Gee, she just gave me a, just gave me a note. It's a practice opportunity. Well, I'm very upset. So, today I'd like to share with you the story about the 42nd pioneer, Ryozan Enkan, Daiyosho, Chinese, Liangshan

[01:06]

Yiran Guan, number 42. Liangshan is the name of his mountain he was abbot of and Yiran Guan is his monk's name. I didn't look it up, but I'm pretty sure it means round mirror. I wanted to tell you that I, for me, studying these stories and bringing them and sharing them with you, offering them to you, discussing them with you is a delight. I hope you're enjoying it also.

[02:09]

I think it's a delight in, I feel in a way that it's a, it's kind of a delight in the conscious way of my ego enjoys the stimulation and enjoys the accomplishment of bringing these stories to light. Partly because as far as I know at Zen Center, in our, for example, 25 years of being in Tassajara, I don't think these people have been discussed in the Sangha. That's partly also because we didn't have a translation of the transmission of the light until the last couple of years and now we have two translations of it. And if you look on lineage charts of Chinese Zen, you may notice sometimes that they have like the very famous Zen teachers and you get to around Dongshan Liangzhe and then after him you have, what's his name?

[03:23]

Ungo Doyo, Yunju Daoying, right? And after that they also tend to go dot, [...] down to Dogen or down to Rujing. Because these people are not very well known, they hardly know their dates or anything and not considered to be very important. But for us in this lineage, it's like telling us about the head and the cervical vertebrae and then tell us about, you know, the sacrum or something like that. There's lots of links in our life story that are missing. So for me, it's like bringing to light in these stories, making more sense of our whole history, the history of our practice story. So in my conscious mind that's kind of pleasant but I also feel at some deeper level, there's some fun or some joy in bringing these stories out. And, you know, when I thought about what fun is that, what does it feel like, I thought of

[04:35]

a couple of things. One is I thought of Jung in his middle age after he broke up with Freud and had kind of a nervous breakdown. You know, he spent several years just playing in his garden behind his house and making little, you know, earth mounds and little tunnels and stuff and putting little animals in the dirt and building a house too. Kind of like playing in a sandbox in his 40s after spending many years, you know, quite an intellectual, scientific person. He just played in the dirt with his toys for a number of years and made some nice drawings too. And that came to mind. To me, playing with these stories is a little like that.

[05:38]

I also thought of when I was in my first practice period here, 23 years ago, I remember just shoveling dirt in the sunlight, shoveling dirt and watching the shovel in the dirt and the sunlight play on the piles of sand and so on. And it felt to me very much like when I was a little boy and I used to, again, on piles of dirt and make little roads and push my little trucks up and down these little roads and make little tunnels into the dirt and put my little trucks in there and stuff. The same kind of feeling, you know, something very satisfying about playing with the dirt in the sunlight. And working with these stories touches a similar kind of thing. And I also thought of many sessions, particularly at Tassajara, particularly the

[06:42]

spring session somehow, and I was talking to Daigon about it too. So many memories come up of childhood while sitting. Sometimes not so pleasant, sometimes pleasant. This is, again, maybe the shadow coming to visit, feeling safe enough to just let this stuff wash over us, sometimes in quite an avalanche of memories. But also kind of, I don't know, anyway, it feels good in a way sometimes. And I also thought of Suzuki Roshi over there, you know, playing in his garden for a number of years and the way he played with those rocks and made mounds of dirt, put plants in the ground. And part of what I guess I'm saying to myself out loud is that

[07:58]

it's business about studying the self, although it is extremely important. And if we don't do it, well, you'll hear about that in a minute, but it's also very satisfying and enriching, even though it sometimes is very painful. Sometimes you drop rocks on your fingers and break them. Suzuki Roshi did that. That's why he had that one bent finger, dropped a rock in his finger working in the garden. So, the 42nd pioneer studied with the 41st. They have everything very well organized in those days. And another thing which it says here in his biography is, No One Knows Where the Master Was From. And it also says that about

[09:09]

Tung-An Tao-Pi, No One Knows Where the Master Was From. And the next one, it says that, well, maybe not the next one, maybe the one in between, his biography has not been recorded in detail. So, there's not a lot of information about him. That's part of the kind of dark fun of studying them. His name was Yuran Guan, and he studied with Tung-An, the latter. He was his attendant and responsible for taking care of his robes and bowl. Once Tung-An entered the hall to give a talk and was supposed to wear his robe at such a time,

[10:24]

and Yuran Guan brought the patchwork Dharma robe, and as Tung-An took the robe, he said, What is the business beneath this patchwork robe? And Yuran Guan said, Nothing. He didn't have an answer. So, Tung-An answered for him and said, Learning about Buddha and still not reaching this realm is the most painful thing. Now, you ask me. So, Yuran Guan said, What is the business beneath the patchwork robe?

[11:33]

And Tung-An said, Intimacy. Hearing this, the master was greatly awakened. He made full bows and tears of gratitude wet his robe. Tung-An said, Now that you have had a great awakening, can you express it? Yuran Guan said that he could. Tung-An asked, What is the business beneath this patchwork robe? Yuran Guan said, Intimacy. Tung-An said, Intimacy.

[12:36]

Intimacy. What is the business beneath this patchwork robe? There's two answers. One answer is, Studying the Buddha way and wearing this robe and still not reaching this realm is most painful. That's one answer. What is the business beneath this patchwork robe? Intimacy. Intimacy. I wrote down here in this book, If we continue going through these awakenings, maybe by the time we reach Suzuki Roshi, we'll all be awakened. That's what I wrote, but then actually occurred to me, well, what about when we reach Tenzin Zenki or what about when we reach you?

[14:08]

Now, don't worry, that'll take quite a while to get there, because, you know, we're only going to get to 45 this time, and then it'll take quite a while to get from there to Dogen and get through Dogen, Ejo, Tetsugikai, and Kaizan. And then after that, there's no books about these people, so we're gonna have to translate them. So it'll be quite a while. So by the time we get down there, maybe. Will we be able to still hear? Can you hear now? Sliding. Good. And what Tung-an said here, that, you know, wearing this robe or studying the Buddha way

[15:17]

and not reaching this realm is the most painful thing. It's a kind of restating what Dung-shan said a number of generations before. Let's see. Tung-an, this particular Tung-an is Dung-shan's great-grandson. A monk asked, oh no, Dung-shan asked a monk, what is the most miserable thing? And the monk said, or the most painful thing. And the monk said, hell is the most painful, miserable thing. And Dung-shan said, no, that's not right. The most miserable thing is to wear this robe and not settle the great matter. The great matter is another word for this realm. It's the same realm we've been talking about in previous cases. The realm of Buddha's mind.

[16:23]

So, these people that are talking here, they have pain, we have pain. And given their pain that they've experienced, they feel like even the greatest pain that they know is the pain of wearing this robe and not settling the great matter, not reaching this realm. So, later after he was awakened, the teacher Yuan Guan often spoke of intimacy in his teaching.

[17:34]

And intimacy is one translation. Another translation would be inner being. Inner being. Or another way to, probably the, I can't find the, I don't have the original of this, but probably it's inner being or the character being could also be translated, it is, it is. So, you could translate it, it is within. Or inner being or intimacy. So, he often talked about this inner being or this, it is within in his teaching. So, and hearing this story, this story spread around and so students came and asked him about what was beneath the patched robe all the time. What's under the patched robe? What do you got under there? What's the business there? So, once a student asked, what is the business beneath the patchwork robe?

[18:47]

And Yuan Guan said, not even all the saints reveal it. The monk asked, what about when it's hard to protect the house against thieves? And the teacher said, if you're aware of them, they won't trouble you. The monk asked, after you recognize them, what then? The teacher said, you banish them to the land of no birth. The monk said, isn't that the place where they will live in peace? The teacher said, stagnant water does not hide dragons. The monk said, well, what is the dragon in living water?

[19:48]

The teacher said, it makes waves without any ripples. The monk then says, what about when all the pools are empty and the mountains are leveled? The master got down from the seat, grabbed the student and said, don't wet the corners of this old monk's robe. This is how he taught about intimacy. In studying the story, Kaizan says that studying the way of the Buddha and not reaching this realm

[21:07]

is most painful. How true these words are. Even if you demolish your zafu from overuse and persevere mindless of fatigue and are a person of lofty and spotless conduct, if you haven't reached this realm, it will be hard for you to escape the prison. A birth and death. Even if you possess the four kinds of eloquence and the eight sounds and your preaching covers everything like mist, your speech rolls like waves in the sea. Your Dharma preaching astounds heaven and earth. You make flowers rain from the sky and rocks shake. Still, if you have not reached this realm, the old lord of death will not fear your eloquence.

[22:09]

Even if you practice for an exceedingly long time, exterminate thoughts and instill your emotions, make your body like a withered tree and mind like dead ashes. Mind never reacting to external things and never losing mindfulness when confronted with events. And you become liberated while sitting and die while standing. And you seem to have acquired independence and freedom with regard to life and death. If you have not reached this realm, it's all valueless. Thus, an ancestor said, our predecessors all considered the business to be the one great matter. At the time that I formally concluded my training as a Soto priest,

[23:22]

one of the things that most impressed me during that ceremony was the simple statement that there's one thing that all these pioneers share. And that is the one thing that all these pioneers share. And that is the concern with the one great matter. The concern with liberating beings from suffering. That's the one thing that they all share. Each one's different in many ways, but this one thing they don't differ on. They all considered this business to be the one great matter. So,

[24:35]

hell is not the most painful thing. Wearing this robe and not clarifying the great matter is the most painful thing. If you put a little spirit into it, you will do fine and not give in to a life of peace and tranquility or violate the spirit of the Zen community. The ancients said, if you wish to be able to take care of this matter, you must stand on top of the highest mountain and walk about on the floor of the deepest ocean. Then you will have a little life. If you've not yet realized this great matter, then you're constantly treading in darkness. In the Lotus Sutra, this is the most shocking thing that he has to say.

[25:50]

So, the Buddha gets a little excited about how wonderful the dharma is, this dharma which preceded the Buddha. And Shariputra begs him to expound this dharma. He just begs him to expound this very profound, mysterious dharma, so difficult to understand. And then Shariputra makes this beautiful poem which I won't read right now, kind of long. But after he finishes, the Buddha said, enough, enough, cease. There's no need to say more. If I explain this matter, all the worlds of gods and persons will be startled and perplexed.

[26:57]

So, Shariputra again said to the Buddha, World Honored One, be pleased to explain it. Be pleased to explain it. Why? Because the assembly here, numerous as hundreds of thousands of myriads of kotis of akabhas, asamkhya-heya, living beings who have already seen the Buddhas, whose perceptions are keen, whose wisdom is clear. If they hear the Buddha's teaching, they will be able to believe it respectfully. Then Shariputra, desiring to announce his meaning over spoken verse, Sovereign of the Dharma, Most High Honored One, be pleased to explain without misgiving. In this assembly are countless beings who can respectfully believe. The Buddha again said, enough, enough, Shariputra. If I explain this matter, all the worlds of gods

[28:07]

and persons and fighting demons would be startled and perplexed and the haughty bhikshus would fall into a great pit. The haughty monks would fall into a great pit. Haughty means arrogant, you know, thinking that they possess the perfect law already. And again, did you say a thing about the bodhisattvas? A bodhisattva thinks that hatred and hate is not the Buddha Dharma. The bodhisattva thinks that desire is not the Buddha Dharma, this is the arrogance of a bodhisattva. A bodhisattva thinks that delusion is not the Buddha Dharma, this is the arrogance of a bodhisattva. So these haughty bhikshus, these haughty monks, the Buddha doesn't want them to fall in a

[29:09]

pit so he doesn't want to give this teaching, which he will give, and again then he makes a verse, enough, enough, no need to say more. This dharma is subtle and inscrutable. Those who are haughty and arrogant on hearing it would not believe it respectfully. So then Sariputra once again says to the Buddha, World Honored One, be pleased to expound it, be pleased to expound it. In this present assembly there are, and so on, such persons as these will certainly believe respectfully and throughout the night will be peacefully resting and in various ways abundantly benefited. Then Sariputra again announcing his meaning in verse, did this other verse, and then finally after that the World Honored One addressed Sariputra and

[30:14]

said, Since you have now already thrice earnestly repeated your request, how can I refuse to speak? Do you now listen attentively, ponder and remember it? I will discriminate and explain it for you. When the Buddha had thus spoken in the assembly some 5,000 male and female monks, laymen and laywomen straightaway rose from their seats, respectfully saluting the Buddha, withdrew, wherefore because the root of sin of these beings was so deep and their arrogant spirit so enlarged that they imagined they had attained what they had not attained and had proven what they had not proven, in such error as this they would not stay.

[31:16]

And the World Honored One was silent and did not stop them. Thereupon the Buddha said to Sariputra, Now in this congregation I am free from useless restrictions and I have nothing but all that are purely and truly real around me. It is good, Sariputra, for such extremely haughty ones as those who are gone would not believe. Now carefully listen and I will expound the matter for you. Sariputra said, So be it, World Honored One, I desire joyfully to listen. The Buddha addressed Sariputra, Such a wonderful dharma as this is only preached by the Buddha

[32:18]

Tathagatas on rare occasions, just as the Udambara flower is seen but once in a long time. Sariputra, believe me, all of you, in the Buddha's teaching there is no word that is false. Sariputra, the meaning of this dharma which the Buddha has expound as the opportunity serves is difficult to understand. Wherefore, because I expound the law by numerous tactful ways and with various reasonings and expressions, the law cannot be understood by the powers of thought and discrimination. Only Buddhas can discern them. Wherefore, because the Buddhas, the World Honored Ones, only for the reason of the one great cause appear in the world. Sariputra, why do I say the Buddhas, the World Honored Ones, only on account of one great

[33:24]

cause appear in the world? Because the Buddhas, the World Honored Ones, desire to cause living beings to open their eyes, another translation says, cause beings to open their ears to the Buddha knowledge and insight so that they may gain pure mind, therefore they appear in the world. Because they desire to show all living beings the Buddha knowledge and insight, they appear in the world. Because they desire to cause beings to understand the Buddha knowledge and insight, they appear in the world. Because they desire to cause all living beings to enter the way of Buddha knowledge and insight, they appear in the world. This Shariputra is why and the only reason why Buddhas appear in the world.

[34:26]

The one great cause to cause beings to open their eyes and ears, to show them, to open their eyes and ears to the Buddha knowledge and insight, to show them the Buddha knowledge and insight, to cause them to understand the Buddha's knowledge and insight and to cause them to enter the Buddha's knowledge and insight. This is the one great matter, which isn't so bad. The heaviness comes in pointing to the fact that although this is a wonderful thing, that's all that they're concerned with. And if you miss this point, there's nothing else really that they're concerned with. They may seem to be doing something else and other things are okay in a way, but this is all that causes Buddhas to appear.

[35:29]

This is the only cause. To wear the robe of Buddha or to study the way of Buddha and not reach this realm of the one great matter, this is the most painful thing for the ancestors. So there follows a more wonderful, very strong harangue by Kesang Zenji about how it is only

[36:42]

for the purpose of getting people to thoroughly clarify the self. It is only for this one great matter that all these people are concerned about. It's the thing he says over and over again and again. That's it. So maybe I won't read that to you. I feel that's getting kind of low pressure system is setting in. What? I just might conclude on a light note that he says, if you want to reach this realm completely, you must first of all abandon everything. You must not even seek Buddhas and Zen pioneers. You must not even seek the realm of Buddhas and Zen pioneers. You must completely abandon everything. Much less can there be love or loathing of self or others.

[37:49]

Just look directly within without a hair of intellectualizing. Sounds good. And remember what Buddha said, the Dharma cannot be understood by the powers of thought or discrimination. Doesn't mean you should have to stop thinking and discriminating, just don't expect that stuff to understand the Dharma. I was talking to somebody yesterday and she said something about that she enjoyed the talks, but she wasn't saying that that meant she understood them. And I said, well, is there anything I can do to help you understand? And she said, that's my work.

[38:53]

I couldn't disagree, but I was kind of wondering, well, how is she going to do it? I said, so how are you going to do this work? And she said, I'm not going to hinder the one who understands. And I realized when she said that, that I was thinking, you know, when she said the work, I was thinking of some way that you could think of what the work would be. Like, you do this and that and this and that and then understand. But when she said that, I just felt a little bit silly and I felt, okay, get this intellectualizing, figuring out, calculating guy over here and let the one who understands, understand. Only Buddha understands this Dharma.

[40:08]

But we do keep thinking that we have to figure out how. We keep stepping back into that. Right now, Buddha is listening to the Dharma and enjoying it. Stuart said to me, I know Buddha says it's all okay, but I don't think so. I have higher standards. It is only for the purpose of getting people to thoroughly clarify the self. Now, the other day I read this story and before I read it I said, this story doesn't

[41:29]

work very well for me. And then when I read it, I said, oh, I understand it. And then I thought, and I'm thinking, that it often happens to me that when I'm reading stuff and I understand it, it's fairly useless. When I don't understand it, those are the things that often turn out to be most useful. So this story, which I didn't understand, has become quite useful for me. So some of you already understand it, so it's not going to be very useful anyway. But I thought I'd say it again. It's this discussion between Tao Pee, number 40, and a monk. The monk says to him, not everybody's like me though, I understand. Some of you may be totally different, I'm not saying you have to be that way. I'm the kind of guy who got one F in college in calculus and I immediately became a math

[42:35]

major. Not everybody works that way. I guess not everybody notices it to get Fs. Some people don't have that good fortune to get an F or to have a broken back or whatever. So F means failure. I failed calculus. So then I took it again and got an A, which is not so hard after doing it once, the second time is a little easier, right? But then I got an A and I just kept taking math courses. I never really got very good though. It was always a second language. Anyway, this is a story like that. I failed the first time I took it. So the monk said, how can I stop mistaking my reflection for my head? Now the first time I read that story I thought, you know, like reflection, you're looking in a mirror, right? You see your reflection, you think it's your head.

[43:36]

But later I thought, oh, partly with Anja's help, I thought, oh reflection means the universe. This is my reflection. You're all my reflection. But because I don't understand that, I think it's my head. I think this is myself. How can I stop mistaking my reflection for my head? And Tao Phi says, who are you talking to? And the monk says, what is the right thing to do? And Tao Phi says, if you seek from someone else, you get farther and farther away from it. The monk says, what if I don't seek from someone else? Tao Phi says, where's your head?

[44:44]

The monk says, what is the right thing to do? Embracing its young, returns to the Milky Way. The jade rabbit, pregnant, enters the purple sky. Maybe some of you would talk like that. Maybe Stuart. Very good. But I just, fortunately or unfortunately, the piece of paper I chose to write this story on, on the back side of it, it says, the Ben Doei schedule with instrumentation. Ben Doei means a meeting for negotiating the way, which they had in Minnesota. I went to one of them or two of them. And so it has this schedule with instrumentation.

[45:49]

Can you see the schedule with instrumentation? Can you see it? So it says stuff like, event, time, 2.50, Jikido gets up. And you know, you've seen Jikido instructions. So they have Jikido instructions. Then at 3.28, time drum. 4.3 times 3. 4.3 times 3. 4.3 times 3. Dot, dot, dot, dot, drum. Four hits, Doan. Dot, dot, dot, bell, under the drum. Three hits, Doan. 3.30, wake up Han. Dot, dot, dot, show Dohan. Three hits, Jikido. Wake up Gata. All. Wake up Bell. Ray. Jikido or Shuso. 3.45, Jungpan. Dot, dot, dot, or zero, zero, zero. Show Dohan. Three hits, Jikido. All should be in the Zendo. All should be in the Zendo before Shuso's entrance.

[46:59]

All. 3.53, dot, dot, dot, Shuso Han. Three hits, Benji. Formal greeting by Shuso. 3.55, formal greeting by Doshi. Hojo Han. Three hits, Jisha. 3.40, Zazen. Three hits, Jikido. 3.40, end of Zazen. Naido Sho. Three hits, Jikido. Two hits, Jikido. Like this, you know, and then it has all this other stuff. Ah, stuff, Shoten, server, Shoten, Tenzo. Show Dohan, Dojo Han. All this stuff. Page after page of instrumentation. What's that got to do with studying the great matter? What's it got to do? Is this the golden follow embracing its young, entering the Milky Way? It was then. For whatever, ten days that they did that. And, uh, I'm not criticizing, because that's the next precept, but, uh.

[48:06]

The people of Minnesota really had a hard time with this family style. They had a hard time. They couldn't get out of the way of this family style. And one night, uh, Narasaki Roshi was leading it. One night, he stayed home. Katagiri Roshi gathered the monks and said, Hey, what's the matter? What's going on? Remember that, Tia? Tia was one of the people that was having trouble. Didn't ya? This is somebody's family style here. Family style. Of what? Of being concerned and realizing the great matter. So, we have this thing of balancing between it's all empty,

[49:10]

and this stuff, this empty stuff's appearing. Page after page of empty stuff. How do you take care of this stuff? What's the right... What's the right way to take care of this instrumentation? How do you, you know, not take it too seriously, and not resist it, which is taking it too seriously? How do you think it's not too great, or too stupid? How do you take care of this stuff? How do you question it? How do you respond to it? Excuse me. What was the comment about that poem? Every time you don't understand the poem well, I don't know if it was a good job, but it seems that in both metaphors, in both sets of images, there's something wonderful doing something intimate in terms of being conceivable. You do have high standards.

[50:18]

So the family style of Soto Zen is sometimes spoken of as meticulous attention to detail. And certainly this is meticulous attention to detail. Just even make this chart as meticulous attention to detail. Not to mention finding a way for beings to take care of this and do this stuff. So on one side, there's a return to the inconceivable, while doing this meticulous attention to these details, and then there's a return from the inconceivable to take care of these meticulous details. And at Tassajara, we can see often, you know, especially if you come down maybe to visit from the city, you notice the monks being very concerned about little tiny details. It seems incredible how they would get caught up in these little details. Like I said myself to Galen just a couple of days ago, and I said to Stuart, when you're doing the echo, you know, and you go,

[51:53]

we dedicate this merit and virtue to... whatever. It's supposed to be, we dedicate this merit and virtue to our great original, rather than, we dedicate this merit and virtue to our great... So when you start the name, you go, instead of going, you go, Tozamboso, or our great original. Little detail. Who cares? Well, I do. But what's the attitude that's not taking it too seriously, and yet caring enough to say something? What's the... So I don't think that exactly our family style is to be picky about little details. It's rather that our family style is to use these details to test whether we're getting picky. To see if we can get involved in all this entanglement

[53:07]

without getting entangled. And yet, not to just set up entanglement just for entanglement's sake. Just to see. Okay. People handle this. Let's make it a little more complicated to see if they can stand that. It's not quite like that. What is it? So I've talked too long, and now I have this precept sitting here. This precept. About not discussing... It literally says not discussing the false. Or not fault-finding. Number six. In parentheses, of others.

[54:10]

But actually, it doesn't say of others. It just says not discussing false. But it means of others. It's okay to notice your own faults. Okay. There's a way to do it properly and a way to do it improperly, but it's okay. But there seems to be no reason to discuss other people's faults. And I think that actually, some people in this community, I don't know about Tassajara, but other parts of Zen Center, can't believe or can't understand how you can live without finding fault with others. This seems impossible. But, I guess there is this thing called Buddha, or Buddha's mind, which does not find fault

[55:14]

with others. How? I'm not sure how to say this, but what I think of as an example is you were just talking about the echo. So, how in the process of paying attention to details, in other words, are we saying a fault is not necessarily something we want different than what it is? Well, that's a good example. So, somebody does it that way of raising their voice before that, you know, they drew it before the name rather than on the name, okay? And so, I go over and say that there's another way of doing it. Now, I can think that this Don, or this Kokyo, this chanter, has just done a fault. Or, I can think that what we have here

[56:19]

is the Buddha Dharma. And that everybody's on the same path with the same Dharma, the same realization, and the same practice. I can think that. So, if I'm the one who's walking over there, I can have that understanding. So, when I'm talking to this person, we are doing the same, we're doing one practice together. It's not like I'm doing the practice, and she's not, and I'm going to go over there and tell her what the practice is. The practice is, I'm going over there and talking to her. We're having this conversation. We're doing the same practice. We're on two sides of the same thing, or we're two people in the same boat talking about chanting. There's no fault, if there's no fault. The way that that person chanted was the opportunity which led me to go over and practice with them. Before I went over there also, at that time, I also were one practice.

[57:21]

Two people, one going, ah, and the other one listening. That's one practice, same practice. We have the same realization at that moment. Two different views of it, one's chanting and one's listening, but in Buddha's mind, that's called one realization. Buddha's realization is, one person is chanting and one person is listening. One person thinks that this is the way I'm doing it. The other person says, that's the way they're doing it. One person thinks, oh, this is the way I was instructed. The other person thinks, this isn't the way you were instructed. Or it may be the way you're instructed, but it's not the way it shows in the book. In the next moment, they're talking. Now, on both sides, they can have a feeling like, both sides can feel like we're doing two different practices. This is not Buddha's mind. And then both sides can feel that there's a fault in the other. One can feel that the chanter was at fault. The other can feel that the abbot instructing is at fault for being, you know,

[58:22]

for treating me like I'm making a mistake or whatever, for treating me like I'm at fault. Rather than conveying to me that we're doing one thing together and we have one realization. One time, out here on the steps, Suzuki Roshi came up to me and he said, he said, I was watching you while you were carrying the stick. And he said, we have a formal way of carrying the stick, of walking while you're carrying the stick. And he showed me this formal way of walking. I did not feel like he was finding fault with me. I felt like he was giving me a gift of practicing with me while he was talking to me. Not only was he showing me how to do something, which I could practice, but he was there with me, talking to me. But it's quite easy also to see this is the right way. You're not doing it that way. We're doing two different practices and you come over and do my practice. Because my practice is the practice,

[59:22]

rather than ... We're talking about chanting now. This is the practice. And no fault finding whatsoever. Or even before you talk, when you see the person doing something, like if you watch the Doans doing things, you know, and they ... maybe the usual way is to walk clockwise. Maybe they walk counterclockwise. At that moment of seeing them walk counterclockwise and seeing that counterclockwise in relationship to the clockwise in your mind, that's the practice. And they're doing the same practice over there. They're walking counterclockwise thinking probably that that's the way they were instructed. That's their experience. But you're together doing the practice. They're showing you, you're seeing it. Or vice versa. The so-called teacher's walking somewhere and the student's watching. Same practice. Teacher can do something unusual and the student can say, I didn't think that was the way.

[60:23]

But they can also understand, oh, this is the practice of me, student, watching teacher do something and me, student, think the teacher's doing something unusual. This is the practice. And that, I propose, is Buddha's mind. In the form of not finding fault with others. Not finding fault with students. Not finding fault with teachers. But remembering, as Dorgan says, within the Buddha Dharma, all are the same path, the same Dharma, the same realization, the same practice. So faults of others are not discussed and confusing speech will not arise, will not occur. Some people think

[61:26]

that in the Buddha Dharma, some people who are who are committed to practicing Buddhism think that within Buddha Dharma some things happen which are against Buddha Dharma. But the Bodhisattvas, the Mahayana says, nothing that happens within Buddha Dharma is against Buddha Dharma or against the precepts. There's nothing against the precepts in Buddha Dharma. What you were saying about how everything has no error, you can say that

[62:27]

we speak fault to others and that we recognize no error. Well, I want to say something better than yes, but I can't. Sorry. I'm having a similar response to the one I had yesterday, which is maybe it's just another side of what you just said, something else. I'm having a similar response and I want to say, I want to try this out. What would it be like

[63:29]

not to find fault in people? Because I happen to be one of those people that practices finding fault in others quite a bit. But to do that, I think from this place, I would be denying what was going on, what was actually going on. Should I acknowledge first that it's true that I'm finding fault and then from there... Yes. Yes. Yes. First is confession. Then take refuge in Buddha. If you don't believe that everything out there is yourself and is teaching you what you are, then confess that. Say, I do not believe that this woman is me. I do not believe that this woman is showing me what I am. I don't believe it. I confess that. I confess it.

[64:31]

Now, if I confess it completely, I'm ready to take refuge in Buddha, which is take refuge in the mind, which cuts off all attempts to understand what's going on with the mind, which cuts off all attempts to try to understand what's happening with the mind, with the discriminating consciousness. Hmm? Yeah. If you do not pass through the barrier set up by these ancestors, if you do not cut off the mind road, then you are just like a ghost clinging to branches and grass. But if you have not cut it off, you should admit it. You shouldn't go into denial when you hear this kind of teaching. And there's a strong tendency when people hear Zen teaching to immediately go into denial, because they want to be a Zen student.

[65:33]

Right? Sounds so groovy. So just deny how you're feeling and be a good Zen student. No. First confess, then be a Zen student. What? Or first have other people point out to you, even. Not even point out to you, but tell you how they practice and wake up to the fact that you're trying to figure out how to practice with your brain. Confess it and enter the realm where everybody's the same path, the same practice. Think about that. Like Pam got her hand before you. I saw you. Now she's raising her hand. This is the same practice. She raised her hand. When I see these hands, this is the same practice. Not my practice. The same practice. One practice. One Dharma. One realization. This is the realization.

[66:34]

This is the one realization. I cannot criticize this one realization of Buddha's mind. This is the Buddha's mind now realizing itself. Pam. So we're just saying how we're reflected in other people. So we can use that in the charge. We're saying what? How we're reflected in other people. How when someone does something, we get some sort of charge connected with their activity. It's usually something. Or maybe we don't have a charge. That's also OK. No. It's that they're doing something that you don't admit about yourself. Something you've excluded from yourself. Well, I... We're doing one practice here now.

[67:39]

I'm not criticizing you. And I'm saying no. I'm saying if you know it, if you accept that it's part of you, really, you don't dislike it in another person. In another person. You may dislike it in yourself. But if you don't dislike it in yourself, in other words, I mean, if you do dislike it in yourself but you completely accept it, you don't dislike it in other people. Yeah, I know. OK, good. That's what she said. So what I'm confused about is that it says how can I stop mistaking my reflection for my head? So I thought that what you had said about that was that we're mistaking this reflection for ourselves. No. I mean, it sounds like that. Right. He says how can I avoid mistaking my reflection for myself? Right? But it isn't how can I avoid thinking that this is myself because that would be OK. If you see that this is yourself,

[68:40]

OK, then work yourself back to what the self is. This is an exercise that Jim and Daigon told me about. If this is... not if this is yourself but if you think something's out there, work your way back to your head, for example. And suddenly when you get here this is the one thing what you're dreaming about. Everything else is you can see. When you work your way and get back to what you can't see anymore namely the self or the head, that's the one thing you can't find. Everything else you can see. This is all you'll ever know about yourself. There's no self in addition to this. So everybody else's practice, all the strange ways they're practicing is the only practice you have. You have no other practice than what you see out there. But we think that I have a practice over here and then there's other people doing something different. Like just now I was talking,

[69:47]

you know, while I was talking I could hear myself and now you're talking and I'm looking at you. That's all there is to me. If I try to come back work myself back from these sounds I'm hearing and this vision of your face which I'm seeing and try to work myself back to me I won't be able to find anything. What's mistaking your reflection for your head what does that mean? It means you think you have a head in addition to your reflection. This is the same as that statement when all things come forward and confirm yourself that's what we're doing. That's Buddha's mind. When all things come forward that's one practice. So the third

[70:50]

Patriarch of Zen what is that? When a thing can no longer offend it ceases to exist in the old way. Something about when a thing can no longer offend you I don't know if there is that you but anyway when something no longer offends it ceases to exist in the old way. In the old way. When it no longer offends. I'm just you know really impressed with what a great precept this is. It's so great. If you think that there's something if you think that in Buddhadharma there's something against Buddhadharma

[71:52]

in Buddhadharma there's nothing against it. So if you're practicing Buddhadharma where does Buddhadharma stop? Anyplace? Does your practice stop anyplace? Does your practice not include anybody? And if it does include everybody then how can what they're doing be against Buddhadharma? This precept is saying is that nobody ever does anything against Buddhadharma from the point of view of your practice. And everything that everybody does particularly things that are difficult to accept takes you back to realize what yourself is. Yes. Okay. What I'm hearing is that if my ego is the center of my consciousness then I see fault in others.

[72:54]

If my ego loops over and I see everything as it is Buddha nature then I don't want this. I find fault in others. Because Buddha is looking at Buddha. Exactly. Buddha is looking at Buddha. And so actually when I begin to find fault that's a good reminder to me oh I'm back in the center of my consciousness. And not only that but you can do more than that you can also then use this thing you see out there as the you know as what you are and have it then remind you to turn around and look back. Every time you see a fault turn around and look back and you'll notice that there's nothing there. So faults not only show you what you are they also show you that what you've been walking around thinking you are is not there. So double relief. Right. But in this case

[73:55]

when you have a nice solid thing out there that you really you've got something working there for you. You cannot see your mind but you can see your mind in reflection. So when you see something you don't like it's a particularly nice time to look around because when you look back you'll see something so much less existent than what you are seeing out there. But like me look at me. Now do you see me? Now see how real I am? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Plus also when you're irritated with me or when I'm a problem not only are you thinking that you're over there so you think you're over there and haven't checked it out but also you've got a problem with me. The other way this way you won't have a problem with me as a matter of fact you realize that I'm showing you the practice. We're all showing you what your dharma is.

[74:56]

This is we're showing you what the practice is what the reality is plus we also show you what you are and you're a total relief total relieved being. All you got to be is what's happening. Therefore there's no criticizing others. Absolutely zero. But when people you know are driving on the wrong side of the street or something you get out of the way and maybe you wave to them. This is one practice. This is one dharma. This is we're all on the same path. This is how to how to not criticize others at the root. It's cutting off the root the mind root. You don't have to restrain yourself anymore and say well I'm not going to criticize others. It's a totally different way of seeing it in the first place and then when you come and tell people you know there's another way

[75:59]

to do this it's a gift. It's a gift. So who's hurting like I think I feel pain. There it is. Pain. Pain. That's real. There's the pain. Now are you going to criticize that pain or are you going to see there it is. Now work your way back from that. Pain. We're in pain. Come up to wherever the self is. Look at the difference between that pain and the self. Now how about criticizing the pain. The pain is what shows you is showing you the Buddhism. It's showing you the way. That's the practice among everything else too. Which is showing you is showing you the pain can be used

[76:59]

to show you that's what pain pain shows us what the self is. Pain shows us this this realm that we're talking about here. If you want to acquire such a realm you must become such a person. The person that you really are is a person that can actually sit in the middle of this intensely dynamic reality. You actually are there already perfectly at ease because you're so totally clear and empty. You can actually live here and so can I. But not if I criticize others. Then I'm here and I can't stand it anyway. Criticizing others is a signal that you can't stand to be alive because you're assuming something that's there you're assuming something is there which isn't there the way you're assuming it's there. So

[78:01]

when you do have pain when you are violating the precept in a sense turn around and practice the precept and look back. Where are you? Who are you? And again it's not like there's nothing there because who the one who's asking who is who you are. But what is that who? You cannot see it. You cannot get a hold of it. And therefore because it's so ungraspable ineffable and bright it can stand to be it can stand what's going on. If it can't stand then it's the ego. And then if the fuss is in the form of others having problems then remember others I mean you think there's something wrong with others now this is the practice. This is not their practice is off and your practice is right or your practice is off and their practice is right

[79:01]

we are doing strangely mysteriously we are doing one practice here. There's only one practice in this room there's only one path in this room there's only one Dharma in this room. Pardon? If you admire do you think that your practice is good? How about doing what's bad that you can do without anybody home? I don't think you have to

[80:01]

think you have to do something I'm not saying there's nothing there I'm just saying there's not a self over here that you got a hold of you don't need somebody in other words you can work back from admiring people and not find anybody also. Do the same thing look over there here's this person nice person wonderful practice lovely face work back and then I can come right from that place and go right back and admire again but I can't go back and find fault again. So admiration naturally comes from this forgotten self as a matter of fact that's what the forgotten self sees is how lovely everybody is. The forgotten self the unfound self cannot find fault it can however appreciate everyone because everyone is the forgotten self's benefactor because everyone is the one practice of the forgotten self. So you love all beings and appreciate all beings

[81:02]

when you feel that way. Appreciating people definitely does not need to be arrogant at all. Admiring or appreciating does not have to be the slightest bit arrogant. If you think that they're better than you that's not admiration that's a totally different thing that's called putting yourself down and then that's something in your practice which you should work yourself your way back to yourself and see what you find there then and the same practice will work. The person the mind is comparing work yourself way back to the person from there you'll come up with just as little in that way. Admiring people you do not have to compare yourself to them.

[82:03]

I don't you think that's true? What does the next precept say? The next precept says don't praise self at the expense of others. So it says don't do it this way while putting others down. That's you're not supposed to do that. But it doesn't say that you're not supposed to praise others because you're really projecting your own self-worth on them and it's really arrogant. It doesn't say not to do that. Why not just say it? Well you may you know who knows Buddhism may be taking a step forward now at this moment. But there's false appreciation

[83:05]

like if I look at the Doma and he's singing it or chanting it the way I like and I think that's good that's a false sense of good like good and evil the realm of ego ego says good ego says bad but all of what ego says Yeah, if you're saying this if you're saying I know what the practice of right is and this person is now doing what I say is right and I'm glad that they're doing what I say is right then but that's not criticizing the other person but that's true that is false appreciation that is simply that's not real appreciation you're just happy that you've got them under control you're grateful that they're under control you don't really appreciate them you think you actually don't appreciate them you're just glad that they're behaving properly according to your standards that's not real appreciation that's not adoring them that's not admiring them I admire people not when they get under my control

[84:06]

but when they stand up to me and tell me where they're at that's when I admire those are the only type of people I can admire therefore people who are doing something which is different from what I think is the usual way or even the good way or helpful way those people are people I can admire because they're being themselves they're not under my control and they're showing me the Buddha Dharma I do not have to think they're better than me though to admire them I can admire them simply primarily for being themselves and not being crushed by the request of me or anybody else to be under our control and admiring them

[85:07]

means I do not criticize their faults even though I might go to them and say there's another way of doing this I'd like to tell you about I might be very happy to tell them it's other way and they might say thanks or they might say I don't want to do it that way usually the dons don't do that what do you think? what you're doing is conforming to right now if you suggest something I think oh I bet you don't get my response if I don't do it even if I don't suggest it so that's still like conforming to some idea of what I have of what I'm doing

[86:09]

they might be doing that because I said whether they're being lectured or not and that's yeah and that is often what's going on that people are doing things to get the attention of certain people that's called one practice that's called a parent and a child or a teacher and a student and the student is doing something to get attention from the teacher sometimes they get they do it sometimes the way they do it is they say I have a question sometimes they say I don't agree with you sometimes they say what are you doing teacher that's what the Dharma is the Dharma is a student and a teacher having a talk that's one that's not like two practices that's one practice there's no such thing as a teacher here by himself or a student by herself there's no such stuff it's like gotta have two and when the student does something to get the attention of the teacher and this teacher does something to get the attention of the student so the student can do something to get attention of the teacher they're getting each other's attention right? one practice and sometimes the way they do it

[87:11]

sometimes the way teachers do it is they say what the students aren't expecting to get their attention, because if they say what they're expecting the student just go to sleep, or the student just say, yeah, I agree, that's fine, you're under control too. So students keep the teachers under control, teachers keep the students under control, and nobody has to realize what this precept means necessarily. When you have a little bit of difference of opinion, then this precept is very handy, and we almost always have differences available, so this precept is very useful. This precept is an opportunity to realize you and I are doing one practice together, not two, and mine isn't right, yours isn't right, mine isn't wrong, yours isn't wrong, we're just doing one practice, there actually is no, there's nothing inside of that practice that is against it on either side. If you have to, I don't know why I shouldn't use some bloody examples, but anyway, if you have to draw blood to get my attention, maybe you'll draw blood to get attention.

[88:16]

That's not wrong, that's actually the reason why you do that is because you want to experience that we're doing one practice, you'll do anything to get that experience, and I think that's great that you'll do anything to get that experience. All of us will eventually do what's ever necessary to get that relationship. Yeah? So is everybody practicing all the time, or is everybody practicing all the time? It's not so much that everybody is practicing all the time, but that the practice of Buddha Dharma is one practice. Okay? So the way that the world was practicing when he was alive, that was one practice. And there's no way to criticize others in that one practice. What Hitler was telling your parents and the parents of the children in Germany, what Hitler

[89:23]

was telling them about their life was telling them about their practice. That was the one practice that was going on at that time. And anybody who was criticizing him and saying that he was at fault was not appreciating what Buddhist practice is about. What Hitler was doing was telling everybody else about themselves, and everybody else was telling Hitler. Did he realize it? I don't know. No. But he was doing one practice with the rest of the universe, and everybody else was doing one practice with him. And he was telling people all over the world something about themselves. Who realized it? Who practiced this precept? I don't say everybody practices this precept. I said this precept is about how we're all practicing together. Buddha feels like he or she is practicing with all of us. Buddha does not feel like she's got to practice and we've got to practice doing a separate

[90:24]

thing. That's not how Buddha sees it. Therefore Buddha cannot criticize anybody.

[90:29]

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