The Zen teacher Tore said, when I, a student of the Dharma, look at the real form of the universe, all is the unceasing revelation, never failing manifestation of the Tathagata, the mysterious truth of the talk. So, yeah, so when you look at the real form, you see like that. But looking at the unreal form, we see something different. There's a painting of a painter named Dogen, and there's a reproduction of it on the back of a set of translations called Mununadudra.

[01:13]

And when one of my friends looked at that scroll, he noticed that one of Dogen's eyes is looking this way, another one of Dogen's eyes was looking this way. And he said, this eye seems to be looking at, I don't know what he said, maybe he could say, the real form of the universe. He was looking at a hamburger. And sometimes people say bodhisattvas switch back and forth from seeing hamburgers and cows and people. And then they switched to see the real form of the universe. And then they switched back to see the superficial form of the universe, back and forth. But in that painting it was like, you know,

[02:19]

That painting looked like Dogen was looking in two directions at once. And sometimes people say that Buddhas see both the real form and the provisional form simultaneously. Or the real form and the deceptive form at the same time. Go back and forth. Also sometimes there's a picture of Suzuki Roshi which you've seen on the back of Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, and again it looks like one eye's looking up, the other one's looking down maybe a little bit. So they often say that about older teachers, that it seems like one eye's looking up and one's looking down. One eye kind of wisdom and the other eye compassion. One looking at the world, and one looking at transcendence of the world. So this is two things. So anyway, Tore Zenji didn't talk about... well, he did actually.

[03:27]

So he says when he looks at the real form, he sees everything is the unfailing manifestation of Tathagata. But then he says, sort of looking in another way, when I see somebody who I've been kind to who is cruel to me, remember that part? That I would extend tender compassion to them. So when we don't see the unfailing manifestation of the Tathagata, when we see this looks like cruelty, we practice compassion towards that. And that compassion towards cruelty goes with seeing the real form of the universe. Seeing the real form of the universe empowers us to respond compassionately to the not real form of the universe.

[04:30]

Or, you know, the conventional form of the universe is there's cruelty and not cruelty. Kindness and cruelty, and this is the teaching of the Tathagata, and this is not. But there's another realm of vision where everything is the... There's another realm of vision where everything is the unfailing manifestation of the Tathāgata. And that vision of the unfailing manifestation makes it possible to compassion even when people are being cruel to us or others. And transmitting this compassion is part of the intimate transmission.

[05:37]

People can receive the compassion coming to them from the vision of the real form of the universe, if they can receive that compassion, they can start practicing it. As they start to receive it and practice it, they start to open to the wisdom which sees the true form. But first of all they have to be opened, and the opening occurs by receiving compassion and giving compassion and receiving. Many people have said, I vow, I wish to assist all beings, and I recently said to someone, do you also vow, oh no, I vow to be available to assist all beings, and I said, are you also available to be assisted by all beings?

[06:44]

And the person I asked said, yes. I do wish to be available, to be assisted by all beings. To all beings. Kriya, did you assist the parkers? Yes. And did Andrea assist the parking people? Yes. Did she leave? Yes. Thank you. We had three. Yeah, and the third person is... So thank you, Delfina, Kriya, and Andrea. You did a great job in parking. We are trying to park really compassionately.

[08:34]

And we are vowing to receive assistance in parking from Delfina and Kriya and Andrea. Thank you so much. And thank you for carpooling which is part of our compassionate parking, is to have not the maximum, but try to minimize the number of cars as an act of compassion for Mill Valley and the whole universe. take care of the visible and audible vehicles that we can open to the invisible, inaudible vehicle.

[09:45]

If we got a bus, we could take the great vehicle. ...as a compassionate bus, you know, like in a huge, non-polluting, solar-empowered bus. How about self-driving? How about self and other driving? I don't mean to be greedy, but it's okay. I think I am greedy because I'm thinking... You mean you are? Yes, I am very greedy because when you were speaking about compassion, I feel like I can speak about myself at least, that maybe I was very limited in receiving compassion.

[10:55]

Maybe compassion never reached me as much. Maybe... available to me, therefore I'm very limited in my compassion. So if there are limited beings in compassion, with compassion itself, I think I'm even limited with compassion. Being the recipient of compassion, I think I even am limited in that. Therefore, I feel there is no breaking here. That limitation is where I am. And that compassion is vast, so therefore I cannot bring it in my container.

[11:57]

Yeah, you feel like you don't have the capacity for great compassion yet. Yeah, as much as I wish it, but... So wishing it is, if you want, if you wish great compassion, then it would be appropriate to keep wishing for great compassion and wishing to someday have the capacity to receive great compassion. And even with someone who you think, like, I thought Suzuki Roshi was pretty compassionate. I didn't feel like, he's not compassionate enough. I didn't feel like that. I also didn't feel compassionate enough. I just felt like, I just didn't think he was lacking compassion for me. But when he turned, when he gave me his full compassion, I often wanted to get out of the room. His compassion, although I didn't put it that way, I just wanted his attention to teach me Zen.

[13:08]

I didn't think of it as compassion in those days, but anyway, when his full attention came to me, when his full compassion came to me, I kind of didn't have the capacity to receive it, in a way. Even though I was receiving it, I kind of wanted to go someplace else. But then there was another day, and another day. And as time went on, I less and less felt, I shouldn't say less and less, I just got more and more opportunities to receive what I was given as much as I could and keep doing it over and over and over and over on the endless path of having the capacity to receive and therefore give. great compassion, limitless compassion. In the meantime, it is compassionate to be kind to my limit, to the limits of how much compassion I'm ready to accept.

[14:15]

Could you help me, because I have some kind of a blockage with the over and over and over, because I feel this overing is what actually blocks me from being who I am. How would you like me to help you with that? Understanding of this. This must be understood. This is not understood, so it keeps... When you say understanding, do you mean like correct understanding? Correct understanding, yes. Authentic, real understanding of this, so this can settle. Buddha wants that for you. And when Buddha sees you doing what you're talking about, Buddha wants you to understand that. But the path to understanding that is to open to it and start being kind of like really kind to this pattern of over and over doing this thing that you're talking about that you want to understand.

[15:29]

And it's just going to keep going until you're really patient with it. And when you're really patient with it, you're not trying to get away from it. You're really patient with it, that means you're open to the understanding of it. But if you want to get rid of it, this obnoxious pattern that you're talking about, then if you try to get rid of it, you push the wisdom away, you push the understanding away. So we have to totally love this, whatever this thing is, in order to, we have to open to the wisdom, I mean to the compassion, which means open to the wisdom. Then we can see the demonstration. Then we can see that Buddha's

[16:30]

teaching us, and then we can wake up, and so on. But we have to really have, first of all, again, this capacity for compassion for this thing, which so far, oops, not quite, no, not this one, not this one, this one I want to get rid of. You have to be really cranky. Really what? Really cranky. You have to be ready for the cranking to go on forever. I don't. Embarrassment. I aspire to be embarrassed for as long as necessary. Really open to the embarrassment.

[17:36]

I'm embarrassed, but I'm not really that open. So I think I'm willing for the embarrassment to come back and visit me until I do open. And that would be great. But then there would be something else. When I open to the embarrassment, really, I will open to wisdom. Then the Buddhists can teach me. But if I don't have any embarrassment, I'm probably in denial. Even the Buddha in the last birth was embarrassed sometimes of what she did. But if you're embarrassed about things enough, they'll drop away. You will be ready for the teaching even more than you are now.

[18:46]

And you're quite ready now, which is great, but you can even be more ready by being more open to that thing, your thing, your thing, your thing. Where is the place where you go, no, not that? Okay? Then be patient with not that. Gradually it'll open. Or maybe suddenly. What if this maybe, I can think of some examples of things that can sometimes be, sometimes they're just hurtful to oneself, but sometimes like something that you're stuck in can be harmful for others. Well, you know, I think you said, I can see things that are harmful just to myself. For example, like maybe a lack of compassion for oneself.

[19:48]

Well, maybe actually in a broader sense it is damaging to others. Yeah, in the broader sense of reality. If you're not compassionate to yourself, that lack of compassion pervades the entire universe. But it doesn't necessarily hurt everybody, it just pervades everybody. Some of the people are kind of like, oh, welcome R.E.A. 's lack of compassion, you know? But it doesn't pervade according to the real form of the universe. Your lack of compassion pervades, and everybody pervades your lack of compassion. So there's not just harm to you. And there's not just benefit to you. If you're compassionate to yourself, that compassion pervades all beings.

[20:51]

Yes, you can say more if you'd like. Well, what I think in addition also is that sometimes there's... What I meant to say is that compassion maybe has the appearance anyway of, again, in the broader sense of being damaging in general, but then we were talking about being open to a lack of compassion and finally you let go of the ways in which that might bother you or something like that. But it seems to me that there's other habits of mine that can be damaging in an even greater way. For example, if you're deeply angry with somebody... That's a lack of compassion. I mean, anger like ill will. Not anger like, no, don't hurt yourself. You know, there can be a fiery rage which is compassion, which wakes people up.

[21:57]

But wishing people is totally not compassion. So watch out for that one. But if you are, then here comes the embarrassment. Hopefully. The Buddha was embarrassed about some aversion towards some old people. I'm like, yuck. Somebody said to me a couple days ago, you look like you're 23. In other words, you don't look too good. For 73, yeah, okay. If you were like 40, you'd look really bad.

[23:01]

You would like not be cute. Yeah, if I was 40, you know, I would be found really repulsive by this person. You know, yeah, we got this date with you for a 40-year-old, and I show up and go, ooh, yuck. But then, if she was a Buddha, she would be embarrassed. You shouldn't feel like a 73-year-old is yucky. I'm sorry, but I do. I do, I know. Embarrassed baby Buddha. But by confessing that and saying, I'm sorry, I'm embarrassed, you become a Buddha. Well, once again, thank you so much for a great year at Good Old No Abode.

[24:29]

And may we continue to park compassionately. May our destination be grace and prosperity.

[24:43]

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