question is about their about mangia sri
and the any other is about
how these pratt these kind of small practices that you're describing which sound very helpful to me you said they're up they're liberating i don't i don't know how we got from helpful to liberating and was manjushri and that story i have heard that there's a a a common
on the story that says after monday's sure he spoke can nothing be done about mangia leaking and that sounds really critical and i hear about as a it would be better if he was quiet so i don't know such things are related but somehow they're coming up together okay so
so let's go back to the first point you raise which was helpful and liberating right
for example
confession and repentance of the shortcomings in your practice
they're helpful but when you first start doing them they may not yet be liberating
partly because you think you know what the practices
however you have to start there so that to help
you're learning the ropes of the practice and and in learning the ropes of the practice you kind of go
okay i got that
i know that part than you learn another part okay i know that park that's helpful because that's set up the stage for rip for the for the light coming in
and you realizing oh maybe i should criticize this practice that i'm doing maybe i should question whether i really know what i'm talking about
that know your dice helpful to and that
the first phase in this and the second phase of being critical
that the conditions for actually liberating
because again it says by confessing and repenting the power of the confessing and repenting melts away the roots of the transgressions when you first started meeting the transgressions that's the beginning of listening the roots then criticizing the practice of confession and repentance from
either loosens the roots and then the roots actually come to a place where without getting rid of anything their liberation
and the next party or question where it was was
about manjushri you silk
so mundra shriek or in in a poem celebrating manjushri and the buddha
one it says one translation is at the end of the poem celebrating this dialogue
i'm and the dialogue is celebrated by saying the yuneec breeze of reality can you see it
so the buddha just demonstrated the yuneec breeze of reality he showed the light can you see it
and then that could the poem goes and says creation constantly working her lulu shuttle
and literally the mother principal constantly working her loom and shuttle
and the loom is an image for principal and the shuttle in image for phenomena the way phenomenon principal work together in creation to create the patterns of spring creation working her lumad shuttle incorporating the patterns of spring into the ancient brocade

and then the final line but nothing can be done about
image issues leaking
sounds like a criticism and you can take it that way if you like but also it says we need majeure sri to save that we need him to point to the buddha with words
trust to look and see if there's the teaching what is it
we needed the words for us to test and then the palm that follows can further houses to look to see can you see the words are coming to ask is can you see the light in the buddha sitting there
and do you realize that manjushri had to ask that question
but the question in a way
is a kind of leaking because this light doesn't depend on words so unlike doesn't depend on words sometimes need somebody to use words to point to the light
so we need much yoshida to criticize the light and to credit and to question us do you see the light look
did you see the light when the buddhists out there when what was the light
for now yeah
i write my next question
what obama higher a lot more lot
thank you for bringing up such a relevant topic which your talks always are on my question has to do it so far we've talked we've been talking about criticism in dialogue with a teacher at least primarily this is the image that it's been coming up
for me but i wanted to ask you in relation is sanga
you know we have a container and a structure that helps us to main to maintain equilibrium or or at least on an idea of harmonious interaction with each other
where sometimes even in dialogue with a teacher and if the teacher is open to criticism
even in that dialogue there could feel like there's a lot of social pressure not to do that because it can be disruptive to the community so i wanted to ask you if you could just speak of but i don't have a direct question about that but if you could maybe speak to the
that aspect of criticism and dialogue a little bit
okay i'm
could i mention something before i get directly to your question castle when you talking about he said i seem to be talking about
dialogue or criticism between student and teacher
or between two individuals or between two and but let's just say to between the student and teacher so what do when you're talking i realized what i'm encouraging his criticism of buddha the teacher
dharma the teaching and community that could the critical process should be applied to the triple treasure buddha dharma and sangha
and if you apply it to any of those three treasures
in a social setting
that may create some intensity
perturbation but the com in the community some people might you might feel pressured to stop talking because you send people are tensing up
as i said earlier sometimes when people have questioned me or criticize me other people then have pressured them not to do that
and then i have to say
no no no please i need you to do that and also to tell others i need i know i need her to do that i need him to do that i need them to do that
a vitality of the tradition depends on a critical response a dialogical response to buddha dharma and sangha but in the song that there's going to in the community there's gonna be some consequences of that and n in the intimacy of it
people may start feeling a various kinds of tensions and fears
so that the fears may come to the surface in the process of this point of this
critical analysis critical practice that part of the deal
and that's why i guess one partner is not giving this talk is to encourage it
and it's so it's it's buddha dharma and sangha and sanga you could extend to not just them would is practitioners but all human beings and trees and mountains and waters and lakes and plants all these living beings all these
the greatness of them the greatness of these systems the truth of them the truth of them is calling for criticism
when you when i criticized my criticism may be criticized
even people may criticize that i'm making your criticism at all that's part of that's part of why i'm trying to encourage this
but i'm trying to encourage you in in the way that the buddhist tradition has taught which is the students criticize or question the buddha and call the buddha into account the buddha call into account to explain herself to explain themselves as an active
like i just one studio comes in mind to mind is a
it's called the name of the suitors called
fear and dread
it's the middle exchange number four and
he starts out with them a brahmin student of the buddha
calling him to account questioning the practice that he does i'm going into the forest
the wild forest he goes in there and the students kind of criticizing him because he says you know are you the teacher here and are you the example do people follow your example and buddha says yeah he said well you but you go into dangerous places
the guys criticizing am questioning him and the buddhist explains
and ended a response and helps them understand why he goes into these dangerous places but he's been caught that has been called to account by a student
we need that a living buddhist tradition and i
i'd heard that in some buddhist songs in this on this planet when the teacher gives a talk
this the students almost never ask questions
they just listen and then people from those communities come to this than center and they see as questioning the teachers they're surprised because there used to just listening
so again there is a careful balance needed here between listening deeply
and attentively
an undistracted lee to the teaching and questioning
out of respect and devotion that's a balancing act
that's very helpful thank you you're welcome and then there was priya
can i pronounced prayer properly yes thank you well because much the first of all your help near already
because in the beginning elsewhere are occupied with myself
and one shows a lot and then now my mindset to ask are you hot i really do need water amounts you can in a good place sit on a highly did it
i don't either i don't know how i don't know how we did it
i don't know how the conversation did it
as something transformed yeah rick
i hope your drink water and the how can look too hot
my question was i think about myself and when i'm not sure it's only in the dorm rooms on the mound and buddha it says i'm not sure if i want to take space now and where this doubt my mind
could i say something you said you didn't know if it's about the dharma okay
the light of the dharma
helps us understand ourselves
studying ourselves
is the light of the dharma
coming into us
so study yourself is the dharma
please continue as i need help understanding oneself yeah we do we need help and not usually i'm okay on hurry
i haven't used of taking things light later men under pea flour i love life and i'm helping people have a lot of groups and people elected to the forced to meditate and it's working good and i know how to zoom out with other it's very easy for me to help others to zoom out of them there have been as there
painter problem and and connect and swiping it's it's great but i have another fan since tuesday a lot of time in my body i don't what happened i feel a lot of pain
the lot of sadness and then all program is countering with negative thoughts about my relationship and multiply life it's just came again like in from
i remember that the and others
and it's it's here i feel it here sitting on me
and i don't have to believe it or not a way my money still me real husband don't know that's a of years on giving your attention and it's good it's true with is because he going through something it's all about me so i know everything but still sometimes i believe it and it's already four days
is of the pain
like like twenty years ago that let i started to practice when i was fourteen so i don't know what to do i don't know on the stand

oh so when you were talking i remembered something that i said earlier which is
a great truth
once criticism
so you have a life
and the truth of your life
once criticism
watch challenge
and you're telling us that for the last few days your life is you're receiving criticism and challenge to your life
and is difficult and it's painful challenge is sometimes quite painful and difficult to opened her
but the great truth of your life once you to open to criticism
to doubt to fear
and you have enough strength in your life
for this criticism not to come
realize the truth of your life
which is not these judgments these judgments or criticisms which will help you realize the truth the truth needs criticism in order to be realized
so the things you're saying are examples of of of criticism and challenge and doubt
and that's a normal part of the process
i'm realizing the buddha's teaching
but it's difficult and so part of also part of the practice is to learn how to take care of yourself when you're being challenged
how to deal with your feelings and when you're being challenged how to be compassionate to your feelings when you're big challenge and how to be compassionate to the things that are challenging you
again that doesn't stop the challenge it facilitates the continuation of it which the truth wants in order to be realized and we are in a huge
a huge community of humans and animals and plants and mountains and rivers and forests all of the situation is now in a great process are being questioned and challenged
and i'm trying to encourage this questioning to but in a respectful way
and a generous way in a way is devoted to all the things all the beings in the world
but that will mean that i will also be criticized and questioned
but i hope that i'm criticised in question respectfully but if i'm not that i wanted to respect their disrespect that comes to me
and in that way the light of the buddhist teaching will reach
everyone and help them look at themselves and see themselves
yeah me feel now that
witnesses and making i can hold great i'm sure that the pain
oh go through me an own grow
yes mrs part of your growing
so next i see jody

however come on a journey running thanks so much for this congress new shown on your talk and
i think i heard you say something in your talk like
i'm devotion to the light of truth or something like that well and i was imagining
practicing questioning being in conversation
and at the same time holding
devotion to
truth or this light
ah and then also i think i just heard you say something like
being able to hope like when when respects but also when disrespect when what i'm perceiving as disrespect or
that kind of interaction holding that also with respect so anyway i don't really know my question is but these are the things that are coming to me and i'm wondering
yeah i guess i'm wondering what that looks like and then also when the conversation kind of
maybe gets derailed or isn't really
a way that i am
i'm holding this devotion
how what is the confession and repentance look like say i guess as a two part question

if someone comes to me and and just straightforward he says i do not respect you
or they don't say that but the they look like they don't respect me
i've i vowed to learn to respect them

and respecting them might actually involve me
questioning them like would you be willing to tell me more about how you don't respect me or if they don't directly say or i might say can i ask
can i ask if you respect me
or i might actually i probably wouldn't say that pod would say do feel that i respect you
probably start with that
and if they say no then i i that i might have discovered the roots and then maybe not respecting me
because often times if people feel like we don't respect them
they don't respect us
in response
so if i felt like somebody didn't respect me i i would like to
respect them and i met respect them by often offering them a gift of a question like do you feel like i respect you or i might say you have any feedback for me
or how are you feeling
and i i would work on
i would work on my relationship with them by trying to respectfully offer more and more gifts
to the situation and
until i felt like the respect was mutual on both sides
that's what would be working for
so gavin response to the hundred and i did i address your question at all
that's extremely hard to do in the moment when i feel like
various things are going on including maybe i don't really feel like i can remember how to respect to this person because i'm i'm kind of consumed with like my criticism and also i'm coming up against like
all the fear of speaking out of turn like like you said like criticizing someone there's repercussions in the community there's there's ripple effects you know so it's like there's various things going on there in its
it's it's hard to remember just too i guess i guess it's hard to just remember to be
starting with
asking like you said do you feel like i respect you or how are you doing it it's yeah cause there's other thoughts in the mind you know
practice that i brought up you you're telling me that that might be really difficult za right yeah yeah
it it might be really difficult road yeah

so when it comes to difficult things we often than go to what he got i don't know what you call to the practice of
the energy or enthusiasm
which means we go and check out well what's really important to you
do you do you want to learn how to respond to being to disrespect you want to learn how to respond to disrespect with respect
do you want to i do
and and then you say i do and then you might say but it's difficult and then i may say well again asked do you want you and you say i do i just i basically go over that
again and again until you can say
respecting whatever comes to me respecting to whatever comes to me
it is difficult but eyes want to learn to do it so deeply that i'm gonna do this difficult thing america i'm really enthusiastic about doing this really difficult thing because i really wanna learn it
but without that kind of enthusiasm
we probably would say was just too hard forget it you know without enthusiasm you're not going to try to climb mount everest
i mean a hobby dot
but if you want to really climate you might get it together to get to do at your project like tap your wish to respect all beings
over and over and tell
that source fills your body and mind more and more so if you do have the energy and enthusiasm and we also say courageous effort courageous
wish to do something that's really hard because it's really really beautiful and really really what's the most important thing in your life and i came to zen
after hearing stories of people who are respectful
when they were disrespected
i wanted to learn that
and i've been trying to learn that
for more than fifty years i've been trying to learn how to respect people when they don't respect me
and as one of the reasons i stay at zen center is because this is the place where a lot of people don't respect me and hand mice i get lots of opportunities
if i go certain places you know everybody respects me i i can't stay there very long it's not good for my health
but also my grandchildren at various times don't respect me they disrespect me and i want to respect them and teach them how to respect me not that i deserve it but i want them to learn how to respect even
stupid grandfather
i want them to learn that
i love to teach them that i can respect people
them who do not respect me
and some people ah related to denison question some people who disrespect us and and and receive our respect in return years later they realized that we had been respectful of them
they don't necessarily realize that read at the moment even though we truly respect their disrespect
again respect doesn't mean you like it
it means you are humble and generous and careful and patient with it
but the tired right he got the hard part now you need the energy part to say i'm gonna learn this even though it's so hard i want to learn it i want to be able to do it in the moment
and for now i often miss the moment and then i confess i missed i missed another one i'm sorry i missed that chance i'm sorry
but if you confess missing enough chances and say you're sorry you will melt the root of missing the chance and you'll start catching a few in the moment

like can i am
woody allen has become very controversial so i won't say what he on but i saw this movie one time and is guy in a movie ah we had just been indoctrinated was in the process of being indoctrinated into prison life and the the head guard an old
der garde with lots of young guards standing behind him with various kinds of weapons was confronting this new recruit into the prison and he basically said
if you do what i say you know you'll probably survive if you don't we won't get into that it would be horrible what will happen to you if you don't do what i say
this head guard was very disrespectful

very disrespectful of this new prisoner and the new prisoner with a shaky hand raised his hands it said may i ask a question
that was hard core system movie but anyway that was how can i ask a question and the guard said what
and he said you think it's okay to cat on a first date
you know
and not totally disarmed the whole situation
he respected the guard and in the respects creativity starts flowing and you'll come up with very interesting questions like do you think it's oak would it be all right if i i went to the toilet
may i ask your question
does not easy
what's easy is just to cower and run away or to strike back in hatred that's easy
but to really practice the buddha away in the face of disrespect and injustice that's hard you need to find you need to keep getting back to that what you want
and keep drinking the water this is what i want until you feel fully hydrated
with enthusiasm for doing certain difficult things like respecting all life
wouldn't that be something
okay thank you see you in in nirvana
did you have questioned my

i your muted i think tillman

i can't hear you come on
pam walton
and costello
when i was when i was listening on about this idea of i'm treating it in of treating each other with respect and devotion when we disagree or when our of field
threatened i'm everything wow wouldn't that be great you know if that's how our world or if politicians could talk to each other like that and then in our thinking that's never gonna happen because there's so much self interest involved
then trying to get people on their side which seems to involve turning them against people on the other side and
i started to feel sad you know that this thing would never happen and then i you was thinking about myself and am start feeling even more sad i it it's not so hard for me when people disagree with me to listen risk
thankfully and treat them with respect and i can feel that fear that comes out but i know that my opinion and their opinion are both dependently arisen events and come they're both equally valid in that respect but what happens for me is is that
i have given up i don't i don't try any more to say anything at all try anymore to change things i don't try any more to speak up because i don't have the energy and i don't think it's going to do any good
and i think that my devotion is lost their to all beings and how to get it back
okay so basically you're saying the same thing that jordi said
and my aunt is the same as for her
you have to go into your heart
into the place that thinks that what you are giving up on is good
you said you've given up you have to go back to what you've given up and think about it until you can read as rediscover that you think that that would be good
and you have to go there again and again and again until your energy comes back
so that you will keep working on something which may never happen
what you want to work on it anyway
this is the irony
of the situation
occasionally a politician apologizes in public
if someone does the practices and i'm talking about you would say will they'll never get elected because they respect the other side and they confess their shortcomings nobody will vote for them may be so
but i'm working for the day when they will do that when they'll confess and repent and get elected because the other people are doing it to everybody's being honest and saying i have shortcomings i was wrong that you know i didn't really say the truth at that time i exaggerated i'm sorry
now course see once you get elected as president and your your second turn then you can apologize all the time
but anyway i want to promote a way of life where i apologize for my shortcomings
and where i am respectful to people who do not apologize for theirs
and and i'm gonna keep working on that
with no end
but i have to keep going back to that important to me and feel that and feel it and feel and until the energy comes not only is it important but i have energy to go to work again otherwise you will give up it's hard work
and then even after you've accessed at energy and build it up again and feel full of energy and you go to work you get hydrated he was energy for doing this work still you have to get hydrated again tomorrow you use up the you use up the spring does you
you use up the well of your enthusiasm by doing the work they have to go back again and again otherwise you will give up
and we have to do more energy
ah cultivation in our practice and were then we have been doing we have to do more and more to have the energy to do this great work
okay is there any particular practice that helps build that energy like i heard in a remembering that i am devoted to say no i wrote this book called are entering the mind buddha is a chapter on
this is a whole chapter on on energy generation there's one and lot of other is it does many treatments it's the fourth power meter caught and energy or
the effort or enthusiasm read those books and if you read them that will get you in touch with your energy with your enthusiasm
but you have to do over and over because even after you have the energy to go to work it gets used up it's like blood sugar level it drops if after you use you have degenerated on a daily basis
well you know maybe not have to but it's good degenerated on a daily basis at minimum
if possible several times a day because the energy does work it's energies is does work horse powered his work
this is bodhisattva power his work and you need to replenish the fuel which is your vile and you need to keep getting in touch with it
yeah and you may maybe need to read some books to remind you how to do it
okay thank kill you're welcome
hey fun
it's be time to
this is a good time to walk through that energy generation with us a little bit yeah
so what do you do is you you go on you try to remember what's most important thing for you
try to get back in touch with what's most important in life for you
and sometimes may take you a few minutes are a few days to find it again because you haven't been lucky for it lately once you find it then
and say what practiced is what practice goes with what's most important to me
like now talking to you
and if there's the dance of the buddha's happening was so great assembly and
it for a president with each other and evoking some kind of intimacy there's a sense of like ah
on one hand a groundless ness and not wanting to make an abode where there is none
you know it essentially and then another hand taking refuge
tapping into whatever appearance it is there you know if shaq your money puts up a flower than that could be enough to you know the corners of your mouse go up or whatever it is like there's a way to show up work with each other
and be present
but with me it feels like like
that's i can't tell
if i'm moved by that if that's like just trying to
he'll my old
you know basically childhood wounds and you know or is it really something like
deeper diversion that have course and fulgence like that's that's there's so much energy there and night
i don't want to make it into a grass be saying
can i mean i do but i hear what you don't want to make it into but the you asked me to talk about energy generation and that's not so much getting into which you don't want to do is getting around do want to do so what do you what do you want it what is not doing that it was with the really
position of impermanence and as selflessness and or i know so far but i'm not sure
you know as soon as i get a taste of lou this is nice the skills charged jerk you know than it it starts to be something that i want to commodify ratify yeah i understand that's a problem okay but okay that's more than what you're doing knowledge of
talking more about wisdom practice
which is important
the notice when you re a fire commodify ah that kind of mindfulness is very important but it's more of a wisdom practice
and you asked about energy generation it's a different type of practice okay
that seems to be where i get my energy though
i am
maybe that's not what you were talking about but you but you asked me
about a energy generation and now you're telling me where you get your energy and i know if you get energy from that fine
but i don't see that as energy generation practice
i'm i'm critiquing what you said right right i'm saying that
wisdom practice can be energizing
but you didn't ask about wisdom practice which can be energizing asked about energy generation so then i go back to what your vow what's the what's your ultimate concern in life that's where your energy comes from this wisdom practice is driven and supported by vow energy
and that's what i thought you're asked about if you're not ask you about it i misunderstood you i think that energy that i was asking about generating was basically the the wisdom energy that i was
trying to evoke so that we could refer to it i mean you might be referring to something else is as energy generation but like there is the reason that i think that's important in my vows
is it as far as like skillful means and all that is that
if i can
see you know tap into the buddha nature of people then it seems less likely that i'll be on skillful or manipulate ever
you know like if if if i'm saying oh this this annoying person yeah i agree with you okay that if you if you realize buddha nature
that will be really good

so i agree with that

hi rob i ah rabbi and maybe we should have even asked us to ask a question because i guess i already knew we know i question is but ah
it seems to me that there's a difference between a view and a being so there are zillions of beans in there are zillions of views and we respect both beans and views but we respect beans more than we respect views
bob you're speaking for yourself why i think we're not going after not speaking for me stephen okay i'm not speaking for you but i i think i'm speaking for reality because i don't know why i'm attorney stephen if you're not speaking for me or not you're not speaking for reality well i've gotta sneak from
me too
right and i'm even steven i do not respecting beings more than view views views to me are beings
well views include beans because beans have views boy views include beings and beings include views yeah both ways but
but beans are more than their views that's true and views are more than being

it seems to me that that ah
maybe a shift in you can shut me down if you want but it seems to me that we're moving into kind of an environmental environmental apocalypse stage
and i don't see any views that are going to avoid that stage for all beings that's your view that is my view and it's my view of reality yeah but i may not be reality but it's my view that that is what reality is no
it seems to me that a bunch of people have views which don't respect
my view which this is the reality that's coming upon us right
and it seems to me that a new due respect their views
i respect their views but i don't respect their views as reality this so i am troubled by
ah it seems to me that a lot of discourse in
american buddhists circles seems to be skirting this
apocalyptic stage which in my mind and my view we seem to be headed towards
well i i i can see how you would see how that could be review that buddhism buddhist sir circles are skirting the issue of your a pok pok elliptic view i can see that you how you will see that what i'm talking about his
respecting your apocalyptic view as what i'm talking about
i'm talking about respecting other people's views
what i'm talking about is how to have a view which is reality
and i believe that respecting my view and your view and other people's views is the path to becoming free of our views
and realizing reality
we all it is
reality realizing reality is involved being free of views
but it doesn't mean involve not having views that's right
freedom from views would be irrelevant if we didn't have them but we do have them and they're very important in our life and we don't have enough freedom from them
and i want to respect your views and the other people who have and i want and i wanted to respect your views in order for all of us to become free of our views
that's what i'm working on well that's wonderful but we're not going to be free of reality we're not going to be free of reality and i don't want to be free of reality alanna realized the freedom of reality
the valley ever realizing it freedom realizing reality equals freedom
yes but see n the it seems to me then you've conveniently avoided the fact that rewrite reality might be apocalyptic i didn't i didn't know if i try to avoid what you just said that is not the path to realizing reality
if what you say i'm doing if i was doing that i don't want to do that
i don't want to avoid your view
okay got it but the i got that but and i want yes what what more could you be rather than me not avoiding your view no i don't want you to avoid my view but i don't want on i want to avoid my view either but i want to view avoid i want to avoid
the unavoidable reality of what it looks like a marionette wait a second you just said you wanted to avoid reality you don't mean that do you know know i yes i do i do mean that i want to avoid a version of reality which is apocalyptic a sec
a version of reality is not a bad
everybody's got a version of reality the reality is there's not versions of reality that okay here's what here's what i want a boy i want to avoid a pen potential apocalypse which is very difficult to avoid in my view
you know it apocalypse name's stephen if you should know that right yeah i know them he may change
it means change shirt and certainly it does yes well it also means revelation but it means a bunch of other stuff
i think you're using apocalypse for disaster and calamity but yes that's exactly what i'm using it as so you want to avoid disaster
and calamity and environmental destruction yes yeah so i'm proposing the way to the way to be free of that is by respecting everybody's views
that's what i'm saying

have already
then again who have a question
i'm having trouble hearing you

can you hear me
i can't hear you
front talk louder well you can hear me but i'm not loud enough yeah ah okay thank you
am i want to come back to one questioned it was like ah
was asked before
a to ask what's most important
and i've i think i don't have an answer every time i asked what's most important am i only have doubts and so i cannot
trust the things that come up when i ask what's most important so that's mine my problem and how often the how often do you ask that question

i think i always asked that question when a few hey
so high often how often is that how often as do ask that question
one today
oh i'm not so sure yeah but once a day it probably isn't enough
i often ask people and they don't have an answer to the question like you
so i just i keep asking them
and and asking them and asking and if you keep acting the answer will come
but it won't necessarily come in a day or week
but if you ask any nate and maybe more than once a a but at least once a day and you keep it up the answer will come the answer is in you what's most important to you is in you it's related to what you are
what you really are
is what you want when you have to keep asking in order for it to come out and and show itself but it will come but if you ask him once a day that might not be enough and once a week probably not
so you know i asked that question to people who i'm practicing closely with so they can ask that question a lot and they usually do find it but sometimes it take some months to find it
and then we find it in it we got it and then we work on it but it's not necessarily he readily available once you find it then you ask again you find it again and the more you find it the more quickly you can find it again
but this is part of the practice is to remember what's most important to you
or to discover it and then remember it and then remembered and remember it and remember and forget it and remember it and forget it and remember this is normal
but you might ask many times to find it that's a normal to
okay thank you very much welcome
thank you so much attention to achieve for the very real
ah dharma talk it's very real and eerie were pretty spoke my question was
you said he talked about chance the light being transmitted so was wondering how does tonight get transmitted
in meeting face to face
thank you

can you hear me yes
when when you listen deeply and respectfully to someone
who truly want to know
and understand them yes
may i would do yes yeah and in that process of deeply listening how do you how do you
also deeply listen to yourself and include yourself in that conversation
well when you said that
i listened i just listened to myself i just
checking with my body and saw how my body felt
at that moment that i did it
so your attention if you were deeply listening to me your attention could hold both yourself and me at the same time it could or i could go from one side to the other i can see how i felt and then see how i felt about you
and in that exchange how if if
if it if you are engaging respectfully is that a a continual circle lived back and for
in reality yes
it's back and forth it's reciprocal fall time
if i don't
do my own body and mind it will make it more difficult for me to attend to yours
if i don't attend to yours
i won't fully realize what my own body and mind is
so attending to you helped me to be aware of myself and vice versa
i often tell the story of the
it's a it's a scripture in which the buddha tells the story of an acrobat
and the acrobats apprentice
and the acrobat says to the apprenticed now you take care of me and i'll take care of you and we can perform our acrobatic feet
and the apprentice says teacher or master you haven't reversed
you need to take care of yourself and i need to take care of myself so we can do this feat
are you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of me and i did to take care of me so i can take care of you
and the buddha said commenting on that parable buddha said the apprentice just right you should take care yourself first
in order to take care of others
so we had the tech boom we used to ride airplanes we have the thing of if you're helping someone onboard and is time to put on oxygen mask put your own on first before you try to help somebody else
it was gone if i don't listen to myself first i'm i would be hard for me to listen to you
a first of i listened to my own body and mind then i can listen to you
and when i can listen to you it enhances me listening to my own body and mind and round and round
and how do you learn how'd you learn to listen to yourself well it again the buddhist says in the way you learn is called the four foundations of mindfulness mindfulness a body
my thoughts or feelings mindfulness of states of consciousness and mindfulness of of mental factors like like fear added to his judgements intentions
oh so those being mindful of those things is how you learn how to
listen to yourself starting with the body which for most people's easiest place to start starting with being aware i'm sitting start being more aware i'm stand i'm walking i'm lying down be aware of your breathing this is a beginning of taken care
and listening to yourself listen to your body
look at your body be aware of your posture that's listening to your body listen to your breath
then and then move on to listen to your feelings
some to whether you're in pain or pleasure this is how to listen to yourself listen to your the quality of your consciousness is zada listen to yourself then you can listen to other people better
okay yes
you are welcome
let's see him and we finished all the questions

hello hello
ah i wish to make these words an offering to the buddha's
okay don't they're they're ready you'll okay
am i i wish to

i need a minute
i wish to feel the fullness
of criticism
you brought the word
criticism forward over two hours ago
my body and mind i could feel tension rising
and so i've been sitting with this tension
and it's like a great
fire it's very phone
and i've been taking care of it not to touch it
for turn away
i don't i don't
i hear the words there's light we are in the light
i like to do the light
the light is you looking at what you just have been looking at that's the light
okay buddhist light it is you looking at your body and noticing attention
in your body have had good as light is you learning about yourself
okay okay so the buddhist light was working on you when you started to study yourself this morning that's the buddhist light
yeah okay and use that to me recently
something like seeing the darkness in the light
yeah if you if you attend to the light if you the the the darkness in the light is that is you studying yourself as you're doing
and you can see if you can see for example in the light you can see
how you're feeling what you're thinking
okay okay and you will discover through this type of meditation
something you can't see
which is the ultimate truth of all your feelings
that will be revealed to you in your study of yourself
thank you and the ultimate truth of your
feelings and so on is is in the dark
or or as darkness you can't see it but you will realize it by taking care of what you're meditating on now

thank you you're welcome
grab there's one more person there's some year
when he will contain hello
no you really i do i hear you and i get you can see me because something is wrong with my computer i understand thank you
believe in san
as the risk of my life
and as i understand now
he's the only way to have this continues and sustained practice that is the only way
to actualize would boot away
that means for me
the totally complete determination
and faith
in this practice of zazen
even though
the practice means other things too but there is something very hand
essential in this posture
it's what i
believe any it's the way i tried to
everyday leave my life
a kind of devotion

i wouldn't as your devotion to

without criticize it
and i i i i don't know me well when you say with are criticized the what do you mean is actually are you devoted to not criticizing
i'm devoted to everything that appear and to everything they disappear
okay so i hear you're devoted to zazen and your avoided to everything that appears and disappears as i read yeah k i wouldn't as your devotions
but then you said something about without criticism of itinerant down what you meant by that without criticism
oh maybe
oh maybe i mean
lot of criticism maybe i mean feedback and i get your feedback because you
i heard what you say
when i told about my devotion to thousand okay
is that it
that is that what you wanna say
yes it's what i want to say
and that so
we had a fish sushi two weeks ago
in sweden we were seven people in
i was missing you

but the devotion of zazen gave me the the strength and the
the humility and the power to go through this session
and i was missing you
really missing you
was something missing
nothing was missing
everything was just
when the dharma does not feel your body and mind you think nothing's missing
when the dharma fills your body and mind you realize something's missing

i don't understand buddha i don't understand dharma i don't understand sangha
and i don't know what zazen is but i'm devoted completely to this practice
at the risk of my life
i wouldn't as your devotion to what you think practices
you have you read me thinking about the practice do you hear my thoughts about the practice
ah i i heard you express your devotion to practice as you see it

thank you facing me
you're welcome thank you all for this wonderful morning and early afternoon i wish you all safety and peace and i hope you all take good care of your deep
the vows for these precious life together
may our intention equally stand to have remain in place where the true married of buddha's way beings are numberless i vow to save them afflictions are in exhausts
to blow i vow to cut through dymo gates are boundless i vow to enter them buddha's ways unsurpassable i bow to become it
like iraq i buy my i can thanks for coming great issue diarrhea