Once again, the first point in practice is to discover, to arouse the way-seeking mind, to arouse the enlightened attitude, to allow, to arouse the spirit of enlightenment Intimacy with impermanence manifests the thought of enlightenment. Very basic, wonderful association. Our body and mind being intimate with the impermanence of things.

[01:02]

the spirit of enlightenment arises and selfish concerns drop away. How do we become intimate with the impermanent quality of all things? How do we become intimate with the body and mind of self dropped off? Just notice, just be aware of the mind concerned with the self, the mind concerned with gaining enlightenment or happiness for the self. Just be aware of that mind. I also said take a good look at it, but take a good look doesn't mean

[02:11]

You know, to stick your head into it and go running after it. A good look means that you sit upright and you just are aware of the functioning of this mind. You don't go running after it and dissect it necessarily. You just sit upright and if it wants to be dissected, it will come and dissect itself right in front of you. It's not to analyze this mind, but be aware that this mind naturally analyzes itself. When it's analyzing, you're aware that it's analyzing. When it's not, it appears that way. We reflect on this mind that's concerned with gain. This reflecting on the mind is called, as Elke pointed out, studying the self. To arouse the thought of enlightenment,

[03:12]

practice the Buddha way is to study the self. When you study the self, you forget the self. When you study the mind that's concerned for the self, you forget about the self. If you're studying the mind and you haven't forgot about the self, you haven't quite got the study down. When you're studying just right, when you're aware of your self-concern in just the right way, the self-concern drops. And not only that, but you won't be concerned for whether it drops or not, or whether you notice that it dropped or not. But it does. When you're not concerned with whether it's dropped or not, it's dropped. But it's hard not to be concerned whether you're successful at what you're trying to practice. Nonetheless, that's the kind of practice this is.

[04:17]

It's a practice where you practice it without concern for whether you're successful or not. And as soon as you practice that way, you're successful. This practice can also be called learning the backward step, which turns the light around and shines it back. echo hensho. The light returns. The light goes back to where it comes from. This expression of turning the light around and illuminating is actually from the fourth ancestor. This is another aspect of the one practice samadhi. Always turn the light around and shine it back to illuminate the self. Eko hensho doesn't actually have self in there.

[05:20]

It just means the light is turned around and the light is reversed. The light returns and shines back. The light turns around and shines back in the self and body and mind of themselves drop away. As soon as the light's on the body and mind, as soon as the light's on the self-concern, as soon as the light's on these egocentric thoughts, thoughts, feelings, emotions, or whatever, as soon as the light's on them the right way, they drop. You turn the light on too brightly, it doesn't work. Too dimly, it doesn't work. You turn the light on with any interest at all for seeing anything, and you don't see it. Turning the light back, learning the backward step. learning the backwards step, to learn how to turn that light in such a way as the self is illuminated, body and mind drop away of themselves and your original kisser manifests.

[06:29]

Just forget yourself for now and practice inwardly. This is one with the thought of enlightenment and I appreciate Another way of saying this is that this is the most realistic form of bodhicitta. Now, another form of bodhicitta which is really beautiful and really wonderful is the thought, the wish to liberate all beings in the entire universe before yourself. This is totally selfless and wonderful wish but it may be unrealistic for some Zen students. Now, people who practice Vajrayana don't have that problem. They're not so, I don't know, egocentric. So it's not so difficult for them to find this bodhi mind. But Zen students have a lot of trouble actually wishing everybody would get enlightened before them.

[07:37]

There's maybe three people that they would like to get enlightened before them. But some people they would like maybe to get enlightened way after them, like They'd like to be enlightened for a real long time before some people get enlightened. And some people actually don't care at all when they get enlightened. So it's kind of like, I'm kind of like out of the bodhicitta realm then, huh? But no, Dogen Zenji comes to your aid. You, selfish people who really don't want to save everybody before you, You can have bodhicitta too if you just look at that mind that doesn't want to save other people. Just look at that mind that wants to save yourself first. Or at least in the first ten. Look at the mind that wants to save yourself and be famous after you've saved yourself. Look at the mind that wants to save yourself and look like you've saved yourself. Look at that mind

[08:41]

turn the light back on that mind, and that is actually one with the Bodhi mind too. And when you turn the light back on this mind that wants to get enlightened before somebody, body and mind drop away, your original face manifests, and your original face just happens to be the face of somebody who wants to liberate everybody before herself. So you get the actual bodhisattva face by facing back at your selfishness. So this is like a real practical way to get bodhicitta for those who are not yet really ready for that sort of inconceivably wonderful bodhicitta of where you really would like to help everybody like your worst sleazeball friend before yourselves. So people have, in this actual monitor, have been doing this practice.

[09:44]

I've talked to some of you. You actually are looking back, and you've noticed some of these selfish thoughts, some of these selfish feelings and emotions. I haven't actually asked you for examples, just that you've been checking, and I guess many of you found these things. And I'm happy to say that close to perfect. In other words, close to body and mind dropping off. Now that I said that, you're ready for the next section called You Should Practice the Buddhist Teaching with No Gaining Idea. So, if you're actually, like, getting in there really close and you sense that you're getting close to, like, Looking at your thoughts in the right way, you maybe sense, as little birds start bringing you messages, you're almost going to drop body and mind.

[10:53]

At that time, you may wish that they were telling the truth and not turn the light around. Anyway, there's the teaching, and the next section was, put it into practice, and the next section is that in the Buddha way, you always enter enlightenment through practice. And again, I just want to say one more time during this practice period, enlightenment is not caused, and yet, enlightenment is always entered in the state of effort. Nobody's like, you know, no un-effortful person, somebody who's not making an effort. Enlightenment cannot penetrate that laziness to realization.

[11:56]

So the enlightenment of the Buddha under the Bodhi tree is called ,, which means the nirvana that comes from concerted effort. Buddha was making an effort under the Bodhi tree and entered enlightenment. But the effort that the Buddha made under the Bodhi tree did not cause the enlightenment. Old-time Buddhist teachings say that. This is Pratisamkha Naroda is not caused. It is unborn Dharma. However, the Naroda, the enlightenment, depends on effort. If there's not effort, it can't happen. So you always enter through effort, through practice. But the practice doesn't cause it. So it isn't like you practice and that causes enlightenment. But also, if you're just sitting there not making an effort, enlightenment can't enter you and you can't enter enlightenment. Even though it's not cause, it is your nature and it manifests in dependence on effort.

[13:06]

What kind of effort? The kind of effort is, of course, selfless effort. Effort that's not trying to gain something for yourself. That kind of effort, where you're working really wholeheartedly, not for yourself. How can you work wholeheartedly, not for yourself? He said, well, I'll work wholeheartedly for others. That's pretty good. It's a big improvement. However, Dogen Zenji even goes one step further and says, don't practice for yourself and don't even practice for others. Practice just for practice.

[14:10]

Don't practice Buddha Dharma for your own sake Don't practice Buddhadharma for your own enlightenment. Not to mention, don't practice Buddhadharma for fame and wealth. Don't even practice for others. Practice Buddhadharma just for the sake of Buddhadharma. They don't have compassion for the other's sake. Now, I'm saying this to you And I think that that's interesting what I just said. But it's not so much that that's better than some other way of saying it. The point is just that what Dogen's saying here is that in order to be free from gain, you have to be ready for your mind to constantly get revolutionized and reformed from its tendency to slip into attachment for what it's approaching

[15:13]

People are attracted to Buddhism because Shakyamuni Buddha was so good looking, and smart, and compassionate, and magically equipped, and had such great students. They heard of Shakyamuni Buddha's excellent qualities, or they're attracted by these bliss-body Buddhas like Amitabha who radiate light and liberate beings by this light. But Dogen says that if your teacher tells you that Buddha really was a toad or an earthworm, you should throw your ideas out the window and practice in accordance with the teacher. Now, he said, some people translate, you should believe your teacher, like, oh, And it's really true that, you know, Buddha was a toad.

[16:24]

Kind of like seeing, you know, sort of visualize this little toad there teaching all those people. Maybe that's the way to believe it. But another way to understand to believe it is that you should see what it feels like when your teacher tells you that your Shakyamuni Buddha is a toad. What happens to your mind when that happens? Now maybe what you should do is like switch your mind from big beautiful Buddha to little toad. But maybe also you should just watch what happens to the self when its agenda and its understanding of Buddha gets tampered with, gets adjusted. What happens there? I don't think it's so much that you're supposed to like switch from big good looking golden Buddha to little toad. and that that's really the way. I think it's that you should be liberated from big, beautiful Buddha and toad.

[17:28]

So of course, if you switch from Buddha to toad and then you come in to see the teacher and you've got the toad in your mind, the teacher will start putting gold leaf on the toad. Leave my toad alone. And when you say, leave my toad alone, the teacher's got an opportunity there. Which, of course, in the politically correct world of California, he will not utilize that opportunity. Just let you bring your little toad in there. So a lot of people, what they do is they bring a little toad in and say, can I get by with this toad? Sure. There's stories in the old country about what happens to people who bring the toads in. Or bring the golden Buddhas in. They get the feedback. But we don't give feedback here.

[18:32]

Because, you know, then we go to court. In the Zen Center, we have like a grievance committee. If any teacher ever tried to actually practice this way, it would be like in a grievance procedure like that. You're protected from actual feedback on your toes. Zen center has been completely, you know, sanitized and defanged. So no teacher will give you any feedback, except those who don't even see you, and they'll tell you what they think. But if they don't see you, they can't hurt you. Don't worry. If you bring your little Buddha, Buddhism in there, say, here's my Buddhism. an actual teacher was there who didn't know about these grievance procedures, they might say something which would tamper with your worldview, with your idea of practice, which you have nicely arranged in order so that you would get something out of it.

[19:41]

And here I am telling you, okay, now, get ready now, take that light, turn it around, shine it on the self, look at that self, got the self in view there, see all those greasy little painful, selfish thoughts. Just study them and then they'll all drop away and you'll be free. It's true. But if there's a slight bit of attachment to that process, it backfires. If there's a slight bit of attachment to me in instructing you to get you to do it, it backfires for me. If you follow my instruction with any attachment or gaining idea, it backfires for you and me. And if I see you using this instruction about how to become free of gaining idea in a gaining way, I won't say anything. Don't worry. Because like I say, I'm scared of what will happen to me.

[20:46]

And that's an example, again, of gaining idea. The teacher is afraid of what will happen to her if she gives any real feedback because people might not like it. So Dogen says, people these days, if people praise them for something, even though they know that thing is not in accord with the way, they keep doing it. And if they're doing something that people don't praise, even though they know it's in accord with the way, they drop it. Now, that used to be the case back, you know, in Dogen's time. Is there anything like that going on here? That when people like what you do, you try to do it again? Well, of course. And when people don't like what you do, you try to drop it. Well, of course. But if something is not in accord with the way and they like it, would you do it then? And if something wasn't in accord with the way and they didn't like it or didn't praise it, would you drop it?

[21:53]

It's a possibility that some of us might chicken out. And not do what we clearly see is in accord with the Buddha way. Because we think people won't like it. Or they already told us they don't like it. And vice versa. We know it's the right thing, but we know people don't. Or we know it's the wrong thing, but we know people like it. You know, like people are, whatever, you know, saying something bad about somebody. And they don't like it if we, you know, don't join in. So, we join in. And they said, boy, you have really made some good comments there. Come to our party again. He says, the people are like that, you know, in the world. And he says, they do this stuff, you know, to get praise, and they don't do good stuff to avoid blame and criticism.

[23:01]

He said, they even... Think about the future. And I thought, it sounds like that was the worst thing they do somehow. And I thought, maybe in those days, a lot of people didn't think about the future. Like they thought, let's get through this day. Let's just get through this day. But today, a lot of people think about the future. I've heard that. And I even myself think about the future. And you know, sometimes it's fun. But I don't like it. But I'm not attached to not thinking about the future. I want you to know that. I do let go of not thinking about the future and occasionally think about it. And it is sometimes fun. Sometimes it's not. Whether it's fun or not, the point is I feel like it's kind of a distraction.

[24:08]

Almost always. I actually have enough to deal with right now. Just the right amount. All Buddha's compassion and sympathy for sentient beings are neither for their own sake or for others. This is just the nature of Dharma. usual way in Buddha Dharma. This is another, not this is another, this gives you some examples of how it is that one of the main ways that Dogen Zenji talks about the thought of enlightenment is through the behavior of the Buddha ancestors. because their stories, to a great extent, are stories about how to practice with a pure intention, how to practice free of gain and fame.

[25:22]

So many of the examples are about how to do this basic practice of watching the self, of observing the normal human greedy mind, the normal human deluded mind, without esteeming it or despising it. And once you actually are effective at watching your mind and actually even being effective to the point of body and mind dropping away, even then the attitude still needs to be continually revolutionized and purified. People have actually dropped body and mind and still given rise to this kind of gaming attitude. And so many of the stories are about people who have

[26:31]

got their old face on, got their original face, but are still somewhat susceptible, or still, as you say, still somewhat lacking in the vital way of total emancipation. They've entered the gate. They've dropped their outflow. And yet there's still some gaining idea And that's why we need to somehow open ourselves to the instruction of the other, of the teacher. And that's the next section. Section number five. You should seek a true teacher and practice Zen and study the way. So the next talk will be about that, will be about the true teacher business.

[27:40]

So again, the old way of talking about it back in the Kamakura Japan or Tang Dynasty was they had a way of talking about this teacher business. But between now and then, I want you to think about this teacher thing. And remember, you're safe. No teacher can get to you at Zen Center. Unless you really want the teacher to do so. So that the teacher can give you feedback which will totally change your attitude every time you meet. You have to give that authority to the teacher. because the teacher doesn't have it. If you want to just stay inside your little cocoon, your little shell, your protective sugar coating in which you're practicing, you can do it.

[28:56]

In some monasteries, you wouldn't be able to. In some Zen centers, you wouldn't be able to. The teacher just naturally would Crack the shell. Wouldn't be able to help it because that's just the way it is some places. But here you're protected. Here you have to like beg for it. Or put it the other way, you have to be the great one to give the authority to somebody so that when they blink, you change. so that when they smile or frown, you question the fundamental understanding of practice. And it also might mean that you question the teacher.

[30:00]

The person you give the authority to, you might question too. Part of the way you think it may be that when you give authority to somebody, what that means is you don't question them. That could be questioned, too. I haven't started talking about this topic yet, really. That's tomorrow. I just want to say one more thing. in case I forget, because this is important, okay? Now stop, all right? Okay? This may sound like I'm bragging, but, you know, please forgive me beforehand. Please forgive me beforehand. Please. This is going to really sound so arrogant. But sometimes I trade tricks with my wife. And she didn't grow up in America.

[31:02]

She grew up in other countries. And even if she did grow up in America, she and her sister, and I think her mother too, they're genetically, they don't have much sense of space. They can't tell which direction north and south are. Even though I've explained to her how to do that on a sunny day, she hasn't quite got it yet. But anyway, when we're traveling, she can't tell which way to go, usually. Whereas I grew up in America, so I can often tell which place to turn. I look at the maps, and I read the maps. I like to study maps. Ha, ha, ha. I like to study maps about paths. And I have been studying these maps of paths for California and the United States. I even do it in China. When I get to China, when I'm coming to Shanghai, I get a map, and I start walking around. So when we're traveling, she gives me the authority to be navigator for the trip.

[32:07]

We both drive, but I get to sort of say, well, now we turn here, turn at the next stop, make a left here, make a right. And she enjoys, you know, that it actually works most of the time. And she said, your job is to navigate and be the authority. My job is to question authority. Are you sure we should turn here? Are you sure? I don't think this is the right place to turn. Are you going the wrong way, aren't you? So study, turn the light around, study. Study self. Study self-cleaning. Study self-gaining. Study even trying to gain helping others. See if you can find the mind that practices just for the sake of practice.

[33:09]

But that mind is hard to find, actually, because it has no abode. It has no address. So I said try to find it, but I really take it back. Just make yourself ready for it to be revealed to you. And the way to be ready for its revelation If you watch the mind that is concerned with gain, just watch that mind, which does have an address. Its address is here. And now, watch that mind. And if you watch that mind with no gaining idea, the mind of no gaining idea will come and reveal itself to you. And then see if you can leave it alone and not hold on to it, even though it is not doing you such a great kindness. from all suffering, and see if you can not grab that release, not grab that benefit. And then they'll come and do it again, even more, and then see if you can not grab that, and so on.

[34:17]

That's the practice. See if you can do that without any gaining idea. And if you think you're doing it without any gaining idea, then give somebody the authority to blink it And after you give them the authority to blink at you, give them the authority not to blink at you. After you say, you know, you can say whatever you want. Go ahead, now say whatever you want. Say it now. And they don't talk. Let them do that, too. Make it easy on them.

[35:05]

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