huh

as
some of you
ah here for the first time has a right
you know marry
pardon
where did you name again
mary a here for first-time have been here before welcome back
anyway some of you here for the first time and this year first time
and i just wanted to
kind of like draws on picture of what's going on here this year
and by here i mean
here
with this person and also mean this temple
add this person however goes other places besides here so it's like this is what's going on with him when his other places
for example on monday i'm going to go to new york city
and then i'm gonna go to minneapolis and then i'm gonna go to houston and i'll tell the people there when i get when i arrive i'll tell them about what's going on here
what's going on here this year particular i'm emphasizing what's going on here is i'm emphasizing something
and what i'm emphasizing his
that the buddha
points to the earth
and this comes from a story in one of our zen story collections and the name of the story is the world honored one the buddha points to the earth
and that story is sort of it
i brought up at the beginning of the year
and i continued to
return to that story what's the story
not yet
the story is
the world honor one points to the earth then the story goes on
but the name of the story is the world on and one points to the earth
the boot up
the boot is more than just pointing but when the buddha points to boot up sometimes points to the earth this story about the boat appointed to the earth
where we live
let the story goes on
one day the buddha was
walking along
on the earth
and but appointed to the earth and said this is a good place to build a sanctuary
so this is another thing i'm emphasizing
i'm emphasizing that this is a good place to build a sanctuary
and wherever i am i want to emphasize this is a good place to build a sanctuary
whoever i'm talking to
this is a good conversation in which to build a sanctuary and so on this is that this is an emphasis
and then for me
i would like to build a sanctuary for
complete perfect awakening
sometimes god buddha
i would like to make a sanctuary for complete perfect awakening
so am i like to emphasize that and then also i like to emphasize what i like
to give life to in this sanctuary

and part of giving life to it is
to talk about it to talk about what i wanna give life to
awakening
and i have and we'll talk about this awakening in different ways

and
part of the reason i will talk about this awakening
this buddha
in different ways is so that we will be able to understand
that there aren't that does your limit on the ways to talk about buddha
hen other words no limits on ways of talking about buddha means could be understood as meaning everything is a way to talk about buddha

everything is innate buddha is a name for this awakening
the buddha is not just a like a person earth are being it's also an activity buddha is an activity awakening as an activity
it's a way of living
and there are unlimited names for this awakened way of living
for example homer is another name for buddha lorenzo is another name for buddha mary is another name for buddha
christoph is another name for buddha

a cypress tree in the courtyard is another name for buddha
rocks tiles and pebbles or another name for buddha
buddha mind is another name for buddha
and another name for buddha is intimate communication
so i've that name for buddha
that name for a intimate communication or
meeting face to face is another name for buddha buddha is meeting face to face
meeting face to face is another name for boys and buddha is another name for meeting face to face so i'm emphasizing meeting face to face and one of the ways i emphasize it is by meeting you right now face to face
this meeting see it
this is an emphasis
on buddha
this is a way to emphasize boiler now i could turn around and face that way
and i could be another way for me to emphasize meeting your face and face to face and otherwise
i want to emphasize that i am intending to meet you face to face right now and if i turn my head around
and i probably have to move my whole body to do it
the back of my head is offered to you as my face
i'm
i wanna build a sanctuary here today i want to
i think this is a good place to do it and in this sanctuary i would like to practice buddha
in the form of meeting you face to face
i'm gonna give you my face
and i am trying to give you my face right now
if i give him my face than we could have face to face meeting
but
i also want to emphasize that in order for us to have face to face meeting
you need to give your face do
and
you do so we can have buddha right here now
by giving our face to each other and meeting
and
and once our faces are meeting we can also have the conversation
and when we have a conversation again as an opportunity for awakening
and we need this face to face meeting for awakening
and also we need awakening for this face to face meeting

one of the reasons one of the stories about why i might be concerned with
building a sanctuary for awakening is that i think awakening
addresses something that's
kind of it
issued in my life which is human suffering
i'm somewhat concerned with human suffering and also the suffering of other animals and plants and the whole planet
so the planets are good place
the build a sanctuary
for the awakening which addresses the suffering of the planet
and the suffering of the planet one of the main
places to look for the suffering of the planet is
in what we call self centered consciousness
and the way i use the word consciousness is i use it for self centered consciousness
i use consciousness has a mind a type of mind in which there is a self appearing or there's a sense of awareness and i'm here hello i'm here and i see you there
and also i see you there and i guess that you have consciousness too and i and i'm guessing that your consciousness have you in it
looking at me in his face to face meeting
this is this consciousness where there's a self
is that other names for it in unlimited nice work rich
self centered consciousness ego centric consciousness egoistic consciousness but also you could call it self centered cognition or self centered mind so i use the word consciousness for self centered mind
there's other realms of cognition which are not self centered for example we human beings i think have another form of cognition which is not self centered which is called the unconscious condition
it's not
self centered consciousness
it's a
virtually infinite
cognitive field of activity which is involved in all of our physical from in most of our physical movements in speaking languish to each other in
regulating an influencing our heartbeat and are hard pressure and our digestion
and so on is a essay
inconceivably rich field of cognitive life
which surrounds
ours are little are relatively small self centered condition
as i often mentioned this image by d h lawrence where he says this is what i know about the conscious self i think they're funny he said you can find an being upright this is what i know about the conscious self or i would rephrase it this is what i know about self consciousness
it's like a clearing in the middle of a dark forest and i would add a vast dark forest and the vast dark for us i understand to be the unconscious cognitive process which surrounds our
quite reduced cognitive life in consciousness
and in this route in this reduced consciousness cognitive mind was as a self that's where we on well as well we have greed hate and delusion
and that's where we speak languages
we don't speak english and our unconscious we speak it in our consciousness and
the contact the unconscious cognitive process makes it possible for there to be english spoken in consciousness and in this consciousness we are
in the consciousness we are trapped in the consciousness in consciousness people are trying to get out of the consciousness in the consciousness people are sick of the consciousness and they're sick of the self that in the consciousness and they even want to get rid of this selfless in the consciousness cause a sense that it's all sticky
he an obstructed around the south and the consciousness which is most people have some understanding of that
and there is all kinds of teachers coming
from what
from the face to face transmission
there's all kinds of teachers coming into the body and into the unconscious correct cognitions into the conscious self centered cognition and we can hear these teachings and these teachings tell us how to deal with this little clearing
this little constricted reduced version of our life where there's a self consciousness how to deal with that in a way that were open this self consciousness
its mission which is going on all the time
the face to face transmission is going on the face of face transmission is the buddha mind
is complete perfect enlightenment
it completely pervades the body my body
all of our bodies
complete perfect enlightenment pervades all of our bodies right now it pervades oliver unconscious process right now and it pervades
our conscious process right now
but it's not another one of the things and cut inner consciousness it's a light
it's a radiant wisdom
it's a face to face transmission

and a teaching has come into our consciousness which is sad telling us
that if we can
enter into the practice of face to face transmission we will realize the face to face transmission that is already going on
so i'm saying these things to you and some of you and maybe all of you are hearing these words and are in your in york little tiny
comic consciousness self consciousness you're hearing that there is a face to face transmission available
and in his face to face transmission there will be complete perfect enlightenment
which is already present
but it requires us to enter into this
this meeting and this conversation which is already going on
and for example one of the things that's required of us is to give our face
and if we give our face will realise other faces are being given to us which we will not realize even know it's already so
some of you may already know this somewhat did you know that everybody you know gives give you their face and you heard about that before
most people have never heard that before
have any have you heard that before that everybody you meet gives it give you their face
have some of you not heard that before
nobody here has not heard them before
huh
you have not heard it before yeah most people if i would go up to them and they have you heard that everybody you meet give you their face
you know i would i would if i was going to do that i would have a go with bodyguards
don't hit him he's he's not trying to be mean he just doing a survey
the survey is
do people for example english speakers have they heard that everybody that they meet give them their face most people have not heard that teaching
now if i say to them have you have you heard
or do you understand that everybody you meet you give them your face also most people have been not hadn't have not been asked that question
for example i have not asked my granddaughter that question i don't think anybody else after that
but every time he meets someone she gives him her face and if you would say i just i don't want to give my face
metro her face with say
the hell you know with a tremendous vitality i don't i don't give you my face granddaddy
do i give you my face i don't want to talk about this
that's the face that guy would get navy
but she might surprise me and say wow that's really interesting granddaddy you give me your face i'll see you tomorrow safer or see about that
bashir cheema a pay attention to me

so that's part of what i want to say you
a nominee and and i will be talk and i will continue to emphasize this face to face meeting
and tell you more about how wonderful it is why should say i will propose to you more and more about how wonderful it is
and before i go onto the other things which i'd really like starbuck and recall on the person who's making a face at me
and raising your hands
you are on the right fame
ace to get some interface yes so iraq iraq's have rocks our faces
they have faces
yes
yes they do
if you give your face to iraq you have you will discover that rocks have faces
you are and you'll discover their eyes and so on but until you are or know what
moved enough for insane enough to go around give your face to rocks you probably won't realize that their faces
you'll be trapped in your karmic consciousness and other words
where you think
only some beings have faces
and you can only communicate with some bags like many kind of consciousness is already think that about some humans
they think they can meet some humans
so it would be natural that they were think i also kept me frogs are rocks the more you give your face the more you realize that you're being met by another face
as but you can just start with humans
that's hard enough
just remember to do with humans and if the more you can do with you and you more you realize that it's a teaching that applies to everything because this is the teaching of face to face transmission is to free you from the self-centered consciousness where you think only certain things are possible
in in kind of consciousness we think only certain things are possible
but in karmic consciousness we usually do not understand that everything is impossible
come guys is this is not up for that
but you can make it ready for that
the for to open to everything's impossible and therefore everything's possible
it's an it's possible that everything's impossible
and so on
not to mention that rocked our faces i mean that's like
and it's impossible that humans have faces
and we need face to face transmission which we've already got we need to practice at in order to realize that humans faces are impossible but doesn't mean there's no human faces their argument faces and we should meet them
in
wholehearted responsible conversation
and through that conversation we will become free have a little enclosed space in the dark forests where we're trapped because we don't yet practice face to face transmission if you fact practice face to face transmission in the little clearing in the middle of the vast forest you will now
not any longer be limited
or i should say you will realize the
infinite
life that is simultaneous with your limited life

through this practice of face to face transmission

and you i'm not i'm not attached and moving onto my next topic so yes
am i sure well i'm now demonstrate this you know i'm not saying i'm sure because i i next topic is like have nothing to do it being sure
actually it does

do we

space becomes a masks
yeah look i the word for the court persona right means that is an escort if it's what the people put on your face right the greek actors and metamask they put on with called persona right
so
is a face kind of a
a false sing in first place huh
yeah i think we need to bring the false out and meet other falseness in order to become free of falseness
the face is all tied up with her entrapment and delusion
we we become entrapped in of consciousness by means of our face and another face
so we use wood in traps is deliberate us
and in fact what in traps is already does liberate us
it's already going on
ah secret
share her face
see

reflected
is it fair to say that
while certainly fair to say that
i'm sure i think it's certainly fair fee you just say that as fair food is in also spare for you to say the opposite of what you just said lot of stuff spare here
part of the process of this face to face transmission is to be looking if like he's talking to somebody
i like i'm talking to somebody i talked to some new people right
i have conversations with your part of the process of face to face transmission is why you're having a conversation with somebody else you realized that their you that's part of what happens and face to face transmission as you realize that the other is the way you are really
so that dynamic of
the of face to face transmission is
he is me and in truth i am not him or he is not me but in truth i am him that dynamic is what is goes on in the face to face transmission
yes

seeing one doing another

say
you don't have to match what the other face you just need after magic you can say thanks for giving me your face and i'd like to offer you have a face which alternatively call my face which i think doesn't match your face that can be you can have conversations like that
the thing is it
and now we're getting into the conversation which i'm happy to do forever
and in the conversation and in in a fully responsible way of having a conversation there's so many possibilities you can agree with the person you can disagree with the person you can ask them questions you can feel that they are calling you into question and you can allow being coy
called into question and you can check to see if her willing to be called into question and if they're not you can call that into question and so on all you don't have to be the same as somebody else at the beginning he just had to whole be different when you're different and in the whole heartedly big
different and responded to that fully you realize that without imagine them you are completely what's not you
but that isn't like you switch sides it's that you wake up to this person whom like this person who says one thing it does another he wake up to the that that that better you and that liberates you from them and you this is like you wake up to
to freedom from your it's self consciousness but the way to become free of myself consciousness is by having a conversation with you
but i have to train in order to have a fully responsible conversation with you
and i and i need you to help me and you will

a choice
would i do a summer's day
i didn't say what do i do if someone is in my space
it's not they're not their language
he said what i do if someone is not there by my choice k
generally speaking
jen just forget about generally often
often almost always the person had in my face the face that's in my face i did not choose that face to be in my face and i my faith is in dealing with the face it in my face not the faces that i too
choose to be in my face
if i notice myself choosing faces to be in my face i come by i had the good fortune of a certain face calls me into question and says are you trying to choose which faces are in your face
i do want some faces to be in my face
but i do not want to get into choosing the faces are in my face
so anyway right now in your faces in my face
but i didn't choose that but you gave it to me so now i've got it and this is what i want i want what i've got
but i didn't choose you now what if i also know i didn't want you but i don't want you
well then i work with the i'm not open i'm not open to what's being given to me and so here's a key factor or face to face transmission
is i welcome you even though i did not i did not feel that i invited you i welcome you
that a big that's how the that's how the face to face transmission starts it starts as an act of generosity which is to welcome you and to give me
even though i didn't want you and still don't want you and i welcome that i don't want you and i'm afraid of you or whatever
this is what i'm trying to learn is to welcome the other
who didn't want didn't choose and to give my face to the other
who i didn't want to or didn't want to
the open up to the reality of our relationship which was liberate both of us from our egoistic entrapment
an open us to the not just hoping us to the vast forest
but open us to the intimate
relationship between the vast dark forest and the little clearing
openness to the wisdom which is that the relationship of everything and everybody to everything and everybody
but we have to do this work in a little clearing
which and we have to do we have to meet each other face to face and little clearing in order to open to the forest and then opened to the relationship between the little clearing in the forest and developed the dialogue between within a little clearing and between the little clearing and the forest which includes all the other little clearings
which are communicating to us
and coming into the clearing but also communicating to us from the dark forest and that whole relationship is buddha's wisdom
and so that's another topic which i am sort of offering for the rest of the summer anyway spring and summer
is the topic is exploring
our infinite life
my comic consciousness is finite
kind of consciousness is finite is limited
the beginning and ending arising and ceasing that's part of what's going on in the little comic consciousness and that's part of our suffering his we sometimes say i don't want to have this thing start i don't want to have the sand i don't want the birth of this i don't want the death of that that's part of what is like there
it's stressful
the face to face transmission liberate us from getting stuck on all that any of that stuff
an opening to are infinite life we have a finite life which is this little kind of consciousness which is so powerful so interesting so amazing but also it's entrapping it's and it's deluded it's false but as a very useful falseness
like get the story i tell over and over the man comes to the psychiatrist and says my sister thinks she's a chicken
now could be
could be compound the promise in my sister thinks she's a rooster
why did you tell her she's not a rooster anyway
as gender things aside my sister thinks she's a rooster of my sister think he's a chicken
no gender from there right and
the psychiatrist says wanted to tell her she's not a chicken so for i need the eggs
so we don't tell karmic consciousness you know that it's not right because we need the eggs
it's powerful but we can work with the situation
and become free
i'm a chicken i'm a person i'm a man i'm a woman we can become free of that we can become free of attaching to identities
and rejecting other identities we can become free of this attachment and rejection
we have another life which is simultaneous with our little life it's an infinite life which is always simultaneous with our limited life but are limited life only exists in our consciousness outside of our consciousness in no way to limit our life there's nobody saying now it got boy
born and now it dies
that's all thought construction and kind of consciousness my birth my death i have another life
which makes possible this limited life
and when this limited life and it's limited consciousness goes can put
my infinite life support the caput
but is virtually
unhindered by the pudding or the not the pudding
right now i'm not caput but
my infinite life is okay with that and when i am could put my infinite life me
support that totally and bit and be changed by that totally when i die the whole universe will change and before i die the whole universe is changing with me every moment i'm the whole universe is changed based on me and i'm changed based on the whole universe when there's no under me
the that will change is our universe
and no universal change me into not being me
this is another part of what i'm talking about how to explore our infinite life how to set up a face to face conversation between my finite life and my infinite life and one of the door one of the doors to my infinite life is
emerald
and leo's another door to my infinite life the surface the the surface face of each person that the those limited way you appear to me and the way i limited way i i relate to you those are doors
to are simultaneous with that with our conversations right now are infinite life is making us all possible and we doing what we're doing here is contributing to and making possible are infinite life there's no end or beginning to this ongoing process except in
of consciousness which thinks that way but now in your comic consciousness i'm suggesting that there really isn't birth and death
just kind of consciousness as birth and death in camera gotcha the stairs birth and death and will and we had a workshop
a hotter work with death
in such a way that we can have a conversation with it and if you can have a conversation with death you get to open to know birth no death
but if we don't converse with it is then we get stuck in it in our death and other people's death but if we know how to face to face transmission while we're dying and when we die
then we're not confined and constructed by death or birth or beginning or end
this it's a mask desk as a mask death mask birth mask but isn't the rich don't
practice with the mass we practice wholeheartedly have face to face masked to mask meetings with everything does birth have a face the death of her face i say yes
you can meet it he can look into the eyes of death and say welcome friend i i a living person offer my face to you death
does illness have a face i say yes to the have eyes can see me yes gonna talk with me yes can i talk to it yes
hello cancer hello heart attack i had a hard tackle and time i had a conversation with it
it went pretty well
not something to say yeah you're still here at what even you know i was alive during the kart attack and i was talking with it and i was talking to other people about it
i'm very grace to come visit me in our the ducks on room is where i had it i invited advice to come down and talk to me and she came to she said i think she i don't think you're having a heart attack
no i know but you came down with later i was talking to food and i and i think i said to forgot progress but before i taught before i had to go visit you i thought maybe i'm having a heart attack i wasn't sure
one hear about this
i'm talking a fool you know and she tells me the sad story
we're having a conversation gay for having a face to face meeting right and here comes this
this guest
name fool and she tells me this sad story so then another desk guest came in the form of a pain across my
chest
that guests came and i think i did okay i can welcome the guests and i talked to the guest
and i and my first hypothesis about with his guess was his i thought it was like empathy for the sad story that she told me if i am i'm feeling some empathy here
for the sad story but i thought but the shape of its kind of surprising it's like it's like a nice clearly defined ban across my chest and it but it it didn't it kind of stay that thought maybe it isn't just empathy maybe it's a heart attack
then i fight and say this out loud to her i was having this conversation inwardly between my face and the face of this sensation in my chest this tightness and shut matches and answer
so i said i thought maybe i'd lie down here when i when i'm flying down food thought that was my next teaching to her and it was
the teachers now lying down in the ducks on room
and after a while i thought oh maybe maybe want to get greece since you went god grace and grace came down and then when there was them getting grace and wall i wonder we call the paramedics and and so on
did you call
what

come down
yeah
well i worked i was only
huh didn't hear you say
when i asked i got to get a slight or blissful also get gas for yeah
graves said she might have said that you were having a heart attack just to make you feel better about why it
i didn't know if she didn't i didn't know she didn't just make me feel better
i just heard to say that and then when i when i got to the when i got to the emergency room the a cardiologist said i don't think you're having a heart attack but they did some tests and then the test
one was
was anyone i do the test anyway last lead to doing another test which was at risk factor in it
and but i accepted that i went so
that the conversation occurred between me and grace and the paramedics and cardiologist and this conversation goes on
this is the practice is the festival conversation
and through disk when this conversation becomes wholehearted i'm scum suggesting to you
that we give ourselves do it and we welcome what's been given to us and what's been given to us is sometimes are really
awesome
and tremendous schematic view you know which means makes us tremble
and but it's also like you know you might be attracted to it but don't have to be but and were welcome it give yourself to it and in the fullness of that meeting we opened and can learn from something
that we cannot our our cosmic consciousness cannot comprehend but it can have a conversation with it
it can let into itself what it can't contain and we can have this relationship and we learn things and that that will liberate us from this
and so i am going to be encouraging
the exploration of are infinite life which which doesn't arise or cease with doesn't come or go which doesn't increase or decrease all that stuff going on in current consciousness but we don't trash karmic consciousness with pract
his face to face transmission with it and the way it appears sometimes is a face that we have questions about whether we should have a conversation with this face
and
it's time to question if that's another thing to have a conversation with i question that i should be talking to you
but as i was telling someone who was having some difficulty having a conversation with someone so we'll talk to them have talked about how difficult it has to have a conversation with them
so if you have difficulty conversing with me tell me you're having difficulty conversing with me i want to welcome you telling me the having difficulty talking to me
and i hope you welcome me telling you if i had difficulty talking to you
this conversation in order to be
fully responsible means going through some difficult moments and welcoming them and giving our face to the
this is that this is the door to our infinite life which is currently present all around us and it's more than just the vast forest or infinite life is the relationship between the vast forest and didn't enter a clearing
but also it's a relationship between all the other infinite number of clearings in the forest so his image and reassurances image was
this small clear space where there's a self and lots of self centered problems in the middle of a vast forest agent mentioned that out in the forest are infinite number of other clearings
and all those clearings
i are pervading the other clearings so the forest is supporting and creating the clearing there's no clearing without a forest right
that's why there's is a clearing it's called a clearing because the forest is vast and dark but he didn't mentioned that there are many clearings in this forest
and also that the clearings or pervading each other you're clearing your consciousness is pervading all the other consciousnesses
you're limited clear light deluded consciousness they are deluded consciousness is
you know without mean without being explicitly inviting you your consciousness has pervaded my consciousness
but since it since i'm teaching you that your consciousness is pervading my consciousness i say well why don't i welcome it then
and so i do welcome you to pervade my limited consciousness with your limited consciousness since you're already doing that
and also by the way my devoted consciousness excuse me is pervading your downloaded consciousness as if he were deluded enough now you have my diluted consciousness too but actually already did so as not really adding anything it's more like waking up
i'm sorry in a way that i make your life more difficult by pervading your consciousness but i'm gonna continue i can no i can't stop myself from prevailing your consciousness has some of you may have noticed
i try to stop myself and then i just pervade all the more
i try to hold myself back so i added
enter all your consciousnesses but then it just makes it more pointed
it penetrate more deeply i'm i'm i'm trying not to penetrate your gut issues it's really i am
and and while i've been talking away and pervading your consciousness as well i'm talking of course you've been per day my consciousness by raising your hands
and you change me but i still didn't call on your yet so now i will yes
hand razor
it's my new nickname for you
yes
yes hello hendrie sir

welcome
he had i think that too
and said that the up
they call
back
here that i usually would think that i use the word that way to
that navy
it's more like
accepting
rather than trying to push away welcome sounds like the doors wide open with yes yeah yeah i think welcoming and welcoming sounds like the doors wide open and then you say it's more like accepting well if i accept oh i see
hey that was a young teenager
yeah and i woke i welcome you making a comment and and no wonder you are you going to welcome when i'm in insane
okay
that accepting his
if if there's not accepting of not welcoming
so accepting is like i'm kind of like a minimal requirement for welcoming yes
but accepting isn't really accepting and as welcoming accepting the door in the kind of work and my talk about its accepting with the door wide open
but if you're accepting like partial acceptance thanks and let me know when you can open the door all the way
in part of accepting
and welcome me is is that might be
welcome to thought that i don't want to continue yes there will be another thing to welcome i don't want to continue the conversation should also be welcomed so i'm welcoming you and i i don't want to continue this conversation or i'm welcoming you and i'd like a different you please
that's my my thought that i would like a different view i don't think that's you
so i'm talking to you and i'm welcoming you and in the process of welcome you to start comes up could i have a different sonia please and then i welcome back
i mean i want wanted
and in this process yes go ahead is a precursor to welcome
it's just that
a precursor to welcoming would be the willingness to accept what's happening i think it's more than a precursor it's kind of the same thing
why is not the willingness to accept is like the is like a precursor to the willingness nor it's not the willingness to accept is the same as the willingness to welcome
but it just a it might come you first like i'm i say to you are you are you ready to welcome are you willing to welcome you i say no but i am willing willing to accept an amateur used he said you're willing to accept and you say yes or you accept a yet not yet i'm just willing
in our you actually simply say i'm gone from willing to i'm i'm actually accepting i say you're welcome you might say yeah
yeah while it's happening
and can also if if i ask you
are you ready to welcome for example me you get to say no way
and i get to welcome you saying no i'm not ready to accept you and you get to welcome no i'm not ready to welcome you and by accepting that you're not ready to welcome me he might realize you are ready to welcome me
yes
yes yes yes and
yeah and so and so that's that on something to say i can't walk him that i say can you welcome that you can't welcome in this a yeah for naya on know you're here in the welcoming band
or the welcome wagon
yeah
if you can't do it here we really that's the way you're welcoming
you are welcoming
already but we have to practice we have to learn how to practice it to realize that we are already welcoming that's reality
face-to-face transmission is reality
i see you
i see your face face to face transmission is reality but if you don't practice it you might not realize that and face-to-face transmission meet you welcome the other face
you can you are welcoming the other face right now i am welcome in your face is right now but if i don't practice it i might think i don't welcome you
yes cold

did i say rarely
i might have
but we really don't we just name we think we do we think we don't

what like right now

the that's a fact that strong sense that we do have to choose is one of the very difficult things that appears in the clearing
in the clearing nurses often for many people there is a strong sense of to have to choose and people come to me if you might not be surprised to hear agonizing over the strong sense that they had to choose which airline to fly on what cat
time to buy the ticket for whether the keep practicing zen whether they should marry someone so whether they should pay attention to so and so people think incarnate consciousness there's a strong sense that i can choose and that i have to choose this is part of the clearing
and that is very powerful that thing it's powerful and using it is powerful this is part of the power of the loaded consciousness is choice
i'm not talking about trying to be not that way i'm talking about how to be free of this powerful sense that i have to choose and also that i don't know which to choose and i'm really scared of choosing the wrong one etc
that's a people really suffer over his decisions and choice in of consciousness
i'm not sure but i think in the unconscious cognitive process lots of choices are being made but there's no self there so that choices are really pretty comfortable
and given those choices he wind up paying attention to some people rather than others
like my god unconscious process made the decision to to let me know that you raised your hand i did not consciously think okay now decide to notice that he's raising his hand
i did not choose to be aware that you're raising your hand but you are raising your hand i could have my own country process could have totally not let me know that either one of you raised your hand but it didn't let me know but i wasn't consciously coordinating that that information got to my consciousness my
unconscious cognitive process let me know that you two were raising your hands i did not true is tend to notice that your hands were raised
i didn't consciously say okay now i'm in a choose the his has raised
and i don't know whose hands raised that i didn't notice but i didn't notice it needs in my unconscious process didn't put him in much into my consciousness
once a it in my consciousness well then i got chairs which they call do i call on pole first or sonia or do i go by hoover as or and first i do go by who's best looking you know
i got know but because of because of some training in zen i am not agonizing so much about listening about i must choose that botkin rise in my mind i must use but i kind of know that that just a thought in my consciousness which anymore more
ahmed my change to or maybe i have to choose but not necessarily or you don't have to choose because you assign somebody else to make that decision yesterday i remember or yeah right etc
but one of the main afflictions of the clearing is the thought i must choose another affliction is i don't know what to choose another flexion is how can i choose the right thing these are these are afflictions
but again we don't try to kill them or say bad things about them we just called for what they are
there what the person's thinking about when their head and nizing so many many conversations the persons in agony trying to choose
and by having a face to face conversation with this agony
there can be liberation
and it's not just liberation from the agony without changing this thought at all the thought could just simply sitting there indestructible i must use the thought comes to be there
at the same time there is peace and liberation with that boston thought and more than that more than just peace in liberation which is pretty good there is openness to the infinity which is surrounding this littles
this little drama of i must choose
and also in the background of i must choose it would be nice if i chose well and the background that is what well as and so on
are you doing their call

yeah i would say i would say you know or
i don't usually
you can choose to fit you can think in your consciousness you can think go right ahead are my full support you can think that you choose to show me your face you go ahead if got to that
okay i bet i'd like i'd like engineer and if you do i doing that
so that's preventing me now but also i'm gonna say something you that hide i want to show my face to you but i'd already shoes to fish on my face i don't have time to choose my face to all of you i can't do it
but i knew my my faith is that i do show my face to you and my choosing to or not i can get into that but basically i've got other things to work on like for example i'm trying to remember that i want to give my face to you
not choosing whether to do it or not i want to just if i if i want to i'm with the program
if i want to practice face to face transmission i'm with them program but i'm not exactly choosing because i can't choose face to face transmission good and on the to
i can't choose for you to do it with me i can want you to do it with in other words i can want reality
but i'm not really i'm just more i'm emphasizing wanting and desiring the meeting rather than choosing it just
it's a energetically and an an an an economic decision on my part i barely can remember to keep giving my face as hard enough but to be choosing it's like is economically a disaster
the too hard if i was matthews and i gonna give my face to him but not her
i can barely member i wasn't my face that's for i'm i'm on i wanna get my face i'm on the donation path rather than diffusing path
and and in consciousness it looks like just choosing like someone say why you chose to look at coal rather than john
what i know i'm looking a giant i did you chose it look at john are you looking veronica you chose now i'm looking at korea you chose well i can see that i can see that it looks that way but i i don't feel like i'm consciously chose i mean did i put john next to call in or how far
you think i'm choosing this universe my effort is to give myself
to the person i'm talking to
not and that's that like a full time job and then i give myself but give myself fully that's my job if you look at the practices for bodhisattvas choosing who you're talking to as not unless
it's like being generous with who who's in front of you it's been careful of them you know of everything you say to them and everybody everything for you it's being patient it it's these practices were time trying to do with the face
i'm not trying to choose who i'm talking to
and if i see myself using i go whom i try to like welcome them that i slipping into looking like i'm choosing
but i that's not my that's not on my list of practices
yeah answer now here this person and is raising your hand you know i didn't choose for her raise her hand i didn't choose it i noticed it but i didn't notice it
now i couldn't i could add choosing in but i'd i'm not choosing you choose
so here i am mean catherine what's going on

yeah
yeah and that's that's that then they're doing it than the ten are facing their face in the anxiety
yes
i didn't tell me
he said
many she said that

they say
yes

this point to say that

well okay i hear it if you're feeling anxious you feel like if you give your anxiety to other people it will make them more anxious maybe
and you don't want to make them more anxious okay why i'm suggesting to you that when you're anxious on this is my suggestion ready that when you're anxious you to give it to other people and maybe it doesn't make them more anxious but not necessarily for zappa when you come to see me if you're anxious to give me your anxiety
yeah i'm asking you do you
they would and and you think you could not
if you're anxious do you think it could not give me your anxiety

do you think you could hide
you think you might be able to
while you were having a conversation right you
and i'm say here's my say sin but i say to you is that
if you're anxious and you try to hide it than you give me two things you can be your anxiety and you give me trying to hide it
we are intimately transmitting to each other if you're anxious you do transmitted to me and if you're trying to hide it from me
you transmit that to i said i'm say
now you might say won his case if i feel anxious i'm okay with showing it to him because i think he can handle it is blocking a it's not going to ruin his day because he's into this business
our people giving him
her anxiety he's up for it
but i want to tell you i'm also a from people not only giving me their anxiety but i'm up for them trying to hide it
which they do
and so i've had this conversation
not innumerable times just many times people cannot come to see me they're anxious and they try to hide it
and i see the anxiety and i see them trying to hide it and i often say to them you know this is not a good room to hide
if you want to hide it's better to go outside and closed the door i have you'll be more successful at hiding
if you're in another room but if you come in and you show me your face and you're anxious and you try to hide it i will see both
and it's not because i'm to get some kind of like or what
it's because you just came and gave me your you gave me and you gave it to me i wouldn't be able to see it if you hadn't given it to me if you're anxious you give it to me
yes
everybody has a capacity but some people say i do not have that capacity so people come and show their anxiety and the person says i don't see it
i don't see that they're anxious and and in that case the person might feel like i don't they die their the they're not going to notice it
because they're going to die casino want to see it in the first place to put the extra effort into not only and if the hide my anxiety for them cause they don't want to see it but this guy i think's going to see it unless i tried to hide it and now i've learned that if i try to hide and he sees that too
i could make a bid for this big thing and then they try to put this thing up in front of it who what's that what's that thing up there in front where that come from why you tell me about that i wonder why your and sometimes people really somebody a new student came to me and she said i noticed that tell i'm talking about this because they don't want you to see that
a new students can see that she was like putting up this big thing so wouldn't see the thing that she was feeling that can incisions very good may you continue to be this wise and your second week of practice
so but but if you think that you know this year anxious and you think this person won't be able to handle it and you try to hide it
i'm not tell you not to do that i'm just saying you're not going to be successful
it is making you know you're missing out i would say on the fact that you whenever you're anxious in human fifteen may feel like i'm fine missing out at this i don't want to me i don't want to be in on how my anxieties pervading whole universe
and you can feel that way i'm just saying it does when you're anxious it pervades everybody and if you want to hide that that provides everybody i'm saying if you would become a if you buy face to face meetings he will become open to the infinite life
which is that your paint pervades all bases
and it's fine it's enlightenment that everything about your pervades everybody and if you try to hide that who you are that pervades everybody
and face to face transmission will teach you that no matter what you are if you're a little bit anxious or tremendously acquisition pervade the whole universe if you're completely calm you pervade our universe
and vice versa
so i'm gonna not tell you not to hide i was just my but i might mention if you were hiding and i don't feel like you've hidden from me
but if you tried it i might say catherine this is really like not a good place to try that
it's actually a good place to show me that you're trying to hide though
if you wanted if you want to show me your trying to hide do it in front of me
then i'll be able to see more clearly you're trying to hide otherwise i wouldn't say no you're trying to hide
but people are very list me that come to me and they say i'm trying to hide from you and i can go while as is really interesting why would you come so far to hide from me
one of my dearest hold girlfriends the first time and matter he basically walked up to me when ohio i didn't know it all really she walked up real said i do not want to talk to you
oh one that really interested me
emerald
emerald
and i called an emerald emerald emerald but you can pass the bruce if you want to
ha
good
and
you see
you're giving me you're giving me your confusion thank you
or anything that you're feeling and experience pay
have a mother who had asperger's shared everything they freely and openly so when i came out and started sharing everything openly and freely with people
the responses night
or accepting or kindness or anything industry said
very different experience so i actually then had to like learn this was leaked the benefit of it but i had to learn how to you know
home and a to experienced that late com space but like like i had to at some point google okay that i cannot say what i need to say or having society and be like i'm feeling this way right now is the uncomfortable and have a really positive experience and fueling
maybe isn't getting older that might be shifting but i i'm just really having a hard time when you're saying just be open if if you have recently shared it it feels like such the opposite of how on i've interacted with big heads of of the response and i mean
just
i'm going back to face to face meeting occurred if you want face to face meeting if you received a teaching that this here's enlightenment that word that's this is where you realize your photos of your life
then it would go it would go with that that you would find a way to give your face to people
but i'm not saying that when you give your face
that the people will be ready for it
they might not
but also if you don't give your face i'm not saying that people room will be read for that
because there's something not either way you're the person you're talking to part of the skill of face to face transmission is giving your face
and then lieutenant watching for the response and give your face to that response
but you can also as part of giving your face you might the fish my givers i have something to offer to you and i'm not in it's kind of like it's a kind of a difficult to thing i have to offer and i'm wondering if you're up for it and a lot of people will say no i'm not
but anyway i i have something different or like i'm really anxious or i'm really frightened and i have in this is what i am and i'm not saying that yet but i'm i'm welcoming it in myself and i think i need now also not just to walk and myself but i need to meet
with somebody also
because i'm meeting with somebody i will will help me understand what it is
by being open to my anxiety and myself this is a really good start
so when i'm anxious i try to welcome my anxiety myself but then i track when i meet someone which i do than there's here it is and this is the person i'm meeting and if they they may be i come about it
but i would often check beforehand because of it's challenging for me to deal with the anxiety and it might be challenging for them so like i said i don't usually tell my granddaughter such difficult information know
but if i was at the if she ever gets to the place mm in some cases she will
where i can bring this up to her i might ask her beforehand whether she's up for it and she very well might say no she's not so i wouldn't but i still did offer
the gift of myself but she wasn't ready to hear more about it and my an so offer my face is awesomely listening and checking with what's being asked of me so i do think i'm being asked to give my face
but also i keep checking it with the thing i think it's asking me if they are from so that's part of it and that's and that's a very as a great art and it's also difficult to learn it
but i don't just walk up like us they don't just walk up to people who say
have you have you ever do realize that you're giving your face to everybody you meet i'd say that to everybody
but i say to you because of the situation and your and you're giving to me
what you know the information if you're feeling really confused and i'm welcoming i'm welcoming you feeling confused and i'm welcoming you telling me that you're feeling confused
if you start being confused i will welcome you not been confused i'm gonna i want to even though you know if not if you know even know it's more pleasant i still welcome you not been confused and i hope can i i want you to walk em when you're feeling confused and i welcome you
to tell me when you feel and confuse which you just did
this is where this is face to face transmission okay
and it's an immediate one so easy for you to say in public i'm feeling really confused but
i welcomed it and i think some of the other people welcome to to
my fact i think everybody welcomed it and we're trying to understand that
that everybody is welcome in a way you are and sometimes the way they express that is saying i don't want the way you are because they don't understand that they're a you
are they might even understand it but then i have this gift for you
saying that they don't want to but really there is confronted and playful
yup and for me when people tell me they don't want me i often don't get the joke
yeah but other times i do get the joke that all these people who don't want me is this a joke and i get it but i a don't laugh loudly because in the monday meeting in a stronger sense of the
that didn't wanna talk to me
so again i'm proposing reality is you are welcoming everybody everybody is welcome me you were kind to realize that by conversation because karma consciousness where we're suffering we do not understand he actually if
we don't understand then we suffer so we're trying to educate karma consciousness
deliberated yes
denver said you were before brisk
every
every time we meet you face-to-face yes
if even if we don't think we're trying to hide yes
if we put a story there we
try to present
a
crutches story of what we're doing
that is hiding that is putting in extra who side private with who is an end and use and you said you're hiding but also if you put a face on me
you're kind of hiding
when modern people put a face on me and the face they put on me is called he is not meet
that's the face they put on me dinner still lot of people think they look at me and said he's not mean that's a that's something that putting on me
i don't actually walk around with sing in i read the sign of me saying i'm not charlie
i'm not tracy but charlie and tracy or you some of your awesome i push not charlie on me this is also hiding you're hiding me from yourself to a lot of hiding going on
and face to face transmission is not a good place to hide
but actually it is a good place died because in face-to-face transmission is where you get called into question for you're hiding
yes
i am imagining you to be like this and i know you're not i'm hiding you from me and i'm thought i'm trying to hide me from you as part of was going on
so maybe i should say this is rather than this is not a good place to hide this is not a good place to succeed are hiding this is a good place for your hiding to be exposed
and get over it
bruce

causes

ah so in your examples i think that maybe there was welcoming but it didn't notice it
like there was a catastrophe
and you did welcome it are there was a catastrophe and somebody welcomed it and because they welcomed it they opened to reality but they may not have noticed that they welcomed
just like right now you're welcome be what i'm saying to you but you may not notice that you're welcoming
so welcoming i'm proposing that welcoming as reality
and you may be doing it and because you're doing it may step may serve you too
open the door that usually closed and if you if you fight the welcoming enough to some catastrophe it's like he might be successful in having a not be a door but the catastrophe is a door but you have to open it with opening yourself
every face is a door but you have to open yourself to the face and sometimes you don't even notice it's open to it but you did and then you see something in the face which you never saw before or in the catastrophe that you never saw before
but isn't that the catastrophe opened you
how it does navy the catastrophe calls you and says open it then was said success of his colleague and say open and you say nope
and then the catastrophe gets a little louder and catastrophe says open and you say nope
another catastrophe says open the louder and he said oh i get it you're just going to keep saying this until i open right and do i have to how long do have to yell at you like i have not been yelling just now but if i yell long enough everybody would open
how some people would open even for a quiet call so then the my favourite excuse why you yell louder at the people who refuse to listen i'd say i'm definitely known you you've opened your got enjoy yourself
and everybody will have to stay after class and did not open and i'll just be i'll it louder and louder but don't let somebody say noone wanted to try calling softer and softer
that's part of the competition
would you say why you say ah
thank you very much this is a adding the longest or
morning talk with ever had no abode
and i'm sitting cross legged
what's your
i don't know what's gonna happen when i try to get off
but i'm sort of value to say here i am sitting cross legged for two hours and of it's not too bad
things are the healing is coming along thank you very much for it
this wonderful beautiful face to face transmission

equally extend to read the place where
the area the buddha as a base
amber this
hello to say of them delusion
exhaustible
hi to him then
a server less
a to enter buddha as way it is unsurpassable
how to be honest