You get this impression from the way I feel and the way you look. You get the impression that you're suffering, is that right? Wait a minute. Some people are letting them drop. Dropped out and really got so bad. This illness, right? And it's been kind of, it's been pretty challenging practices so far. So I've been talking with you about the Four Noble Truths today. And I just keep getting impressed again and again and again by the first one.

[01:14]

It just seems to get deeper and deeper and more and more keeps coming back. All I want is suffering, suffering, suffering. And yet I don't feel bad. I feel like I just keep, I'm more like impressed by what the relevant topic it is. Christine asked me about erasing some stuff that was written here, and I didn't want to erase it all because some of these things I think are really relevant to you, Yeah, all these are very relevant to things that I want to dismiss with people. It's nice to have them already written here.

[02:17]

So we have one, two, three, four. Four truths, right? So the first two truths are about describing some sorrow. The next two truths are about Yipan. And the first truth is the truth of suffering. The second truth is the truth of origination. The third truth is the truth of the cessation. report to the truth of the path. Truth of the suffering, truth of the origins of suffering, truth of the cessation of suffering, truth of the path, meaning the cessation of suffering. But, you know, for me, I feel more like the path

[03:22]

Sometimes the path of practice or the way of practice leading to the realization of cessation of suffering, to me, practicing the path is, to me, that itself is in your body. So for me, the path of study of samsara, study of samsara is the adlana. Of course, we get better when we're not so skillful at studying the path, when we're not so skillful at studying samsara, then it seems like it's just mostly samsara dominant. And then as we get more and more skillful at studying samsara, more and more skillful studying samsara, it's like nirvana becomes more and more realized.

[04:26]

But somehow I feel like just when we first start studying, even unskillfully, when we first start studying samsara, nirvana is exposed, although not fully realized, it's there. So in some sense, there really isn't a study of the third truth. You don't really study it. You realize, and the realization of it is the fourth truth. And the fourth truth is to study the first two truths. That's the way it seems to me these days. So the first truth is suffering. over and over, studying suffering, studying suffering, studying suffering, to see how it is suffering. And I mentioned this a few times.

[05:30]

So there's this expression that's repeated by me and by you. We say that over and over. Actually, they leave out, in the chant we do, we leave out Namo. I don't know exactly why, maybe because... The worker wrote it. I got so excited. They forgot the namu. We say it kanzeon. Kanzeon. Yeah, but it's namu, kanzeon, namu, butsu. It's really namu, kanzeon, namu, butsu. But the worker wrote it. I forgot to write the namu. Because they got so enthusiastic.

[06:35]

Going round and round. After a while, the namu is not even said. Namu means I'm lining up with, you know, my life's kind of like lining up with khanzeon. I'm [...] lining up with khanzeon. Namu means homage. Homage means praise. Homage... But not just praise, not just your great man, but I line up with you. I line my heart up with Kanzeon. I line my heart up with Buddha. But first to this chance about Kanzeon. Then by lining up with Kanzeon, we line up with Buddha. It's pretty hard to line up with Buddha, because Buddha is not something, you know?

[07:40]

But Kamsayan, in a way, is almost like something when you can hear the cries of the world. Kamsayan is hearing, listening to the cries of the world, but not just listening, contemplating. I line up with the contemplation, listening to the cries of the world. I respect and join the activity of listening to the cries of the world, of recognizing, of contemplating the cries of the world. And then these four completions, So we do that inwardly, the cries of the world inwardly, externally, the world. The cries of the world inside, the cries of the world outside, the world.

[08:46]

We watch the origination, the origination of the cries of the world, we disillusion the cries of the world. have a body which feels the cries of the world, which hears the cries of the world, which thinks of the cries of the world. If just the cries of the world, when there's the cries of the world, that's it. And not attached to views of the cries of the world. The views of the cries of the world come to us in veins, as far as I know, that come in these five types of packages, five aggregates. So when these cries come, we try to develop a way of receiving which doesn't hold us on view of the cries of the world.

[09:48]

Keep lining up in this way and practice, and if we keep listening and being more and more skillful of listening in this way, then khanzeon gradually settles down into the khanjizai which is the bodhisattva in the heart center so shifting from khanjizai from khanzeon to khanjizai shifting from just pure listening hearing the rising world, to listening to the jiza, to listening to the way the self exists. When we really listen to and hear the way the self exists, then we will see that the aggregates which we have been developing a non-grasping attitude towards,

[10:55]

of the way we have views of the Skandis, but we haven't been holding to our view of the Skandis. In our listening to the Skandis, in listening to the cries of the Skandis, we develop this non-attachment in the process, and gradually we shift into contemplating the way the Self exists, Seeing the way the Self exists, we realize that these aggregates, which compose the Self, are empty. We are free from suffering. But we can't skip over kan-ze-on and go directly to kan-ji-zaya. We do both at the same time. First you have to listen to the cries. before we can see their origin. So the first truth, in some sense, is dealt with, first of all, with khan zeyang, listening to the cries of suffering.

[12:05]

If we can do that, we gradually settle into khan zeyang. Jizai is the origin of suffering. The way the self exists is the origin of suffering. And if the self exists in a way independent, that can be grasped, and it is being grasped, then that's the origin. So we're going from khanzeon to khanjizai, and then nirvana. In between settling into our suffering and having the vision of the way the Self exists appear to us, and then having that vision get clearer and clearer, what happens is something

[13:10]

Something in a sense clears up. There's some obstruction or some confusion that clears up in the process. Also, yesterday Norman talked about anger, and then he talked about mindfulness, the phenomenon of anger, and how important it is to observe the origination and dissolution of the anger.

[14:14]

So that's one example of something that is useful to watch the arising and falling of the formation and deformation of something. The first truth also originates and dissolves. Or, you know, the suffering, which the first she's pointing to, originates and dissolves. How do we witness the origination and the dissolution of suffering? Some, I think, some people, many people feel, if I could understand, then I could create.

[15:22]

But how many artists feel that if you can create, you can understand? And so I think here, in terms of understanding First Noble Truths, understanding of the First Noble Truth comes with the observation of the creation of suffering. And then it's dissolution. If we can see creation of suffering, we can understand the First Truth. So, the First Truth, of course we want to understand all four truths, but particularly the First Truth needs to be understood. If you can understand it, you can understand that it arises, and it arises in dependence on something, and that, you see what it arises in dependence on, you see its origins, then you see the second truth.

[16:30]

Then, in addition to understanding the second truth, we have to be willing to let go of the cause, the condition, the first truth. and then realize the third if you practice the fourth. Practicing the fourth is basically, for now, starting practicing the fourth is to get intimate with the first. Get intimate with the first truth. Get intimate with suffering. How do you get intimate with suffering? You have to be gentle about it. You have to be kind about it. You have to be ardent about it. You have to want to get into it with it.

[17:32]

Not because you like it, but because you want to be free of it, actually. So... Again and again and again, we need to study and contemplate suffering even at a distance. Even before we feel intimate with it, it's still good to observe it at a distance. Having it at a distance is not the best situation, but if it's at a distance, if there's any distance, we have to accept it's at a distance, and then contemplate it. and see how it works, and see how it works, and see how it works. The more we see how it works, the closer we come to it. And again, it is said in many texts, by contemplating suffering and contemplating how it arises, you develop a willingness to let go of your attachments.

[18:32]

which means you develop the ability to renounce some sort. But as I mentioned on Sunday, you have to be careful that you don't turn willingness to renounce attachment into hating. Suzuki Roshi was one of the few Zen teachers or Buddhist teachers I ever heard say, attachment is good. Or attachment is not so bad, that kind of thing. Now, most people think attachment is good, obviously. But when they start practicing Buddhism, they think they start to develop sometimes an aversion or hatred or rejection of it. To be willing to let go of something is not the same as hating it. Hating it is another form of attachment. So how do you be willing to let go of it without leaning into that?

[19:38]

And how do you make a resolution and realize that actually it is necessary, really, it's the best deal, it's the reasonable way to go, to realize nirvana. That actually is the way to go. How do you develop that without leaning towards nirvana? Well, we call that upright sitting. That's how you do it. You don't lean away from samsara. You don't lean towards nirvana in upright sitting. Of course, you want all beings to attain nirvana. But you want that without leaning towards it or leaning away from the world of suffering. On the cover of this book called Moon and a Dew Drop is a picture on the back, I think, of Dogen Zenji.

[20:48]

And when it was first published in the Treasure of Zen Center, mentioned to me, looking at the picture, he said, it looks like he's looking at nirvana with one eye and hamburger with the other one. One eye was like looking up and one eye was looking down. Yes? Then I'm getting this picture of another guy. And he also has that same eye problem. So actually, that's one of the disadvantages of being bodhisattva. It makes you kind of distorted. Rather than having these nice, you know, evenly set eyes look in the same direction, one's looking at nirvana and one's looking at samsara. It's kind of hard on them. So if you put the hand on one side of the face of these guys or these gals, it's a different impression of two sides of the face, emphasizing...

[21:53]

Wisdom and compassion. Compassion is looking at samsara. Wisdom, seeing and the rising of samsara. Therefore, release. So, again and again, how do we get intimate with the experience of the first and second truth? How do we get intimate with it? How do we get intimate with it? How do we get intimate with it? In one of the scriptures of the Buddha, he's talking about what is the noble truth of the origin of suffering. It is the craving, right?

[22:58]

In this one script, it's craving. And what, monks, is the noble truth of the origins of suffering? It is that craving which gives rise to rebirth, bound up with pleasure and lust. finding fresh delight, now here, now there. That is to say, sensual craving, craving for existence, and craving for non-existence. And where does this craving arise and establish itself? Wherever in the world there is anything agreeable or pleasure, there this craving arises and establishes itself. And what is there in the world that is agreeable and pleasurable?

[24:03]

The eye in the world is agreeable and pleasure. The ear in the world is agreeable and pleasure. The nose in the world is agreeable and pleasure. bubble. And there this craving arises and establishes itself. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, tangibles, objects in the world are agreeable and pleasurable and there this craving arises and establishes itself. Eye consciousness, ear consciousness, nose consciousness, tongue consciousness, body consciousness, mind consciousness in the world are agreeable and pleasurable and there this craving arises and establishes itself. Eye contact, ear contact, and so on. There, in the world, that's a place that's agreeable and pleasurable, and there's where the craving establishes itself, and arises and establishes itself.

[25:07]

Feelings, born of these, perceptions, volitions, All these different places in the world are places that are agreeable and pleasurable and there's where the craving arises. Craving can arise in a lot of places, in other words. In other words, any site of experience in the world is a place where craving can arise. And what, O monks, is the noble truth of cessation of suffering? It is the complete fading away and extinction of this craving. It is forsaking and abandonment of it. It is liberation from it. It is detachment from it. Okay, you get the picture? Almost every site of experience is a place where craving arises and establishes itself.

[26:10]

What is cessation? It is the abandonment of that craving. The detachment from that craving. The liberation from that craving. All those sites of experience, it is the detachment right at that little particular momentary site of experience. The detachment from the craving, that is cessation. That is liberation. So simple, so specific, so pinpointed, and the tip of an experience. Right there, the place where in the experience there is the arising of the craving and the establishment of it. That's the place where the abandonment occurs. And then he says, and how does this craving come to be abandoned? How does this cessation come about? Okay. Now, when I read that, my eyes kind of like, you know, I thought, oh, good, he's going to explain how to abandon the craving of all these places.

[27:14]

But he didn't say how. He said where? He said, where instead of how? How does this craving come to be abandoned? How does cessation come about? And he says, wherever in the world there is anything pleasurable and agreeable, there its cessation comes about. And then he says, and where are these places? And he lists the same places. He doesn't tell you any kind of like way to do it. Yeah. except the next truth tells you the way to do it. Under the third truth, he just tells you where it happens. Liberation happens the same place where, in detail, specifically all these places, each little place where craving arises, which is the origin of suffering, that's the same place the cessation happens.

[28:18]

What? Which supra is that? It's called The Greater Discourse on the Foundations of Mindfulness, which you've been hearing Norman talk about, right? He's talked about the earlier part. This is the later part on, what is it? Dhammasat, Mindfulness of Dhamma. This is the Four Noble Truths section of that scripture. And then the way, the how of the abandonment is answered in the fourth truth. The fourth truth is this eightfold practice, which is eightfold of being present and upright. You could also say it's eight poles of right mindfulness, or I guess seven poles of right mindfulness.

[29:33]

But you could also say it's seven poles of right view. It's the path. The path is how to be at those places where suffering arises, how to be at the place where suffering arises in such a way as such a disease. The cessation of suffering, the realization of the cessation of suffering, the realization of freedom happens at the place where bondage arises. That's why we have to practice compassion, because somehow we have to take a seat in this miserable place, which is not only miserable because suffering is there, but also miserable because suffering is arising, but it's also miserable because it's pleasurable and agreeable. It's a twisted situation. It's not just like flat-out misery. It's misery in the middle of a pleasurable situation. What's so pleasurable? Basically, isn't he saying that basically every experience in the world is pleasurable and agreeable?

[30:36]

I mean, sort of he said that. Now you could say, well, maybe there's some other situations in the world that aren't pleasurable and agreeable, and then craving doesn't arise there. I didn't hear him ever talk about these other places that aren't comfortable, that aren't agreeable, and that there we don't have to talk about it because craving doesn't arise there. Maybe he just didn't mention it because in some realm we're just completely disinterested and there's no need to talk about it. And maybe those are the uninteresting places in our life. Okay, fine. So maybe he's not saying, actually, all of our experiences are agreeable and pleasure. Right? Did you call that little stupid statement? Yes? Go ahead. You know, in a way, you just think, well, okay, then renounce it all. And that doesn't need the liberation.

[31:40]

Pardon? Renounce it all? Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. What do you mean by all? When you say renounce it all, what is the all you're renouncing? What do you mean by it all? You know, go to a monastery and renounce life, you know, say, okay, so I'm not going to have any emotions or anything. I'm just going to turn my head away from that. But that doesn't mean that you are liberated. Just because you say, okay, I'm going to go into a cave now and meditate for 300 years there. not have to deal with the real things that are coming up. That doesn't need to do with liberation. No, but renunciation of craving does lead to liberation. So it has to be renounced at the moment that it's happened. Yeah, right. That's right.

[32:44]

Renounce it. When the craving comes up, Or as the craving comes up, renounce it. If it hasn't come up yet, renounce it before it comes up. At the moment. In a particular moment, say, I renounce craving. And when it comes up, you say, hi. That's it. And does that mean... Does that mean you don't... You don't ever do... What does that mean in terms of, okay, so here it is, I see it. I see that pleasure coming up. I see I'm with a friend and all of this is coming up. Pleasure coming up, that's the sight. A pleasureful sensation comes up, okay? That's not a problem. She didn't say that's a problem. So as long as I don't act from it, I can see it just as long as I'm seeing it. The pleasure comes up and then craving comes up. The craving is the problem.

[33:45]

Right. The pleasure is not the problem. Look at all the places that there's pleasurable, agreeable situations. He just said every situation basically is a situation where craving can come up. What he's saying is the truth of cessation is the abandonment of the craving at those places. And how do you abandon craving at those places? How do you abandon craving at those places? You become intimate with the suffering the craving, the origination of the craving, that intimacy with what's happening is the abandonment of the craving. Craving is not interested in what's happening. It's just interested in getting a certain aspect of what's happening. It's interested in, for example, possessing the pleasure, promoting the pleasure, avoiding the loss of the pleasure, promoting the life of the one who is experiencing the pleasure.

[34:45]

That's what craving is about. But study of that whole process is the abandonment of the whole process of craving. And the study will gradually not only, the study immediately is the abandonment of the craving. The study attitude immediately abandons the craving. It's immediately nirvana. A moment of studying the origination of these things, where you're totally dedicated to study how your craving arises, that's nirvana. However, you still may have to deal with more craving coming up because there has not yet been such a clear vision of the source of the craving. The source of the craving is an idea of self. I want this pleasure. But if you keep watching the process by which the craving arises, at these pleasurable sites, gradually this view of self will present itself.

[35:48]

And as you see it clearly, and clearly and clearly, when you understand the self, there will be no more craving even arising. There will be no need to abandon anything anymore. Because the source of the craving has been seen through. This is like the full realization. But in a sense, every time you study rather than mess with what's happening, you're realizing you're wrong. And at that time, you renounce the world. And renouncing the world means you renounce the world which was created by karma, which was based on craving and the delusion of self-existence. So the world which comes at us The world which presents itself to us is a world which is sight after sight for the arising of craving. Because of karma, we have created a world for ourselves where we're constantly presented with places where craving arises as a matter of course.

[36:57]

Just as a matter of course, it's not your fault at that time that it arises. It is a karmic result that craving spontaneously comes up. from the world which is built on itself. If you can abandon the world at least to the extent of abandoning karma for a moment and study the world and study how the craving arises in the world at these sites, your vision will clear and you'll see the source of the craving which is the source of the world and you'll see the dissolution of the world too. You'll see the dissolution Of the first truth of suffering, you'll see the dissolution of anger, you'll see the dissolution of the world, but also you'll see the arising of the world, the arising of suffering, the arising of anger at that place. Okay. So now I'll just stop my presenting thing, but the main thing is intimacy, intimacy with the first two truths. Intimacy with the first two truths is the path.

[38:04]

That's how to abandon craving. So I think the next person was, I think it was Scott, Nick, Chris, and a lot. Somebody over there? Okay, Scott. Are you using the word craving and suffering as the same thing? No, craving is the origin of suffering. The Buddha said, the origin of suffering is craving. So how do you distinguish? Is the suffering that you don't get what you crave for and that's suffering? No. Pardon? Are you Mr. Blossom, Mark? When you crave for something, like, for example, you crave for something pleasurable, and when you get it, you suffer. Yeah, when you get it yourself.

[39:10]

Like the guy, the little Buddha who told us about, as soon as he got in the shower, he started crying. You know that guy? Yeah. As soon as you get pleasure, you start suffering. If the pleasure arose in a field where there's suffering, I mean, where there's craving, okay? So you'd say, I think I said two problems. You did some karma. Then you got something pleasurable. And you think, well, that wouldn't make me unhappy. But at the place where the pleasurable thing happens, craving arises. You don't just get the pleasure, you get pleasure with craving. Some aspirin, you want some more. Yeah. And then you start kicking yourself because you're not tasting the ice cream. Say, now the next bite I'm going to really taste. Now here I am eating this ice cream cone, it's almost gone and I don't even know what flavor it is.

[40:11]

Now I'm going to really concentrate. I'm going to taste at least the last bite. And sure enough, you're so concerned with the fact that you've wasted all that time, you know, but you're already thinking of what flavor to order next. And you really do it bad. You see, at the sight of the arising of the pleasurable thing, the craving arises right then. That's the craving right there, at that time. Now the actions which you did to get a world... And this is where they start, this is where the Buddhists start talking bad, saying bad things about the world. Because the world which we're dealing with was kind of a bad world in the sense that it's very tempting because it's a world which is site after site, occasion after occasion, which are primed, which are set up to produce, to be the birthplace of creation. And the reason why it's set up that way is because the world was built on the idea of self. The world was built on delusion.

[41:12]

Because based on delusion we get karma. Karma makes the world where we have these pleasure sites. At the pleasure sites, the craving naturally arises. That's why sometimes not only the problem is this belief in self, the fundamental problem is the belief in self and the craving. However, as a result of the karma, based on that, the world comes back at us in such a way as to say, okay, see if you cannot have craving about this. But this world that comes to us is the world produced by our karma. The world is not given to us by someone else. The world, according to Buddhism, arises from our karma. We don't just get any old world, we get a kind of created world. So, belief in self, I can do something by myself, I wanna do something by myself, and I do something by myself, and then the result is you get a world back where I can do something by myself, there's craving, I'm gonna do this. And then more. At some point, you can stop and say, there's a pleasurable feeling.

[42:14]

You can say if you want to, you get into, I did something to make it happen. You can get into that too if you want to. But basically, that's just a mental idea. There's this pleasurable idea that I did it, did it. And at that place, you can rise there. Or you can just get the pleasurable feeling, just this nice taste. Pledgeable sight, taste, craving. What's liberation? What is it? It is the abandonment of the craving. It's not the abandonment of the physical experience. Because the physical experience will keep happening, even though it's a result of karma, it will keep presenting itself for the rest of your life. It will keep presenting you these sights. The results of karma will keep presenting you sights for the rest of your life, each sight of which could be a place where craving arises. But if you keep abandoning the craving and abandoning the craving, pretty soon you start seeing that the source of the craving in the first place is an illusion. And it gets easier and easier not to fall into the craving and abandon it.

[43:20]

That's the liberation. And I think maybe Nick's next. Yeah, I was going to ask you for some examples. One was chocolate cake, but I think you covered that with the ice cream. The other one was... Like, what about craving for enlightenment? Well, that's what I talked about before. When you... They don't usually say craving for enlightenment. They talk about... the intention of the determination or the conviction that enlightenment is good and that's what you want to spend your life working on. And that arises from seeing the world, the problems in it, and then also maybe seeing that it has some conditions and that it might be possible to attain realization because the conditions were dropped. So once you hear about how good realization to liberation would be and get the idea that it might be possible, then you might say, well, I want to go for that.

[44:23]

Okay? Yeah, at that point, I'm wondering, it seems to me there might be a fine distinction between termination and break. Yes, that's why I say, at that point, you have to be careful not to... desire nirvana, love nirvana, and hate samsara. The very reason why you're determined to practice a way which would lead you to nirvana is you see the problems of samsara. But how can you see the problems of something and be willing to let go of it without hating it? Because if you hate it, that hating attitude is not the attitude which will liberate you. That's the same world. But seeing a fault in something and saying, I'm willing to let go of you is different than rejecting it with distaste. So that's what I'm saying. Zazen is to look at nirvana and samsara at the same time and intend to realize nirvana, but without a preference for nirvana. Because, as we say, nirvana is not samsara.

[45:29]

The enlightenment is not delusion. They're inseparable, but they're not the same. And attention is not exactly exact. Right. Intention is not desire. I'll talk about desire in a minute. But the intention to realize liberation is not a desire. It's not a preference. You don't prefer it. You intend to realize it. Because in fact, if you like nirvana, you lose it. If you hate samsara, you get it. Flowers fall in our attachment. Weaves grow when we dislike them. Flowers and weeds are not the same, but you cannot separate them. Flowers and weeds have no meaning aside from each other. And they're not the same. However, our attitude of grasping the flowers makes them fall, and our attitude of hating the weeds makes them grow. So the intention to realize the flower must be done without grasping it or rejecting the weeds.

[46:35]

That's Zazen. That's how I said it. That attitude. That kind of addresses my question, but that little point there still bothers me about it. It seems to me that in order to have an intention, for me, it depends on having A certain amount of, let's say, will will maintain my intention. Just so easy to try to forget to lose it. Right. So this is not a karmic intention. This is more like an understanding. Karma is intention. This kind of the intention or the will or the vow to utilize liberation must be basically that I love to study karma rather than me. the path into another kind of karma.

[47:37]

I'm going to like sit. I'm going to sit upright. You're going to sit some stuff. Sit karma. Don't like to push karma around. That's more karma. But just ride karma and get karma into your elephant. Just sit karma and ride karma. But don't try to push the elephant around. Just ride it. That kind of intention. Now, desire, it's okay to have desire. There's one kind of desire located at that, and it's a desire to benefit others. That's it. And even the desire to sit on the elf? Even the desire to sit on the elf. You know, the desire to do that, you know, the desire to class us in a way which is not more common, which is not more me doing something. But it's subtle. It's a tricky balance. It's a more difficult balance. There is a balance between wanting to realize something that we need to.

[48:38]

Being convinced that it's good without preferring it. Because if you're convinced that something's good and you prefer it, then you shit on something else. Because a waste product has this gaining idea. So we have to sit with no gaining idea. Pretty hard. Well, now, some people can sit with no getting an idea, and the way they do it is they never sit. You know? I was not trying to get any of those eyes in. So you never see them. You have to go there every day. Every day, day after day after day, and sit with your full, give your whole life to sitting in your seat with no getting an idea. That's pretty hard. But that is the way. That's the way they get intimate with the first two truths and realize the third. That's the fourth truth. It's that kind of intimacy, that non-meaning intimacy with your experience. First, up here. Bill, Bill, thank you. Oh, just a second. Hey, uh, two questions, but it's Kaan Zayan. You're trying to have to do it as the cries of the world. No.

[49:38]

Kaan Zayan is contemplating or listening to the cries of the world. Listening to the class of the world. Kaan is contemplation. You also know, contemplate, listen to you, say is the world, owns, cries for signs. But as I started with the Son of God, you know, it's our other compassionate, you know, basic level of opening our heart to suffering. Opening ourselves to suffering. Internally. And thinking about that, I started reading and picked out one of those mindfulness practices with mindfulness of joy. Yes, that rises, yes. Those cries of the world, including the world's cries of joy, as well as cries of joy. When we close our heart to our pain, when you open your heart to your pain, you open your heart to beauty.

[50:41]

So you can't just go around working on the four horrible truths by looking for suffering and where you can find suffering. No, no. Because then you choose the suffering you want to look at. But the way you open up, you open up by... The West has to be great, but that's too much. I would say, this means studying. Yeah, just study. Just study. Just study, study. Look at it. Look at it. What's happening? What's happening? Just open to what's happening. Don't go looking for suffering. Open to what's happening and suffering again. Hello? Sit in an attractive spot in the forest. long enough, all things present. Don't go to the sewer building for us to work in the sewer. It's actually a nice place, all things present. And this word study, yes, means to be intimate.

[51:44]

Learn how to be intimate. Learn how to be intimate with your experience, moment by moment. If you're intimate with your experience, you'll see the arising of suffering. If you see the arising of suffering, you'll understand the origination of suffering. When you understand the origination of suffering, that understanding will be the same as the abandonment of the condition. It sounds like very little... Academic intellectual component is very much affective. Very little intellectual? No. If you've got an intellect this size, it has to be fully that size. You have to fully engage your intellect in this process. Because intellect is one of the places, one of the sites where pleasurable things happen is intellect. That's one of the places where craving happens. That's one of the places where suffering happens. Intellectuals fight with each other. They say bad things about each other. They go to war with each other. They crucify each other.

[52:47]

They burn each other at the stake. Intellectuals do that. The people who ran, who run these Salem witch trials and inquisition were intellectuals, a lot of them. They had these really good reasons for why it's a good idea to burn people and hang people and draw and quarter people. This intellectual understanding produced that stuff. Because at those intellectual sites, In their intellect, they had craving. And they had suffering. And they wanted to, like, crucify a few people to lower their suffering at those intellectual points. Which, you know, was a good deal. Marianne, next. And then Emma. It seems like one of the conditions of craving seems to be lacking, that we're lacking something. And I was wondering if you could call craving when you want to move away from an unpleasurable experience. She said, first thing she said was, excuse me, one is, it seems like craving comes from lacking something.

[53:54]

And I would say this right, because at any experience, you know, at at the sight of the eye, at the sight of the color, at the sight of the taste, at the sight of the mind audience, at the sight of the intellectual proposition, at that place, if there's a sense of self, it seems like something's missing. As long as there's a sense of self, as long as there's a sense of self, we feel like something's missing. Because we have said there's me and not me. This not me is missing. And that not me that's missing is not just not missing, but it hurts. It's a painful not missing. And it's a not missing which we feel like, well, it's not missing, but also, what's it going to do to me? So it's a not missing, and we don't just, like, feel like lost and want it back. We're also afraid of what it's going to do to us. So we feel anxious all the time. And we're in pain because that not me, which is missing, is going to maybe kill us. So this... This is something missing.

[54:56]

Yes. And because we feel so anxious and terrified of the not me, of what's missing from me, because of that, we think, well, I'm going to do something. And we see that, we see, well, yes, if I let go of the me part, if I could somehow let go of that, then the anxiety would happen. And also, the craving wouldn't have to cease and there would be no suffering. So, just let me say this quote again. The Buddha said, monks, train yourself thus. When in the herd, let there just be the herd. In the seeing, let there just be the seeing. In the cognize, let there just be the cognizance.

[56:00]

And he imagines that there just be the imagined. When for you, in the seeing, there's just a seeing. And in the heard, there's just a heard. And in the cognizance, there's just a cognizance. And imagine that there's just a seeing. Then there will be no here or there. Or as we tweet, we'll all fall flat and that will be the end of something. You can't identify with the situation, you can't disidentify. So we have to get into the situation where the pleasure is arising and let the pleasure be. When the sound arises, when the sight arises, just let it be that. No more, no less. That attitude is the attitude which takes away something mystic. It's hard to be present at present, right? What was the next part you talked to? When we're talking about unpleasurable experiences, what do we call craving?

[57:01]

Moving away from unpleasurable experiences to unpleasurable experiences. Yes, that's number three, craving. Three kinds of cravings. Sensual cravings. Kana, uh, uh, what is it? Kama-kana. Craving for existence. Bava-kana. Craving for non-existence. Above-kana. Non-existence means I crave to get away from this existence, which is painful. You want to get away from painful experience. You want to get towards, like, or craze. And you want to avoid, I mean, and you want to get, uh, These are three kinds of cravings. But I didn't say Buddha never talked about unpleasurable experiences. I'm saying he didn't talk about unpleasurable experiences at his sight of craving. He says that craving arises at agreeable, pleasurable places. That's where it arises.

[58:03]

It didn't mention that it arises at unpleasant places. However, pleasant places when a craving arises turn into unpleasant places. We turn the world into unpleasantness by the craving of the rises of these agreeable, pluralism places. Okay? Emily? Well, that was kind of my question, but the sight of pain, if you study the rise of pain, is it great there? Yes. You'll see the craving, which is the desire for annihilation. Oh. You're a negative experience. You want to get rid of the negative experience. So I think this practice period has been very good because I've talked to quite a few people who really have some negativities come up for them in this practice period. It's a little old three-week practice period. Even though you only had three weeks, you didn't wait around for the fourth week. You managed to get right in the middle of some negative experiences, which is, there it is.

[59:12]

And then, not only that, but I observed and heard that people had a craving to get out of those negative experiences. They wanted to get rid of those negative experiences, even to the point of contemplating not following the schedule or leaving Greenwich. Such ideas occurred to people in the face of these negative experiences, which happened right here in this lovely valley. Can you imagine? But that's great. This is what a monastery is for. It's a place where negative experiences can come up and sit in your face and just keep presenting themselves over and over. And then we can see, can they arise? Will it be craving? And if it's craving, notice how much that does. Can you stay there and observe this? And the answer is yes. You are doing that. I see you do it. You can report negativity and wanting to get rid of the negativity. I've heard that report. This is what a monk notices. You can become intimate with the negativity

[60:12]

And the arising of the craving to get away from, stay present with that, and intimate with that, you will realize nirvana at that place. That's where it happens. It happens right there in that yucky place. It's a tough place. I saw you handling the problems before. Okay. So, something arises. Okay. Could be an intellectual thing. Something specific. Well, you know, I'll give you a specific example. My favorite specific example is the one that was so helpful to me. So many good phrases before, but I want to use it again. The Tassajara Haisando Founders Hall was built by my friend, Damar brother.

[61:19]

And then that beautiful building. And actually, as soon as it was done, it already looked like, you know, an ancient monument. Somehow the way it was done, you know, it was very rustic and kind of wabi-sabi right at the beginning of just being finished. The walls were very, you know, kind of homespun kind of walls made of Tassajara mud and straw. And then just after a couple of days, actually the building started falling apart. So it looked really even more ancient with the mud falling off the walls. You know, with the laths showing through, it was beautiful. But, you know, at that rate, it would have no mud pretty soon. So we thought, well, let's repair it. So far, so good. No craving, right? Just various things are coming up. Then somebody starts talking to me about various scenarios for doing it. And I hear one scenario is take all the mud off and spray paint stucco on it. Take the mud off, take the lava off, put plywood up and then stucco it with the stucco machine.

[62:22]

And then somebody else said, well, that would really be obnoxious. And Paul would hate it. So let's find a way to do it, find some other way to do the mud. And then somebody else said, well, I know of a chemical you can put in the mud which retards the drying. So the problem was these Japanese buildings with that mud were not built in such a dry climate. So somebody said, I know of a chemical you can put in the mud which will prevent it from drying up. So I thought, yeah, that seems better. And then my mind thought, well, that would be better. So I had this idea, this site, this concept, a pleasure virtual concept of the best way to do it. And then I actually kind of like wanted it to be that way. So there was actually some craving of holding to that idea, holding to that skanda, to that view. Okay? And then I became a different person around this one particular site. I became charged with some, you know, real holding to that idea.

[63:26]

I'm not done. And then I went to talk to one person about this, and I noticed the way I talked to him, that I had, you know, sometimes you have electric charge on you, you don't know, and you catch somebody and you go, so I found out in the conversation with this person, I found out there was a charge on this because he kind of jumped back. when I expressed my feeling about the way to do this. So I noticed, wait a minute, you know, I didn't really realize I had become really charged up, fired up about this, that I was holding that, I was craving it. It didn't seem like a big thing, but it was enough so I felt like I can't talk about this anymore. Because I'm gonna like shock people with my holding for this. And then I went and sat in the Zen though. after I disqualified myself for the conversation because I was craving around what I thought was the best way to do that. And I sat in the Zendo, and when I actually sat down, I realized my mind was just, just in terrific turmoil around this craving, around this way of doing it.

[64:39]

And I was in Paris, too, because, you know, I was in Zenjo with this mind in turmoil. And here I was, you know, and I was facing out, just this stormy sea in my mind. And I remember Deng Shan saying that when you hold to a view, you're thrown into a poisonous sea. And I was in a poisonous sea. But I knew it, at least. I knew I was a poise to see, and I knew the reason. I knew that I could see the craving, which was the origin of this very embarrassing turbulence in my poor little meditator's mind. And then, as I sat there for a while, this little voice came up in me, which said, clearly observe. I don't know where it came from. And then the ocean went smooth. The attachment to this project dropped away. I have no attachment to it anymore. I still thought that was the best way to do it, but there was no charge anymore. So that's a case of where preference, craving, turbulence, and seeing it, and I didn't say anything you wanted, but it did it just the way I wanted it.

[65:55]

It didn't always happen that way, but it did in this case. Things worked out just the way I thought was best. So sometimes you have to disqualify. When you notice this about yourself, you have to disqualify yourself from conversations about this thing because you're temporarily kind of like insane. When you talk about the origin of it, that was noticing the moment that... You know, it wasn't noticing. The noticing is not the origin. The noticing is wisdom. It's the beginning of wisdom. The noticing it is the path. The attachment to that, it happened gradually. The idea developed. At first I was kind of balanced. When the idea finally formed and I grabbed it, that's the origin. I wanted it this way. This was best and I want it that way. Rather than this is best and so what? Yeah, this is best, so what? You also have another best and you have a best and you have a best. We all have the best way to do it. That's not craving. That's the origin.

[66:56]

And seeing the turbulence around it, seeing the turbulence and noticing the turbulence, that was the beginning of the turning it around. As soon as you grasped and you created the turbulence, they were called outlets. So maybe next time I'll go into how you observe these outflows, because if you observe the outflows, as you see the outflows, somehow you can see through them to the source of the outflows, which I saw. And I didn't intentionally let go of my attachment. Just something inside me said, clearly observed. It didn't say let go. It said clearly observed. And I let go. I don't know what happened, but it did. I didn't care anymore. I wasn't attached. And my attitude, my view didn't change at all. I just wasn't holding it. So that's an example of a whole, a happy story. I didn't stop in the middle, you know, and cause a bunch of trouble. I got out of the situation, fortunately, and went and sat with myself and looked at my craving and the suffering I was creating, or the suffering not that I was creating, but the suffering that was created to the attachment faced by my view of influence.

[68:01]

I was going to ask if you would see that renouncing and accepting in this context were the same thing. Renouncing craving? Renouncing craving? Renouncing craving and accepting for it. Very similar. Accepting in the sense of clearly seeing it and not messing with it. You know, just letting it be, just the body means, you know, just the mental factor of craving. That you're sitting in such a way, you're present in such a way that you say, craving, that's it. craving arising, craving going away, that's it. That kind of attitude is abandonment of the craving. That's just clear observing the craving. That's what the Buddha did. The Buddha said, this is suffering, this is suffering, clearly observing this is suffering, accepting this is suffering, clearly observing this is the origin of suffering, clearly observing this is the cessation of suffering. So that kind of acceptance, which is like, not just okay, but accepting it,

[69:07]

as it is, is very much the same as abandonment of the craving, of the attachment, of the blah, blah. Now I can't remember who's handler first, so Martha and Walter and Charlie. Oh, Lee's next. Lee and Martha and Walter and Charles. Yes? Okay, we have cravings. The Borecipes have cravings, just saying, do they just acknowledge them and That's it. Bodhisattvas do the same mindfulness practice that any so-called non-bodhisattva who is non-meditated, I mean non-bodhisattva meditated. The thing about bodhisattvas is they combine their study of the Four Noble Truths with great compassion. Now, not everybody that's studied the Four Noble Truths necessarily has made followers of great compassion. If you take the vows and create compassion and put it together back to the study of trading, you have to make this a commission Buddha.

[70:07]

If you only had compassion for yourself and you didn't have compassion for others, you still might be able to study the Four Noble Truths really well. Or you even might have compassion for others but not necessarily say, I'm going to work for them. I really want everybody to be happy. I really do. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to concentrate on understanding the Four Noble Truths myself. So you could understand the Four Noble Truths with that kind of compassion. Bodhisattvas have great compassion with it. I'm going to understand the Four Noble Truths as part of my work to liberate all beings. Yeah, until they understand what's required to understand. Namely, that the whole rationale for craving, maybe the self, you can't have craving without self. So until the Bodhisattva understands thoroughly, like at a cellular level, like inside your cells, and even get all your mitochondria to line up with this, that there's no self independent of all beings, until the Bodhisattva heals that weight, up through the mitochondria, into the cells, into the blood, into the muscle, into the brain, all this sense of self comes up and creates freedom.

[71:27]

So as long as the Bodhisattva hasn't settled that, the Bodhisattva is afflicted by that ignorance. just like a non-person who doesn't have that same dot. Okay? We have the same work as somebody who did in the box. So you're asking these people. So next is Martha, Walter, and Harry, and Walter. At the sight of an experience of the years, it seems to me that if you simply acknowledge it as pleasure is craving it, instead of acknowledging it just as experience or sensation, that just in the word pleasure there's pleasure. Well, unless the people have to experience it. It's a feeling. That's the experience. It's a pleasant experience. In that case, it wouldn't be. Right? Right.

[72:28]

But if you identify it as the word pleasure to it, like, oh, great, here's something. No, no. That would be a separate experience. Okay, so you have a visual experience, and it's in a context where there's pleasure, where you feel comfortable with it. You don't have to necessarily have an FCA that is comfortable. Buddha said that for you. When you have a visual experience, at that time, object of consciousness is the color. But there is a feeling coexisting, always. Feeling is not object of consciousness. Feeling is just coexisting. Right? See, beauty is not a feeling. Beauty is something you understand. Because you can understand beauty in what it takes.

[73:30]

Beauty is what you see when you open your brain. And opening your brain means you don't crave for it to go away. Now, short of not craving it anymore, at least you can open to the experience of it. And then you open to other things too. When you open totally, then you get to see everything. You evaluate an experience as pleasurable. And that's a case for the later case there where he said one of the sites where creating can arise is where you have a feeling this is pleasurable. That's an experience. But he said all those other experiences are situations which are pleasurable and agreeable.

[74:37]

All those other ones. But there's also an experience, a direct experience of feeling where feeling is the experience. And that's another place where you can have craving. If you can have craving, even though you're not aware of feeling or anything, you just have a craving for, for example, the example of, you're looking at a sunset, you know, and let's say, you may not be aware of it, you may also, you won't see the colors, you may have a positive sensation. But there's nothing else to say. But you feel it. Anyway, you look at the sun and say, ah, beautiful. And you say, I'd like to adjust it for a little bit. Or just hold it a little bit longer. Isn't that a feeling? While they're driving down into Greengolf, you're driving on the Greengolf's road, you know, you come around the corner and you see the ocean. It's gorgeous. But you keep moving. You can't stop in the car and see it, right? So you keep moving and you can feel that kind of losing that beautiful sight. And then you get another one. Now, if you stop the car,

[75:39]

let's say you could stop the car safely, and just stop the car and look at the ocean, you lose it then too, right? You ever do that? Like actually stop and look? You feel while you're driving, it's so beautiful, you want to stop, you're missing, you're going around the corner, you just grab the shot, and you have to give it up. But if you actually could stop, which I've done a few times, it doesn't work. It doesn't, you know, you don't get more of it. But I wanted to get more of it, because I could only get this one little thing, and I could feel it, just this one little, oh! And then it's gone. So I think, this time I won't stop. I just stop. And then it's gone too. There's the craving. Or, you know, to try to fix up, you know, a little bit more sunlight here, a little bit of rain on the leaves here. Just kind of messing with every scene, you know. We always do that. Right? That's the craving. Every taste we do that with. I shouldn't say we do it, but every taste offers an opportunity to mess with it.

[76:41]

That's the great. The cessation is the abandonment of that messing with experience. That's why I said the Yirvana is to stop messing with samsara. Or if you are messing, then don't mess with that. That's samsara. I say samsara is given, in other words, messing with the situation, don't mess with the mess. Don't mess with the suffering that arises from the mess. Observe the mess, yes. Observe the experience and observe the clinging and creating and suffering and rising. Observe the basic experience, the craving, and the craving. Observe the best experience, the craving, and the craving. Do that over and over until they understand. That's the word. Okay. Walter? Walter? Yes.

[77:42]

Because of the condition that arose while I was here, over my life, I don't follow the schedule. And not following the schedule, I feel a great deal. I feel accepted from others. Uh-huh. That's suffering. Yes. I like the word. Well, so like there's a schedule and something that is happening and you're not going to. Right. So you have some kind of experience there. Some idea arises. Yeah. I feel like... It's like we're separate. And the feeling of separateness is because of some pain for me. Yeah. Painful idea. Okay. That's not so bad. If you read this, that's all there is to. That's all there is to. That's it. Yeah, I'd like to be different.

[78:46]

Just, you know, the fact of, you know, like, all the other monks are going to Zendo. and it kind of hurts a little bit, kind of like the thirties take clean and wide all the time. But wanting to be different from your situation, that's not compassionate. Feeling it and wanting to be free of all suffering is okay. But wanting to be a different person, that's the best part. And you see, we are following the schedule, and when something happens in the schedule, it means that we're following the schedule. If you go, it means that we're following the schedule. If you don't go, it means not to do it, you follow the schedule. Some people in the world don't keep track of the schedule. It doesn't make any difference to them that they are or are not in this practice group.

[79:47]

But some people who aren't at the practice group, it means it's a difference to them when it's on the practice group. In some sense, you're in the practice group. So that way, you are following the schedule because every event needs them. Let's say it does, then you're still following the schedule. It's still interesting. So there's more questions, though. You probably should stop. Hi. Hi. One of the things I want to talk about today, which I did, was how the forms of practice, the monastic schedule, is an opportunity to study this craving, the arising craving. So I might be able to do that next time. And my observation is that the schedule has provided that for you, many of you. Trying to work with the schedule has churned up and highlighted this kind of situation of the craving around the

[80:58]

You know, your body and the schedule, your mind and the schedule. And the forms, you know, orioke and posture and all that. This is a way for the situation to be highlighted, which is already working, but maybe I could talk a little bit about that next time.

[81:13]

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